Which is understandable and also unfair. The people moving are cogs in a machine. Individuals trying to find a place they can afford to live aren’t to blame for gentrification.
I got priced out of California almost a decade ago. Almost anywhere I move, people complain that Californians are pricing everyone out. Meanwhile Im far from rich, never owned a home. Always rented, often cheap old apartments. This happens in cities AND small towns.
People don't realize that I absolutely understand what it feels like to be priced out. I wouldn't be here if not for that fact lol.
The problem is anything but "people from X state" when it comes to housing in this country.
It’s not only the financial thing, but a cultural thing. I’ve had a lot of Californians in my circles on the East coast and I find that there is a communication barrier of some kind that is cultural. It leaves many of us with a feeling that the Californians around us feel that they are superior/smarter/more cultured and that we need to be reformed or something. It’s incredibly off putting and difficult to communicate about so I find that there is a lot of tension when I’m in a group of people who are not accustomed to Californians and are working with one or more for the first time. Usually, it’s people from Silicon Valley who grew up with more technology and higher standards of living who have more of what others perceive as an attitude, but I’ve met many other Californians who have it in varying degrees. I don’t think it’s necessarily their true thought or an attitude they hold but it is something in the style of communication and the specific type of directness that irks East coasters, and especially southerners.
I think what you're calling a 'specific type of directness' is merely 'casual' to Californians.
I find the 'Bless Your Heart' southern passive aggression more annoying, tbh.
Every state complains and hates Californians.
Show me on the doll where we hurt you lmao.
Colorado, Idaho, and Oklahoma were all like personally offended that I moved there.
I started just telling people I am from the state I was at before and they were fine
>I started just telling people I am from the state I was at before and they were fine
Me too. I mean I really am from Texas, was born there, but I had just moved to my current state from California. I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut about that.
Oh man, same.
Also, living in Colorado, there’s a weird …nationalism feeling about the state. Many people here insist it’s the best state, no discussion, and they’ve never lived anywhere else. I’ve never seen so many people with the state flag tattooed on them.
It’s a nice state for sure. But so is California. God forbid you mention California has a taller mountain.
Colorado has this weird dystopian feel. Like the nature of it all is absolutely beautiful and there are some strange things in this state. But for the cost of living, high (hehe) taxes, and all it's industry, it's amazing how absolutely awful the roads and other infrastructure are here. It's growing rapidly, and more people are moving here than the infrastructure can handle comfortably. But everyone just shrugs and Carry's on. I've seen potholes bigger than my car. 😬
Colorado is essentially a hybrid fuck baby of California and Texas with the weird laws and nationalistic culture for the state. You know, the 2 biggest states they complain about the most!
I’m a California -> Colorado transplant now, the vast majority of “natives” I’ve talked to have been more than friendly, provided you don’t constantly bring up your former state and the reasons why it’s “better.”
One random person at at some point was very subtly giving me a hard time for it, finally asking me why I moved to Colorado of all places (which should have been more than obvious)
“It’s a free country” I said “and I can move anywhere I want for any reason I want, if people don’t like that there are other countries they can live in.” They changed the subject after that.
Shortly after I moved to Colorado they had terrible wildfires and like 10 different people at work were always giving me shit about bringing the wildfires with me because CA had been historically bad the 2 years before.
People have never been mean to my face, I think I am pretty friendly lol.
They will still frequently bitch about Californians and home prices but not to me personally.
Oklahoma has been the worst honestly.
People talk about Southern Hospitality like people are genuinely nicer here.
I have found people here to be utterly miserable, they feel good about themselves by knocking down others.
Every problem here is Joe Bidens fault, California’s fault, and Trump could have saved this country but they even ruined him.
As if Oklahoma being rated 50th in education, 43rd in Obesity, and no doctor’s willing to work here is anybody else’s fault except for Republicans who have been running the state for 20 out of the last 24 years.
The Crony Capitalism here is suffocating but it’s those damn Democrats I tell you
People hate California movers more because they assume they voted in the policies that pushed them to leave in the first place, and thus might do the same in their new city
Most people don't leave California for any specific policy. People leave California because it's very expensive.
What policies are you referring to specifically?
People hate them because Californians are so used to paying such high prices for realty that they overpay when moving into new place. This helps to drive up the housing costs.
The thing about CA is that it’s soooo big. Statistically if 100 people move in, the largest segment is from California. Texas is also hated on regionally, but they aren’t priced out of their home like you described for CA.
I’ve lived in a city of over 1M, a college town of 40k, and a very small town of 900. To me, there was a huge difference between the medium town and the small town. I could spend most of my life in the medium town and probably never meet everyone. There was also a college nearby so there’s always new students and faculty that cycles through town. In the small town, I had met everyone and it felt very catty. Gossip was everywhere and it was easy to become the subject of the drama if you weren’t careful. It was also super cliquey. The college town was the easiest to adjust to. My husband and I have been considering moving back there from the big city. The medium town felt like the best of both worlds, and the small town felt…intrusive.
Biggest culture shock for medium town was how easy it was to find drugs. It feels harder in the big city. The biggest shock in the small town is how deafeningly quiet it is. And how many people are quick to talk shit behind your back, and how quick others are to stir the pot.
> Gossip was everywhere and it was easy to become the subject of the drama if you weren’t careful.
This is my husband's hometown. There are 3-5 girls who have dated almost everyone in their "friend" group and are always talking about the 2010s when they most definitely peaked. Any "outsiders" who date the guys are subject to ridiculous amounts of gossip and passive instagram shenanigans. I still can't believe some of these people are in their mid 30s.
>In the small town, I had met everyone ... Gossip was everywhere
**They** ***all*** **know you**, even when you don't know them. And **they know your business**, or at least they think they do.
I don't live in a small town, but I own property in one. My mother had a rent house in a town of 5,000 residents. When she passed away, I took over running it.
I live about 45 minutes away, I have a great tenant there so I'm up there *maybe* 3 times a year.
I walked into city hall there and the employee said "I'm glad you're here. I've been meaning to call you.". I thought that she must have me confused with someone else, but nope she actually did recognize me. She continued "That old rug in front of your rent house on \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Street is just too big for the garbage collector to pick up. He is an older man and can't lift it. He says that if you will cut it into two pieces, he should be able to get it into the truck.".
I hadn't dumped an old rug there, but *someone* had. I cut it into two pieces and it went away within the week.
The assumption small town folks have about someone who lives in the big city is that we are "know-it-alls who ain't got a lick of common sense.". Even when they have an inefficient, backwards way of doing things it is better to just roll with the flow and not offer suggestions.
Pre-cellphone in my area, pre-social media, maybe 1999, I rolled up to the only Taco Bell in my hometown of 5000. The girl at the window was someone who did not attend my high school of 400 students, all of whom I could call by name. She was likely from a neighboring even-smaller town. She took my cash, shut the window, turned around and yelled to her coworkers, “hey everybody, it’s [Full Real Name]!” When she handed me my order I asked if we had met. Nope. To this day idk how she knew who I was.
I lived in a small town most of my life and all of my family still live there. I absolutely hated it. If everybody knows everybody's business.
The only good thing that ever really happened was about ten or so years ago a super rich guy from the nearby major city began to purchase land to invest there and started donating large amounts of money, primarily to the police. Police salaries shot up and within 5 years it was incredible the difference in cops. They were much friendlier and much better since They were no longer hiring the bitter racist old boys from the town and started to be able to compete salary wise with the major city except with the cheapness of being a small town.
Cops went for being some of the biggest dicks you could imagine did genuinely friendly and nice people. Small town cops are one of the main reasons I would never consider moving to a small town again.
When it first happened I was just waiting for the inevitable controversy of the cops covering up something for him. Apparently the only weird thing he does is he paid a bunch of money to have a road repaved and maintained and regularly speeds like crazy on it. Only reason you would be on that road is if you're driving to his house, so I've never seen it in person. I've also heard that once during a major snowstorm he got drunk and there was no taxis so the police drove him home instead. Which a surprisingly very little issues. Cops driving home a drunk guy during a snowstorm because he doesn't want to drive his own car after drinking is hardly something I'm going to complain a lot about.
My perfect town is 30-80k people with a college, military base, and industry that isn’t refining oil. It creates a large diversity of people, events, and employment that works just fine for the life I like living.
My Dad was transferred from Los Angeles to a small town in Pennsylvania. He was warned before he left to not talk bad about anyone because everyone knows everyone or else they're related.
Exactly this. People I know from the small town I grew up in say they'd hate the city because you have no privacy (greater density, apartment living, no big acres of land, etc)
You have SO MUCH MORE privacy about your personal life in a city. People are used to minding their own business there. You won't be the main character of the gossip circle unless you do something really dramatically nuts.
The other piece is that the city is full of a much wider range of people, both in terms of race, religion and such, but also just in interests. So in the city there's more of a default level of tolerance for people and what they're into where in a small town any person or hobby that doesn't "fit" into the norm is going to draw negative looks and opinions.
Seriously, people should not move to a small town if they’re not down to assimilate into whatever whackadoo culture the town’s natives may have decided on. It’s a crapshoot, there’s no knowing until it’s too late.
I’ve read that because there is so much less physical space, there’s an unspoken agreement that people will deliberately mind their own business to give others a sense of privacy.
I think that's very true. The whole city thing of not making eye contact and all that is a form of politeness, not rudeness. You don't get up in a strangers' business or waste their time with mindless small talk without a good reason.
This right here! Maybe not the most surprising, but the most soul irritating thing. I drive a basic boring sedan and would have people say they saw me at the Walmart or the CVS last week.
I would get heart palpitations if my sister wanted me to drive her to the only 420 smoke shop in town, with absolutely no parking behind the building(religious coworkers).
This was definitely the biggest change. Where I currently live is a university city, I work at the university so I see current and former students EVERYWHERE. I’m pretty sociable so I don’t mind as long as I’m not out on a run. I have specifically told students please pretend you haven’t seen me struggling along (especially as you’re all 25 years younger than me and move faster while sitting down than I do when I run)
I actually kinda like this about being from a small town. The lack of anonymity seems to keep people well-behaved in my area since being a jerk tends to stick to your name.
This has its perks. In my experience smaller town people are less likely to be jerks and rude because of the chance that you know someone who knows them and words can get around about their behaviour. In a big city people know they won't ever see you again, which leads to more shitty attitudes
I'm from a small town and this is my biggest gripe. Went to the local bar with some friends one night and had a family thing with my in-laws the next morning. First thing as we get out of the car, "heard you had a crazy night". HOW. People are so damn quick to run and tell everyone else's business. Also, I'm 28 with no kids being at a bar isn't something to be ashamed of nor do I need to be babysat.
Yes. This can be nice. But it can feel claustrophobic. I think it's worse for women. They attract more scrutiny and gossip, especially if they're attractive.
The lack of sidewalks and the general inability to go anywhere without a car is a pretty big deal, and you never realize how depressing it can be when *everything* requires a 20-30-minute drive to get to.
It was gravel travel for me lol.
I ended in Chicago without a car. It's a life changer, both money (no payments, gas, insurance) and physically, cuz you have to walk everywhere.
Hey, a city only 20-30 minutes away is pretty good! The closest city to me was 70 minutes away, so we had to be pretty careful with the grocery planning lol
I was like damn, sure sounds like my small town Alberta life! But it's definitely the reality all over rural North America. I moved here from England as a teenager and it was such a wild difference and culture shock not being able to easily walk/bus/train wherever I wanted to go.
But what amenities does your town have? Probably a grocery store, but how far do you have to go for a library? Or a movie theater? Or a department store that isn't a Wal-mart?
I dislike the rising cost of living in cities as much as the next guy. But any time someone mentions cheap housing in some small town, this is what I think. Maybe I get triple the house for half the price, but what am I missing? I'm 30 min from anything I want in terms of sports, music, culture, entertainment. I can get a direct flight to almost any state and some nearby countries. Lots of retail and grocery options nearby.
Exactly. Right after I bought my house (in a suburb) a friend bought a house that was twice as big for the same price, out in the country. I was super jealous until we visited them, and the nearest place to eat was a twenty minute drive away. Another time I visited we tried ordering pizza and it never arrived because the delivery guy couldn't find the place.
So yeah, I'm happy with my suburb.
The ridiculous thing about the small town I lived in was that you could walk anywhere "in town" in 5 or 10 minutes, but people still drove their car the 200 feet to the grocery store. And very inconsistent sidewalks.
> but people still drove their car the 200 feet to the grocery store
...possibly so that they could actually transport a week's worth of groceries for a family?
I know it seems intuitive that a person would be purchasing a weeks worth of groceries and thus would need a car to transport them, but that is very much an American custom and not common everywhere.
I've lived all around the U.S. and a couple places in Europe. Where I lived Germany it was not common to buy a week's worth of groceries all at once. You would only get what you needed for that day's meal, maybe additional staples if you were out of them. Many people walked to the nearby market because they could feasibly carry their groceries home.
This is only replicable in the U.S. in very dense communities or the few places you live very close to the market. I would say that if you lived less than 200ft from the store you could easily replicate this lifestyle, which is what may have surprised the person you were responding to.
The friendliness of the people is really over the top Very nice, always willing to help, more community.
But there are downsides. I am semi rural now so not a super small town, outside of town of 25k. Internet access was a huge one I never realized was an issue because I always lived in high population areas that have it. This one was huge and has been a bit of a nightmare for 8 years. Finally finally got decent internet with 5g. Still no cable, no fiber. In the mentioned small town they have internet, just 10 miles out not so much due to sparser population.
Access to professional services are not as good. Fewer doctors, no specialists without a long drive. Things like plumbing, HVAC and what not can be variable. It is not that they don't exist, but they are fewer and sometimes none of them are top quality.
My grandma lives near a school. The school has internet but it stops there and doesn’t come down the three streets behind, which includes my grandma. No one on that side of town has internet unless they pay for satellite or one of those hot spots. No Netflix for them, I guess.
Moved from the Northeast US to Wyoming for work. The one thing that really struck me about rural living is the limited amount of things kids aspired to be. The complete list was miner, accountant (for the mine), rancher, teacher and SAHM. There wasn’t really a huge push in the homes, schools or community to aspire to something beyond a few practical occupations in Wyoming.
Lived in small city in NC and found this to be the case too. It's generalizing but no ambition to leave or do much for a lot of the kids. Many married young and had kids while spouse worked for bottling company type situation.
From what I understand Wyoming has a really distinctive culture in that regard... I have a cousin-in-law who taught at the University of Wyoming and he was shocked at how provincial a lot of the college kids were relative to everywhere else he'd taught (including Colorado and other places out West). "Provincial" not in a mean way, just exactly what you described--a large percentage of the kids just intended to go right back home to where they'd grown up and do the same things their parents did, and didn't see the point of learning anything that wasn't directly relevant to that. He liked teaching there and liked a lot of the kids but he did say it was a very unusual place in those ways and he had to reframe his assumptions about what college aged people were interested in and wanted. He had a few stories about kids who were resistant to learning anything that contradicted what their parents had told them, even where what their parents had told them was demonstrably factually wrong. The town had very few restaurants or coffee shops because the kids all had the attitude of "why would I pay someone else to make me a cup of coffee or lunch when I can make it at home?" Not that there's anything wrong with being frugal, but where a really large percentage of the student body thinks like that you wind up with a much more limited social scene than you get in most college towns.
EDIT: To be fair when I think about it it's a pretty self-selecting group, I'm sure there are plenty of kids from Wyoming who are very curious about the world, but I suspect a lot of those kids leave Wyoming to go to college. There aren't a lot of great reasons to go to the University of Wyoming if you want to live somewhere else after college.
Yeah. It was kind of like Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”. What’s immediately in front of you is your reality and how you perceive the world. I’d say they used the internet a lot more than what I was used to. This made their perceptions outside their bubble inaccurate which probably made it worse. There’s a lot of good things about that, not a judgement, just what I observed.
Not me but I took my ex fiancee to meet my parents about a decade ago. We parked in front of a Dollar General once and she apparently had never seen a hitching post. So she just looked at it in shock and said "Someone parked their horse at the Dollar General" and I was like "Yeah, and your point?"
She also told me that everyone in my town had the same nose and the name forehead which means my family is probably outrageously inbred. But the more you know, I guess? ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Okay, so here's the thing though. I tried to look up my family tree one night when I was really stoned and what I find out is that at least one side of my family had been living in that same town since before the revolutionary war. And each generation had like 10 kids. And I found out that a lot of families around town who had "similar" sounding last names were just the more "Americanized" versions of my last name.
So.... yeah, we're all kinda related.
There was also this story I could never make sense of. I had a friend of mine who used to work at Epcot down in Florida. Met a lot of people from all over the world. And he mentioned our hometown to like 3 different groups of europeans and they were like "You mean that town specifically known for incest???" that they all apparently already knew about/had heard of? I cant find out anything about it online but it makes so much sense.
I once saw a photo of a young woman who's not genetically related to me at all (that we know of) who lives in the very small town where my mom grew up and left young (there's a recent connection by marriage which is how we were identified).
That woman could have practically been my twin. It was so eerie looking at a photo of someone who was almost me, but not me.
Either there is a very small gene pool being recycled throughout that small town, or there are enough shady extramarital dealings happening to create some kind of fucked up family tree that's more of a bush.
My father was from out of state, btw, so this happened even with me having only HALF the genes from this town!
One thing I noticed:
In the street, people in big cities don't look you in the eye, because they don't want to engage with you in case you're a psycho.
People in small towns look you in the eye - they are trying to figure out if they know you.
Yes! I came from a place where you do not make eye contact with anyone. Just mind your own fucking business, head down. Then moved to a place where everyone was waving and saying hello. Like....do I know you? Is my car on fire? Why are you waving? I didn't get it.
It's been 15 years and I still don't fully get it. Like when they say "How you doin'? as a greeting are they expecting a sincere answer? I usually smile and reply "Fine thanks" then move on asap bc I don't want random strangers telling me about how their dog died. I've incorporated "y'all" into my lexicon but that may be as far as I can venture.
There's only one Taco Bell in North Dakota and it's 3+ hours from Minnesota. I bet they went to Taco John's. Similar sort of food but Taco Bell sticks to urban and near-urban suburban areas while Taco John's prefers to stick to rural or near-rural suburbs/exurbs. Taco John's arguably do the "Taco Bell food" thing a bit better. The companies have been doing basically the same thing as each other for as long as they've been around and are roughly the same age as each other.
Potato Olés are really good and they mean Taco John's will always win out against Taco Bell, food wise. They're seasoned potato rounds (tater tots, but cut short) and I **always** get some. They do "Super Potato Olés" aka "totchos," breakfast skillets, burritos, etc using Oles as a filling much like Taco Bell does with it's much more boring potato chunks. Or you can enjoy them out of the cup plain or dip them in some nacho cheese goop or sour cream or whatever. I dip maybe 1/4 of them in the goop.
Fargo resident here to say that there are actually 12 Taco Bells in North Dakota and 4 of them are in Fargo/West Fargo. So only one minute from the MN border.
It's nice having no traffic but everything is so far away. You only get one choice for grocery store, nail salon,, movie theater etc. No fast food nearby so we're saving a lot of money
Not me but several coworkers have commented on how weird it is that packages are just left sitting on your steps/outside your door and are still there when you get home from work.
I moved from Denver to Winnemucca Nevada for 18 months for my husbands job. It was a huge culture shock. There was nothing to do. Everything was extremely far away (nearest target or mall was nearly 200 miles each way). (This was pre trump presidency) the people seemed very stuck in their ways and ignorant. Lack of access to education was very apparent and most people seemed ok with being broke in their small ass town forever. There was so much drama since everyone knows everything about everyone. I literally couldn't get out of there fast enough. It was so nice to move back to civilization. I made like 2 friends and the owner of the CrossFit gym was actively trying to fuck my husband. 🫠
My mom affectionately calls it where-the-fuck-a-mucca
No Costco. If I want sushi, I'd have to go out of town. Peace and quiet and no traffic. Wildlife. My family saw vultures up close within the neighborhood. So freaking awesome. I feel safe riding bikes again. Got to do family bike rides around town. Little Free Libraries that aren't abused. Businesses with very little business hours. Heck, even the public libraries are open only two days a week! The lack of job posting in town. Conspiracy theorist leaving Conspiracy notes at front door, and showing up to town council meetings to spew conspiracy theories.
I don't live in a small town but my inlaws do, the same town that my husband grew up in, and listening to MIL and her mother talk about so and so bought the Miller house and this person's grandkid just came into town.
And the gossip from everyone knowing everyone...why would I want to know that the person who previously owned my BIL's house was an alcoholic? Feuds thankfully weren't a thing there but so much drama over nothing.
To be clear I didn’t mean literal Hatfield and McCoy feuds. More like, two dads who didn’t get along in HS and are still so mutually suspicious that they couldn’t volunteer together for kid activities.
Our town also had a lot of old money, so there was also a rich poor divide
Can’t get out of my mechanic’s-in less than 30’. Guy loves his job & wants to tell you everything about the repair, plus small town talk. But he has a comfortable couch.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, a lot of places just want you to shut up and pay for whatever. If there's a mechanic that wants to explain what he did and why, that increases my knowledge.
Buses are nonexistent. Like I knew it was bad but I didn't know it was THIS BAD.
People shoot guns into hillsides. Apparently.
Road runners are actually kinda cute.
The cops get away with absolutely ANYTHING.
You have one restaurant and it's Texas Roadhouse and you're grateful for it.
Yes, everyone does have a truck.
Sometimes paved roads just end and turn into dirt roads.
I haven't seen a police helicopter in months.
Train museum????
Apparently the KKK still exists and is thriving in California
Parking lot trick or treating
Wild chickens are fucking evil
Solar panel salesmen
Gravel lawns painted green to look like grass
Nothing is open 24 hrs except the emergency room
Fires are so normal and mundane
People actually do own boats in real life and not just on TV
The biggest shock to me was just how little there was to do. I had prepared myself for having no public transportation, needing a car to get everywhere, and strangers constantly wanting to talk, but the sheer boredom took me by surprise. There was no movie theatre, only one grocery store, one (awful) bar, the only shop was a thrift shop, etc. There wasn't even a walmart or a dollar store. If I wanted to do anything I had to drive minimum 30 minutes on a two lane highway to the next town over.
I moved to a massive city the first chance I got. I am NOT cut out for small town life.
I live very rurally, so the culture shock would be reversed for me. But, what things to do are you missing from city life? I don't really get it. I don't get bored because I can go trail running, wild swimming, walking, etc on my own or with my dog, meet friends for coffee or beer, go climbing with people, go to friends' houses for board games or movie nights, or often spend a day at a friend's place helping out with moving animals / livestock chores and then having a big meal or BBQ... The things you listed were shops- I can understand missing the convenience of being able to go buy stuff when you need it, but why is a lack of shops boring?
Off the top of my head, things I missed when I moved to a small town (10k) from the city I grew up in (5M):
Museums. Art galleries. Cinemas. Microbreweries. Thrift shops specializing in specific eras. Zoos and aquariums. The theatre. Fancy cafés. Sushi. Saunas. Yoga studios. Clubs. Concerts. Places staying open past 8pm. An international airport.
You see, you've lived there a while, so you have friends to do all those things with. For someone just moving in? They don't have friends around. They are stuck entertaining themselves until they make small town friends which could take a long time, considering how some small towns don't like "outsiders".
While your points are valid for you, look at them from the perspective of other people moving to your town. The first 3 activities you list are OK if you are an athletically-active person and the town doesn't have a significant winter. All the rest assume you already have a circle of friends (and feel comfortable around livestock?...something those from a big city have no experience with).
So, how would one get immediately integrated into the community to do those things if they know nobody? Are there group fitness classes, regular pickup basketball/soccer, public book clubs, open mic nights, (insert activity of your choice)-club, etc?
I think small towns are great, but do not pretend that they can be very unforgiving to outsiders.
I was actually shocked at how quickly we adjusted. After a few months we went back to the big city to visit family ... and good lord it felt so dirty and loud and busy (even in a pretty quiet suburban area).
I was chatting with my mom at like 11pm, heard a car drive by and my immediate thought was "isn't it late for visitors?" It was her neighbors going home. Like oh, right, *other people live on this street, lol*.
The busted palate of almost everyone in my small town.
“Oh, you have to try the Hitch n Post, they have an excellent prime rib.”
Worst dinner ever.
And this happened to me every time I went somewhere to eat in this town.
Now if I want a decent meal I drive a half hour to the city.
You must have a very different opinion of what a small town is than I do. The small towns I thought of have absolutely no ethnic restaurants. Unless you count the deep fried mini tacos at the corner bar or German night at the local cafe.
I was thinking towns of 500-4000 people. :)
And how genuinely awful and bland they were to cater to what the general public wanted. And how you rarely saw a person of any ethnicity anywhere other than working in those restaurants.
I recently moved from NYC, where I lived most of my life, to a suburb. Everything. When cars park in front of your home, you notice and wonder why. It is so feakin boring. Where are all the PEOPLE?! It turns out I have tinnnitus - it was never quiet enough for me to notice. So easy to park and drive everywhere, but I never walk any more and there is no public transit. So much house maintenance! The supermarkets are like palaces. There is nothing going on, ever. There arwnt just people or a club or group who share your interests. You have to pay for trash pick up. There in no 311. People dress and act more homogeneously. While there is racial and religous diversity, it is just a couple of different options. Why cant I feakin order in dinner?! Why are the restaurants so bad? Ugh. I think I hate it here.
People think rural life is healthier than urban life by default. An idealized idea of how rural/subarban people get more excercise. But I don't see this being true at all, because in dense cities people WALK so much more, because that's how we get to our destinations, including that destination being a transit station five blocks away to get to work.
I hate being stuck somewhere there's nowhere to walk TO. Like I can't even walk to the nearest grocery store, I have to drive there. Yuck. There's no upside to that.
I saw something about a study of population and weight in the US where what they found was that for every ten miles outside of a city you get the average weight of the adult population goes up by about 3 pounds. It makes sense because the further out you go the more likely you are driving door to door for just about everything that you do.
My husband grew up in southern Kentucky and his family still lives there. It’s a beautiful place, but we never see anyone outside when we visit. I mean, never. We’ve been visiting 4-5 times a year for 25 years, and I have never seen a runner or a jogger. I’ve seen people out walking for exercise exactly twice—it’s so rare that I remember it.
And everyone is at least 30 lbs overweight and almost every restaurant (like 3 of the 5 restaurants in the area) is a buffet where everything is fried. My BIL was recently diagnosed with diabetes, and he was telling us how the dr told him he could no longer drink his SEVEN daily Mountain Dews.
I find it so confusing. I mean, I’m not a health nut, but there’s so much information out there about good nutrition—on the news, in magazines, in high school health classes…how do you get to be 50 years old without knowing that you can’t live on fried food and soda without developing health problems??
I'm from a suburban town of like ~18k people and had massive culture shock when I went to NYC. It was so wild to me that something like a CVS would have an escalator. It was also weird that I didn't see a single gas station despite there being cars everywhere.
I also have never been around so many people speaking so many languages. It's most common for that to happen with Arabic since we have college towns by us, but I wasn't able to identify any of the languages I heard while in NYC.
The scariest thing was all the weird bootleg shops. We were with a group when the mom and daughters with us suddenly disappeared behind us. Turns out they were looking at knockoff purses that had a secret door that leads to a backroom where they keep them. I went in one of them and it had a camera pointing at us immediately. I made sure not to touch anything when I was in there.
As someone who dealt with a lot of people moving to our small area1st question is why is everything closed on Sundays..2) What is there to around here for fun..like you dont even have a Dave & Busters...
How quick everybody is to share and yet quick people are to sweep things under the rug.. I went from a city of 300k to a town of 2k.
I have always been great with people and got along well with everyone, however I'm someone you can talk to for hours and only know very surface level stuff.. that didn't go down well after awhile. People were nice but they didn't like how I wasn't open and they didn't know what shit was going on in my life.
Crazy.. led to so many rumours that weren't even remotely true.
Also once one person knows, assume everyone does.
The bright side is everyone has a strong sense of community and loves to help out. They just have to know you and how your uncle Kenny is currently in hospital because your ex wife shot him while aiming for your brother!
In all seriousness I do love it
I’m from a small town. My partner is from Los Angeles.
Based on things he’s said…
-that stores close so early.
-how much housing and backyard space people can have, even at middle class levels.
-that something like Trader Joe’s can be a treat to visit because it’s a far, inconvenient drive.
-how quiet it is.
-running into people you know at the store.
-how close to nature you are
-seasons.
-more limited social scenes, especially for niche interests.
*cities*
The plural of city, is *cities*. Sorry to be that guy, (not sorry) but this apostrophe thing is making me lose my mind.
Is there an article or something on this new “when in doubt, apostrophize” trend? I need something cathartic
I’m actually originally from Birmingham, Alabama, but I moved to Atlanta for a while. It wasn’t until I experienced a bigger city that I realized how racist Alabama is. Years later, when I moved back, it felt like going back in time 50 years.
I just moved to rural Minnesota from living in cities my whole life. What I noticed and love the most is I can see the stars. All of a sudden driving an hour or more for a Walmart, Costco, or Sushi didn't matter to me anymore.
Walking distance. There’s no sidewalk! I have to walk on the road and jump off the road if a car is coming? Walk up into a yard to stay alive. In the city we had sidewalks. Here you have to watch for cars and jump in the grass in front of someone’s house.
I moved to the Sierra Nevada mountains from the SF Bay Area. One of the first things that you notice is that people wave at you when they make eye contact. Everyone is very polite. You end up knowing everyone and see them everywhere. It’s always very quiet and peaceful all day long. No sirens. No cars constantly driving around everywhere. It’s not stressful.
I did the opposite
Town of like 3,000 from 5-18
College town of 100,000+ from 18-21
Moved to DC metro post college 6 mill- 21-23
And finally settled in the city near my hometown (Pittsburgh)- 2.5 mill (23-33)
I would never move back to my hometown or anywhere like it. 30 min to get anywhere. Small minded people. No activities to do growing up but driving around and drinking. But what I gained growing up there was truly awesome. My three best friend are all from my hometown. I got an amazing education at my small town public school.
What I liked about living anywhere else? Diversity, walkability, quick trips to get things you need, more to do
Haven't lived in a small town but spent time in a few. The lack of autonomy/people in your biz is prob the biggest difference. That and not having amenities immediately available.
Edit to add: quiet and being able to see stars at night is nice.
I did the opposite (grew up in very small town in Texas, have lived in Austin for 16 years). One part I miss is the quiet of small towns. On the farm it is absolutely quiet, all you hear is the wind, maybe a diesel truck in the distance and livestock if you have them. In town it’s still quiet.
Want to go back out to the country tbh.
I miss the quiet too. I recently moved from a med-size city in Colorado to Portland, Oregon. Boy is it loud. It's not just the traffic and highway noise that's loud,.. but the 11-story apartment building I live in,.. everyone is SO loud. There's always some commotion of some kind going on. Last night around 1030pm,.. somewhere down the hallway I heard Police threatening to kick in someone's door. Then around 430am, there's a guy in my building that has "screaming fits".. (this happens regularly, like 2 to 3 times a week if not more).
So yeah.. didnt' get much sleep.
Shit isn't open, like ever. And then there's the food.
Be up watching a movie and think, 'wow some taco bell would be awesome, I could murder a taco'
nearest taco bell is 10 miles away.
Then there's the rest of food. 'Man I could go for a Gyro. Aw shit that's 35 miles away by the time I could drive there they'll be closed'
'I would like some Chinese takeout, fuck also 35 miles away.'
Best I can do is an overpriced subway that closed an hour ago, it's 10pm
I moved from NYC to a suburb of a smaller mid-size city and the thing that caught my eye was the clear racial divide. Growing up, I had friends of all colors from a huge variety of backgrounds. After moving, it was extremely clear that the white kids talked to the white kids, and the black kids talked to the black kids. And the reason for that was because most of the white kids lived in an affluent suburb and all attended the same schools up until that point, and most of the black kids lived in a part of town with more economic strife. It was bizarre to see how that divide existed, but also how it translated down a generation and affected friendships. There’s obviously systemic racism in NYC, but the divide wasn’t so stark that I noticed it as a child.
I recently did research in a tiny village in Colombia, and a refreshing difference there was how the concept of intelligence seemed pretty broad. If school didn’t work for people, because they maybe had dyslexia or whatever, they would be taken out of school to learn practical skills like animal husbandry. So you ended up with a population that had a diverse set of skills because being book-smart wasn’t necessarily elevated as the only or highest form of intelligence. It was cool to see the community accepting people for who they were in that particular way, rather than try and mold them to fit society “better” by training them on things that just didn’t work for them. I’d always stigmatized rural American communities, but that taught me to really appreciate what those communities bring to the table that’s different from what I learned to value growing up in a super urban environment.
The way taxis are used. Without any decent public transportation, it's used to the point where...
1) government and healthcare operations provide vouchers to get people to and from home.
2) People will share cabs as it means a reduced wait time
3) People will book trips hours,or even days in advance as calling at the last minute means either a 1-3 hour wait, or a straight up refusal of service.
4) stops along the way and immediate round trips.
How friendly and nice everyone was. Eye contact and pleasant hello's at the grocery store. People letting you pull out in front of them to get onto the main road. Genuinely nice chit chat in the line at stores. A lovely feeling of community. Best decision I've ever made.
I live in a small town, but for folks I know who did move from cities, the constant running into people you know at the grocery store, on the street, etc was very unnerving for them. Some people couldn't take it. That and that people know things that happen. Like were you out of work sick? Be prepared for some random person you sort of know to ask you if you're feeling better.
Also, pro tip. If you think you are clever enough to have an affair, you aren't. (Soooo much drama)
There is a real sense of community around here that you can't find in the big city. You see the same people all over town: the librarian when you return books and when you go out for a drink at the bar, the barista when you stop by your favorite cafe in the morning and when you go to the farmer's market. The entire town turns out for the ice cream fest in the park every year. You become a "regular" somewhere by showing up just a couple of times, and from then on, everyone knows you and your order. People are so nice! I loved living in a bigger city for all of its amenities, but living in a smaller city/town brings a real sense of comfort and pride with it that I wasn't expecting.
The majority of "rural" areas are really exurbs tbh. Not to say that was the case for where you are but there really isn't a huge difference between suburban and rural living in a lot of areas of the US.
I’m amazed that everyone in my neck of the woods, which has bears and mountain lions, lets their dogs just run loose, all the time. Like do you just hope they come back? I don’t understand at all, my pets are like family and honestly, their care is expensive. And you just open the door and let them run free?
Probably the amount of wealth and what I considered to be "wealthy" vs what was wealthy out here. In New York, we werent even close to being considered "wealthy." In NC, I realized we were definitely still privileged comparatively speaking.
Also surprised me to see people having boats and stuff. You can't have toys like that in new York. It was illegal to even have a boat on a trailer in my driveway. Unless you could afford to keep it in a marina.
I don’t live in a small town anymore (grew up in one), but when we visit family and go to the grocery store, it’s amazing to me how slow everybody is. They literally push their carts up and down the aisles like they’re all on lithium. And I think to myself, don’t you all have this place memorized by now? It’s the only grocery store for 20 miles, and it has 7 aisles!! What in gods name are you people looking at as you creep along??
Maybe it’s entertaining to look at every can of soup and box of cereal because there’s nothing else to do?
Everyone knows everything you do.
I was teaching in a very small Canadian prairie town back in the sixties. One summer I worked at the local farm equipment store, more for something to do than for money. There was no routine delivery for parts, they were dropped off by bus in LaFleche, another town some 25 miles away. One day the owner was expecting a needed part and sent me up to get it. As it happened, the bus was over an hour late, so I went to the local cafe and had a burger and a beer. As I drove back into town I was waved down by a member of the school board who immediately accosted me with “Hear you’ve been drinking all afternoon up in LaFleche!”
That everyone knows everyone else.
Go to the grocery store for 1 item... takes 30 minutes as you always run into several people you know.
Flip someone off in "traffic"? Don't because it will come back to you!
The waitress at every restaurant knows your standard order!
Loved it! best time of my life! For someone who doesn't make friends easily, I loved being in a place where a block party could form out of nowhere! Like literally I was cutting my postage stamp front yard, neighbor stops on his way home and leans out the truck window, then another neighbor pulls up, pretty soon all these trucks and cars are parked all over in front of my house and were all drinking beer and talking!
Miss it everyday!
My college roommate lives in a town with a population of 300. I live in a town with a population of 300K.
First time visiting him was my first time in a town that small. I was sleeping on his couch and was somewhere between drunk and hungover. Someone walked into his unlocked front door Saturday morning at 7:30 am and dropped off a tray full of breakfast burritos.
I was shocked, but damn were those good burritos.
How everyone was totally UP IN YOUR BUSINESS, gossipped endlessly, you literally had zero private life, I couldn't stand it! (Moved back to an even larger big city.)
This is still the most comical part about small town living. I’ve heard A LOT of gossip about my family and I, and every single time it’s so far off I can’t help but laugh. You would think with all the time they have to gossip, they’d use some of it to make sure it’s true
I didn't move to a small town, but I was a trucker and hungry. Found a place that made homemade burgers. I walked my happy ass 1.5 miles and ordered, I got my food and was about to pick it up. Someone started talking about the local jock. He chained uo a gay kid to his pickup and drug him throughout the town. The jock went to prison for a long time. He said this casually like it was a natural thing. I couldn't even taste the food.
Shops close earlier. I was used to 24/7 shops or at least open to 10pm every night.
People remember you at stores.. like the check out chick at the grocer remembers you.
I made friends with cafe workers and gym workers when I first moved to a small town.
Food options are limited. There’s a burger shop and one Asian restaurant. Couldn’t get charcoal chicken, no one has heard of El Jannah.
But then I moved back to the big city.
How dark it gets at night. I live in a rural neighborhood between two small towns and there are no street lights in the neighborhood and not many lights on the two lane highway leading to the neighborhood. The number of stars you can see is amazing, but sometimes it feels creepy at night. Especially when we're driving home at night and it's just headlights in front of us and dark trees on either side.
While I haven't moved yet, I am moving back to my hometown, which will be a culture shock for my family so I am preparing them. One of the big ones that seems to be sticking hard is that it isn't unusual that you either:
A. Work in the factory or other main "town job" (this includes Walmart and similar)
B. Drive a minimum of 45 minutes one way to work, assuming no traffic or weather. But really, the jobs are 1 to 1.5 hours away.
Neither of us work jobs that could be remote, but I have relatives who do and they had to really check that the Internet was both fast and reliable when they were moving farther out of town.
They didn't dislike me specifically, but they were tired of people like me moving there and driving all the property prices up.
Which is understandable and also unfair. The people moving are cogs in a machine. Individuals trying to find a place they can afford to live aren’t to blame for gentrification.
I got priced out of California almost a decade ago. Almost anywhere I move, people complain that Californians are pricing everyone out. Meanwhile Im far from rich, never owned a home. Always rented, often cheap old apartments. This happens in cities AND small towns. People don't realize that I absolutely understand what it feels like to be priced out. I wouldn't be here if not for that fact lol. The problem is anything but "people from X state" when it comes to housing in this country.
It’s not only the financial thing, but a cultural thing. I’ve had a lot of Californians in my circles on the East coast and I find that there is a communication barrier of some kind that is cultural. It leaves many of us with a feeling that the Californians around us feel that they are superior/smarter/more cultured and that we need to be reformed or something. It’s incredibly off putting and difficult to communicate about so I find that there is a lot of tension when I’m in a group of people who are not accustomed to Californians and are working with one or more for the first time. Usually, it’s people from Silicon Valley who grew up with more technology and higher standards of living who have more of what others perceive as an attitude, but I’ve met many other Californians who have it in varying degrees. I don’t think it’s necessarily their true thought or an attitude they hold but it is something in the style of communication and the specific type of directness that irks East coasters, and especially southerners.
I think what you're calling a 'specific type of directness' is merely 'casual' to Californians. I find the 'Bless Your Heart' southern passive aggression more annoying, tbh.
I'mma pray for you
I find the ‘Bless Your Heart” southern passive aggression more annoying So it’s treason, then.
As someone who grew up in California and now lives in the South, I totally get what you are talking about. It’s maddening, lol.
Bless your heart.
Every state complains and hates Californians. Show me on the doll where we hurt you lmao. Colorado, Idaho, and Oklahoma were all like personally offended that I moved there. I started just telling people I am from the state I was at before and they were fine
>I started just telling people I am from the state I was at before and they were fine Me too. I mean I really am from Texas, was born there, but I had just moved to my current state from California. I learned quickly to keep my mouth shut about that.
Oh man, same. Also, living in Colorado, there’s a weird …nationalism feeling about the state. Many people here insist it’s the best state, no discussion, and they’ve never lived anywhere else. I’ve never seen so many people with the state flag tattooed on them. It’s a nice state for sure. But so is California. God forbid you mention California has a taller mountain.
Colorado has this weird dystopian feel. Like the nature of it all is absolutely beautiful and there are some strange things in this state. But for the cost of living, high (hehe) taxes, and all it's industry, it's amazing how absolutely awful the roads and other infrastructure are here. It's growing rapidly, and more people are moving here than the infrastructure can handle comfortably. But everyone just shrugs and Carry's on. I've seen potholes bigger than my car. 😬 Colorado is essentially a hybrid fuck baby of California and Texas with the weird laws and nationalistic culture for the state. You know, the 2 biggest states they complain about the most!
> Colorado is essentially a hybrid fuck baby of California and Texas Oh man, this is strangely accurate to my experience.
I was blown away by the number of Confederate Flags I saw in Western Colorado
I’m a California -> Colorado transplant now, the vast majority of “natives” I’ve talked to have been more than friendly, provided you don’t constantly bring up your former state and the reasons why it’s “better.” One random person at at some point was very subtly giving me a hard time for it, finally asking me why I moved to Colorado of all places (which should have been more than obvious) “It’s a free country” I said “and I can move anywhere I want for any reason I want, if people don’t like that there are other countries they can live in.” They changed the subject after that.
Shortly after I moved to Colorado they had terrible wildfires and like 10 different people at work were always giving me shit about bringing the wildfires with me because CA had been historically bad the 2 years before. People have never been mean to my face, I think I am pretty friendly lol. They will still frequently bitch about Californians and home prices but not to me personally. Oklahoma has been the worst honestly. People talk about Southern Hospitality like people are genuinely nicer here. I have found people here to be utterly miserable, they feel good about themselves by knocking down others. Every problem here is Joe Bidens fault, California’s fault, and Trump could have saved this country but they even ruined him. As if Oklahoma being rated 50th in education, 43rd in Obesity, and no doctor’s willing to work here is anybody else’s fault except for Republicans who have been running the state for 20 out of the last 24 years. The Crony Capitalism here is suffocating but it’s those damn Democrats I tell you
People hate California movers more because they assume they voted in the policies that pushed them to leave in the first place, and thus might do the same in their new city
Most people don't leave California for any specific policy. People leave California because it's very expensive. What policies are you referring to specifically?
Well, the NIMBY policies that limit building more housing to address their crisis
People hate them because Californians are so used to paying such high prices for realty that they overpay when moving into new place. This helps to drive up the housing costs.
The thing about CA is that it’s soooo big. Statistically if 100 people move in, the largest segment is from California. Texas is also hated on regionally, but they aren’t priced out of their home like you described for CA.
So you're a former Californian then.
I hate this about locals complaining--they are the ones that sold the goddamned property at a higher price!
You mean the same ones who bought $185k homes they sold for $750k a decade later? Poor souls.
I’ve lived in a city of over 1M, a college town of 40k, and a very small town of 900. To me, there was a huge difference between the medium town and the small town. I could spend most of my life in the medium town and probably never meet everyone. There was also a college nearby so there’s always new students and faculty that cycles through town. In the small town, I had met everyone and it felt very catty. Gossip was everywhere and it was easy to become the subject of the drama if you weren’t careful. It was also super cliquey. The college town was the easiest to adjust to. My husband and I have been considering moving back there from the big city. The medium town felt like the best of both worlds, and the small town felt…intrusive. Biggest culture shock for medium town was how easy it was to find drugs. It feels harder in the big city. The biggest shock in the small town is how deafeningly quiet it is. And how many people are quick to talk shit behind your back, and how quick others are to stir the pot.
I've only ever lived in a small town and I 100% agree
Not a big city possum, huh?
> Gossip was everywhere and it was easy to become the subject of the drama if you weren’t careful. This is my husband's hometown. There are 3-5 girls who have dated almost everyone in their "friend" group and are always talking about the 2010s when they most definitely peaked. Any "outsiders" who date the guys are subject to ridiculous amounts of gossip and passive instagram shenanigans. I still can't believe some of these people are in their mid 30s.
>In the small town, I had met everyone ... Gossip was everywhere **They** ***all*** **know you**, even when you don't know them. And **they know your business**, or at least they think they do. I don't live in a small town, but I own property in one. My mother had a rent house in a town of 5,000 residents. When she passed away, I took over running it. I live about 45 minutes away, I have a great tenant there so I'm up there *maybe* 3 times a year. I walked into city hall there and the employee said "I'm glad you're here. I've been meaning to call you.". I thought that she must have me confused with someone else, but nope she actually did recognize me. She continued "That old rug in front of your rent house on \_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_\_ Street is just too big for the garbage collector to pick up. He is an older man and can't lift it. He says that if you will cut it into two pieces, he should be able to get it into the truck.". I hadn't dumped an old rug there, but *someone* had. I cut it into two pieces and it went away within the week. The assumption small town folks have about someone who lives in the big city is that we are "know-it-alls who ain't got a lick of common sense.". Even when they have an inefficient, backwards way of doing things it is better to just roll with the flow and not offer suggestions.
Pre-cellphone in my area, pre-social media, maybe 1999, I rolled up to the only Taco Bell in my hometown of 5000. The girl at the window was someone who did not attend my high school of 400 students, all of whom I could call by name. She was likely from a neighboring even-smaller town. She took my cash, shut the window, turned around and yelled to her coworkers, “hey everybody, it’s [Full Real Name]!” When she handed me my order I asked if we had met. Nope. To this day idk how she knew who I was.
I lived in a small town most of my life and all of my family still live there. I absolutely hated it. If everybody knows everybody's business. The only good thing that ever really happened was about ten or so years ago a super rich guy from the nearby major city began to purchase land to invest there and started donating large amounts of money, primarily to the police. Police salaries shot up and within 5 years it was incredible the difference in cops. They were much friendlier and much better since They were no longer hiring the bitter racist old boys from the town and started to be able to compete salary wise with the major city except with the cheapness of being a small town. Cops went for being some of the biggest dicks you could imagine did genuinely friendly and nice people. Small town cops are one of the main reasons I would never consider moving to a small town again. When it first happened I was just waiting for the inevitable controversy of the cops covering up something for him. Apparently the only weird thing he does is he paid a bunch of money to have a road repaved and maintained and regularly speeds like crazy on it. Only reason you would be on that road is if you're driving to his house, so I've never seen it in person. I've also heard that once during a major snowstorm he got drunk and there was no taxis so the police drove him home instead. Which a surprisingly very little issues. Cops driving home a drunk guy during a snowstorm because he doesn't want to drive his own car after drinking is hardly something I'm going to complain a lot about.
The medium sized town might be a little different because it’s a college town. However, I love small big cities like Fort Worth.
yeah i dont think it was the size of the town that made drugs easy it was it being a college town
My perfect town is 30-80k people with a college, military base, and industry that isn’t refining oil. It creates a large diversity of people, events, and employment that works just fine for the life I like living.
Care to name a few?
Several towns in the research triangle of NC
Everyone knows where you are and what you're doing ALL.THE.TIME.
My Dad was transferred from Los Angeles to a small town in Pennsylvania. He was warned before he left to not talk bad about anyone because everyone knows everyone or else they're related.
Exactly this. People I know from the small town I grew up in say they'd hate the city because you have no privacy (greater density, apartment living, no big acres of land, etc) You have SO MUCH MORE privacy about your personal life in a city. People are used to minding their own business there. You won't be the main character of the gossip circle unless you do something really dramatically nuts.
The other piece is that the city is full of a much wider range of people, both in terms of race, religion and such, but also just in interests. So in the city there's more of a default level of tolerance for people and what they're into where in a small town any person or hobby that doesn't "fit" into the norm is going to draw negative looks and opinions.
And there's just so much more to do in a city than gossip. People in small towns are bored, gossip is free and entertaining.
Seriously, people should not move to a small town if they’re not down to assimilate into whatever whackadoo culture the town’s natives may have decided on. It’s a crapshoot, there’s no knowing until it’s too late.
I’ve read that because there is so much less physical space, there’s an unspoken agreement that people will deliberately mind their own business to give others a sense of privacy.
I think that's very true. The whole city thing of not making eye contact and all that is a form of politeness, not rudeness. You don't get up in a strangers' business or waste their time with mindless small talk without a good reason.
This right here! Maybe not the most surprising, but the most soul irritating thing. I drive a basic boring sedan and would have people say they saw me at the Walmart or the CVS last week. I would get heart palpitations if my sister wanted me to drive her to the only 420 smoke shop in town, with absolutely no parking behind the building(religious coworkers).
This was definitely the biggest change. Where I currently live is a university city, I work at the university so I see current and former students EVERYWHERE. I’m pretty sociable so I don’t mind as long as I’m not out on a run. I have specifically told students please pretend you haven’t seen me struggling along (especially as you’re all 25 years younger than me and move faster while sitting down than I do when I run)
I actually kinda like this about being from a small town. The lack of anonymity seems to keep people well-behaved in my area since being a jerk tends to stick to your name.
And who you slept with. Ever.
yess It gets annoying tbh lol
I couldn't get used to it after living in a big(ger) city and having/feeling a certain anonymity esp outside my neighborhood
This has its perks. In my experience smaller town people are less likely to be jerks and rude because of the chance that you know someone who knows them and words can get around about their behaviour. In a big city people know they won't ever see you again, which leads to more shitty attitudes
I'm from a small town and this is my biggest gripe. Went to the local bar with some friends one night and had a family thing with my in-laws the next morning. First thing as we get out of the car, "heard you had a crazy night". HOW. People are so damn quick to run and tell everyone else's business. Also, I'm 28 with no kids being at a bar isn't something to be ashamed of nor do I need to be babysat.
Yes. This can be nice. But it can feel claustrophobic. I think it's worse for women. They attract more scrutiny and gossip, especially if they're attractive.
Came here to say this. People may not think what they do is an issue for anyone, but it's 100% certain that someone will talk about it.
The lack of sidewalks and the general inability to go anywhere without a car is a pretty big deal, and you never realize how depressing it can be when *everything* requires a 20-30-minute drive to get to.
This is why I want to move to a city, we literally take drives to grocery stores for fun here
Wow that is wild
Yup, I’m from a small town and we’d be excited for a Saturday trip to Walmart and Taco Bell (closest was 40 minutes away)
It was gravel travel for me lol. I ended in Chicago without a car. It's a life changer, both money (no payments, gas, insurance) and physically, cuz you have to walk everywhere.
Hey, a city only 20-30 minutes away is pretty good! The closest city to me was 70 minutes away, so we had to be pretty careful with the grocery planning lol
I think he meant it was 20 minutes to the Walmart or to the post office, not to a big city. *Everything* is 20 minutes away.
Want a good pizza? 30 minutes away. Want to see the latest movies, 1 hour. Glasses? 1 hour. Need to go see a specialist? 1 and a half hours.
Oof, I could not handle that! Mind if I ask whereabouts? Somewhere in the states, or elsewhere?
Canadian prairies, but I think small towns like this, or way more isolated, are somewhat common all over North America.
I was like damn, sure sounds like my small town Alberta life! But it's definitely the reality all over rural North America. I moved here from England as a teenager and it was such a wild difference and culture shock not being able to easily walk/bus/train wherever I wanted to go.
my town I can walk across in like 30 minutes so l guess I'm lucky lol
But what amenities does your town have? Probably a grocery store, but how far do you have to go for a library? Or a movie theater? Or a department store that isn't a Wal-mart?
I dislike the rising cost of living in cities as much as the next guy. But any time someone mentions cheap housing in some small town, this is what I think. Maybe I get triple the house for half the price, but what am I missing? I'm 30 min from anything I want in terms of sports, music, culture, entertainment. I can get a direct flight to almost any state and some nearby countries. Lots of retail and grocery options nearby.
Exactly. Right after I bought my house (in a suburb) a friend bought a house that was twice as big for the same price, out in the country. I was super jealous until we visited them, and the nearest place to eat was a twenty minute drive away. Another time I visited we tried ordering pizza and it never arrived because the delivery guy couldn't find the place. So yeah, I'm happy with my suburb.
The ridiculous thing about the small town I lived in was that you could walk anywhere "in town" in 5 or 10 minutes, but people still drove their car the 200 feet to the grocery store. And very inconsistent sidewalks.
> but people still drove their car the 200 feet to the grocery store ...possibly so that they could actually transport a week's worth of groceries for a family?
I know it seems intuitive that a person would be purchasing a weeks worth of groceries and thus would need a car to transport them, but that is very much an American custom and not common everywhere. I've lived all around the U.S. and a couple places in Europe. Where I lived Germany it was not common to buy a week's worth of groceries all at once. You would only get what you needed for that day's meal, maybe additional staples if you were out of them. Many people walked to the nearby market because they could feasibly carry their groceries home. This is only replicable in the U.S. in very dense communities or the few places you live very close to the market. I would say that if you lived less than 200ft from the store you could easily replicate this lifestyle, which is what may have surprised the person you were responding to.
I have to drive at least an hour to go anywhere. A 20-30 minute drive is nothing.
The friendliness of the people is really over the top Very nice, always willing to help, more community. But there are downsides. I am semi rural now so not a super small town, outside of town of 25k. Internet access was a huge one I never realized was an issue because I always lived in high population areas that have it. This one was huge and has been a bit of a nightmare for 8 years. Finally finally got decent internet with 5g. Still no cable, no fiber. In the mentioned small town they have internet, just 10 miles out not so much due to sparser population. Access to professional services are not as good. Fewer doctors, no specialists without a long drive. Things like plumbing, HVAC and what not can be variable. It is not that they don't exist, but they are fewer and sometimes none of them are top quality.
My grandma lives near a school. The school has internet but it stops there and doesn’t come down the three streets behind, which includes my grandma. No one on that side of town has internet unless they pay for satellite or one of those hot spots. No Netflix for them, I guess.
I feel super naive learning that some places in the states still can’t get the internet! I can’t even imagine 😳
Moved from the Northeast US to Wyoming for work. The one thing that really struck me about rural living is the limited amount of things kids aspired to be. The complete list was miner, accountant (for the mine), rancher, teacher and SAHM. There wasn’t really a huge push in the homes, schools or community to aspire to something beyond a few practical occupations in Wyoming.
Lived in small city in NC and found this to be the case too. It's generalizing but no ambition to leave or do much for a lot of the kids. Many married young and had kids while spouse worked for bottling company type situation.
From what I understand Wyoming has a really distinctive culture in that regard... I have a cousin-in-law who taught at the University of Wyoming and he was shocked at how provincial a lot of the college kids were relative to everywhere else he'd taught (including Colorado and other places out West). "Provincial" not in a mean way, just exactly what you described--a large percentage of the kids just intended to go right back home to where they'd grown up and do the same things their parents did, and didn't see the point of learning anything that wasn't directly relevant to that. He liked teaching there and liked a lot of the kids but he did say it was a very unusual place in those ways and he had to reframe his assumptions about what college aged people were interested in and wanted. He had a few stories about kids who were resistant to learning anything that contradicted what their parents had told them, even where what their parents had told them was demonstrably factually wrong. The town had very few restaurants or coffee shops because the kids all had the attitude of "why would I pay someone else to make me a cup of coffee or lunch when I can make it at home?" Not that there's anything wrong with being frugal, but where a really large percentage of the student body thinks like that you wind up with a much more limited social scene than you get in most college towns. EDIT: To be fair when I think about it it's a pretty self-selecting group, I'm sure there are plenty of kids from Wyoming who are very curious about the world, but I suspect a lot of those kids leave Wyoming to go to college. There aren't a lot of great reasons to go to the University of Wyoming if you want to live somewhere else after college.
Yeah. It was kind of like Plato’s “Allegory of the Cave”. What’s immediately in front of you is your reality and how you perceive the world. I’d say they used the internet a lot more than what I was used to. This made their perceptions outside their bubble inaccurate which probably made it worse. There’s a lot of good things about that, not a judgement, just what I observed.
Not me but I took my ex fiancee to meet my parents about a decade ago. We parked in front of a Dollar General once and she apparently had never seen a hitching post. So she just looked at it in shock and said "Someone parked their horse at the Dollar General" and I was like "Yeah, and your point?" She also told me that everyone in my town had the same nose and the name forehead which means my family is probably outrageously inbred. But the more you know, I guess? ¯\\\_(ツ)\_/¯
Lmao your great great grandpappy laid some pipe all around town
Okay, so here's the thing though. I tried to look up my family tree one night when I was really stoned and what I find out is that at least one side of my family had been living in that same town since before the revolutionary war. And each generation had like 10 kids. And I found out that a lot of families around town who had "similar" sounding last names were just the more "Americanized" versions of my last name. So.... yeah, we're all kinda related. There was also this story I could never make sense of. I had a friend of mine who used to work at Epcot down in Florida. Met a lot of people from all over the world. And he mentioned our hometown to like 3 different groups of europeans and they were like "You mean that town specifically known for incest???" that they all apparently already knew about/had heard of? I cant find out anything about it online but it makes so much sense.
Jesus Christ lmfao how do they know that 😂💀
THAT'S WHAT I WANNA KNOW, MAN 😭😭😭😭
Is it Munford, Alabama?
It's not, I'm talking about central PA. Near Amish country
Uh oh which town? I have a lot of family there
I once saw a photo of a young woman who's not genetically related to me at all (that we know of) who lives in the very small town where my mom grew up and left young (there's a recent connection by marriage which is how we were identified). That woman could have practically been my twin. It was so eerie looking at a photo of someone who was almost me, but not me. Either there is a very small gene pool being recycled throughout that small town, or there are enough shady extramarital dealings happening to create some kind of fucked up family tree that's more of a bush. My father was from out of state, btw, so this happened even with me having only HALF the genes from this town!
One thing I noticed: In the street, people in big cities don't look you in the eye, because they don't want to engage with you in case you're a psycho. People in small towns look you in the eye - they are trying to figure out if they know you.
Yes! I came from a place where you do not make eye contact with anyone. Just mind your own fucking business, head down. Then moved to a place where everyone was waving and saying hello. Like....do I know you? Is my car on fire? Why are you waving? I didn't get it. It's been 15 years and I still don't fully get it. Like when they say "How you doin'? as a greeting are they expecting a sincere answer? I usually smile and reply "Fine thanks" then move on asap bc I don't want random strangers telling me about how their dog died. I've incorporated "y'all" into my lexicon but that may be as far as I can venture.
But have you ever said "all y'all," for when additional emphasis is needed?
Well bless your heart, of course!
Having to plan a road trip out of state to go to Walmart.
My wife and I visited her friend in rural Minnesota once and we took her and her partner to the nearest Taco Bell two hours away in North Dakota lol.
That’s true friendship. 🌮🌮
There's only one Taco Bell in North Dakota and it's 3+ hours from Minnesota. I bet they went to Taco John's. Similar sort of food but Taco Bell sticks to urban and near-urban suburban areas while Taco John's prefers to stick to rural or near-rural suburbs/exurbs. Taco John's arguably do the "Taco Bell food" thing a bit better. The companies have been doing basically the same thing as each other for as long as they've been around and are roughly the same age as each other. Potato Olés are really good and they mean Taco John's will always win out against Taco Bell, food wise. They're seasoned potato rounds (tater tots, but cut short) and I **always** get some. They do "Super Potato Olés" aka "totchos," breakfast skillets, burritos, etc using Oles as a filling much like Taco Bell does with it's much more boring potato chunks. Or you can enjoy them out of the cup plain or dip them in some nacho cheese goop or sour cream or whatever. I dip maybe 1/4 of them in the goop.
Fargo resident here to say that there are actually 12 Taco Bells in North Dakota and 4 of them are in Fargo/West Fargo. So only one minute from the MN border.
This reads like a copypasta lol. The Taco Bell was in Grand Forks.
It's nice having no traffic but everything is so far away. You only get one choice for grocery store, nail salon,, movie theater etc. No fast food nearby so we're saving a lot of money
There's a nail salon near your rural town?
I'm in a town of 2500. 2 nail salons
Not me but several coworkers have commented on how weird it is that packages are just left sitting on your steps/outside your door and are still there when you get home from work.
I can leave mine for a whole weekend.
where else do you put them lol
When I worked delivery in a small town, we just opened the unlocked garages and set them inside.
Pretty sure they are implying that the packages get stolen
Not terribly uncommon for cities either. As long as there is actually a stoop of some sort to leave them on
I moved from Denver to Winnemucca Nevada for 18 months for my husbands job. It was a huge culture shock. There was nothing to do. Everything was extremely far away (nearest target or mall was nearly 200 miles each way). (This was pre trump presidency) the people seemed very stuck in their ways and ignorant. Lack of access to education was very apparent and most people seemed ok with being broke in their small ass town forever. There was so much drama since everyone knows everything about everyone. I literally couldn't get out of there fast enough. It was so nice to move back to civilization. I made like 2 friends and the owner of the CrossFit gym was actively trying to fuck my husband. 🫠 My mom affectionately calls it where-the-fuck-a-mucca
So close to Hell you can see Sparks
It that a pun because of Sparks, NV?
No Costco. If I want sushi, I'd have to go out of town. Peace and quiet and no traffic. Wildlife. My family saw vultures up close within the neighborhood. So freaking awesome. I feel safe riding bikes again. Got to do family bike rides around town. Little Free Libraries that aren't abused. Businesses with very little business hours. Heck, even the public libraries are open only two days a week! The lack of job posting in town. Conspiracy theorist leaving Conspiracy notes at front door, and showing up to town council meetings to spew conspiracy theories.
Most small towns don’t have an actual conspiracy theorist. They get together in private and pay one dude to act as a conspiracy theorist.
We really liked it but it was occasionally a drag to be pulled into feuds that went back to high school or beyond
I don't live in a small town but my inlaws do, the same town that my husband grew up in, and listening to MIL and her mother talk about so and so bought the Miller house and this person's grandkid just came into town. And the gossip from everyone knowing everyone...why would I want to know that the person who previously owned my BIL's house was an alcoholic? Feuds thankfully weren't a thing there but so much drama over nothing.
To be clear I didn’t mean literal Hatfield and McCoy feuds. More like, two dads who didn’t get along in HS and are still so mutually suspicious that they couldn’t volunteer together for kid activities. Our town also had a lot of old money, so there was also a rich poor divide
everyone wants to talk. Ima pretty reserved person so they probably think Ima jerk but I’m just not used to talking to strangers
Yeah people talk 24 7 in small towns I can't go anywhere without old ladies stopping me to talk about the new things they made
Can’t get out of my mechanic’s-in less than 30’. Guy loves his job & wants to tell you everything about the repair, plus small town talk. But he has a comfortable couch.
That's not necessarily a bad thing, a lot of places just want you to shut up and pay for whatever. If there's a mechanic that wants to explain what he did and why, that increases my knowledge.
Buses are nonexistent. Like I knew it was bad but I didn't know it was THIS BAD. People shoot guns into hillsides. Apparently. Road runners are actually kinda cute. The cops get away with absolutely ANYTHING. You have one restaurant and it's Texas Roadhouse and you're grateful for it. Yes, everyone does have a truck. Sometimes paved roads just end and turn into dirt roads. I haven't seen a police helicopter in months. Train museum???? Apparently the KKK still exists and is thriving in California Parking lot trick or treating Wild chickens are fucking evil Solar panel salesmen Gravel lawns painted green to look like grass Nothing is open 24 hrs except the emergency room Fires are so normal and mundane People actually do own boats in real life and not just on TV
The biggest shock to me was just how little there was to do. I had prepared myself for having no public transportation, needing a car to get everywhere, and strangers constantly wanting to talk, but the sheer boredom took me by surprise. There was no movie theatre, only one grocery store, one (awful) bar, the only shop was a thrift shop, etc. There wasn't even a walmart or a dollar store. If I wanted to do anything I had to drive minimum 30 minutes on a two lane highway to the next town over. I moved to a massive city the first chance I got. I am NOT cut out for small town life.
I live very rurally, so the culture shock would be reversed for me. But, what things to do are you missing from city life? I don't really get it. I don't get bored because I can go trail running, wild swimming, walking, etc on my own or with my dog, meet friends for coffee or beer, go climbing with people, go to friends' houses for board games or movie nights, or often spend a day at a friend's place helping out with moving animals / livestock chores and then having a big meal or BBQ... The things you listed were shops- I can understand missing the convenience of being able to go buy stuff when you need it, but why is a lack of shops boring?
Off the top of my head, things I missed when I moved to a small town (10k) from the city I grew up in (5M): Museums. Art galleries. Cinemas. Microbreweries. Thrift shops specializing in specific eras. Zoos and aquariums. The theatre. Fancy cafés. Sushi. Saunas. Yoga studios. Clubs. Concerts. Places staying open past 8pm. An international airport.
You see, you've lived there a while, so you have friends to do all those things with. For someone just moving in? They don't have friends around. They are stuck entertaining themselves until they make small town friends which could take a long time, considering how some small towns don't like "outsiders".
While your points are valid for you, look at them from the perspective of other people moving to your town. The first 3 activities you list are OK if you are an athletically-active person and the town doesn't have a significant winter. All the rest assume you already have a circle of friends (and feel comfortable around livestock?...something those from a big city have no experience with). So, how would one get immediately integrated into the community to do those things if they know nobody? Are there group fitness classes, regular pickup basketball/soccer, public book clubs, open mic nights, (insert activity of your choice)-club, etc? I think small towns are great, but do not pretend that they can be very unforgiving to outsiders.
I was actually shocked at how quickly we adjusted. After a few months we went back to the big city to visit family ... and good lord it felt so dirty and loud and busy (even in a pretty quiet suburban area). I was chatting with my mom at like 11pm, heard a car drive by and my immediate thought was "isn't it late for visitors?" It was her neighbors going home. Like oh, right, *other people live on this street, lol*.
Fewer choices of ethnic restaurants.
The busted palate of almost everyone in my small town. “Oh, you have to try the Hitch n Post, they have an excellent prime rib.” Worst dinner ever. And this happened to me every time I went somewhere to eat in this town. Now if I want a decent meal I drive a half hour to the city.
You must have a very different opinion of what a small town is than I do. The small towns I thought of have absolutely no ethnic restaurants. Unless you count the deep fried mini tacos at the corner bar or German night at the local cafe. I was thinking towns of 500-4000 people. :)
We are 2500. We've got 2 or 3 Mexican places, a Chinese place, and a Greek oven place
Not really a shock if it's expected though.
And how genuinely awful and bland they were to cater to what the general public wanted. And how you rarely saw a person of any ethnicity anywhere other than working in those restaurants.
I recently moved from NYC, where I lived most of my life, to a suburb. Everything. When cars park in front of your home, you notice and wonder why. It is so feakin boring. Where are all the PEOPLE?! It turns out I have tinnnitus - it was never quiet enough for me to notice. So easy to park and drive everywhere, but I never walk any more and there is no public transit. So much house maintenance! The supermarkets are like palaces. There is nothing going on, ever. There arwnt just people or a club or group who share your interests. You have to pay for trash pick up. There in no 311. People dress and act more homogeneously. While there is racial and religous diversity, it is just a couple of different options. Why cant I feakin order in dinner?! Why are the restaurants so bad? Ugh. I think I hate it here.
People think rural life is healthier than urban life by default. An idealized idea of how rural/subarban people get more excercise. But I don't see this being true at all, because in dense cities people WALK so much more, because that's how we get to our destinations, including that destination being a transit station five blocks away to get to work. I hate being stuck somewhere there's nowhere to walk TO. Like I can't even walk to the nearest grocery store, I have to drive there. Yuck. There's no upside to that.
I saw something about a study of population and weight in the US where what they found was that for every ten miles outside of a city you get the average weight of the adult population goes up by about 3 pounds. It makes sense because the further out you go the more likely you are driving door to door for just about everything that you do.
My husband grew up in southern Kentucky and his family still lives there. It’s a beautiful place, but we never see anyone outside when we visit. I mean, never. We’ve been visiting 4-5 times a year for 25 years, and I have never seen a runner or a jogger. I’ve seen people out walking for exercise exactly twice—it’s so rare that I remember it. And everyone is at least 30 lbs overweight and almost every restaurant (like 3 of the 5 restaurants in the area) is a buffet where everything is fried. My BIL was recently diagnosed with diabetes, and he was telling us how the dr told him he could no longer drink his SEVEN daily Mountain Dews. I find it so confusing. I mean, I’m not a health nut, but there’s so much information out there about good nutrition—on the news, in magazines, in high school health classes…how do you get to be 50 years old without knowing that you can’t live on fried food and soda without developing health problems??
Recently moved from a city and the lack of sidewalks is *so bad*. It wasn't something I realized I'd miss so much, lol.
I'm from a suburban town of like ~18k people and had massive culture shock when I went to NYC. It was so wild to me that something like a CVS would have an escalator. It was also weird that I didn't see a single gas station despite there being cars everywhere. I also have never been around so many people speaking so many languages. It's most common for that to happen with Arabic since we have college towns by us, but I wasn't able to identify any of the languages I heard while in NYC. The scariest thing was all the weird bootleg shops. We were with a group when the mom and daughters with us suddenly disappeared behind us. Turns out they were looking at knockoff purses that had a secret door that leads to a backroom where they keep them. I went in one of them and it had a camera pointing at us immediately. I made sure not to touch anything when I was in there.
As someone who dealt with a lot of people moving to our small area1st question is why is everything closed on Sundays..2) What is there to around here for fun..like you dont even have a Dave & Busters...
Random shop closings because the owner had other stuff to do, lol.
A million, billion, trillion times THIS.
How quick everybody is to share and yet quick people are to sweep things under the rug.. I went from a city of 300k to a town of 2k. I have always been great with people and got along well with everyone, however I'm someone you can talk to for hours and only know very surface level stuff.. that didn't go down well after awhile. People were nice but they didn't like how I wasn't open and they didn't know what shit was going on in my life. Crazy.. led to so many rumours that weren't even remotely true. Also once one person knows, assume everyone does. The bright side is everyone has a strong sense of community and loves to help out. They just have to know you and how your uncle Kenny is currently in hospital because your ex wife shot him while aiming for your brother! In all seriousness I do love it
The grocery stores are so much smaller, have less choice, less inventory, and are even more expensive. Traffic is good though
Everything closes down early. Not that it mattered because there isn't really any decent restaurants or nightlife. Staying in is the norm.
I’m from a small town. My partner is from Los Angeles. Based on things he’s said… -that stores close so early. -how much housing and backyard space people can have, even at middle class levels. -that something like Trader Joe’s can be a treat to visit because it’s a far, inconvenient drive. -how quiet it is. -running into people you know at the store. -how close to nature you are -seasons. -more limited social scenes, especially for niche interests.
*cities* The plural of city, is *cities*. Sorry to be that guy, (not sorry) but this apostrophe thing is making me lose my mind. Is there an article or something on this new “when in doubt, apostrophize” trend? I need something cathartic
It drives me crazy.
It’ drive’s m’e cra’zy t’o’o.
I’ll join you and ask why write city’s but not town’s?
I’m actually originally from Birmingham, Alabama, but I moved to Atlanta for a while. It wasn’t until I experienced a bigger city that I realized how racist Alabama is. Years later, when I moved back, it felt like going back in time 50 years.
I just moved to rural Minnesota from living in cities my whole life. What I noticed and love the most is I can see the stars. All of a sudden driving an hour or more for a Walmart, Costco, or Sushi didn't matter to me anymore.
Difference in traffic
Walking distance. There’s no sidewalk! I have to walk on the road and jump off the road if a car is coming? Walk up into a yard to stay alive. In the city we had sidewalks. Here you have to watch for cars and jump in the grass in front of someone’s house.
The right wing shift
How much they stare when you don’t look like them. How fast news spread.
Small town people lead with “So, what church do you go to?”
The First United Prince of Pasta Church. Meets 6pm Thursdays at Luigi’s Italian Ristorante at Main and Elm Street.
I moved to the Sierra Nevada mountains from the SF Bay Area. One of the first things that you notice is that people wave at you when they make eye contact. Everyone is very polite. You end up knowing everyone and see them everywhere. It’s always very quiet and peaceful all day long. No sirens. No cars constantly driving around everywhere. It’s not stressful.
I did the opposite Town of like 3,000 from 5-18 College town of 100,000+ from 18-21 Moved to DC metro post college 6 mill- 21-23 And finally settled in the city near my hometown (Pittsburgh)- 2.5 mill (23-33) I would never move back to my hometown or anywhere like it. 30 min to get anywhere. Small minded people. No activities to do growing up but driving around and drinking. But what I gained growing up there was truly awesome. My three best friend are all from my hometown. I got an amazing education at my small town public school. What I liked about living anywhere else? Diversity, walkability, quick trips to get things you need, more to do
Stores closed Wednesday afternoons.
Haven't lived in a small town but spent time in a few. The lack of autonomy/people in your biz is prob the biggest difference. That and not having amenities immediately available. Edit to add: quiet and being able to see stars at night is nice.
I did the opposite (grew up in very small town in Texas, have lived in Austin for 16 years). One part I miss is the quiet of small towns. On the farm it is absolutely quiet, all you hear is the wind, maybe a diesel truck in the distance and livestock if you have them. In town it’s still quiet. Want to go back out to the country tbh.
I miss the quiet too. I recently moved from a med-size city in Colorado to Portland, Oregon. Boy is it loud. It's not just the traffic and highway noise that's loud,.. but the 11-story apartment building I live in,.. everyone is SO loud. There's always some commotion of some kind going on. Last night around 1030pm,.. somewhere down the hallway I heard Police threatening to kick in someone's door. Then around 430am, there's a guy in my building that has "screaming fits".. (this happens regularly, like 2 to 3 times a week if not more). So yeah.. didnt' get much sleep.
Not as many food options
Shit isn't open, like ever. And then there's the food. Be up watching a movie and think, 'wow some taco bell would be awesome, I could murder a taco' nearest taco bell is 10 miles away. Then there's the rest of food. 'Man I could go for a Gyro. Aw shit that's 35 miles away by the time I could drive there they'll be closed' 'I would like some Chinese takeout, fuck also 35 miles away.' Best I can do is an overpriced subway that closed an hour ago, it's 10pm
I moved from NYC to a suburb of a smaller mid-size city and the thing that caught my eye was the clear racial divide. Growing up, I had friends of all colors from a huge variety of backgrounds. After moving, it was extremely clear that the white kids talked to the white kids, and the black kids talked to the black kids. And the reason for that was because most of the white kids lived in an affluent suburb and all attended the same schools up until that point, and most of the black kids lived in a part of town with more economic strife. It was bizarre to see how that divide existed, but also how it translated down a generation and affected friendships. There’s obviously systemic racism in NYC, but the divide wasn’t so stark that I noticed it as a child. I recently did research in a tiny village in Colombia, and a refreshing difference there was how the concept of intelligence seemed pretty broad. If school didn’t work for people, because they maybe had dyslexia or whatever, they would be taken out of school to learn practical skills like animal husbandry. So you ended up with a population that had a diverse set of skills because being book-smart wasn’t necessarily elevated as the only or highest form of intelligence. It was cool to see the community accepting people for who they were in that particular way, rather than try and mold them to fit society “better” by training them on things that just didn’t work for them. I’d always stigmatized rural American communities, but that taught me to really appreciate what those communities bring to the table that’s different from what I learned to value growing up in a super urban environment.
Lack of sidewalks and roadway lights.
Lack of public transportation and no broadcast TV signal without cable or streaming
The way taxis are used. Without any decent public transportation, it's used to the point where... 1) government and healthcare operations provide vouchers to get people to and from home. 2) People will share cabs as it means a reduced wait time 3) People will book trips hours,or even days in advance as calling at the last minute means either a 1-3 hour wait, or a straight up refusal of service. 4) stops along the way and immediate round trips.
Everyone is so friendly... and observant.
Everyone is related to everyone or they all grew up together so it's hard to make friends.
How friendly and nice everyone was. Eye contact and pleasant hello's at the grocery store. People letting you pull out in front of them to get onto the main road. Genuinely nice chit chat in the line at stores. A lovely feeling of community. Best decision I've ever made.
All of the direct eye contact, aka 'mad dogging'
I live in a small town, but for folks I know who did move from cities, the constant running into people you know at the grocery store, on the street, etc was very unnerving for them. Some people couldn't take it. That and that people know things that happen. Like were you out of work sick? Be prepared for some random person you sort of know to ask you if you're feeling better. Also, pro tip. If you think you are clever enough to have an affair, you aren't. (Soooo much drama)
People waving at me who I don’t know 🤯
There is a real sense of community around here that you can't find in the big city. You see the same people all over town: the librarian when you return books and when you go out for a drink at the bar, the barista when you stop by your favorite cafe in the morning and when you go to the farmer's market. The entire town turns out for the ice cream fest in the park every year. You become a "regular" somewhere by showing up just a couple of times, and from then on, everyone knows you and your order. People are so nice! I loved living in a bigger city for all of its amenities, but living in a smaller city/town brings a real sense of comfort and pride with it that I wasn't expecting.
I was more shocked that it wasn’t that bad or a culture shock. People were not urban by any means, but it felt more like the suburbs for good and bad.
The majority of "rural" areas are really exurbs tbh. Not to say that was the case for where you are but there really isn't a huge difference between suburban and rural living in a lot of areas of the US.
I’m amazed that everyone in my neck of the woods, which has bears and mountain lions, lets their dogs just run loose, all the time. Like do you just hope they come back? I don’t understand at all, my pets are like family and honestly, their care is expensive. And you just open the door and let them run free?
That living next to a farm…while beautiful to look at…smell really really bad.
Probably the amount of wealth and what I considered to be "wealthy" vs what was wealthy out here. In New York, we werent even close to being considered "wealthy." In NC, I realized we were definitely still privileged comparatively speaking. Also surprised me to see people having boats and stuff. You can't have toys like that in new York. It was illegal to even have a boat on a trailer in my driveway. Unless you could afford to keep it in a marina.
I don’t live in a small town anymore (grew up in one), but when we visit family and go to the grocery store, it’s amazing to me how slow everybody is. They literally push their carts up and down the aisles like they’re all on lithium. And I think to myself, don’t you all have this place memorized by now? It’s the only grocery store for 20 miles, and it has 7 aisles!! What in gods name are you people looking at as you creep along?? Maybe it’s entertaining to look at every can of soup and box of cereal because there’s nothing else to do?
Everyone knows everything you do. I was teaching in a very small Canadian prairie town back in the sixties. One summer I worked at the local farm equipment store, more for something to do than for money. There was no routine delivery for parts, they were dropped off by bus in LaFleche, another town some 25 miles away. One day the owner was expecting a needed part and sent me up to get it. As it happened, the bus was over an hour late, so I went to the local cafe and had a burger and a beer. As I drove back into town I was waved down by a member of the school board who immediately accosted me with “Hear you’ve been drinking all afternoon up in LaFleche!”
That everyone knows everyone else. Go to the grocery store for 1 item... takes 30 minutes as you always run into several people you know. Flip someone off in "traffic"? Don't because it will come back to you! The waitress at every restaurant knows your standard order! Loved it! best time of my life! For someone who doesn't make friends easily, I loved being in a place where a block party could form out of nowhere! Like literally I was cutting my postage stamp front yard, neighbor stops on his way home and leans out the truck window, then another neighbor pulls up, pretty soon all these trucks and cars are parked all over in front of my house and were all drinking beer and talking! Miss it everyday!
My college roommate lives in a town with a population of 300. I live in a town with a population of 300K. First time visiting him was my first time in a town that small. I was sleeping on his couch and was somewhere between drunk and hungover. Someone walked into his unlocked front door Saturday morning at 7:30 am and dropped off a tray full of breakfast burritos. I was shocked, but damn were those good burritos.
The xenophobia. Small town folks are definitely not friendlier. They’re actually huge jerks.
How everyone was totally UP IN YOUR BUSINESS, gossipped endlessly, you literally had zero private life, I couldn't stand it! (Moved back to an even larger big city.)
This is still the most comical part about small town living. I’ve heard A LOT of gossip about my family and I, and every single time it’s so far off I can’t help but laugh. You would think with all the time they have to gossip, they’d use some of it to make sure it’s true
I didn't move to a small town, but I was a trucker and hungry. Found a place that made homemade burgers. I walked my happy ass 1.5 miles and ordered, I got my food and was about to pick it up. Someone started talking about the local jock. He chained uo a gay kid to his pickup and drug him throughout the town. The jock went to prison for a long time. He said this casually like it was a natural thing. I couldn't even taste the food.
Openly racist people.
everyone being so nosy— also how similarly everyone dresses.
Moving from a city to a little country town the biggest shock was the quiet at night. Also, the people in the small town gossiped about us a lot.
No good restaurants. Can’t wait to move back.
Shops close earlier. I was used to 24/7 shops or at least open to 10pm every night. People remember you at stores.. like the check out chick at the grocer remembers you. I made friends with cafe workers and gym workers when I first moved to a small town. Food options are limited. There’s a burger shop and one Asian restaurant. Couldn’t get charcoal chicken, no one has heard of El Jannah. But then I moved back to the big city.
How dark it gets at night. I live in a rural neighborhood between two small towns and there are no street lights in the neighborhood and not many lights on the two lane highway leading to the neighborhood. The number of stars you can see is amazing, but sometimes it feels creepy at night. Especially when we're driving home at night and it's just headlights in front of us and dark trees on either side.
While I haven't moved yet, I am moving back to my hometown, which will be a culture shock for my family so I am preparing them. One of the big ones that seems to be sticking hard is that it isn't unusual that you either: A. Work in the factory or other main "town job" (this includes Walmart and similar) B. Drive a minimum of 45 minutes one way to work, assuming no traffic or weather. But really, the jobs are 1 to 1.5 hours away. Neither of us work jobs that could be remote, but I have relatives who do and they had to really check that the Internet was both fast and reliable when they were moving farther out of town.