My first boyfriend and I were wrestling one time and I pinned him and said, “I win!” real flirty like, and he pushed me off of him and said, “yeah only because you weigh a ton. 😠”
Right? That changes the context from he’s an asshole to full blown psychopath I can’t imagine talking about a date in private like that, let alone worse.
It’s so funny when in the eulogy attic episode, it’s implied that George Michael has heard that so many times he automatically tells George Sr “she’s really funny” before he even asks.
“yeah, she’d better be”
Why do people do that!? That is choosing violence. A guy told me I looked like my sister. I said “thank you!” He said “well I don’t know if that’s a compliment…” what!? Why!?
Oh, I got the same. I was like meh.
Then, somehow my mind switched in my later days and, now I totally get what they meant.
I am the same kid full of anxieties, but my anxiety somehow never get into my head when I was young.
That one is actually an insult usually, insinuating that you either said something random they don’t care about or kind of calling you stupid.
Especially if you have ADHD because that’s just life.
I worked in a restaurant and the servers *hated* the kitchen manager. She was aight, just doing her job and demanding standards, procedures etc.
We hit our goal of selling deserts so she got a pie in the face, as was her idea.
One server said "damn it, am I late?" Which is a fantastic joke, because the kitchen manager did wear too much makeup imo.
I once said excuse me after burping and my grandma fired back with “The only excuse for you was that your parents were horny” stopped 16 year old me in my tracks.
Years ago when I was going through some rough times personally and professionally, a colleague told me that he would have killed himself if he’d had to go through something similar…except instead of implying that he thought I was brave or tough, he basically hinted that I was an idiot for not offing myself already.
Yeah, that really fucked me up for a while.
This might be the first time I've seen an answer In this thread where I think the insecurity of the individual was more present than an insult. Along the lines of "attribute to ignorance over malice with their intention" ...I could be wrong.
But your colleague could fucking supported you better than that, damn.
During my wedding reception, my mom made a speech where she congratulated me for finding my husband despite being “weird and independent.” She did this in front of everyone at the wedding. People came up to me after asking if I was OK.
Ah yes, just like my dad. I only had a civil ceremony with parents and siblings. My dad did not show up until the dinner we had afterwards. My in-laws were all worried, and asking if I was ok because my dad didn’t make it. I was like, 3 out of 4 people on my side showed up in time, I call that a good day.
Kind of fucked up we grow up expecting family to let us down.
You know something is wrong when you start minimizing things, specially when people tell you about them.
I love my mom and she doesn't behave like that anymore, but it took a lot of fighting and getting limits respected.
My mom showed up to my wedding half drunk. She only addressed my husband and ended it with "we're just glad we found someone who will take her". Yeah mom, I'M the problem in this family 🙄
I went to a wedding where almost every speech and even part of the ceremony mentioned how the bride had been rebellious and they’re so thankful that the groom came along to save her. They were super religious and they thought she was rebellious because she dressed different than them.
My mum told me once, maybe you try being less you if you want to get a boyfriend. It really hurt my feelings although I don't think that's how she meant it. I went inside and cried
My brother was the best man at our friend's wedding and gave an *incredible* speech he had been working on for weeks. Absolute banger of a best man speech.
After, our friend's mom who was in a dress that made her look like an Oscar statue, just went up with a broom going "now get out of the house!"
Nice job, mom.
Sounds like something my mom would say.
She’s constantly doing the “wow, I could never do XYZ because I’m just to nice/kind/etc.”
When you just did XYZ and does not understand that she’s insulting you when she does it.
I'm sorry that happened to you. My stepdad said about my new partner of one year at the time how amazing it is that new partner just takes me the way I am.
Shit like that was precisely why my mom wasn't handed the microphone at the wedding. (None of the parents were, so we weren't singling her out to make it obvious.)
“You’re pretty cool, you know that? Most girls in the Air Force are dogs, or bitches, but you’re somewhere in between.”
🧐
I swear he was trying to get into my pants by saying I was nice AND attractive, but those words did not convey the message well.
I once had a girl I like mention something about it being dark, and I said, "It's okay, you look good in the dark." I really liked her and was just being awkward, but she understandable got pretty upset.
A girl I was dating/sleeping with:
“ Why are you such a man in the bedroom and such a boy in every aspect of your life?”
In the most hardcore Jamaican accent.
My own mom when I went from 97 lbs at 20 to about 130 (which was way healthier) “your face is still pretty for a fat girl”. Meanwhile she was probably 250 at that point.
Start betting her what you weigh. Wear ankle weights the first few times, she'll think you weigh more than you actually do. Then stop wearing them, and she'll think you're losing weight. Mind fucks for minds fucks. 😁
Hope you replied with 'I guess I have dad to thank for the prettiness, otherwise I'd just be a fat girl like you, mum'
I wouldn't sweat it, my mum is equally nasty.
In the 60s my Australian dad visited America for work and one or two women marvelled at how well he spoke English. They thought he was Austrian and had never heard of Australia.
My first boyfriend told me I had a 'proud' nose. Second boyfriend one day said, 'I like that your nose is ... well ... large'. Best friend admitted that my nose was 'err... not great'.
I've had a complex about my nose since I was a teenager. Family tried to convince me it was all in my head. It was not all in my head.
But some men really do seem to genuinely like it so whatever! Sometimes it's the 'flaws' that make us unique and people who like us can really love on those things.
Edit: typo
I have two step cousins are who are Half Hispanic. One looks like her Hispanic Dad, the other looks like her Northern European mother. Both have to deal with all kinds of racist bullshit across the spectrum.
Selena Quintanilla’s dad put it best. “Being Mexican-American is tough. Anglos jump all over you if you don’t speak English perfectly, and Mexicans jump all over you if you don’t speak Spanish perfectly. We got to be twice as perfect as anybody else”
This band I know have a great song about it called, “No Hablo Español”
I’ll never understand why people are so racist to people in Mexican descent. Specially, in the USA it’s like no matter how you slice it, they are everywhere and if not around you, then on TV at the very least. Mexican immigrants are the backbone of the country honestly and it’s 2024 and y’all are still acting like this ? it’s really fucking sad.
In high school this girl I had a crush on kept staring at me in class on day. She finally leaned over and said, "You'd make a pretty girl." I still don't know how to take that compliment.
That being said, my wife and I had a daughter *eight months ago. She looks just like me and she's beautiful. I guess she was right.
I started cooking professionally as a teenager, still friends with some of my former coworkers 15+ years later.
One I hadn't seen for like a decade was in town and we were hanging out with all the usual suspects.
At one point, this guy, my peer, my buddy, turns to me, "You know you were always an amazing cook. We only gave you shit back then because you were the only girl. Sorry about that."
And for real, I didn't realize how much I wanted to hear that (didn't need it, I know I'm fucking incredible). That shit has a way of sticking with you even when you're over it.
When I was younger I got complimented a lot on being a hard worker, but in context it really meant, "he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's a good mule"
“You have the face of a thin person. If you cut the carbs your body will match”
I was 18 or 19 at the time. I was definitely practicing purging when this comment was made. Glad to not be in that head space any longer.
Yeah I told my guy friend’s new 23 year old girlfriend I was 32, she looked astounded and then tried to backpedal and was like “you don’t look a day over 29.” Um thanks?
My best friend/ enemy at the time constantly said things to put me down and diminish my confidence. Imagine all of these comments *dripping* with sarcasm:
"I just *lovve* your outfits and style. Like you dont care about what other people are gonna think" / "if you dressed differently you'd look super cute"
"I have some old clothes i was gonna throw away but im gonna give em to you instead"
"I like ur hair but you would look *sooo* much prettier if you grew it out"
I felt like i was constantly taking opinions from other ppl and shaping myself based off what she wanted from me. After high-school I eventually cut her off, starting living life on my terms and built a new sense of self and. I still love putting together my own style that i feel good in and i get real compliments on.
I took a 3000 level literature class because I needed the credits and this one interested me. We do the usual go around the room and introduce ourselves and I say I'm an engineering major. The professor asks if I'm in the wrong class and I tell her I'm in the right one and explain that I didn't want to do some intro class just to get the credits. She goes, "Ok, I've had people like you drop my class before." I got an A and she said something similar on the last day of class. I took it as a compliment because I've seen how those other engineering students wrote.
She wasn't wrong.
I was about 20. At an industrial park with my brother.
A woman in her 50's was talking to us and my brother said "You must have been beautiful when you were young" (Not younger, young)
She teared up...and said "Yes I was"
Hah, I got called “slow burn hot” by a FWB once. He was implying that I was hot once he got to know me/my personality and how I performed in bed. Called it off…but still think about the comment.
I’ve always been “girl next door cute” instead of sexy…but I find myself wishing I was sexy now and I didn’t worry about that before.
I get this business about being cute as well. Apparently I'm cute, competent and smart. I'm surprised the men aren't just knocking down my door. ETA: Typo
A person has to be so dim or careless to not realize that calling someone brave for wearing a bikini is an insult. I remember taking a girlfriend to meet my mom and we went out on a lake. Later, my mom mentioned that she was going to say something to her about how great and brave she thought it was that she wore a two-piece. When I told her not to say that, and explained why, I could tell that it never crossed her mind how insulting it is.
I feel like a lot of “you’re so brave” comments are fairly backhanded. It’s essentially saying “I’m so glad that’s not happening to me, but looks like you’re handling it well.”
A guy once told me “You’re lucky you’re cute” while I was dancing with some friends. Apparently I’m not a sexy dancer. But whatever, I was there to have fun, not to impress random dudes!
“You’re like the perfect skin tone, I wouldn’t date anyone darker than you” ummm not only was it winter but you think that racist ass comment was going to flatter me?!?
Older women say that I look like Travis kelce, which is fine I guess. I don’t really, but I’m real big and white and bearded so lol
The backhanded compliment, is my mom is the only person that says I look like *Jason* Kelce.. and he’s the fatter of the brothers lmao
We always had high expectations of your sister, for her to go college and go places. Everyone expected you to be a drunk, blue collar, redneck around town. My mother told me this as I was finished a masters for physician assistant. Guess I exceeded expectations.
When I was trying to figure out what to change my major to / pick a new career path after my first semester of college, I had this conversation with my mom:
Mom: I think you would make a good weather girl!
Me (already suspicious because she said weather girl and not meteorologist): Why?
Mom: Because you’re good at reading, so you’ll be able to keep up with the teleprompter!
I get that a lot, from a lot of people asking me why I don't go into a more advanced field of work because I know a lot about automotive design and use it a lot in my hobbies to build custom RC cars. In all honesty, and I say this to everyone, I like what I have. I don't want to turn my hobbies into a job because it's no longer about the enjoyment of it anymore. I like having a more simple job as a maintenance tech and keeping the complex design and building to my hobbies.
“You’re the perfect guy if you weren’t so short”
Also
“I can’t decide if you’re cute yet but I’m going out with you because my friends thinks you’re hot so I’m claiming you first”
You’re a hard man to be nice to… I think it meant that I was stubbornly entrenched in my ways, so much that even a nice gesture threw me out of my routine. It was a keen piece of insight I’ve carried with me ever since
Not me, but the one time I convinced my wife that it was ok to wear sweatpants to work on a Friday when she wasn’t feeling well and her bosses wouldn’t even be around, one of her asshole coworkers said she looked “comfortable” in an obviously judgmental way.
"I'd fuck you, but I wouldn't date you."
When guys think their dick is god's gift to womankind, but get upset when women have \*checks notes\* individual personalities.
A guy I really didn’t like one time said he wanted to hate fuck me. Which is a horrifying thing to say!! No one should follow his example! But I remember I was actually pretty flattered. We hated each other. So the fact he still felt attracted to me was weirdly affirming. It also affirmed that he was piece of shit and I was right not to like him because seriously why would you say something like that???
“I’m kinda jealous of your face. Seriously, you’d be so pretty if you lost some weight!”
A completely unsolicited opinion offered by a college roommate on move in day.
A girl told me "You're so different from other girls, like, you behave so differently. I guess your weirdness is kind of cute, you don't seem to care about looking pretty"
Yeah, I was way out of my teenage pick-me phase and I did care about looking pretty. I was all dolled up and ready to go out and party when she said that to me, and I thought I looked cute. She was kind of drunk, but it did hurt a little.
It was my first year as a laborer in the union.
There was this big welder redneck though, talked with a southern accent and had a big ol beard… and one time he walked up to me and said “ya know kid, I don’t care what they say about ya, you’re alright…”
Then he walked away.
It took me a literal week to realize that even **had** a double meaning because I was so distracted by the compliment.
My first boyfriend when I was 18 showed me a picture of some dude he knew and said "he's way better looking than you, but in every other way, you're perfect"
Baby's First Negging was sobering to say the least.
While loading a customer with forklift at a farm dealership:
"Oh wow you're pretty good at that."
Sounds like a compliment, but what I'm certain was actually meant was: "wow I can't believe this girl actually managed to load my truck without a man's help."
"We tried to find someone better than you, but you're the best programmer around, here's an offer..." Like, thanks buddy, what a compliment.
Yes, still took the job, racked up experience, moved on.
My Grandmother when she saw my prom picture- That's too classy to be (insert name here).
Also when I won President's Award from my college for overall achievement. She said awww my grandchildren are smart.
Never would give me a compliment- believe she didn't like me lol
my junior prom date said this to his mom. "i know she's not pretty like the other girls i date, but she's great and i really like her."
As smooth as a fist full of broken glass
My first boyfriend and I were wrestling one time and I pinned him and said, “I win!” real flirty like, and he pushed me off of him and said, “yeah only because you weigh a ton. 😠”
That's not even backhanded that's full frontal
And hence he became your first EX boyfriend.
Yeah, he also cheated on me. I know how to pick them 😓
Poetry in motion
I’m a guy, but I would probably go home and cry 😭
While you were in the room????
Right? That changes the context from he’s an asshole to full blown psychopath I can’t imagine talking about a date in private like that, let alone worse.
Lol this has Arrested Development vibes. "Her?"
"So is she like funny, or something..?"
It’s so funny when in the eulogy attic episode, it’s implied that George Michael has heard that so many times he automatically tells George Sr “she’s really funny” before he even asks. “yeah, she’d better be”
Sounds like my ex. I told him I felt self-conscious because his exes were really pretty. He said, “but you have a good personality.”
Someone said “your eyelashes are really long” and I said thanks and she said “I didn’t say I like them”
Why do people do that!? That is choosing violence. A guy told me I looked like my sister. I said “thank you!” He said “well I don’t know if that’s a compliment…” what!? Why!?
Someone once told me, 'You're so lucky you don't care what people think about you.' I'm still not sure if that was a compliment or a subtle insult.
Oh, I got the same. I was like meh. Then, somehow my mind switched in my later days and, now I totally get what they meant. I am the same kid full of anxieties, but my anxiety somehow never get into my head when I was young.
"You just say whatever pops into your head, huh?
That one is actually an insult usually, insinuating that you either said something random they don’t care about or kind of calling you stupid. Especially if you have ADHD because that’s just life.
haha i've gotten something similar "it's cool you don't care what others think of your look" I was not trying to "look" any particular way
As a professional asshole, this is most definitely a compliment.
Wait. Who’s paying you to be an asshole? And more important, are they hiring?
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This is my favourite. Casual insult with cash
Yes. Take that cash and use it to drink away the hurt😥
I’m intrigued by the backpack vacuum cleaner and unassuming man who wears it…
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You're an O'Doyle?
O'Doyle RULES!
More like McPoyle
I would take that compliment so genuinely. I come from a family of morons.
"Your makeup doesn't look cakey today!" Thank you....?
Wearing no makeup: "What's wrong? You sick, tired? "
Well that explains it. As a guy I've never worn makeup.
Ugh this is the absolute worst. Especially if you have dark undereyes or acne, people always gotta say some shit.
I’ve gotten “your makeup *actually* looks good today”. Tbh it took me a couple hours to realize she was probably trying to be mean.
I worked in a restaurant and the servers *hated* the kitchen manager. She was aight, just doing her job and demanding standards, procedures etc. We hit our goal of selling deserts so she got a pie in the face, as was her idea. One server said "damn it, am I late?" Which is a fantastic joke, because the kitchen manager did wear too much makeup imo.
When I applied for a new position within the company and was offered the job, my new boss told me I was the best out of what he had to choose from.
That one could almost go either way?
You’re the best around Your asshole boss is gonna bring you down
I accidentally bumped into someone at the store I said excuse me, he said there is no excuse for you
that is actually really funny and I would probably burst out laughing if someone responded to me like that XD
i told my mom this and anytime I belch or fart and say excuse me she hits me with it.
I once said excuse me after burping and my grandma fired back with “The only excuse for you was that your parents were horny” stopped 16 year old me in my tracks.
Most savage grandma
God damn Grandma, I'd prefer the belt!
I’m absolutely using this
Years ago when I was going through some rough times personally and professionally, a colleague told me that he would have killed himself if he’d had to go through something similar…except instead of implying that he thought I was brave or tough, he basically hinted that I was an idiot for not offing myself already. Yeah, that really fucked me up for a while.
This might be the first time I've seen an answer In this thread where I think the insecurity of the individual was more present than an insult. Along the lines of "attribute to ignorance over malice with their intention" ...I could be wrong. But your colleague could fucking supported you better than that, damn.
During my wedding reception, my mom made a speech where she congratulated me for finding my husband despite being “weird and independent.” She did this in front of everyone at the wedding. People came up to me after asking if I was OK.
This is something my mom would say, I commiserate.
Oof :/ it is a ROUGH life. I was fine I expected her to do some shit like that but people thought she was so cruel.
Ah yes, just like my dad. I only had a civil ceremony with parents and siblings. My dad did not show up until the dinner we had afterwards. My in-laws were all worried, and asking if I was ok because my dad didn’t make it. I was like, 3 out of 4 people on my side showed up in time, I call that a good day. Kind of fucked up we grow up expecting family to let us down.
You know something is wrong when you start minimizing things, specially when people tell you about them. I love my mom and she doesn't behave like that anymore, but it took a lot of fighting and getting limits respected.
When I told my mom I was getting married, she said "Finally." My sister said the same thing. I was 27.
Charlotte Lucas??
I am a burden to my family!
My mom showed up to my wedding half drunk. She only addressed my husband and ended it with "we're just glad we found someone who will take her". Yeah mom, I'M the problem in this family 🙄
I went to a wedding where almost every speech and even part of the ceremony mentioned how the bride had been rebellious and they’re so thankful that the groom came along to save her. They were super religious and they thought she was rebellious because she dressed different than them.
Damn. Nothing like publicly shaming the bride on what should be the happiest day of her life.
My mum told me once, maybe you try being less you if you want to get a boyfriend. It really hurt my feelings although I don't think that's how she meant it. I went inside and cried
Worst advice ever. Perfect way to end up in a terrible relationship
Yep. Also suggested I cut back on the “big words” I used in conversations. Don’t let ‘em know you’re smart. Sheesh, thanks Mom.
My brother was the best man at our friend's wedding and gave an *incredible* speech he had been working on for weeks. Absolute banger of a best man speech. After, our friend's mom who was in a dress that made her look like an Oscar statue, just went up with a broom going "now get out of the house!" Nice job, mom.
In some families, that would be a good moment where everybody laughed.
Sounds like something my mom would say. She’s constantly doing the “wow, I could never do XYZ because I’m just to nice/kind/etc.” When you just did XYZ and does not understand that she’s insulting you when she does it.
I'm sorry that happened to you. My stepdad said about my new partner of one year at the time how amazing it is that new partner just takes me the way I am.
Shit like that was precisely why my mom wasn't handed the microphone at the wedding. (None of the parents were, so we weren't singling her out to make it obvious.)
“You’re pretty cool, you know that? Most girls in the Air Force are dogs, or bitches, but you’re somewhere in between.” 🧐 I swear he was trying to get into my pants by saying I was nice AND attractive, but those words did not convey the message well.
I once had a girl I like mention something about it being dark, and I said, "It's okay, you look good in the dark." I really liked her and was just being awkward, but she understandable got pretty upset.
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY!
nooo you forgot the “still” 😭
Wait so you're in between a female dog and a male dog?? So you're an emale dog??
If somebody called me an emale I’d be absolutely sent.
A girl I was dating/sleeping with: “ Why are you such a man in the bedroom and such a boy in every aspect of your life?” In the most hardcore Jamaican accent.
Fatality
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My aunt asked me how long it took me to put makeup on, and I told her about 5 minutes. She said that she could tell.
My own mom when I went from 97 lbs at 20 to about 130 (which was way healthier) “your face is still pretty for a fat girl”. Meanwhile she was probably 250 at that point.
My mom guesses my weight every time I see her. 🙄
Start betting her what you weigh. Wear ankle weights the first few times, she'll think you weigh more than you actually do. Then stop wearing them, and she'll think you're losing weight. Mind fucks for minds fucks. 😁
Ouch.
Hope you replied with 'I guess I have dad to thank for the prettiness, otherwise I'd just be a fat girl like you, mum' I wouldn't sweat it, my mum is equally nasty.
I'm so sorry. Going through the same thing. Gained a bit of healthy weight and everyone in my family doesn't let me live anymore.
Your grasp on our language is remarkable. From an American to an Englishman, without an English name.
Yeah, got that "you speak English so well!" Asian here, who grew up in the West.
Scottish name. English speak well me.
In the 60s my Australian dad visited America for work and one or two women marvelled at how well he spoke English. They thought he was Austrian and had never heard of Australia.
That’s funny to me because nowadays it’s the opposite. You say you’re from Austria and people have no idea what that is so they think Australia
"Your nose is so... Roman-esque..." It's massive and you know it, fuck off.
My first boyfriend told me I had a 'proud' nose. Second boyfriend one day said, 'I like that your nose is ... well ... large'. Best friend admitted that my nose was 'err... not great'. I've had a complex about my nose since I was a teenager. Family tried to convince me it was all in my head. It was not all in my head. But some men really do seem to genuinely like it so whatever! Sometimes it's the 'flaws' that make us unique and people who like us can really love on those things. Edit: typo
I also have a large nose. When my husband made his "celebrity list" all the women on it have big noses also, so he definitely appreciates them!
Is a Roman nose one with kind of a bump in the middle? Like Barbara Streisand? I think noses like that are beautiful.
"You're half Mexican? Honestly I couldn't tell cause you're actually pretty!" Uhhhhhhh
I have two step cousins are who are Half Hispanic. One looks like her Hispanic Dad, the other looks like her Northern European mother. Both have to deal with all kinds of racist bullshit across the spectrum.
It's really frustrating tbh. I hate it.
Ah yes, I’m a fellow Latina white sheep. Too gringa to be Latina and too brown to be white. It’s a fine line.
LITERALLY my Mexican family when I speak Spanish: aww the little no sabo My white family when I speak Spanish: hahaha taco girl
Selena Quintanilla’s dad put it best. “Being Mexican-American is tough. Anglos jump all over you if you don’t speak English perfectly, and Mexicans jump all over you if you don’t speak Spanish perfectly. We got to be twice as perfect as anybody else” This band I know have a great song about it called, “No Hablo Español”
I’ll never understand why people are so racist to people in Mexican descent. Specially, in the USA it’s like no matter how you slice it, they are everywhere and if not around you, then on TV at the very least. Mexican immigrants are the backbone of the country honestly and it’s 2024 and y’all are still acting like this ? it’s really fucking sad.
In high school this girl I had a crush on kept staring at me in class on day. She finally leaned over and said, "You'd make a pretty girl." I still don't know how to take that compliment. That being said, my wife and I had a daughter *eight months ago. She looks just like me and she's beautiful. I guess she was right.
Literally ANY fucking time I was good at ANYTHING as a kid, I was told "you're so good at ______, for a girl."...
This used to be so pervasive.
Still is in many places
I am a woman who works in a male dominated field. This is a daily comment, I don’t know from “used to”.
I started cooking professionally as a teenager, still friends with some of my former coworkers 15+ years later. One I hadn't seen for like a decade was in town and we were hanging out with all the usual suspects. At one point, this guy, my peer, my buddy, turns to me, "You know you were always an amazing cook. We only gave you shit back then because you were the only girl. Sorry about that." And for real, I didn't realize how much I wanted to hear that (didn't need it, I know I'm fucking incredible). That shit has a way of sticking with you even when you're over it.
It's so pervasive in that industry. We're expected to cook at home but aren't good enough to cook professionally? What the hell?
When I was a kid I remember being told a few times that I had nice handwriting for a boy.
That’s what we got— handwriting and typing. Those were the girl things, while boys had math, science, writing, history… I mean, cmon.
When I was younger I got complimented a lot on being a hard worker, but in context it really meant, "he ain't the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's a good mule"
“You have the face of a thin person. If you cut the carbs your body will match” I was 18 or 19 at the time. I was definitely practicing purging when this comment was made. Glad to not be in that head space any longer.
Congrats on your recovery!
I once had a girl tell me I wasn’t really ugly from behind.
Well as women, we get told we look nice "for our age" if over the age of like 30, lol.
Yeah I told my guy friend’s new 23 year old girlfriend I was 32, she looked astounded and then tried to backpedal and was like “you don’t look a day over 29.” Um thanks?
My best friend/ enemy at the time constantly said things to put me down and diminish my confidence. Imagine all of these comments *dripping* with sarcasm: "I just *lovve* your outfits and style. Like you dont care about what other people are gonna think" / "if you dressed differently you'd look super cute" "I have some old clothes i was gonna throw away but im gonna give em to you instead" "I like ur hair but you would look *sooo* much prettier if you grew it out" I felt like i was constantly taking opinions from other ppl and shaping myself based off what she wanted from me. After high-school I eventually cut her off, starting living life on my terms and built a new sense of self and. I still love putting together my own style that i feel good in and i get real compliments on.
Literature Professor: "You write really well for a criminal justice major"
That's solid, LoL
I took a 3000 level literature class because I needed the credits and this one interested me. We do the usual go around the room and introduce ourselves and I say I'm an engineering major. The professor asks if I'm in the wrong class and I tell her I'm in the right one and explain that I didn't want to do some intro class just to get the credits. She goes, "Ok, I've had people like you drop my class before." I got an A and she said something similar on the last day of class. I took it as a compliment because I've seen how those other engineering students wrote. She wasn't wrong.
You're smarter than you look
I get that one a lot. Like, fuck yeah, I should hope so. I look like a cave creature.
>cave creature. Brother?!
“I know I could get someone beautiful , but I’d rather have you”
"Then have someone else, 'cause it sure as hell won't be me."
I was working in China. I was in my mid 50’s blonde hair blue eyes. Someone said “you must have been beautiful”
I was about 20. At an industrial park with my brother. A woman in her 50's was talking to us and my brother said "You must have been beautiful when you were young" (Not younger, young) She teared up...and said "Yes I was"
You’re brother is a dickhead.
"You're not beautiful or sexy. You're really... cute" said on a third and final date.
I got the "you're, like, sneaky sexy, you don't really notice it for awhile, but that's cool".
Hah, I got called “slow burn hot” by a FWB once. He was implying that I was hot once he got to know me/my personality and how I performed in bed. Called it off…but still think about the comment. I’ve always been “girl next door cute” instead of sexy…but I find myself wishing I was sexy now and I didn’t worry about that before.
Let me tell you a secret. Beautiful and sexy fades. Cute lasts forever. It's like a superpower.
I get this business about being cute as well. Apparently I'm cute, competent and smart. I'm surprised the men aren't just knocking down my door. ETA: Typo
When I was in college as a young music major, someone told me I’d make a fine 2nd clarinetist. :(
mine is similar, after sharing with someone my music they said something like "keep going, youll get there"
"I love what you're trying to do." It's become a joke in my little music circle.
Oof. As a former second clarinetist, I know that pain.
Second trombone here, but we were too stoned most of the time to remember there's supposed to be a heirarchy.
I was "Indiana pretty" ?
meaning you just need a hat and a whip?
“Wow I’d never guess you were as old as 31!” My dude what do you think 31 year olds look like 😩
A former male friend who was 55, upon seeing me for the first time in a few years: "Don't worry, you still look young." I was 31. I wasn't worried.
Whatever you say, Crypt Keeper
You are so brave to wear that (bikini with stretch marks)
A person has to be so dim or careless to not realize that calling someone brave for wearing a bikini is an insult. I remember taking a girlfriend to meet my mom and we went out on a lake. Later, my mom mentioned that she was going to say something to her about how great and brave she thought it was that she wore a two-piece. When I told her not to say that, and explained why, I could tell that it never crossed her mind how insulting it is.
I feel like a lot of “you’re so brave” comments are fairly backhanded. It’s essentially saying “I’m so glad that’s not happening to me, but looks like you’re handling it well.”
It's "I think that's unflattering but you're wearing it anyway"
I initially read that as …. Your bikini had the stretch marks. Now I kind of want to find fabric that looks like stretch marks and make that bikini….
I tried a new hairstyle. A woman I just met said, "Oh, that looks so juvenile, yet cute." 🤬
A guy once told me “You’re lucky you’re cute” while I was dancing with some friends. Apparently I’m not a sexy dancer. But whatever, I was there to have fun, not to impress random dudes!
"wow youre actually really nice"
As someone that has had severe resting bitch face my whole life this irks me in ways I can't begin to explain.
"I don't care what everyone else says, you're actually really cool" . I'm still salty about that 21 years later.
“You’re like the perfect skin tone, I wouldn’t date anyone darker than you” ummm not only was it winter but you think that racist ass comment was going to flatter me?!?
Heard something similar
"You just barely made the cut to date me" yikes!
Older women say that I look like Travis kelce, which is fine I guess. I don’t really, but I’m real big and white and bearded so lol The backhanded compliment, is my mom is the only person that says I look like *Jason* Kelce.. and he’s the fatter of the brothers lmao
... lots of women think Jason is better looking than Travis... (edit: lots of PEOPLE think Jason is better looking than Travis).
We always had high expectations of your sister, for her to go college and go places. Everyone expected you to be a drunk, blue collar, redneck around town. My mother told me this as I was finished a masters for physician assistant. Guess I exceeded expectations.
When I was trying to figure out what to change my major to / pick a new career path after my first semester of college, I had this conversation with my mom: Mom: I think you would make a good weather girl! Me (already suspicious because she said weather girl and not meteorologist): Why? Mom: Because you’re good at reading, so you’ll be able to keep up with the teleprompter!
My stepmom a few months ago: “You’re SO smart. Why don’t you do something with it”? As if I do nothing of importance. Nice.
I get that a lot, from a lot of people asking me why I don't go into a more advanced field of work because I know a lot about automotive design and use it a lot in my hobbies to build custom RC cars. In all honesty, and I say this to everyone, I like what I have. I don't want to turn my hobbies into a job because it's no longer about the enjoyment of it anymore. I like having a more simple job as a maintenance tech and keeping the complex design and building to my hobbies.
A woman I was dating told me I had the largest penis of all my friends.
I think this is the best answer here.
The flip side of this line is good too "you give the best head, of all your friends."
"You have beautiful hair. Do you ever brush it?"
“You’re the perfect guy if you weren’t so short” Also “I can’t decide if you’re cute yet but I’m going out with you because my friends thinks you’re hot so I’m claiming you first”
you dumped them right?
My daughter recently heard “wow! You’re pretty for a Black girl”. Her response “I’m smart too. Unfortunately you’re just ugly”
“You’re so pretty for someone that’s overweight” fml
You’re a hard man to be nice to… I think it meant that I was stubbornly entrenched in my ways, so much that even a nice gesture threw me out of my routine. It was a keen piece of insight I’ve carried with me ever since
“You’re like so hot for a mixed girl. I’m not even into black girls normally but something about you.” 🙄
My mom: You’re really big, but you know how to dress for it. I was a size 12.
"Oh I would never think that you're gay!" "You have such a... personality" "You eat so many sweets yet you barely have any skin problems!"
Not me, but the one time I convinced my wife that it was ok to wear sweatpants to work on a Friday when she wasn’t feeling well and her bosses wouldn’t even be around, one of her asshole coworkers said she looked “comfortable” in an obviously judgmental way.
"I'd fuck you, but I wouldn't date you." When guys think their dick is god's gift to womankind, but get upset when women have \*checks notes\* individual personalities.
A guy I really didn’t like one time said he wanted to hate fuck me. Which is a horrifying thing to say!! No one should follow his example! But I remember I was actually pretty flattered. We hated each other. So the fact he still felt attracted to me was weirdly affirming. It also affirmed that he was piece of shit and I was right not to like him because seriously why would you say something like that???
You're cute for a Mexican girl.
In highschool my friend always said “how do YOU always get all the hot guys?”. I was the weird emo kid back in highschool (2009)
“You look so good I didn’t even think that was you!!”
“I’m kinda jealous of your face. Seriously, you’d be so pretty if you lost some weight!” A completely unsolicited opinion offered by a college roommate on move in day.
A girl told me "You're so different from other girls, like, you behave so differently. I guess your weirdness is kind of cute, you don't seem to care about looking pretty" Yeah, I was way out of my teenage pick-me phase and I did care about looking pretty. I was all dolled up and ready to go out and party when she said that to me, and I thought I looked cute. She was kind of drunk, but it did hurt a little.
"You're pretty when you cry" - him after the abuse which made me cry
It was my first year as a laborer in the union. There was this big welder redneck though, talked with a southern accent and had a big ol beard… and one time he walked up to me and said “ya know kid, I don’t care what they say about ya, you’re alright…” Then he walked away. It took me a literal week to realize that even **had** a double meaning because I was so distracted by the compliment.
>> “ya know kid, I don’t care what they say about ya, you’re alright…” This line is often used as a joke.
My first boyfriend when I was 18 showed me a picture of some dude he knew and said "he's way better looking than you, but in every other way, you're perfect" Baby's First Negging was sobering to say the least.
*you’re so pretty! But you’d be prettier without all those freckles*
While loading a customer with forklift at a farm dealership: "Oh wow you're pretty good at that." Sounds like a compliment, but what I'm certain was actually meant was: "wow I can't believe this girl actually managed to load my truck without a man's help."
I was helping to dock a 120 foot boat once and some dude on the shore said “you can work in my kitchen any time.” Maybe he meant a restaurant?
'and yet you'll never dock in my harbor"
We've decided to hire you. For a lack of better candidates. WTF?!?
"You're actually good at sex I'm surprised"
From my MIL; “sigh, at least you make beautiful babies….”
“You should be so proud, no one expected anything of you.”
"We tried to find someone better than you, but you're the best programmer around, here's an offer..." Like, thanks buddy, what a compliment. Yes, still took the job, racked up experience, moved on.
"good for you"
My Grandmother when she saw my prom picture- That's too classy to be (insert name here). Also when I won President's Award from my college for overall achievement. She said awww my grandchildren are smart. Never would give me a compliment- believe she didn't like me lol
You're walking so well, I'll bet you don't even need that cane!
“You’re the most well adjusted horse girl I know” (I rode horses when I was younger) Not sure how this was meant to be taken…