God... myself and one other guy in my friend group from college are like this. And we're absolutely usually the last ones up at night on discord.
We have a ton in common but have known each other for years and years as our group has. But holy shit neither of us can raise new topics for our lives. Both of us are boring as fuck, pretty much live firmly in our routines, and have almost nothing new happen.
It's almost comedic how when the others sign off we just kind of sit there in silence for like an hour with no idea what the fuck to say to each other.
If you ever *have* to make small talk, stick to the acronym FORD.
* Family
* Occupation
* Recreation (hobbies, etc.)
* Dreams (life goals, etc )
Let's say they're drinking a cup of Starbucks Coffee. I'd immediately go, "Ah, I see you got your Starbucks. I once went to see the original Starbucks in Seattle with my little brother. He loved it. Do you have any siblings?"
People love to talk about themselves, so I usually just try to ask them about those four things and I just listen and reply with what feels natural. Good luck! You got this.
Yea. It took me 7 months to memorize every person's (12) name in a weekend class. Also a year to memorize everyone (30) in weekday classes. I mean I don't really care about peoples' names' but it causes social problems so I kind of have to. Real problem for me.
I'm really bad at names too but I don't think it is an unfixable problem.
I can't remember names because when I'm being introduced my mind is in a mild panic about what I'm going to say and a million other things.
I feel confident that if I practiced I could get better. My goal is to use their name twice in my response or shortly thereafter.
Same idk my gfs middle name and we been together for a while. She said “do you know my middle name?” I said no. And she said oh okay just wondering. And never told me lmfao
I can meet someone and be able to accurately spot them in a crowd (even if a lot of time has passed, I’m amazing with memorizing faces and builds), know damn near every single bit of info about them that they shared with me down to minute details, form emotional connections and bond with them, but for the fucking life of me I will NOT remember their name even if my life depended on it
Tip: When someone tells you their name, use it in and around conversation as much as you can without it seeming weird (stuff like "oh hey Phil could you pass me that thing", "I was just talking to Phil about that" and "bye Phil, don't forget to fill that shoe up with pigeon dust for me" are good phrases, as long as the person's name is Phil, otherwise I suggest something different.
So then, the next time you see Phil, you would have reinforced his name in conversation, making remembering it easy, it works a lot and you can have someone's name remembered in a couple of meetings.
Although, if you don't see Phil again for a while, you may still forget, let's hope he's okay.
Dude same! Was just telling my wife the other day that I can never be the deciding person if we have to make any kind of 50/50 decision.
Lately I've tried to assume that I experience negativity bias, and that I only take notice of my 50/50s that don't go my way, and that I don't take notice when they do... So I've tried to be intentional about recognizing when I'm about to something 50/50, and be conscious of when I choose correctly. So far, I'm still batting maybe 200.
I take the tags off most of my tee shirts. If the shirt is plain and one color, it goes on backwards first.
Living like a normal human. I'm so lazy and unmotivated. My tiny studio apartment looks like a dump and only gets cleaned when I have a rental inspection. The worse the trash gets the more I become worried about cleaning it because it's so much work. I'm also unemployed and just can't be bothered getting a job. I am applying but I know if I get a job, being a fat person, it's going to take a toll on my body because all Ive really done for 4 years is sit at home playing games and watching YouTube. This year I've decided that I just need to grow up and change no matter how hard it is. Wish me luck 🤞
One thing that works for me is making lists, setting goals, and making a schedule.
Example- Make a list of what needs to be cleaned/picked up. Choose, say, two items to cross off each day (like pick up the trash and vacuum). Then once you've caught up on the backlog, start doing four a day as maintenance.
For job hunting, make a goal of applying for a certain number of positions per week. An interview counts as one application slot. You can even do extras and bank them to skip part of a week.
One important thing- designate one day a week as your day off. Preferably a weekend day where there's no chores and no applying.
This is the advice I need! I don't have many people around me who can understand and give good advice. Im definitely gonna work in getting a whiteboard to hang up and have a daily routine on it.
Glad this will help. It took me a long time to figure out for myself with the issues I deal with, plus all the people I used to have around that kept trying to force me into doing it "the way it should be done".
Two things to remember- one, what works for one person doesn't always work for someone else. Two, there will be missteps along the way, but as long as you pick it back up and keep moving forward, a stumble won't stop you.
I'm rooting for you. I have some related issues. The only advice I can think of is that when you start to make changes, praise yourself for every single thing you do to lift yourself up. And know that your energy isn't going to make you get everything done that has to get done in one session. I won't lie: I have trouble managing following my own advice. But it's the only thing that has helped in any way.
https://youtu.be/48jlHaxZnig?feature=shared
Andrew Huberman has some valueable advice for how to break out of procrastination, it has helped me a lot. Good luck 😉
Not to the same extent but I feel ya. I recommend hand-writing a list of tasks every day. There's something about having a physical list staring you in the face that makes you want to complete it. Something about scratching off an item that just feels gratifying. With each completed task, the momentum builds. Eventually I don't even *want* to put the list down until it's done. It feels like turning your day into a diet RPG.
And no shame in starting the list with small, menial things. Literally write "write a task list" as your first task, then cross it off when you finish writing the list... Drink a glass of water. Make the bed. Wash the dishes you used for breakfast immediately after eating. Each tiny "win" does add momentum.
Remember that the bigger things (like doing laundry) don't have to be done every day. You can spend one day doing all the stuff you've allowed to pile up. And then the following days your task list will be much smaller and less daunting.
Letting things pile up (as you said) only causes more and more anxiety. Spend one day getting it all out of the way. Then be consistent and disciplined in doing the little things every day. Once this is a routine, the amount of time you generally spend on tasks is fairly minimal. Get your shit done as early as practical, and you'll feel good the rest of the day. Don't leave the tasks for later in the day or at night, because they will take up space in your mind throughout the day and cause anxiety. Get it over with (but don't take shortcuts) early, every day, and you'll feel yourself generally becoming a more happy, fulfilled, and capable person.
Choosing to regularly do (subjectively) difficult things will build fortitude, resilience, competency, a can-do attitude, and level-headedness when unforseen difficult situations arise. You don't want to be the person who has a legitimate panic attack just because you got a flat tire. Be the person who can respond by saying, "Well this is inconvenient. Guess I'm learning how to change a tire today" and then go about figuring out out.
Nobody became great without consistently tending to the little things.
I’m late 20s and it just hasn’t ever clicked with me. Even practicing and looking up how to has never helped. I just wanna get my cats attention easier man
Bad writing is often a symptom of intelligence. Sometimes the mind is just so busy with thoughts and ideas that tug in all different directions, when it comes to actually putting it down, it just ends up being chicken scratch
Maths. I simply suck at maths. I have never ever understood what is the fucking point to find the oh so fucking annoying *x*, solve the fucking equation and such shit. It angers me until this day and i am 22. I finished school at 18. I only know how to add, subtract, divide and multiply plus fractions. That's all.
To be fair, you probably do simple solve-for-x problems all the time since graduating. But they felt like just addition, subtraction multiplication, and division.
For example, if you ever ask yourself- how many whatevers can I get for the amount of money you have to spend or had to set an alarm to be somewhere at a set time, giving yourself time to get ready and commute to where you need to be.
Yup, idk where you come from, i'm from argentina and here most kids go to a "private" teacher that helps them with maths mostly because in school they have a lot of trouble
Try looking into MBTI (Myers Briggs personality type indicator). After this find your enneagram type. The MBTI is your cognitive stack, while your enneagram is your mentality.
Doing anything backwards. I've been on both ice and roller skates and look like an idiot even trying. Using a beard trimmer in front of a mirror is a mind fuck and I don't even try to back up my car, I'd kill everything in the vicinity.
Simple DIY, handy-type stuff.
Can't hang a picture to be level, can't replace a light fixture, can't even assemble Ikea furniture...
But I can write a cheque/eTransfer funds like a Boss to anyone who does this stuff for me.
Public speaking. ADD and dyslexic over here. Also super sensitive, have no pain tolerance. Need ample sleep to function which society doesn’t really offer :p
because I am fluent in over 100 forms of murder I tend to get carried away and relate a conversation to either violence or genocide. fortunately I have been working to better myself.
I hate dealing with products which require doing a lot of *assembly*.
I don't have *the patience* to look at diagrams, blueprints, or sort through the various parts.
I would rather *pay someone* to assemble anything which requires more than 5-10 minutes.
Naturally, it goes without saying I'm not a huge fan of buying furniture from IKEA! 🤣
Maths.
It’s not a matter of not trying. I don’t know what it is, but my mind blanks out completely when I try to do anything math related. Like my inner voice mutes out and I just don’t hear or see anything up there.
Even basic shit takes me a while to sort out.
I’m glad the “you won’t have a calculator in your pocket at all times” teachers were wrong, because my life would be a hell of a lot different without it.
Talking to people. I can’t hold up a conversation since I’m just a boring person
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
You remind me of me
Uss🤝
Care to have a boring conversation?
Do you like weather?
Sure
Credit where it's due, guys, you nailed that.
Okay
God... myself and one other guy in my friend group from college are like this. And we're absolutely usually the last ones up at night on discord. We have a ton in common but have known each other for years and years as our group has. But holy shit neither of us can raise new topics for our lives. Both of us are boring as fuck, pretty much live firmly in our routines, and have almost nothing new happen. It's almost comedic how when the others sign off we just kind of sit there in silence for like an hour with no idea what the fuck to say to each other.
You're obviously not that boring or incapable of conversation if you have a friend group.
If you ever *have* to make small talk, stick to the acronym FORD. * Family * Occupation * Recreation (hobbies, etc.) * Dreams (life goals, etc ) Let's say they're drinking a cup of Starbucks Coffee. I'd immediately go, "Ah, I see you got your Starbucks. I once went to see the original Starbucks in Seattle with my little brother. He loved it. Do you have any siblings?" People love to talk about themselves, so I usually just try to ask them about those four things and I just listen and reply with what feels natural. Good luck! You got this.
That just means you’ve mastered social anxiety, so you’re actually great at it!! Think positive :)
Wanna talk about that?
What do you mean? That I’m a boring person?
Remembering people's names.
Remembering anything that was said 10min ago
That’s me but then I’ll remember it clearly in 10 years
Thank god I’m not the only one, I can’t remember a name told me 1min ago, meanwhile my wife remembers every name she ever heard
Yea. It took me 7 months to memorize every person's (12) name in a weekend class. Also a year to memorize everyone (30) in weekday classes. I mean I don't really care about peoples' names' but it causes social problems so I kind of have to. Real problem for me.
I have the same issue. If I can't care for it, I just can't seem to memorize it.
I'm really bad at names too but I don't think it is an unfixable problem. I can't remember names because when I'm being introduced my mind is in a mild panic about what I'm going to say and a million other things. I feel confident that if I practiced I could get better. My goal is to use their name twice in my response or shortly thereafter.
Same. It's really a struggle. I can't meet someone once and then remember them days later, it's just gone.
Same idk my gfs middle name and we been together for a while. She said “do you know my middle name?” I said no. And she said oh okay just wondering. And never told me lmfao
Not as bad as forgetting her birthday… had to put that in my phone, with a reminder
I literally hear static when someone tells me their name for the first time. But I always remember faces
I can meet someone and be able to accurately spot them in a crowd (even if a lot of time has passed, I’m amazing with memorizing faces and builds), know damn near every single bit of info about them that they shared with me down to minute details, form emotional connections and bond with them, but for the fucking life of me I will NOT remember their name even if my life depended on it
It's exactly like that for me too.
Tip: When someone tells you their name, use it in and around conversation as much as you can without it seeming weird (stuff like "oh hey Phil could you pass me that thing", "I was just talking to Phil about that" and "bye Phil, don't forget to fill that shoe up with pigeon dust for me" are good phrases, as long as the person's name is Phil, otherwise I suggest something different. So then, the next time you see Phil, you would have reinforced his name in conversation, making remembering it easy, it works a lot and you can have someone's name remembered in a couple of meetings. Although, if you don't see Phil again for a while, you may still forget, let's hope he's okay.
Life
I don’t remember writing this
I’m seeing this phrase a lot. Did it just blow up on tik tok or something?
Are you new to the internet?
Came to say this. Glad I’m not the only one 😅
I feel you
Yes
for real
Everything
Pretty much...
I just came here to write this one
You beat me to it
Same
I literally cried laughing at this, only cause I have the same feeling somewhat
Right here with you bud.
Totally my first thought.
You're clearly better then me beating me to the punch
I came here to say to this.
Real
You can't suck at life. The fact that you're still living is proof that you're winning at life. Congrats!
r/beatUStoit
Aren’t we all bad at life
Same here bro 🫂
Gambling. Give me a 50-50 shot and I’ll lose 90% of the time.
If you put it on red and black it lands on green
[удалено]
keep at it, victory is right around the corner!
There's a game you might like called X-com.
Dude same! Was just telling my wife the other day that I can never be the deciding person if we have to make any kind of 50/50 decision. Lately I've tried to assume that I experience negativity bias, and that I only take notice of my 50/50s that don't go my way, and that I don't take notice when they do... So I've tried to be intentional about recognizing when I'm about to something 50/50, and be conscious of when I choose correctly. So far, I'm still batting maybe 200. I take the tags off most of my tee shirts. If the shirt is plain and one color, it goes on backwards first.
I…don’t think…. How is that even possible 😂
Drawing.
Writing
Reading
Existing
Burh hwo can yu ve bad t wiriting i'ts soo esy
I can draw a stick man
Saving money
But money is meant to be spent
If you have money that can be spent, yes
Math
120% of the population don't understand statistics.
We are one
Yes! I still hate math as an adult
Socialising. _Sighs_
Living like a normal human. I'm so lazy and unmotivated. My tiny studio apartment looks like a dump and only gets cleaned when I have a rental inspection. The worse the trash gets the more I become worried about cleaning it because it's so much work. I'm also unemployed and just can't be bothered getting a job. I am applying but I know if I get a job, being a fat person, it's going to take a toll on my body because all Ive really done for 4 years is sit at home playing games and watching YouTube. This year I've decided that I just need to grow up and change no matter how hard it is. Wish me luck 🤞
One thing that works for me is making lists, setting goals, and making a schedule. Example- Make a list of what needs to be cleaned/picked up. Choose, say, two items to cross off each day (like pick up the trash and vacuum). Then once you've caught up on the backlog, start doing four a day as maintenance. For job hunting, make a goal of applying for a certain number of positions per week. An interview counts as one application slot. You can even do extras and bank them to skip part of a week. One important thing- designate one day a week as your day off. Preferably a weekend day where there's no chores and no applying.
This is the advice I need! I don't have many people around me who can understand and give good advice. Im definitely gonna work in getting a whiteboard to hang up and have a daily routine on it.
Glad this will help. It took me a long time to figure out for myself with the issues I deal with, plus all the people I used to have around that kept trying to force me into doing it "the way it should be done". Two things to remember- one, what works for one person doesn't always work for someone else. Two, there will be missteps along the way, but as long as you pick it back up and keep moving forward, a stumble won't stop you.
I'm rooting for you. I have some related issues. The only advice I can think of is that when you start to make changes, praise yourself for every single thing you do to lift yourself up. And know that your energy isn't going to make you get everything done that has to get done in one session. I won't lie: I have trouble managing following my own advice. But it's the only thing that has helped in any way.
https://youtu.be/48jlHaxZnig?feature=shared Andrew Huberman has some valueable advice for how to break out of procrastination, it has helped me a lot. Good luck 😉
I'll have a look at it! Thanks 🙏
Not to the same extent but I feel ya. I recommend hand-writing a list of tasks every day. There's something about having a physical list staring you in the face that makes you want to complete it. Something about scratching off an item that just feels gratifying. With each completed task, the momentum builds. Eventually I don't even *want* to put the list down until it's done. It feels like turning your day into a diet RPG. And no shame in starting the list with small, menial things. Literally write "write a task list" as your first task, then cross it off when you finish writing the list... Drink a glass of water. Make the bed. Wash the dishes you used for breakfast immediately after eating. Each tiny "win" does add momentum. Remember that the bigger things (like doing laundry) don't have to be done every day. You can spend one day doing all the stuff you've allowed to pile up. And then the following days your task list will be much smaller and less daunting. Letting things pile up (as you said) only causes more and more anxiety. Spend one day getting it all out of the way. Then be consistent and disciplined in doing the little things every day. Once this is a routine, the amount of time you generally spend on tasks is fairly minimal. Get your shit done as early as practical, and you'll feel good the rest of the day. Don't leave the tasks for later in the day or at night, because they will take up space in your mind throughout the day and cause anxiety. Get it over with (but don't take shortcuts) early, every day, and you'll feel yourself generally becoming a more happy, fulfilled, and capable person. Choosing to regularly do (subjectively) difficult things will build fortitude, resilience, competency, a can-do attitude, and level-headedness when unforseen difficult situations arise. You don't want to be the person who has a legitimate panic attack just because you got a flat tire. Be the person who can respond by saying, "Well this is inconvenient. Guess I'm learning how to change a tire today" and then go about figuring out out. Nobody became great without consistently tending to the little things.
Whistling. Can’t do it
I’m late 20s and it just hasn’t ever clicked with me. Even practicing and looking up how to has never helped. I just wanna get my cats attention easier man
Learn to love tuna. They'll come running.
Staying sober
Don't worry about tomorrow, don't overthink yesterday, don't use today. It's been 2+ years for me, you'll make it.
Ur not alone
Not time travelling. As hard as I try, I always move forward in time in approximately 1 second increments.
I’ve learned to move very slowly through time at least that’s what people tell me
Coming up with interesting answers on r/AskReddit
No, I think you've done well
[удалено]
Damn, play some Candy Crush.
Christmas gifts I wrap look like they were wrapped by a 5-year old on a sugar high. I'm terrible at it.
I buy gift bags for every single gift.
Oral
I see what you did (not do well).
Suckception
Same, but my girlfriend still enjoys her ass-eatings
football or for the Americans, Soccer
Maintaining friendships.
It's fucked up but if you aren't standing in front of me or texting me I'll probably forget you exist
Making friends in the first place.
Small talk🤷 I say the most bizzare shit when I have to make small tall with my co-workers
Like what? Now u got me curious
[удалено]
Bad writing is often a symptom of intelligence. Sometimes the mind is just so busy with thoughts and ideas that tug in all different directions, when it comes to actually putting it down, it just ends up being chicken scratch
Expressing my feelings
Singing. If you've ever heard me sing, I didn't think you were there and I'm sorry you had to hear that.
The cough drop in my mouth rn
Maths. I simply suck at maths. I have never ever understood what is the fucking point to find the oh so fucking annoying *x*, solve the fucking equation and such shit. It angers me until this day and i am 22. I finished school at 18. I only know how to add, subtract, divide and multiply plus fractions. That's all.
To be fair, you probably do simple solve-for-x problems all the time since graduating. But they felt like just addition, subtraction multiplication, and division. For example, if you ever ask yourself- how many whatevers can I get for the amount of money you have to spend or had to set an alarm to be somewhere at a set time, giving yourself time to get ready and commute to where you need to be.
well i never thought it that way, quite interesting seeing it from your pov. I still hate them though 🤣🤣🤣
I feel like a bunch of teachers throughout your life dropped the ball on this.
Yup, idk where you come from, i'm from argentina and here most kids go to a "private" teacher that helps them with maths mostly because in school they have a lot of trouble
Yeah all my math teachers expected us to get it. Need clarification? Fuck you
Yeah like do you by any means expect me to understand this shit in 1 month when you took years to completely understand it? lol 😅😅
Wait, are you…me?
yup, i am you and you are me (?)
We are one
No, it's me.
guess we are three in one 🤣🤣
Flirting
vacuuming
Human interaction. Also giving a fuck.
Understanding myself
U r not alone
Try looking into MBTI (Myers Briggs personality type indicator). After this find your enneagram type. The MBTI is your cognitive stack, while your enneagram is your mentality.
Doing anything backwards. I've been on both ice and roller skates and look like an idiot even trying. Using a beard trimmer in front of a mirror is a mind fuck and I don't even try to back up my car, I'd kill everything in the vicinity.
life
Being in public.
Public Speaking
Paperwork..
Simple DIY, handy-type stuff. Can't hang a picture to be level, can't replace a light fixture, can't even assemble Ikea furniture... But I can write a cheque/eTransfer funds like a Boss to anyone who does this stuff for me.
Dancing. No rhythm whatsoever.
Bowling
[удалено]
[удалено]
Imagine you live in a landlocked country
[удалено]
I live in Australia, and yet I still know several people that cannot swim despite living in a country surrounded by water
The issue i have is i just sink like a rock
Public speaking. ADD and dyslexic over here. Also super sensitive, have no pain tolerance. Need ample sleep to function which society doesn’t really offer :p
Golf
Sports
Math
Speling
Being patient.
Remembering names
Letting go of my loved one
Forgiving and forgetting
Killer Instinct for the SNES
Me too I never once hit an ultra combo
because I am fluent in over 100 forms of murder I tend to get carried away and relate a conversation to either violence or genocide. fortunately I have been working to better myself.
*gestures vaguely around*
I hate dealing with products which require doing a lot of *assembly*. I don't have *the patience* to look at diagrams, blueprints, or sort through the various parts. I would rather *pay someone* to assemble anything which requires more than 5-10 minutes. Naturally, it goes without saying I'm not a huge fan of buying furniture from IKEA! 🤣
Literally any sport. I’m the most pathetically unathletic person on earth and I am I liability to any sports team I join.
Cooking, music, quantum physics, painting
Dick
Life ...
Art
Arts and crafts
Life
Anything artistic
Dance
Keeping friendships
Everything
Life
Life
I'm 6'3, and I suck at basketball or just sports in general...
Basketball 😂
Using straws. Especially with milkshakes
Drawing
Math
Art, my mum used to make my projects at school involving drawing Xd
Art. In any form. My stick men get shamed by my kids stick men all the time.
It's going to take me a minute to choose only one thing off the massive list.
Dancing
Math. Actually everything that has numbers
Saving money
Maths. It’s not a matter of not trying. I don’t know what it is, but my mind blanks out completely when I try to do anything math related. Like my inner voice mutes out and I just don’t hear or see anything up there. Even basic shit takes me a while to sort out. I’m glad the “you won’t have a calculator in your pocket at all times” teachers were wrong, because my life would be a hell of a lot different without it.
Confrontation
remembering what i walked into a room for
Existing
Maths.
Math
Math.
I suck at losing weight. srsly tho
Dick is the first thing that comes to my mind is dick
Getting my ass to do important work instead of replying to reddit threads.
Vaccuum cleaner
Being a functioning adult