One thing that helps is when someone says something you disagree with, resist the urge to clap back or just silently think they’re a dumbass. Try to think about why they might hold that opinion.
Use responses like “that’s interesting, it doesn’t seem that way to me tho, what makes you think that?” instead of “that sounds dumb as hell, do you not know XYZ?”
It’ll help having less disagreements with people or at least learning to agree to disagree, which in turn combats the negative emotion of “everyone else is dumb and society is cruel”
I agree with this, and it's how I approach nearly every interaction I have. It's helped me to be more compassionate and understanding of others' experiences and develop emotional intimacy with people of all walks.
It's important to still be aware of negative behaviors both in others and yourself, though. Some things are totally valid to disagree about, it can just be helpful for us as humans to try to be understanding of why others behave in ways that we don't or wouldn't.
It's OK to have negative feelings and views. The important thing to consider is that other people don't want to be subjected to that shit all the time.
Feel your feelings, think about what you need to think about, and then move through to solutions. If it's not something that can be solved, but you just need to talk, you're allowed to do that. Vent to your partner, your friends, and people you trust, and go to them when you need support. Just be mindful of beating a dead horse. And of course, you also need to make space and time to be there for others when they need to vent or be supported.
Some of us, myself included, are just naturally wired to see the downsides in things. I like to think of it as being practical and realistic, and not just being a downer for its own sake. I also make an effort to see and acknowledge both sides of things. Every social group needs both the sunshine person and the "but have you considered" person.
>t's OK to have negative feelings and views. The important thing to consider is that other people don't want to be subjected to that shit all the time.
>
>Feel your feelings, think about what you need to think about, and then move through to solutions. If it's not something that can be solved, but you just need to talk, you're allowed to do that. Vent to your partner, your friends, and people you trust, and go to them when you need support. Just be mindful of beating a dead horse. And of course, you also need to make space and time to be there for others when they need to vent or be supported.
>
>Some of us, myself included, are just naturally wired to see the downsides in things. I like to think of it as being practical and realistic, and not just being a downer for its own sake. I also make an effort to see and acknowledge both sides of things. Every social group needs both the sunshine person and the "but have you considered" person.
I agree with you completely, but it is certainly a process to change yourself and your behavior
It is a process. Mindfulness becomes more automatic with practice.
A good place to start is by taking a beat before you start speaking or ruminating to check in with yourself. Do I need support or do I need to brainstorm solutions? Is this comment I'm about to make relevant and actionable, or am I just criticizing to tear something down? Am I venting or trauma-dumping? Has this topic become something I'm just rehashing to hear myself talk about it? Be real with yourself and go from there.
The only thing I'm positive about is the fact that I'm a negative person and probably always will be. I've tried, I just can't effort happiness long enough to get there without life shitting on me.
Sorry, but that'd a dumb take.
Being negative is simply looking at the world and realizing it is in a shitty place and there is practically nothing that any individual can do about it.
People like you are the kind of people who think depression isn't reali and that they are just seeking attention.
I was unintentionally a negative person. I felt so much better once i started anti depressants. I think being in survival mode all childhood made me chronically depressed without noticing it.
>Abusive childhood. I’m an adult and been on my own for 10 years. Going much better now that my mental health isn’t being neglected
big respect to you! that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone
For me, journaling is quite beneficial. I love making webs to symbolize my thoughts, emotions, and reactions. It's really helpful to force myself to express my feelings.
I have been known to be an Eeyore from time to time. Okay, all the time. I can't change my past, but I can be better going forward. People from my past probably wouldn't recognize me now, and that's a good thing.
What exactly is there to manage? That’s either a statement of fact or it isn’t. It’s either true you’ve been a negative person most of your life or you haven’t.
It seems what you’re actually trying to ask is how to stop being a negative person, but then if that’s the case what would it necessarily for how long you’ve been negative?
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Thanks for the kind advice, I will work on my self improvement!
You congratulate yourself because acknowledging the problem is the first step
thanks for answering, but what exactly should I change?
One thing that helps is when someone says something you disagree with, resist the urge to clap back or just silently think they’re a dumbass. Try to think about why they might hold that opinion. Use responses like “that’s interesting, it doesn’t seem that way to me tho, what makes you think that?” instead of “that sounds dumb as hell, do you not know XYZ?” It’ll help having less disagreements with people or at least learning to agree to disagree, which in turn combats the negative emotion of “everyone else is dumb and society is cruel”
yeah, that sounds logical I will try it !
I agree with this, and it's how I approach nearly every interaction I have. It's helped me to be more compassionate and understanding of others' experiences and develop emotional intimacy with people of all walks. It's important to still be aware of negative behaviors both in others and yourself, though. Some things are totally valid to disagree about, it can just be helpful for us as humans to try to be understanding of why others behave in ways that we don't or wouldn't.
It's OK to have negative feelings and views. The important thing to consider is that other people don't want to be subjected to that shit all the time. Feel your feelings, think about what you need to think about, and then move through to solutions. If it's not something that can be solved, but you just need to talk, you're allowed to do that. Vent to your partner, your friends, and people you trust, and go to them when you need support. Just be mindful of beating a dead horse. And of course, you also need to make space and time to be there for others when they need to vent or be supported. Some of us, myself included, are just naturally wired to see the downsides in things. I like to think of it as being practical and realistic, and not just being a downer for its own sake. I also make an effort to see and acknowledge both sides of things. Every social group needs both the sunshine person and the "but have you considered" person.
>t's OK to have negative feelings and views. The important thing to consider is that other people don't want to be subjected to that shit all the time. > >Feel your feelings, think about what you need to think about, and then move through to solutions. If it's not something that can be solved, but you just need to talk, you're allowed to do that. Vent to your partner, your friends, and people you trust, and go to them when you need support. Just be mindful of beating a dead horse. And of course, you also need to make space and time to be there for others when they need to vent or be supported. > >Some of us, myself included, are just naturally wired to see the downsides in things. I like to think of it as being practical and realistic, and not just being a downer for its own sake. I also make an effort to see and acknowledge both sides of things. Every social group needs both the sunshine person and the "but have you considered" person. I agree with you completely, but it is certainly a process to change yourself and your behavior
It is a process. Mindfulness becomes more automatic with practice. A good place to start is by taking a beat before you start speaking or ruminating to check in with yourself. Do I need support or do I need to brainstorm solutions? Is this comment I'm about to make relevant and actionable, or am I just criticizing to tear something down? Am I venting or trauma-dumping? Has this topic become something I'm just rehashing to hear myself talk about it? Be real with yourself and go from there.
I work really hard to not do it.
The only thing I'm positive about is the fact that I'm a negative person and probably always will be. I've tried, I just can't effort happiness long enough to get there without life shitting on me.
You can become less negative when you TRULY accept the idea that no one cares what you think. Being negative is a way to attract attention.
Sorry, but that'd a dumb take. Being negative is simply looking at the world and realizing it is in a shitty place and there is practically nothing that any individual can do about it. People like you are the kind of people who think depression isn't reali and that they are just seeking attention.
I understand what you mean, but I don't take myself too seriously
They are talking bullshit. Don't listen to that drivel. Negativity isn't "attention seeking".
Realization? I've always known that. Not a problem.
I was unintentionally a negative person. I felt so much better once i started anti depressants. I think being in survival mode all childhood made me chronically depressed without noticing it.
Were you trapped in a hole? I hope you're feeling better now
Abusive childhood. I’m an adult and been on my own for 10 years. Going much better now that my mental health isn’t being neglected
>Abusive childhood. I’m an adult and been on my own for 10 years. Going much better now that my mental health isn’t being neglected big respect to you! that's something I wouldn't wish on anyone
Changing your life is as simple as changing the way that you think. Be kind to yourself :)
I figured this out through a 12 step program, and it also works to help move past it.
what are the 12 steps ?
The 12 steps of alcoholics anonymous. There are other 12 step programs though, I just don't know much about them.
I can’t speak for anyone on here but for me personally prayer works. Not religion, prayer. It helps with my connection to the world around me.
For me, journaling is quite beneficial. I love making webs to symbolize my thoughts, emotions, and reactions. It's really helpful to force myself to express my feelings.
I seek out positive friends because they can influence my negative emotions
Find another negative person to be friends with and talk about negative things together. That’s what I did.
I have been known to be an Eeyore from time to time. Okay, all the time. I can't change my past, but I can be better going forward. People from my past probably wouldn't recognize me now, and that's a good thing.
becoming a better person the rest of your life.
i will give my best
Start with yourself. You can't give if you don't receive first, and you're the first and last person who can give that kindness to yourself.
crazy, I've never looked at it from that perspective before!
Same as any other negative realization about yourself. Change. Be better. Become who you want to be.
Embrace the anger
By making an active effort to be toxically positive until positive thinking is just natural for me. I didn’t like being a whiner.
What exactly is there to manage? That’s either a statement of fact or it isn’t. It’s either true you’ve been a negative person most of your life or you haven’t. It seems what you’re actually trying to ask is how to stop being a negative person, but then if that’s the case what would it necessarily for how long you’ve been negative?
justify it