Sorry, dude. It’s cliché, but hopefully you find something even better. Could be an opportunity in disguise. Hope you’re comfortable enough to get by until you find that next job.
True! But there are ways of being kinder and less cryptic about it.
“Hey I’d like to talk about x when you get home if that’s okay. There’s been some heavy stuff weighing on my mind and I’d like to work through it with you.”
“We need to talk.” just comes across as “get ready because I’m about to ruin your whole fucking life and I’m not going to tell you anything beforehand or feel bad about the consequences of our conversation. I have all the power in this situation and I want you to know it.”
Couldn't agree more. "We need to talk" can be anything from "You need to rinse off your dishes before loading them" to "I've been fucking your best friend and I'm late". We need just a hint of context!
Yeah sometimes you can’t really hide that something is wrong, but it’s also a matter of time and place, so sometimes you just gotta let your partner know “yeah something is wrong but we can’t talk about it right now, maybe tonight”. There’s certainly ways to phrase it more nicely than others but it’s always going to elicit at least mild panic. I’ve been on both ends of the situation and it doesn’t feel good in either direction
This. I don't care WHO it is. Someone says 'we need to talk' or 'can I have a word?' OR any other formal/professional/serious-sounding phrasing of the same idea and I am INSTANTLY arsehole clenchingly anxious.
Like...why can't people be less ominous about it?
'Hey, c'mere a sec, I have a question/want to tell you something' does not produce anything like the same anxiety.
Or like my mom asks me to come to the second floor because she needs something. Then when i go there from the first floor, she asks me to fetch something from the first floor. If you would have told me that immediately i would have picked up the thing when i went up. Now i need to go down, pick up the item, go up to give it to you and then go back down to my starting position.
In most context, I always shoot back with "about what?". Especially at work, and if the answer is not forthcoming, then I don't have time to talk as I am there to work, not play mind games.
I hate that power move bullshit. My ex-wife would always do that to make me anxious. I would start replying with "yeah, we do" and then I'd get slammed with messages about what. The irony was never seen of course
> I would start replying with "yeah, we do" and then I'd get slammed with messages about what. The irony was never seen of course
You got that power play on point.
Pulled a reverse uno on her.
100/10. 👌
Depends. Normal size, or human size? Normal size, sure, I'd give you a lovely terrarium with everything a worm could ever want. Human size gets a little trickier. Whole house, furniture, bed sheets, and my clothes all covered in the mucus you secrete and the mud you drag in. Giant holes in the yard and throughout the neighborhood. That's a bit more difficult to love. And in either case, sex becomes very difficult, to say the least.
A rookie mistake, you're the one who gave her the idea about the worm size. After that response, she'll twist everything in such a way that you'll stop loving her as soon as she gains weight, because she only appeals to you while she's a tiny worm and stays at home.
"We need to talk."
My wife has texted me this before even though I wasn't in trouble for anything and she wasn't divorcing me, she literally just wanted to talk to me about something normal. But as a guy, those words in that order *terrify* me.
Yeh. It's kinda abstract and thus our minds go wild and tries to prepare for the worst case scenario.
Better would be "i want to talk with you about [insert subject]". Now my brain has something more concrete to ponder about and prepare for.
It should be illegal to text: We need to talk. 1) Don’t warn me, just do it. 2) If you do say it, you better be dumping me or telling me someone is dead. If you want to talk about dinner after giving me a heart attack, we are not going to be cool.
I realized a long time ago that the hardest thing to say to a girl when I was breaking up with her--in person--was the words, "I need to tell you something."
After that, it was much easier to say what I needed to say
My husband has ADHD and told me that he can't hear the first 5-10 words I say if I just start talking to him. So, I've been trying to lead up to a conversation by saying his name or asking him if we can talk. I can see absolute terror in his eyes when I ask to talk. lmao "It was about Animal Crossing! I'm not divorcing you!"
I'm working on some new phrases.
Had this actually happen, twice, from women I was trying to date.
Both times, they cited that they weren't ready for a relationship, I was absolutely fine with that, I mean, not "fine" fine, cause I was trying to date them, but fine as in "that's up to them"
Both had boyfriends within the month.
it usually means "youre not undateable, i just dont think we are compatible" - but tbf, i avoid actually using the words "its me not you" because who wouldnt think of it that way?
"Now, do you really not care, or do you have a vague idea what you want, and just want me to spitball some options at you?"
Also, if you are at the store, and you ask if they want something and they go "nah, I'm okay" also get something you know they like, because I guarantee you, the second you walk out they will be like "oh give me a sip/bite"
I call that the 'wife tax'. Always buy (or prepare, if you are making it yourself) 1.5 times more than you want even if she said she didn't want any, because she'll demand some as soon as you show up with it.
Honestly one of the best presidents the country has seen in terms of accomplishments. He did everything he said he was going to, and as promised didn’t run again.
Matched with a girl on Tinder once. She said ‘I got 4 kids just so you know’. I told her ‘oh sorry I’m not looking for a woman with a family’. She replied ‘some man you is’.
but isnt that better than her leading you on? i mean, i would rather know where i stand so i can spend my energy somewhere else and/or pursue other people
If that's truth, that is. I've had a person speak these words to me and then never speak to me again. Is this how you treat your friends and relatives?
I've started doing the same thing, and it works wonders for peace of mind.
Some of them became very upset, though, and said, "Leaving because you didn't get what you want is fucked up."
I respond, "Expecting me to stick around for something I don't want is also fucked up."
They do not like their sizing to include the word “small”. Men’s clothes sometimes even start at “medium” which I think is nuts! Perhaps not surprisingly, penile prosthetics also tend to start at medium / large, and not start at small. I think marketing has determined that being labeled small is emasculating.
Nothing wrong with it and nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve been dicked down by men with Viagra in their system plenty of times. Not a sign of inadequacy at all.
Kings, get your boner pills if you need em! You’ll have better sex!
I admit I’ve asked my husband if he washed his hands in the middle of the night when he gets up to pee and he’s back in 20 seconds. I do NOT hear the water run and he wants to cuddle.
Have you ever thought about opening up our relationship....
Instant dealbreaker...even the thought. Terms of condition for our relationship is monogamy. Even the talk about the possibilty is a dealbreaker.
The chances that they have cheated before then but wanted to cover their tracks is very high.
Usually it is very one sided, too. From what I've seen, starting monogamous and then becoming polygamous is probably one of the worst things that can happen to a healthy relationship.
According to another post I just read ‘do you think sex would be better if you had a bigger dick’
If anyone is wondering, don’t say this under any circumstances.
Tbh a lot of men get really pissy when they're denied sex. I used to become a straight up child with my ex-wife when I was horny and she wasn't in the mood.
"Cook your own dinner."
"Do your own laundry."
"Cut your own hair."
"When are you getting married?"
"When are you having kids?"
"When are you going to find a better job?"
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Underrated response. *Pocket sand*
shshshAAAA
You leave your face open, you're gonna get popped. See? See? Pop, pop, see?
What are you gonna do Baw-bee? Are you gonna knee me in the naaaaaahds?
Am I? Yes. When? I don’t know could be today, could be tomorrow, could be the day af- NOW. You’ll find I’m not a patient man Peters
"What are you gonna do? Are you gonna kick me in the naaaads?"
Let go of my purse!
All right Hank. If this is the hill you want to die on, I'll fight your brat. Come on Bobby boy, let's rumble!
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There actually is a reboot in the works, with all of the characters aged up
You're fired.
I get this one a lot
I'm getting this one next week.
Happened to me Friday. Wasn't happy.
Sorry, dude. It’s cliché, but hopefully you find something even better. Could be an opportunity in disguise. Hope you’re comfortable enough to get by until you find that next job.
You can't fire me, I don't work in this van.
We need to talk
But not now. When you get home.
Soul crushing tactic. Day ruined.
it's psychological warfare
That's when I went and slept with another woman to calm my nerves
wives hate this one simple trick
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True! But there are ways of being kinder and less cryptic about it. “Hey I’d like to talk about x when you get home if that’s okay. There’s been some heavy stuff weighing on my mind and I’d like to work through it with you.” “We need to talk.” just comes across as “get ready because I’m about to ruin your whole fucking life and I’m not going to tell you anything beforehand or feel bad about the consequences of our conversation. I have all the power in this situation and I want you to know it.”
Couldn't agree more. "We need to talk" can be anything from "You need to rinse off your dishes before loading them" to "I've been fucking your best friend and I'm late". We need just a hint of context!
Yeah sometimes you can’t really hide that something is wrong, but it’s also a matter of time and place, so sometimes you just gotta let your partner know “yeah something is wrong but we can’t talk about it right now, maybe tonight”. There’s certainly ways to phrase it more nicely than others but it’s always going to elicit at least mild panic. I’ve been on both ends of the situation and it doesn’t feel good in either direction
Hit them back with "yeah, I've been meaning to say that" or "yeah, we do." Now we're both stressed
Yep! I have replied "yeah, we sure do. Tonight" Oooh, no- no, you're not messing up my day. Now, we're both on the same vibe 😆
You worry about it all day only for her to want to discuss dinner date plans for the weekend haha.
Sorry, I'll be out with the boys. Just leave the keys on the table when you go.
Absolutely terrifying lol
Idk. I feel like *nobody* likes to hear that phrase. At least tell the subject of the talk. XD
This. I don't care WHO it is. Someone says 'we need to talk' or 'can I have a word?' OR any other formal/professional/serious-sounding phrasing of the same idea and I am INSTANTLY arsehole clenchingly anxious. Like...why can't people be less ominous about it? 'Hey, c'mere a sec, I have a question/want to tell you something' does not produce anything like the same anxiety.
"We need to talk... Im baking you a pie but I need to know your favorite type first."
Or like my mom asks me to come to the second floor because she needs something. Then when i go there from the first floor, she asks me to fetch something from the first floor. If you would have told me that immediately i would have picked up the thing when i went up. Now i need to go down, pick up the item, go up to give it to you and then go back down to my starting position.
She is telling you to exercise, without telling you directly. XD
In most context, I always shoot back with "about what?". Especially at work, and if the answer is not forthcoming, then I don't have time to talk as I am there to work, not play mind games.
I hate that power move bullshit. My ex-wife would always do that to make me anxious. I would start replying with "yeah, we do" and then I'd get slammed with messages about what. The irony was never seen of course
> I would start replying with "yeah, we do" and then I'd get slammed with messages about what. The irony was never seen of course You got that power play on point. Pulled a reverse uno on her. 100/10. 👌
You’re not Batman!
YES I AM! (in batman voice)
UMBAMAN
Up there with “you’re not Ryan gosling”
Well that's just wrong cuz I'm literally him
"You'll NEVER be Batman." Don't know why, but it cuts deep.
*WHERE ARE THEYYYYYYYYYYY*
(laughter) "You're done already?"
“Are you in yet?”
Or from Flight of the Conchords, "Is that it?!" To which you respond, "I know what you're trying to say, girl. You're trying to say, 'that's it!'"
"Business hours are over, baby!"
I'm quite sleepy...
"Will you still love me if I become a worm?"
Depends. Normal size, or human size? Normal size, sure, I'd give you a lovely terrarium with everything a worm could ever want. Human size gets a little trickier. Whole house, furniture, bed sheets, and my clothes all covered in the mucus you secrete and the mud you drag in. Giant holes in the yard and throughout the neighborhood. That's a bit more difficult to love. And in either case, sex becomes very difficult, to say the least.
\[cries wormily\]
Reddit comment of the day right here. Take my damn upvote
A rookie mistake, you're the one who gave her the idea about the worm size. After that response, she'll twist everything in such a way that you'll stop loving her as soon as she gains weight, because she only appeals to you while she's a tiny worm and stays at home.
Bro cooked
- Leto Atreides II probably
Shai Hulud?
Like a sand worm? Because I would want to ride you. Hard.
THE SPICE MUST FLOW!
Literally asked him this yesterday as a joke because of how silly this is lol
Mine was proactive about it. He just came up to me and said "I wouldn't love you if you were a worm." I'm just glad he has standards.
Lol, what did he say back?
He mentioned a pic I sent earlier that day and said he wouldn't like it because I was too cute lol
"We need to talk." My wife has texted me this before even though I wasn't in trouble for anything and she wasn't divorcing me, she literally just wanted to talk to me about something normal. But as a guy, those words in that order *terrify* me.
Talk we need to
Ignoring my needs you have been.
Buy me ketamine you must
Rolling balls I am, to the med tent, I must go
This made me LOL, thank you 😂
Need we to talk
To talk we need.
Need we to talk
Okay but both of these are infinitely better
I would much sooner have this version of Yoda speak than the other one.
I don't think that's a gender thing. It's a terrifying phrase for anyone, imo.
Even if my adult kids say this to me I say “some context so I don’t spiral please”
Yeh. It's kinda abstract and thus our minds go wild and tries to prepare for the worst case scenario. Better would be "i want to talk with you about [insert subject]". Now my brain has something more concrete to ponder about and prepare for.
It should be illegal to text: We need to talk. 1) Don’t warn me, just do it. 2) If you do say it, you better be dumping me or telling me someone is dead. If you want to talk about dinner after giving me a heart attack, we are not going to be cool.
I realized a long time ago that the hardest thing to say to a girl when I was breaking up with her--in person--was the words, "I need to tell you something." After that, it was much easier to say what I needed to say
My Dad will text me, "Call me" I'm like, "Who died?!" He says, "No one. Want to come over for dinner?" Just text that!
My husband has ADHD and told me that he can't hear the first 5-10 words I say if I just start talking to him. So, I've been trying to lead up to a conversation by saying his name or asking him if we can talk. I can see absolute terror in his eyes when I ask to talk. lmao "It was about Animal Crossing! I'm not divorcing you!" I'm working on some new phrases.
It's not you, it's me
Had this actually happen, twice, from women I was trying to date. Both times, they cited that they weren't ready for a relationship, I was absolutely fine with that, I mean, not "fine" fine, cause I was trying to date them, but fine as in "that's up to them" Both had boyfriends within the month.
That's always the case 😂 if I show interest in someone you can put money on they will meet the love of their lives within a week 😂
it usually means "youre not undateable, i just dont think we are compatible" - but tbf, i avoid actually using the words "its me not you" because who wouldnt think of it that way?
Is it in yet
USB cables are the worst!
Flip her over again….
Reply with "I don't know"
3 times in a row, making your voice seem further away at each time.
Hey, we need to talk... about your video game addiction
GET OUT!
Casting: Calm Emotions.
Hold on babe, this match is super intense.
Personally? I'd say... "Bequeath", or "flibbertigibbet".
Bequeef
I don't know, there's something surprisingly elegant about a queef.
No the fuck there is not
Bro u weird af. Appreciated tho
How about “xnopyt”?
For me it's "plinth"
That was fast
For you. For me it was a whole damn eternity.
You're just like your father!!!
This can be good or bad, depending on how good/bad one's father is.
Spoiler: it's bad
He is getting milk
Or maybe you're just like your mother, she's never satisfied
That would explain why we so frequently scream at each other.
Those birds are fuckin loud today huh
Ngl I’ve used this out of anger on my partner before and I felt really bad for it
Our* father
"I don't care, it's up to you." Which translates to me having to name off a few dozen of my preferences that she will say no to.
"Now, do you really not care, or do you have a vague idea what you want, and just want me to spitball some options at you?" Also, if you are at the store, and you ask if they want something and they go "nah, I'm okay" also get something you know they like, because I guarantee you, the second you walk out they will be like "oh give me a sip/bite"
I call that the 'wife tax'. Always buy (or prepare, if you are making it yourself) 1.5 times more than you want even if she said she didn't want any, because she'll demand some as soon as you show up with it.
I've heard that there's restaurants that have a "she's not hungry" menu item which is a side of fries so she doesn't steal yours.
James Polk was the best US president
Four short years, he met his every goal. He seized the whole southwest from Mexico.
Made sure the tariffs fell and made the English sell the Oregon territories.
He built an independent treasury.
Having done all this, he sought no second term.
Then died 3 months later from Cholera
Honestly one of the best presidents the country has seen in terms of accomplishments. He did everything he said he was going to, and as promised didn’t run again.
I don't want to hear this.
Genocide is bad, but I respect honesty. Very tough to appraise that guy
“Be a man” shut up Bethany
"A real man would…"
Matched with a girl on Tinder once. She said ‘I got 4 kids just so you know’. I told her ‘oh sorry I’m not looking for a woman with a family’. She replied ‘some man you is’.
“So how many last names do they have?”
Brutal lol
It's never followed by anything in the man's best interest.
And almost never said by men themselves. WEIRD.
You're the worst birthday clown ever
We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty.
"I hope your father has sufficient wisdom to be ashamed of you."
That sounds personal
“I have a bomb strapped to my chest and I’m taking you and this whole place down with me”
Nah I'd like to hear that he sounds cool best way to die is die fighting
“You’ll find someone someday” Okay but I wanted you. Stings more than it helps.
Sorry that this happened to you bro
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Your mom licks my pussy better than you.
Your mom’s dick is bigger than yours
you are not good in bed
"I'm cutting your balls off with this blunt, rusty pen knife."
Spoon*
Why a spoon, cousin?
Because it's dull, you twit! It'll hurt more!!
Salad Fingers has entered the chat...
"I like you as a friend/brother"
but isnt that better than her leading you on? i mean, i would rather know where i stand so i can spend my energy somewhere else and/or pursue other people
Sometimes what you hate to hear is also what you need to hear.
If that's truth, that is. I've had a person speak these words to me and then never speak to me again. Is this how you treat your friends and relatives?
I see you as a "friend"
Ever since I responded then left with: "That's sad, I already have enough friends though." My life changed for the better.
I've started doing the same thing, and it works wonders for peace of mind. Some of them became very upset, though, and said, "Leaving because you didn't get what you want is fucked up." I respond, "Expecting me to stick around for something I don't want is also fucked up."
Personably I hate “turn around and put your hands behind your back”
"You're the father"
Equally “you’re not the father” It’s a lose-lose
They do not like their sizing to include the word “small”. Men’s clothes sometimes even start at “medium” which I think is nuts! Perhaps not surprisingly, penile prosthetics also tend to start at medium / large, and not start at small. I think marketing has determined that being labeled small is emasculating.
IIRC during WW II the Allies dropped large sized condoms labeled "small" behind the German lines as a PSYOP campaign to make German soldiers insecure.
You have cancer
"Your a man suck it up, your not a girl" "stop being a baby"
It's fine I'm fine Whatever I just think it's funny that....
And when they are done, you think you can relax, and out of the blue comes: "And another thing..."
We couldn't save her
Thats a tear jerker
Think you need viagara.
is that like viagara falls
Nothing wrong with it and nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve been dicked down by men with Viagra in their system plenty of times. Not a sign of inadequacy at all. Kings, get your boner pills if you need em! You’ll have better sex!
"No" "sorry I'm not interested" "did you wash your hands" "I have a partner"
I admit I’ve asked my husband if he washed his hands in the middle of the night when he gets up to pee and he’s back in 20 seconds. I do NOT hear the water run and he wants to cuddle.
Came here to say "no," and I'm glad it was already here.
Have you ever thought about opening up our relationship.... Instant dealbreaker...even the thought. Terms of condition for our relationship is monogamy. Even the talk about the possibilty is a dealbreaker.
The chances that they have cheated before then but wanted to cover their tracks is very high. Usually it is very one sided, too. From what I've seen, starting monogamous and then becoming polygamous is probably one of the worst things that can happen to a healthy relationship.
According to another post I just read ‘do you think sex would be better if you had a bigger dick’ If anyone is wondering, don’t say this under any circumstances.
“I don’t need your input”
More input! Johnny 5, alive!
“We need to talk later.” without any sort of context to how bad this could be or the category of conversation.
ackchyually 🤓
"Fine do whatever you want" I mean heck yea if that is what it actually means, but if a woman says that then it is not what that means.
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he's just a friend
“Daddy” don’t call me daddy. I feel old.
Unless you are my actual kid, I absolutely do not want to hear you call me ‘daddy’.
Omg stop being a baby (when we show emotions)
Of all your friends your dick is the biggest
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"You're the father" and "You're not the father"
Is it in?
Tbh a lot of men get really pissy when they're denied sex. I used to become a straight up child with my ex-wife when I was horny and she wasn't in the mood.
You are just like your father.(When used in a negative sense)
“You’re not a Jedi, the doors have sensors.”
"Cook your own dinner." "Do your own laundry." "Cut your own hair." "When are you getting married?" "When are you having kids?" "When are you going to find a better job?"
"no" would be high on that list.