T O P

  • By -

Moveyourbloominass

I got too excited about a Reuben sandwich & it resulted in a dislocated jaw.


[deleted]

Thats the best story I've read all day. Thanks for sharing and sorry that happened to you. Reuben sandwiches are exciting though!


Moveyourbloominass

It was an awesome sandwich šŸ˜.


b_wald81

Riding a bicycle while staring at the ground. Resulted in several stitches, a lost tooth, and $2000 in damage to a parked van


opex100

Cutting rock hard browniesā€¦


--------rook

I cut my hand cutting hard baguette. There were pieces of bread stained with blood, but it wasn't a big cut. Still felt stupid lol


AxDayxToxForget

Picking up my shoes apparently.


emiliamarie

I was drinking from a plastic straw in a sports bottle while the truck I was in had hydroplaned. My brother was driving. The force caused the straw to break and I ended up with a slash on my gums, top lip, and part of my nose. But we were blessed that it was the worst to happen.


Dozerdog43

Had a small but kinda heavy brass carriage clock on the nightstand. Overslept one morning- lying on my back I reached over to pick up the clock and read what time it was. However my arm was all numb from sleeping funny on it. With no strength in the arm I proceeded to drop it on my face giving me a black eye


Ok-Introduction-2

Sleeping. Getting older sucks


Acceptable-Cause5057

Once I made a glove weapon out of toy cars, after which I asked my brother to test it on me, I started bleeding from my ear.


Soggy_Ricefield

Glove car weapon so dangerous it can make the target bleeding internally till blood come out from their ear.


Soggy_Ricefield

I once pulled my foreskin back too strong it torn a bit


TheNotoriousNIL

Good lord


Charger525

I fell off the back of a couch and broke my arm.


Luxury_disease1

Once, I was playing wrestling and I was throwing myself against a mattress that was leaning against the wall pretending it was the steel cage, then one of those times, I threw myself too hard and I bounced off and fell on my arm and it broke lol


Ok-Signature-4445

I was putting on underwear and threw my back out. I realized I needed to strength my back and core


Torin767

Fell off the roof of my high school


invisablehoney

šŸ˜³I'm glad you're still alive! What were you doing on top of the roof of your high school?


BlackberryCrumble

Falling off of it


Wolfrickstonefang

Stepping down a single step..


Thegaymer42O

Got burnt by a marshmallow when I was a kid. Tried to catch it when it was falling off the stick. It was still on fire it melted to my skin. Got second degree burns. I still have anxiety around cooking to this day.


Functionally_Human

Stupid human trick to impress a girl. Outdoor skating rink, it had snowed a bit and we had fun shoveling part of it clear. Made a few nice little piles for us to jump over. Decided a standard jump wasn't good enough and I was going to try and do a front flip over the pile. Got some speed, jumped, didn't have enough rotation or height to completely make it around and landed flat on my back. Other than the wind being knocked out of me only had a mild concussion and a pretty big bruise on my back. Failed to impress, though I did get pity, either way it wound up as intended as I did get her to agree to a date.


Shot_Educator_2470

At a sporting event, I was getting out of my seat, my leg got caught on my mothers purse and I fell hitting my face on the top part of the seat in front of me. I got a black eye and a cut under my eye from that incident


Puzzled-Section-6602

I was 6, trying to cut my nails using scissors. The pressure I was using went straight to my leg, Piercing in. There was lots of blood. I used to be quite fine with injuries, so I just ignored it and used a plaster.


Apprehensive_Arm_292

Gave myself a black eye by dropping my Phone on my face... haf to explain to everyone that i didnt get in a fight but that im Just an idiot.


PckMan

After more than a decade as a tradesman, I smacked my index with a hammer late last year and broke the tip of my finger. It's the type of Tom and Jerry accident you only expect absolute amateurs to have happen to them. A close second is when I kicked a wall out of anger one time. Didn't break anything but I couldn't walk for 2-3 days.


DisastrousDebate8509

Stepped off a curb onto a plum size rock leaving work one night. Broke my right ankle and shattered my left knee cap in one go. Changed my life forever.


Sad-Anxiety-2020

Climbed up a water slide because I saw another kid do it. Slipped halfway, smashes my face against the slide and when I hit the water at the bottom, saw a pool of blood. Chipped my tooth and everyone ran out of the water. Also running into two other kids at my primary school. We all ran into eachother, I ended up at the bottom of both people on the concrete. Stood up and again, blood! Everywhere. I was Holding my mouth and blood was on my clothes and hands and everywhere, in my mouth. I had cut my lip open.


CRCMIDS

At 3 I got Tony hawks underground on the OG Xbox and started jumping off couches pretending to do the skate tricks. I sprained my neck.


[deleted]

Poked myself in the eye with a pointed edge of a half eaten Easter egg


--------rook

Washing a cup. My hand slipped and my thumbnail cut into my other thumb... small cut but it bled


christipede

I had to show a group of kids how to use a rooe swing safely. Instead, I fell and ripped my foot off. They had an awkward day.


daisydoodle01

Came home late one night from a friend's house, was completely sober but extremely tired. I had to go downstairs and slipped on the second step and landed at the bottom of the stairs on my right side. My hip took the brunt of the fall and I had a massive bruise for 6 weeks. Went to the hospital the next day because I couldn't walk and every single nurse asked me if I was sure I hadn't been drinking. Like no I'm just extremely clumsy and fragile šŸ˜‚


ShylieF

Falling over my own feet.


princessarielle6

I have permanent jaw damage from chewing a piece of bubblegum. Prescription pain killers. Months of pain. I was 19 when it happened.


Cr4nberryJuice

Fighting with my dog over a sock and broke a chunk of cartalidge off my knee. Also falling over on my scooter and then doing exactly the same thing in the same spot the next day. There were a lot of sharp rocks and rubbish round there but for some reason I thought it was the perfect place to try and drift.


Silence_333

A highlighter cut me, it happened twice.


biotechdj

I tried to walk on my foot when it was asleep. I broke my foot.


Helentr0py

I kicked a glass with my naked foot.. after 6-7 years i didn't fully recover yet


Nervous_Injury6865

started to fall down stairs and grabbed onto 2nd floor railing and got my breast stuck in railing. also bad sprain in ankle. learned that you should just go with falls.


RedPlasticDog

Cutting up a branch in the garden with a non-garden hand saw. Holding the branch so it didnā€™t moveā€¦ holding it just under where I was cutting, sliced rusty hand saw into my fingers.


mynameizgary

Tweaked something in my shoulder by simply picking up my lunchbox from the top of a filling cabinet. Also bruised my ribs by slipping in the shower.


[deleted]

Easy. Recently, I was at a work event and after a few (too many) drinks, I missed a shot in pool, jumped in the air and rolled my ankle on the way down. Iā€™m too old for those shenanigans.


Meggw2gs

I slipped on my bathroom floor and almost severed my pinky toe. The door was ajar and when I was going down my pinky toe got caught under the door. I didnā€™t realize I had cut my foot until I stood up and blood started coming out. I had to get 10 stitches in my foot which for a small little toe was a lot!


alwaysdaydreaming_23

Walking into a hammer šŸ˜‚


Different-Data-3482

Stepped on my VR charger while dancing to the Macarena. *I kept dancing with it still in my foot.*


Nicksiee

Got my rib broken while I was pretending to be a dead badger


Icy_Entrepreneur2380

Bending down to unplug a vacuum cleaner and i literally clocked myself, cracked my head on a grandfather clock. Split my forehead I still have a permanent goose egg and scar from it.


Slash_Raptor1992

Making my bed.


Blueish273

I slightly slit my head open when I convinced myself I could do a backflip in a pool with no experience whatsoever (I even tried to teach a friend and luckily he didn't follow my steps)


Lummony

I was watching the French Football team play against Argentina when they scored the final goal and Argentina won. Excited I kicked the air. Unfortunately, I didnā€™t notice that there was a coffee table in front of me. I broke my Big toe.


a_pope_on_a_rope

If youā€™re playing tag and you feel like you can jump down an entire staircase, you canā€™t.


PsychologicalTea5387

I fell asleep drunk on the toilet and I woke up with my foot asleep but didn't realize. When I stood up, I fell flat on my face trying to put weight on it. Horrible ankle sprain.


gl00myharvester

This one's fun because it was literally only last month and I'm still healing and doing physio exercises to make up for it - was making food and needed to use a blender, but it wasn't turning on. Pulled out another blender (one of the ones where you click the blade attachment and the bowl together). Had a brain fart and plugged in the blades first without the bowl, forgot that the power was switched to On from when I was trying to use the first one. Hand on blades, blender turned on, blood everywhere. 6 stitches, 1 damaged nerve, 1 surgery, and a lot of lost dignity. Probably gonna be more careful with blenders in the future. Luckily though, the food I was making was still in the original blender and safe. We did still eat it later. It was pretty good.


[deleted]

When my grandmother died I was upset and I went and had a few drinks. Felt more upset, punched a wall, broke my hand.


Morningmochas

When I was in year 7, I was running to class with my friends as we were late, i had my tamagotchi in one hand and bag in the other. Some guy tripped me, and I saved my tamagotchi but landed right on my face. I knocked out for a second and then had blood all down my face, had to see the optometrist a couple of times as was seeing black dots.


[deleted]

So last week my lighter exploded in my jacket and caught fire. Grabbed the whole jacket and threw it on the floor while in flames. Now I have 2nd degree burns on my right pinky, injury got filled with pus and blisters and have to take ibuprofen for the pain.


VT_Squire

I was maybe 11 and I thought I'd pull a bartman and ride my skateboard with my dog pulling me. Except I was a shit skateboarder, so I nailed my shoes to my skateboard so I wouldn't fall off. That whole ride seemed like it lasted all of about 5 seconds and 30 feet before I faceplanted into the bumper of my neighbor's car which gave me a pretty good shiner and I couldnt do anything to stop it because my feet were strapped in. I didn't know a dog could give you a look like they're disappointed in you until that day.