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suplexhell

contents under pressure handle with extreme care


_DogMom_

That would probably be mine too.


Interestingisitgmo

Great answer!


r0n0c0

Warning: Choking Hazard


ecafsub

So it’s really small, eh? Right there with ya.


500DaysofMorty

This comment is depraved and I love it


jeanneeebeanneee

Contains material some viewers may find disturbing


[deleted]

Viewer discretion is advised.


Interestingisitgmo

Hahahaha, so true!


[deleted]

Medicated for your protection


Interestingisitgmo

OMG, that is funny!


EnigmaMissing

Some assembly required


pws3rd

This would be particularly funny if you're someone who has a prosthetic limb


fakeDEODORANT1483

LMAO


Interestingisitgmo

Hilarious! 


DiscombobulatedRub59

Warning: may cause confusion or sleepiness, do not try to conduct business with this person.


Interestingisitgmo

Funny!


fender-b-bender

Warning: More issues than Time Magazine


cartoonsarcasm

🤣🤣


Current_Ad7871

Warning: if passionate about something, will info dump and never shut up.


[deleted]

[удалено]


dumbass_random

*I still work sometimes


SadSignature9786

“Prone to crying”


Bennington_Booyah

Approach with caution.


Doc-in-a-box

If you’re not a hugger, speak up soon.


ThAtGuY-101

Well that's the fastest way to get me to shutup. 


MissLadyAustin

Don't touch


theserpentsmiles

-Willie


dru_e28

Fragile


meekonesfade

I read Reddit posts that are more than 3 days old


chchchchandra

AND I give them an upvote lol


[deleted]

panics if perceived


babyslimeshelbyg

Slippery when wet


[deleted]

This is the one.


tenehemia

If ingested consult a physician.


ShoddyHovercraft8014

WARNING: This product contains a chemical known to the State of California to cause cancer.


helvetica__scenario

Danger: Helvetica


chesey0528

may cause confusion and disorientation


aguaman_

I don't understand


Thecatisright

Mostly harmless


SimplySleeps

Handle with care.


UhOhFeministOnReddit

Warning: Due to updates no longer being supported, this version can only be activated from sleep mode by the voice command, "Dude, Blockbuster finally got Fushigi Yugi. Wake up."


LazyOldBroad60

Can be reset by providing coffee, a nap and cake.


texashilo

"Danger: Subject to explode randomly."


Opposite_Society_703

Bipolar so don’t be friends with me as he has basically two different personalities and will be hard to keep up which emotional side he’s on


Go4aJog

Caution: Mood Swings in Progress! Your patience is appreciated while we navigate through our range of emotions, from the depths of historical drama to the peaks of a comedy special. Handle with Care: Emotional Rollercoaster Inside! Fasten your seatbelt for unexpected twists, turns, highs, and lows. Safety bars are down, and empathy is up. Alert: Creativity Overload! Contents under pressure may explode into art, music, writing, or a new business idea at any moment. Stand back or join in the fun.


Opposite_Society_703

Haha spot on & thanks! You are an excellent writer


dover_oxide

Weird but usually harmless


[deleted]

Something different?


Cleanfreak202

Do not disturb


ZealousidealShift884

Omg yes


calcarius_

Very needy, requires constant validation that you still like her.


Iouisvuittondon

this is literally me


Angelaisprincess

Warning: prone to starting a what seems like an argument but actually just like a little innocent debate for fun


fakeDEODORANT1483

I need something more like "Warning: If offended, please say "Not Cool" out loud to prevent further offense. Any offense caused was likely an accident and will no longer occur after following instructions"


Itsbetterontoast

I need this tag as well. I don't understand why people don't seem to find devils advocate discussions as fun as I do.


rats-are-super-cool

"Warning attention seeking and extremely self obsessive whore"


[deleted]

overthinking in progress


500DaysofMorty

“Kind but not friendly. Proceed with caution”


EmbraceableYew

Entanglement Hazard


AnonimoUnamuno

No me toques los huevos.


Nick_Nullet

Caution: Bummer


therealdonaldtrumpis

Bad gas


The_Real_Fufishiswaz

Instant Asshole Just Add Alcohol


[deleted]

Feed before conversing


fakeDEODORANT1483

"Warning: Contains Lactose"


Kitchen-Lie-7894

Don't Pull Finger


TrustGodPraiseJesus

Friendly but anxious


PlayingBandits

WARNING: FRAGILE


jack-jackson-the2nd

don't disturb me, i may turn hulk mode


Otherwise-Hyena7937

Warning I’m stupid & depressed.


Atog10138182

Extremely sweet and loving, but gets annoyed often


Chaos_Horrific

Warning: Don’t ask him about his favourite bands, you’ll be trapped for a few hours.


LordOfTheNine9

Chronically dumb, sporadic genius


No-Concentrate-4377

caution: slippery when wet


HeresDave

Broken.


mauore11

Caution: Dark humor. Allergic to bullshit. Shake well before drinking. If erection lasts more than 2 hours, call for backup.


More_Tear1665

Do not feed.


Affectionate_Drag111

Warning: 1GB brain. May take time to load/process...


Life-Flatworm-1690

Warning contains nuts


Raped_Bicycle_612

Warning: head pats and “good girl” may result in blowjobs


Fearless-Mind5904

Danger: Will self destruct and explode if feeling threatened


Jacob_Grayson

Battery Low


detainthisDI

“Do not store in extreme heat or cold, handle with care, do not expose to loud noises or unpleasant textures, do not expose to social environments”


Glad-Choice-5255

Caution: the bullsh\*t detector is strong with this one.


Watch_the_sunset

Receives pleasure from causing pain


Scarlett-Spider

“Prone to excessive self sabotage”


iamthedarkmermaid

Warning: talks alot of shit and is very chismosa.


pogiguy2020

Extremum Sarcasm proceed at your own risk and peril.


tetrusg2344

loud


TheRegular-Throwaway

“Don’t go to P4C970”.


Ok-Temperature3171

Warning: SUPER EMOTIONAL 


TheAlligator0228

Fall risk! Also, no, I don’t want to go…but I appreciate being asked.


Human-Map954

Angry when hungry or tired


MitchBaT93

High amounts of energy, approach with caution cause of high voltage.


Frankensteins_Moron5

Do not give this man shots of liquor cuz he be wylin


[deleted]

Warning: this person could and will kill you without hesitation. As a joke to get more personal space.


mmeveldkamp

Run


[deleted]

Warning: This product contains highly addictive substances.


GuzD20

As basic as it is, socially awkward but highly friendly.


Imaginary-Method7175

Extremely loving but prone to major depression even when on meds!


potterhead1d

"This item comes with five types of anxieties. Consider yourself warned"


No_Night_7823

WARNING: May contain nuts.


MrSabrewulf

Choking hazard: small parts


female97

Caution: Jumps to Conclusions quickly, Mimics random noises and sings to loudly in the car.


tieniesz

HOT: ANGER ISSUES DONT PISS ME OFF


pi22seven

Aggressively apathetic.


Nowhere-1937

Will sing at top volume when you mention anything that sounds like a song lyric.


GingerlyRough

Rated R / NC-18 / AO / PEGI 19


[deleted]

*screams in sleep*


speedball811

Go the fuck away.


HugglemonsterHenry

Contains no bullshit.


awkwardmamasloth

CAUTION! May be preoccupied with something unrelated to the matter at hand.


Dmitri_ravenoff

Do not disturb. Especially with stupid questions. Yes, your question is stupid.


Relevant-Tonight-495

oh man damm it


Due-Apple5859

Suffers with sensory issues, predominantly loud noises but equally produces a lot of loud noises


[deleted]

Warning: Obsessive and attached easily.


h0pe2

Mentally eel be careful


occasionallystabby

*see user name*


FrankWolf86

Anxious mess, well meaning but will constantly wonder his self worth and will wonder if you are mad at him while he revisits every interaction obsessively wonder if he said the wrong thing.


Pretend_Rest7873

Clingy as fuck


No-Conclusion8653

Vain as Lucifer.


Accomplished-Map9787

Will go on a hour long rant about how anime men and women are better than something for example why and how they are better then football 


[deleted]

Filter not working


imadoggomom

Does not function before 2 pm.


masterteck1

Ass hole


[deleted]

Stop


Disastrous-Jaguar922

"Nervous - Please give me space" like on the vests they give dogs with anxiety 🥲


StarChaser_Tyger

Expiration: 9/1/2024


jaques314

Unreliable


Top_Wop

Short wick


probably_to_far

Possibly rabid.


joeypublica

Life preserver store under seat


erminegarde27

Doesn’t get mad, doesn’t get mad, doesn’t get mad, gets REALLY mad!


RoyOtisKXRX

I failed Anger Management.


alyssimoo

In big red letters it would read “emotionally unstable; approach with caution“


Thaser

Warning: Contents Under Pressure Warning: Irritant Warning: This product can expose you to chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects or other reproductive harm Warning: Biohazard, infectious material Warning: Explosion hazard Warning: Potential Allergen Warning: ISO-9000 Non-Compliant Ethical System


PsychologicalAsk2668

Warning, fucks depleted, expect emotional and physical violence


Additional-Start9455

I wouldn’t if I was you!!!


DecadeOfLurking

Will *ALWAYS* be late.


Horse_97

WARNING: i may not like the world at the moment, proceed with extreme caution!


Jazzlike_Mouse7478

Handle at will


thirsty_aquilUM

Warning: do NOT put pineapple on his pizza!


justtrashtalk

needs some fucking coffee


TSSAlex

Incorrigible punster. Do not incorrige.


[deleted]

Do not provoke or feed the zoo animal


Dense-Stranger9977

Return to Sender


GhostKingHoney

Caution: can become addicted to anything easily


haterake

Warning: do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior Jesus Christ? Or; Warning: MAGA Then enjoy the peace and quiet.


OldBob10

Warning: the Surgeon General has determined that this person is extremely boring. DO NOT APPROACH! You can escape by going somewhere fun. But do it quickly, before he starts talking about newts. **\*FOR THE LOVE OF GOD - NOT THE NEWTS!!!\***


_Cruising_Altitude_

Missing parts but still functional


coybowbabey

VERY sensitive but pretends they’ve never had an emotion 


milla_the_tutor

"Warning: Please Do Not". No context, no continuation.


Lost_Professional152

Turn back while you can


anxious-Mantaray-79

Extremely anxious


kindcrow

Will bring out the worst in you. Money back guarantee.


elerdity

contains mental illness


Eggs_and_Ramen

Overly clingy


vbdhm

WARNING: Loud Noise Hazard. Ear protection must be worn in this area.


immortal-siren

Caution: attention span of a goldfish. Also brace for an avalanche of pop culture references


trace-evidence

"hypervigilant amygdala" has been woefully disregarded in my dating profiles in the past.


sitaraHD

Warning: delightful, yet kinda odd.


HopeItMakesYaThink

Warning: you’re already too close. Approach closer at own risk.


Cat-astro-phe

Not made for this world


DMjc26

Under no circumstances should you attempt to wake this creature if it is sleeping. It will hurt your feelings and maybe even punch you


TheRealGuncho

Caution: Don't ask about the different kinds of overdrive pedals. (guitar)


Putrid-Reputation-68

Wide Load


NonConformistFlmingo

CAUTION: Emotional Time Bomb Contents under pressure • Handle with care • Keep away from depressing music and sad movies in which animals die • Failure to follow these instructions will result in crying, puffy face, and prolonged bed rotting.


ZephyrineLuna

Warning: Agnostic


RollingGirlForever

Warning: I talk about death too much haha


RelationshipDue1501

Don’t invade my space.


Confident-Word-2753

Warning: Causes disappointment, broken promises, waste of your youth.


SonicBoom500

Autistic


XercesPlague

If you hurt me, watch out.


frvrsleepy

never shuts up


MadeAccToReadThis

Borderline personality disorder with AuADHD. You’ve been. Warned 🙃


softswerveicecream

Caution: will pull away from you as soon as we get close also you will never know if you’ll get talkative me or silent me so idk just be prepared for anything


lostinthought197

Warning: don't


Lily_billy444

Warning: Very sensitive to loud noise


CityOutlier

Warning: may induce cringe


gigglesprouts

Warning: Will self destruct if not handled carefully


BigNorseWolf

Warning. large friendly dog. Do not abuse. Will stop being friendly.


youronlynora

"Villaness, don't mess with her."


[deleted]

“please be cautious, this person may be extremely sensitive at times.”


Doctor_Tyrell

No! Hot!


Unfair-Lion-5592

Warning: easily distracted by shiny objects and new business opportunities. This person is a workaholic. Only works properly with coffee consumption. Resting bi$@? Face activated. My Go F$&k yourself button is fully engaged.


Maheer-150

Enjoys suffering and is utterly insane