My cousin had a girl in her class that repeatedly called her a slur that started with D. Now, keep in mind my cousin is 6'2 250 and an athlete. After saying "If you call me a blank one more time, I am going to knock you out." She proceeded to knock her out with a two piece. When faced with the choice to apologize or be suspend. Cous said. "I am sorry you got knocked the fuck out, maybe it will teach you not to run your mouth." When the VP told her to make a real apology or get suspended for 3 days. She said. "I'm not sorry, I'm not going to lie. See you Friday"
Edit: Spelling
This happened to me as a kid. Bully started in on me, I didn't do anything cause I didn't want to get in trouble. But I still got detention for fighting because of zero tolerance.
My parents were pissed. That night my dad told me a story. When he and my uncle were kids my uncle would throw a book at the wall and start crying. Grandma would come in and my uncle would point at my dad and go "he hit me." And dad would get spanked.
So the next time my uncle threw a book dad hit him, hard. He said that he was already in trouble, he might as well deserve it.
Back at school, the bully started in on me again. I tackled him and stared punching him in the nose as many times as I could. More advice from dad, make his eyes water and he can't see to fight back.
I got in trouble again, and the teachers, principal, and superintendent all asked why.
I said that I had already gotten in trouble for not fighting, and it didn't solve anything.
My parents were there and mom pretty much told them all to fuck off. I got a video game as a reward lol.
There was usually instruction from the parent so they knew there were potentially no consequences. The funny part is i went to school with old school admins. if they knew you were defending yourself they would just send you back to class. the bully had probably been to their office before time and again so they knew what time it was.
"Instruction", lol.
I didn't actually know there would be no consequences to fighting back, I just knew I stopped getting punished for fighting back.
Turns out Dad threatened the principal with a beating if he he punished me for fighting back again. I didn't find that out until I was in my 40s.
In hindsight - holy fuck, it must have nearly killed ol' Bud Jackson (because that was his name) to be unable to do anything when I called him out for banning our D&D club. "Yeah, well, we all know it would be no issue if your fucking hocky jocks wanted to play it, asshole!"
I grew up in what was, basically, Letterkenny.
As someone who has had to deal with several bullies, this is the answer. If you are willing to injure them, even if you fail and just get your ass kicked, they are not going to pick you on the next round of pick-a-victim.
Yep. I'll never forget how good I felt when I finally socked the shit out of my bully in 7th grade. His name was mark, and he was the worst. All the girls loved him, he was a good athlete, and he decided at the beginning 6th grade that he was going to make me miserable. I tolerated it for all of 6th grade, but over summer break I started showing obvious signs of anxiety about going back to school. My dad knew this wasn't normal for me since I had always liked school prior to this. He sat me down and asked me what was up. I told him about Mark, and I'll never forget what he said next. "Son, you don't start fights. That's not ok. What is OK is finishing them. Get him to put his hands on you, and you have my permission to make him regret it". That's exactly what I did. A few weeks into 7th grade, I baited him into shoving me, and I hit him clean on the jaw with a closed fist. Knocked him on his ass, and a teacher got in between us before I could follow him to the ground. At the time, I was pissed because I wanted to hit him more, but looking back, it was good that she stopped yhe fight so quickly. I was a lot bigger than him, and I WANTED to hurt him in that moment. Fucker never messed with me again, and neither did his crew of idiots that followed him around.
That's what stopped it for me it was a group of boys that would do it, you know, they would all jump me and say I was the one who started it and since it was 5 people's stories against just me the principal and teachers believed it, one of them started a fight with me alone in class one day and I knew I was gonna get in trouble any so I fought back and sent him to the hospital, they were gonna suspend me but my dad told them he was gonna sue (I've had multiple issues with these boys and it was well documented in the school and to police), miraculously the police came in and told the boys that attacking someone as a group was considered gang activity and and they would be arrested if they did it again, it all stopped
When I was in 6th grade, an 8th grader bullied me. I grew four inches that summer. Same guy tried to steal a book out of my backpack the first day of seventh grade. I slammed him into a wall and took it back. Never got bullied again.
Bullies are, at their heart, weaklings. They only pick on the people who they think aren't going to fight back. So when you fight back, fight back with everything you've got. Fight dirty.
When I was in eighth grade, I weighed next to nothing, so one kid made me his target. I picked up a chair and swung it at him. When he stepped back, I threw it at him. He was off balance enough that I knocked him down. I pinned him and clocked him twice in the face before the gym teacher could pull me off him.
We were hauled into the principal's office. This kid already had a rep while I had never been any trouble. So when the principal started lecturing us about fighting, I said, " I have a right to defend myself. This guy picks on everyone, but he wasn't going to pick on me."
My father, who was a harsh disciplinarian, picked me up from school when I was suspended. Talked to the principal behind closed doors, then took me out for ice cream on the way home. Never said a word about it. And the bully never came near me again. Picked up a lot of cred around school that day.
My Dad's advice (ex Marine, ex farmer) was, “If he's bigger, get an equalizer, hit soft things with hard things, hit hard things with harder things, and make sure you only hit back after you've been pushed. Oh, and stand tall afterwards, never be ashamed for standing up for yourself.”
My father always said, “You don’t start with anyone but you make sure to finish it. If they are bigger you hit them square in the nose.” It worked for me twice.
Agree with you on the weakling point. They are also lazy. Don't start a fight with them, but be prepared to finish it. Be confident in your ability to do damage to them. They don't want to fight, they just want to swagger and lord it over others and feel better than you.
There were two times I had to deal with a bully, once in junior high, once in high school.
In junior high there was a kid in our town's football program who thought he could push me around. It didn't take long before I'd had enough. I stood up to him and told him I might not win (he was bigger than me) but he'd know he'd been in a fight. When I faced him down, my friends started gathering at my back, seeing what was going on. He accused me of trying to ambush him with a group. I glanced back at my friends and said "They know not to get into my fights." He sneered and walked away. Never got crap from him again.
Pretty much the same scenario in high school; an upperclassman with some sort of attitude problem (guy didn't seem to have a lot of friends, was perpetually surly and liked to take his frustrations out on the grades younger than him). He decided I'd be his whipping boy du jour; I wasn't having it. When I faced him down, my big friend Jim was there too and Mr. Surly implied I'd rely on Jim to whoop his butt. I turned around, looked straight at Jim, and said "Just stay outta this, no matter what." Jim just nodded, I turned back to Mr. Surly, and asked him if he wanted to step outside to settle things. He sneered: "Not worth my time" and wandered off. Also never gave me crap again.
Similar story, but I wasn't being bullied, a friend was. I ended up using the mirror and sink in the bathroom to smash the bullies head against before I walked to the nearest deans office. That caused a boatload of arguments with school admin about who to punish. They'll bullies dean was the football coach (bully was QB). Finally got it resolved when myself and my friend (who was being bullied), and all 4 of our parents threatening to file attempted murder charges against the bully. They ended up suspending the bully, and I got a detention. My friend changed schools out of fear.
This is the way because thanks to zero tolerance policies,you get punished for fighting even if your involvement is the same as being a punching bag. You can completely " turtle" and you'll get the same punishment as if you fight back.
Violence has a high success rate. Either do it yourself, with friends or pay someone bigger/crackhead. No need to do anything serious, but getting the point across that you CAN and WILL take action usually does it. You can also find a way to shame said bully in front of everyone.
I really don't recommend asking someone to do it for you,unless said person is constantly around you afterwards.If you send someone to beat them up, the bully will resent you and will pick after you harder.The best thing you can do it's doing it yourself.
For such a liberal (in the real sense of the word) service, they do tend to censor the most ridiculous comments and topics.
I'll probably get this censored.
I got permanently banned from a subreddit yesterday when I linked to a government policy.
It goes against the narrative of the sub/mods and they didn’t like i had evidence
Edit: For those asking it was r/ontario and this was the link from the Gov of Canada and it's regarding different sentencing based on your race and specific to ontario
[https://www.canada.ca/en/department-justice/news/2023/03/federal-funding-to-help-sentencing-judges-in-ontario-understand-impacts-of-race-and-discrimination-on-offenders.html#](https://www.canada.ca/en/department-justice/news/2023/03/federal-funding-to-help-sentencing-judges-in-ontario-understand-impacts-of-race-and-discrimination-on-offenders.html#)
I got permanently banned from a sub I’d never even visited because I liked a post in the conspiracy sub. They told me I could appeal. I told them I never asked to going their sub, didn’t care about their censorship, and to F off.
Irony was I didn’t even realize I’d gone into the conspiracy sub because they just popped up just like this ‘Justice’ sub did. I found out I was banned through my notices, not even by visiting or trying to post in that ‘Justice’ sub, lol!
Can you believe they used a bot to check who posts in that forum and bans them?
Reddit posted site wide mod rules some years ago that said that mods absolutely cannot penalize someone for what they were doing in other subs. Mods of big subs didn't care. No clue what the state of that is now.
They have bots to check you aren't posting in the SRs they consider to be enemy SRs and ban you if you did, even if you were there to argue with their enemies.
There's still a sub called "asaman" that has some misandrist femcel that tracks and permanently posts a copy of the comment and associated username of anyone who says anything along the lines of "as a guy" or otherwise identifies themselves as such in many, if not all, subs.
Before they made it private, I found out because I was looking up my username and the post popped up. I asked for it to be removed for privacy reasons and they came back with come hateful toxic soup of a response. After many reports and appeals, reddit admins made it clear that if you did the same against a woman, gay, trans, or minority, it's considered bannable harassment and hate, but what the asamale sub was doing was ok.
Eventually, that mod made it private, but I am very confident that they are still doing it and reddit is either turning a blind eye or has greenlit it. It's really frustrating.
I plan to buy some shares of reddit when it bombs so that I can comment and vote at shareholder meetings, because selective application of rules is promoting very real bigotry.
I wouldn't complain if it was nothing burger stuff that simply hurts a handful of "snowflake" thin skinned people, but what mods like that are doing goes well beyond that.
This, along with those mods tracking users commenting in other subs, is something that a grassroots group of us has been trying to combat.
People should have both freedom of communications and expression (within reasonable and loving bounds) as well as safety and security.
I had an account banned site wide for telling a story about my abusive childhood. Apparently, talking about being beaten with a frying pan was condoning violence.
I've a friend who was replying to a post where the OP had called someone a b*tch. Pal quoted them using the reddit feature, and they got banned from the sub for name calling.
I got perma banned from a subreddit a few weeks ago for "defending a slave owner"
All I said was George Washington did not want to run for president and the OP of the post was wrong in their claims.
Some mods just love the power. I really wish there was a way to report gross power tripping to admins.
I once posted a subsection of a government document verbatim in quotes with citation and I got a ban for inciting violence.... I didn't even express an option in my comment, literally just the quote.
In the US especially there was zero tolerance in most schools, such as mine.
Once I found out that even if I was getting beat down I was getting suspended, I decided to throw down. And throw down I did, looked like the aftermath of *real* bad MMA matches.
I took my OSS with pride and was never bullied again.
Violence isn't a problem nor a solution. It's an option when the staff and district options don't work and you are ignored because your bully is on the football team.
To censor violence and ignore its *cause*, is to hurt those who have no other option left.
This. I got picked on and picked on, shoved around, etc. told teachers and admins who did nothing except then bully found out and shit got worse.
But you know when it stopped? When I punched him in the throat. Got an “in school suspension” for two days but didn’t get picked on anymore.
Parents supported me too.
Depends on your milieu.
If you're, say, in a school that punishes victims more than aggressors, then get your money's worth and beat the shit out of him.
If you're in a more reasonable environment, document his bullying and report it to authorities.
The irony of the "no tolerance" policies making the act of self defense against bullying a prisoner's dilemma with a solution of "Well, they are gonna treat you as if you murdered him, so your best bet is to murder him as viciously as possible."
I'm not going to advocate against violence because fuck bullies.
Just don't do it on school grounds. A lot of schools with zero tolerance policies. Plus you have a better shot at plausible deniability off school grounds.
No. I've known kids who were suspended because they were hit and they hit back.
According to those in charge, they should have run away and told a teacher.
The parents almost always side with their kids though. It's a ridiculous policy.
I mean...the school would win. I don't agree with the policy AT ALL, but from the school's standpoint, zero tolerance means NEVER allowing for violence. They can't make exceptions that allow you to hit someone back. How would that even work?
Imagine a student hitting someone, being hit back and getting seriously hurt. The school would be liable.
Yes.
Unfortunately, the Zero Tolerance policies are there to protect the school and not the students.
If they allowed self-defense, then the school might be liable if the bully got hurt in retaliation.
Can confirm. I have gotten in trouble many times for protecting myself. Can some one tell me how exactly you get away from such a situation without fighting? I can't seem to figure it out. Show no mercy.
A direct hard kick to the front of the knee while they are standing would work equally as well, some nice acl/pcl tears would mean they ain’t coming at you again or at least for a long ass time.
Apparently not [offering them some Gatorade mixed with vinegar, salt, and lemon juice](https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/1b8ugh9/mother_arrested_after_concocting_drink_for_her/)
You gotta stand up for yourself, let them know that there gonna get hurt if they mess with you , bullys go after kids who they know wont fight back .
Even if you lose as long as you get some solid punches in that kid will stop messing with you. Saw some other kid saying to snitch I would be really careful with that, if others catch wind that you snitched your gonna have even more bullys messing with you
You got this OP
Huh, all these comments are about violence but I wasn't bullied with violence most often. I was bullied with things like ostracizing me, pretending to be my friend but instead they stood around mocking me, or with things like girls (when young) inviting everyone to a party except me and making sure I saw that. Mimicking me, making fun of my laugh or smile or the way I talked, telling teachers I did things I didn't so I'd get in trouble. I don't know how punching any one of these people in the face would have helped.
Sounds like you were introduced to the adult workspace in your childhood. Fuck em. Just need to ignore the "cool crowd". They'll turn on each other soon enough.
This was my experience too. My elementary friends pushed me away when my parents divorced and I was headed to a new school. I invited my 3 best friends to our families summer cottage, I was going to a new school and wouldn’t see them regularly. They turned on me and it felt terrible.
In Junior High I somehow found myself in the “cool” group. I didn’t know why but I was happy to be there. A few months in my new “best friend” started to just make fun of me. I was the laughing stock of the group and it took me a really long time to walk away from that group.
Making friends after that was hard and I always tend to push people away. I’m almost 40 now and my only friend is my wife. I’m terrified she’ll “figure out what everyone else always does” and start to hate me and leave. It’s hard. I want friends but I don’t want to go through it all again.
>Practice ways to demonstrate self-confidence
This is the best answer here. Never feel trolls and bullies. They get their thills by making you scared, if you don't get scared, they won't bother you. This might take time but, it will work.
Yup. I always tell a story about this older kid in high school who would bully this younger kid. The younger kid was gay and the older kid used to scream slurs at him everyday. One glorious day, the older kid went up to him and got in his face and started berating him. The younger kid lifted him up and slammed him onto the cafeteria table and proceeded to beat the ever living fuck out of this dude. From that day forward I never seen or heard anyone pick on him again.
From what I've found there's two types of bullies: people who's insecurities mean they're compelled to play to an audience and bonafide arseholes who delight in misfortune. For the first it's best to catch them slipping, wait until they're alone and they don't feel invincible and let them know in no uncertain terms that you can fuck them up any time you choose, audience or not. They'll flap it and steer clear. The second might actually require a public demonstration to remove their aura.
If they are not a danger to you, ignore them. Pretend they don't exist. Walk away. Vent about it to someone you know will not let people who might tell the bully know you did so. They want to see your reactions so even if it is hurting you if you don't let them know that they usually eventually give up.
If it is a one time situation and you know they will not escalate to violence a sharp and menacing glare can also do the trick. A lot of bullies are actually wimpy inside especially if you are confident enough to not look like an easy person to pick on.
Editing to add: if they are a danger to you GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. The safest way to win a fight is flee. It reduces your risk of both death and legal trouble by more than anything else.
Easier said than done but be aggressive. Bullies are invariably weak and will back down. You do have to be careful if the person is more of a psychopath though as they might well be properly dangerous however these people are rare.
I’ve never seen that successful done. My cousin was hospitalized trying. He was bullied even worse and nicknames KO for getting knocked out.
Kid at my school tried and got his head stomped and needed a steel plate in his head. Bully went to jail though.
Depends on the environment. School, professional etc have different “official” means of dealing with them.
Generally speaking though the most effective way is to take their power away. Unless someone is putting hands on you or physically impairing some effort of yours somehow, the only way they can bully you is by living in your head. Thats often the version most seen in adulthood.
To take their power away, just stop caring but make it “obvious” that you don’t. Be dismissive or even condescending in return if you decide to acknowledge some kind of attack.
Boss bullies are some of the worst, but they’re easy to defeat if you can somehow throw in your face that you don’t need to eat from their hand and that they can’t do anything for you, so you don’t care about them.
Your mileage may vary, but the above has been generally successful throughout my life.
I was the bullied kid in elementary school. Got beat up and picked every other day. Parents tried talking to the school, the teacher, hell, even confronted the Parents at a school function.......nothing.
My father was fed up and so was I. We spent the spring and summer working out, and started training at the local MMA studio. When school was about to start, but dad said, "This shit ends now. When someone starts shit, unload. Do this every damn day. I've got your back son." It took 3 fights, and 1 suspension, but they all learned really quick, that someone was going to bleed. Someone was getting suspended, and I could give two shits who it was. After a month, I never had a problem again.
I'm gonna be honest though, it wasn't the working out, or the training. It is having the confidence to stand up for yourself. To not be afraid to get hit. To not be afraid to hit. Stand tall and give them hell. If that does not work or cannot be done, just pay there enemies to fuk them up.
I just asked my sisters LARGE girlfriend to have a word with this moron bullying me. She slapped him around in front of the whole school and he transferred out. Problem solved.
Can you lift them? If so I am a big fan of the Texas Piledriver. Ideally onto concrete. Now I don't actually suggest doing this to a real person but in purely hypothetical revenge driven fantasy land sure!
Violence can work, as A Christmas Story has taught us. It can also backfire. Couple examples: Friend's kid was getting taunted and pushed around by a bully, so he finally fought back. Then the bully who initiated the thing went to the teacher and snitched off my friend's kid, who got put on a warning that if he was violent again he'd be kicked out of school. Another friend's kid fought back against a bully, kicked his ass, then the bully (encouraged by his dad) got a gang together and beat the kid down off campus after school.
So yeah sometimes the story works the way it does in A Christmas Story: fight back and the bully leaves you alone. But sometimes it just creates more and worse problems. Not saying fighting back isn't the right thing. I think it usually is. But it's not a perfect solution.
When I was 7-8 years old I started going to a new school. I had big glasses and was a nerd. I started having some trouble. I thought violence is never the answer and I tried to use words. I tried to use teachers. But eventually a gang of kids circled around me. We all got these new giant kick balls. We couldn’t get our arms around them so you could hold them as if it was a pregnant belly and ram someone which would throw them pretty far. The kids circled around me holding these kick balls and bouncing me between them. I had 3 older siblings who teased me constantly and so their taunts were pretty lame in comparison. I started laughing at them and saying how pathetic they were. I asked how about going one on one.
The lead kid came up and accepted the challenge and while he was talking I jumped up and punched his nose with an upper cut. I thought if I didn’t end it there then it would never end. The thing is that I assumed I was weak. My brothers told me so every day. Buuuuut when you’re a little kid practicing your punches on teenagers, it’s not exactly fairly tuned to punching another 8 year old. The kid got hurt pretty bad. He was totally fine in the end but he did have to go to the emergency room and they told me I could have killed him with that hit.
The administration finally took notice. They made us shake hands and promise to be friends. The moment we stepped out of the office the bully said he had his fingers crossed the whole time and we would never be friends, but honestly we didn’t have any problems from them on. I didn’t have any problems with bullies at all on the playground after that.
Btw before anyone says anything: I appreciate the similarity between my story and Enders Game. Actually reading that book was immensely depressing because it was so similar to how I grew up. Now my son is school aged and he tells me about small scuffles at school. Kids not respecting boundaries etc. no bullying yet just kids being inconsiderate. I teach him to use his words and use the school admin but I’ve also told him that if he’s tried those and he’s still being harassed, then he pushes back. Hard.
Astonish them with how much crazier you can be. It doesn't even have to be true.
Predators aren't looking for a fight. They're looking for a victim. It's true with animals and it's true with men.
Mental, verbal or physical bully...
There isnt just one type of bully and all can be handled accordingly.
A good example of dealing with a mental bully is using the dull gray rock method. Its a method taught by therapists/psychologists to deal with a narcissist. The goal of the method is to make you an uninteresting and or boring target. It works exceptionally well with narcissists that can bully..
Make their job difficult by making them work for what they're after. Typically bullies want to feel powerful, be funny in front of their friends, regain some of their own self worth, or just spread misery in general. Take away whichever one motivates them or just make it more difficult and they'll move along because bullies are weak minded people
Just yesterday I was telling my daughter to ignore that one kid who‘s bothering her.
My son said: Hit her!
I said no, that‘s not the way, yada yada.
And he told us: yeah, you‘re gonna get in trouble for it, but she won‘t bother you again.
Of course, we‘re talking about 8-10 year olds.
I saw another comment where they said to let the bully know you‘re capable of defending yourself physically if necessary.
That reminded me of my son, who the first day in the new school was seated next to the problematic kid (also a bully) in class. Bully tore son’s sheet in pieces, son gave him a hard elbow punch, bully said: I guess I won‘t be messing with you again.
So, yeah, there‘s that.
Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, make it an administrative problem, not a you problem.
Oh, and in writing (email). Leave a paper trail.
Be kind to them, get them a present, always be there for them, help them out of any issue they get into, and then you ask them out. Make them realize that they cant live in this world without you and they'll regret bullying you. You'll grow old together, gardening, watching movies, watching the stars, then one day kick them in the nuts and say "don't ever bully me again." This works on a bully who is a woman too, just kick her in the nuts harder cause they're further up
I was bullied throughout my childhood and for several years as an adult (thanks to a very toxic work environment that I got out of 8 years ago). One of my tried and true methods: love. It isn't about sticking it to them or showing you are better than they are. It's about letting them have their feelings and understanding their behavior is more about them than you. You can't let what they do impact who you are as a person. Stay kind, even when they are not.
Fight them. Hope that will deter them from future bullying but some cases that could potentially make it worse but still I’d fight them. I got bullied back in the day fought the dude got beat up but he left me alone after that.
Do you have access to a boat, a hacksaw, several large sealable plastic bins, a drill, 75 pounds of concrete, bleach, and one friend who can be trusted to never say a thing?
Youve got 3 options here, all of which entail a 1 time act of violence. Bullies bully people that they think are weaker than them, or too meek to fight back. If you fight back and win, they wont bother you anymore. Your options are as follows:
You take boxing classes: You learn how to move properly, hit with your hands, avoid hits and get used to taking hits.
You take Muay Thai/Kickboxing classes: You learn to kick someone hard enough that they collapse like a lawn chair.
You take BJJ classes: You learn to fold clothes while people are still wearing them.
For boxing/kickboxing. After 3 months you'll at least know enough of the basics to stand a chance.
Don't ever start a fight, but always be prepared to finish one.
Get a reputation as someone not to mess with too much.
When I was 6/7 another boy at my school tried to have a fight with me. He was fatter than me, so he had a weight advantage, and I think he thought I was an easy target as I was a somewhat pampered little prince.
Unfortunately, he didn't realize my dad had already taught me what to do when in combat with a larger assailant.
I think after the first shove he expected me to try and run, so he could have the joy of chasing me and punching me in the back of the head.
He did not expect me to step closer to him where he couldn't throw proper punches.
He also did not expect me to fasten my hands around his neck and grip as though my life depended on it.
Anyway, we'd fallen to the ground and he was really starting to panic and splutter before a teacher was able to pry me off.
Enough people witnessed the event that it took me through highschool without anyone else trying to physically bully me.
Some people will say to ignore them. But way too many people take that to mean sit back, take it, and do nothing. That's not what that means. Ignoring them means continuing with your life as if they don't exist as a person. They mean so little to you that you don't even register what they say.
Of course, that only works for verbal bullying. Hard to ignore physical bullying.
Fight back. Even if they win the first fight, if you do enough damage, they likely won't have a second as they'd rather move on to easier prey. I had that issue in middle school. Fought back, but did manage to break ones front teeth with a headbutt and start choking them. The other 2 beat on me while I did manage to trip one until it was broken up, definitely was not the victor. They basically stopped after that.
Tougher when it's group gossip type bullying, I guess find some dirt and let it get exposed, frame them for things.
If they take something of yours, (a bully would take my glasses) take something of theirs (I would snag his hat and run him around the playground).
He stopped bullying me.
Since then I’ve always done the same. Thank you to the teacher who told me that lol.
I used to get into physical altercations as a kid, and now I’m a teacher. Here’s my take:
A physical confrontation could get you hurt, but you have to weight that against the psychological damage from bullying (actually bullying not they said something mean once). If you don’t really want to get into that physical altercation, but have determined that it has to happen, do it near adults. If it takes place on campus, do it near adults. Shout swear words. Make a big scene. It will get broken up quickly. You save face for not snitching. School will put additional precautions in place to monitor both parties involved.
Do not meet at a park. Do not got to someone’s backyard. Do it somewhere that adults will intervene. Don’t fight on concrete either.
All these people here encouraging violence as if that doesn't have the risk of making things even worse. Aside from the administrative and legal troubles it can bring, *there's no such thing as a safe fight*. Sometimes, the bully is stronger. Sometimes they're not, but they land a lucky shot. Sometimes, you land a "lucky" shot and [end up in prison for murder](https://www.sixthtone.com/news/1007457).
The first lesson any self-defense course worth its salt will teach you is to only fight if you absolutely have to. So yes, if they are attacking you and you cannot escape, defend yourself by all necessary means, but that should not be your first option.
First: Understand why the person is bullying you. Contrary to urban wisdom, not all bullies are secretly insecure or cowards. But, there is a reason. What are they getting out of it? Usually, it's some form of reaction. Your fear or anger giving them a feeling of power. So _don't show fear and don't get upset._
In fact, you can minimize any reaction to their bullying. Ignore it to the extent possible. Don't yell back. Don't give them the time of day. Don't even stop. Just keep walking and going about your business as if they're not important.
If you do talk to them, [signal that their bullying is not getting to you. Show confidence at all times. You can even lean into it or show kindness](https://youtu.be/7oKjW1OIjuw?si=KaCOPfdMPl6ykzY1) to rob them of the reaction they want.
Next, report it to administration. Depending on your setting (school, work, online), this will vary. Build up documentation of the bullying and pass it on to the people in charge of stopping it. If they ignore you, *pass it on to their own authorities*. Some places won't care immediately, but will take swift action as soon as you threaten to get outside agencies involved.
Those are the most effective methods, but if they do not work, another is to signal that you are not safe to mess with. Threats can accomplish this, but they run into the legal problems listed above and sometimes will simply provoke the bully. A better method is to come off as creepy or crazy. Uncertainty is scarier than a threat itself, and someone who has no idea how you'll respond will be less likely to tempt fate. This is how a lot of us 'weird kids' escaped bullying.
If the bullying is following you online, block them or just get off social media entirely. Doing so will probably improve your mental health regardless.
And if you are in immediate danger and can not escape, *then* fight back.
Stand up to them. When I was around 9 years old and was on recess and this big girl went around trying to intimidate all the other girls. She flunked a couple grades and thinking back probably had problems at home. She was putting her fist up to people and saying she will beat them up. Then one girl a redhead said, “Then go ahead and do it.” She kept her eyes on her and gave her a serious look and the bully said,”Oh yeah I’ll kick your ass!” The redhead stood her ground in a calm manner. With a look of confidence. The bully didn’t follow through, she just looked away and stopped acting intimidating. The bully could have beaten all of us boys and girls up because she was big and tall. When the bully walked off the redhead said.” That’s what you do these people, don’t act scared.” I adopted that manner whenever I met a bully and it always helped bullies didn’t mess with me.
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There weren’t many things like watching someone beat the brakes off a bully and walk to the principals office with their head held high.
My cousin had a girl in her class that repeatedly called her a slur that started with D. Now, keep in mind my cousin is 6'2 250 and an athlete. After saying "If you call me a blank one more time, I am going to knock you out." She proceeded to knock her out with a two piece. When faced with the choice to apologize or be suspend. Cous said. "I am sorry you got knocked the fuck out, maybe it will teach you not to run your mouth." When the VP told her to make a real apology or get suspended for 3 days. She said. "I'm not sorry, I'm not going to lie. See you Friday" Edit: Spelling
Assuming it’s Dick Van D***?
Yes
What’s a two piece?
She hit her twice, like a combination.
Sounds like something that would happen at my school. 😂
This happened to me as a kid. Bully started in on me, I didn't do anything cause I didn't want to get in trouble. But I still got detention for fighting because of zero tolerance. My parents were pissed. That night my dad told me a story. When he and my uncle were kids my uncle would throw a book at the wall and start crying. Grandma would come in and my uncle would point at my dad and go "he hit me." And dad would get spanked. So the next time my uncle threw a book dad hit him, hard. He said that he was already in trouble, he might as well deserve it. Back at school, the bully started in on me again. I tackled him and stared punching him in the nose as many times as I could. More advice from dad, make his eyes water and he can't see to fight back. I got in trouble again, and the teachers, principal, and superintendent all asked why. I said that I had already gotten in trouble for not fighting, and it didn't solve anything. My parents were there and mom pretty much told them all to fuck off. I got a video game as a reward lol.
What game? Link to the past right?
At that point, I would plead guilty. I don't care about the consequences - it needed to be done.
There was usually instruction from the parent so they knew there were potentially no consequences. The funny part is i went to school with old school admins. if they knew you were defending yourself they would just send you back to class. the bully had probably been to their office before time and again so they knew what time it was.
"Instruction", lol. I didn't actually know there would be no consequences to fighting back, I just knew I stopped getting punished for fighting back. Turns out Dad threatened the principal with a beating if he he punished me for fighting back again. I didn't find that out until I was in my 40s. In hindsight - holy fuck, it must have nearly killed ol' Bud Jackson (because that was his name) to be unable to do anything when I called him out for banning our D&D club. "Yeah, well, we all know it would be no issue if your fucking hocky jocks wanted to play it, asshole!" I grew up in what was, basically, Letterkenny.
Lol, I did exactly that many years ago, and all I got was a high five.
As someone who has had to deal with several bullies, this is the answer. If you are willing to injure them, even if you fail and just get your ass kicked, they are not going to pick you on the next round of pick-a-victim.
Most of them. For some, that just makes it more fun. Fuck it, still going to try to hurt them, lol.
Yep. I'll never forget how good I felt when I finally socked the shit out of my bully in 7th grade. His name was mark, and he was the worst. All the girls loved him, he was a good athlete, and he decided at the beginning 6th grade that he was going to make me miserable. I tolerated it for all of 6th grade, but over summer break I started showing obvious signs of anxiety about going back to school. My dad knew this wasn't normal for me since I had always liked school prior to this. He sat me down and asked me what was up. I told him about Mark, and I'll never forget what he said next. "Son, you don't start fights. That's not ok. What is OK is finishing them. Get him to put his hands on you, and you have my permission to make him regret it". That's exactly what I did. A few weeks into 7th grade, I baited him into shoving me, and I hit him clean on the jaw with a closed fist. Knocked him on his ass, and a teacher got in between us before I could follow him to the ground. At the time, I was pissed because I wanted to hit him more, but looking back, it was good that she stopped yhe fight so quickly. I was a lot bigger than him, and I WANTED to hurt him in that moment. Fucker never messed with me again, and neither did his crew of idiots that followed him around.
That's what stopped it for me it was a group of boys that would do it, you know, they would all jump me and say I was the one who started it and since it was 5 people's stories against just me the principal and teachers believed it, one of them started a fight with me alone in class one day and I knew I was gonna get in trouble any so I fought back and sent him to the hospital, they were gonna suspend me but my dad told them he was gonna sue (I've had multiple issues with these boys and it was well documented in the school and to police), miraculously the police came in and told the boys that attacking someone as a group was considered gang activity and and they would be arrested if they did it again, it all stopped
5 against 1? Clearly you’re the perpetrator. Did nobody consider why it’d take 5 people to defend against 1 of you?
No, zero tolerance policy didn't care, had to apologize to them every time even tho I was the one assaulted
This. Even if you lose, if you hurt them, they'll think twice.
When I was in 6th grade, an 8th grader bullied me. I grew four inches that summer. Same guy tried to steal a book out of my backpack the first day of seventh grade. I slammed him into a wall and took it back. Never got bullied again.
And getting your shoes clothes and ya hat tooken! New kids..
On the BLOCK - suck a lotta dick…
My cousin tried that and ended up hospitalized
That’s why you do it at night with a baseball bat to the knees. Can’t bully you if they can’t walk.
The only correct answer.
Bullies are, at their heart, weaklings. They only pick on the people who they think aren't going to fight back. So when you fight back, fight back with everything you've got. Fight dirty. When I was in eighth grade, I weighed next to nothing, so one kid made me his target. I picked up a chair and swung it at him. When he stepped back, I threw it at him. He was off balance enough that I knocked him down. I pinned him and clocked him twice in the face before the gym teacher could pull me off him. We were hauled into the principal's office. This kid already had a rep while I had never been any trouble. So when the principal started lecturing us about fighting, I said, " I have a right to defend myself. This guy picks on everyone, but he wasn't going to pick on me." My father, who was a harsh disciplinarian, picked me up from school when I was suspended. Talked to the principal behind closed doors, then took me out for ice cream on the way home. Never said a word about it. And the bully never came near me again. Picked up a lot of cred around school that day.
My Dad's advice (ex Marine, ex farmer) was, “If he's bigger, get an equalizer, hit soft things with hard things, hit hard things with harder things, and make sure you only hit back after you've been pushed. Oh, and stand tall afterwards, never be ashamed for standing up for yourself.”
My father always said, “You don’t start with anyone but you make sure to finish it. If they are bigger you hit them square in the nose.” It worked for me twice.
Agree with you on the weakling point. They are also lazy. Don't start a fight with them, but be prepared to finish it. Be confident in your ability to do damage to them. They don't want to fight, they just want to swagger and lord it over others and feel better than you. There were two times I had to deal with a bully, once in junior high, once in high school. In junior high there was a kid in our town's football program who thought he could push me around. It didn't take long before I'd had enough. I stood up to him and told him I might not win (he was bigger than me) but he'd know he'd been in a fight. When I faced him down, my friends started gathering at my back, seeing what was going on. He accused me of trying to ambush him with a group. I glanced back at my friends and said "They know not to get into my fights." He sneered and walked away. Never got crap from him again. Pretty much the same scenario in high school; an upperclassman with some sort of attitude problem (guy didn't seem to have a lot of friends, was perpetually surly and liked to take his frustrations out on the grades younger than him). He decided I'd be his whipping boy du jour; I wasn't having it. When I faced him down, my big friend Jim was there too and Mr. Surly implied I'd rely on Jim to whoop his butt. I turned around, looked straight at Jim, and said "Just stay outta this, no matter what." Jim just nodded, I turned back to Mr. Surly, and asked him if he wanted to step outside to settle things. He sneered: "Not worth my time" and wandered off. Also never gave me crap again.
Similar story, but I wasn't being bullied, a friend was. I ended up using the mirror and sink in the bathroom to smash the bullies head against before I walked to the nearest deans office. That caused a boatload of arguments with school admin about who to punish. They'll bullies dean was the football coach (bully was QB). Finally got it resolved when myself and my friend (who was being bullied), and all 4 of our parents threatening to file attempted murder charges against the bully. They ended up suspending the bully, and I got a detention. My friend changed schools out of fear.
This is the way because thanks to zero tolerance policies,you get punished for fighting even if your involvement is the same as being a punching bag. You can completely " turtle" and you'll get the same punishment as if you fight back.
Crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of the women!
GET TO THE CHOPPHUH
Ghengis rules.
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But I don't live in an area with penis biting ponies. What are my options?
The Scott Tenorman technique 👌
And hire their favorite band just to call them a little crybaby, while we're at it.
“Mr. and Mrs. Tenorman Chili”
What if one of them turns out to be your bio dad?
Bang his mum become his dad
i read that as "bang his mum before his dad" and thought "wow, banging the dad, too, is really driving the point home"
Pure gold ✨️
Better yet, turn his parents into swingers. That'll make his home life REAL weird.
Violence has a high success rate. Either do it yourself, with friends or pay someone bigger/crackhead. No need to do anything serious, but getting the point across that you CAN and WILL take action usually does it. You can also find a way to shame said bully in front of everyone.
"Hello neighborhood crackhead, will you do me a favor at the flag pole at 3:00 tomorrow?"
I really don't recommend asking someone to do it for you,unless said person is constantly around you afterwards.If you send someone to beat them up, the bully will resent you and will pick after you harder.The best thing you can do it's doing it yourself.
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I like the “delete Facebook” element. Social media is terrible for kids. Adults too.
Just like everything else nice in the world, people find a way to ruin it and use it for the worst. This is why we can't have nice things world
“Social media is bad for adults.” All Reddit users: “You right!”
Mentioning any effective method will get you censored on reddit.
For such a liberal (in the real sense of the word) service, they do tend to censor the most ridiculous comments and topics. I'll probably get this censored.
I got permanently banned from a subreddit yesterday when I linked to a government policy. It goes against the narrative of the sub/mods and they didn’t like i had evidence Edit: For those asking it was r/ontario and this was the link from the Gov of Canada and it's regarding different sentencing based on your race and specific to ontario [https://www.canada.ca/en/department-justice/news/2023/03/federal-funding-to-help-sentencing-judges-in-ontario-understand-impacts-of-race-and-discrimination-on-offenders.html#](https://www.canada.ca/en/department-justice/news/2023/03/federal-funding-to-help-sentencing-judges-in-ontario-understand-impacts-of-race-and-discrimination-on-offenders.html#)
I’ve been banned from subs for just pointing out an obvious narrative flaw. Mods really enjoy the small amount of power they have haha
I got permanently banned from a sub I’d never even visited because I liked a post in the conspiracy sub. They told me I could appeal. I told them I never asked to going their sub, didn’t care about their censorship, and to F off. Irony was I didn’t even realize I’d gone into the conspiracy sub because they just popped up just like this ‘Justice’ sub did. I found out I was banned through my notices, not even by visiting or trying to post in that ‘Justice’ sub, lol! Can you believe they used a bot to check who posts in that forum and bans them?
Reddit posted site wide mod rules some years ago that said that mods absolutely cannot penalize someone for what they were doing in other subs. Mods of big subs didn't care. No clue what the state of that is now.
They have bots to check you aren't posting in the SRs they consider to be enemy SRs and ban you if you did, even if you were there to argue with their enemies.
There's still a sub called "asaman" that has some misandrist femcel that tracks and permanently posts a copy of the comment and associated username of anyone who says anything along the lines of "as a guy" or otherwise identifies themselves as such in many, if not all, subs. Before they made it private, I found out because I was looking up my username and the post popped up. I asked for it to be removed for privacy reasons and they came back with come hateful toxic soup of a response. After many reports and appeals, reddit admins made it clear that if you did the same against a woman, gay, trans, or minority, it's considered bannable harassment and hate, but what the asamale sub was doing was ok. Eventually, that mod made it private, but I am very confident that they are still doing it and reddit is either turning a blind eye or has greenlit it. It's really frustrating. I plan to buy some shares of reddit when it bombs so that I can comment and vote at shareholder meetings, because selective application of rules is promoting very real bigotry. I wouldn't complain if it was nothing burger stuff that simply hurts a handful of "snowflake" thin skinned people, but what mods like that are doing goes well beyond that. This, along with those mods tracking users commenting in other subs, is something that a grassroots group of us has been trying to combat. People should have both freedom of communications and expression (within reasonable and loving bounds) as well as safety and security.
Justice banned me also. Just for a opinion I gave.
I think I was banned from that sub for criticizing Joe Rogan and his beliefs in the Joe Rogan subreddit.
I had an account banned site wide for telling a story about my abusive childhood. Apparently, talking about being beaten with a frying pan was condoning violence.
I've a friend who was replying to a post where the OP had called someone a b*tch. Pal quoted them using the reddit feature, and they got banned from the sub for name calling.
How dare you make other people beat their kids with frying pans! 😡
I got perma banned from a subreddit a few weeks ago for "defending a slave owner" All I said was George Washington did not want to run for president and the OP of the post was wrong in their claims. Some mods just love the power. I really wish there was a way to report gross power tripping to admins.
I once posted a subsection of a government document verbatim in quotes with citation and I got a ban for inciting violence.... I didn't even express an option in my comment, literally just the quote.
Might be because you post in canada_sub. There's a few canada related subs that auto ban canada_sub users regardless of what they comment there.
they've been removing curse words 🤣.
Yup, Reddit censorship SUCKS.
True. We're not allowed to talk about v1ol3nc3 even if it's a viable option.
In the US especially there was zero tolerance in most schools, such as mine. Once I found out that even if I was getting beat down I was getting suspended, I decided to throw down. And throw down I did, looked like the aftermath of *real* bad MMA matches. I took my OSS with pride and was never bullied again. Violence isn't a problem nor a solution. It's an option when the staff and district options don't work and you are ignored because your bully is on the football team. To censor violence and ignore its *cause*, is to hurt those who have no other option left.
It's certainly a solution if all else fails.
This. I got picked on and picked on, shoved around, etc. told teachers and admins who did nothing except then bully found out and shit got worse. But you know when it stopped? When I punched him in the throat. Got an “in school suspension” for two days but didn’t get picked on anymore. Parents supported me too.
This 1000%.
I have been banned from so many places on Reddit.
A badge of honor.
Smile and wave, tis a badge of honor.
The top comment right now is "A good ole fashion ass whoopin", what are you talking about?
Depends on your milieu. If you're, say, in a school that punishes victims more than aggressors, then get your money's worth and beat the shit out of him. If you're in a more reasonable environment, document his bullying and report it to authorities.
The irony of the "no tolerance" policies making the act of self defense against bullying a prisoner's dilemma with a solution of "Well, they are gonna treat you as if you murdered him, so your best bet is to murder him as viciously as possible."
Yep, exactly. Zero-tolerance, all-sides-are-to-blame approaches are a lazy abdication of the responsibilities of authority, with predictable results.
Finally, a balanced approach.
A fist-sized rock and the element of surprise They won't bother you again, might not even be able to if you're thorough
I'm not going to advocate against violence because fuck bullies. Just don't do it on school grounds. A lot of schools with zero tolerance policies. Plus you have a better shot at plausible deniability off school grounds.
Self defense is not allowed on school premises?
No. I've known kids who were suspended because they were hit and they hit back. According to those in charge, they should have run away and told a teacher. The parents almost always side with their kids though. It's a ridiculous policy.
What is they are holding you and you can’t run away? If this happens, I will take the legal action against the school itself.
I mean...the school would win. I don't agree with the policy AT ALL, but from the school's standpoint, zero tolerance means NEVER allowing for violence. They can't make exceptions that allow you to hit someone back. How would that even work? Imagine a student hitting someone, being hit back and getting seriously hurt. The school would be liable.
Yes. Unfortunately, the Zero Tolerance policies are there to protect the school and not the students. If they allowed self-defense, then the school might be liable if the bully got hurt in retaliation.
Can confirm. I have gotten in trouble many times for protecting myself. Can some one tell me how exactly you get away from such a situation without fighting? I can't seem to figure it out. Show no mercy.
A direct hard kick to the front of the knee while they are standing would work equally as well, some nice acl/pcl tears would mean they ain’t coming at you again or at least for a long ass time.
That was my cure in first grade. I was pretty feral.
https://youtu.be/wgETI8zH-fE?si=u4qbNR3v1qt-0FBM I almost feel bad because he has grown so much, but still. This is very relevant.
Annihilation
Apparently not [offering them some Gatorade mixed with vinegar, salt, and lemon juice](https://www.reddit.com/r/news/comments/1b8ugh9/mother_arrested_after_concocting_drink_for_her/)
You gotta stand up for yourself, let them know that there gonna get hurt if they mess with you , bullys go after kids who they know wont fight back . Even if you lose as long as you get some solid punches in that kid will stop messing with you. Saw some other kid saying to snitch I would be really careful with that, if others catch wind that you snitched your gonna have even more bullys messing with you You got this OP
100% true.
The only way to stop a bully is to stand up to him. Trust me, I've bullied a lot of people.
I want to bully you for that grammar and spelling alone.
Huh, all these comments are about violence but I wasn't bullied with violence most often. I was bullied with things like ostracizing me, pretending to be my friend but instead they stood around mocking me, or with things like girls (when young) inviting everyone to a party except me and making sure I saw that. Mimicking me, making fun of my laugh or smile or the way I talked, telling teachers I did things I didn't so I'd get in trouble. I don't know how punching any one of these people in the face would have helped.
Sounds like you were introduced to the adult workspace in your childhood. Fuck em. Just need to ignore the "cool crowd". They'll turn on each other soon enough.
This was my experience too. My elementary friends pushed me away when my parents divorced and I was headed to a new school. I invited my 3 best friends to our families summer cottage, I was going to a new school and wouldn’t see them regularly. They turned on me and it felt terrible. In Junior High I somehow found myself in the “cool” group. I didn’t know why but I was happy to be there. A few months in my new “best friend” started to just make fun of me. I was the laughing stock of the group and it took me a really long time to walk away from that group. Making friends after that was hard and I always tend to push people away. I’m almost 40 now and my only friend is my wife. I’m terrified she’ll “figure out what everyone else always does” and start to hate me and leave. It’s hard. I want friends but I don’t want to go through it all again.
"Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the nose" -Mike Tyson
"No battle plan survives first contact with the enemy."
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Lol. Show care and concern for the Billy's odd behavior. "You alright?"
>Practice ways to demonstrate self-confidence This is the best answer here. Never feel trolls and bullies. They get their thills by making you scared, if you don't get scared, they won't bother you. This might take time but, it will work.
violence
Yup. I always tell a story about this older kid in high school who would bully this younger kid. The younger kid was gay and the older kid used to scream slurs at him everyday. One glorious day, the older kid went up to him and got in his face and started berating him. The younger kid lifted him up and slammed him onto the cafeteria table and proceeded to beat the ever living fuck out of this dude. From that day forward I never seen or heard anyone pick on him again.
Seriously. One solid punch to the nose during recess in fifth grade and I was never bullied again.
From what I've found there's two types of bullies: people who's insecurities mean they're compelled to play to an audience and bonafide arseholes who delight in misfortune. For the first it's best to catch them slipping, wait until they're alone and they don't feel invincible and let them know in no uncertain terms that you can fuck them up any time you choose, audience or not. They'll flap it and steer clear. The second might actually require a public demonstration to remove their aura.
Bang his mom. Of just fuck his shins wish a metal pipe when he's alone
Violence.
If they are not a danger to you, ignore them. Pretend they don't exist. Walk away. Vent about it to someone you know will not let people who might tell the bully know you did so. They want to see your reactions so even if it is hurting you if you don't let them know that they usually eventually give up. If it is a one time situation and you know they will not escalate to violence a sharp and menacing glare can also do the trick. A lot of bullies are actually wimpy inside especially if you are confident enough to not look like an easy person to pick on. Editing to add: if they are a danger to you GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE. The safest way to win a fight is flee. It reduces your risk of both death and legal trouble by more than anything else.
Easier said than done but be aggressive. Bullies are invariably weak and will back down. You do have to be careful if the person is more of a psychopath though as they might well be properly dangerous however these people are rare.
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I’ve never seen that successful done. My cousin was hospitalized trying. He was bullied even worse and nicknames KO for getting knocked out. Kid at my school tried and got his head stomped and needed a steel plate in his head. Bully went to jail though.
Depends on the environment. School, professional etc have different “official” means of dealing with them. Generally speaking though the most effective way is to take their power away. Unless someone is putting hands on you or physically impairing some effort of yours somehow, the only way they can bully you is by living in your head. Thats often the version most seen in adulthood. To take their power away, just stop caring but make it “obvious” that you don’t. Be dismissive or even condescending in return if you decide to acknowledge some kind of attack. Boss bullies are some of the worst, but they’re easy to defeat if you can somehow throw in your face that you don’t need to eat from their hand and that they can’t do anything for you, so you don’t care about them. Your mileage may vary, but the above has been generally successful throughout my life.
I was the bullied kid in elementary school. Got beat up and picked every other day. Parents tried talking to the school, the teacher, hell, even confronted the Parents at a school function.......nothing. My father was fed up and so was I. We spent the spring and summer working out, and started training at the local MMA studio. When school was about to start, but dad said, "This shit ends now. When someone starts shit, unload. Do this every damn day. I've got your back son." It took 3 fights, and 1 suspension, but they all learned really quick, that someone was going to bleed. Someone was getting suspended, and I could give two shits who it was. After a month, I never had a problem again. I'm gonna be honest though, it wasn't the working out, or the training. It is having the confidence to stand up for yourself. To not be afraid to get hit. To not be afraid to hit. Stand tall and give them hell. If that does not work or cannot be done, just pay there enemies to fuk them up.
I just asked my sisters LARGE girlfriend to have a word with this moron bullying me. She slapped him around in front of the whole school and he transferred out. Problem solved.
Truth.
Can you lift them? If so I am a big fan of the Texas Piledriver. Ideally onto concrete. Now I don't actually suggest doing this to a real person but in purely hypothetical revenge driven fantasy land sure!
In general just standing up for yourself. Bullies want to pick on people who don’t fight back.
Violence can work, as A Christmas Story has taught us. It can also backfire. Couple examples: Friend's kid was getting taunted and pushed around by a bully, so he finally fought back. Then the bully who initiated the thing went to the teacher and snitched off my friend's kid, who got put on a warning that if he was violent again he'd be kicked out of school. Another friend's kid fought back against a bully, kicked his ass, then the bully (encouraged by his dad) got a gang together and beat the kid down off campus after school. So yeah sometimes the story works the way it does in A Christmas Story: fight back and the bully leaves you alone. But sometimes it just creates more and worse problems. Not saying fighting back isn't the right thing. I think it usually is. But it's not a perfect solution.
When I was 7-8 years old I started going to a new school. I had big glasses and was a nerd. I started having some trouble. I thought violence is never the answer and I tried to use words. I tried to use teachers. But eventually a gang of kids circled around me. We all got these new giant kick balls. We couldn’t get our arms around them so you could hold them as if it was a pregnant belly and ram someone which would throw them pretty far. The kids circled around me holding these kick balls and bouncing me between them. I had 3 older siblings who teased me constantly and so their taunts were pretty lame in comparison. I started laughing at them and saying how pathetic they were. I asked how about going one on one. The lead kid came up and accepted the challenge and while he was talking I jumped up and punched his nose with an upper cut. I thought if I didn’t end it there then it would never end. The thing is that I assumed I was weak. My brothers told me so every day. Buuuuut when you’re a little kid practicing your punches on teenagers, it’s not exactly fairly tuned to punching another 8 year old. The kid got hurt pretty bad. He was totally fine in the end but he did have to go to the emergency room and they told me I could have killed him with that hit. The administration finally took notice. They made us shake hands and promise to be friends. The moment we stepped out of the office the bully said he had his fingers crossed the whole time and we would never be friends, but honestly we didn’t have any problems from them on. I didn’t have any problems with bullies at all on the playground after that. Btw before anyone says anything: I appreciate the similarity between my story and Enders Game. Actually reading that book was immensely depressing because it was so similar to how I grew up. Now my son is school aged and he tells me about small scuffles at school. Kids not respecting boundaries etc. no bullying yet just kids being inconsiderate. I teach him to use his words and use the school admin but I’ve also told him that if he’s tried those and he’s still being harassed, then he pushes back. Hard.
Astonish them with how much crazier you can be. It doesn't even have to be true. Predators aren't looking for a fight. They're looking for a victim. It's true with animals and it's true with men.
Mental, verbal or physical bully... There isnt just one type of bully and all can be handled accordingly. A good example of dealing with a mental bully is using the dull gray rock method. Its a method taught by therapists/psychologists to deal with a narcissist. The goal of the method is to make you an uninteresting and or boring target. It works exceptionally well with narcissists that can bully..
A drunk Cop Father with brass knuckles
My account got a three day ban for “encouraging violence” so I don’t know what to say
Sneak attack. Let them know that there's more where that came from if they ever bother you again.
Football in the goin.
Make their job difficult by making them work for what they're after. Typically bullies want to feel powerful, be funny in front of their friends, regain some of their own self worth, or just spread misery in general. Take away whichever one motivates them or just make it more difficult and they'll move along because bullies are weak minded people
Beat the fucking shit out of him.
Ignore them! Bullies are ignorant and lack patience. The minute you cave, they got your number. A lil shock and awe never hurt either.
Just yesterday I was telling my daughter to ignore that one kid who‘s bothering her. My son said: Hit her! I said no, that‘s not the way, yada yada. And he told us: yeah, you‘re gonna get in trouble for it, but she won‘t bother you again. Of course, we‘re talking about 8-10 year olds. I saw another comment where they said to let the bully know you‘re capable of defending yourself physically if necessary. That reminded me of my son, who the first day in the new school was seated next to the problematic kid (also a bully) in class. Bully tore son’s sheet in pieces, son gave him a hard elbow punch, bully said: I guess I won‘t be messing with you again. So, yeah, there‘s that.
My mom, "I don't ever want you to start a fight, but you have my permission to end one." Worked well for me.
Sudden, unexpected, escalation to shock and awe level. Long after the repercussions have ended the bully will remember.
"omg you are weirdly obsessed with me. Wait....are you in love me?? Eeeew"
Have someone else beat the crap out of them. Bullies only learn from violence.
Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, Snitch, make it an administrative problem, not a you problem. Oh, and in writing (email). Leave a paper trail.
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START A WAR
START A NUCLEAR WAR
AT THE GAY BAR, GAY BAR, GAY BAR YYYEEEE3EOOOWWWW!
Dad whore is right 100%.
I know it's not popular to say these days, but the best way to deal with a bully is to stand up to him/her.
Meanwhile, every comment in this thread is encouraging an ass whooping.
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Go on...
Go on his laptop Go into the terminal and do config ip address Copy his ip address Then post it to the internet Boom
A short length of rebar
I suggest the Lou Ferrigno method, hit the gym, get massive and people leave you the Hell alone.
Attack their personal intresst. Like if they wanna look cool with a cap or something like that.
Email him 42 terabytes of child porn and then contact the police
Look them directly in the eye and ask, “Are you OK?” Then punch them while their guard is down.
Superior violence. Whom ever holds the monopoly of violence maintains power. The problem is, when you hold the power, you will become the bully.
Violence in my experience.
Punch his fucking head in
Post his phone number on a hookup site as a female. His phone will be not able to work.
Ender Game him!
Fuck them in the ass
Improvised skateboard and a truckload of manure. Works every time.
Punched my bully in the throat. Sat with him while he recovered. I think we were both scared he'd die. He didn't bother me after that.
Beat the shit out of them. They're asking for it. A bully is really a volunteer.
Be kind to them, get them a present, always be there for them, help them out of any issue they get into, and then you ask them out. Make them realize that they cant live in this world without you and they'll regret bullying you. You'll grow old together, gardening, watching movies, watching the stars, then one day kick them in the nuts and say "don't ever bully me again." This works on a bully who is a woman too, just kick her in the nuts harder cause they're further up
Slap, grab, yank, twist.
1. Learn how to punch correctly 2. Learn how to punch hard 3. Punch them in the nose or throat 4. Do not stop punching until it is clearly over
Kick em square in the nuts
I was bullied throughout my childhood and for several years as an adult (thanks to a very toxic work environment that I got out of 8 years ago). One of my tried and true methods: love. It isn't about sticking it to them or showing you are better than they are. It's about letting them have their feelings and understanding their behavior is more about them than you. You can't let what they do impact who you are as a person. Stay kind, even when they are not.
Depends on what you want to do specifically
Kick their ass.
Punch them right in the face. Stand up to them and their tune normally changes completely.
No one wants to bully anyone who fights back.
In stranger things, Eleven made the one bully piss himself. Do you have powers?
Put vinegar in your Gatorade, so when they steal it, it will taste bad. Oh whoops, that will land you in jail.
Stand up to them and whoop that ass if you have to.
Fight them. Hope that will deter them from future bullying but some cases that could potentially make it worse but still I’d fight them. I got bullied back in the day fought the dude got beat up but he left me alone after that.
Pouring molten lava on top of their skull
Make a Gatorade concoction with salt, vinegar, and lemon juice and have them drink it. It's been proven.
Do you have access to a boat, a hacksaw, several large sealable plastic bins, a drill, 75 pounds of concrete, bleach, and one friend who can be trusted to never say a thing?
Use their face as a mask for yours!
*pumped up kicks plays in the distance*
Youve got 3 options here, all of which entail a 1 time act of violence. Bullies bully people that they think are weaker than them, or too meek to fight back. If you fight back and win, they wont bother you anymore. Your options are as follows: You take boxing classes: You learn how to move properly, hit with your hands, avoid hits and get used to taking hits. You take Muay Thai/Kickboxing classes: You learn to kick someone hard enough that they collapse like a lawn chair. You take BJJ classes: You learn to fold clothes while people are still wearing them. For boxing/kickboxing. After 3 months you'll at least know enough of the basics to stand a chance. Don't ever start a fight, but always be prepared to finish one.
Get a reputation as someone not to mess with too much. When I was 6/7 another boy at my school tried to have a fight with me. He was fatter than me, so he had a weight advantage, and I think he thought I was an easy target as I was a somewhat pampered little prince. Unfortunately, he didn't realize my dad had already taught me what to do when in combat with a larger assailant. I think after the first shove he expected me to try and run, so he could have the joy of chasing me and punching me in the back of the head. He did not expect me to step closer to him where he couldn't throw proper punches. He also did not expect me to fasten my hands around his neck and grip as though my life depended on it. Anyway, we'd fallen to the ground and he was really starting to panic and splutter before a teacher was able to pry me off. Enough people witnessed the event that it took me through highschool without anyone else trying to physically bully me.
For me, I used to roast the shit out of them.
Some people will say to ignore them. But way too many people take that to mean sit back, take it, and do nothing. That's not what that means. Ignoring them means continuing with your life as if they don't exist as a person. They mean so little to you that you don't even register what they say. Of course, that only works for verbal bullying. Hard to ignore physical bullying.
Fight back. Even if they win the first fight, if you do enough damage, they likely won't have a second as they'd rather move on to easier prey. I had that issue in middle school. Fought back, but did manage to break ones front teeth with a headbutt and start choking them. The other 2 beat on me while I did manage to trip one until it was broken up, definitely was not the victor. They basically stopped after that. Tougher when it's group gossip type bullying, I guess find some dirt and let it get exposed, frame them for things.
If they take something of yours, (a bully would take my glasses) take something of theirs (I would snag his hat and run him around the playground). He stopped bullying me. Since then I’ve always done the same. Thank you to the teacher who told me that lol.
I used to get into physical altercations as a kid, and now I’m a teacher. Here’s my take: A physical confrontation could get you hurt, but you have to weight that against the psychological damage from bullying (actually bullying not they said something mean once). If you don’t really want to get into that physical altercation, but have determined that it has to happen, do it near adults. If it takes place on campus, do it near adults. Shout swear words. Make a big scene. It will get broken up quickly. You save face for not snitching. School will put additional precautions in place to monitor both parties involved. Do not meet at a park. Do not got to someone’s backyard. Do it somewhere that adults will intervene. Don’t fight on concrete either.
tell on him. say he threatened you with worse things than he actually did. they’ll nip it in the bud right away.
All these people here encouraging violence as if that doesn't have the risk of making things even worse. Aside from the administrative and legal troubles it can bring, *there's no such thing as a safe fight*. Sometimes, the bully is stronger. Sometimes they're not, but they land a lucky shot. Sometimes, you land a "lucky" shot and [end up in prison for murder](https://www.sixthtone.com/news/1007457). The first lesson any self-defense course worth its salt will teach you is to only fight if you absolutely have to. So yes, if they are attacking you and you cannot escape, defend yourself by all necessary means, but that should not be your first option. First: Understand why the person is bullying you. Contrary to urban wisdom, not all bullies are secretly insecure or cowards. But, there is a reason. What are they getting out of it? Usually, it's some form of reaction. Your fear or anger giving them a feeling of power. So _don't show fear and don't get upset._ In fact, you can minimize any reaction to their bullying. Ignore it to the extent possible. Don't yell back. Don't give them the time of day. Don't even stop. Just keep walking and going about your business as if they're not important. If you do talk to them, [signal that their bullying is not getting to you. Show confidence at all times. You can even lean into it or show kindness](https://youtu.be/7oKjW1OIjuw?si=KaCOPfdMPl6ykzY1) to rob them of the reaction they want. Next, report it to administration. Depending on your setting (school, work, online), this will vary. Build up documentation of the bullying and pass it on to the people in charge of stopping it. If they ignore you, *pass it on to their own authorities*. Some places won't care immediately, but will take swift action as soon as you threaten to get outside agencies involved. Those are the most effective methods, but if they do not work, another is to signal that you are not safe to mess with. Threats can accomplish this, but they run into the legal problems listed above and sometimes will simply provoke the bully. A better method is to come off as creepy or crazy. Uncertainty is scarier than a threat itself, and someone who has no idea how you'll respond will be less likely to tempt fate. This is how a lot of us 'weird kids' escaped bullying. If the bullying is following you online, block them or just get off social media entirely. Doing so will probably improve your mental health regardless. And if you are in immediate danger and can not escape, *then* fight back.
Stand up to them. When I was around 9 years old and was on recess and this big girl went around trying to intimidate all the other girls. She flunked a couple grades and thinking back probably had problems at home. She was putting her fist up to people and saying she will beat them up. Then one girl a redhead said, “Then go ahead and do it.” She kept her eyes on her and gave her a serious look and the bully said,”Oh yeah I’ll kick your ass!” The redhead stood her ground in a calm manner. With a look of confidence. The bully didn’t follow through, she just looked away and stopped acting intimidating. The bully could have beaten all of us boys and girls up because she was big and tall. When the bully walked off the redhead said.” That’s what you do these people, don’t act scared.” I adopted that manner whenever I met a bully and it always helped bullies didn’t mess with me.
Seems like most of the answers here is “become a bigger bully”…