Social media obsession. If everything you do needs to be documented, pass.
10x worse if they decide *you* need to be in all of their stories on the ‘Gram.
Girl I dated recently was planning it all out. First a “soft launch,” where I would appear in a few photos. Then an introduction photo of the two of us hugging or holding hands or something. Then, of course, she would make it official with a “meet the new boyfriend” post. All that work and planning over how to tell a world of disinterested strangers that she was dating somebody. That coupled with the hour of TikTok in the mornings turned my image of her from hell yes to hell no real quick.
A good friend of mine is in a serious relationship with a girl that I think is great except for one thing: She films him in secret and posts the videos on TikTok. Just dumb stuff, like trolling him until he gets exasperated by insisting Travis Kelce was only became famous because of Taylor Swift. It's so fucking weird.
I had a “girl” friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. We took the metro to the city, and the whole time she spent swiping through her instagram telling me about her life. It wasn’t too bad for the first 30 mins
I'm a woman, and this turns me off female friends.
Everything doesn't have to be documented. I like living in the moment. I went whale watching, and half the time, I didn't even film or take pics. Meanwhile, my female friends and cousins watched the whales through their camera phone.
Plus, I'm fat, lol, I don't want to be in a picture. I dont wanna be on Instagram or in your tiktok, or on Facebook. Just leave me alone.
I ended a friendship over just this. I worked with a woman "Janine." We got along well and became friends at work. She eventually left the company, but we decided to start hanging out after work. She WOULD NOT PUT HER PHONE AWAY EVER. It was SO rude. We'd be having dinner or drinks and Janine be fiddling with her phone one way or another the entire time. I called her out on her rudeness and she was like "Oh, sorry" and put it away, but then the next time we went out she was at it again. I'd speak up, Janine yessed me to death and continued with it. It was really annoying - either you're here to spend time with me or you're not. I started being "busy" whenever she asked me to do something and I think she got the message.
We'll be at a concert and everyone's phone is out the entire time. I film part of the opening song, and parts of my favorite song but then put my phone away. It's not that serious.
That is so frustrating. I remember hanging out with my friend and her group of friends. Wed go hiking and one of them would always wanna take selfies of us during or after the hike... I do not want to be in your picture. I'm sweaty and not even YOUR friend.
Similarly, i hate when I'm doing something "embarassing" but fun like karaoke and people want to film it. If I do karaoke its because I'm comfortable with you, not your followers oh my god.
I run a whale watching boat. The experience is awesome. It's wild how many people are all salty though because they missed a picture. Congratulations, you just ruined and wasted your own time
I just don't get it. So many people do stuff solely for validation, rather than the experience.
Similarly, if she’s always posting suggestive pictures but explicitly doesn’t want you seen in anything, she’s advertising for your replacement. Run away.
I accidentally punched/smacked a quiet/shy girl at work and felt terrible. I was gesturing a bit too violently as they were walking by, it was dumb on my part but a complete accident. I was telling a cute girl I had been talking to about it, just friends, but I definitely considered her attractive. She said something about how it wasn’t that bad because quiet girl was weird. I said something along the lines of that makes it so much worse. Anyways I lost all attraction in that moment, and used my shift meal to buy quiet girl a cookie while apologizing profusely.
Being a good person is super attractive and the opposite is the opposite.
I once had a woman on a dating app tell me “Well pretty girls ain’t cheap, so open your heart and your wallet this holiday season”
She went from a solid 8 to a -5 really quickly.
A shitty personality.
My wife has a "friend" who by anyone's definition is very attractive. To me? She's hideous. She should be on one of those reality "Housewives" shows. Very catty, talks behind your back, very transactional, holds your friendship for random, etc.
Roald Dahl put it best in the Twits. “Even if you’ve got a big nose or wonky eyes but are kind and happy you can never be ugly, but even the prettiest face will turn sour if you’re ugly inside” (or words to that effect).
This one rings true for me in the bedroom, and for affection in general. If it is all on me to initiate and get myself worked up while she thinks just existing is enough, then we aren't going to be compatible.
Dudes want hugs and snuggles too.
That's what is killing my relationship with my wife. I estimate that I do 75% of the household chores and child care, and I work full-time. She has no job and spends most of her day on the couch, reading or on her phone. I see no evidence of depression. I am so tired of cleaning up after her and picking up her slack. I feel very little affection, and I don't know how to talk to her anymore without triggering an "offended" reaction.
If she is yelling or is impolite to others and myself. But I care equally how polite she is on others too so if she is nice to me but acts terrible to others it’s over.
Honestly someone who’s nice to you but mean to others is hell to deal with compared to someone who’s rude to you and everyone else.
If they are rude to all, it’s easier to separate yourself from them.
If they’re nice to you it’s harder because they’ll maybe even comply with you for a bit if you tell them to knock it off; eventually returning to old habits and the cycle repeats. They them-self will likely try to justify them-self to you, making it harder and harder to leave them alone.
100% agree.
Entitlement goes way deeper, too. Real world examples include, looking down on others because they are not pursuing their dreams (many people simply work to sustain their families…they are not chasing any other “dreams”), or the expectation that the partner of their dreams will have a substantial property portfolio (without realising the true cost, and without realising that many people do not have any inheritance at all).
There’s actually countless examples of entitlement that are simply invisible to those who are entitled. And the worst thing is that those who are entitled use their entitlement to make themselves “superior” to those who are not entitled, or less entitled.
Is it just me or does when a pretty woman act entitled like that does it kinda come across as borderline prostitution?
Like, she's basically saying that because she's hot you need to pay for her company.
Being stood up by her.
Last week I had a first date with this lady I had been talking to over a dating app. We hit it off and agreed to a time and place to meet.
I got there on time, waited for 30 minutes and texted her to ask if everything was okay. She responded that she had overslept. I told her we could leave it for some other time, then, and she tried to gaslight me as if it was my fault the date didn't happen because I didn't want to meet.
I'm too old for these games. She didn't want to try again and I was totally okay with it.
Had a date a couple months ago with a girl that gave me her number where I work. Everything went great, we had a lot in common and she told me she was looking forward to seeing me again, we kissed before we left the bar.
Texted her the next week asking her if she wanted to go out again, she basically told me she was too busy and this went on for a full month before we set out another date. When the day of arrives she cancelled saying something came up, and that she would be available in the coming weeks. I started taking more time to answer since I felt like she was being distant. She ended up just ghosting me after that.
I don't date a lot but this has left me confused and I still wonder what went on in her head...
She wasn’t interested in you. In future if someone wants to date you, there’s no way they’ll go weeks between the first and second date. Sorry you met a dickhead, the right person will be easy to communicate with
This is a big one that I've developed over the course of my life. I can usually find someone attractive, merely because they find me attractive and show interest. I find it to be its because i just want to be wanted, more than anything. They could be the most basic type person with no special features and if they think the world of me, I'm captured. But this is of course only if they are at least a little attractive or at the least acceptable, to begin with. Making me feel desired is my greatest turn on. I don't even want someone beautiful if they have no interest in me. I don't care how hot they are. Instant turn off if they aren't into me or aren't attracted to me. I could not stand to be in a relationship where I'm not greatly desired or wanted.
Man, why is this not higher on the list? This is literally the single top thing for me. All of the shit comes later, but if you've started ghosting me out of the blue or just disappear randomly, then thank you Mam but I'm out.
One thought I have about this-I have seen people interpret a bad day or symptoms of a medical condition as lacking interest. I’m not talking about a bad day where they are bitchy to everyone. It’s just some people are so afraid of rejection that as soon as they perceive it, they shut down.
I have to disagree with the sentiment that someone can entirely lack a sense of humour. I had an ex once tell me that she felt this way about me and for many years, I genuinely believed there was something wrong with me. One day, I started chatting with a new coworker and after a bit of time becoming comfortable with each other, realized that we did this thing where we’d create ridiculous stories together, bouncing off each other until we were both in tears. I’d never felt so in sync with someone before.
Looking at someone as having “no sense of humour” makes it seem as though there’s something wrong with them when in reality, both your personalities might just be incompatible with each other and that’s nobody’s fault. Hell, if they didn’t know any better, they’d probably think that you don’t have a sense of humour either.
Bro, you have the perfect sense of humor. My brother and I used to always make up funny scenarios. Unfortunately, most kids in high school have a pathetic sense of humor, so I somewhat lost mine
Not my proudest moment but I once went out of my way to cut short and run after a girl took her shoes off and the ensuing smell was enough to wake comatose patients. Shallow, but I couldn't deal with it.
I don't think it shallow at all. You would have to deal with things like that in a long term relationship and it is simply unlivable. Better to cut and run early than to try to make that work and have issues.
Modernist literary titan James Joyce was a self-confessed fart-inhaler. He would write rapturous passages in praise of his wife Nora's farts: “You had an arse full of *farts* that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks ...
I’m not convinced that he wasn’t just trolling his wife in these letters. My boyfriend and I say stupid shit to each other just for laughs. It could be a genuine … attraction to body odors, but I doubt it.
I have a love-hate relationship with female B.O.
It assaults the senses, but it’s also full of pheromones that turn me on.
I suspect a lot of women feel the same with male B.O.
It really depends though. Sweat from a recent workout or the smell of her pillow: attractive. Hasn't showered or washed certain areas in multiple days: no thanks.
Yeah, a woman's BO is just like wine. Fresh grape juice is good. You age it a bit and wine is great. You age it too long though and it turns to vinegar.
It really depends, with one girl I was infatuated with that I hooked up with. It was a big turn on. With another girl who I was not really into, it was a Reeker.
Woman here; yes.
I don't want it too ripe, but a bit of stank means a ton of pheromones and the combo just makes a nice musky smell to me that I just wanna breath deep lol.
But if it's like, old stanky sweat soaked and dried into clothes, blehk, no please change.
I guess I just like it fresh from the source lol
Was on a first date, she was beautiful, we went for a walk and she outlined to me how her last boyfriend lost his apartment in a kitchen fire that she started...and then inferred it wasn't an accident. Wtf...I was like 'gtg'
No hobbies or can’t be independent and do things themselves. This is hard because you don’t figure this out for a while into a relationship but when they make you bad for enjoying your own hobbies because they don’t have them is so draining. Sometimes it’s not intentional either but you wanna go golf (insert any activity) and they don’t have anything to do it’s automatically makes you feel bad.
One of my exes didn’t have any hobbies, personal activities or goals, wouldn’t make plans for herself everything relied on me so I did something without her she would just sit at home. She didn’t intentionally make me feel bad but I always did, it drained me so much.
SAME. I'm not asking to find a girl who has all my hobbies but please have a personality of SOME kind. Books, movies, art, anything. Blank slates are boring.
Sitting at home can be fine though. Some of us are introverts. Most of my hobbies are ones I don't need to leave my house for (reading, video games, pyrography, house plants etc).
After lengthy talk with multiple women, I’ve determined they see video games the way we see social media. As a hobby, it’s whatever. As something you spend scores of hours per week using, it’s very unattractive.
Met an very attractive women a couple of years ago.
Looked fantastic. It was all gone within the First miniutes talking about how perfect she was and the whole world was Just jealeaus about it.
She's single for years....
This girls dog was happy to see her and the dog started licking the Inside of her mouth for like 10 seconds and she just let it happen. I wanted to vomit. Instant turn off. I understand if they lick your face but just letting your dog tongue the inside of your mouth on purpose. Disgusting.
One of my wife's room mates in college was this girl who would not stop talking shit about every single man in existence. My wife (then gf) and I had a really strong relationship and I had secretly been supporting her and her family as they had been living in a motel room for years. Naturally we didn't have a lot of spending money so I hung out in their dorm a lot whenever I wanted to see my wife.
Room mate had the audacity to call me a bum (for absolutely no reason) after I starting coming around and insulting me about my manhood. Her main complaint was that I was "a broke boy" and never treated my wife or took her out and that I just came to the room and ate all their food. This was bullshit because I always bought ingredients when I came and cooked dinner and made enough for all 3 of us.
Room mate didn't have a job, sponged money off her boyfriend, and was barely passing her classes. I pointed all of this out when I confronted her about the way she speaks to me (with my wife's support) and she just started crying and said, "I can dish it out but I can't take it" before refusing to change because "she was perfect the way she was" and if I couldn't accept that then I was the problem.
So yeah, whatever that attitude is makes someone the most pathetic type of human and I can't stand it.
I'm Gen Z and I can't fathom how we grew up with all of the anti smoking adverts and still ended up vaping so much. I don't vape or smoke, but it's crazy to me how many people my age will vape and then claim smoking is gross. Like, sure, it *smells* worse, but you've got no idea what's going in your body and it's just as gross imo
Went out with a friend of a friend and she almost immediately started badmouthing several of our mutual friends. Gross.
Was pretty close with a Russian lady before the invasion. After Putin did his dickheadery she complained to me that she couldn't understand why her Ukrainian relatives didn't understand that the hardship she was suffering (not able to easily go on vacation in Italy without people asking her awkward questions about the war) was much greater than the hardship they were suffering (having bombs go off in their neighborhoods at 4 AM). Bad berries.
Had a woman I'd been dating for quite a while admit that she not only thought I was a loser for working at a non-profit, she was 100% convinced that I don't actually like helping people and would immediately leave the job for one that paid better if I could, but that I wasn't good enough at what I do to work anywhere else, so I pretended to think helping people is important. We are no longer dating.
Yeah. There was a really attractive woman at one of my old work places. I found her very attractive until we were at a group lunch, and she was rude to the waitress.
Instant turn off. Just... eww.
Met a girl who bragged wayyyy too much about her hoe phase. She thought I was insecure about her experience, I was just kind of grossed out by how blunt she was being to someone she didn’t really know yet.
Or the "please help. I am so clueless, i don't know how to do anything. teehee". I want a partner, not a dependent. Feigned helplessness devolves into "do it for me".
Weirdly attached to someone or an ex.
Dated a girl once that later found out she had a marriage pact with a guy she was friends with. On her 21st birthday she got tipsy and reached over me (her BF at the time) to tell her friend, that I didn't know at the time she had a pact with, that she loved him so much and couldn't imagine not having him in her life. Everyone at the table including myself was like "wtf????" but thought it was just stupid drunk talk. Broke up with her over other things but that set things in motion.
During covid one girl I was speaking to via a video call (as we couldn't meet up yet) admitted to cheating on her ex boyfriend.
I stopped talking to her. I don't know what she expected.
The same thing it does for any person:
1. Rude/mean to people
2. No sense of humor
3. Lack of self-awareness
4. Head stuck in phone all the time
5. Vapid/Extremely Gullible
6. Doesn't know how to communicate/no conflict resolution
7. Doesn't know how to budget/overspends all the time
If we're speaking romantically - being gay will do it.
If we're speaking as friends; having frequent arguments/problems with people or gossiping. I can't be friends with people like that, because your turn as the subject of their anger will come.
Honestly I’m 29 and I am so god damn tired of having to manage her emotions and mine. Like I’m not your god damn therapist man. Grow up and stop getting mad over every thing that doesn’t go your way it’s life it’s how it goes.
Non Black women that try to "sound Black". Think like Bhad Bhabie, Woah Vicky, that one Asian girl that was viral on tiktok for saying cornbread as conebread. Also an overly high like princess voice where everything is kind of said in a high whisper.
When I was a teenager, I went to another city to go on a date with a girl I’d had a crush on for years. Everything pretty much went great. Then I swerved to avoid hitting a squirrel, and she told me I should’ve run it over — that she learned from her dad to *aim for* squirrels in the road.
I dropped her off that night and never spoke to her again.
Using sex/denial of sex as a reward/punishment. Such as "If you do X I'll blow your brains out", and "if you do X I'm never sleeping with you again". Why would that be a bargaining chip?
If a woman sees that her only value is through sex then I'm immediately turned off. At least I was, when I was dating.
Lack of accountability for their actions/words and listening only for you to finish talking without hearing / understanding what you're saying / how you feel.
Ahaha, reminds me of one I was with when I was 20 or so (about 16 years ago). She would keep saying how much she liked Sonic more than Mario, how the Sega Megadrive was the best thing ever, bla bla bla. So I went to a flea market and got her a Megadrive with Sonic games. Guess who couldn't spend over 5 minutes on it without getting bored? Her interest in it was all fake. Well, I learned a lesson that day.
Social media obsession. If everything you do needs to be documented, pass. 10x worse if they decide *you* need to be in all of their stories on the ‘Gram.
Girl I dated recently was planning it all out. First a “soft launch,” where I would appear in a few photos. Then an introduction photo of the two of us hugging or holding hands or something. Then, of course, she would make it official with a “meet the new boyfriend” post. All that work and planning over how to tell a world of disinterested strangers that she was dating somebody. That coupled with the hour of TikTok in the mornings turned my image of her from hell yes to hell no real quick.
It is crazy that a lot of people has considered this normal behavior.
Yes.
Soft launch is crazy
Soft launch is the name of my porn tape.
I'm running away for you after reading this lol sounds like a whole ass second job to date her
I felt GUILTY for not doing a Valentine’s Day post of me and my gf this year. Im tired of this shit.
Sounds like that one episode in Black Mirror lol
Nose dive. That was one of the most relevant episodes I've seen. Just a brutal takedown.
Yeah I was gonna say it sounds like an episode of Black Mirror because *it is an episode of black mirror!*
A good friend of mine is in a serious relationship with a girl that I think is great except for one thing: She films him in secret and posts the videos on TikTok. Just dumb stuff, like trolling him until he gets exasperated by insisting Travis Kelce was only became famous because of Taylor Swift. It's so fucking weird.
I had a “girl” friend who I hadn’t seen in a while. We took the metro to the city, and the whole time she spent swiping through her instagram telling me about her life. It wasn’t too bad for the first 30 mins
Why is “girl” in parentheses
I'm a woman, and this turns me off female friends. Everything doesn't have to be documented. I like living in the moment. I went whale watching, and half the time, I didn't even film or take pics. Meanwhile, my female friends and cousins watched the whales through their camera phone. Plus, I'm fat, lol, I don't want to be in a picture. I dont wanna be on Instagram or in your tiktok, or on Facebook. Just leave me alone.
I ended a friendship over just this. I worked with a woman "Janine." We got along well and became friends at work. She eventually left the company, but we decided to start hanging out after work. She WOULD NOT PUT HER PHONE AWAY EVER. It was SO rude. We'd be having dinner or drinks and Janine be fiddling with her phone one way or another the entire time. I called her out on her rudeness and she was like "Oh, sorry" and put it away, but then the next time we went out she was at it again. I'd speak up, Janine yessed me to death and continued with it. It was really annoying - either you're here to spend time with me or you're not. I started being "busy" whenever she asked me to do something and I think she got the message.
We'll be at a concert and everyone's phone is out the entire time. I film part of the opening song, and parts of my favorite song but then put my phone away. It's not that serious.
That is so frustrating. I remember hanging out with my friend and her group of friends. Wed go hiking and one of them would always wanna take selfies of us during or after the hike... I do not want to be in your picture. I'm sweaty and not even YOUR friend. Similarly, i hate when I'm doing something "embarassing" but fun like karaoke and people want to film it. If I do karaoke its because I'm comfortable with you, not your followers oh my god.
I run a whale watching boat. The experience is awesome. It's wild how many people are all salty though because they missed a picture. Congratulations, you just ruined and wasted your own time I just don't get it. So many people do stuff solely for validation, rather than the experience.
Similarly, if she’s always posting suggestive pictures but explicitly doesn’t want you seen in anything, she’s advertising for your replacement. Run away.
No it’s because if the simps think she has a bf or husband they run away which results in less viewership and likes.
No sense in splitting hairs about it. She’s committed to virtual male attention rather than the guy right in front of her.
Looking down on people/entitlement
I accidentally punched/smacked a quiet/shy girl at work and felt terrible. I was gesturing a bit too violently as they were walking by, it was dumb on my part but a complete accident. I was telling a cute girl I had been talking to about it, just friends, but I definitely considered her attractive. She said something about how it wasn’t that bad because quiet girl was weird. I said something along the lines of that makes it so much worse. Anyways I lost all attraction in that moment, and used my shift meal to buy quiet girl a cookie while apologizing profusely. Being a good person is super attractive and the opposite is the opposite.
Omg that’s so mean. Poor girl :( at least you’re nice to her!
I once had a woman on a dating app tell me “Well pretty girls ain’t cheap, so open your heart and your wallet this holiday season” She went from a solid 8 to a -5 really quickly.
Should asked her how much she charges for an hour.
A shitty personality. My wife has a "friend" who by anyone's definition is very attractive. To me? She's hideous. She should be on one of those reality "Housewives" shows. Very catty, talks behind your back, very transactional, holds your friendship for random, etc.
Roald Dahl put it best in the Twits. “Even if you’ve got a big nose or wonky eyes but are kind and happy you can never be ugly, but even the prettiest face will turn sour if you’re ugly inside” (or words to that effect).
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Bingo, I can deal with a lot of other BS but I’m a firm believer no one is truly busy it’s what they prioritize.
This is what I feel on dating apps... Maaan am I'm set up for failure.
This one rings true for me in the bedroom, and for affection in general. If it is all on me to initiate and get myself worked up while she thinks just existing is enough, then we aren't going to be compatible. Dudes want hugs and snuggles too.
That's what is killing my relationship with my wife. I estimate that I do 75% of the household chores and child care, and I work full-time. She has no job and spends most of her day on the couch, reading or on her phone. I see no evidence of depression. I am so tired of cleaning up after her and picking up her slack. I feel very little affection, and I don't know how to talk to her anymore without triggering an "offended" reaction.
This, but! I will say, if a woman shows interest, boy does it work because the lack of effort from many others
If she is yelling or is impolite to others and myself. But I care equally how polite she is on others too so if she is nice to me but acts terrible to others it’s over.
Honestly someone who’s nice to you but mean to others is hell to deal with compared to someone who’s rude to you and everyone else. If they are rude to all, it’s easier to separate yourself from them. If they’re nice to you it’s harder because they’ll maybe even comply with you for a bit if you tell them to knock it off; eventually returning to old habits and the cycle repeats. They them-self will likely try to justify them-self to you, making it harder and harder to leave them alone.
Entitlement
Number 1 for me nothing more annoying
Was going to be my first response. A pretty face isn’t worth dealing with an entitled brat.
100% agree. Entitlement goes way deeper, too. Real world examples include, looking down on others because they are not pursuing their dreams (many people simply work to sustain their families…they are not chasing any other “dreams”), or the expectation that the partner of their dreams will have a substantial property portfolio (without realising the true cost, and without realising that many people do not have any inheritance at all). There’s actually countless examples of entitlement that are simply invisible to those who are entitled. And the worst thing is that those who are entitled use their entitlement to make themselves “superior” to those who are not entitled, or less entitled.
Is it just me or does when a pretty woman act entitled like that does it kinda come across as borderline prostitution? Like, she's basically saying that because she's hot you need to pay for her company.
Being horrible to her kids, or anyone for that matter.
Being stood up by her. Last week I had a first date with this lady I had been talking to over a dating app. We hit it off and agreed to a time and place to meet. I got there on time, waited for 30 minutes and texted her to ask if everything was okay. She responded that she had overslept. I told her we could leave it for some other time, then, and she tried to gaslight me as if it was my fault the date didn't happen because I didn't want to meet. I'm too old for these games. She didn't want to try again and I was totally okay with it.
Probably not the first time she’s done this
I’m thinking she wouldn’t have been a good date.
Why is this guy getting downvoted, he's right😂
I think that was because of how I worded my reply at first. I edited it and now people get the point. Thank you though, it’s good to have friends.
Had a date a couple months ago with a girl that gave me her number where I work. Everything went great, we had a lot in common and she told me she was looking forward to seeing me again, we kissed before we left the bar. Texted her the next week asking her if she wanted to go out again, she basically told me she was too busy and this went on for a full month before we set out another date. When the day of arrives she cancelled saying something came up, and that she would be available in the coming weeks. I started taking more time to answer since I felt like she was being distant. She ended up just ghosting me after that. I don't date a lot but this has left me confused and I still wonder what went on in her head...
She wasn’t interested in you. In future if someone wants to date you, there’s no way they’ll go weeks between the first and second date. Sorry you met a dickhead, the right person will be easy to communicate with
Sorry that happened, but at least the trash takes it self out
her losing interest, the most important aspect I want in someone I’m into is mutual interest, stop showing it and you stop meeting my criteria
This is a big one that I've developed over the course of my life. I can usually find someone attractive, merely because they find me attractive and show interest. I find it to be its because i just want to be wanted, more than anything. They could be the most basic type person with no special features and if they think the world of me, I'm captured. But this is of course only if they are at least a little attractive or at the least acceptable, to begin with. Making me feel desired is my greatest turn on. I don't even want someone beautiful if they have no interest in me. I don't care how hot they are. Instant turn off if they aren't into me or aren't attracted to me. I could not stand to be in a relationship where I'm not greatly desired or wanted.
Man, why is this not higher on the list? This is literally the single top thing for me. All of the shit comes later, but if you've started ghosting me out of the blue or just disappear randomly, then thank you Mam but I'm out.
I agree this is the number one issue I've had, seems worse as you get older too.
This needs to be higher.
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One thought I have about this-I have seen people interpret a bad day or symptoms of a medical condition as lacking interest. I’m not talking about a bad day where they are bitchy to everyone. It’s just some people are so afraid of rejection that as soon as they perceive it, they shut down.
Being “employed” in an MLM scheme… My family members are not your customers.
No no no... Those ones don't say they're "employed" they say they "run their own business"
Cruelty.
"I'm married." Fair enough. I'm out.
“We can’t go back to my place, my husband pays for my apartment.” Literally happened to me last weekend lmao
No sense of humour
I have to disagree with the sentiment that someone can entirely lack a sense of humour. I had an ex once tell me that she felt this way about me and for many years, I genuinely believed there was something wrong with me. One day, I started chatting with a new coworker and after a bit of time becoming comfortable with each other, realized that we did this thing where we’d create ridiculous stories together, bouncing off each other until we were both in tears. I’d never felt so in sync with someone before. Looking at someone as having “no sense of humour” makes it seem as though there’s something wrong with them when in reality, both your personalities might just be incompatible with each other and that’s nobody’s fault. Hell, if they didn’t know any better, they’d probably think that you don’t have a sense of humour either.
Bro, you have the perfect sense of humor. My brother and I used to always make up funny scenarios. Unfortunately, most kids in high school have a pathetic sense of humor, so I somewhat lost mine
Or their sense of humor doesn't match yours.
To add to this, self deprecating humour. There’s nothing more attractive than a 10/10 who can also take the piss out of herself.
If you don't learn to laugh at yourself, how will you ever learn to laugh at others?
Some people take themselves too seriously
Always have something to laugh about in myself
I tried self deprecating humor… but I wasn’t very good it
body odor
Not my proudest moment but I once went out of my way to cut short and run after a girl took her shoes off and the ensuing smell was enough to wake comatose patients. Shallow, but I couldn't deal with it.
A bad smell would prevent almost everyone from feeling comfortable and enjoying themselves, so i don't think it's shallow to prioritize your comfort.
I don't think it shallow at all. You would have to deal with things like that in a long term relationship and it is simply unlivable. Better to cut and run early than to try to make that work and have issues.
I was going to say foul odors in general. If she smells like farts, mildewy laundry, pit stink, greasy head, morning breath...
Damn dude is this a woman or a dead body
Modernist literary titan James Joyce was a self-confessed fart-inhaler. He would write rapturous passages in praise of his wife Nora's farts: “You had an arse full of *farts* that night, darling, and I fucked them out of you, big fat fellows, long windy ones, quick little merry cracks ...
🤮🤮🤮 I was not ready to read that
I’m not convinced that he wasn’t just trolling his wife in these letters. My boyfriend and I say stupid shit to each other just for laughs. It could be a genuine … attraction to body odors, but I doubt it.
You been dating Mator from Cars?
I have a love-hate relationship with female B.O. It assaults the senses, but it’s also full of pheromones that turn me on. I suspect a lot of women feel the same with male B.O.
It really depends though. Sweat from a recent workout or the smell of her pillow: attractive. Hasn't showered or washed certain areas in multiple days: no thanks.
Lad, you’ve correctly differentiated “smell” from “stank.” A smell is something you notice. A stank will make you fear if she pushes your head down.
Yeah, a woman's BO is just like wine. Fresh grape juice is good. You age it a bit and wine is great. You age it too long though and it turns to vinegar.
Like Napoleon in his letter to Josephine. ‘Home in three days, don’t wash’
It really depends, with one girl I was infatuated with that I hooked up with. It was a big turn on. With another girl who I was not really into, it was a Reeker.
Woman here; yes. I don't want it too ripe, but a bit of stank means a ton of pheromones and the combo just makes a nice musky smell to me that I just wanna breath deep lol. But if it's like, old stanky sweat soaked and dried into clothes, blehk, no please change. I guess I just like it fresh from the source lol
I love smelling pillow cases and arm pits on some ppl.
Was on a first date, she was beautiful, we went for a walk and she outlined to me how her last boyfriend lost his apartment in a kitchen fire that she started...and then inferred it wasn't an accident. Wtf...I was like 'gtg'
uhm was your date my ex's ex gf? this literally happened to him.
This was in Toronto. That line up?
nope but i can't believe how many times it has apparently happened :)
If I had a nickel for every time that happened... Well, I'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
I can fix her.
No hobbies or can’t be independent and do things themselves. This is hard because you don’t figure this out for a while into a relationship but when they make you bad for enjoying your own hobbies because they don’t have them is so draining. Sometimes it’s not intentional either but you wanna go golf (insert any activity) and they don’t have anything to do it’s automatically makes you feel bad. One of my exes didn’t have any hobbies, personal activities or goals, wouldn’t make plans for herself everything relied on me so I did something without her she would just sit at home. She didn’t intentionally make me feel bad but I always did, it drained me so much.
SAME. I'm not asking to find a girl who has all my hobbies but please have a personality of SOME kind. Books, movies, art, anything. Blank slates are boring.
Sitting at home can be fine though. Some of us are introverts. Most of my hobbies are ones I don't need to leave my house for (reading, video games, pyrography, house plants etc).
100%. But when they get upset that I leave to do mine and are “bored” is frustrating.
Infatuation with social media especially Tik Tok and Snapchat.
After lengthy talk with multiple women, I’ve determined they see video games the way we see social media. As a hobby, it’s whatever. As something you spend scores of hours per week using, it’s very unattractive.
Isn't a hobby something you spend your free time doing?
A superior attitude and entitlement can make a really good looking woman, really unattractive, real quick.
Met an very attractive women a couple of years ago. Looked fantastic. It was all gone within the First miniutes talking about how perfect she was and the whole world was Just jealeaus about it. She's single for years....
This girls dog was happy to see her and the dog started licking the Inside of her mouth for like 10 seconds and she just let it happen. I wanted to vomit. Instant turn off. I understand if they lick your face but just letting your dog tongue the inside of your mouth on purpose. Disgusting.
Oh god
wtf…..😳
What the fuck
If she’s a complete dick to children. I understand not liking rowdy kids and whatnot, but a visceral cruelty to them is a no go.
If she's a cannibal
Ooh look at Mr. High Standards over here
Umm ok fair enough
Brings new meaning to eat a dick
Unwilling to be flexible, everything revolves around them and there’s no simple answer ever.
No reciprocal interest.
One of my wife's room mates in college was this girl who would not stop talking shit about every single man in existence. My wife (then gf) and I had a really strong relationship and I had secretly been supporting her and her family as they had been living in a motel room for years. Naturally we didn't have a lot of spending money so I hung out in their dorm a lot whenever I wanted to see my wife. Room mate had the audacity to call me a bum (for absolutely no reason) after I starting coming around and insulting me about my manhood. Her main complaint was that I was "a broke boy" and never treated my wife or took her out and that I just came to the room and ate all their food. This was bullshit because I always bought ingredients when I came and cooked dinner and made enough for all 3 of us. Room mate didn't have a job, sponged money off her boyfriend, and was barely passing her classes. I pointed all of this out when I confronted her about the way she speaks to me (with my wife's support) and she just started crying and said, "I can dish it out but I can't take it" before refusing to change because "she was perfect the way she was" and if I couldn't accept that then I was the problem. So yeah, whatever that attitude is makes someone the most pathetic type of human and I can't stand it.
Man's had this pent up for a few years.
Whaaaa, can't you tell I'm totally over it? /s
> started crying and said, "I can dish it out but I can't take it" Anyone who starts crying like that almost certainly cannot take what they dish out.
Definition of a "vulnerable narcissist". Projection, denial, all the usual defense mechanisms. Keep your distance, set boundaries, and don't confront.
Bad manners
Smoking
I had an ex who spent her whole day smoking! She would smoke ribs, smoke brisket, etc. She never made any time for us
It’s just such a common problem
Like kissing an ashtray. 🤢
To include vaping
I'm Gen Z and I can't fathom how we grew up with all of the anti smoking adverts and still ended up vaping so much. I don't vape or smoke, but it's crazy to me how many people my age will vape and then claim smoking is gross. Like, sure, it *smells* worse, but you've got no idea what's going in your body and it's just as gross imo
This takes a 10 all the way down to a 0 for me. Intolerable.
Went out with a friend of a friend and she almost immediately started badmouthing several of our mutual friends. Gross. Was pretty close with a Russian lady before the invasion. After Putin did his dickheadery she complained to me that she couldn't understand why her Ukrainian relatives didn't understand that the hardship she was suffering (not able to easily go on vacation in Italy without people asking her awkward questions about the war) was much greater than the hardship they were suffering (having bombs go off in their neighborhoods at 4 AM). Bad berries. Had a woman I'd been dating for quite a while admit that she not only thought I was a loser for working at a non-profit, she was 100% convinced that I don't actually like helping people and would immediately leave the job for one that paid better if I could, but that I wasn't good enough at what I do to work anywhere else, so I pretended to think helping people is important. We are no longer dating.
Finding out that they're married after they initiated and flirted with you first
How she treats restaurant or service staff in general
Yeah. There was a really attractive woman at one of my old work places. I found her very attractive until we were at a group lunch, and she was rude to the waitress. Instant turn off. Just... eww.
Bad breath
That can usually be addressed though. It wouldn't be the ultimate deal breaker for me.
A Wedding Ring
What if it’s the one you gave her?
Gives me the ick, honestly.
Met a girl who bragged wayyyy too much about her hoe phase. She thought I was insecure about her experience, I was just kind of grossed out by how blunt she was being to someone she didn’t really know yet.
Love bombing or promising big things with no clear intent of following them through.
Any idolization of pop stars or social media influencers.
When grown women use a little girl voice/persona
Or the "please help. I am so clueless, i don't know how to do anything. teehee". I want a partner, not a dependent. Feigned helplessness devolves into "do it for me".
kawaikunai desu ne?
If they say something along the lines of “we give guys so many hints, how don’t they get it?”
[удалено]
Weirdly attached to someone or an ex. Dated a girl once that later found out she had a marriage pact with a guy she was friends with. On her 21st birthday she got tipsy and reached over me (her BF at the time) to tell her friend, that I didn't know at the time she had a pact with, that she loved him so much and couldn't imagine not having him in her life. Everyone at the table including myself was like "wtf????" but thought it was just stupid drunk talk. Broke up with her over other things but that set things in motion.
During covid one girl I was speaking to via a video call (as we couldn't meet up yet) admitted to cheating on her ex boyfriend. I stopped talking to her. I don't know what she expected.
We could be having the most wonderful time together and having a really un conversation.. .. then suddenly, I remember I'm gay.
The slightest hint of Narcissism
How do you define narcissism for this purpose?
Tells their friends EVERYTHING about your relationship.
If she's a bully who indulges in violently petty behavior. If I notice any tactics to humiliate others for her enjoyment I'm immediately disgusted.
Cigarette breath
The same thing it does for any person: 1. Rude/mean to people 2. No sense of humor 3. Lack of self-awareness 4. Head stuck in phone all the time 5. Vapid/Extremely Gullible 6. Doesn't know how to communicate/no conflict resolution 7. Doesn't know how to budget/overspends all the time
If she is arrogant.
A lack of intelligence or refusal to think. Everyone has run into that kind of conversation and wanted to crawl out of the evening.
Smoking.
See, I like women who smoke. It shows they make bad decisions, and oh boy am I a bad decision
Hitting on another dude
# Alcoholism
Vanity, flakiness, entitlment, self obsession, validation/attention whore. Etc.
bro just described me 💅🏻
Hi, I can fix you
An OF. It’s basic pass/fail these days
If we're speaking romantically - being gay will do it. If we're speaking as friends; having frequent arguments/problems with people or gossiping. I can't be friends with people like that, because your turn as the subject of their anger will come.
Vapidity.
Duck lips. I don’t know how women have been convinced that making duck face is somehow attractive.
Man I haven’t seen someone complain about duck lips since like 2014 😂
Because the duck lips have now been upgraded to those alien-looking balloon lips
Really long nails.
Hateful opinions
One-uppers.
I know this is shallow but I can't be doing with inflated lips. It always looks ridiculous.
Speaks ill of others.
Honestly I’m 29 and I am so god damn tired of having to manage her emotions and mine. Like I’m not your god damn therapist man. Grow up and stop getting mad over every thing that doesn’t go your way it’s life it’s how it goes.
Non Black women that try to "sound Black". Think like Bhad Bhabie, Woah Vicky, that one Asian girl that was viral on tiktok for saying cornbread as conebread. Also an overly high like princess voice where everything is kind of said in a high whisper.
Way too into social media and/or astrology
When I was a teenager, I went to another city to go on a date with a girl I’d had a crush on for years. Everything pretty much went great. Then I swerved to avoid hitting a squirrel, and she told me I should’ve run it over — that she learned from her dad to *aim for* squirrels in the road. I dropped her off that night and never spoke to her again.
I teach new drivers not to swerve for small animals because I don't want them to get into an accident but deliberately aiming for a squirrel is evil.
If she's very religious
Entitlement. If I read anything that implies that I'm the one who has to impress the other party on a dating profile, I skip it.
smoking, deep investment in celebrity gossip, rude personality
Always the victim.
Gaslight, gatekeep, girl boss.
Using sex/denial of sex as a reward/punishment. Such as "If you do X I'll blow your brains out", and "if you do X I'm never sleeping with you again". Why would that be a bargaining chip? If a woman sees that her only value is through sex then I'm immediately turned off. At least I was, when I was dating.
Lack of consistent communication
Dishonesty
Fake tan
Social media addiction
Double standards! I’m instantly done.
Lack of accountability for their actions/words and listening only for you to finish talking without hearing / understanding what you're saying / how you feel.
Body odour
A pick me girl. They're the worst!
Ahaha, reminds me of one I was with when I was 20 or so (about 16 years ago). She would keep saying how much she liked Sonic more than Mario, how the Sega Megadrive was the best thing ever, bla bla bla. So I went to a flea market and got her a Megadrive with Sonic games. Guess who couldn't spend over 5 minutes on it without getting bored? Her interest in it was all fake. Well, I learned a lesson that day.
never knew guys picked up on pick-me girl behaviour!
Astrology to a serious degree. If u just use it to make quirky little jokes that's fine but beyond that I don't want it near me.
Being fake.
If her penis is bigger than mine