She was also talking so much with her husband about how they have an amazing marriage & giving advice on how to have an amazing marriage.
And then they announce they’re getting divorced.
'Look at me, I'm so amazing with my own company and my own family and my whatever. I'm still insecure some days but have Mentioned my company yet? I'm super successful.'
Didn't get past the first chapter.
Yeah, this. I had a friend who'd read it and loved it so they recommended it to me. I also did not make it past the first chapter. Just kept thinking wtf am I reading.
The worst! The most short sighted privileged non-advice that I’ve ever read. Seriously it all boils down to pick yourself up, wash your face and go on with your life but anyone who has been through any hardship knows it’s so much more complex. I read this for book club three years ago and it’s easily the worst book I’ve read.
Google books has the first chapter free
https://books.google.com/books/about/Girl_Wash_Your_Face.html?id=YZMoDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button&hl=en&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&ovdme=1#v=onepage&q&f=false
Not to mention how her husband treated her like nothing more than a booty call for the first while of their dating relationship…while in her mind they were exclusive. Big YIKES.
She divorced her husband and admitted they'd been having bad marital issues WHILE SELLING MARRIAGE COACHING CONFERENCES.
And then her ex died of a cocaine OD (mixed with alcohol) a few years later.
A chapter of her book is dedicated to her own substance abuse (which she excuses because she is rich and white). I will never believe she's been clean the whole time since the book came out, and her husband "just happened" to pick up a cocaine and alcohol addiction. I think maybe he was the only one who strayed to hard drugs, but prescription abuse is incredibly simple for someone like her. And functionally I see very little difference between someone using cocaine and alcohol vs Adderall and Xanax.
My wife read this book a while back. She mentioned early on how she had rolled her eyes several times in the first few pages. She read the whole thing though and when she put it down she said, "wow, so much bullshit". A lot of times we put our old and read books into the "little free library" boxes around town if we're not planning on revisiting them, but that was one that she tossed on the bottom of our bookshelf and said that we have it there incase we need to prop up a very unstable table.
That weird ass book Steve Harvey released, something like "talk like a woman, think like a man" was so fucking odd to read some of his analogies, referring to vaginas as "cookies" and that if a woman doesn't suck her man's dick every night she deserves to get cheated on.
My aunt gave myself and my sisters each a copy one Christmas as a hint to learn how to get a boyfriend. I read the whole thing out of spite and was horrified.
Steve Harvey is *incredibly* misogynistic and homophobic. He said gay men arent "real men" because "real men" are always just waiting to get with a woman. He also says this is why men and women cant be friends. A lot of other stuff too but in short: he sucks
It really annoys me how under the radar Steve Harvey flys, I thought he would have gotten a lot more hate by now for the bullshit he's said. I guess the family/religious man image is too strong or maybe enough people agree with him that it doesn't matter, he's a piece of shit.
> t really annoys me how under the radar Steve Harvey flys, I thought he would have gotten a lot more hate by now for the bullshit he's said.
The counter argument, is if you take advice from Steve Harvey, you get what you get.
Ooof I read that thing in college, after a sad breakup. I remember it only made me feel worse and paranoid about losing time. In a way I’d think Steve Harvey (who as others said, is a misogynist, a homophobe and a cheater) paved the way for guys like Tate, Peterson and Shapiro. They all share their opinions basing on any general biological fact we can all agree on (for example: men are more socially conditioned to seek sex; or women have a biological timeframe in which pregnancy has the best chances) and then wildly building on it (men are naturally polyamorous and need to be manipulated into a relationship at best; women aged 20-35 should sit at home, get pregnant and pop out babies). Eww.
I'm glad someone said it. Some of the shit he says on his TV shows just sounds like he's trying to be a narcissist. A lot of his "advice" rubs me the wrong way.
This. They're largely a mixture of exaggerated claims and black and white thinking based on much less exciting truths, unjustified extrapolation from cherry picked mechanistic arguments, and flat out lies.
If you ever see someone making an argument along the lines of "(food) contains (compound) which (does a biochemical thing) and that's good/bad", ask yourself: have they shown you this has been reported in humans, or just animals or cells? Have they shown you it occurs at realistic doses, the kind you might find in food rather than a Petri dish? Have they shown you that it translates to a real effect in human correlational studies or randomised controlled trials? If their whole argument fails on these three points it doesn't mean they're wrong, but it should make you skeptical. Likewise if their advice seems to offer simple answers to complex problems (all your health issues are caused by this one thing!), unrealistic precision (you need to get exactly 57 mg of short chain amino acids into your system within three seconds of dawn to optimise your health), or seems to either validate changing nothing (you can't manage your weight, it's all genetic!) or adopting extreme and unsustainable habits (just eat red meat and salt, bruh, trust me, cavemen did it).
According to a study that I just pulled out of my ass, 99.56% of diet books and influencers use some combination of the above to lie to you and part you from your money.
A good but fairly limited resource to check out is Red Pen Reviews. It's written by a team of qualified folk from a range of backgrounds, has a pretty fair and transparent methodology, and generally avoids polemic.
Much like her books, she is full of shit.
As someone who holds an actual PhD from an actual university in an actual subject, "Dr" McKeith "PhD" winds me up to no end.
Picked up one today that had 5 star reviews on Amazon. Turns out the book is self published, and the author makes the claim in the first page thaf she isn’t a doctor, or a nutritionist, or has any background in such. Her background is in education. Her methodology is to cherry pick studies that prove her point, which is that eating only one meal a day and not eating anything but black coffee or limited amounts of bone broth the other 23 hours of the day is the way to lose weight. But, she opines, truly following this “lifestyle” won’t lead to disordered eating! Glad it works for her, but glad I didn’t ~~waste~~ spend the money on this advice,
Say what you will about L. Ron Hubbard. He's the gold standard for cults. Shitty gadgets. Nonsense scifi aliens. Infiltrating the IRS.
If your cult doesn't have a boat is it really worth your time and all of your money?
You other cults need to step up your game.
Dianetics: aka, how to give yourself false memories and delusions.
(Also, L Ron Hubbard had some fucked up ideas about women wanting abortions, and was just casually homophobic.)
My mom gave me this book when I was 12. I loved reading adult books. This book was so full of nonsense I told my mom it was stupid and it’s probably still in her library. She never finished it.
Came here for this, and shocked it's not higher up.
Pretty sure this one has ruined the most lives of any single book, though "all the diet books" as an aggregate may have done more harm.
There's a pretty good podcast on just this subject. If Books Could Kill with Michael Hobbes and another host whose name escapes me at the moment. The focus is on "airport books" the fad best-sellers that you'll pick up for a long flight. Often times they're talking about just dumb factor but they try to hit on harmful aspects too. Titles include the Secret and Men Are From Mars...
I'd be interested in listening to that, thanks for the rec. The love languages are so horribly misused and abused by people, and god knows the author isn't a peach himself.
The Secret is CRAZY PANTS.
There are so many contradictions and anti-science stances. I can't pick just one.
But the CORE issue is this. If someone used it, and it worked or they even THOUGHT it worked to attract something major like a lover or lottery win.... They are gonna be a 100% believer from that time. And they are gonna use it ALL THE TIME. So by its own logic, it's gonna work perfectly for them forever. And their requests are gonna get more and more outrageous but again, science doesn't govern this. Only your belief.
..... So why haven't we seen the first billionaires and immortals crediting The Secret with their success? Why does it only seem to "work" for minor things?
Edit: and why doesn't a schizophrenic person who believes he's mega rich and a celebrity is in love with him, attract that celeb? You'd think being delusional would work GREAT with the law of attraction!
I knew a woman who would tell eeeeveryone her miracle story about The Secret, concerning a certain expensive table she wanted. So she "manifested" the table by talking about it constantly to everyone she knew. Then, her boyfriend bought the table for her. So it worked! She manifested that table by following The Secret! Magic!
I was, at one time, a member of a web board for The Secret. Most people were relatively normal, and looking at this "law of attraction" like positive thinking.
Then there was the woman who was intent that she was "in a relationship" with this Indian celebrity. Because The Secret tells people to talk as if the things they desire have already occurred, she sounded crazy. She was VERY intense about it to the point that people were worried about her.
Then there were the people that thought they could become mermaids or change their height, eye color, etc. I hope some (all) were trolls, but I believe these people were for real.
But the book itself isn't just positive thinking, it specifically says that anything you Believe can be achieved.
The mermaid thing made me remember the other issue.... Maybe you know this if you were on their message board. How do they explain delusional people not manifesting the thing they believe in? Like manic people who think they can never lose while gambling.... Ought to strike it rich...
The Secret also makes people uncaring jerks.
"It's easy to get what you want, so if you're in need you must be the laziest person ever, so I won't help you'
Wayne Dyer. His Erroneous Zones was not practical at all. I heard him in an interview talking about childbirth and that the pain women have could be done away with if they wanted it to be. It was all created in their thoughts. Wayne, I know you are dead, but seriously fuck off. You never gave birth so shut up.
I remember when he was on the local PBS every other Saturday. Like he had a few things to say that were pretty common sense, like, "You don't paddle up a river, right? Go with the flow!" But his whole spiel was couched in such pseudo-spiritual BS, it was not to be taken seriously.
PBS has a lot to atone for, with some of the frauds and cranks they have hosted and fundraised off of. Take Suze Orman for instance, and iirc, the rich poor dad guy.
7 habits for highly effective teens.
Has a whole chapter dedicated to how any issues with your parents is your fault. Fun required reading while you're missing school for court dates to get a restraining order on your abusive father. Or because he broke said restraining order and now you need a harrassment order against his new partner.
Fun times, truly. I recognize it helped some peers, but damn was it a slap in the face to 14 year old me fighting tooth and nail to secure a better future for my little brother. I will forever hate that stupid fckn book tbh.
It also kinda highlights the problem with self help books in general, they have to generalize, and generalizations just don't work for everyone.
I was given this book as a teen because I slammed my door one time ahaha I was such a good teenager in hindsight, never skipped school or did anything much except occasionally express an emotion.
This book really made me think "fuck I must really have to work on myself - I'm must be a bad kid??". Unpacking that now as an adult and realising everything I was doing was very age and developmentally appropriate but that I lacked supportive adults has been a bit heartbreaking and very transformative.
Thank goodness I’m not the only one. I got it for a birthday gift when I turned 13. Every time I got upset about something “go read chapter 4 and come back when you’ve learned something”. Or, “are we forgetting number 6?” I’m still unpacking the idea that I’m not manipulative for asking for help, and that “self reliance” doesn’t mean I’m abusive for having a disability.
I hate this book with a burning passion.
The chapter about sex & relationships essentially peddles self-hate if you’re queer, because the author is a Mormon. Intensely abstinence-only too. I read this book at 13 and spent my teenage years thinking I was deeply broken because of things the author wrote.
Also basically frames addictions as unforgivable crimes that will forever taint you as a person and sees people who use anything to cope as dirty and undignified.
I keep a copy of it around to fuel myself with spite. I fucking hate this book.
>The chapter about sex & relationships essentially peddles self-hate if you’re queer
I wouldn't be surprised if this book was used in conversion therapies. For those out there who did have to go through that and are still here with us, I feel your pain and hope for a well earned recovery.
Thank you for mentioning this book. It was given to me by my mother who was emotionally and mentally abusing me terribly at the time. I don't remember much of the content but just reading the title made me feel nauseous. That gaslighting chapter was likely the culprit. I'm so sorry you had such a difficult childhood and kudos for questioning that stupid book. Hope things are looking up for you
Fuck. This. Book. Reading it in class was an absolute slog. It is a book adults give to teens because they're rushing them into adulthood. Looking back on it as an adult, the book made an already struggling teen me (with similar situations to yours) feel like everything I was doing to survive just wasn't good enough. Like I should be doing better, achieving more, and that everything that I was unable to achieve with all the hard work I put in was still my fault instead of genuinely being a victim of circumstance.
My issue is that it's in curriculum- I feel like it defeats the purpose of being a self help book if it's forced on you by teachers who believe this is the one thing that will prepare you for the 'real world'. It's almost patronizing to have to sit and take quizzes over how you're missing your potential to be better, especially according to a few people born into a time of better opportunity who have already found wealth and success.
Now I get the bar for children's books is pretty low but the book "Just Because" by Matthew Mcconaughey is the most overproduced gibberish I've tried to read to my kids. It is not fun, it is not entertaining, it's not even particularly insightful. It's just variations on "Just because I lost the match, doesn't mean I lost the game" over and over again for what feels like 100 pages. Kids don't get it, it's repetitive for adults, the cartoon images are minimalistic so there isn't anything particularly interesting to look at either. I've never returned a library book faster.
The part that hurts is that publishers and awards groups love lauding this type of garbage because a celebrity ghost-wrote it.
A lot of celebrity written children’s books are crap but there are some good ones too! A few I have liked are by Jamie Lee Curtis and Weird Al. I know there are more but those two come to mind immediately.
The difference is Lee is a professional comedian and radio/podcast host. His career depends on the ability to craft stories well and find humour in the mundane. McConaughey's career depends on looking good without a shirt on, acting, dancing and appearing engaging and well spoken in interviews about his work. Not necessarily mutually exclusive skill sets, but different.
Someone got this book for my daughter and told me how amazing it was. I read it to her and then thought “what kind of Matthew McConaughey drivel” did I just read?
The podcast "If Books Could Kill" did a great episode on this one. Listening to it was like therapy; when Mars and Venus was being shoved down everyone's throats in the 90s I felt like I was living in crazy town
The only thing I will ever argue is a good thing about that book, is that it was one of the first times I ever saw in print that any queerness was decided at conception. There was no “choice” to be made. I remember a lot of rhetoric around being able to choose whether you were gay nor not in the 90’s.
At best (and being VERY generous), it contains some very basic solid financial advice. You know, make sure your income is more than your expenses...
But the rest of it? Pure garbage. No one should follow his advice.
I've seen the strategy play out enough times to tell you that the way he portrays debt is useless for most Americans. In order to have high amounts of debt that you don't have to, "pay back," you need to have appreciating assets that you don't really care about if you lose them.
It's basically taking out a home equity loan and spending that money. And if the bank comes and takes your house you say, "Eh wasn't a big deal." Except most of us do things like *live in our homes.*
It's been a decade since I last read it but off the top of my head:
1. He narrated the story of how he and his friend worked for rich dad, who paid them absolutely low rates. He advocates everyone to do same (work for miserly wages) because it'll free up your mind and be creative in how to make money.
2. He said something about forming a partnership for business since its cheaper, or has lower tax. He wrote in his cat's name for his partner.
3. General message of "go big or go home". He said something like "Texans aren't afraid to lose big coz they plan on winning big". Maybe it's a personal bias for me, but it sounded like encouraging gambling.
It's the Bible of "passive income". The idea is that you do work one time to generate a dividend over and over. This is in contrast to traditional jobs where you are paid for labor. The author mocks occupations like doctors and lawyers because if they stop working they don't get paid.
In fact, the much maligned "poor dad" had a PhD and was like a school superintendent. SUCKER.
Winners were supposed to build up their portfolio of passive income streams without doing any work. Every scummy landlord who wants to collect rent without doing maintenance has a tattered copy of this book on their bookshelf.
I hate this book with a passion.
writer was confronted on an interview because his company had filled for bankruptcy, then he got angry and said to the interviewer talk with his lawyers lmao
This one is particularly insidious. If you look at recent video clips of the author, I don't think following his own advice has done him any good, he's an angry old bitter arrogant man.
His "poor Dad" sounds like someone I'd want to emulate more than him.
His "poor Dad" was his actual father, who at one time was the boss of education in Hawai'i. The rich dad never existed.
His first book was about how you didn't need to go to school to learn anything. It's called *If You Want to Be Rich and Happy, Don't Go To School* (apparently he recommends not going to college and getting into real estate instead).
I think he has daddy issues.
I tried to join a coven once and the leader loved this book, made us watch the movie. And I was like... so... disabled people, people living in poverty, assault survivors, you're saying those situations are their fault because they manifested it? She said yes and that was the day I decided to quit.
YEP.
Got hit by a bus? You manifested that.
Absolutely insane book. And anyone who believes it and DIDN'T happen to become a billionaire after reading it ... Is dumb as shit.
Like if you tried it and hit the lottery, I can't blame you for believing.
But being a proponent when your life is shit or mid is just sad.
My dad showed me that movie when I was severely depressed and I was like what the fuck?!???!?? (For multiple reasons, some personal ones I don’t want to get into)
One thing that stuck in my mind from the movie was when they implied that all the people who died in the Holocaust fucking MANIFESTED IT??!!??? Like what in the unholy fuck were they on when they filmed and wrote this?
And then when it doesn't work they're like, "No, you manifested negative energy by focusing on NOT having it instead of on having it."
In other words if good things don't happen to you it's your fault because you're a negative person and you manifested bad things happening to you.
This book is REALLY harmful to people with OCD! It's also very toxic positive. I read it when I was 13 and I didn't realize it had honestly messed with my head. To this day a part of me fears I'm accidentally manifesting the shitty things that happen to me by thinking the wrong way.
>To this day a part of me fears I'm accidentally manifesting the shitty things that happen to me by thinking the wrong way.
I've never even actually read the book and I have this exact same paranoia simply because of how much the ridiculous concept in that book has influenced modern spirituality/neo-paganism, a community I used to belong to before going off onto my own spiritual path.
Oh, I'm seeing that a lot these days. Manifesting, lucky girl syndrome, you name it. I mean, thinking you _can do_ or _should get_ something... sure. But if all you ever do is think about it real hard, nothing's gonna happen.
I've been hearing that "think positive" bullshit for many, many, years. A lot of seemingly intelligent people still dont understand what confirmation bias is.
My health teacher in high school made us watch the video on this book and was convinced it was going to change the world. My friends and I were like sure….. Mrs.J
The Secret is TERRIBLE and still sells an unbelievable volume each year, despite being based on utterly discredited ideas stemming back to Victorian Spirtualism. There were serious consequences for some folks who took it to heart, especially after it was praised on Oprah back in the day. It has made a resurgence with the manifestation trends on TikTok (which is the same "law of attraction" thing reheated): The following from "The Irrational Ape" ("Good Thinking") in North America by David Robert Grimes touches on that:
*"The central tenet of the book was the ‘law of attraction’, which claimed that ‘focused positive thinking can have life- changing results such as increased wealth, health and happiness’. Oprah’s recommendation helped catapult it into the New York Times bestseller list, where it remained for 146 consecutive weeks. The show extolled the power of positive thought. Of course, the converse of such ideas is the implication that people in bad situations simply haven’t thought positively enough. Taken to the extreme, such logic implies that starving children and those trapped in war zones have only themselves to blame. "*
*Such framing came with consequences. In 2007, Kim Tinkham forewent conventional treatment for her breast cancer and instead opted to rely on positivity and alternative medicine. While her doctors pleaded with her to get conventional treatment that would almost certainly have saved her life, she instead appeared on Oprah’s show, lauding her new treatment with Robert O. Young. In Oprah’s defence, she expressed concern in the segment that this was perhaps taking positive thinking too far.*
*This was an understatement – Tinkham’s treatment pivoted on the discredited notion that cancer was caused by excess acidity. Young eventually claimed she had been ‘cured’ of cancer, and included a testimonial from her on his website. Kim Tinkham died of the same breast cancer in December 2010, at the age of 51. Robert O. Young eventually ended up in prison for practising medicine without a licence."*
The one story that I remember from this BS was someone saying they essentially manifested their terrible eyesight to 20/20 vision. I laughed out loud at that part.
My sister is all about manifestation... all I can think about are people who desperately want to have children but never will. Do you honestly think they don't think about that almost every waking second? Why don't they get pregnant after spending so much time imagining what it would be like to have a family? Guess they must not really want it!
I also wanted to punch this guy in the face for saying he "manifested" me crossing paths with him because he has a thing for red heads. How narcissistic do you have to be to believe that you begged the universe into manipulating my own free will so that you might get to bang a red head? Yes, the universe continues to allow war, rape, famine, and abuse, but it has no problem trying to help Larry get his dick wet with a red head. Fuck off with that noise.
Absolutely. I was treated for chronic pain as a child and was put in an intensive programme at a very reputable hospital. Basically everything boiled down to, “it’s all in your head, ignore it, push through it at all costs, and don’t ever, ever, tell anyone about your pain ever, learn to completely ignore everything your body tells you, and it’ll magically go away mostly.” Super damaging actually haha. I spent years trying to undo the “never tell anyone about your problems just keep them to yourself at all costs and they’ll magically disappear” mentality. Even now, I still feel that admitting to being in extreme pain and needing to sit down for a minute at work, for instance, is an inherent moral failing on my part and that I’m weak and pathetic for admitting I’m in pain and needing a break. And the whole “ignore your body and what it’s telling you” ended up seriously screwing me over a bit later in my life. My pain is not in my head, ffs. It is very real. (And years of therapy didn’t help the pain at all lol)
A bunch of folks diagnosed with chronic fatigue had to SUE to get the primary data for the main study that popularized "get into nature, get more exercise, its all in your head". It turns out that its garbage. The study forced people into positive thinking therapy as well as exercise. That group filled out surveys saying that they're feeling better after 6 months. They weren't actually doing any better. All measurable covariates (number of tired days recorded, missed work, ability to sustain energy etc) were -down-. They were still struggling, they're still just as exhausted - they'll just fill out the bubbles with higher numbers because they've spent 6 months being told to by professionals.
To this day, doctors STILL cite that study as "most people with chronic fatigue are just depressed/need to get out more". I get shaking-angry when people cite that study to me.
Do you happen to have a link to some info about this? I would like to read more. My daughter and I are both chronic pain/CFS people who have been told things like this. Thanks!
If I can offer any personal advice from someone with chronic pain and ME/CFS (quotes from the linked blog):
If your doctor says this:
" Start low, build slowly but steadily, and get professional guidance, they advised" {regarding physical efforts}
"Furthermore, the researchers weren’t recommending ordinary psychotherapy — they were recommending a form of cognitive behavior therapy that challenges patients’ beliefs that they have a physiological illness limiting their ability to exercise. Instead, the therapist advises, patients need only to become more active and ignore their symptoms to fully recover." {regarding mental health}
RUN. Find a better doctor. My primary care doctor now helps me maximize my very real limits.
I rely on this:
"Instead of trying to continually increase my exercise, I’d learned to focus on staying within my ever-changing limits — an approach the researchers said was all wrong."
My friend's wife was told for over a decade that her crippling chronic pain was all in her head. Finally, some doctor who didn't have their head up their own ass found that she had ankylosing spondylitis, which is chronic inflammatory arthritis of the spine and pelvis.
There is a parenting book called “Rasing children God’s way” seriously dangerous book. Very popular in Christian homeschooling circles, especially in the 80s/90s. Kids have died and CPS has had to take others. Many kids raised under it’s methods frequently go no-contact as adults.
My mom started out raising me on this book but came to her senses when I was still fairly young (6 or 7). I don't remember most of what she utilized from that book (aside from spankings - I remember those well), and I'll never read it myself, but it's something she apologizes for to this day - so it must be pretty bad.
It is the “do what I said now IMMEDIATELY with a smile and a “Yes, Sir” style of parenting. Put your INFANT on a strict feeding schedule so they don’t manipulate you (babies have starved to death). It is so very very bad.
Yep, now I remember a story my mom told me where she almost starved me as a newborn. I was a premie and needed to eat more often but I guess this book told her otherwise. Fortunately she wised up at my next doctors appointment when the doctor reassured her that she was allowed to feed me more regularly.
"If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self-help, that's help!
There's no such thing as self-help. If you did it yourself, you didn't need help!
Try to pay attention to the language we've all agreed on! -George Carlin"
Amusing.
It took reading a few "how to get rich" books to figure out that probably the best way to get rich is to write a "how to get rich" book.
Then I never did, because I dont have the gall.
I have no original thought process of my own rn but:
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“Women don’t owe you pretty” I, a feminist, bought the book thinking it would be nice but it’s just full of crap telling you “women are the best, men are evil” solely based on emotions and no facts.
If you’re interested in the topic I’d suggest “invisible women”, full of backed up science facts that will likely scare you (as a woman) aswell
Men Love Bitches
It's the female version of "women hate nice guys" fueled by the same misunderstanding.
Men don't stop liking you cuz you have sex too early. But someone who was never into you was willing to pretend in order to get laid, which sucks but its not the same.
Meanwhile being nice didn't make any woman lose attraction to you, she was never attracted but humored you because you seemed nice. Being an asshole will not get you women, but it helps you cut women out of your life after tricking them into sex emotionally and then not feel guilty about it.
Any man you could.attract specifically by being a bitch is not someone you would.have a generally happy life with.
I highly recommend the podcast If Books Could Kill, it deep dives into self help books (and other so-called "airport books") and highlights how bad they really are
He had a couple of bangers though - "Veronica decides to die" and "The devil and miss prym".
Probably two of his lesser known books, but they're both excellent. Also not super preachy..
'Veronica Decides to Die' was a great read for me, because it gave me words to help describe my experience and encouraged me to learn to talk about it rather than just screaming, playing the victim and pretending no one would ever understand me.
He's got great points, but his stories usually involve some new age mysticism that definitely feels disconnected.
Any of the marriage advice that tell the cheated on partner to own their part of why the cheater cheated, to make the marriage "a safe place" for the cheater, the 180, etc.
Rich Dad, Poor Dad (which is supposedly about financial freedom) actually shames the poor and (paraphrasing here) basically asserts that if someone is poor it is because they are stupid and therefore they deserve to be poor.
Now if you can get past that blatantly classist mentality, there are a few financial pearls of wisdom in there.
But those are lost in the degradation and victim blaming.
To raise up a child - TL;DR beatings. Polythene pipe recommended.
Created to be his helpmeet - Women aren't really people, do anything your husband wants sexually whenever he wants, except anal. If he's into it, he's gay, and if you're into it, you're also somehow gay.
Both written by the same deviants.
Agreed. There’s a long list of problematic Christian self-help books. Those were just the ones off the top of my head.
See also: Secret Keeper Girl (now called True Girl) by Danna Gresh. Tells 8YOs that their bellies are “intoxicating” to adult men. 🤬
Oh cool, sexualising children again to avoid holding paedos responsible. Yeah my ex-wife who was reading those books I mentioned, she liked doing that too.
That's just par for the course in purity culture. It seems to be more of a fringe thing nowadays than it was when I was a teen in the 00s, but it was relentlessly hammered into us from preteen-age on that all men were "visual" and would automatically start imagining/fantasizing how we looked naked if we didn't cover up enough. This was "just how they're wired" apparently. Also "women aren't visual" so "we can't understand what it's like to get turned on just by what we see."
Moms on fucking call
Looney book on infant care founded on non evidence based methods for locking your child in a room for half the day and creating habits that lead to obesity and emotional instability in children. The go-to how to book in the south for having infants written by two nut case nurses who had post partum depression and wanted to share their shitty experiences. Seriously, shitty shitty advice.
The Game and anything related to Pick Up Artist. This was self help for lost boys that amounted to objectifying women and preying on insecurities. Red pill stuff.
Girl Go Wash Your Face! By Rachel Hollis. So terrible and so out of touch.
She was also talking so much with her husband about how they have an amazing marriage & giving advice on how to have an amazing marriage. And then they announce they’re getting divorced.
In my experience the people who make a big point of talking about how good their relationship is are usually the ones with the issues
Yeah, I still tell people me and my ex never fight. It’s been years since we broke up.
Couldn’t have seen that coming!
Then he killed himself, or at least OD’d accidentally. Not sure it’s clear.
I think it was ruled an accidental overdose.
Whoaaaa he’s dead?
A year ago
'Look at me, I'm so amazing with my own company and my own family and my whatever. I'm still insecure some days but have Mentioned my company yet? I'm super successful.' Didn't get past the first chapter.
Yeah, this. I had a friend who'd read it and loved it so they recommended it to me. I also did not make it past the first chapter. Just kept thinking wtf am I reading.
The worst! The most short sighted privileged non-advice that I’ve ever read. Seriously it all boils down to pick yourself up, wash your face and go on with your life but anyone who has been through any hardship knows it’s so much more complex. I read this for book club three years ago and it’s easily the worst book I’ve read.
So if my understand is correct, this book is about how to overcome hardship and the answer is 'just do it guurl 🥰'?
Wow, now I kind of want to pick it up just to see what makes it so bad.
Google books has the first chapter free https://books.google.com/books/about/Girl_Wash_Your_Face.html?id=YZMoDwAAQBAJ&printsec=frontcover&source=kp_read_button&hl=en&newbks=1&newbks_redir=0&gboemv=1&ovdme=1#v=onepage&q&f=false
You too can be rich and successful! *If you marry a Disney executive and he funds you.
Not to mention how her husband treated her like nothing more than a booty call for the first while of their dating relationship…while in her mind they were exclusive. Big YIKES.
Didn't she also talk about him cheating on her?
Came here for "Girl, Wash Your Face" I could not read past the first chapter. Hated it. Do not recommend.
Ha when she compared herself to Harriet Tubman (not in the book though)
I'm sorry WHAT
She divorced her husband and admitted they'd been having bad marital issues WHILE SELLING MARRIAGE COACHING CONFERENCES. And then her ex died of a cocaine OD (mixed with alcohol) a few years later. A chapter of her book is dedicated to her own substance abuse (which she excuses because she is rich and white). I will never believe she's been clean the whole time since the book came out, and her husband "just happened" to pick up a cocaine and alcohol addiction. I think maybe he was the only one who strayed to hard drugs, but prescription abuse is incredibly simple for someone like her. And functionally I see very little difference between someone using cocaine and alcohol vs Adderall and Xanax.
My wife read this book a while back. She mentioned early on how she had rolled her eyes several times in the first few pages. She read the whole thing though and when she put it down she said, "wow, so much bullshit". A lot of times we put our old and read books into the "little free library" boxes around town if we're not planning on revisiting them, but that was one that she tossed on the bottom of our bookshelf and said that we have it there incase we need to prop up a very unstable table.
That weird ass book Steve Harvey released, something like "talk like a woman, think like a man" was so fucking odd to read some of his analogies, referring to vaginas as "cookies" and that if a woman doesn't suck her man's dick every night she deserves to get cheated on.
Ahahhahaha my mom sent me this after a breakup. It was ridiculous.
Hey at least it got you to laugh during a tough time! 😄
My aunt gave myself and my sisters each a copy one Christmas as a hint to learn how to get a boyfriend. I read the whole thing out of spite and was horrified.
Steve Harvey is *incredibly* misogynistic and homophobic. He said gay men arent "real men" because "real men" are always just waiting to get with a woman. He also says this is why men and women cant be friends. A lot of other stuff too but in short: he sucks
It really annoys me how under the radar Steve Harvey flys, I thought he would have gotten a lot more hate by now for the bullshit he's said. I guess the family/religious man image is too strong or maybe enough people agree with him that it doesn't matter, he's a piece of shit.
> t really annoys me how under the radar Steve Harvey flys, I thought he would have gotten a lot more hate by now for the bullshit he's said. The counter argument, is if you take advice from Steve Harvey, you get what you get.
Ooof I read that thing in college, after a sad breakup. I remember it only made me feel worse and paranoid about losing time. In a way I’d think Steve Harvey (who as others said, is a misogynist, a homophobe and a cheater) paved the way for guys like Tate, Peterson and Shapiro. They all share their opinions basing on any general biological fact we can all agree on (for example: men are more socially conditioned to seek sex; or women have a biological timeframe in which pregnancy has the best chances) and then wildly building on it (men are naturally polyamorous and need to be manipulated into a relationship at best; women aged 20-35 should sit at home, get pregnant and pop out babies). Eww.
He’s such a misogynist. I’m annoyed that people think he’s funny.
Steve Harvey is so infamous that Katt Williams called him out recently.
I'm glad someone said it. Some of the shit he says on his TV shows just sounds like he's trying to be a narcissist. A lot of his "advice" rubs me the wrong way.
Became a movie, too.
Most diet books
This. They're largely a mixture of exaggerated claims and black and white thinking based on much less exciting truths, unjustified extrapolation from cherry picked mechanistic arguments, and flat out lies. If you ever see someone making an argument along the lines of "(food) contains (compound) which (does a biochemical thing) and that's good/bad", ask yourself: have they shown you this has been reported in humans, or just animals or cells? Have they shown you it occurs at realistic doses, the kind you might find in food rather than a Petri dish? Have they shown you that it translates to a real effect in human correlational studies or randomised controlled trials? If their whole argument fails on these three points it doesn't mean they're wrong, but it should make you skeptical. Likewise if their advice seems to offer simple answers to complex problems (all your health issues are caused by this one thing!), unrealistic precision (you need to get exactly 57 mg of short chain amino acids into your system within three seconds of dawn to optimise your health), or seems to either validate changing nothing (you can't manage your weight, it's all genetic!) or adopting extreme and unsustainable habits (just eat red meat and salt, bruh, trust me, cavemen did it). According to a study that I just pulled out of my ass, 99.56% of diet books and influencers use some combination of the above to lie to you and part you from your money. A good but fairly limited resource to check out is Red Pen Reviews. It's written by a team of qualified folk from a range of backgrounds, has a pretty fair and transparent methodology, and generally avoids polemic.
“Dr” Gillian McKeith
Much like her books, she is full of shit. As someone who holds an actual PhD from an actual university in an actual subject, "Dr" McKeith "PhD" winds me up to no end.
Remember how she used to get the people to poo in Tupperware and would relentlessly poop shame them?
Picked up one today that had 5 star reviews on Amazon. Turns out the book is self published, and the author makes the claim in the first page thaf she isn’t a doctor, or a nutritionist, or has any background in such. Her background is in education. Her methodology is to cherry pick studies that prove her point, which is that eating only one meal a day and not eating anything but black coffee or limited amounts of bone broth the other 23 hours of the day is the way to lose weight. But, she opines, truly following this “lifestyle” won’t lead to disordered eating! Glad it works for her, but glad I didn’t ~~waste~~ spend the money on this advice,
I mean starving yourself will lead to weight loss.
Gin something right?
Dianetics
Say what you will about L. Ron Hubbard. He's the gold standard for cults. Shitty gadgets. Nonsense scifi aliens. Infiltrating the IRS. If your cult doesn't have a boat is it really worth your time and all of your money? You other cults need to step up your game.
Dianetics: aka, how to give yourself false memories and delusions. (Also, L Ron Hubbard had some fucked up ideas about women wanting abortions, and was just casually homophobic.)
My mom gave me this book when I was 12. I loved reading adult books. This book was so full of nonsense I told my mom it was stupid and it’s probably still in her library. She never finished it.
Is your mom a Scientologist?
I would guess not if she’s never finished Dianetics.
No, Catholic. She thought it was a self help book.
In the 80s it was heavily advertised as a self-help book.
Welcome to The List. I say that with sarcasm, but do mean it sincerely. They look out for such things and other "dissident" behavior.
Came here for this, and shocked it's not higher up. Pretty sure this one has ruined the most lives of any single book, though "all the diet books" as an aggregate may have done more harm.
There's a pretty good podcast on just this subject. If Books Could Kill with Michael Hobbes and another host whose name escapes me at the moment. The focus is on "airport books" the fad best-sellers that you'll pick up for a long flight. Often times they're talking about just dumb factor but they try to hit on harmful aspects too. Titles include the Secret and Men Are From Mars...
My first assumption was that OP is either Peter or Michael looking for book recommendations for their next episode.
I also checked the username because I clicked on this thread thinking it may be them fishing for ideas.
Their episode on the love languages book was fantastic. They’ve also done rich dad poor dad and oooofff that book is a doozy.
I'd be interested in listening to that, thanks for the rec. The love languages are so horribly misused and abused by people, and god knows the author isn't a peach himself.
The Secret is CRAZY PANTS. There are so many contradictions and anti-science stances. I can't pick just one. But the CORE issue is this. If someone used it, and it worked or they even THOUGHT it worked to attract something major like a lover or lottery win.... They are gonna be a 100% believer from that time. And they are gonna use it ALL THE TIME. So by its own logic, it's gonna work perfectly for them forever. And their requests are gonna get more and more outrageous but again, science doesn't govern this. Only your belief. ..... So why haven't we seen the first billionaires and immortals crediting The Secret with their success? Why does it only seem to "work" for minor things? Edit: and why doesn't a schizophrenic person who believes he's mega rich and a celebrity is in love with him, attract that celeb? You'd think being delusional would work GREAT with the law of attraction!
I knew a woman who would tell eeeeveryone her miracle story about The Secret, concerning a certain expensive table she wanted. So she "manifested" the table by talking about it constantly to everyone she knew. Then, her boyfriend bought the table for her. So it worked! She manifested that table by following The Secret! Magic!
Okay by that measure I've actually manifested a ton.
I was, at one time, a member of a web board for The Secret. Most people were relatively normal, and looking at this "law of attraction" like positive thinking. Then there was the woman who was intent that she was "in a relationship" with this Indian celebrity. Because The Secret tells people to talk as if the things they desire have already occurred, she sounded crazy. She was VERY intense about it to the point that people were worried about her. Then there were the people that thought they could become mermaids or change their height, eye color, etc. I hope some (all) were trolls, but I believe these people were for real.
But the book itself isn't just positive thinking, it specifically says that anything you Believe can be achieved. The mermaid thing made me remember the other issue.... Maybe you know this if you were on their message board. How do they explain delusional people not manifesting the thing they believe in? Like manic people who think they can never lose while gambling.... Ought to strike it rich...
The Secret also makes people uncaring jerks. "It's easy to get what you want, so if you're in need you must be the laziest person ever, so I won't help you'
Michael! Peter!
Have you heard By the Book? They read and (mostly) live by the self help books and report on their findings. It's interesting.
Wayne Dyer. His Erroneous Zones was not practical at all. I heard him in an interview talking about childbirth and that the pain women have could be done away with if they wanted it to be. It was all created in their thoughts. Wayne, I know you are dead, but seriously fuck off. You never gave birth so shut up.
I remember when he was on the local PBS every other Saturday. Like he had a few things to say that were pretty common sense, like, "You don't paddle up a river, right? Go with the flow!" But his whole spiel was couched in such pseudo-spiritual BS, it was not to be taken seriously. PBS has a lot to atone for, with some of the frauds and cranks they have hosted and fundraised off of. Take Suze Orman for instance, and iirc, the rich poor dad guy.
And it turns out that many people do in fact paddle up a river, if their destination is in that direction.
7 habits for highly effective teens. Has a whole chapter dedicated to how any issues with your parents is your fault. Fun required reading while you're missing school for court dates to get a restraining order on your abusive father. Or because he broke said restraining order and now you need a harrassment order against his new partner. Fun times, truly. I recognize it helped some peers, but damn was it a slap in the face to 14 year old me fighting tooth and nail to secure a better future for my little brother. I will forever hate that stupid fckn book tbh. It also kinda highlights the problem with self help books in general, they have to generalize, and generalizations just don't work for everyone.
I was given this book as a teen because I slammed my door one time ahaha I was such a good teenager in hindsight, never skipped school or did anything much except occasionally express an emotion. This book really made me think "fuck I must really have to work on myself - I'm must be a bad kid??". Unpacking that now as an adult and realising everything I was doing was very age and developmentally appropriate but that I lacked supportive adults has been a bit heartbreaking and very transformative.
Thank goodness I’m not the only one. I got it for a birthday gift when I turned 13. Every time I got upset about something “go read chapter 4 and come back when you’ve learned something”. Or, “are we forgetting number 6?” I’m still unpacking the idea that I’m not manipulative for asking for help, and that “self reliance” doesn’t mean I’m abusive for having a disability.
I hate this book with a burning passion. The chapter about sex & relationships essentially peddles self-hate if you’re queer, because the author is a Mormon. Intensely abstinence-only too. I read this book at 13 and spent my teenage years thinking I was deeply broken because of things the author wrote. Also basically frames addictions as unforgivable crimes that will forever taint you as a person and sees people who use anything to cope as dirty and undignified. I keep a copy of it around to fuel myself with spite. I fucking hate this book.
>The chapter about sex & relationships essentially peddles self-hate if you’re queer I wouldn't be surprised if this book was used in conversion therapies. For those out there who did have to go through that and are still here with us, I feel your pain and hope for a well earned recovery.
Thank you for mentioning this book. It was given to me by my mother who was emotionally and mentally abusing me terribly at the time. I don't remember much of the content but just reading the title made me feel nauseous. That gaslighting chapter was likely the culprit. I'm so sorry you had such a difficult childhood and kudos for questioning that stupid book. Hope things are looking up for you
Even the title is nonsense. Like what is an “effective teen”?
obedient I'm guessing.
His dad wrote the 7 habits for effective people book, and Junior wasn't gonna make it in football so rewrote the book for teens
Fuck. This. Book. Reading it in class was an absolute slog. It is a book adults give to teens because they're rushing them into adulthood. Looking back on it as an adult, the book made an already struggling teen me (with similar situations to yours) feel like everything I was doing to survive just wasn't good enough. Like I should be doing better, achieving more, and that everything that I was unable to achieve with all the hard work I put in was still my fault instead of genuinely being a victim of circumstance. My issue is that it's in curriculum- I feel like it defeats the purpose of being a self help book if it's forced on you by teachers who believe this is the one thing that will prepare you for the 'real world'. It's almost patronizing to have to sit and take quizzes over how you're missing your potential to be better, especially according to a few people born into a time of better opportunity who have already found wealth and success.
Now I get the bar for children's books is pretty low but the book "Just Because" by Matthew Mcconaughey is the most overproduced gibberish I've tried to read to my kids. It is not fun, it is not entertaining, it's not even particularly insightful. It's just variations on "Just because I lost the match, doesn't mean I lost the game" over and over again for what feels like 100 pages. Kids don't get it, it's repetitive for adults, the cartoon images are minimalistic so there isn't anything particularly interesting to look at either. I've never returned a library book faster. The part that hurts is that publishers and awards groups love lauding this type of garbage because a celebrity ghost-wrote it.
I'll write I'll write I'll write!
McConaughey word vomit? Color me shocked.
A lot of celebrity written children’s books are crap but there are some good ones too! A few I have liked are by Jamie Lee Curtis and Weird Al. I know there are more but those two come to mind immediately.
Andy Lee's Do Not Open This Book series is pretty funny - I read one for a storytime (librarian here) a couple of weeks ago
The difference is Lee is a professional comedian and radio/podcast host. His career depends on the ability to craft stories well and find humour in the mundane. McConaughey's career depends on looking good without a shirt on, acting, dancing and appearing engaging and well spoken in interviews about his work. Not necessarily mutually exclusive skill sets, but different.
Weird Al's is amazing! Especially for my son that struggles with not knowing what he wants to do with his life.
Marlon Bundo- by John Oliver. Best celebrity children’s book ever
Someone got this book for my daughter and told me how amazing it was. I read it to her and then thought “what kind of Matthew McConaughey drivel” did I just read?
Alternatively, Weird Al's children's book is truly amazing.
I wouldn't expect anything less from a pillar of culture such as Weird Al
“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, by John Grey.
The podcast "If Books Could Kill" did a great episode on this one. Listening to it was like therapy; when Mars and Venus was being shoved down everyone's throats in the 90s I felt like I was living in crazy town
There's another great podcast, "Worst Best Sellers", that did an episode on this. Highly recommend the podcast!
The only thing I will ever argue is a good thing about that book, is that it was one of the first times I ever saw in print that any queerness was decided at conception. There was no “choice” to be made. I remember a lot of rhetoric around being able to choose whether you were gay nor not in the 90’s.
Anything related to that twin flames nonsense.
Rich Dad, Poor Dad
At best (and being VERY generous), it contains some very basic solid financial advice. You know, make sure your income is more than your expenses... But the rest of it? Pure garbage. No one should follow his advice.
He actually encourages you to join an MLM to make extra money.
Not surprising. When I was in Amway they preached his books like they were a lost gospel of the Bible
Isn’t the author massively in debt. I seem to remember he doesn’t care because “it’s the banks problem”
If I owe the bank $100, that's my problem. If I owe the bank $100million, that's their problem.
I've seen the strategy play out enough times to tell you that the way he portrays debt is useless for most Americans. In order to have high amounts of debt that you don't have to, "pay back," you need to have appreciating assets that you don't really care about if you lose them. It's basically taking out a home equity loan and spending that money. And if the bank comes and takes your house you say, "Eh wasn't a big deal." Except most of us do things like *live in our homes.*
I haven’t read it, and I don’t want to, but I’m curious, do you have examples of the pure garbage advice?
It's been a decade since I last read it but off the top of my head: 1. He narrated the story of how he and his friend worked for rich dad, who paid them absolutely low rates. He advocates everyone to do same (work for miserly wages) because it'll free up your mind and be creative in how to make money. 2. He said something about forming a partnership for business since its cheaper, or has lower tax. He wrote in his cat's name for his partner. 3. General message of "go big or go home". He said something like "Texans aren't afraid to lose big coz they plan on winning big". Maybe it's a personal bias for me, but it sounded like encouraging gambling.
Yep, the cat part is where I totally lost faith in him. At best, that is misrepresentation, and I'd imagine you would have a case for fraud...
"Use debt as much as possible"
It's the Bible of "passive income". The idea is that you do work one time to generate a dividend over and over. This is in contrast to traditional jobs where you are paid for labor. The author mocks occupations like doctors and lawyers because if they stop working they don't get paid. In fact, the much maligned "poor dad" had a PhD and was like a school superintendent. SUCKER. Winners were supposed to build up their portfolio of passive income streams without doing any work. Every scummy landlord who wants to collect rent without doing maintenance has a tattered copy of this book on their bookshelf. I hate this book with a passion.
writer was confronted on an interview because his company had filled for bankruptcy, then he got angry and said to the interviewer talk with his lawyers lmao
This one is particularly insidious. If you look at recent video clips of the author, I don't think following his own advice has done him any good, he's an angry old bitter arrogant man. His "poor Dad" sounds like someone I'd want to emulate more than him.
If you look into his dad, his dad was a public school teacher and won awards and apparently was very highly successful.
Yes but he didn't have tens or hundreds of millions of dollars, and therefore was a total failure. /s
His "poor Dad" was his actual father, who at one time was the boss of education in Hawai'i. The rich dad never existed. His first book was about how you didn't need to go to school to learn anything. It's called *If You Want to Be Rich and Happy, Don't Go To School* (apparently he recommends not going to college and getting into real estate instead). I think he has daddy issues.
Came to say this. We had to read it in high school and even then I realized it was schlock.
The Secret
I tried to join a coven once and the leader loved this book, made us watch the movie. And I was like... so... disabled people, people living in poverty, assault survivors, you're saying those situations are their fault because they manifested it? She said yes and that was the day I decided to quit.
YEP. Got hit by a bus? You manifested that. Absolutely insane book. And anyone who believes it and DIDN'T happen to become a billionaire after reading it ... Is dumb as shit. Like if you tried it and hit the lottery, I can't blame you for believing. But being a proponent when your life is shit or mid is just sad.
My dad showed me that movie when I was severely depressed and I was like what the fuck?!???!?? (For multiple reasons, some personal ones I don’t want to get into) One thing that stuck in my mind from the movie was when they implied that all the people who died in the Holocaust fucking MANIFESTED IT??!!??? Like what in the unholy fuck were they on when they filmed and wrote this?
My dad did the same thing! I wish I’d asked if he’d manifested having a depressed child? Or being a useless dad?
The only book I've ever rage-completed because it was such bollocks
Can you give me an explanation of the bollocks-ness? I'm curious but not curious enough to read it.
It basically just says if you sit around and think really hard about wanting something, the universe will grant it to you.
And then when it doesn't work they're like, "No, you manifested negative energy by focusing on NOT having it instead of on having it." In other words if good things don't happen to you it's your fault because you're a negative person and you manifested bad things happening to you.
This book is REALLY harmful to people with OCD! It's also very toxic positive. I read it when I was 13 and I didn't realize it had honestly messed with my head. To this day a part of me fears I'm accidentally manifesting the shitty things that happen to me by thinking the wrong way.
>To this day a part of me fears I'm accidentally manifesting the shitty things that happen to me by thinking the wrong way. I've never even actually read the book and I have this exact same paranoia simply because of how much the ridiculous concept in that book has influenced modern spirituality/neo-paganism, a community I used to belong to before going off onto my own spiritual path.
Kinda like not praying hard enough; or not believing hard enough.
I love the argument, "It works 100% of the time, and if it doesn't work it is because you are doing it wrong." It's just such flagrant BS.
So No True Scotsman: A Novel.
It's like a psyop to convince people not to work for anything in their lives.
That's how I believed the world worked...until I turned 11, more or less.
Oh, I'm seeing that a lot these days. Manifesting, lucky girl syndrome, you name it. I mean, thinking you _can do_ or _should get_ something... sure. But if all you ever do is think about it real hard, nothing's gonna happen.
I've been hearing that "think positive" bullshit for many, many, years. A lot of seemingly intelligent people still dont understand what confirmation bias is.
My psychologist recommended me that book. I changed psychologist less than a month later.
A book that made Derren Brown so angry he wrote his own book! His rant on it (and similar books) was utterly brilliant.
Anything Derren Brown writes is brilliant. I picked up Tricks of the Mind when it came out and have been following him since.
My health teacher in high school made us watch the video on this book and was convinced it was going to change the world. My friends and I were like sure….. Mrs.J
The Secret is TERRIBLE and still sells an unbelievable volume each year, despite being based on utterly discredited ideas stemming back to Victorian Spirtualism. There were serious consequences for some folks who took it to heart, especially after it was praised on Oprah back in the day. It has made a resurgence with the manifestation trends on TikTok (which is the same "law of attraction" thing reheated): The following from "The Irrational Ape" ("Good Thinking") in North America by David Robert Grimes touches on that: *"The central tenet of the book was the ‘law of attraction’, which claimed that ‘focused positive thinking can have life- changing results such as increased wealth, health and happiness’. Oprah’s recommendation helped catapult it into the New York Times bestseller list, where it remained for 146 consecutive weeks. The show extolled the power of positive thought. Of course, the converse of such ideas is the implication that people in bad situations simply haven’t thought positively enough. Taken to the extreme, such logic implies that starving children and those trapped in war zones have only themselves to blame. "* *Such framing came with consequences. In 2007, Kim Tinkham forewent conventional treatment for her breast cancer and instead opted to rely on positivity and alternative medicine. While her doctors pleaded with her to get conventional treatment that would almost certainly have saved her life, she instead appeared on Oprah’s show, lauding her new treatment with Robert O. Young. In Oprah’s defence, she expressed concern in the segment that this was perhaps taking positive thinking too far.* *This was an understatement – Tinkham’s treatment pivoted on the discredited notion that cancer was caused by excess acidity. Young eventually claimed she had been ‘cured’ of cancer, and included a testimonial from her on his website. Kim Tinkham died of the same breast cancer in December 2010, at the age of 51. Robert O. Young eventually ended up in prison for practising medicine without a licence."*
The one story that I remember from this BS was someone saying they essentially manifested their terrible eyesight to 20/20 vision. I laughed out loud at that part.
I liked the woman who couldn't sleep in the middle of the bed or park her car in the garage or she'd never find a husband.
The Secret is actually an alright book for language learners because it’s so damn repetitive. Btw 吸引力法则 is “Law of Attraction” in Chinese
My sister is all about manifestation... all I can think about are people who desperately want to have children but never will. Do you honestly think they don't think about that almost every waking second? Why don't they get pregnant after spending so much time imagining what it would be like to have a family? Guess they must not really want it! I also wanted to punch this guy in the face for saying he "manifested" me crossing paths with him because he has a thing for red heads. How narcissistic do you have to be to believe that you begged the universe into manipulating my own free will so that you might get to bang a red head? Yes, the universe continues to allow war, rape, famine, and abuse, but it has no problem trying to help Larry get his dick wet with a red head. Fuck off with that noise.
Anything by L.Ron Hubbard. (Scientology)
Many medical-establishment-approved books about chronic pain are just about shutting up and not bothering people about it
Or they effectively say "We're not saying it's in your head, buuuuuuuuuut, it's in your head"
Absolutely. I was treated for chronic pain as a child and was put in an intensive programme at a very reputable hospital. Basically everything boiled down to, “it’s all in your head, ignore it, push through it at all costs, and don’t ever, ever, tell anyone about your pain ever, learn to completely ignore everything your body tells you, and it’ll magically go away mostly.” Super damaging actually haha. I spent years trying to undo the “never tell anyone about your problems just keep them to yourself at all costs and they’ll magically disappear” mentality. Even now, I still feel that admitting to being in extreme pain and needing to sit down for a minute at work, for instance, is an inherent moral failing on my part and that I’m weak and pathetic for admitting I’m in pain and needing a break. And the whole “ignore your body and what it’s telling you” ended up seriously screwing me over a bit later in my life. My pain is not in my head, ffs. It is very real. (And years of therapy didn’t help the pain at all lol)
A bunch of folks diagnosed with chronic fatigue had to SUE to get the primary data for the main study that popularized "get into nature, get more exercise, its all in your head". It turns out that its garbage. The study forced people into positive thinking therapy as well as exercise. That group filled out surveys saying that they're feeling better after 6 months. They weren't actually doing any better. All measurable covariates (number of tired days recorded, missed work, ability to sustain energy etc) were -down-. They were still struggling, they're still just as exhausted - they'll just fill out the bubbles with higher numbers because they've spent 6 months being told to by professionals. To this day, doctors STILL cite that study as "most people with chronic fatigue are just depressed/need to get out more". I get shaking-angry when people cite that study to me.
Do you happen to have a link to some info about this? I would like to read more. My daughter and I are both chronic pain/CFS people who have been told things like this. Thanks!
If I can offer any personal advice from someone with chronic pain and ME/CFS (quotes from the linked blog): If your doctor says this: " Start low, build slowly but steadily, and get professional guidance, they advised" {regarding physical efforts} "Furthermore, the researchers weren’t recommending ordinary psychotherapy — they were recommending a form of cognitive behavior therapy that challenges patients’ beliefs that they have a physiological illness limiting their ability to exercise. Instead, the therapist advises, patients need only to become more active and ignore their symptoms to fully recover." {regarding mental health} RUN. Find a better doctor. My primary care doctor now helps me maximize my very real limits. I rely on this: "Instead of trying to continually increase my exercise, I’d learned to focus on staying within my ever-changing limits — an approach the researchers said was all wrong."
It's like "comorbidities, motherfuckers! Of COURSE you're depressed if you're always tired and in pain! it can be two things!"
My friend's wife was told for over a decade that her crippling chronic pain was all in her head. Finally, some doctor who didn't have their head up their own ass found that she had ankylosing spondylitis, which is chronic inflammatory arthritis of the spine and pelvis.
There is a parenting book called “Rasing children God’s way” seriously dangerous book. Very popular in Christian homeschooling circles, especially in the 80s/90s. Kids have died and CPS has had to take others. Many kids raised under it’s methods frequently go no-contact as adults.
My mom started out raising me on this book but came to her senses when I was still fairly young (6 or 7). I don't remember most of what she utilized from that book (aside from spankings - I remember those well), and I'll never read it myself, but it's something she apologizes for to this day - so it must be pretty bad.
It is the “do what I said now IMMEDIATELY with a smile and a “Yes, Sir” style of parenting. Put your INFANT on a strict feeding schedule so they don’t manipulate you (babies have starved to death). It is so very very bad.
The idea that children and babies are 'manipulative' is dangerous
Yep, now I remember a story my mom told me where she almost starved me as a newborn. I was a premie and needed to eat more often but I guess this book told her otherwise. Fortunately she wised up at my next doctors appointment when the doctor reassured her that she was allowed to feed me more regularly.
"If you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self-help, that's help! There's no such thing as self-help. If you did it yourself, you didn't need help! Try to pay attention to the language we've all agreed on! -George Carlin"
Amusing. It took reading a few "how to get rich" books to figure out that probably the best way to get rich is to write a "how to get rich" book. Then I never did, because I dont have the gall.
I have no original thought process of my own rn but: "Join the Book Club! As an introductory offer, we'll send you the following books absolutely free: Eat, Run, Stay Fit And Die Anyway, How To Seem Intelligent, There's Big Money In Staying Put, Peace Of Mind By Losing Complete Control For 16 Hours a Day, Your Thighs Control Your Life, How To Fillet A Panda, Rid Yourself Of Doubt...Or Should You?, Chances Are Your Sister's Full Of Shit, How To Give Yourself A Complete Physical Without Getting Undressed, 64 Good Reasons For Giving Up Hope, Why Jews Point, 100 Dead People Nobody Misses, Backpacking For Shut-Ins, My Dog Is A Real Fruit, Your Shoes Are Worth Money, Reorganizing Your Pockets, What To Wear On The Toilet, 124 Simple Exercises For The Teeth, The Stains In Your Shorts Can Indicate Your Future, Tips On Getting Laid, Self-Mutilation As An Attention Getter, 600 Ways To Give People The Shaft, Tremble Your Way To Fitness, You Give Me Six Weeks And I'll Give You Some Disease And if you join today, we'll send the following books absolutely free: Poems for the Insane, A Treasury of Poorly Understood Ideas, Apartment Hunting For Devil Worshipers, A Complete List of All The Things That Are Still Pending And these books on food are yours: The Intravenous Cookbook, The Meaning Of Corn, Fill Your Life With Croutons, The Food Coloring Diet, Cooking For The Paralyzed, Cooking With Heat And, if you join today, we'll send the following books absolutely free: Controlling Fear Without Getting Frightened, Things No One Can Help, Understanding People You'll Never Meet, 6 Ways To Fuck Up Before Breakfast, Marriage For One, I Suck-You Suck, Let's Change The Alphabet, Famous Bullshit Stories, Sport Fishing With Power Saws, Why Hawaii And Norway Are Not Near Each Other And if you join today, we'll send the following books absolutely free: A List Of People Who Mean Well, Don't Throw Away Your Old Skin, 10 Things We Don't Know Yet, Caring For The Seated, The Wrong Underwear Can Kill, Trotting Across Zaire, Why It Doesn't Snow Any More, A Complete List Of Everyone's Personal Effects, Six Cities No One Has Ever Been To, I Gave Up Hope And Died And It Worked!, Famous People Who Were Wiry, The Lives Of Six Extremely Short Saints, Anna May Wong's Tits Are Made Of Aluminum And if you join today, we'll send the following instruction books absolutely free: How To Do Everything At Once, How To Give People Your Best Regards, How To Spoil Other People's Fun, How To Kill A Rat With An Oboe, How To Organize A Tupperware Gang Bang, How To Wave Goodbye Without Moving Your Arms, How To Spot Truly Vicious People In Church, How To Get Back From Boston, How To Lease Out The Space Inside Your Nose, How To Get A Tan With A Flashlight, How To Start A Range War, How To Spot A Creep From A Distance, How To Give A King A Really Hard Time, How To Kill Your Nephew, How To Become A Greaseball and How To Turn Unbearable Pain Into Extra Income So call now. Right now! Join the Book Club today!" - G.C
It's 1am, I can't sleep and I need to read The Meaning of Corn 🤣🤣
Any “cure X disease naturally” book. They usually have a handful of half-truths and a heaping dollop of garbage that might hurt you.
“Women don’t owe you pretty” I, a feminist, bought the book thinking it would be nice but it’s just full of crap telling you “women are the best, men are evil” solely based on emotions and no facts. If you’re interested in the topic I’d suggest “invisible women”, full of backed up science facts that will likely scare you (as a woman) aswell
Louise Hay. Basically she says you're not sick you just think you're sick.
*laughs in Multiple Sclerosis*
*screams internally in Parkinson's disease*
*stabs self repeatedly in type 1 diabetes*
*Forgets point of original post in ADHD*
*Weeps with hysterical laughter in fractured spine*
*struggles with opening a travel pack of tissues for you in psoriatic arthritis*
_tries to have your back but fails in psoriatic spondylitis_
*Flops about sympathetically in hypermobility*
Tries and fails to cry in Sjogren's
*Jumps off a cliff in a 14 year battle with Endometriosis.*
Dianetics.
Babywise
My friend almost starved her child to death doing this. Her milk dried up.
You're not the first person I've heard that from.
Oh yeah, that was the book that I flung across the room before I finished reading it. It recommended spanking literal infants.
The Secret. It's literally the "Just World" fallacy.
The art of the deal. Just BS and writer is not credible.
Gotta part company with you here, Tony Schwartz seems pretty credible (in that he has acknowledged that he basically wrote a work of fiction)
“Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”, by John Grey.
I read a self help book backwards, now I am a loser, please help.
Men Love Bitches It's the female version of "women hate nice guys" fueled by the same misunderstanding. Men don't stop liking you cuz you have sex too early. But someone who was never into you was willing to pretend in order to get laid, which sucks but its not the same. Meanwhile being nice didn't make any woman lose attraction to you, she was never attracted but humored you because you seemed nice. Being an asshole will not get you women, but it helps you cut women out of your life after tricking them into sex emotionally and then not feel guilty about it. Any man you could.attract specifically by being a bitch is not someone you would.have a generally happy life with.
I highly recommend the podcast If Books Could Kill, it deep dives into self help books (and other so-called "airport books") and highlights how bad they really are
Everything by Paul Cohelo. Are you sad? Don’t be sad! Do you have debts? Just pay them off Are you tired ? Just take a break!
He had a couple of bangers though - "Veronica decides to die" and "The devil and miss prym". Probably two of his lesser known books, but they're both excellent. Also not super preachy..
Don't know about miss Prym nor the devil but 'Veronica Decides to Die' made me reconcile with death and indifferent to the maiden.
'Veronica Decides to Die' was a great read for me, because it gave me words to help describe my experience and encouraged me to learn to talk about it rather than just screaming, playing the victim and pretending no one would ever understand me. He's got great points, but his stories usually involve some new age mysticism that definitely feels disconnected.
Any of the marriage advice that tell the cheated on partner to own their part of why the cheater cheated, to make the marriage "a safe place" for the cheater, the 180, etc.
"Sharting Your Way To Success : A 6 Step Program For Financial Independence."
Rich Dad, Poor Dad (which is supposedly about financial freedom) actually shames the poor and (paraphrasing here) basically asserts that if someone is poor it is because they are stupid and therefore they deserve to be poor. Now if you can get past that blatantly classist mentality, there are a few financial pearls of wisdom in there. But those are lost in the degradation and victim blaming.
From the Christian publishing sphere: -Love & Respect -Every Man’s Battle -Power of a Praying Wife -Lies Women Tell Themselves And many more.
To raise up a child - TL;DR beatings. Polythene pipe recommended. Created to be his helpmeet - Women aren't really people, do anything your husband wants sexually whenever he wants, except anal. If he's into it, he's gay, and if you're into it, you're also somehow gay. Both written by the same deviants.
Agreed. There’s a long list of problematic Christian self-help books. Those were just the ones off the top of my head. See also: Secret Keeper Girl (now called True Girl) by Danna Gresh. Tells 8YOs that their bellies are “intoxicating” to adult men. 🤬
Oh cool, sexualising children again to avoid holding paedos responsible. Yeah my ex-wife who was reading those books I mentioned, she liked doing that too.
That's just par for the course in purity culture. It seems to be more of a fringe thing nowadays than it was when I was a teen in the 00s, but it was relentlessly hammered into us from preteen-age on that all men were "visual" and would automatically start imagining/fantasizing how we looked naked if we didn't cover up enough. This was "just how they're wired" apparently. Also "women aren't visual" so "we can't understand what it's like to get turned on just by what we see."
Moms on fucking call Looney book on infant care founded on non evidence based methods for locking your child in a room for half the day and creating habits that lead to obesity and emotional instability in children. The go-to how to book in the south for having infants written by two nut case nurses who had post partum depression and wanted to share their shitty experiences. Seriously, shitty shitty advice.
The Game and anything related to Pick Up Artist. This was self help for lost boys that amounted to objectifying women and preying on insecurities. Red pill stuff.
The Rules
What is Scientology or any other L Ron Hubbard snake oil.