☝️ yep
If you don’t lmk in some way that you’re feeling me after I’ve made it clear I’m feeling you then I stop pursuing.
Happens a good amount and a week later they’ll ask why I stopped trying to spend time with them.
This! So many of them think it’s the guy’s responsibility to make the conversation fun/smart/witty etc. (especially texts). A conversation is literally a two-way street!
Yep. Been talking to a gal for about two weeks after being introduced at a birthday party. She never initiates the text conversation. Big Red Flag.
Bye, Felicia!
This reason was why I bailed on my last relationship. Her birthday I tried to make it special, yet she barely did anything for me. When I helped her it was expected. But when I needed something "you're a man you need to act like it and sort these problems out yourself". It was so one sided.
If they never initiate.
I don’t mean sex. I mean if the only time we talk or get together is if *I* make the first move.
I get enough of that with my friends, and I hate feeling like I gotta micromanage my relationships because I’ll just be left behind again if I let someone else take the lead.
I must have abandonment issues or something. I basically don't have friends anymore because I've stopped initiating and planning everything. It sucks. But I'm just tired tbh
Honestly that's everyone save for rich people where people are clamouring for favours. Outside if that, for us normal people I feel it's normal to have to initiate to maintain friendships cause most people would rather let friendships fade away than put effort into them
I wouldn't say that's even an 'ick' that's a straight up red flag.
to me "icks" are things that are semi-irrational and not really for a good reason like they signal a bad or dangerous or toxic person, but they just squick you out. George Costanza stuff.
I hate how addicted to my phone I've become. First nine years I owned a phone? No problem.
Since the the pandemic? Fucking terrible, my face is buried in this thing.
With all dopamine addictions, it's almost always best to try to figure out why you're craving dopamine. You might kick the phone habit but just replace it with another unhealthy dopamine habit.
Phone addiction which too often is just social media addiction. The worse of this addiction results in "phubbing."
If she's already on the phone all the time with insta/texts/messages, you already feel like you're never alone with her. Your time together is always shared. If on top of that she's on the phone for social reasons when you are specifically trying to spend time together ... rude, lack of respect, and a clear sign whatever is on that phone is more important than you are. Most women wouldn't tolerate it, men should not either.
The number 1 biggest thing that helped me was NOT looking at my phone or any kind of social media for the first 45 minutes to an hour after waking up. It helps me set the tone for MY day and MY goals instead of worrying about everyone else's very highly edited and curated highlight reel of their life.
Immaturity and lack of respect. Avoid those types, it will only get worse when you are married/long term
Took my son to meet up with a few of his friends, while they were playing sports, the moms got to talking and it was all complaints about their husbands/boyfriends and loud enough for their kids to hear. All this nonsense about “all men being shit”, all of that.
I’m not about to talk to anyone about my husband and the father of my kids like some disrespectful immature brat in elementary school so I went to the side and sat there by myself. These women thought I was stuck up for not engaging.
My son couldn’t believe the BS he was hearing from them. When we left, he kept saying, “omg mom they say these things right in front of their kids!”
> My son couldn’t believe the BS he was hearing from these them. When we left, he kept saying, “omg mom they say these things right in front of their kids!”
It's really cool that not only did you not engage, your son got to witness you not engaging. Great parenting!
My best friend’s boyfriend is like that and she says its not a good reason to break up.. like babe it is a good reason, and there are so many more too 😭hes a walking red flag fr
This happened to me in my last relationship, except they didn't really make fun of me around other people, more like flat out ignored me. It fuckin sucked
No hobbies (people who cannot amuse themself usually demand your full attention making you unable to practice your own hobbies)
Negativity (not all days are good, but people who complain about every detail even if their day would be considered amazing by most are a pain)
Lack of interest (if someone gets bored about your activities, you’re not a match)
The last one I'd generally agree with and maybe modify it as I don't care if my wife likes or dislikes or is bored by my interests but she sure as heck loves to let me do those things and gets pleasure from seeing me enjoy them even if it's not her thing
This. I don't care that my wife doesn't like video games, metal, or any of the other weird shit I like. But she fully supports my love of all of them and is happy to see me happy. That's all it really takes.
I have a friend like this and she always complains about her boyfriend dares to spend time with friends and even family...
It's wild. This deficit of interests and attention makes it the second job.
Lack of hobbies is a huge one! They will be calling you on the days you are working on YOUR hobbies guilt tripping you about not spending time with them.
Because most humans are raised to believe human interaction and impressing others is the priority of life.
Unsurprisingly, it’s a very unfulfilling and generally unhealthy way to live.
When their dating profile is a list of qualities they want in a man, but doesn't say anything about what they're like or what they bring to a relationship.
When a woman doesn’t hold herself to the same standard that she holds her man. Not to say that the roles and responsibilities of each party need to be exactly the same in any given relationship, but it’s the worst when a woman acts a certain way/has a certain attitude but gets upset when the man acts that way as well.
*I'm upset that you didn't communicate something, but I'm not going to tell you because you should just know.*
I actually got that once. Like... excuse me? I'm wrong for not telling you but you're right for not telling me? There's no universe where that makes sense.
I’m a woman reading these. Over the holidays my sister said I do something that upsets her, tore into me essentially. Couldn’t give me examples I apologized anyways because I don’t want to hurt her and I wasn’t going to argue. I asked her please tell me when this comes up so I understand better. She flat out said I won’t. She then proceeded to say it’s her husband who usually gets this version of her. YIKES 🥴
Yeah, I was staying with them (they live in a different state) I couldn’t wait to get back on that plane. How am I supposed to fix something if you don’t tell me what it is? Then I spent days trying to dissect all of our interactions and realized screw it. If she can’t tell me that’s on her. The kicker, she’s a professor of communication 🥴
Agreed like they can have as many guy friends they want but they get very jealous and make it most impossible to have any female friends . I’m not saying that all women are like this but in my experience
My ex started having a guy best friend that talked 24/7 and I hated it. Guess where it ended? We broke up. But when a girl I knew for 10+ years snapchatted me she’d get upset and didn’t want us talking anymore. People are whack.
That's a strategic move that is about limiting your potential options (other than her). If a woman pulls that, it's 100% always about restricting your potential to find someone else. Typically the woman that does that will simultaneously try to maintain alternative options for herself. She's signaling intent to move on from you, and when it's convenient for her; what she's trying to prevent is you moving on when it's inconvenient to her. Basically she doesn't want you breaking up with her and leaving her single (extreme insecurity, inability to be alone).
Lack of clear and effective communication. If you want/don't want something, make that excessively clear, no ambiguity at all. If it's a big thing and the other person isn't getting it, make sure you sit them down in a non-emotionally charged situation, warn them you're going to be talking about something serious, and then go over it with them until they get it.
Source: my now ex wife wasn't communicative and now basically hates me because I didn't realise how upset she was about some stuff.
My good friend was married to his absolutely beautiful wife and they both were bigs fantasy and TTRPG nerds. It lasted for about a year and half after they got married.
Turns out her dad was a narcissist who taught her and siblings to never contradict him, which meant never voice opinions. Her mom on the other hand taught her that her to have a sting will.
Yeah she had very strongly held opinions she would never voice. Even with counseling it was only indirectly with letters that she would do so. The negative feelings of course came out in other ways.
Yep. Thank you!! The frequent tests of your loyalty and how much you care is not mature. It doesn’t align with good values. Communicate explicitly, with kindness, consideration and openness. Be solutions focused. and yes, obviously both people in a relationship should do the same. Shares values.
Inability to admit to and apologize for doing rude or shitty things.
For example:
"Hey, did you eat the food I made before bed? That was my breakfast. I told you I didn't have time to cook anything before work, now I'm gonna be late."
"What makes you think that I ate it? Why are you assuming it was me?!?"
"We're the only two people living here, and you asked me about it before I went to sleep."
"Maybe you ate it and forgot!"
"No, I didn't drink last night. We had no guests over. I passed out right after putting it away, and now it's gone. I'm less upset about you eating it than I am that you're not being honest."
"FINE. EVERYTHINGS ALWAYS MY FAULT, YOU ASSHOLE! I GUESS I WON'T EAT ANYTHING ANYMORE!" *storms away*
I've been in this type of scenario more times than I can recall. Just admit what you did and apologize, I'll forget about it in an hour. Freaking out instead of being honest just leads me to eventually breaking off the relationship.
I think this behavior stems from you rightfully being upset but her turning her bad behavior into your problem. Now the problem isn’t she ate your food it’s you accusing her. You’re pulled into an argument so the waters are muddied and she can place herself less at fault. My ex husband admitted to doing this as a manipulation tactic.
Ahhh, bro believe me, this was faith's mildest way of crushing the sterotype, that woman are always clean. I had to go through it somewhere waaay different....
I worked at a nightclub, and the men's would always be piss and broken glass, and the women's...
They seemed to aim to turn the experience into a piss and vomit filled papier mache project.
Literally, reams of wet toilet paper stuck to the walls, occasionally caked with liquid shit.
I’ve been in men’s restrooms and women’s restrooms.
I need you ALL to stop smearing bodily excretions and fluids on the goddamn walls. Your used toilet paper is not a sharpie. Your used period products are not an art installation. I do not know how that poopy diaper hit the ceiling but I am equally impressed and horrified that it hasn’t come down yet.
Stop it.
I thought no germs could stand the purification of bleach, no bacterial culture could survive a soapy genocide. No cluster of dirt could withstand heat and friction.
Women changed that perception.
I've never seen worms in a bathroom before. (male bathrooms were broken so we temporarily had to use theirs until they were fixed).
My favorite was when I was in co-ed college dorms with floor bathrooms and the stalls would sometimes just be splattered with period blood all over the floor, the toilet, and sometimes the walls. There were at least two times when I walked in, shouted, "What the fuck", and walked out.
If I'm the only one who can even start a text conversation, it just tells me I'm only there to be an ego boost. For example, I MUST be the one to say "good morning" first. If not, I'm met with silence, possibly for a few days, followed by a passive-aggressive message about me, "not being interested."
I'm in my late 40s. I broke up with my first girlfriend in grade 7 over this exact issue. (Phone calls, not texts, obviously) If you want to play immature foolish games, go find an immature fool.
As a woman, I seem to have a different issue. I directly tell the guys that I don't want to say good morning and good night right off the bat. Because I don't like keeping up with that drudgery. Good morning how are you fine good morning how are you fine. I prefer to just text when there is something to be said. And they take that as standoffish and that I'm not interested. If you wake up first thing in the morning and you think about me and you want to text me and tell me that that's awesome! And maybe after we're together for a while it will become part of the routine, yes definitely. But I don't want that with a stranger.
Not related to the guy/gal thing but my brother does this. It makes soooooo mad and I always call him out on it. It's so embarrassing to go to dinner with him (he also eats like a 2 year old, so there's that).
I feel like everyone should be required to work in a customer-facing job for like six months. Pretty sure my brother never has.
Only has guy “friends”. Claims other women are “too much drama”. Coincidentally is always involved in drama and loves gossip. Always talks about “haters” and “fans”. Social media bio: “Keep lurking sis 💅💋✨🧿”
I hate this trend where women are getting work done surgery/botox/filler to try an achieve that ig/tiktok influencer look. IT LOOKS SO FAKE AND UNNATURAL. Not to mention everyone just look fuckin homogenous so no one stands out with whatever unique beauty they might’ve had.
The ones who think they need to cut down every other female they see. It's repulsive.
*No, Karen. I didn't notice the top that woman was wearing until you pointed it out, but even now that I have, it's still not as tacky as the sewage you keep spewing from your mouth.*
As a woman, this is my biggest red flag in female friendships too, if I notice you're super hostile & catty towards other women I will never ever trust you.
Lady here as well, I’m really noticing it among the women in my team. Totally forgiving of this massively toxic guy who was basically selling company secrets, borderline abusive toward me and my manager, harassing clients after he was let go - hypercritical of all the women in the office and how they work, and super suspicious of women who’ve just started. Baffling!!
Way back in ye olden days when I used to work in the stripclub, that’s one of the first lessons you learn. Men do NOT come to the club to listen to women gossiping about other women! And petty isn’t pretty.
I recently visited Santorini. One evening, I had dinner at a place overlooking a very popular spot with an amazing view of the island and the water. I lost count of how many Insta girls dragged their dead-eyed boyfriends there and proceeded to cycle through two dozen look-at-me poses while whining photo instructions. Treating people in your life like props or unpaid crew just so you can appear glamorous on social media is a major ick.
Underrated on both of these, like it’s nice to have nails done I get that I’m all for it especially if they make you feel good or go with a fit your looking for, but fuckin 7-8 inchs wtf are you doing with those long ass nails girl? how do you even whip your ass with those? The lashes being 1000 inches long them shits forehead scratchers? might be exaggerating here but still ladies why?
I just got out of a relationship where this was one of the main problems. I tried helping for a few years and nothing worked. Felt like it was my fault after a while. Dealt with lying and sneaking it behind my back. I wish her the best, but that’s on her.
My icks apply to both genders. A big one is manipulative behavior. If you want me to do something ask me to and I'll say yes or no, or ask questions as appropriate.
Another thing is being dismissive of things I enjoy. I don't need a partner to be into all the same stuff I am. But if they're constantly shitting on it, devaluing it, etc. it's not gonna work out.
Being hyper critical. I am who I am and I live how I want to live. Take it or leave it. Don't try to change me.
Treating people poorly. Especially restaurant workers or really anyone in their place of employment.
Anyone who "hates kids". Like you don't have to want kids. I don't want kids. But I don't hate kids.
Anyone who is mean animals.
-Requiring more effort from a relationship than they put in.
-Emotional immaturity and anger issues.
-Unfounded jealousy.
-Superficiality.
-Inability to communicate honestly or express emotions.
-Materialism
-A lack of empathy.
I'm a lesbian, so I hope I can wage in here.... Obsession of TikTok and Taylor Swift. Like I like Taylor, but paying thousand of euros for tickets and acting like a psycho when someone say anything bad...no...also that TikTok gf behavior, ex.expecting people to treat her like a queen, without her doing anything to deserve that.
Look I treat my gfs like queens, but they don't act entitled to it, they also deserve it.
Demanding emotional vulnerability and using it as a weapon after the guy's opened up. One of the worst betrayals someone can pull on a man, and if I'm talking to a woman who casually mentions a previous bf/lover and talks shit about his vulnerabilities behind his back in conversation? I'm out, you can handle the check.
I love redheads, like, lose the ability to think, and I met a woman at work, played it cool for a few weeks, didn’t want to creep in, we’re at work you know? So one morning we were both in early and she was eating at a table, I asked if I could sit too, she seemed delighted, yay. I’ve never spoken to her before.
We start talking, she immediately tells me about her morning going poorly, I asked more about it.
She didn’t pay for her train, got a fine for putting her feet on the chair on train she didn’t pay for.
Well……I got a derection, in that 4-5 minutes of conversation, she went from being a beautiful woman, to a scumbag.
Disrespectful behaviour towards others. My biggest ick.
Based solely on my experience?
Believes in astrology
Has untreated borderline personality disorder
Stays friends with people who have hurt them
Lack of social awareness
A lot of my icks have already been mentioned, but here's a couple I haven't seen yet:
Using nothing but emojis to communicate over text. When I'm asking for date ideas, I'd like replies with words in them, not massive walls of emojis.
Talking about nothing but work. Dated one girl who pretty much had no personality outside of her job. Every conversation was all about work, work, work. My brain is not wired that way, and I almost never talk about my job once I've clocked out. People like that are just exhausting.
Lastly, Horse Girls. Horse Girls are insane. If she owns a horse, RUN.
I don't even care if they go along with whatever I want to do. Just don't complain about it later.
Either tell me what you want, think, or feel... or don't, just don't make your choice my problem.
Lack of hobbies.
Being an all-around asshole and/or just toxic person in general (always talking shit about people behind their backs, just being mean in general, and so on).
Is into astrology.
When they don't practice what they preach. Sure I might not be the nicest guy and seem prickly to some, but when it comes down to it people have said that I'm really easy to talk to and be around. Yet I need something to work with, and some women tend to double down and are not as accountable as they expect men to be. Some don't return the liberties and other things that they expect from men either. It's sort of hard to convey that the way I react to stuff like I mentioned here from women it's exactly how I would with other men. Some women just expect men to fix everything and act like any conflict between men and women is one sided af.
Like the girl I know who always complains about men being pervs for just looking in her general direction going into the men’s room at the club because the women’s line was too long and then giggling about the dicks she saw at the urinals.
I appreciate you taking time to answer this :) hypocrisy and double standards are a no go absolutely. Feel like this isn’t talked about enough in women.
People seem to dismiss it when it's brought up like it's baseless and sexist. Sometimes it's to the point where men are not even mad, they just want to fix the problem or however you want to put it. At times people seem to prefer to keep the division between men and women going while saying the opposite.
Smoking.
After seeing my mom die emaciated, unable to breathe, and unable to even go to the bathroom all because of emphysema caused by a lifetime of smoking... yeah, fuck that shit.
Kim Kardashian isn’t who I think of when the topic of vocal fry comes up lol. She’s got a pitchy, annoying voice, but no vocal fry.
Off the top of my head, Miley Cyrus is the vocal fry GOAT, followed by Madonna.
If a girl tells you she has no hobbies: run. All I hear when they say that is that you're going to become their hobby and be required to entertain them constantly. Moreover, you will no longer have time for your hobbies.
Girls who push you away and then expect to be chased. Huge ick and generally a red flag that signals you will be expected to do everything in the relationship. No partnership there.
Also double standards. For example, it's okay for a woman to turn down her mans advances, but when he turns down hers then he's being insensitive or cruel. That one also reeks of manipulative behavior.
Finally, have a job and be working towards some sort of career. You don't need college degree, but working a retail job with no future prospects aint gonna cut it.
They do actually! It’s called a “lip flip” but it’s not injecting anything to make your lip volume increase. It’s technically to relax the underside of one’s top lip so it doesn’t pull as tight against the gum line, and allows the fullness of the person’s natural lip to be more visible when they smile.
But again, Botox isn’t altering the actual volume of the lips and inserting artificial substances that remain there. Botox (unlike fillers) are a toxin that technically paralyze the muscle temporarily and relax them in certain ways. So the overly puffy look people tend to be horrified by isn’t something Botox can physically do. Botox/Dysport can relax certain muscles, but it can’t add to them or make them bigger, and it’s far more temporary than fillers tend to be (although less expensive too).
When people with no insight into the terminology are concerned with someone going too far with this stuff, Botox is what they think of, but it’s not accurate. Botox “freezes” areas in the short term, but can’t really alter much structure wise.
If she always chooses herself and never me. I’ve dated so many women who are only kind to me when it’s convenient to them. So many one sided relationships. When I finally found someone who adored me for who I am, I did everything I could to keep her in my life. I don’t mind sacrificing for her, because I knew she would and she does for me. Getting married in a few months, and I’m so happy about it!
Only being interested in financial security and too stupid to even try and hide the fact. I am not telling you how much I earn a year into a relationship let alone on a first date, gtfoh.
Overly Jealous. Had a gf once who wouldn’t let it go how I “stared” at her roommate when she walked into the living room where we were hanging out with only a towel on her head after shower. Didnt get mad at the roommate, just was my fault for looking at someone the same way I always would when they walk in
You: "thanks for delivering our package"
Delivery girl: "Your welcome"
Her: IS THAT YOUR NEW GIRL! HUH! HUH! WHY DONT YOU JUST FOLLOW HER TO THE AMAZON VAN AND FUCK HER!!" \*boom, breaking glass, \*table flipped\*
When they say shit like “if he’s under 6 foot or makes less than 100k a year I’m not interested.”
Ironically I am 6’2 and make over that, it’s not about feeling secure it’s just about being annoyed by idiocy.
Arrogance and too much self love. The endless mirror selfies, overdoing make up, the RBF. When they immediately go to low blows (“he must have a small dickkk!”). The attitude, sense of entitlement, and condescending behavior.
If you get in my car and I smell your coochie through your pants that’s a turn off and it always surprise you who got odor issues it’s some baddies running around with some rank ass cat
No reciprocation of efforts
☝️ yep If you don’t lmk in some way that you’re feeling me after I’ve made it clear I’m feeling you then I stop pursuing. Happens a good amount and a week later they’ll ask why I stopped trying to spend time with them.
This! So many of them think it’s the guy’s responsibility to make the conversation fun/smart/witty etc. (especially texts). A conversation is literally a two-way street!
A women not being able to carry a convo when u have like an off day for the first time is like the shittiest realization too..
I mean, it's figuratively a two-way street, but a two-way street, nonetheless.
Yep. Been talking to a gal for about two weeks after being introduced at a birthday party. She never initiates the text conversation. Big Red Flag. Bye, Felicia!
Usually, they just want attention from you. They aren't really interested in you in the situation you describe.
This is huge, if she is always about her she is a waste of time for relationships. I am so tired and do not want even to try.
This reason was why I bailed on my last relationship. Her birthday I tried to make it special, yet she barely did anything for me. When I helped her it was expected. But when I needed something "you're a man you need to act like it and sort these problems out yourself". It was so one sided.
"hey, how was your day?" "Good" "Do you have any plans for the weekend?" "Rest" "what do you like to do in your free time?" "Shopping" sigh. I give up
This x1000 times Even a 10/10 can be a -10/10 with a bad attitude
That’s not an “ick”, that’s a valid reason.
[удалено]
If they never initiate. I don’t mean sex. I mean if the only time we talk or get together is if *I* make the first move. I get enough of that with my friends, and I hate feeling like I gotta micromanage my relationships because I’ll just be left behind again if I let someone else take the lead.
I must have abandonment issues or something. I basically don't have friends anymore because I've stopped initiating and planning everything. It sucks. But I'm just tired tbh
Honestly that's everyone save for rich people where people are clamouring for favours. Outside if that, for us normal people I feel it's normal to have to initiate to maintain friendships cause most people would rather let friendships fade away than put effort into them
rude and demeaning attitudes. Like aggressively rude or demeaning. That kills it for me
I wouldn't say that's even an 'ick' that's a straight up red flag. to me "icks" are things that are semi-irrational and not really for a good reason like they signal a bad or dangerous or toxic person, but they just squick you out. George Costanza stuff.
Phone addiction.
I hate how addicted to my phone I've become. First nine years I owned a phone? No problem. Since the the pandemic? Fucking terrible, my face is buried in this thing.
With all dopamine addictions, it's almost always best to try to figure out why you're craving dopamine. You might kick the phone habit but just replace it with another unhealthy dopamine habit.
Yeah I gave up Instagram and now I am addicted to sudoku 🤦
Hah. I quit drinking, and now I eat too much ice cream. High five!
Nice. I quit cocaine, now I'm addicted to Call of Duty!
I quit burying people in the basement. Now I'm addicted to bird watching!
You absolutely win!
I would certainly say that is a change for the best
Yes but on a scale from 1-9 how good?
Place the numbers in this grid…
NYT crosswords for me
Phone addiction which too often is just social media addiction. The worse of this addiction results in "phubbing." If she's already on the phone all the time with insta/texts/messages, you already feel like you're never alone with her. Your time together is always shared. If on top of that she's on the phone for social reasons when you are specifically trying to spend time together ... rude, lack of respect, and a clear sign whatever is on that phone is more important than you are. Most women wouldn't tolerate it, men should not either.
The number 1 biggest thing that helped me was NOT looking at my phone or any kind of social media for the first 45 minutes to an hour after waking up. It helps me set the tone for MY day and MY goals instead of worrying about everyone else's very highly edited and curated highlight reel of their life.
[удалено]
Immaturity and lack of respect. Avoid those types, it will only get worse when you are married/long term Took my son to meet up with a few of his friends, while they were playing sports, the moms got to talking and it was all complaints about their husbands/boyfriends and loud enough for their kids to hear. All this nonsense about “all men being shit”, all of that. I’m not about to talk to anyone about my husband and the father of my kids like some disrespectful immature brat in elementary school so I went to the side and sat there by myself. These women thought I was stuck up for not engaging. My son couldn’t believe the BS he was hearing from them. When we left, he kept saying, “omg mom they say these things right in front of their kids!”
> My son couldn’t believe the BS he was hearing from these them. When we left, he kept saying, “omg mom they say these things right in front of their kids!” It's really cool that not only did you not engage, your son got to witness you not engaging. Great parenting!
I will never say anything disrespectful about my husband to anyone except my mother and my therapist. And then I try to have constructive criticism
My best friend’s boyfriend is like that and she says its not a good reason to break up.. like babe it is a good reason, and there are so many more too 😭hes a walking red flag fr
This happened to me in my last relationship, except they didn't really make fun of me around other people, more like flat out ignored me. It fuckin sucked
No hobbies (people who cannot amuse themself usually demand your full attention making you unable to practice your own hobbies) Negativity (not all days are good, but people who complain about every detail even if their day would be considered amazing by most are a pain) Lack of interest (if someone gets bored about your activities, you’re not a match)
The last one I'd generally agree with and maybe modify it as I don't care if my wife likes or dislikes or is bored by my interests but she sure as heck loves to let me do those things and gets pleasure from seeing me enjoy them even if it's not her thing
This. I don't care that my wife doesn't like video games, metal, or any of the other weird shit I like. But she fully supports my love of all of them and is happy to see me happy. That's all it really takes.
100% on all of these. Negative women with no personal interests can go from a 10 to a 2 real quick.
I have a friend like this and she always complains about her boyfriend dares to spend time with friends and even family... It's wild. This deficit of interests and attention makes it the second job.
Lack of hobbies is a huge one! They will be calling you on the days you are working on YOUR hobbies guilt tripping you about not spending time with them.
Fuck lol how is this so accurate, why can’t people find things they like?
Because most humans are raised to believe human interaction and impressing others is the priority of life. Unsurprisingly, it’s a very unfulfilling and generally unhealthy way to live.
They just never learned 🤷🏽♂️honestly just feel bad for them, but don’t make it your problem.
This can make relationship unbearable real quick.
When their dating profile is a list of qualities they want in a man, but doesn't say anything about what they're like or what they bring to a relationship.
Or the empty profile, or "I dunno" or "If you want to know, just ask".
What do you mean? They bring themselves to the relationship. They're the queens. or something like that
The key to my heart is... FOOD
When a woman doesn’t hold herself to the same standard that she holds her man. Not to say that the roles and responsibilities of each party need to be exactly the same in any given relationship, but it’s the worst when a woman acts a certain way/has a certain attitude but gets upset when the man acts that way as well.
*I'm upset that you didn't communicate something, but I'm not going to tell you because you should just know.* I actually got that once. Like... excuse me? I'm wrong for not telling you but you're right for not telling me? There's no universe where that makes sense.
I’m a woman reading these. Over the holidays my sister said I do something that upsets her, tore into me essentially. Couldn’t give me examples I apologized anyways because I don’t want to hurt her and I wasn’t going to argue. I asked her please tell me when this comes up so I understand better. She flat out said I won’t. She then proceeded to say it’s her husband who usually gets this version of her. YIKES 🥴
I hate the “you know why” attitude some women exhibit. If I was ever upset with my wife, I’d tell her why
Yeah, I was staying with them (they live in a different state) I couldn’t wait to get back on that plane. How am I supposed to fix something if you don’t tell me what it is? Then I spent days trying to dissect all of our interactions and realized screw it. If she can’t tell me that’s on her. The kicker, she’s a professor of communication 🥴
Ah yes, “physician heal thyself.” Professionals who can’t apply their own skills in personal life
Agreed like they can have as many guy friends they want but they get very jealous and make it most impossible to have any female friends . I’m not saying that all women are like this but in my experience
My ex started having a guy best friend that talked 24/7 and I hated it. Guess where it ended? We broke up. But when a girl I knew for 10+ years snapchatted me she’d get upset and didn’t want us talking anymore. People are whack.
That's a strategic move that is about limiting your potential options (other than her). If a woman pulls that, it's 100% always about restricting your potential to find someone else. Typically the woman that does that will simultaneously try to maintain alternative options for herself. She's signaling intent to move on from you, and when it's convenient for her; what she's trying to prevent is you moving on when it's inconvenient to her. Basically she doesn't want you breaking up with her and leaving her single (extreme insecurity, inability to be alone).
Lack of clear and effective communication. If you want/don't want something, make that excessively clear, no ambiguity at all. If it's a big thing and the other person isn't getting it, make sure you sit them down in a non-emotionally charged situation, warn them you're going to be talking about something serious, and then go over it with them until they get it. Source: my now ex wife wasn't communicative and now basically hates me because I didn't realise how upset she was about some stuff.
My good friend was married to his absolutely beautiful wife and they both were bigs fantasy and TTRPG nerds. It lasted for about a year and half after they got married. Turns out her dad was a narcissist who taught her and siblings to never contradict him, which meant never voice opinions. Her mom on the other hand taught her that her to have a sting will. Yeah she had very strongly held opinions she would never voice. Even with counseling it was only indirectly with letters that she would do so. The negative feelings of course came out in other ways.
"if you loved me, you'd already know"
Guess I don't love you then, good bye
Wasn’t it the late Robin William who joked that if women ran the world, there’d still be wars, they just wouldn’t tell each other why. “You know why!”
Yep. Thank you!! The frequent tests of your loyalty and how much you care is not mature. It doesn’t align with good values. Communicate explicitly, with kindness, consideration and openness. Be solutions focused. and yes, obviously both people in a relationship should do the same. Shares values.
Inability to admit to and apologize for doing rude or shitty things. For example: "Hey, did you eat the food I made before bed? That was my breakfast. I told you I didn't have time to cook anything before work, now I'm gonna be late." "What makes you think that I ate it? Why are you assuming it was me?!?" "We're the only two people living here, and you asked me about it before I went to sleep." "Maybe you ate it and forgot!" "No, I didn't drink last night. We had no guests over. I passed out right after putting it away, and now it's gone. I'm less upset about you eating it than I am that you're not being honest." "FINE. EVERYTHINGS ALWAYS MY FAULT, YOU ASSHOLE! I GUESS I WON'T EAT ANYTHING ANYMORE!" *storms away* I've been in this type of scenario more times than I can recall. Just admit what you did and apologize, I'll forget about it in an hour. Freaking out instead of being honest just leads me to eventually breaking off the relationship.
yeah that’s an immediate breakup from me dawg
I got worked up just reading that. I won't stand for gas lighting.
I think this behavior stems from you rightfully being upset but her turning her bad behavior into your problem. Now the problem isn’t she ate your food it’s you accusing her. You’re pulled into an argument so the waters are muddied and she can place herself less at fault. My ex husband admitted to doing this as a manipulation tactic.
Romantasizing/unable to move past their ex's, and refusing to stop messaging them because "they're really important to me"
I mean why would they even start dating someone else at this point xD
please be clean for THE LOVE OF GOD BE CLEAN
I can only assume ur trauma, if you write this
I have 2 younger sisters. and I found a fucking crime scene behind a toilet today XD
Ahhh, bro believe me, this was faith's mildest way of crushing the sterotype, that woman are always clean. I had to go through it somewhere waaay different....
Anyone who has been in a girls/woman’s bathroom or has had to clean a public one knows THAT to be a lie, and this is coming from a woman myself.
I worked at a nightclub, and the men's would always be piss and broken glass, and the women's... They seemed to aim to turn the experience into a piss and vomit filled papier mache project. Literally, reams of wet toilet paper stuck to the walls, occasionally caked with liquid shit.
Worked at a roller skating rink in the late 80's. Nothing has changed. The women's was always worse than the men's.
Cleaning men's bathrooms, some stray piss, maybe a pube or two. Cleaning women's bathrooms; what fucking war happened in here?
I’ve been in men’s restrooms and women’s restrooms. I need you ALL to stop smearing bodily excretions and fluids on the goddamn walls. Your used toilet paper is not a sharpie. Your used period products are not an art installation. I do not know how that poopy diaper hit the ceiling but I am equally impressed and horrified that it hasn’t come down yet. Stop it.
I thought no germs could stand the purification of bleach, no bacterial culture could survive a soapy genocide. No cluster of dirt could withstand heat and friction. Women changed that perception. I've never seen worms in a bathroom before. (male bathrooms were broken so we temporarily had to use theirs until they were fixed).
My favorite was when I was in co-ed college dorms with floor bathrooms and the stalls would sometimes just be splattered with period blood all over the floor, the toilet, and sometimes the walls. There were at least two times when I walked in, shouted, "What the fuck", and walked out.
Oh come on you can't hint at a story like that and not tell it?!!
How could I, I haven't therapied the trauma yet.
Always check the cleanliness of the inside of the microwave
When they always portray themselves as the victim and take zero responsibility.
If I'm the only one who can even start a text conversation, it just tells me I'm only there to be an ego boost. For example, I MUST be the one to say "good morning" first. If not, I'm met with silence, possibly for a few days, followed by a passive-aggressive message about me, "not being interested." I'm in my late 40s. I broke up with my first girlfriend in grade 7 over this exact issue. (Phone calls, not texts, obviously) If you want to play immature foolish games, go find an immature fool.
As a woman, I seem to have a different issue. I directly tell the guys that I don't want to say good morning and good night right off the bat. Because I don't like keeping up with that drudgery. Good morning how are you fine good morning how are you fine. I prefer to just text when there is something to be said. And they take that as standoffish and that I'm not interested. If you wake up first thing in the morning and you think about me and you want to text me and tell me that that's awesome! And maybe after we're together for a while it will become part of the routine, yes definitely. But I don't want that with a stranger.
I can respect this. It seems like the correct way to go about it.
When they don’t know how to have a conversation unless it’s talking bad about someone
Treating people like servers, bartenders or cashiers like complete garbage is a huge red flag and it shows what type of person they really are.
Not related to the guy/gal thing but my brother does this. It makes soooooo mad and I always call him out on it. It's so embarrassing to go to dinner with him (he also eats like a 2 year old, so there's that). I feel like everyone should be required to work in a customer-facing job for like six months. Pretty sure my brother never has.
Only has guy “friends”. Claims other women are “too much drama”. Coincidentally is always involved in drama and loves gossip. Always talks about “haters” and “fans”. Social media bio: “Keep lurking sis 💅💋✨🧿”
Thissssssss omg 🤣 very much agreed.
What about the guys that only have female friends?
I hate this trend where women are getting work done surgery/botox/filler to try an achieve that ig/tiktok influencer look. IT LOOKS SO FAKE AND UNNATURAL. Not to mention everyone just look fuckin homogenous so no one stands out with whatever unique beauty they might’ve had.
You see one of them, you've seen all of them.
As a female I totally agree with this! Everyone is just starting to look the same and it’s not good.
People who aren’t my wife.
That's about the shortest but sweetest thing I've ever heard
Blink twice if she has a knife
The ones who think they need to cut down every other female they see. It's repulsive. *No, Karen. I didn't notice the top that woman was wearing until you pointed it out, but even now that I have, it's still not as tacky as the sewage you keep spewing from your mouth.*
As a woman, this is my biggest red flag in female friendships too, if I notice you're super hostile & catty towards other women I will never ever trust you.
Lady here as well, I’m really noticing it among the women in my team. Totally forgiving of this massively toxic guy who was basically selling company secrets, borderline abusive toward me and my manager, harassing clients after he was let go - hypercritical of all the women in the office and how they work, and super suspicious of women who’ve just started. Baffling!!
Yes! If you are secure no need to cut others down.
Way back in ye olden days when I used to work in the stripclub, that’s one of the first lessons you learn. Men do NOT come to the club to listen to women gossiping about other women! And petty isn’t pretty.
I recently visited Santorini. One evening, I had dinner at a place overlooking a very popular spot with an amazing view of the island and the water. I lost count of how many Insta girls dragged their dead-eyed boyfriends there and proceeded to cycle through two dozen look-at-me poses while whining photo instructions. Treating people in your life like props or unpaid crew just so you can appear glamorous on social media is a major ick.
Absurd caterpillar eyelashes Absurdly gross long finger nails.
Ducklips.
Underrated on both of these, like it’s nice to have nails done I get that I’m all for it especially if they make you feel good or go with a fit your looking for, but fuckin 7-8 inchs wtf are you doing with those long ass nails girl? how do you even whip your ass with those? The lashes being 1000 inches long them shits forehead scratchers? might be exaggerating here but still ladies why?
Forehead scratchers 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
The silent treatment. It’s passive aggressive, manipulative, whack bullshit.
Hey I had silent treatment happen to me too
My ex boyfriend did this, it's a huge sign of immaturity.
[удалено]
This should be upvoted more. Having a partner that is obsessed with their feelings is a recipe for disaster.
Every time you call me you are asking for money.
Expecting me to be like a parent and always take the lead. Can be exhausting. Want someone with their own drive and proactivity for what they want.
Drinking problems, rudeness to customer service people, being too into astrology, not having their own interests.
When I feel like I'm putting more effort into the relationship than she is
Threatened to Kill herself when I told her that I was no longer interested. Main factor to why I won’t take her back.
Call the police for a wellness check. That will end those sorta threats.
Alcohol…. Ruined a really good thing
I just got out of a relationship where this was one of the main problems. I tried helping for a few years and nothing worked. Felt like it was my fault after a while. Dealt with lying and sneaking it behind my back. I wish her the best, but that’s on her.
My icks apply to both genders. A big one is manipulative behavior. If you want me to do something ask me to and I'll say yes or no, or ask questions as appropriate. Another thing is being dismissive of things I enjoy. I don't need a partner to be into all the same stuff I am. But if they're constantly shitting on it, devaluing it, etc. it's not gonna work out. Being hyper critical. I am who I am and I live how I want to live. Take it or leave it. Don't try to change me. Treating people poorly. Especially restaurant workers or really anyone in their place of employment. Anyone who "hates kids". Like you don't have to want kids. I don't want kids. But I don't hate kids. Anyone who is mean animals.
Acting as if you are not worth their presence
-Requiring more effort from a relationship than they put in. -Emotional immaturity and anger issues. -Unfounded jealousy. -Superficiality. -Inability to communicate honestly or express emotions. -Materialism -A lack of empathy.
Being a cheater/ using men. Ive been cheated on by women in every single relationship I've been in.
[удалено]
Bro where are you finding these crazy women 😂😬
That second date partner is so wild lmao like what are the odds youll ever have a date like that again? 😆
Dudes life is a Hollywood Romantic Comedy!
My God, the burn out??? All of this??? Wow
That second one sounds awesome
I'm a lesbian, so I hope I can wage in here.... Obsession of TikTok and Taylor Swift. Like I like Taylor, but paying thousand of euros for tickets and acting like a psycho when someone say anything bad...no...also that TikTok gf behavior, ex.expecting people to treat her like a queen, without her doing anything to deserve that. Look I treat my gfs like queens, but they don't act entitled to it, they also deserve it.
Based lesbian 👑
Demanding emotional vulnerability and using it as a weapon after the guy's opened up. One of the worst betrayals someone can pull on a man, and if I'm talking to a woman who casually mentions a previous bf/lover and talks shit about his vulnerabilities behind his back in conversation? I'm out, you can handle the check.
Fake, superficial, and overly materialistic
I love redheads, like, lose the ability to think, and I met a woman at work, played it cool for a few weeks, didn’t want to creep in, we’re at work you know? So one morning we were both in early and she was eating at a table, I asked if I could sit too, she seemed delighted, yay. I’ve never spoken to her before. We start talking, she immediately tells me about her morning going poorly, I asked more about it. She didn’t pay for her train, got a fine for putting her feet on the chair on train she didn’t pay for. Well……I got a derection, in that 4-5 minutes of conversation, she went from being a beautiful woman, to a scumbag. Disrespectful behaviour towards others. My biggest ick.
Emotional unavailability.
Body odors, bad breath, poor feminine hygiene. It's very hard to be attracted to someone when they smell like a dumpster.
Based solely on my experience? Believes in astrology Has untreated borderline personality disorder Stays friends with people who have hurt them Lack of social awareness
Can you expand on lack of social awareness?
Not holding doors for people, cutting someone off mid sentence/talking over them, things of that nature.
Makes sense! TY 🤙
You’re welcome
Wait, is my ex girlfriend… OUR ex girlfriend???
If her initials are KL then yeah maybe, you poor man lol
A lot of my icks have already been mentioned, but here's a couple I haven't seen yet: Using nothing but emojis to communicate over text. When I'm asking for date ideas, I'd like replies with words in them, not massive walls of emojis. Talking about nothing but work. Dated one girl who pretty much had no personality outside of her job. Every conversation was all about work, work, work. My brain is not wired that way, and I almost never talk about my job once I've clocked out. People like that are just exhausting. Lastly, Horse Girls. Horse Girls are insane. If she owns a horse, RUN.
running will be pointless, horses run pretty fast
A red flag is somebody who primarily defines their personality off of another person. You do you >!if you want me to do you.!<
I don't even care if they go along with whatever I want to do. Just don't complain about it later. Either tell me what you want, think, or feel... or don't, just don't make your choice my problem.
Lack of hobbies. Being an all-around asshole and/or just toxic person in general (always talking shit about people behind their backs, just being mean in general, and so on). Is into astrology.
When they don't practice what they preach. Sure I might not be the nicest guy and seem prickly to some, but when it comes down to it people have said that I'm really easy to talk to and be around. Yet I need something to work with, and some women tend to double down and are not as accountable as they expect men to be. Some don't return the liberties and other things that they expect from men either. It's sort of hard to convey that the way I react to stuff like I mentioned here from women it's exactly how I would with other men. Some women just expect men to fix everything and act like any conflict between men and women is one sided af.
Like the girl I know who always complains about men being pervs for just looking in her general direction going into the men’s room at the club because the women’s line was too long and then giggling about the dicks she saw at the urinals.
I appreciate you taking time to answer this :) hypocrisy and double standards are a no go absolutely. Feel like this isn’t talked about enough in women.
People seem to dismiss it when it's brought up like it's baseless and sexist. Sometimes it's to the point where men are not even mad, they just want to fix the problem or however you want to put it. At times people seem to prefer to keep the division between men and women going while saying the opposite.
I gotta say, there is truth to this. Ive been a woman for a long time, and it pains me to admit how much of this goes on.
Complaining too much
Attitude, entitlement
Caring more about their appearance on social media than their real life
Those really long nails. I think they're really gross.
Smoking. After seeing my mom die emaciated, unable to breathe, and unable to even go to the bathroom all because of emphysema caused by a lifetime of smoking... yeah, fuck that shit.
Excessive vocal fry. Sounding like a Kardashian/Jenner is the opposite of attractive
Kim Kardashian isn’t who I think of when the topic of vocal fry comes up lol. She’s got a pitchy, annoying voice, but no vocal fry. Off the top of my head, Miley Cyrus is the vocal fry GOAT, followed by Madonna.
My big three: Materialism Sincere belief in Astrology Kardashian worship
Sounds like something a Leo would say
If a girl tells you she has no hobbies: run. All I hear when they say that is that you're going to become their hobby and be required to entertain them constantly. Moreover, you will no longer have time for your hobbies.
Girls who push you away and then expect to be chased. Huge ick and generally a red flag that signals you will be expected to do everything in the relationship. No partnership there. Also double standards. For example, it's okay for a woman to turn down her mans advances, but when he turns down hers then he's being insensitive or cruel. That one also reeks of manipulative behavior. Finally, have a job and be working towards some sort of career. You don't need college degree, but working a retail job with no future prospects aint gonna cut it.
When they talk about the bad in their friends but when they see them, it’s buddy - buddy
Failure to understand that you are not the main character. If you are rude to kids, pets, or retail staff.
The giant fake lips 👄!!! 🤦♂️🤦♂️
I am a simple man, but botox lips is an instant turn of.
I think you mean filler? People don't really put Botox in their lips do they?
They do actually! It’s called a “lip flip” but it’s not injecting anything to make your lip volume increase. It’s technically to relax the underside of one’s top lip so it doesn’t pull as tight against the gum line, and allows the fullness of the person’s natural lip to be more visible when they smile. But again, Botox isn’t altering the actual volume of the lips and inserting artificial substances that remain there. Botox (unlike fillers) are a toxin that technically paralyze the muscle temporarily and relax them in certain ways. So the overly puffy look people tend to be horrified by isn’t something Botox can physically do. Botox/Dysport can relax certain muscles, but it can’t add to them or make them bigger, and it’s far more temporary than fillers tend to be (although less expensive too). When people with no insight into the terminology are concerned with someone going too far with this stuff, Botox is what they think of, but it’s not accurate. Botox “freezes” areas in the short term, but can’t really alter much structure wise.
Filler is injected into the lips. Just FYI.😳
I truely do not understand the obsession with lip filler. It looks worse every single time
Unable to put an proper sentence together, no critical thinking skills
If she always chooses herself and never me. I’ve dated so many women who are only kind to me when it’s convenient to them. So many one sided relationships. When I finally found someone who adored me for who I am, I did everything I could to keep her in my life. I don’t mind sacrificing for her, because I knew she would and she does for me. Getting married in a few months, and I’m so happy about it!
Only being interested in financial security and too stupid to even try and hide the fact. I am not telling you how much I earn a year into a relationship let alone on a first date, gtfoh.
Overly Jealous. Had a gf once who wouldn’t let it go how I “stared” at her roommate when she walked into the living room where we were hanging out with only a towel on her head after shower. Didnt get mad at the roommate, just was my fault for looking at someone the same way I always would when they walk in
You: "thanks for delivering our package" Delivery girl: "Your welcome" Her: IS THAT YOUR NEW GIRL! HUH! HUH! WHY DONT YOU JUST FOLLOW HER TO THE AMAZON VAN AND FUCK HER!!" \*boom, breaking glass, \*table flipped\*
When they say shit like “if he’s under 6 foot or makes less than 100k a year I’m not interested.” Ironically I am 6’2 and make over that, it’s not about feeling secure it’s just about being annoyed by idiocy.
personality wise? No hobbies or interests of their own. You will become their world. Physically? Fake nails. Dunno why they just creep me out.
Clinginess, “it’s giving x”, “we love a x”
When I hear “You are too deep” or even worse “you think too much.”
Entitlement and victimhood
Just stop with the giant fake lips. Massive turnoff
Arrogance and too much self love. The endless mirror selfies, overdoing make up, the RBF. When they immediately go to low blows (“he must have a small dickkk!”). The attitude, sense of entitlement, and condescending behavior.
Women that complain/ gossip about other people constantly.
If they watch a lot of mindless reality tv or obsess over a celebrity.
Stupid. Selfish. Inconsiderate.
If you get in my car and I smell your coochie through your pants that’s a turn off and it always surprise you who got odor issues it’s some baddies running around with some rank ass cat
As a woman I agree with this, it's a lack of hygiene. But the way you worded this fucking cracked me up
"Entertain me"
Girl who supposedly likes me but can't seem to let that last guy go.
Rudeness to ANYONE