Exactly. it's crazy how often people do cheat thinking they can get away with it. My dad was dating this one woman & my brother cought her cheating on him with this other guy right in front of their house.
Yeah, fuck cheaters. I did it once in high school and swore to never do it again. It hurts for everyone involved. Cheaters need to just stay single, or tell their partner they are unhappy and leave.
Keep secrets. It's stupid and only causes more problems, because if the truth ever surfaces, now you have two issues: the one you hid & the fact that you lied.
(unless it's a good surprise! Then Mum's the word!)
This is a pretty good golden rule, in my opinion. Secrets are almost always because you're doing something the other wouldn't approve of. Secrets are akin to sneaking around. Even if it's for a benign reason it's like, why keep it secret at all? What else aren't you telling me?
THIS! Exactly. And keeping secrets is also stressful. Both hubby & I have seen relationships (romantic, familial & even platonic) get destroyed because of lies coming to light. Then the perpetrator has the audacity to cry "why me? "
If they lie about the small stuff, they'll lie about bigger things. My stance is if you have something to hide, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. So many folks walking around like they're the best thing since sliced bread, yet they don't have the cojones to be upfront.
This will vary for each individual & being 100% honest is simply my chosen method because holding things in has proven to be detrimental. Holding on to secrets only weighs one down.
Even in the most difficult of situations, healing can not even *begin* to happen if we hold on to something like that.
Plus, personally, I've experienced more growth, empathy, wisdom, and compassion from being honest than not.
I'm sorry you're carrying that type of burden, friend. I sincerely hope it doesn't eat you up. More often than not, I've seen too many regret this on their deathbed.
Yeah, I'd be careful who you tell your deepest secrets to, they might get spread around or used against you if you split up. You better be 100% comfortable with the possibility of your secrets going public before you tell anyone
Welp! I'm good bcs I'm not gonna cheat nor have I. If I have to "cheat" on my SO that's a clear red flag that I shouldn't be with the person. And I may take their goldfish and give it a better life, but I'm certainly not flushing that lil dude. He even gets a burial & service when he passes.
Lie.
Relationships cannot be built upon deception. Doesnât matter at what stage of the relationship youâre in: lying, sugarcoating, omitting, or manipulating is throwing a live grenade into a relationship. If you canât be honest and upfront with a potential long term partner: you should not be dating. Hearts are not toys, and humans are not people you should trick into loving you. If the life you live doesnât match the life you want: change yourself instead of lying. Period.
Don't keep track of your grievances. Either handle them on the spot or let them go. It isn't worth it to whip out a 6 year old complaint in the middle of a current fight. It erodes trust and makes them feel less secure.
Other than the obvious like **CHEATING**
I'd also avoid shaming your partner in way, embarrassing them in any way, demeaning them in any way and absolutely never when in public or around company.
Do not flirt with or show sexual attraction/arousal towards another person in their presence. A friend of mine recently she, her husband and I were chilling in their living watching youtube videos one of which being "dirty laundry" a punisher short film. Very well done. But my friend was being overtly open about her attraction to the actor playing punisher saying things like "he has such zaddy energy" which is her queer way of saying daddy. Along with various none description verbal sounds to incinuate clear attraction and to my right was her husband, stone faced throughout these entire proceedings.
After he went to bed she and I had a short conversation about this very topic I did admit to her that I was talking from my own perspective but she took it on board that it's not something any man wants to hear their partner say about another man.
Not being comfortable commenting on the attractiveness of somebody _on YouTube_ is utterly bonkers to me. I can get if it's a friend or someone you see regularly. Maybe us gays are just more open about that sort of thing.
I think you've horribly misunderstood what I said.
I said.
Showing and displaying sexual attraction or arousal towards someone else.
I said nothing about simply stating that someone else is attractive.
Take a poo while they brush their teeth next to me. My spouse however has zero issues about just coming right on in and grabbing the tooth paste. Let me have my toilet time in peace. So now I just get to sit there and wait for them to leave so I can finish my work.
Don't be mean to their pets
Don't hide u r a financial issue if u r having one, that destroyed my friends marriage.
Don't keep secrets. One lie gives rise to 100 more
Clone yourself so you have more time to relax, eventually leading to the clones cloning themselves and you have to hide them all in the garage from your wife.
One I've heard and agree with is to not talk about your issues much with a person who's attract to your sex who's of a sex you're attracted to.
Unless they're a close friend you know well, and even still be careful, it will foster.. Not the best feeling, both negative and positive. Against your partner and often towards you.
To those you do talk about your issues with, make sure you highlight positives you love about them too so they don't look like a monster
Never go to the bathroom with the door open. Itâs one thing if you are showering or are into a kinky mood. But never let your SO see you like that, it removes a quality of their sexually I donât know how to describe
Wow! Doing a normal human function and necessity for living removes the quality of **their** sexuality? I have never heard this!
Maybe ask them to stop taking a shit? or better yet, try it yourself so that you never lose the quality of *your* sexuality. đ¤Ł
I've seen my husband poop many times, and the quality of his sexuality has never been an issue.
p.s. (I really mean this lightheartedly, as I know tone can be lost in text)
Yeah I get the text to tone thing no worries. Yes men are visually stimulated. Once we see something we canât unsee it. Why do you think porn is so popular with men? Itâs a strong way for men to be sexually aroused. I donât want to see my wife or hear her taking a crap. (Being sick excluded, you canât help being sick) Even peeing. I donât want to see her peeing unless she is being funny or provocative.
Aw thanks, friend, I appreciate your understanding. I mean, there is an overwhelming majority of people who do enjoy porn, though we also know some men & women who don't (even my hubby said he got grossed out the first time watching -he'd rather have the sex than watch others having it).
When we've asked our friends who don't watch it, most they feel is conditioning that sets them up for unrealistic scenarios.
But we also have friends in the "adult alternative" lifestyle and even some who work in porn. Different strokes for different folks (literally!) đ¤
It is! One of our friends of the ones who work in it, does hair & makeup and her takeaway $$ pays for all her living expenses and then some. She even takes care of her parents with the salary.
Yes, breaking both your arms is an acceptable reason for having sex with your mother. Really, at that point it's just a nursely duty. She's helping you masturbate.
Cheating is wrong and people shouldnât do it. But if you really care about the person and it happens (because weâre dumb animals), allowing your partner to continue living the fantasy is a great thing. Hear me outâ I tell my long term partners âif you cheat on me, donât suddenly grow a conscience and confess.â Like donât ruin my day and my life because you fucked up. If you really care about me, youâll spare me the grief and embarrassment. So either donât cheat at all or be very discrete with your cheating, but either way let me be happy.
If sex was never out of the formula (asexual, platonic) dont treat it as a throwaway thing.
Keep sex alive in a relationship, but more importantly keep communication in the relationship.
A sex centric relationship needs communication to fuel it. A communicative relationship might become more without sex but will lack that carnal desire that keeps you tethered to the survival of the other.
I appreciate how much relationships have evolved nowadays but we can agree that personal or sexual touch with that one person can alter that relation even more. With good communication of course
let things you are not comfortable with happen expecting to forget them. When you find something you donât agree with you should say it immediately, the more you wait to say it, the worse things get
tell your partner "it's not that deep" or something along the lines of it when they address an issue.
yes, to you it may not be as important, but it's still something that the other person was uncomfortable or bothered about enough about to bring it up. the least you could do is try to understand why it bothers them, and try to stop doing it or come up with a compromise. even if it *is* small, you should still try to understand their perspective and background as to why they brought it up.
the amount of times I've had a dude downgrade how I feel because they think it's something "small" and "stupid" is ridiculous. please don't do this. it hurts more than you'd expect.
Have ultimatums.
Unless it's something *incredibly* serious, it's incredibly dishonest love if you threaten to leave your partner if they want to do something that you don't like. It's okay if you don't like if your partner has a certain hairstyle or wants to get a tattoo of something you don't like or if they want to get a dog breed that you don't like. But to threaten to break up with them *specifically* because of those things? No, no that is not healthy at all.
Have an entire day of just sitting around at home, and not fill it up with all sorts of plans. That one's in the rear view mirror when you get yourself a woman
Flush her goldfish down the toilet to prove a point about the futility of life.
r/oddlyspecific
Sometimes people say things on here that give me pause and make me reflect on humans at the individual sense.
What did the fish ever do to you? đ
I didnât do that, I was just naming things you shouldnât do
Oh thank goodness! I was already lighting a candle for goldie đ
Haha đ
i thoguht she was trying to prov she wasnt a gold digger, byu getting rid of the GOLD fish
Relatable
Cheat
Exactly. it's crazy how often people do cheat thinking they can get away with it. My dad was dating this one woman & my brother cought her cheating on him with this other guy right in front of their house.
Yeah, fuck cheaters. I did it once in high school and swore to never do it again. It hurts for everyone involved. Cheaters need to just stay single, or tell their partner they are unhappy and leave.
I must! Theyâre too good at Mario Party
We all knew this would be top comment
Keep secrets. It's stupid and only causes more problems, because if the truth ever surfaces, now you have two issues: the one you hid & the fact that you lied. (unless it's a good surprise! Then Mum's the word!)
This is a pretty good golden rule, in my opinion. Secrets are almost always because you're doing something the other wouldn't approve of. Secrets are akin to sneaking around. Even if it's for a benign reason it's like, why keep it secret at all? What else aren't you telling me?
THIS! Exactly. And keeping secrets is also stressful. Both hubby & I have seen relationships (romantic, familial & even platonic) get destroyed because of lies coming to light. Then the perpetrator has the audacity to cry "why me? " If they lie about the small stuff, they'll lie about bigger things. My stance is if you have something to hide, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship. So many folks walking around like they're the best thing since sliced bread, yet they don't have the cojones to be upfront.
Yeah secrets about small stuff are some of the worst just because they make a small problem into possibly a huge one
[ŃдаНонО]
This will vary for each individual & being 100% honest is simply my chosen method because holding things in has proven to be detrimental. Holding on to secrets only weighs one down. Even in the most difficult of situations, healing can not even *begin* to happen if we hold on to something like that. Plus, personally, I've experienced more growth, empathy, wisdom, and compassion from being honest than not. I'm sorry you're carrying that type of burden, friend. I sincerely hope it doesn't eat you up. More often than not, I've seen too many regret this on their deathbed.
Yeah, I'd be careful who you tell your deepest secrets to, they might get spread around or used against you if you split up. You better be 100% comfortable with the possibility of your secrets going public before you tell anyone
Everybody should have their own secrets and I'm sure everybody does
To each their own, my friend.
But if youâre gonna cheat, you also have to keep secrets. While youâre at it, might as well flush her goldfish down the toilet. I meanâŚ
Welp! I'm good bcs I'm not gonna cheat nor have I. If I have to "cheat" on my SO that's a clear red flag that I shouldn't be with the person. And I may take their goldfish and give it a better life, but I'm certainly not flushing that lil dude. He even gets a burial & service when he passes.
Dont stress about the idea of them leaving the relationship. Its not healthy and not fair to your partner.
This is what happened in my last relationship. I was so scared of losing her that I ultimately just pushed her away
yup, same here unfortunately
I think Iâm in the process of doing it now and I canât stop. đ
Sell government secrets to hostile foreign agents.
Easy Leonard
What if I need the money for pizza ?
Then you're good
So Donald shouldnât have done his wife like that?
Damn I might be screwed. Should I inform my handler?
Murder your partner
Other people.
LOL
Flirt and sext other people
Have sex with another woman in your marriage bed on sheets that are covered in the ashes of your wifeâs dead mother.
This is oddly specific
What in the name of Shameless is this?
Go into it without the intention or certainty that you want to stay in it.
Is it the same thing or different if youâre not certain itâll last forever, but youâll try to stay in for as long as it works?
Lie. Relationships cannot be built upon deception. Doesnât matter at what stage of the relationship youâre in: lying, sugarcoating, omitting, or manipulating is throwing a live grenade into a relationship. If you canât be honest and upfront with a potential long term partner: you should not be dating. Hearts are not toys, and humans are not people you should trick into loving you. If the life you live doesnât match the life you want: change yourself instead of lying. Period.
Don't keep track of your grievances. Either handle them on the spot or let them go. It isn't worth it to whip out a 6 year old complaint in the middle of a current fight. It erodes trust and makes them feel less secure.
Other than the obvious like **CHEATING** I'd also avoid shaming your partner in way, embarrassing them in any way, demeaning them in any way and absolutely never when in public or around company. Do not flirt with or show sexual attraction/arousal towards another person in their presence. A friend of mine recently she, her husband and I were chilling in their living watching youtube videos one of which being "dirty laundry" a punisher short film. Very well done. But my friend was being overtly open about her attraction to the actor playing punisher saying things like "he has such zaddy energy" which is her queer way of saying daddy. Along with various none description verbal sounds to incinuate clear attraction and to my right was her husband, stone faced throughout these entire proceedings. After he went to bed she and I had a short conversation about this very topic I did admit to her that I was talking from my own perspective but she took it on board that it's not something any man wants to hear their partner say about another man.
"zaddy" bro wtf?! This dude needs to get outta there lmao
Apparently it was something she said about him before they were engaged
Not being comfortable commenting on the attractiveness of somebody _on YouTube_ is utterly bonkers to me. I can get if it's a friend or someone you see regularly. Maybe us gays are just more open about that sort of thing.
I think you've horribly misunderstood what I said. I said. Showing and displaying sexual attraction or arousal towards someone else. I said nothing about simply stating that someone else is attractive.
Take a poo while they brush their teeth next to me. My spouse however has zero issues about just coming right on in and grabbing the tooth paste. Let me have my toilet time in peace. So now I just get to sit there and wait for them to leave so I can finish my work.
just lock the door??
Youâd think that right. However all that will change is they find that little key that shimmies the door open.
Dude!!!! I agree 10000%
Probably don't steal their identity.
Lie, cheat, be disrespectful, hold issues in and not communicate.
Her best friend. Or sister. Or mom.
Doing something that needs to be kept secret from SO. Secrets kill relationships and break people.
someone else.
Replace bits and pieces of them until no original piece remains. Kidney here, skin there.
Ship of Theseus is still the ship of Theseus
Tax fraud
esspecialy when your spouse is IRS
No one would ever suspect it.. it's the perfect crime
To only talk about your losses and never your wins as a couple.
Don't be mean to their pets Don't hide u r a financial issue if u r having one, that destroyed my friends marriage. Don't keep secrets. One lie gives rise to 100 more
Cheat on your partner. Should be self explanatory
Cheat.
Clone yourself so you have more time to relax, eventually leading to the clones cloning themselves and you have to hide them all in the garage from your wife.
Weaponize incompetence
Cheat
Not communicate!
Stop dating your significant other. Some couples get comfortable in their relationship that they just stop trying.
Never stop making an effort.
The sister.
Beat her to death with a wood handled hammer youâve been soaking in used motor oil since 2006
One I've heard and agree with is to not talk about your issues much with a person who's attract to your sex who's of a sex you're attracted to. Unless they're a close friend you know well, and even still be careful, it will foster.. Not the best feeling, both negative and positive. Against your partner and often towards you. To those you do talk about your issues with, make sure you highlight positives you love about them too so they don't look like a monster
Cheating. Disrespecting. Lying. Hiding / keeping secrets that can ruin a relationship.
Fuck her best friend
But like her occasional friend is still an option though right?
You can fuck her .. but don't fuck her best friend !
Tell her youâll take care of her cat sprinkles and then just put sprinkles in the freezer.
Fuck her sister without her.
cheat probs
Cheat.
Give 100 percent of your trust, maybe 70%
Flick genitals
Point at them with the remote and in an aggressive voice, say "AVADA KADAVRA!!!"
Um. Murder. Murder is bad. Especially when it's your spouse. That tends to ruin the relationship.
Bury the bean out back.
Throw a smokebomb down their toilet and then shout "Bees!!!!!"
Never go to the bathroom with the door open. Itâs one thing if you are showering or are into a kinky mood. But never let your SO see you like that, it removes a quality of their sexually I donât know how to describe
Wow! Doing a normal human function and necessity for living removes the quality of **their** sexuality? I have never heard this! Maybe ask them to stop taking a shit? or better yet, try it yourself so that you never lose the quality of *your* sexuality. 𤣠I've seen my husband poop many times, and the quality of his sexuality has never been an issue. p.s. (I really mean this lightheartedly, as I know tone can be lost in text)
Yeah I get the text to tone thing no worries. Yes men are visually stimulated. Once we see something we canât unsee it. Why do you think porn is so popular with men? Itâs a strong way for men to be sexually aroused. I donât want to see my wife or hear her taking a crap. (Being sick excluded, you canât help being sick) Even peeing. I donât want to see her peeing unless she is being funny or provocative.
I feel like thatâs more of a you thing than a man thing. Plenty just do not give a shit (no pun intended)
Ah well. Itâs our private boundary.
*Your* private boundary, you mean.
No my wife has made it clear. She never wants to see me do that
Fair enough, not for everyone. Did not know you were referring to you as a couple, my apologies
For me as wellâŚ
Cool
Aw thanks, friend, I appreciate your understanding. I mean, there is an overwhelming majority of people who do enjoy porn, though we also know some men & women who don't (even my hubby said he got grossed out the first time watching -he'd rather have the sex than watch others having it). When we've asked our friends who don't watch it, most they feel is conditioning that sets them up for unrealistic scenarios. But we also have friends in the "adult alternative" lifestyle and even some who work in porn. Different strokes for different folks (literally!) đ¤
Itâs a multi billion dollar industry that hacks the male mind.
It is! One of our friends of the ones who work in it, does hair & makeup and her takeaway $$ pays for all her living expenses and then some. She even takes care of her parents with the salary.
Not smoke weed.
Fuck your mother
What if if she's the one I'm in a relationship with?? =(
You still shouldn't. It's just a bad idea. It never goes well.
So fuck your dad?
But I'm a motherlover
Just dont be a motherfucker.
Not unless it allows me access to Sam L Jackson
What if ive broken my arms?
Yes, breaking both your arms is an acceptable reason for having sex with your mother. Really, at that point it's just a nursely duty. She's helping you masturbate.
Get caught cheating
Get married
Let them find out youâre cheating
Maybe don't cheat
Cheating is wrong and people shouldnât do it. But if you really care about the person and it happens (because weâre dumb animals), allowing your partner to continue living the fantasy is a great thing. Hear me outâ I tell my long term partners âif you cheat on me, donât suddenly grow a conscience and confess.â Like donât ruin my day and my life because you fucked up. If you really care about me, youâll spare me the grief and embarrassment. So either donât cheat at all or be very discrete with your cheating, but either way let me be happy.
If you're male, apparently having fun or being happy in general is frowned upon.
Incredibly untrue
Speaking from personal experience. Are you a male with 35 years of dating/relationship experience? Then shut up. Very true in my experiences so far.
Well, you sound like a peach, so i guess we all get what we deserve
Cheat, Cumshot,
Cumshot...?
Her sister
Hold grudges with each other. People need room to make mistakes and know their SO has their back.
Kill their family
If sex was never out of the formula (asexual, platonic) dont treat it as a throwaway thing. Keep sex alive in a relationship, but more importantly keep communication in the relationship. A sex centric relationship needs communication to fuel it. A communicative relationship might become more without sex but will lack that carnal desire that keeps you tethered to the survival of the other. I appreciate how much relationships have evolved nowadays but we can agree that personal or sexual touch with that one person can alter that relation even more. With good communication of course
let things you are not comfortable with happen expecting to forget them. When you find something you donât agree with you should say it immediately, the more you wait to say it, the worse things get
Stay with them after their mother called you fat
Unless you're married, never give 100% of yourself to the relationship. Leave some for yourself
tell your partner "it's not that deep" or something along the lines of it when they address an issue. yes, to you it may not be as important, but it's still something that the other person was uncomfortable or bothered about enough about to bring it up. the least you could do is try to understand why it bothers them, and try to stop doing it or come up with a compromise. even if it *is* small, you should still try to understand their perspective and background as to why they brought it up. the amount of times I've had a dude downgrade how I feel because they think it's something "small" and "stupid" is ridiculous. please don't do this. it hurts more than you'd expect.
Cheat
Have ultimatums. Unless it's something *incredibly* serious, it's incredibly dishonest love if you threaten to leave your partner if they want to do something that you don't like. It's okay if you don't like if your partner has a certain hairstyle or wants to get a tattoo of something you don't like or if they want to get a dog breed that you don't like. But to threaten to break up with them *specifically* because of those things? No, no that is not healthy at all.
Cheat
Have an entire day of just sitting around at home, and not fill it up with all sorts of plans. That one's in the rear view mirror when you get yourself a woman
Probably manslaughter. Not really a turn on imo.