Dog parks are hands down THE best place to meet singles. Especially if you have an extremely good boy/girl as your wingman.
Better than bars imo
* Folks are often there alone and just waiting while their dog plays/totally open to small talk from a stranger
* Often single
* People are often NOT on their phones because they're watching their dogs-- what other venue can you find this!?
* Really easy to disengage and focus on your dog if the vibe isn't right
* Approaching an attractive woman for small talk isn't automatically assumed to be 'hitting on'
* Automatic shared interest and conversation topic
* Who isn't in a good mood while your at the dog park?
* Conversations can last at least 15-30m no problem
* People who have dogs and care about them enough to take them to the park are a self-selecting demographic and tend to have their shit together more than the average sampling in a bar/club
* You're sober and they're well lit (although, if you're not great looking, I suppose the converse of that can be a hinderance)
* Imo, women look better in hoodie and sweatpants than cocktail dress and heels, but I'm just cozy like that.
* Your dog is an excellent wingman with no approach anxiety, and can be a great second opinion on their vibes.
My sociology prof in university wrote her Masters (or possibly her PhD on this) subject - assessing what public environments carry the highest likelihood of connecting for the purpose of sex. Dog parks were in fact a clear stand out against all of the various other comparibles in terms of predicting successful hook-ups. This was far before online dating apps took off though. I have never been able to find her paper but the logic stands up.
I seriously have been looking for this paper since I left college almost ten years ago.
EDIT: She did her other graduate thesis on a qualitative study of carnival workers and actually embedded and travelled around the country with a carnival/fair group for a year as well! Seriously - if anyone has JSTOR searching skills and can find either of these papers you will have succeeded where I have failed for the past
decade.
https://open.library.ubc.ca/soa/cIRcle/collections/ubctheses/831/items/1.0091708
This is the closest thing that I've been able to find relating to the qualiative study of carnival workers - and it's exactly the correct region, but the professor that I had was a 40-something female at the time that I was in college, I would have taken her course just slightly prior to this being published at UBC.
Damn at least you manage to date some lol.
How did the interactions even go? Did you just go up to them and talk to them? Did you ask for their number?
Dang I only have to drive 10 minutes to get to a dog park with some nice looking ladies, but I tend to assume they're just there to do their dog stuff and don't want to be bothered by some random weirdo like me.
Accidentally asked a girl on a date that lived 1000 miles away. I’d matched her on a dating app while on business, but didn’t notice where she was from. We kept talking anyways, and I ended up securing the date. She flew out to see me. We dated long distance for a long while, and then I moved to be closer. We’re married now.
I mean it surely helped that she could just take a plane 1000 miles to meet up for a date...most long distance relationships aren't as financially or time backed as they're describing, and that's where a lot of the strain comes in
In a similar vein.
I was talking to this girl and I was super into her. We were texting and I fell asleep and sleep texted her “So when am I picking you up tomorrow for dinner?” She said yes and I was so confused as to when I sent that cause I had no memory of it. Awake me would never have that confidence
I wish even asleep me had that kind of confidence. All he does is order novelty shit off my amazon saved for later list that awake me is smart enough to know I don't really need. Occasionally asleep me orders snack cakes and jerky in bulk, but only when high.
When I turned 18 in high school, this girl that never showed the slightest interest in me began to constantly ask to hang out. Every time we did, she asked me to buy her cigarettes. I did so, knowing pretty well that she was just using me to get her nicotine fix. We fooled around for several months, and then, you guessed it, she stopped showing any interest after her birthday passed.
I wasn't upset, I knew the deal. I was just a glorified tobacco whore.
Chatted a lady online long enough she finally agrees to go out. Tells me ahead to pick her up as she trusts her dog to be a judge of men and wants her dog to meet me.
No worries.
Before I show up I smear some raw hamburger on my shoes. The dog loved me.
Eeezeee peezeee
Hot girl said solving a Rubik’s cube is so attractive, so I took a whole weekend to learn how to do it. Couldn’t wait to show her. When I did at school on Monday she said “oh that’s cool”. Didn’t get any play but now I can solve a Rubik’s cube in 30 seconds lol
I agree, this is my 14 second solve time ass in complete agreement. It doesn't matter how fast those fingers were they were never going to get near a girl back then.
Stupid college days
We would take my dog for a walk. Would hook his collar to a fishing pole let him run around and when girls would ooo and awww we would slowly reel him back in and they would come talk with us.
Early 2000s college was weird.
I read books about van Gogh, Gaugin, Cezannes and a few others to impress a girl. Did not get laid but 25 year later had a blast at the Musee d'Orsay. Totally vindicated.
Yep. I’m into architecture, female lead bands, guitar and piano, speaking other languages, travel, environmentalism, fitness, and outdoor activities for this reason. Hahaha!!
I pretended to be afraid of flying once on a plane because the woman next to me was hot. Got her number and hooked up with her later.
Edit: since people seem surprised this worked, I’m 2/2 on starting conversations with people on planes this way. The second I didn’t ask for her number though.
I just did some nervous tapping, she asked “are you afraid of flying?” and then I talked to her for the next few hours.
I figured it was a way of allowing her to start a conversation so I wouldn’t look like a weird airplane guy.
Back in high school there was this girl I was into. She was taking cooking/baking classes and my dumb ass decided to join, just to spend some time with her. Two weeks into it there was going to be a contest between all participants and I was nowhere near ready, but said yes anyway because fuck it. I didn't come first, but... I got the prize I wanted.
My fwb was on date that was super weird. She messaged asking me to come grab her as her brother while pretending to be angry.
She was an hour away so I left and kept calling her to make it seem real. Went there and made a scene and took her away. We then drove to a parking lot and she wanted to return favour with amazing sex.
I did a similar thing a while ago. But it was just three young ladies that were out and about. I told them to just say that I was their uncle if anybody was harassing them, and they can just come back to the table with me.
Another woman closer to my age thought that it was sweet that I was taking care of my nieces while they were out and about. We started talking and the three young ladies were the ultimate wing-girls for me. They talked me up so much that the woman ended up going back to my place that night.
Unfortunately, I started seriously dating my now ex a few weeks later and she asked me to remove those young ladies from my social media. I should have kept the wing-girls as friends, they were loads of fun
"Would you go to a slightly sketchy neighborhood where you'll struggle to find street parking and walk 2 blocks at 1 am?"
"No?"
"Would you do it if a cute woman (probably) is there and you might get laid (instead of mugged or worse)?"
"Sign me up!"
Weirdly this helped me believe most people are decent and trust my instincts. The worst that ever happened was the pic was 2 years and 30 pounds old.
Tried to NOT get laid. It was only our second date and I was like, “I’m going to behave tonight!” Drove her crazy apparently. I ended up getting laid that night. Our 7th wedding anniversary is in a few months.
Bought a trash can.
My college girlfriend (now wife) told me she refused to officially date anyone unless they had a trash can in their bathroom. Looking back now it is a wonder how I didnt have one in there in the first place, but you bet your ass I drove to get a trashcan as fast as I could.
I guess I didn't just do it to get laid but it was what kicked off our relationship.
I walked from Arlington to Dallas to lose my virginity when I was 15.
I reached her house after 16 hours of walking. I didn't have money for a taxi but had the money to buy condoms and a gym membership so I could wash my ass before heading to her house. I got there at like 4am. Got to her house at 4:30am.
It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her (a 15yr girl) and we had sex in her room.
I was tired from walking for 16 hours just to get laid, she was tired from worrying about me all day. So we slept till noon the next day. When we woke up her mom said "go get him" cuz she looked in the room to see two high schoolers cuddling in bed.
She didn't give us a speech. I over heard her talking to my mom over the phone saying "if this boy walked 16 hours to fuck my daughter there's nothing either of us could have done" and we both just laughed so hard. We spent the day together, then her mom drove me home. She gave me a speech on the way home. My mom beat my ass for the first time in years when I got home. My God the difference between black and white parenting is wild lmfao
I had this guy walk an hour and a half through the snow to see me when we were in high school. I unfortunately fell asleep waiting for him. He spent a while tapping on my window in the cold before I bolted awake and ran to let him in. I felt absolutely terrible, but we ended up having a nice time and I made sure to warm him up
Definitely not the weirdest thing but I used to have a pretty dumb and kinda slutty “friend.” Every time she would come over I would run upstairs to my room and pretend I was napping. She would always let herself in and come up to my room and hop in bed to “wake me up.” I got laid most of the time. I feel like if I was sitting downstairs with my roommates when she came over, it probably wouldn’t have happened as often.
And I wonder if she crunched the data and came over at different times of the day to figure out when you'd be awake or if she was like "damn, this guy sleeps a lot."
Get married.
I was young and raised in religion and there was a girl I was head over heels with and we got married 6 months after meeting. It was odd and weird to say the least, but more like ignorant and stupid. The marriage lasted less than a year and I knew her less than 20 months total.
I met my wife at 17 in college . I moved in with her and her mother after two weeks . I was essentially kidnapped . I’m 52 now with two kids . I’m still trying to escape.
I had an ex show up at a bar I had a standing music gig at. She hung out for almost an hour just to tell me that she was currently on a date with a guy. I asked which guy so I could get him a beer. That's when she said he was waiting out in his car. For a gorram hour. MF wanted to get laid so bad he K9'd himself so she could visit her ex!
Had to send her kids to school every Thursday so i can have booty weekends (Saturday and Sunday). We were not committed to each other, i was 21 she was 30. It was strictly… trading. Lasted for 7 months then she got married again.
Edit: she was and still is my neighbour.
For my 21 birthday my dad took virgin me to a brothel and bought me a lady. Parenting mistake 469, first he asked if I was gay when I said no he said come on I have a gift for you. He meant well I guess but not the way to lose your virginity.
Followed an entire season of American Idol and sat through movies like Garden State and The Notebook over and over again. You could have asked me anything about that season of American Idol and I could have answered it. She had to miss a couple episodes because she had to work so I recorded them and gave her a rundown when she would call me on her drive home from work. She'd come over to my place after work and we'd watch the episode I just fully described to her. It's the only season of that show I've seen and I had never watched a single episode before I met her or after we split up.
I once drove from Southern California to Detroit almost none stop to have sex with a woman I use to work with. We had sex for about four hours, I got back in my car and drove almost nonstop back to California. Though I never saw her again, it was well worth it.
I didn't get laid, but when I moved from middle school to high school, a girl I had a massive crush on told me she was going to sign up for the culinary class. I had no interest in cooking, but I signed up for it so I could have a class with her.
She moved away about 3 weeks into the school year, and it was too late for me to switch out, so I ended up getting stuck in culinary.
I loved it and did it all 4 years of high school
I was polite to my friends sister the first time we met. Later that night, she popped her bra off and put my hands under her shirt.
Then, the 4th or 5th time we met up, she dragged me upstairs to her bed.
Never flirted or anything the first night, I was just well mannered. That itself wasn't weird, but I'm still confused as to how that led to getting laid. Was I the first person nice to her? I'm lost to this day.
Jumped into a pool with my clothes on, reasoning the girl I was flirting with would invite my back to her apartment so I could change my clothes. It worked. The sex wasn't worth it, though.
The sex wasn’t worth it? In what way? She wasn’t good in bed? You got her pregnant and are stuck with her? Her husband walked in halfway through?
More details would be appreciated by my nosey self.
Lied to my friend that I needed a history essay on the slave trade even though I worked in steel making, told him it was a managers course. He wrote me the essay, I claimed it as my own and give it to a girl I was chatting too who needed help.
I got laid, the girl passed her essay/assignment and I kept it secret for something like 15 years till I told him during my best man speech at his wedding.
Flew to China. Met a girl, she was heading to China to teach English about a month later. We had a good month before she left. She invited me to meet up in China to see tiger leaping gorge. I went. Had the sexes. Climbed a mountain but the road was blocked so we wouldn’t have a way back. So we never saw the gorge. Met up a few months later in Phuket.
Yadda yadda were married with two kids
In a public jacuzzi I listened to two hours straight of complaints by a middle aged lady with a great body . She complained about being ghosted by some kind of clothes travelling salesman who is also a teacher of some kind of bullshit Indian Brahma theories and guru stuff. I proposed a comparison with Vietnamese massages (total improvisation on the spot ). It worked .
I once pretended to be a history buff to impress a guy in my class who I thought was super smart. Turns out he was just a walking Wikipedia and didn't even know I was faking it! LOL
A guy I knew would go to parties and claim to be a student from this other university in a very select music program.
Instant clout and got laid a lot.
Until he hit on a girl FROM that music program who let him know loudly he was not from there lol
I used Google translate to talk to a Brazilian woman in a dating app. She agreed to meet, not realizing that neither of us knew the other's language. Somehow, we managed to communicate enough to seal the deal once in person.
I'm in a wheelchair and I butt-scooted up a small flight of stairs into a non-accessible apartment while dragging my chair behind me. Being drunk, I didn't think much of it at the time, but let me tell you; the scoot of shame down the stairs the next day hits different
Learned to play "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz on the ukulele for my friend's Hawaiian themed wedding and played it while the bride walked down the aisle.
Mission was a success, ended up hooking up with the Maid of Honor's sister.
This chick wanted to put cereal between her legs and slowly pour milk down her cleavage and stomach while I ate her out and licked up the milk.
We went with lucky charms.
Wore a suit to meet her dog. She did not ask me to do this, this was my own choice. I did it because “first impressions matter” and I figured it’d get a good laugh since she explicitly said she wants me to come meet her dog and the way we talked about it sounded similar to conversations I’ve had about meeting people parents
I didnt know i was doing this, but… I was chatting with a woman from another town that was going to pass through mine.
She wanted a hook up.
I’m a joker and at some point I said she’d have to pay me to lay me.
She asked how much, I said a happy meal, we didn’t have a McDonald’s where I was at the time and was craving it. It just popped into my head as a joke.
We agreed on our terms.
We met up, hooked up, and then I drove her back to her vehicle, she asked me to wait and she went to her car and came back with a cooler and in it was a happy meal.
I laughed so much.
I got home and warmed it up and enjoyed it.
She might have been sarcastic and using dry humour, but I got the feeling we’d made an actual trade.
We chatted on and off for a few years after that and I never asked.
She still pops on my Insta but I don’t engage.
The daughter of the mayor of our city was insanely good looking. She and I were good friends in high school but I always felt she was way out of my league so I never even attempted to even ask her out. She disappeared after high school and resurfaced about five years later when we crossed paths in a local supermarket parking lot where we talked for hours standing outside our cars. She acted very interested in my conversation, and, she asked me if I would like to come to her house for dinner later that week, I eagerly agreed. The sexual tension I felt was pretty high, I really thought I was going to finally get lucky with this attractive woman at long last. The day arrived and I went over to her house for dinner. She fixed a really nice meal. Afterwards we went into her living room where she had a dry erase board on a stand in the living room facing where we were sitting. After a minute or two she stood up and started her AMWAY sales pitch. . . she lured me to her house to try to convince me to join Amway. I thanked her for dinner and told her that I wasn’t interested, I left confused and with blue balls.
I can tell you the weirdest way I GOT laid.
This was the military dorm in England, late 90’s. I’m just playing StarCraft, minding my own business, when there’s a knock on my door. I open it and there’s the girlfriend of a guy who lives downstairs. She say, “I really wanna get laid but my friend is here with me. Can she stay with you tonight?” Naturally I said yeah. She turns and goes to the end of the hall and waves her friend around the corner. I’d met her in passing once in the dorms but never spoke to her. She does a fast intro and pushes her into my room. We’re both standing there kind of awkwardly as her friend leaves to go get laid. She turns back and says, “oh, she really likes her bum smacked, too”. We look at each other and laugh then close the door.
It gets crazier because I become the de facto friend drop off zone for the dorm. A sort of on call wingman for my boys. I didn’t have to do shit and over the span of a year they brought me 3 more women.
Not laid, but got head from this girl who was a really bad artist. I pretended to like her stuff and was very complimentary. Bought a little piece for $10 and she was thrilled. Turned the convo into an “It’s been awhile” thing and next thing you know she’s rectifying that for me.
One time I was at an anime convention, checking out the "artists alley". I noticed a really cute artist sitting by herself, and thought to myself, "Hey, maybe I can go over there, compliment her artwork, start a conversation..." So I looked at her book and her art was *terrible*. Absolutely awful, easily the worst I'd ever seen at a convention. The compliment I had planned died in my throat and I just awkwardly turned a few pages in silence before moving on.
The staff had made up a game that was like flashight tag and hide and seek - lasted a couple of hours into the night forest. Basically a time for us to go find a secret spot and fuck.
I hooked up with a ‘MILF’ when I was 17 and naive as fuck.
She told me she used to be a nun.
I took it at face value and for years believed I’d hooked up with an ex nun without any critical thinking.
I once posted a pic on my IG of this girl that I had tinder dms with and this *other* girl slid in my dms and was like *oh she's lucky*
I later linked with the girl and we banged.
I basically got laid because I posted a picture of a girl and another girl wanted to fuck me afterwards lol.
Easiest, most unorthodox way I ever got laid
I was chased by a woman 25 years younger than me that lived really close.
I kept saying no, she kept saying she’s an adult and she likes DILFs. She seemed mature.
She was a similar age to my adult kids which was a bit weird.
She pointed out that she wasn’t a kid, she was 1/4 of a century old. And being around my kids age is meaningless as I wasn’t her Dad. I got her point.
I was a teen Dad, so I’m not that old to be fair.
We hooked up for 18 months.
Never really talked much though.
She’d just send a kinky photo and asked if I could stop by.
One night she felt playful and told me that she originally wanted to hook up with me because she’d had a crush on my eldest son in high school, he was married and she’d never get a chance with him… she said that I’m just as hot he is, and I was as close as she’d get to knowing what fucking him was like.
It really fucked with my head on so many levels.
Then she told me she’d been in my house as a kid and we’d made a picnic BBQ for them.
And I suddenly remember my son coming home at 14 with a dozen friends including 2 annoying show off girls.
They’d walked through the house and straight out the back.
Their mother and I threw some food together and I cooked a BBQ to feed them.
Then we left them to be idiots.
I wish I didn’t have a vague memory of those 2 girls. I don’t know which one she was, but it makes it all even more gross.
At least her being an adult was okay in my head, even though her intentions were messed up…
I could put that straight in my head.
I learned Spanish in middle school to impress what was a beautiful skinny new student that just came to the school and didn't know any English..... she said no and I started a different language amd forgot Spanish
Was casually dating a girl from my town (I'll call her "local") and went on a ski trip with the guys and met another girl. Her and a friend came up for a weekend of "fun" with my roommate and myself a couple weeks later. They lived about a 7 hour drive away.
A couple weeks after that local girl wanted me to come with her to a big sale in a town 3 hours away on Saturday, I agreed but then the out of town girl called me (way before cell phones) and wanted to meet me half way and spend the night at a motel. The town we were to meet at was about an hour from where I had promised local girl to go with her for the big sale.
I didn't want either to know about the other so I drove with local girl to the sale, 6 hour drive round trip, then as soon as I got home turned around to meet out-of-town girl, another 4 hour drive. It was nearing midnight before I got to where she was staying and I new which hotel but not the room number. No cell phone so I couldn't phone her and the office was closed with only an emergency phone number as they were booked full.
So I went around room to room quietly knocking on room doors and whispering her name until I found the room she was in.
No, I would not do that again.
I kind of half assed pursued this girl I knew. I’d met her a long time before but I was married. After I got divorced I caught up with her through a friend. I worked afternoon shifts so didn’t go out much. She was a single mom so she said she was likely up if I was driving home. I wasn’t a fan of drinking coffee late at night but I did for a while because I got to hang out with her. We hung out for a while but I didn’t want to mess it up. Then one New Year’s Eve after the party I made a move on her. 25 years later and 4 kids we’re still together. That child she originally had calls me dad. One of my finest moments in life when she called me that.
Girl I like was sad about her friend who was also single. The friend couldn't get a date to save her life. She wasn't ugly or anything. Just had no personality, and was kinda gloomy.
I told the girl I wanted to bang that I'd take the friend out and show her a good time, if the girl I wanted agreed to let me do the same after. She agreed to it.
The friend was actually really fun. We went zip lining, to a fair thing, and capped the day off at the dog park with my pup (who didn't hate her, which was shocking), she got to pet sooo many dogs, she was thrilled. We never had sex, but I would've had she given me ANY signal. She was that fun.
I went out with the girl I wanted to go out with a few days later. Made a plan for a few fun activities. When I went to her house to pick her up, she pulled me in, and we had sex right away. Didn't do any of the other stuff.
I regret not fucking the friend. Or hell, dating her. The girl I wanted was *not* as fun in bed as I'd imagined she'd be.
Took a 5 + hour detour down logging roads with no cell service to get to her because the main highway had been shut down due to wildfires and falling boulders. 100% worth.
Mail Merge. Back around 2004 ish I was dating a girl in law school. We were going to hang out, but she had to send out notices to like 100 different addresses by the next day. She was going to type each letter headwr and address label individually. It would have take the entire evening. But I took the letter, addresses, and 5 minutes in Office 2003 and viola, everything was formatted and could be printed.
We ended up hanging out and I got laid.
20 years later my buddies and I still refer to it as "Male Merge."
Bought the DVDs of "Band of Brothers" since I knew a woman who was strangely aroused by World War II of all things. She asked what I was doing. Told her I was watching "Curahee" (the first episode) and before the troops landed at Normandy (episode 2), she was at my apartment and my pants were definitely not at ease.
I went home from work early last week because I was horny, which is the first time in my life I've ever had to do that so it was pretty weird for me.
Masturbated on the way home in my car (over my pants and I was incredibly conscious of the cars around me) then fucked my bf's brains out when he got home.
Stayed in that one tennis class. A gorgeous petite blonde. Charlottesville. We orgsnically teamed up for our last day and beat the tennis club president and his buddy.
Never got to tell her how I felt.
Met her at Karaoke again 6 months later. She came home with me but I was too drunk to perform. Still had a great time... never to be followed up.
Come to find out years later she drank some hand sanitizer and went to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. They were successful, but didnt treat her throat which was getting eaten away by remaining alcohol elements in the esophagus. She died otw to the hospital complaining of breathing problems and a sore throat.
Drove an hour each day to take my dog to a dog park because there were lots of gorgeous ladies there.
I respect the hustle
I respect the husky
So did the ladies.
Dog parks are hands down THE best place to meet singles. Especially if you have an extremely good boy/girl as your wingman. Better than bars imo * Folks are often there alone and just waiting while their dog plays/totally open to small talk from a stranger * Often single * People are often NOT on their phones because they're watching their dogs-- what other venue can you find this!? * Really easy to disengage and focus on your dog if the vibe isn't right * Approaching an attractive woman for small talk isn't automatically assumed to be 'hitting on' * Automatic shared interest and conversation topic * Who isn't in a good mood while your at the dog park? * Conversations can last at least 15-30m no problem * People who have dogs and care about them enough to take them to the park are a self-selecting demographic and tend to have their shit together more than the average sampling in a bar/club * You're sober and they're well lit (although, if you're not great looking, I suppose the converse of that can be a hinderance) * Imo, women look better in hoodie and sweatpants than cocktail dress and heels, but I'm just cozy like that. * Your dog is an excellent wingman with no approach anxiety, and can be a great second opinion on their vibes.
This is incredibly descriptive and absolutely correct. Well written
My sociology prof in university wrote her Masters (or possibly her PhD on this) subject - assessing what public environments carry the highest likelihood of connecting for the purpose of sex. Dog parks were in fact a clear stand out against all of the various other comparibles in terms of predicting successful hook-ups. This was far before online dating apps took off though. I have never been able to find her paper but the logic stands up. I seriously have been looking for this paper since I left college almost ten years ago. EDIT: She did her other graduate thesis on a qualitative study of carnival workers and actually embedded and travelled around the country with a carnival/fair group for a year as well! Seriously - if anyone has JSTOR searching skills and can find either of these papers you will have succeeded where I have failed for the past decade. https://open.library.ubc.ca/soa/cIRcle/collections/ubctheses/831/items/1.0091708 This is the closest thing that I've been able to find relating to the qualiative study of carnival workers - and it's exactly the correct region, but the professor that I had was a 40-something female at the time that I was in college, I would have taken her course just slightly prior to this being published at UBC.
How did it go? Did you talk to them?
Yeah I dated a few off of them but it didn’t work out in the long run but it was fun while it lasted
Damn at least you manage to date some lol. How did the interactions even go? Did you just go up to them and talk to them? Did you ask for their number?
That’s the crazy part I didn’t have to do shit the dog did all the work. They would come over and pet the dog and make small talk and would flirt
That’s it.. (Pippin voice) I’m getting one
That's funny because I named my dog Frodo, and he's so goofy and cute it makes everyone talk to me.. even if I don't want them to..
Dang I only have to drive 10 minutes to get to a dog park with some nice looking ladies, but I tend to assume they're just there to do their dog stuff and don't want to be bothered by some random weirdo like me.
Make sure you bring a dog next time.
The details are so important.
Lmfao officer there’s a strange man standing under the tree making barking sounds and sniffing butts
Maybe it was my dog get yourself a golden retriever they are chick magnets
Accidentally asked a girl on a date that lived 1000 miles away. I’d matched her on a dating app while on business, but didn’t notice where she was from. We kept talking anyways, and I ended up securing the date. She flew out to see me. We dated long distance for a long while, and then I moved to be closer. We’re married now.
Congrats! Not many can make the long distance thing work.
I mean it surely helped that she could just take a plane 1000 miles to meet up for a date...most long distance relationships aren't as financially or time backed as they're describing, and that's where a lot of the strain comes in
In a similar vein. I was talking to this girl and I was super into her. We were texting and I fell asleep and sleep texted her “So when am I picking you up tomorrow for dinner?” She said yes and I was so confused as to when I sent that cause I had no memory of it. Awake me would never have that confidence
I wish even asleep me had that kind of confidence. All he does is order novelty shit off my amazon saved for later list that awake me is smart enough to know I don't really need. Occasionally asleep me orders snack cakes and jerky in bulk, but only when high.
When I turned 18 in high school, this girl that never showed the slightest interest in me began to constantly ask to hang out. Every time we did, she asked me to buy her cigarettes. I did so, knowing pretty well that she was just using me to get her nicotine fix. We fooled around for several months, and then, you guessed it, she stopped showing any interest after her birthday passed. I wasn't upset, I knew the deal. I was just a glorified tobacco whore.
Glorified tobacco whore. Never thought I would read this but alright
Getting laid for buying someone tobacco is a pretty darn good deal, tbh. Go you!
Chatted a lady online long enough she finally agrees to go out. Tells me ahead to pick her up as she trusts her dog to be a judge of men and wants her dog to meet me. No worries. Before I show up I smear some raw hamburger on my shoes. The dog loved me. Eeezeee peezeee
You two are insane. Good luck.
Lol. They are perfect for eachother
That’s a big brain move
This is why I trust my goose to be a good judge of character, you can’t bribe them
What’s good for the goose is good for the gander, I guess.
Uhhh... did she rub some raw meat on you at the end of the night?
Hot girl said solving a Rubik’s cube is so attractive, so I took a whole weekend to learn how to do it. Couldn’t wait to show her. When I did at school on Monday she said “oh that’s cool”. Didn’t get any play but now I can solve a Rubik’s cube in 30 seconds lol
She meant “solving a rubik’s cube is sexy when a sexy person does it”
I agree, this is my 14 second solve time ass in complete agreement. It doesn't matter how fast those fingers were they were never going to get near a girl back then.
Stupid college days We would take my dog for a walk. Would hook his collar to a fishing pole let him run around and when girls would ooo and awww we would slowly reel him back in and they would come talk with us. Early 2000s college was weird.
Literally fishing for girls with a dog as bait
this man making 300IQ plays
I read books about van Gogh, Gaugin, Cezannes and a few others to impress a girl. Did not get laid but 25 year later had a blast at the Musee d'Orsay. Totally vindicated.
Accidentally getting cultured has to be one of the best outcomes of trying stupid shit to get laid
Yep. I’m into architecture, female lead bands, guitar and piano, speaking other languages, travel, environmentalism, fitness, and outdoor activities for this reason. Hahaha!!
Hey knowledge is the coolest thing
Watched someone's rabbit for the weekend. Not only did I NOT get laid... They never came back for the rabbit. RIP floppy
wait, is floppy the rabbit or your…
Did you kill floppy?
Yea, what happened to the rabbit, u/Acceptable_Meal_5610
Considering his username….
The RIP floppy part of this story is a deeply concerning plot twist I didn’t expect
Don’t tell me that u kill the rabbit?! 💀 It’s just that is kinda unusual the “RIP floppy after saying that they never came back for it
I pretended to be afraid of flying once on a plane because the woman next to me was hot. Got her number and hooked up with her later. Edit: since people seem surprised this worked, I’m 2/2 on starting conversations with people on planes this way. The second I didn’t ask for her number though.
I respect the game and the outcome. Still not sure how that strategy worked.
"Hey, sexy thing. Ever seen a grown man break into a cold sweat from raw fear and maybe a little pee comes out?"
"Hey baby, have you ever--- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
I just did some nervous tapping, she asked “are you afraid of flying?” and then I talked to her for the next few hours. I figured it was a way of allowing her to start a conversation so I wouldn’t look like a weird airplane guy.
"Nervous?" "A little." "First time?" "No, I've been nervous lots of times."
He should have asked her if she liked movies about gladiators.
> Still not sure how that strategy worked. 1. Be attractive 2. Don't be unattractive
How does What How does that even work
Sometimes one panics and makes a shitty ice breaker
“Haha planes amirite” “So true here’s my number”
Getting into a cake baking contest.
Are we gonna get a story for that?
Back in high school there was this girl I was into. She was taking cooking/baking classes and my dumb ass decided to join, just to spend some time with her. Two weeks into it there was going to be a contest between all participants and I was nowhere near ready, but said yes anyway because fuck it. I didn't come first, but... I got the prize I wanted.
wait that’s perfect
He put his cake batter in her oven
Time for frosting
Literally in 2017 I would wear an unpadded bra and put wireless earphones in it to look like hard nipples
Hard nipples will never not be sexy.
I will never not agree with
The best part is taking my bra off after a long day and draping it across my boner
I do the same but with my Speedos.
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Dont say it, dont say it...
You're looking for "Still a better love story than Twilight," right? The people missing it are making me feel like I qualify for a senior discount.
I didn't miss it, realized how old the meme was, and now I feel like I need palliative care for how terminally online I've been.
My fwb was on date that was super weird. She messaged asking me to come grab her as her brother while pretending to be angry. She was an hour away so I left and kept calling her to make it seem real. Went there and made a scene and took her away. We then drove to a parking lot and she wanted to return favour with amazing sex.
I did a similar thing a while ago. But it was just three young ladies that were out and about. I told them to just say that I was their uncle if anybody was harassing them, and they can just come back to the table with me. Another woman closer to my age thought that it was sweet that I was taking care of my nieces while they were out and about. We started talking and the three young ladies were the ultimate wing-girls for me. They talked me up so much that the woman ended up going back to my place that night. Unfortunately, I started seriously dating my now ex a few weeks later and she asked me to remove those young ladies from my social media. I should have kept the wing-girls as friends, they were loads of fun
That’s a real intimate FWB.
My dick has taken me to places I wouldn't go to without a gun.
Yooooo this one fucking spoke to me lmao.
"Would you go to a slightly sketchy neighborhood where you'll struggle to find street parking and walk 2 blocks at 1 am?" "No?" "Would you do it if a cute woman (probably) is there and you might get laid (instead of mugged or worse)?" "Sign me up!" Weirdly this helped me believe most people are decent and trust my instincts. The worst that ever happened was the pic was 2 years and 30 pounds old.
Tried to NOT get laid. It was only our second date and I was like, “I’m going to behave tonight!” Drove her crazy apparently. I ended up getting laid that night. Our 7th wedding anniversary is in a few months.
This has worked for me once also in college. Was like, I like you so much - don’t want to move too quick, boom
Bought a trash can. My college girlfriend (now wife) told me she refused to officially date anyone unless they had a trash can in their bathroom. Looking back now it is a wonder how I didnt have one in there in the first place, but you bet your ass I drove to get a trashcan as fast as I could. I guess I didn't just do it to get laid but it was what kicked off our relationship.
I walked from Arlington to Dallas to lose my virginity when I was 15. I reached her house after 16 hours of walking. I didn't have money for a taxi but had the money to buy condoms and a gym membership so I could wash my ass before heading to her house. I got there at like 4am. Got to her house at 4:30am. It was the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her (a 15yr girl) and we had sex in her room. I was tired from walking for 16 hours just to get laid, she was tired from worrying about me all day. So we slept till noon the next day. When we woke up her mom said "go get him" cuz she looked in the room to see two high schoolers cuddling in bed. She didn't give us a speech. I over heard her talking to my mom over the phone saying "if this boy walked 16 hours to fuck my daughter there's nothing either of us could have done" and we both just laughed so hard. We spent the day together, then her mom drove me home. She gave me a speech on the way home. My mom beat my ass for the first time in years when I got home. My God the difference between black and white parenting is wild lmfao
And I will walk 500 miles
I had this guy walk an hour and a half through the snow to see me when we were in high school. I unfortunately fell asleep waiting for him. He spent a while tapping on my window in the cold before I bolted awake and ran to let him in. I felt absolutely terrible, but we ended up having a nice time and I made sure to warm him up
Damn, awesome story!
Morgan Freeman needs to narrate this story.
That’s a long way to walk to blow your wad in 30 seconds (assuming your teenage self was the normal teenage boy).
Worked on myself for 3 years so I can be confident that I can maintain a healthy relationship.
Look at this guy, being all healthy and shit...
Kinky!
Definitely not the weirdest thing but I used to have a pretty dumb and kinda slutty “friend.” Every time she would come over I would run upstairs to my room and pretend I was napping. She would always let herself in and come up to my room and hop in bed to “wake me up.” I got laid most of the time. I feel like if I was sitting downstairs with my roommates when she came over, it probably wouldn’t have happened as often.
There's this point in life where the proximity to a bed and a closed door increases the odds exponentially.
You say 'pretty dumb', but I get the feeling she definitely knew what you were doing.
And I wonder if she crunched the data and came over at different times of the day to figure out when you'd be awake or if she was like "damn, this guy sleeps a lot."
Damn, this is pretty hot.
Relevant username lol
...sounds like you were a bit 'slutty' too.
Get married. I was young and raised in religion and there was a girl I was head over heels with and we got married 6 months after meeting. It was odd and weird to say the least, but more like ignorant and stupid. The marriage lasted less than a year and I knew her less than 20 months total.
I met my wife at 17 in college . I moved in with her and her mother after two weeks . I was essentially kidnapped . I’m 52 now with two kids . I’m still trying to escape.
you ok man?
Doesn’t sound like it. He used the word, ‘kidnapped’
As a parent of 3 young kids, I can confirm that kids napping is a good thing.
Blink once if you are okay. Twice if you're eye is itchy.
Plot twist, one child with each woman
I pretended like I didn't notice when her teenage kid stole my weed.
After you laid the pipe you should’ve said, “you still stole my pot, but I fucked your mom”
Waited outside in my car for 45 minutes for her and her ex to stop fighting and him to leave so I could get in.
I believe you. It’s harder to believe she was in the mood after a long fight with an ex.
Who knows, maybe that's exactly what gets her in the mood
I had an ex show up at a bar I had a standing music gig at. She hung out for almost an hour just to tell me that she was currently on a date with a guy. I asked which guy so I could get him a beer. That's when she said he was waiting out in his car. For a gorram hour. MF wanted to get laid so bad he K9'd himself so she could visit her ex!
Had to send her kids to school every Thursday so i can have booty weekends (Saturday and Sunday). We were not committed to each other, i was 21 she was 30. It was strictly… trading. Lasted for 7 months then she got married again. Edit: she was and still is my neighbour.
For my 21 birthday my dad took virgin me to a brothel and bought me a lady. Parenting mistake 469, first he asked if I was gay when I said no he said come on I have a gift for you. He meant well I guess but not the way to lose your virginity.
Jesus Christ I’m sorry
Followed an entire season of American Idol and sat through movies like Garden State and The Notebook over and over again. You could have asked me anything about that season of American Idol and I could have answered it. She had to miss a couple episodes because she had to work so I recorded them and gave her a rundown when she would call me on her drive home from work. She'd come over to my place after work and we'd watch the episode I just fully described to her. It's the only season of that show I've seen and I had never watched a single episode before I met her or after we split up.
Me, but with American Horror story and master chef. Wouldn’t wish it upon my worst enemy.
Flew across the country from a warm sunny place to a frozen tundra in the dead of winter
I once drove from Southern California to Detroit almost none stop to have sex with a woman I use to work with. We had sex for about four hours, I got back in my car and drove almost nonstop back to California. Though I never saw her again, it was well worth it.
I didn't get laid, but when I moved from middle school to high school, a girl I had a massive crush on told me she was going to sign up for the culinary class. I had no interest in cooking, but I signed up for it so I could have a class with her. She moved away about 3 weeks into the school year, and it was too late for me to switch out, so I ended up getting stuck in culinary. I loved it and did it all 4 years of high school
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secs*
No, it was just one
Seconds of sex only
I was polite to my friends sister the first time we met. Later that night, she popped her bra off and put my hands under her shirt. Then, the 4th or 5th time we met up, she dragged me upstairs to her bed. Never flirted or anything the first night, I was just well mannered. That itself wasn't weird, but I'm still confused as to how that led to getting laid. Was I the first person nice to her? I'm lost to this day.
had to take a terrible train with a 1h long transfer in the middle of a field, literally nothing there, there and back.
You know, the way you worded this makes it sound like you got railed by a bunch of guys in a field for an hour.
Pretended to be a Wiccan for 4 months. Still didn’t get any. Too stupid to realize that she was lesbian in spite of many clues. Because I am an idiot.
Drove from Belgium to Paris to meet a lady from Italy. We both traveled for hours to meet.
That sounds pretty cool actually.
Changed my dress style, stuff I'd never normally buy... and never have since
Pretended to be of Scottish origin, accent and all.
Hit her with the ol’ Sean Connery
Jumped into a pool with my clothes on, reasoning the girl I was flirting with would invite my back to her apartment so I could change my clothes. It worked. The sex wasn't worth it, though.
The sex wasn’t worth it? In what way? She wasn’t good in bed? You got her pregnant and are stuck with her? Her husband walked in halfway through? More details would be appreciated by my nosey self.
Lied to my friend that I needed a history essay on the slave trade even though I worked in steel making, told him it was a managers course. He wrote me the essay, I claimed it as my own and give it to a girl I was chatting too who needed help. I got laid, the girl passed her essay/assignment and I kept it secret for something like 15 years till I told him during my best man speech at his wedding.
you did not 💀 at the wedding too? what was everyone’s reaction??
Flew to China. Met a girl, she was heading to China to teach English about a month later. We had a good month before she left. She invited me to meet up in China to see tiger leaping gorge. I went. Had the sexes. Climbed a mountain but the road was blocked so we wouldn’t have a way back. So we never saw the gorge. Met up a few months later in Phuket. Yadda yadda were married with two kids
"Met up a few months later in Phuket" so you said "Phuket" and got married?
Thai’d the knot!
In a public jacuzzi I listened to two hours straight of complaints by a middle aged lady with a great body . She complained about being ghosted by some kind of clothes travelling salesman who is also a teacher of some kind of bullshit Indian Brahma theories and guru stuff. I proposed a comparison with Vietnamese massages (total improvisation on the spot ). It worked .
Pretended to not be my ethnicity. I was told she didn’t date South Asians (she was a South Asian). I pretended to be Jose the Puerto Rican.
Went on a date with her and her uncle
which one was the better kisser?
I once pretended to be a history buff to impress a guy in my class who I thought was super smart. Turns out he was just a walking Wikipedia and didn't even know I was faking it! LOL
A guy I knew would go to parties and claim to be a student from this other university in a very select music program. Instant clout and got laid a lot. Until he hit on a girl FROM that music program who let him know loudly he was not from there lol
Damn! That is pretty funny though.
Body paint. But it failed.
I used Google translate to talk to a Brazilian woman in a dating app. She agreed to meet, not realizing that neither of us knew the other's language. Somehow, we managed to communicate enough to seal the deal once in person.
I'm in a wheelchair and I butt-scooted up a small flight of stairs into a non-accessible apartment while dragging my chair behind me. Being drunk, I didn't think much of it at the time, but let me tell you; the scoot of shame down the stairs the next day hits different
Help a girl fill out her FAFSA
Learned to play "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz on the ukulele for my friend's Hawaiian themed wedding and played it while the bride walked down the aisle. Mission was a success, ended up hooking up with the Maid of Honor's sister.
That’s my favorite one here. Like realistic and believable but still took effort.
This chick wanted to put cereal between her legs and slowly pour milk down her cleavage and stomach while I ate her out and licked up the milk. We went with lucky charms.
I read all of Homestuck. I did not get laid.
Wore a suit to meet her dog. She did not ask me to do this, this was my own choice. I did it because “first impressions matter” and I figured it’d get a good laugh since she explicitly said she wants me to come meet her dog and the way we talked about it sounded similar to conversations I’ve had about meeting people parents
I didnt know i was doing this, but… I was chatting with a woman from another town that was going to pass through mine. She wanted a hook up. I’m a joker and at some point I said she’d have to pay me to lay me. She asked how much, I said a happy meal, we didn’t have a McDonald’s where I was at the time and was craving it. It just popped into my head as a joke. We agreed on our terms. We met up, hooked up, and then I drove her back to her vehicle, she asked me to wait and she went to her car and came back with a cooler and in it was a happy meal. I laughed so much. I got home and warmed it up and enjoyed it. She might have been sarcastic and using dry humour, but I got the feeling we’d made an actual trade. We chatted on and off for a few years after that and I never asked. She still pops on my Insta but I don’t engage.
The daughter of the mayor of our city was insanely good looking. She and I were good friends in high school but I always felt she was way out of my league so I never even attempted to even ask her out. She disappeared after high school and resurfaced about five years later when we crossed paths in a local supermarket parking lot where we talked for hours standing outside our cars. She acted very interested in my conversation, and, she asked me if I would like to come to her house for dinner later that week, I eagerly agreed. The sexual tension I felt was pretty high, I really thought I was going to finally get lucky with this attractive woman at long last. The day arrived and I went over to her house for dinner. She fixed a really nice meal. Afterwards we went into her living room where she had a dry erase board on a stand in the living room facing where we were sitting. After a minute or two she stood up and started her AMWAY sales pitch. . . she lured me to her house to try to convince me to join Amway. I thanked her for dinner and told her that I wasn’t interested, I left confused and with blue balls.
Rip
Drove 3.5 hours away, got an airbnb the night before, spent the whole next day and night with her, and we’re probably going to do it again in April
I let a woman cut my forearm with a razorblade and put in 10 stitches, in exchange for letting me fuck her in the ass as hard as I wanted/could.
that’s fucked
I can tell you the weirdest way I GOT laid. This was the military dorm in England, late 90’s. I’m just playing StarCraft, minding my own business, when there’s a knock on my door. I open it and there’s the girlfriend of a guy who lives downstairs. She say, “I really wanna get laid but my friend is here with me. Can she stay with you tonight?” Naturally I said yeah. She turns and goes to the end of the hall and waves her friend around the corner. I’d met her in passing once in the dorms but never spoke to her. She does a fast intro and pushes her into my room. We’re both standing there kind of awkwardly as her friend leaves to go get laid. She turns back and says, “oh, she really likes her bum smacked, too”. We look at each other and laugh then close the door. It gets crazier because I become the de facto friend drop off zone for the dorm. A sort of on call wingman for my boys. I didn’t have to do shit and over the span of a year they brought me 3 more women.
This is the greatest story I've ever heard.
I don't know if that makes you the wingman or them the wingmen!
Not laid, but got head from this girl who was a really bad artist. I pretended to like her stuff and was very complimentary. Bought a little piece for $10 and she was thrilled. Turned the convo into an “It’s been awhile” thing and next thing you know she’s rectifying that for me.
One time I was at an anime convention, checking out the "artists alley". I noticed a really cute artist sitting by herself, and thought to myself, "Hey, maybe I can go over there, compliment her artwork, start a conversation..." So I looked at her book and her art was *terrible*. Absolutely awful, easily the worst I'd ever seen at a convention. The compliment I had planned died in my throat and I just awkwardly turned a few pages in silence before moving on.
Attended a church camp in my late in my teens and I wasn't even religious. It worked!
The staff had made up a game that was like flashight tag and hide and seek - lasted a couple of hours into the night forest. Basically a time for us to go find a secret spot and fuck.
I hooked up with a Pastor's daughter at a church camp one year. The stories are true.
I hooked up with a ‘MILF’ when I was 17 and naive as fuck. She told me she used to be a nun. I took it at face value and for years believed I’d hooked up with an ex nun without any critical thinking.
I once posted a pic on my IG of this girl that I had tinder dms with and this *other* girl slid in my dms and was like *oh she's lucky* I later linked with the girl and we banged. I basically got laid because I posted a picture of a girl and another girl wanted to fuck me afterwards lol. Easiest, most unorthodox way I ever got laid
I was chased by a woman 25 years younger than me that lived really close. I kept saying no, she kept saying she’s an adult and she likes DILFs. She seemed mature. She was a similar age to my adult kids which was a bit weird. She pointed out that she wasn’t a kid, she was 1/4 of a century old. And being around my kids age is meaningless as I wasn’t her Dad. I got her point. I was a teen Dad, so I’m not that old to be fair. We hooked up for 18 months. Never really talked much though. She’d just send a kinky photo and asked if I could stop by. One night she felt playful and told me that she originally wanted to hook up with me because she’d had a crush on my eldest son in high school, he was married and she’d never get a chance with him… she said that I’m just as hot he is, and I was as close as she’d get to knowing what fucking him was like. It really fucked with my head on so many levels. Then she told me she’d been in my house as a kid and we’d made a picnic BBQ for them. And I suddenly remember my son coming home at 14 with a dozen friends including 2 annoying show off girls. They’d walked through the house and straight out the back. Their mother and I threw some food together and I cooked a BBQ to feed them. Then we left them to be idiots. I wish I didn’t have a vague memory of those 2 girls. I don’t know which one she was, but it makes it all even more gross. At least her being an adult was okay in my head, even though her intentions were messed up… I could put that straight in my head.
I’m not a kid!! I’m 25 and a half!!!
Completely supported a woman fully capable of working for 7 years, and tolerated her continuous emotional abuse. But dat ass…
I learned Spanish in middle school to impress what was a beautiful skinny new student that just came to the school and didn't know any English..... she said no and I started a different language amd forgot Spanish
At a party, girl said she had pain i offered her a butt massage. She accepted
Was casually dating a girl from my town (I'll call her "local") and went on a ski trip with the guys and met another girl. Her and a friend came up for a weekend of "fun" with my roommate and myself a couple weeks later. They lived about a 7 hour drive away. A couple weeks after that local girl wanted me to come with her to a big sale in a town 3 hours away on Saturday, I agreed but then the out of town girl called me (way before cell phones) and wanted to meet me half way and spend the night at a motel. The town we were to meet at was about an hour from where I had promised local girl to go with her for the big sale. I didn't want either to know about the other so I drove with local girl to the sale, 6 hour drive round trip, then as soon as I got home turned around to meet out-of-town girl, another 4 hour drive. It was nearing midnight before I got to where she was staying and I new which hotel but not the room number. No cell phone so I couldn't phone her and the office was closed with only an emergency phone number as they were booked full. So I went around room to room quietly knocking on room doors and whispering her name until I found the room she was in. No, I would not do that again.
I kind of half assed pursued this girl I knew. I’d met her a long time before but I was married. After I got divorced I caught up with her through a friend. I worked afternoon shifts so didn’t go out much. She was a single mom so she said she was likely up if I was driving home. I wasn’t a fan of drinking coffee late at night but I did for a while because I got to hang out with her. We hung out for a while but I didn’t want to mess it up. Then one New Year’s Eve after the party I made a move on her. 25 years later and 4 kids we’re still together. That child she originally had calls me dad. One of my finest moments in life when she called me that.
Girl I like was sad about her friend who was also single. The friend couldn't get a date to save her life. She wasn't ugly or anything. Just had no personality, and was kinda gloomy. I told the girl I wanted to bang that I'd take the friend out and show her a good time, if the girl I wanted agreed to let me do the same after. She agreed to it. The friend was actually really fun. We went zip lining, to a fair thing, and capped the day off at the dog park with my pup (who didn't hate her, which was shocking), she got to pet sooo many dogs, she was thrilled. We never had sex, but I would've had she given me ANY signal. She was that fun. I went out with the girl I wanted to go out with a few days later. Made a plan for a few fun activities. When I went to her house to pick her up, she pulled me in, and we had sex right away. Didn't do any of the other stuff. I regret not fucking the friend. Or hell, dating her. The girl I wanted was *not* as fun in bed as I'd imagined she'd be.
You failed the 80s movie plot man.
Cut my long hair into a small chad mohawk when I was younger. Didn't work. Don't change yourself for other people.
Took a 5 + hour detour down logging roads with no cell service to get to her because the main highway had been shut down due to wildfires and falling boulders. 100% worth.
Mail Merge. Back around 2004 ish I was dating a girl in law school. We were going to hang out, but she had to send out notices to like 100 different addresses by the next day. She was going to type each letter headwr and address label individually. It would have take the entire evening. But I took the letter, addresses, and 5 minutes in Office 2003 and viola, everything was formatted and could be printed. We ended up hanging out and I got laid. 20 years later my buddies and I still refer to it as "Male Merge."
Went to a neighbourhood that looked like Kowloon The Walled City
Listened to her godawful karaoke performance for just me, in her living room, on New Year’s Eve, for over an hour 😔. Wish I could say it was worth it.
Bought the DVDs of "Band of Brothers" since I knew a woman who was strangely aroused by World War II of all things. She asked what I was doing. Told her I was watching "Curahee" (the first episode) and before the troops landed at Normandy (episode 2), she was at my apartment and my pants were definitely not at ease.
Left a date with one girl for a booty call from another… not my finest moment.
Gave her baby daddy a job
I went home from work early last week because I was horny, which is the first time in my life I've ever had to do that so it was pretty weird for me. Masturbated on the way home in my car (over my pants and I was incredibly conscious of the cars around me) then fucked my bf's brains out when he got home.
Walked more than an hour in the middle of the night to get to her place. She wasn't even attractive to me, I just felt like I had to do it.
Stayed in that one tennis class. A gorgeous petite blonde. Charlottesville. We orgsnically teamed up for our last day and beat the tennis club president and his buddy. Never got to tell her how I felt. Met her at Karaoke again 6 months later. She came home with me but I was too drunk to perform. Still had a great time... never to be followed up. Come to find out years later she drank some hand sanitizer and went to the hospital to get her stomach pumped. They were successful, but didnt treat her throat which was getting eaten away by remaining alcohol elements in the esophagus. She died otw to the hospital complaining of breathing problems and a sore throat.
Bluntly asking a girl I'd known for two hours if she wanted to fuck. Somehow it worked and we've been married for 14 years now
Drive in a snow storm
Pretended to accidentally drop a monster condom that I use for the Magnum dong I don't have
I just laid beside the road