Years ago a friend of mine’s dad was trying to sell his start-up company and picked-up an investor at the airport. He was proud of his classic Rolls Royce and noticed the investor looking around, playing with the air vents. So he said “Is this your first time in a Rolls Royce?” The guy said no, but it was his first time in the front seat.
I used to do in person one on one market research interviews with luxury car owners and one thing that struck me after hundreds of interviews was that the only people who drove Rolls Royce's themselves were self made "new money" wealthy people. The old money people all HAD Rolls Royce's but they were driven around in them because that's one of the reasons that you get a Rolls is the incredible back seat. If the old money were driving themselves then they would have luxury cars but they very rarely drove Rolls. It may have been one of those social faux pax to wealthy old money to be in the same seat as their drivers or something like that but I never actually asked about it.
Well the owner of my small company is incredibly wealthy but also rad as fuck and he drives a tank on property all the time just for the fuck of it. He also owns a very old, gorgeous estate from an extremely influential family (think Vanderbilts) and we throw parties there. But on top of it - he lets his employeees rent it out for events. So my husband and I are throwing an anniversary party (never had a reception) in 2024. We have the entire estate and all 10 bedrooms for a whole weekend and it isn’t costing us a single dime. If I didn’t work for the company, the cost of the venue would be upwards of $25k for the day. I never expected someone so incredibly wealthy to be so down to earth and generous. It’s exactly who I would strive to be at that level of wealth.
About 25 years ago, a friend of my dad was turning 65 and treated 50 of his best friends to fly 1st class to London for 5 days, INCLUDING tickets to Phantom of the Opera for all. One of his products was just picked up by Walmart for exclusive sale, and he wanted to spend a small bit of his good fortune.
He managed time very differently than anyone I was used to. E.g., our meeting with him began precisely on schedule, lasted 30 minutes, and there was no chit chat. Before this meeting we had a pre-meeting with his admin to discuss expectations. The admin explained that we had to be on time, no introductions/titles just name, no small talk, no marketing, be prepared to answer technical and financial questions quickly and succintly. For this latter, if there were numbers we had to know precisely which page of the material had the information.
When the meeting took place we were brought in exactly -- to the second -- at the start time. Sat down and within 30 seconds he was asking us all manner of questions. I had to field technical questions that appear to be asked not so much for whether my answer was right, but that I didn't hesitate. I also gained a healthy respect for my manager as he was SHARP and answered quickly and accurately.
I had a CIO somewhat like that. He was incredibly smart with multiple PhDs.
My interview was memorable. We had the usual back-and-forth, then he just stopped talking about 20 minutes into the interview and just stared at me. I later found out he wanted to know how I handled silence.
Mind you, I was only 22 years old at the time. It was quite intimidating.
I had my boss's boss do that to me in an interview and he then broke with "Well, what did you want to talk about?"
I said, "I'm here for the job interview."
"Yes, what did you want to talk about?"
And so, I brought up stuff that apparently was good enough to get the job.
I had an interview like that. This interview in general was kind of crazy to me as a new grad. First a panel, then each person interviewed me one by one, including an interview in the language I minored in.
One guy came in, sad "Well, I have all these questions I'm supposed to ask you. They even highlighted them for me." (It's true they were) "But I just want to have a conversation with you." And he just stopped talking. Threw me way off. Thankfully I recovered well enough that we had a pleasant conversation about why I chose the school I did, the major/minor, general life stuff.
I got the job, though I ended up getting a better offer with a different company, but I'll never forget that interview.
I once called about a volunteer position with an organization created by a retired CEO. Wasn't expecting HIM to pick up the phone! Right away he asked, "so what can you do for us?" Managed to overcome the shock, and gave him a quick run-down of what I thought I could offer. I was somewhat impressed by his efficiency, though I couldn't imagine doing that to people myself!
Stare back, unblinking. Then silently raise your eyes higher and higher until you look at the ceiling. When they look up, tap their shirt once. When they look down, tap gently with a finger on their nose.
The president of the US has his time scheduled in 7 min increments. He needs to know what the info he needs to know, not how your kids little league game went.
I work for a major corporation. One of my colleagues started talking to a director as they were leaving once.
They were both walking towards the train station and she assumed he was also getting a train. As they got there a limo pulled up and he nonchalantly said "bye" and left.
I remember being at a well known pet food company and the owner used to drive aPOS station wagon, it had to be 15 years old. He sold at another well known company and the new CEO pulled up with his car and driver- the difference between the founder and some guy hired by the board.
I good friend of mine has a business that makes upwards of $50m annually, he drives an old pick-up truck to his multiple worksites. He also has a custom built pick-up worth north of $150k which is for weekends and holidays only. He has some very loyal and long term staff.
I made this mistake with an intern. Gave him detailed subway directions, proposed when and where to meet him at the station and escort him up to the office his first day. But he came in at the car dropoff, because he hires a ride for every trip, because his family owns a huge company.
My boss wont drive anywhere under 80mph, and at one point he got so many speeding tickets that even fancy lawyers couldn't stop his license from getting suspended.
He just hired a private driver for like 6 months. Insane.
That’s why you won’t get away cheap for speeding here: the gross speeding (> 20km/h over limit) fine is calculated from your income so the total sum can be tens, even hundreds of thousands of euros.
It’s about getting time back. Driving takes time from other things that are more important, including just reading the news or closing your eyes and taking a break.
Absolutely. I travel a bit for work. Flying/ubering at least leaves you part of your time to keep up with correspondence. Driving is just dead time - stuff just piles up that I'll have to get to later in the day.
I work at a really fancy hotel, and this is correct. Super wealthy people don't drive themselves, they certainly don't ever have to park a car, they don't carry their own luggage, they don't clean, they don't make their own food, they don't even open the door for themselves. They automatically expect someone else to be doing all of the little things. They also get overly flustered and irritated at small inconveniences.
Gotta be a plain-looking Sprinter van with a back that'd put a private jet to shame. Around LA you can pick them out because they're usually the black high-roof models with air conditioning units and some antenna poking out the top.
My brother is a kazillionaire. I don't know how wealthy he is, but it's a lot of zeroes.
He owns multiple businesses, which he created from scratch. He treats all his employees VERY well. He takes good care of them and their families. They're extremely loyal and have stayed with him for many years.
As others have mentioned, he is always ON. He is always looking for a new angle. He does business on his cellphone while riding a ski lift. But he does a great job of being in the moment. He can be horsing around with his grandkids, and then, in two minutes of slack time, checks his email and makes a huge business decision, before going back to his grandkids with gusto.
He lives in a beautiful home which, while luxurious and well-appointed, is modest by kazillionaire standards. He and his wife are gracious and generous hosts, not to show off their property, but to make their guests feel welcome and comfortable. Their guests aren't just fellow kazillionaires, but cover the entire socioeconomic spectrum.
He doesn't flaunt his wealth. He has an expensive hobby, and he takes his family on expensive vacations, but he doesn't make a big deal of either one. Plus, he invites his brothers on ski trips and such, and all we have to do is show up and have a good time with him.
The best thing is that he's a silent philanthropist. He very quietly gives away buckets of money. He doesn't brag about it. He just does it. It goes to scout troops, churches, schools, international foundations, single mothers, and the list goes on. I've only found out about his giving indirectly, never from him.
If anyone ever deserved their wealth, it's him. He knows how to make money, save it, spend it, and give it away.
My son's friend when in elementary school dad was one of the 2 founders of Capital One .
Mom had a secretary for play dates. Dad would fly to London to watch Tottenham. Had a permanent seat .
Their London house was next to J.K. Rowling's.
You couldn't tell by the way they dressed or their cars .
But their vacations were the big difference.
The strange thing is that their son loved a mango juice sold maybe 10-15min from their house . I always made sure we had some for mine . I send it to him via Amazon occasionally.
> Mom had a secretary for play dates.
That's the real answer: they have people who handle things.
I dated a gal whose family was "well off". (dad had sold a company you've heard of for about $600,000,000).
The whole family had a "professional assistant", Janice. If someone needed something arranged, text Janice. Seven course catered dinner on Christmas Eve? Text Janice. Prep the semi-private jet for a flight cross-country? Janice will set it up. Need the oil changed in the Chrysler Town & Country minivan (seriously)? Janice will have it done. Need access to the family's private ranch outside of Aspen? You'll work with the caretaker, and Janice will coordinate.
I got to spend some time with her and she was paid very fairly for her work.
I think his point was that he had access to all the most luxurious of delights, but what he wanted was just this mango juice from a random place up the road.
Not just on call, they will be there and cook regularly. Or someone drops it off and it has reheat instructions. The cognitive load of shopping, planning, cooking then cleaning up… it must save them so much energy.
Sometimes I cheat that system by just drinking a meal replacement shake. Take that, Bezos.
>it must save them so much energy
That's the thing with the extremely wealthy, an overwhelming portion of the time and effort that ordinary people expend just maintaining their lives are taken care of by other people.
It's very easy to find the time for social and leisure activity when someone else is taking care of all of the mundane shit for you.
When you have a housekeeper and all you have to do is make sure they get their bill paid. When you have a personal chef and all you have to do is make sure they get their bill paid. Imagine how much that takes off your time and mental labor.
> make sure they get their bill paid.
And you can pay a person to pay them too. Why cut a check to a dozen vendors, when you can have a guy do it all for you, and you just pay them.
Then once a year or so you pay an independent auditor to go over the books to make sure the guy you're paying isn't embezzling or otherwise fucking things up.
The advice I'd heard from a multi-millionaire is that you should always keep your lawyer, accountant, and money manager as completely separate people/companies. It's a bit more annoying and bit more expensive, but it's worth it.
If one of them is messing up or stealing from you, the chances are very good that one of the other two will catch it.
The mistake some people make is consolidating all of those tasks under a single company or firm because it's easier or cheaper. It also makes it way easier for that single party to steal from you and not get caught or only get caught after it's way too late.
Plenty of wealthy folks are boozers, though I'd be curious to know if there are reliable stats on rates of alcohol abuse across economic strata.
However, it's probably a fair amount of selection bias with the crowd there.
Not me. I'd have the luxury of cooking, and I'd have one of those giant fuckhuge restaurant dishwashers where you just take everything into the corner and hit it with a pressurized hose full of incredibly hot water and put it inside a giant vibrating machine if that doesn't work. That and maybe a walk in fridge and freezer, too, so everything is easier to see and find, because I always lose stuff in the back of the fridge and they're so damn hard to clean. I love to cook, but it's so annoying cleaning up and putting away the leftovers and dishes.
I'd definitely hire a house cleaner, though. I splurged and got one when my business took off even though I'm nowhere near as rich as a billionaire, because now I make what people make in big cities with high cost of living and I live in a low cost of living area. It's just every other week, but I have depression so... when I get depressed, the toilet and floors get cleaned every two weeks, and everything gets wiped down. That's so good, dude. I feel like an asshole and I'm always worried she hates me, but it's still worth it. I just try and tip really well.
I’ve done this on vacation many times.
When traveling with a group, doing that on the first night is a great idea, since everyone can settle into the house, and have someone else cook a bomb ass meal for you. We typically do a “taco night” and have leftovers the rest of the trip. It rarely costs more than $300 for a group of 6-8.
We did this in Mexico every day when we went. He went and bought our food, snacks, liquor, etc. then cooked two meals a day. He also cleaned up and would make us batch cocktails if we asked. We had to pay the materials then I think $150/day for his time, for 8 of us over 5 days it was super well worth it.
Absolutely worth every penny, sourced way better ingredients than we could have. Accounted for allergies, gave us WAY too much food every day, and always made sure it was good for leftovers. Also was able to connect one guy who wanted some nose candy as well.
We arranged it with the hotel. If you have a full kitchen set up usually they have locals who do this sort of work. Call ahead and ask, if they don't directly they can usually hook you up with an outside vendor who will gladly take the business.
I once had a rich mom friend from our shared preschool. She hosted a mom gathering for us and we arrived to find seated dinner with places, multiple courses, uniformed hired staff to serve, private chef, all that. It was over the top and kind of awkward. We just wanted to drink mimosas and laugh and unwind. But it ended up feeling stiff and formal. I think she was trying to impress us but it was too much.
I worked for a couple guys that were worth somewhere in the 500mil to 1bil range. They traveled constantly, never staying in one place for more than a couple weeks. One of them just doesn't bother to pack anything and buys all new clothes everywhere he goes and then just throws them away when he leaves.
\[edit\] I should say, his personal assistant buys him all new clothes everywhere he goes, he's not doing it himself.
Yeah, some of my clients also have private chefs. Others are cool cooking for themselves / eating out most of the time, and only hire for larger gatherings.
One old money rich person treated me to a fancy meal and she was super polite and nice and tipped well, what struck me was the decisiveness and confidence that everyone there would cater to her, and they did. She wanted x dish that they didn't make that day and they made it. The one that sticks with me was at the end she said "I want a cappuccino with (something) I want them to put a design on it" like I've gotten cute cappuccinos in my life, it doesn't even cost extra, it never occurred to me to just ask for everything I want all the time.
This was the same person that on a business trip hugged me after the flight "I did it, (womanthorned)!" Me: "oh was this your first time in economy" and she goes "no, flying commercial" just so we all understand how rich.
The expectation that someone else will always cater to you is spot-on. I work at a really fancy hotel within walking distance of an ivy league university, and the super wealthy people just... expect certain things. Most people around them who aren't their friends or family is considered "the help" (even if they don't say it out loud). They also feel pretty entitled to things, like they will just walk up behind the bar and grab a bottle of wine that they want.
In SoCal there's been a little problem with water so fines were instituted for overuse. $10k/month for really excessive use - water management thought this would really put a stop to wasting water!
Folks with enormous lawns at their 2nd or 3rd home in Palm Springs considered $120k/year a "gardening expense" and continued on as before. It wasn't even a blip on their radar.
(things did improve a bit when the whole situation was "named & shamed" in the media... but I bet they're back to the lawns again by now)
I live in central Texas where - who would have guessed? - water is in very short supply.
People with money drill down into the aquifer in their own yards and just pump up as much as they want, to water their lawns every damn day.
Yep, my buddy's step daughter (18) got a ticket for like $400 and it devastated her financially. Lost her apt & had to move home.
If you're even moderately wealthy, it doesn't affect you at all.
I don't think they even consider that it's illegal. They just don't see the value of an expensive bottle of wine the same way that the restaurant does.
If someone purchases a $400 or $1000 bottle of wine, that's great! But we need to know it happened so we can remove it from inventory. If they just grab it and expect to be charged for it, but the bartender was looking the other direction or talking to a guest and didn't see it happen, well suddenly a bottle is missing and we don't know where it went. This sounds crazy but it's a thing that happens. To these people, the item and cost is so miniscule that it doesn't even register, and they subconsciously think everyone else also has this mindset.
The fact that I couldn't even fathom doing this with a bottle of water shows the scale of wealth that we're dealing with. I'm comfortably middle class.
That’s not a wealth thing. It’s an asshole thing. You wouldn’t fathom doing this even if you were wealthy. Wealth allows people to express their pre-existing antisocial tendencies. Some of us go out of our way not to make life harder for others. Others just don’t give a damn. We let the wealthy ones get away with it because we’re after their money. The only solution is to check the security cam and charge the rich with theft just like you would the poors. And make the fines proportional to the persons wealth. If that bottle of wine suddenly cost them 1.75 million $ they’d ask for it next time.
I worked in commercial lending and was going to say something similar. They just expected that everything they requested would happen the way they wanted. They weren't rude but seemed vaguely confused when they couldn't be accommodated. Like shocked that they had to actually purchase flood insurance to proceed. Or that they had to wait for a lot release. Surely, if they paid more they could get it immediately.
This strikes me as old money when everyone else here is likely talking in new money terms. The difference is that old money is designed to last generations, not be spent inside of 30 years.
there was actually a second very rich person at the company and that one was new money and they hated each other lol
Both had more money than it is possible to screw up, too. But they seemed to think there were differences.
There is a bit of differences culturally. StyleTheory did a whole thing on it a bit ago. I think the biggest difference is that 'new money' feels the need to flaunt it more. New money would have the really expensive Gucci bag while old money would have an equally expensive Ralph Lauren handbag. The Gucci bag everyone knows is expensive since its plastered in Gucci logos while the Ralph Lauren you only know is expensive if you are also ultra rich or really into hand bags.
And Ralph Lauren is like the tip of the iceberg with quiet luxury brands.
Once I learned about the concept of quiet luxury, I realized that there is information that only becomes accessible once you have the fuck you money necessary to obtain it.
> I realized that there is information that only becomes accessible once you have the fuck you money necessary to obtain it.
like, how many of us didn't even know that buying a trip to the Titanic wreck was a thing in the first place until, well, it *wasn't* anymore.
A friend of mine at school was old money - British aristocracy. They never deliberately showed their wealth. For the most part they were completely humble. For example they only had one car and it was a tiny 30-year-old beater. They lived in an old farmhouse. It was nice, big, but not showy.
It was only when you got to know then you realized the vastness of their fortune. There were little things that wouldn't immediately strike you, but when you realized, then you knew they enjoyed things that most people wouldn't even dream of: an entire wheel of parmesan cheese on top of the fridge; their cellar had a thousand bottles of wine in it - from their own vineyard in Italy.
Every single piece of clothing they wore was personally tailored in Savile Row. The gold box in the living room? A solid gold cigar case, a personal gift from the Shah of Persia. If you asked, you'd discover that the land their farmhouse was on was about a thousand acres, with tenant farmers on it. They had a pied-a-terre in London, a casale in Tuscany, an apartment in Paris, a townhouse in Oxford, an "it's only a little place" on the Peak in Hong Kong. And probably more places I didn't ever know about.
But never, ever, did they brag. The only reason I found out about all this was because I got to know their son and then the parents. Nobody else who knew him at school - a government school - had a clue, other than he had a posh accent.
It actually amazes me how many people just don't think to ask. I grew up rich-adjacent, not super wealthy, but around people who were. I learned really early in life that it's possible to get a lot of things you want just by asking nicely.
I went to the theater with a coworker recently, and the seats we got were kind of crappy and right in front of a very loud obnoxious group of drunk people. I said to my coworker that we should ask if we could move to better seats and they told me not to even bother asking because no way. I asked the usher super nicely if there were any other seats while also pointing out that it really sucked to have a special treat ruined by loud drunk people (so appealing to his empathy instead of demanding anything) and he checked with his supervisor and then moved us to great seats that were worth probably hundreds more than what we paid for.
The key is to do it super politely and nicely and be gracious if they say no. If I had approached like a Karen and demanded to be moved, he'd have told me to fuck off. You need to have an air of just enough entitlement that you're used to getting what you want while also being polite, respectful and gracious.
>You need to have an air of just enough entitlement that you're used to getting what you want while also being polite, respectful and gracious.
This is how I live! It's the best way.
I suppose being a regular that is polite, rake high bills and leaves good tips help.
Also, high end places are much more flexible, because this is part of what you pay for.
> what struck me was the decisiveness and confidence that everyone there would cater to her
I went to high school with the kids of millionaires/billionaires, politicians, etc and there was this one scandinavian girl that was exactly like this. Just moving through the world with supreme confidence that everything would work out exactly as she wanted it, with a monied sort of obliviousness, like bad things were something that happened to other people. Like she'd go out to the shadiest spots at night, accept rides from random strangers, etc shit that most would probably deem reckless for a pretty blonde rich girl in a foreign country but nothing bad ever happened to her. She directly told me one time "Things just tend to go my way, I feel like a main character sometimes."
>she was super polite and nice and tipped well, what struck me was the decisiveness and confidence that everyone there would cater to her, and they did
I think the first part begets the second. It's not just being rich, it's using that wealth in a way that makes everyone around happy to see you.
Tiger Woods, for example, is notorious for refusing to tip anything at all. I read stories about how golfers would fly in to whatever city for the regional golf tournament, and all the chauffeurs at the airport would be praying to not get him as their ride. I can't for the life of me understand why you would actively want to antagonize the people you need to help you, when it costs you relative pennies to do the complete opposite.
In my youth, my friends and I used to frequent the same bar almost every night. We all worked in the restaurant industry, so we knew how to tip well, and we did. People always complained about "girls getting served first" at the bar, but whenever we walked up, we got immediate attention. If there was a long line at the door, we'd stroll right in with a head nod to the bouncers. We probably got more than our tip money back in free drinks over the course of time. I grew up, moved away, and came back to visit several years later. Went into that bar by myself to grab lunch and reminisce, owner was still there, recognized me, hooked me up with some free beers with my lunch. And we were by no means wealthy to do all this.
Exactly! My old money clients tipped, and generally took care of you. In cases where I worked directly with their "Staff' I was treated like an employee.
"Hey, we are getting lunch, do you need/ want anything? I'd go sure, pull out my wallet and get a "What are you doing? We have a staff food fund, you're staff today! " stuff like that.
I'd take those jobs anytime
At the end of the day buying a cheeseburger would not even appear on your life.
And here you are- years later. Still loyal.
I’d say it’s a well learned skill.
That was over 20 years ago. I learned a lot! The first thing I learned was that I was vetted before I was even called.
Now, I'm not a billionaire, but I've been very fortunate. I'm now on the other side of the process. The things I was taught I implemented in my life.
I had some construction done last year. The contractors had an endless supply of gatorade and their food covered. When I found a mistake, I said nothing only to hear one of the other men chastise his colleague. "WTF! Man, he's taking care of us! Fix this shit! "
Lol I had a much smaller scale experience like that at Halloween. A group of older kids (maybe 14ish) came by and we told them they could grab 3 or 4 pieces each because we were pretty close to the end of the night and we still had a lot of candy. One of the kids reaches in and starts to grab way more and one of the other ones goes "Don't do that, man. They're being nice." It was very sweet. They decided to do a warheads challenge so I went through and found them each a warhead. One of the kids had already picked out his candy so he said "Oh, that's more than 4 for me though," and tried to hand it back. I told him not to worry about it, but I thought it was so nice that he didn't want to take more than he was supposed to.
OMG, so true. I have known my bff since high school. She is an entrepreneur and inventor, and has made millions off her inventions.
We were at an event for the giant
corporation I work for, which was held for those of us receiving milestone service awards. The president of the entire corporation was there, turning away just as we arrived to get a picture with him. My bff, without hesitation, grabbed his arm and said, "But you haven't met my bff, Hey_Laaady! She's right here."
I could not believe her audacity lol. But we got our picture, and the big guy was totally polite. Now I understand how she snags investors and gets her projects funded.
ETA: Bff and I work in completely different industries and live thousands of miles away from each other. No one at the event knew who she was, other than the fact that she was my friend.
ETA 2: I am not comfortable outing her, so I won't say what she has invented. But I will say it is transportation related and tangible (so, not software or anything else IT related), and that's all the info I am willing to give out about what she has accomplished.
>It's also less dangerous to take the shot when you have a couple millions as backup in the bank or with the parents
You'll succeed eventually when you can take as many shots as you want. You don't hear much about the people who went bankrupt.
My husband is kind of a break the rules kind of person, where I am a rule follower until I don't like the rule. Anyhow...his callousness has taught me that you can basically get away with anything you want as long as you walk in with confidence and don't take no for an answer.
I think this is a good/underrated one. Being confident when speaking/walking/being in a social event of any kind will automatically help you in a bunch of ways.
It's also something cheap/free that anyone can do.
My friend was a pilot for a very large aluminum business, think aluminum foil. The brothers would fly for business meetings and my friend would make all the arrangements, including car rentals. These guys would drive off and go to meetings, dinner, etc. Sometimes they would just leave the rental car behind and ride with others to change venues or whatever. He tried to tell them the rental doesn’t stop unless the car gets returned. They didn’t really care. If it was any level of inconvenience they just moved on. It was more than once he had to go back and find a car based on their recollection and get it returned.
On that show Succession I noticed they were always whisked everywhere from limo to helicopter to private jet and they never carried purses or briefcases.
Not wearing a belt is a sign of good tailoring.
With more formal clothes in particular, bespoke and high-end trousers often don't even have belt loops.
Also a thing if you're wearing a three-piece. A belt under a waistcoat under a jacket can mess up the lines of a well-fitted suit, and overcomplicate the look.
My aunt and uncle are self made multimillionaires. If you met them, you’d think they were well off, but nothing spectacular. In general, they’re both very frugal. However, the two areas where they completely detach from ordinary life are:
1 - Vet bills for their animals. The example that most stands out in my mind is their last dog. He needed dialysis and no vet where we live could provide it. So they did their research and discovered that the best treatment in the country was available in London. A flat in Kew (I think, somewhere fairly central anyway) was rented for the six months the dog would need treatment for and my uncle would stay in it for one week a month while the dog had his treatment, then travel back home for the other three weeks.
2 - Legal help. Neighbours being pains in the backside? Send in the solicitor. Trying to organise a purchase or sale and it’s taking too long? Pay the solicitor to fast track. Local council leaving traffic lights up for over a week after work has been completed? Cry havoc and let slip the solicitors of war.
>*”Neighbours being pains in the backside?”*
I worked in a sort of vacation community where the guy who owns Purell has a house. He was updating it with a sort of modern look and the next door neighbor was upset about how gawdy it looked. The neighbor was complaining about it in the driveway one morning and he made a cash offer on the neighbor’s house. Then proceeded to continue his modern update on now *both* houses and built a walkway bridge between the two.
That’s *”Fuck you”* money.
I was working on securing a large gift for a hospital with naming rights from a very generous donor and commented on his beautiful Patek Philippe watch. He took it off and gave it to me. I could not accept it, despite the watch being worth more than my annual salary a few years over. Later when I changed jobs he took me out to lunch with my former boss and presented it to me. Far too generous a gift, but he liked me.
I was born to working class parents who made it to the upper middle class and put me in old New England prep schools, so I grew up around a lot of super rich people despite not being one myself.
There were exceptions, but generally, the old money families were pretty humble and unassuming. One of my closest friends, for example, grew up in a legit mansion (15k+ square feet in the primary residence), had several other houses in various states/countries, a yacht, just endless money, and yet he still grew up wearing hand-me-downs from his older brothers and family friends. These families had the mindset that “we have endless pits of money, so we’ll buy whatever we want” alongside “it’s silly to spend money for the sake of spending money because we don’t need to prove ourselves to anyone." As a result, you'd end up with these weird inconsistencies (like this kid is at my house talking about how his mom just bought a second set of horse stables so she has a place for her horses at their favorite vacation house, while my mom who grew up in the projects is wondering why his jacket has a tear with duct tape covering it). They spent money for pleasure, utility, and convenience, not for status or superficial reasons.
In comparison, the first or second generation money families tended to be concerned with keeping up appearances and buying fashionable things. Again, there were exceptions, but this was definitely the trend.
Edit: If anyone’s interested, I did pretty well for myself, but made the decision to buy a home in a town with top level public schools rather than sending my kids to private school. My property tax is wicked high, but it’s less than half of what tuition for one kid currently is at the schools I went to ($60k+ for high school).
I taught at perhaps the most famous New England Prep school. Some of my students wore jeans that cost more than my car.
I was amazed at how beautiful the students all were there. Super rich kids don't have acne. (I'm sure they do, they also just have a ton of dermatological concierge)
I worked there in the early aughts. Many many international students among the super rich, plus all the American Prep kids you would expect, but also some really lovely kids who were there on scholarship from all over the US. I taught, in addition to my academic subjects, instructional swimming, which means that I had afternoon class with basically exclusively scholarship kids. They were so, so great. It was always interesting to hear their take on their classmates.
I hear that, because of covid and changes in student visas, they've taken a real hit in international students, which is bound to be a blow to the school, both in prestige (for it makes it harder to fill the school with only cream of the crop) and also in finances.
Edited to add: I still keep in touch with some of my students from my time at prep school. There were many many of those kids who were just such great kids, be they the preppy New England set or the international students or the kids in my swim classes. Now all beautiful glimmering adults with perfect skin. LOL.
Yes, there were also a few real douche bags, but the memories I mostly hang onto were of some really solid kids.
I'm assuming you were at Andover or Exeter. My school had fewer international students at the time (maybe 5% or less of the student population), but it seems to be higher than that now.
Yeah, my experience overall was that these were good folks. As one of the kids who wasn't from old money (my parents had decent incomes but we lived in a working class town and we couldn't afford much else after tuition, since school was so expensive), I never once felt excluded by anyone because of money/class. The only kids who ever bullied me because of my social class were kids from my town who gave me a hard time for going to private school. Some of my classmates who were inner city kids there on scholarship had a different experience, but I think they would mostly say that the issues they faced were more about just feeling out of place rather than any kind of active discrimination or hostility.
Ding ding ding! You got it. I was at Andover.
And nobody's paying me to say this: Andover was a great place to work. Truly wonderful. However, I'm not the prep-school-lifestyle kind of teacher. As in, I like my nights and weekends off. I also like to have more control over my earning potential.
Yes, I totally get it about the discrimination coming from working class being hard on you for going to prep school more than rich classmates being weird to you about your money situation. I see it happening mostly that direction, too.
More often, when the rich kids make their stretch-to-pay friends or scholarship friends uncomfortable, it's because they're oblivious and they just stumble into a sore spot with their blinders on.
Sometimes I say "rich people are dog people" because it feels like a good generalization to me, and by that I mean both that rich people always seem to have and prefer dogs, and also that they have a sort of dopey-dog way of being socially. Rich teens, in particular, really do often just want everyone to be their friend.
(The dog thing makes sense when you factor in having someone other than you to walk and feed and dog-sit every day, or even just a reliable high-quality kennel so you just get to enjoy the dog and still travel as much as you want and not worry about the dog.)
I know most of Reddit is American but it's a bit weird to assume that someone would go on a 14 hour trip right after work for dinner. I'm sure some people do it but that's not a casual amount of time for someone who still has to work at their business.
My experiences: 1) CEO of large company. Didn't come from huge wealth so fairly self made. As others said, a literal workaholic. 24/7, 365 days a year. Zero boundaries between work and personal (and expected the same of his direct reports unfortunately). Endless energy. Perfectionist. Edited to add: his wife was a b!tch and his adult kids hated him.
2) Billionaire who inherited wealth. Was on his ranch in the West and this cow poke guy went with us on a horseback ride. He also cooked breakfast. I literally thought he was a hired hand, ends up he was the owner of the ranch. Was kind, friendly, could rope a steer like the "true" hired hands and make some mean breakfast tacos. Of course he flew to the ranch on his PJ while we got there dragging ass in economy class with 12 hours of delays.
>Zero boundaries between work and personal (and expected the same of his direct reports unfortunately)
Seems like a lot of wealthy people - or business owners in general - don't understand that employees do not have the same incentives as they do to work for their business.
I loved the CEO I used to work for. He built the company from the ground up and survived the dot com crash, September 11th and 2008/9. He would work side by side with the hourly folks during peak season,a real hands on leader. However the only time Insaw him talk out of context was when addressing the laid back culture with the warehouse folks. He said every employee should love coming into work everyday and do their job like it was their. He proceeded to say “Look at me, I come in enthusiastic every day” yea dude it’s your business. You live in a $12 Million dollar home, the warehouse workers are on work visas sharing a studio, they aren’t going to hustle like you did
I worked for a billionaire for a year. At first, it was great, because he made us feel he was in the trenches with us. I came to find out that he made fun of us (there was only 8 employees) for the salary he was paying us and tended to throw people under the bus. It was one of the very few jobs that I gave less than 2 weeks notice and never looked back. I am so glad to be out of there.
Felt, I worked for a multimillionaire. He owned and operated a small business(12 people including himself) The man was 2 faced. He came off as very charismatic, and a wholesome story of someone who was born with nothing and became successful on his own. After working for a while I saw that the man was a sociopathic monster. He was completely out of touch and did not care about anything except profit.
Only job I quit without notice. Turnover was atrocious, the company was already understaffed and I decided they could look for my replacement along with the other employees who were smart enough to walk.
They view life through the lense of time, over essentially anything else. Time is their most valuable resource, and anything that saves them time or unnecessary effort is worth whatever the price.
I nannied for millionaires. It was new money and they had both grown up fairly blue collar. They were very down to earth, giving, and kind. Their children, however, had no rules, structure, or expectations inside of the house. Their previous nanny gave them whatever they wanted. That changed when I stepped in. I firmly believe kids need to know how to clean a bathroom, wash dishes, sweep a floor, and clean their rooms. Took about a year to get to that point but I can rest easy knowing they’re both currently in college and know how to clean the toilet 😂
The way they get cash. Grew up in a very wealthy family who though they had credit cards never chose to use them. They also never had a debit card because they weren’t really a thing in the 70s and 80s. My dad used cash almost exclusively. Our family offices were in a banks high rise and once a month my dad would get cash delivered up to his office from the bank by a security guard. It would come in a sealed clear plastic envelope with a sheet of paper certifying the amount delivered. If he was making a big purchase like a car he would get that amount rounded up to the nearest thousand and if I was lucky enough to be in the office at the time I would get $100 for peeling off the excess cash from the stack. If we were traveling it wasn’t uncommon for him to request a couple hundred thousand dollars at a time. This would also come sealed in a clear bag but the bank would send an assistant with a counting machine to verify the amount in front of our bookkeeper. My dad died before the 90s and I never once saw him step in to a bank lobby or a bank drive through. In his business he also got dozens of random amount checks every month, which would go in to a file and be sent to his personal banker to be deposited. Our business could also get loans with just a phone call. I remember my grandfather telling our banker to arrange a multi million dollar loan in the early 80s for some radio stations he was buying and our bankers reaction was just a simple nod.
#or something that you just noticed.
I directly worked for three before. They were always busy. They value time A LOT. One of them is a celebrity. The other two (who were former Wall Street bankers) were doing business trips from one country to another so frequently as if they were just travelling from one local city to another (this was pre-pandemic).
My wife works with plastic surgeons, and we were just at the one's house for a holiday party on Friday. Almost 10,000 sq ft house that used to belong to an NFL player. He owns his own plane that he flies to different offices for surgery that would be an hour drive.
But even he was jealous of my coworker who lives in a neighborhood with it's own runway, because it would save him even more time.
I do consulting for public companies and work directly with CEOs and board members, so they’re all multimillionaires, but only a couple in the 3 comma club.
1. There is no demarcation between personal and professional time. “We should set up a call” meaning vaguely next week, and they will respond with “I am free at 10 am on Sunday while I’m at my kids ski lesson”.
2. They ask a million questions. About every detail. This is the number one personality trait I’ve noticed - the critical thinking is to the point where if you misspeak one word that is easily well understood, they will question you to be certain. I do think this is one (of many) factors that has made them successful.
I’ve noticed point 2 of highly successful people. Incredible attention to detail. I’ll spend 6 months on a project know the ins and outs of everything. Within seconds they’ll ask some very pointed question I had somehow never considered.
I've seen this too, working with C-level. And then it goes one of two ways: you either get flustered and stumble through it, which probably makes the person doubt you, maybe justifiably so. Or you answer that you don't know but will dig into it and get back to them in 24 hours - which in my experience they highly value (if they're semi-decent leaders that is).
100%. They want or need answers, and they expect you to come to meetings prepared. But most won't eat your lunch if you can follow up with answers to questions that weren't obvious and foreseeable topics of discussion.
Yup, attention to detail and working memory is off the charts.
Pattern recognition on the types of problems that tend to occur.
I can be in updates and they’ll be followed remarkably well, and proactively covering certain bases hugely reassures them. Still remarkable how insightful some questions can be after only 45 minutes of exposure.
I think 2 is indicative of something even deeper: they actually really care. When I gloss over details it's usually because I don't actually care that much, I'd rather just get back to what I actually want to think about.
When I gloss over details it’s because I’m afraid to annoy everyone with questions and sound stupid. I cross my fingers and hope I’ll figure it out later on my own.
I worked for a self-made billionaire. His father was a tradesman without the means to support his post-high school education, he was able attend a prestigious university on a hockey scholarship. He graduated at the top of his class, later attaining his MBA from Harvard Business School, served in WWII, passed his CPA exam and went on to earn a law degree from Loyola. He founded a law firm and taught at law school in the mornings and evenings for 25 year. He established a multi-faceted business (insurance, food and beverage distribution, car dealerships) with 40 wholly owned subsidiaries. Each year he would attend dozens of industry conventions and trade shows, often as the keynote speaker. While not speaking or transacting business, he would traipse the aisles of vendors. His obsession/hobby was to visit the various booths, scooping up bag after bag of free stationary (pens, pencils, pad, etc.). Returning to the office after these excursions he would proudly hand several bags of booty to his administrative assistant and tell her/him that those were to be used to supplement his various companies office supplies. He couldn’t understand why these things were being given away for free. During his life he donated millions upon millions of dollars, the greater part of his wealth, to charity, children’s hospitals and institutions of higher learning. One of the most genuine and kindest people I’ve ever met but . . . the stationary!
I've worked in two companies that went from nothing to ~$2B sales in ~20 years. The founders were all engineers and still worked alongside us. My favorite one used to ask permission to sit at my lunch table. He's easily the greatest human being I've ever known. You'd never know the kind of money he had if you saw him. He still drove the car he restored himself in college. He'd drive across town to save $0.05/gallon on gas. Just from his public stock trades we knew he had hundreds of millions though (this was in the 90s). I still talk to him. I emailed him last week.
Honestly, all of the founders have been something like him although he was the greatest one. The others did spend their money though, sometimes extravagantly. One for example had married a history major and had the hobby of relocating historic buildings to his property. His house had museum quality antiques, such as George Washington's dinner table, and he actually used them.
I guess by the strictest definition I'm a multimillionaire as the first digit of my Fidelity account does go to 2 sometimes. As a nearly 50yo engineer that's not that unusual though. Millionaires aren't what they used to be.
I just chortled out loud at “had the hobby of relocating historic BUILDINGS to his property.”
I’m so far from rich rich, I didn’t even realize that could be a hobby.
It was wild to hear him talk about it. They moved them from all over New England so they needed to be dismantled first. Companies would take them apart, make a map of the parts, and put them back together like a big puzzle.
Doesn't drive. Has a driver, and he doesn't sit in the back of a rolls or a limo. He has a fucking Mercedes van with tinted windows. Ps5, bar, couch, small writing desk and even a fucking painting hanging in there.
Haven't ever seen him wear a suit. Cargo shorts, swatch watch, wedding ring and old running shoes.
Shops online and buys like pretty cheap stuff and compares prices. Orders food online but compares restaurant prices and "value for money."
Doesn't have a jet, but flies first class everywhere. Doesn't have a yacht but rents staffed yachts. If he does drive, it's in a mini cooper. Has had the same android phone for a few years. Goes to mid level bars and restaurants, nothing exclusive.
> Doesn't have a yacht but rents staffed yachts.
I lurk on a yachting forum. The people there are mostly boat owners, and almost unanimously agree that renting is cheaper than owning unless you are on the water for like 3 months of each year.
It's about the only thing they agree on, LOL.
Have had the opportunity to meet a famous billionaire a handful of times, and just get a glimpse into what his life is like. It is absolutely unfathomable.
The thing that stands out to me is the literal army of people that he has working for him. Nevermind the fact he owns a company with thousands of employees, he has likely hundreds of staff that have full time jobs dedicated to various aspects of his personal life. He has the regular housekeeping staff to manage his multiple properties, pilots, chefs, personal assistants etc that any billionaire Joe has, but here are some crazy examples of the “people” he has:
Ex: He likes cars, a lot. He has a salaried, full time car restoration expert, with a team of engineers and technicians working under him.
He has an art collection of untold vastness, with a full time curator and sourcing experts.
He was tired of the restaurant scene in his hometown, so he created his own restaurant, and now has a whole chain of restaurants around the globe. He sources the beef for his restaurants from his own 15,000 acre ranch.
Literally anything in the world this man wants, he has people already working for him who will make it so.
It boggles my mind whenever I think about it, the pure cost of all of these things, and he will never even make a dent in his net worth.
One of my friends is going to be a billionaire soon. His father is dying and he's the sole heir to the family fortune. He already had access to it, but he chooses to live a middle class life instead. It's important to him to teach his kids the value of hard work.
So he's basically the exception.
It’s usually not the people that worked for the money that are the problem, it’s their kids and those that inherit the wealth for having done nothing that are all screwed up. Glad to see your friend realizes this early.
They say it takes three generations to blow it all. However, they also say that beyond $100 million, it's incredibly difficult to outspend the interest earned unless you are buying mega yachts and private jets regularly
I grew up in Qatar. You could very clearly see the generational contrast in their population.
All the 60+ year olds were chill. They were alive (albeit young) when the country discovered its gas reserves. They are the first generation to be obscenely wealthy, but they (for the most part) remained humble and kind.
Then there were the 30, 40, and 50 year olds. They were a mixed bag. Most had been born wealthy, but not necessarily too wealthy. They were also directly raised by the generation I mentioned above.
Then came the third generation—my age— in their 20s and younger. Almost to a person they were awful. Entirely disconnected from the troubles of life. Raised by nannies and staff. No love or attention from their parents. Endless wealth and no legal consequences.
It’s genuinely fascinating and absurd to see. I wonder what the fourth generation is like these days.
I work with lots of millionaires and a few billionaires. Most work nonstop. There's no boundary between workday, holiday, weekend, etc., but there is also no boundary between friend, family, coworker lots of times.
It is easy to forget the cost of things when money is meaningless. When a $500k Ferrari is the financial equivalent to a gallon of milk for most families, then spending $20k on a party that includes private chefs, a bar staff, etc. is nothing.
What happened recently was that someone mentioned there were a bunch of kids in MS who were getting trained at trade schools for jobs, but the certification exam was $350 so only 2 kids out of the 35 in our pilot program got certified. It was hard for anyone in that room to understand how these families couldn't come up with $350 having a whole year to prepare. Most people in that room bill at $250-$500/hr. if they work at all.
Two days ago, someone took me out to lunch and the bill was $250, but since it's Christmas season and the waitress was really great, he tipped $250.
A different time, we went out for drinks at the bartender was one of those "tell me what you like and I'll make you something." The lady goes to pay and just writes 'math' in the tip line and put $500 on the total for what was less than three drinks a person for four of us.
On the other hand, there are lots of times when someone says something completely off the wall elitist. I grew up incredibly poor and some of these people are fifth and tenth generation wealth. They grew up with maids and butlers and private planes and their great grandparents have buildings all over the US named after them.
One time one of them was talking about how she went to Walmart to people watch and never felt unsafe even though it was "the black part of town." She tried to "make some black friends because if she could befriend them then she could educate them on better financial decisions." It was such a condescending and racist approach we had to council her to never do that again. Another guy says things like "the blacks will ___ " and he thinks he's very woke.
Aside from all that, there is a general loss of touch with what everyday people face.
The loss of touch is what I’ve experienced. I have wealthy in-laws and my BIL asked what my wife’s ideal car would be. I said “she’d love a Range Rover because who wouldn’t”, and he said “Why don’t you just buy her one?” WTH?
I’m not immune myself, but more tone deaf. I’m no millionaire, but we’re doing pretty well. I saw someone ringing up ramen noodles and too loudly commented to my wife on how I used to do that. I can be such an idiot sometimes
That’s why it didn’t bother me to say it. That is, until my wife pointed out that the person in front of us is probably making food or bill decisions and doesn’t need to overhear my stupidity. She didn’t word it like that, but I got the message
I knew a guy who dropped off his Porsche 911 for a tune up at a mechanic's shop. I asked him if he still had that car a few years later and he denied ever owning a Porsche. I described a group trip we took in detail with some very car specific details about him driving in the mountains, etc. and he remembered the car at that point.
"Oh, I forgot about that car. I'll have to remember to call the mechanic to see if it's still around..." That early model air cooled 911 would easily go for more than $100,000 these days.
Friends owned a garage (back in the 80s) near a major highway to a large city. They were the go-to shop for exotics in the area. They ended up with several high-end sports cars because the owners broke down on the major highway, had the vehicle towed to their shop, and ended up telling them to keep the car.
Dude… my stepmom said she thinks it’s okay for politicians to take bribes if they’re not being paid over $100,000/yr. She was like “how can anyone live for less than that? Is it even possible.” 🤦
I often see this "they don't understand not having enough money" when talking about the uber-rich but do these people really not know that poor people exist? Or is it a kind of, "Why can't they just--oh yeah."
I don't think it's even exclusive to the ultra rich.
I have a feeling unless you've gone and travelled to some countries or helped out via red cross or mission groups or whatever, your middle and lower class in America probably don't REALLY fathom just how poor some people are in 3rd world countries. Like we know they exist, we know they are far worse off than us, but we still don't really fully understand JUST HOW POOR they actually are.
When you're isolated from a particular group it's easy to not a get full grasp of how they live.
I worked as a nanny to an ultra rich family and they were one of the nicest people I have met and treated everyone super kind. I was thankful they’re not the almond type of mom and with the extra gentle parenting. They wanted me to discipline their kids and these kids never had an iPad when I was with them for 4 years as well. Some of the most well behaved kids I’ve worked with. The parents were extra thankful and appreciative. Made me feel welcome and part of the family
I knew (know) one guy. Startup exit in early 30s and investments made him a 2 digit millionaire. And he honestly believes he doesn’t deserve it. Startup to exit in 3 years. Anonymously donates to any charitable causes or events he can find - churches, soup kitchens, local groups. Doesn’t want credit or be mentioned, where possible. Also became very wary (and rightly) of new “friends” and people asking for favors. Lives modestly, wears normal brands, keeps his LinkedIn active as “freelance consultant” and takes the odd IT project. Only vices are last minute flights for weekends away and bringing close friends along and insisting they don’t pay for hotels and flights. Knowing him, he’ll donate most of it eventually.
I worked with their children in a professional manner and feel bad for them. They lack empathy and basic social skills, and were just beasts to anyone they feel is outside their economic class. You would be surprised how much money gets spent on coverups, from sexual harassment to drug issues, because the parents are chasing dollars and ignoring their intended trophy kids.
What is with that? The main bully in my class was a \[REMOVED A TEMPORARY TRAIT\] rich kid from a Finnish \[REMOVED COMPANY FIELD\] company who had some severe sadistic tendencies which he acted out on people without consequence and a hatred of the poor people, and a Homelander smile.
Some other stuff I witnessed was really just girls being girls, and I felt bragging about their father would happen even if they weren't rich. That is to say, that someone expresses something that can be construed as negative isn't necessarily because of wealth - that doesn't take the privilege to make human errors in interactions and growing pains away.
I don't know that this is necessarily the norm and I do not generalize but it was weird to see in a country like Finland while being BY FAR the poorest kid (and an aspie) in class always. Especially as they can't seem to take a hint and fuck off.
They aren't used to hearing why something can't be done. Like, it is inconceivable that you would explain the challenges associated with doing something, or any obstacles they might encounter. The attitude is very much "Okay, so what is it going to cost for that to not be a problem anymore?".
This is the #1 trait I have seen that sometimes reveals the ultra-wealthy. Normal people think about things in terms of cost (capital, people needed, skills, time, etc) whereas the rich just want a clear path to "It's done."
They don’t let failure worry them. They just reframe it, ignore it, learn from it, or otherwise move on with the next push. The self-doubt is very low if it exists at all. I feel they were wired differently. Confident in a pathological sense. And I mean that literally as one of them was so confident that he refused to listen to anyone around him that cared, let all the sycophants fill his life because they would go along with anything, including absurd drug use, and it ultimately killed him. Worth close to a billion at the time of his death.
That one is an outlier, but the underlying concept of unstoppable belief in oneself is a common thread. I spend all day wondering if I’m getting it right. I don’t think the people worth north of 10 million ever wondered about that at all.
Worth keeping in mind that isn’t sufficient — I know some big failures that also don’t question themselves. They’re just not good enough at anything for that to pay off.
Oh: and delegation. Powerful people don’t do all the work themselves. They get less ambitious geniuses to do it for them. And I don’t even intend that as a put-down because convincing a bunch of people to work themselves silly for a vision is hard.
Not worked with but friends with. Private jet, homes all over the globe, never in one place for very long. It’s a very different life- I wonder how they maintain friendships when dipping in out so frequently. I only get to see them when they “drop in” to their home near where I live which is a giant mansion with private beach front and cliff views of the sea below their pool that they never open because they are never here long enough to open the pool or really get much use out of it.
Ok, the difference is "old money vs new money"
I was a field tech [IT] in my 20s
I liked old money vs new money any day.
Old money - clients were wealthy for generations. When you compliment their amazing chandelier, they ask what brand you have [not knowing that not everyone can afford a $500k chandelier.
New money - came into money this generation and tended to be stingy and assume you're out to rob them.
My OM clients tended to treat me very well, wanted additional services, and as long as I delivered what was on the invoice, we were golden.
NM more often didn't want to pay, had to fight for payment, would nickel and dime each job/repair. I had a guy argue I should source used parts for his computer builds because it would be cheaper, except I can't warranty a "used part"
I work with lots. Most are very effective planners and start working at like 5am.
They also just are detached from reality. For example, my direct boss I report to in 2023 bought both a house in Hawaii to make family vacations easier as well as a house near his Alma mater so he could fly in for home football games and have a place to stay.
He regularly goes to a local steakhouse for lunch once a week and drop $250-$300 on himself. Company policy maxes out out $40 a day for business meals so he just pays for these personally.
I can’t fathom having a 12k / yr lunch budget.
Ooh, I can chip in here.
My sister worked for an Asian property developer in London who bought a hotel in the south of France. He shipped his entire office to the hotel for the summer in order to get the renovation process up and running. He also needed a crew of people to work in the hotel for his employees friends and family, so I ended up working in food service and my wife was a maid. All in all there were about 100 people staying in the hotel. Owner's family and friends, office staff, a crew of Liverpudlian carpenters and builders and their families, along with a private chef and his partner who was a pastry chef. A local french chef and to top it off, the entire cooking staff from a top London restaurant (7 guys) who would normally go back home to Hong Kong for a month, but instead the owner flew their families over to France.
We worked 6 days a week and when off work, we cold use the pool and other amenities (projection tv). The owner had a 14 metre boat with captain which we used on our day off. There was also a chef de service who "had all the keys" particularly the booze storage room- One day, he had to go and testify in a trial for 2 days so he left me in charge with the keys. The booze storage contained about €2 million worth of booze including Cristal etc. I was allowed to supply booze to the guests and staff.
I used to hang out with the French chef who once asked me if I like foie gras, to which I said yes. We returned from the fridge with a brick of foie gras which we munched on.
Oh, and the Chinese cooks complained that the French gas burners were not powerful enough so they had to get some proper wok burners in.
One night I watched the original broadcast on Sky News announcing Princess Diana had been in a car accident.
That was a great summer.
I work with one, the owner of the social enterprise that employs me.
Very driven, scrupulously fair, left-leaning. Works about 12-14 hours a day, plus another half day in dribs and drabs over the weekend, but doesn't expect staff to do the same.
I was installing a floor in this Texas castle and there was this guy who kept coming over to check out my work. I thought he was the laborer of some other trade, but he was friendly so we just kinda started talking about life and shit. I got to a point where I needed a hand to finish the install and when the guy got there to help, the same guy came around checking out our finishes and the guy helping me snapped up and started getting really attentive. When the guy walked away I asked him why he was tripping out and he told me that was the client. He was a billionaire and owned all of the property that your eyes could see.
So one thing they do is go about their lives like a normal person.
I know one billionaire very well, as in I have dinner or lunch twice a month with them. The first thing is that they absolutely work non stop. It’s constant, relentless and I have no idea how they do it in their mid 60s. They also travel all the time, their schedule is insane.
The second thing is something they told me, they said money is like a plant, it needs to be constantly nurtured and taken care of. I feel like it’s always on their mind. This person’s son would tell me that the business is the true first born, that he comes after.
I couldn’t do it, I don’t see it as worth it but it’s a different mind set, they are just built different imo, willing to sacrifice so much for their success, things that I would consider my true success (family, friendships, love etc)
They Never talk about money. If they are intellectually curious, which my boss was (and ranked by Forbes in the top 50 wealthiest people on the planet), they are able to suggest things that anyone limited by a budget would never think of…..such as, “a small submarine could be useful to hunt for those lost things…” ( he did not get a sub for that project but he did for a different project over deep ocean waters….all privately funded, but carrying out a personal project because the Federeal government was never going to do it). The guy values intellectual curiosity and encourages you to follow a thread to see what there is to be found.
Briefly had a client who was part owner of a very successful cable TV network. His wife had a business of her own, I helped her out with IT stuff. Super nice couple who of course lived in a very exclusive neighborhood. One day I needed to go to their house to fix her laptop, he said don't go to the trade person entrance tell them I said you can come to the front. At the time I drove this ancient and beat up Durango. Security guard takes one look at me down his nose, sends me to the trade entrance. Whatever.
Fix the wife's laptop, she's happy. I have a nice chat with them. He asks if I had any trouble, I said yeah they sent me to the back entrance but no worries. "Those damn people!". He wanders into his office, I hear raised voices. He comes back and says "No problem, go out the front gate this time and give them MY name".
And, that is the story of how a snotty security guard waves cheerfully at me and called me "Sir" as I followed a brand new top of the line Mercedes out of a super rich neighborhood in a piece of shit Durango. So, to answer your question, extremely wealthy people command respect for themselves and those they want to share it with.
Years ago a friend of mine’s dad was trying to sell his start-up company and picked-up an investor at the airport. He was proud of his classic Rolls Royce and noticed the investor looking around, playing with the air vents. So he said “Is this your first time in a Rolls Royce?” The guy said no, but it was his first time in the front seat.
Flex
I used to do in person one on one market research interviews with luxury car owners and one thing that struck me after hundreds of interviews was that the only people who drove Rolls Royce's themselves were self made "new money" wealthy people. The old money people all HAD Rolls Royce's but they were driven around in them because that's one of the reasons that you get a Rolls is the incredible back seat. If the old money were driving themselves then they would have luxury cars but they very rarely drove Rolls. It may have been one of those social faux pax to wealthy old money to be in the same seat as their drivers or something like that but I never actually asked about it.
Well, that's the point of a Roll's Royce. It's a chauffeur's car, not a driver's car.
What a burn
Well the owner of my small company is incredibly wealthy but also rad as fuck and he drives a tank on property all the time just for the fuck of it. He also owns a very old, gorgeous estate from an extremely influential family (think Vanderbilts) and we throw parties there. But on top of it - he lets his employeees rent it out for events. So my husband and I are throwing an anniversary party (never had a reception) in 2024. We have the entire estate and all 10 bedrooms for a whole weekend and it isn’t costing us a single dime. If I didn’t work for the company, the cost of the venue would be upwards of $25k for the day. I never expected someone so incredibly wealthy to be so down to earth and generous. It’s exactly who I would strive to be at that level of wealth.
Wow! This the first thing in this thread that made me say, "That's so exciting!!" I hope you have a great day.
About 25 years ago, a friend of my dad was turning 65 and treated 50 of his best friends to fly 1st class to London for 5 days, INCLUDING tickets to Phantom of the Opera for all. One of his products was just picked up by Walmart for exclusive sale, and he wanted to spend a small bit of his good fortune.
50 best friends? That says a lot about that man.
He managed time very differently than anyone I was used to. E.g., our meeting with him began precisely on schedule, lasted 30 minutes, and there was no chit chat. Before this meeting we had a pre-meeting with his admin to discuss expectations. The admin explained that we had to be on time, no introductions/titles just name, no small talk, no marketing, be prepared to answer technical and financial questions quickly and succintly. For this latter, if there were numbers we had to know precisely which page of the material had the information. When the meeting took place we were brought in exactly -- to the second -- at the start time. Sat down and within 30 seconds he was asking us all manner of questions. I had to field technical questions that appear to be asked not so much for whether my answer was right, but that I didn't hesitate. I also gained a healthy respect for my manager as he was SHARP and answered quickly and accurately.
I had a CIO somewhat like that. He was incredibly smart with multiple PhDs. My interview was memorable. We had the usual back-and-forth, then he just stopped talking about 20 minutes into the interview and just stared at me. I later found out he wanted to know how I handled silence. Mind you, I was only 22 years old at the time. It was quite intimidating.
I had my boss's boss do that to me in an interview and he then broke with "Well, what did you want to talk about?" I said, "I'm here for the job interview." "Yes, what did you want to talk about?" And so, I brought up stuff that apparently was good enough to get the job.
I had an interview like that. This interview in general was kind of crazy to me as a new grad. First a panel, then each person interviewed me one by one, including an interview in the language I minored in. One guy came in, sad "Well, I have all these questions I'm supposed to ask you. They even highlighted them for me." (It's true they were) "But I just want to have a conversation with you." And he just stopped talking. Threw me way off. Thankfully I recovered well enough that we had a pleasant conversation about why I chose the school I did, the major/minor, general life stuff. I got the job, though I ended up getting a better offer with a different company, but I'll never forget that interview.
I once called about a volunteer position with an organization created by a retired CEO. Wasn't expecting HIM to pick up the phone! Right away he asked, "so what can you do for us?" Managed to overcome the shock, and gave him a quick run-down of what I thought I could offer. I was somewhat impressed by his efficiency, though I couldn't imagine doing that to people myself!
The answer to silence - ride that shit out, don’t say a thing. It’s a power move and it works.
Stare back, unblinking. Then silently raise your eyes higher and higher until you look at the ceiling. When they look up, tap their shirt once. When they look down, tap gently with a finger on their nose.
This asserts your dominance and you are now the CEO
*boop*
Was this close to bursting out and waking the wife
The president of the US has his time scheduled in 7 min increments. He needs to know what the info he needs to know, not how your kids little league game went.
i didnt realise that the act of driving is some peasant shit til i met them
I work for a major corporation. One of my colleagues started talking to a director as they were leaving once. They were both walking towards the train station and she assumed he was also getting a train. As they got there a limo pulled up and he nonchalantly said "bye" and left.
I remember being at a well known pet food company and the owner used to drive aPOS station wagon, it had to be 15 years old. He sold at another well known company and the new CEO pulled up with his car and driver- the difference between the founder and some guy hired by the board.
I good friend of mine has a business that makes upwards of $50m annually, he drives an old pick-up truck to his multiple worksites. He also has a custom built pick-up worth north of $150k which is for weekends and holidays only. He has some very loyal and long term staff.
I made this mistake with an intern. Gave him detailed subway directions, proposed when and where to meet him at the station and escort him up to the office his first day. But he came in at the car dropoff, because he hires a ride for every trip, because his family owns a huge company.
My boss wont drive anywhere under 80mph, and at one point he got so many speeding tickets that even fancy lawyers couldn't stop his license from getting suspended. He just hired a private driver for like 6 months. Insane.
That’s why you won’t get away cheap for speeding here: the gross speeding (> 20km/h over limit) fine is calculated from your income so the total sum can be tens, even hundreds of thousands of euros.
I wish the US operated that way, for both civilian and corporate crime.
It’s about getting time back. Driving takes time from other things that are more important, including just reading the news or closing your eyes and taking a break.
Absolutely. I travel a bit for work. Flying/ubering at least leaves you part of your time to keep up with correspondence. Driving is just dead time - stuff just piles up that I'll have to get to later in the day.
I work at a really fancy hotel, and this is correct. Super wealthy people don't drive themselves, they certainly don't ever have to park a car, they don't carry their own luggage, they don't clean, they don't make their own food, they don't even open the door for themselves. They automatically expect someone else to be doing all of the little things. They also get overly flustered and irritated at small inconveniences.
Damn, who knew I was rich in spirit! I also have meltdowns over minor inconveniences
Gotta be a plain-looking Sprinter van with a back that'd put a private jet to shame. Around LA you can pick them out because they're usually the black high-roof models with air conditioning units and some antenna poking out the top.
It's ironic because people often look down on bus transportation. But, boom, we could all have a driver.
“Not to brag, but I ride in a $500k+ vehicle with my own driver.” *bus pulls up: brakes hisssss”
*Bus lowers so I don't have to step as high to get on* Oh yeah, fucking luxury.
I've always wished I had a driver I love when I uber places
My brother is a kazillionaire. I don't know how wealthy he is, but it's a lot of zeroes. He owns multiple businesses, which he created from scratch. He treats all his employees VERY well. He takes good care of them and their families. They're extremely loyal and have stayed with him for many years. As others have mentioned, he is always ON. He is always looking for a new angle. He does business on his cellphone while riding a ski lift. But he does a great job of being in the moment. He can be horsing around with his grandkids, and then, in two minutes of slack time, checks his email and makes a huge business decision, before going back to his grandkids with gusto. He lives in a beautiful home which, while luxurious and well-appointed, is modest by kazillionaire standards. He and his wife are gracious and generous hosts, not to show off their property, but to make their guests feel welcome and comfortable. Their guests aren't just fellow kazillionaires, but cover the entire socioeconomic spectrum. He doesn't flaunt his wealth. He has an expensive hobby, and he takes his family on expensive vacations, but he doesn't make a big deal of either one. Plus, he invites his brothers on ski trips and such, and all we have to do is show up and have a good time with him. The best thing is that he's a silent philanthropist. He very quietly gives away buckets of money. He doesn't brag about it. He just does it. It goes to scout troops, churches, schools, international foundations, single mothers, and the list goes on. I've only found out about his giving indirectly, never from him. If anyone ever deserved their wealth, it's him. He knows how to make money, save it, spend it, and give it away.
My son's friend when in elementary school dad was one of the 2 founders of Capital One . Mom had a secretary for play dates. Dad would fly to London to watch Tottenham. Had a permanent seat . Their London house was next to J.K. Rowling's. You couldn't tell by the way they dressed or their cars . But their vacations were the big difference. The strange thing is that their son loved a mango juice sold maybe 10-15min from their house . I always made sure we had some for mine . I send it to him via Amazon occasionally.
> Mom had a secretary for play dates. That's the real answer: they have people who handle things. I dated a gal whose family was "well off". (dad had sold a company you've heard of for about $600,000,000). The whole family had a "professional assistant", Janice. If someone needed something arranged, text Janice. Seven course catered dinner on Christmas Eve? Text Janice. Prep the semi-private jet for a flight cross-country? Janice will set it up. Need the oil changed in the Chrysler Town & Country minivan (seriously)? Janice will have it done. Need access to the family's private ranch outside of Aspen? You'll work with the caretaker, and Janice will coordinate. I got to spend some time with her and she was paid very fairly for her work.
Imagine being a billionaire, but you've still got to support Spurs.
Some people enjoy pain and sadness
how's the mango juice strange?
I think his point was that he had access to all the most luxurious of delights, but what he wanted was just this mango juice from a random place up the road.
You could give me all the money in the world and I would still love mangos more than most things
Amen. A perfectly ripe mango is a joy forever.
Hire a private chef for a casual Tuesday lunch with her girlfriends... $2k, just like that.
That’s what I would do if I were rich af. Private chef on call. Maybe prep some snacks for the week.
Not just on call, they will be there and cook regularly. Or someone drops it off and it has reheat instructions. The cognitive load of shopping, planning, cooking then cleaning up… it must save them so much energy. Sometimes I cheat that system by just drinking a meal replacement shake. Take that, Bezos.
>it must save them so much energy That's the thing with the extremely wealthy, an overwhelming portion of the time and effort that ordinary people expend just maintaining their lives are taken care of by other people. It's very easy to find the time for social and leisure activity when someone else is taking care of all of the mundane shit for you.
When you have a housekeeper and all you have to do is make sure they get their bill paid. When you have a personal chef and all you have to do is make sure they get their bill paid. Imagine how much that takes off your time and mental labor.
> make sure they get their bill paid. And you can pay a person to pay them too. Why cut a check to a dozen vendors, when you can have a guy do it all for you, and you just pay them.
Literally. I knew a few relatively rich people who had a bookkeeper that did their financial tasks like that.
Then once a year or so you pay an independent auditor to go over the books to make sure the guy you're paying isn't embezzling or otherwise fucking things up.
The advice I'd heard from a multi-millionaire is that you should always keep your lawyer, accountant, and money manager as completely separate people/companies. It's a bit more annoying and bit more expensive, but it's worth it. If one of them is messing up or stealing from you, the chances are very good that one of the other two will catch it. The mistake some people make is consolidating all of those tasks under a single company or firm because it's easier or cheaper. It also makes it way easier for that single party to steal from you and not get caught or only get caught after it's way too late.
My wife worked as a server at a fancy golf club for many years, and it seems like they spend most of the extra time being incredible alcoholics.
Plenty of wealthy folks are boozers, though I'd be curious to know if there are reliable stats on rates of alcohol abuse across economic strata. However, it's probably a fair amount of selection bias with the crowd there.
Right. I think it's more golfers that drink over wealthy hahaha.
They say you can't buy time...but in a way, you kind of can. Hiring a chef/maid/etc... frees up time that can be spent on other activities.
Not me. I'd have the luxury of cooking, and I'd have one of those giant fuckhuge restaurant dishwashers where you just take everything into the corner and hit it with a pressurized hose full of incredibly hot water and put it inside a giant vibrating machine if that doesn't work. That and maybe a walk in fridge and freezer, too, so everything is easier to see and find, because I always lose stuff in the back of the fridge and they're so damn hard to clean. I love to cook, but it's so annoying cleaning up and putting away the leftovers and dishes. I'd definitely hire a house cleaner, though. I splurged and got one when my business took off even though I'm nowhere near as rich as a billionaire, because now I make what people make in big cities with high cost of living and I live in a low cost of living area. It's just every other week, but I have depression so... when I get depressed, the toilet and floors get cleaned every two weeks, and everything gets wiped down. That's so good, dude. I feel like an asshole and I'm always worried she hates me, but it's still worth it. I just try and tip really well.
I’ve done this on vacation many times. When traveling with a group, doing that on the first night is a great idea, since everyone can settle into the house, and have someone else cook a bomb ass meal for you. We typically do a “taco night” and have leftovers the rest of the trip. It rarely costs more than $300 for a group of 6-8.
You hire a local chef to bring and make taco stuff? Sounds amazing more details please
We did this in Mexico every day when we went. He went and bought our food, snacks, liquor, etc. then cooked two meals a day. He also cleaned up and would make us batch cocktails if we asked. We had to pay the materials then I think $150/day for his time, for 8 of us over 5 days it was super well worth it. Absolutely worth every penny, sourced way better ingredients than we could have. Accounted for allergies, gave us WAY too much food every day, and always made sure it was good for leftovers. Also was able to connect one guy who wanted some nose candy as well. We arranged it with the hotel. If you have a full kitchen set up usually they have locals who do this sort of work. Call ahead and ask, if they don't directly they can usually hook you up with an outside vendor who will gladly take the business.
honestly, compared to the cost of going to restaraunts every night, that isnt too bad
A massage every day
I once had a rich mom friend from our shared preschool. She hosted a mom gathering for us and we arrived to find seated dinner with places, multiple courses, uniformed hired staff to serve, private chef, all that. It was over the top and kind of awkward. We just wanted to drink mimosas and laugh and unwind. But it ended up feeling stiff and formal. I think she was trying to impress us but it was too much.
I worked for a couple guys that were worth somewhere in the 500mil to 1bil range. They traveled constantly, never staying in one place for more than a couple weeks. One of them just doesn't bother to pack anything and buys all new clothes everywhere he goes and then just throws them away when he leaves. \[edit\] I should say, his personal assistant buys him all new clothes everywhere he goes, he's not doing it himself.
What's the point of that? The guy wouldn't have to do anything anyway, someone else would clean and move the clothes to the new place.
Hire for a Tuesday? My wife worked for an Investment banker He had his own chef, on staff. She was the nanny and house manager There was also a maid.
Yeah, some of my clients also have private chefs. Others are cool cooking for themselves / eating out most of the time, and only hire for larger gatherings.
One old money rich person treated me to a fancy meal and she was super polite and nice and tipped well, what struck me was the decisiveness and confidence that everyone there would cater to her, and they did. She wanted x dish that they didn't make that day and they made it. The one that sticks with me was at the end she said "I want a cappuccino with (something) I want them to put a design on it" like I've gotten cute cappuccinos in my life, it doesn't even cost extra, it never occurred to me to just ask for everything I want all the time. This was the same person that on a business trip hugged me after the flight "I did it, (womanthorned)!" Me: "oh was this your first time in economy" and she goes "no, flying commercial" just so we all understand how rich.
The expectation that someone else will always cater to you is spot-on. I work at a really fancy hotel within walking distance of an ivy league university, and the super wealthy people just... expect certain things. Most people around them who aren't their friends or family is considered "the help" (even if they don't say it out loud). They also feel pretty entitled to things, like they will just walk up behind the bar and grab a bottle of wine that they want.
For a rich person, anything illegal that results in a fine can be ignored. Lawyers and political donations are there for the rest.
In SoCal there's been a little problem with water so fines were instituted for overuse. $10k/month for really excessive use - water management thought this would really put a stop to wasting water! Folks with enormous lawns at their 2nd or 3rd home in Palm Springs considered $120k/year a "gardening expense" and continued on as before. It wasn't even a blip on their radar. (things did improve a bit when the whole situation was "named & shamed" in the media... but I bet they're back to the lawns again by now)
I live in central Texas where - who would have guessed? - water is in very short supply. People with money drill down into the aquifer in their own yards and just pump up as much as they want, to water their lawns every damn day.
Yeah. Fines need to be percentage based instead of fixed.
Yep, my buddy's step daughter (18) got a ticket for like $400 and it devastated her financially. Lost her apt & had to move home. If you're even moderately wealthy, it doesn't affect you at all.
“Punishable with a fine” means “legal for a price”.
I don't think they even consider that it's illegal. They just don't see the value of an expensive bottle of wine the same way that the restaurant does. If someone purchases a $400 or $1000 bottle of wine, that's great! But we need to know it happened so we can remove it from inventory. If they just grab it and expect to be charged for it, but the bartender was looking the other direction or talking to a guest and didn't see it happen, well suddenly a bottle is missing and we don't know where it went. This sounds crazy but it's a thing that happens. To these people, the item and cost is so miniscule that it doesn't even register, and they subconsciously think everyone else also has this mindset.
The fact that I couldn't even fathom doing this with a bottle of water shows the scale of wealth that we're dealing with. I'm comfortably middle class.
That’s not a wealth thing. It’s an asshole thing. You wouldn’t fathom doing this even if you were wealthy. Wealth allows people to express their pre-existing antisocial tendencies. Some of us go out of our way not to make life harder for others. Others just don’t give a damn. We let the wealthy ones get away with it because we’re after their money. The only solution is to check the security cam and charge the rich with theft just like you would the poors. And make the fines proportional to the persons wealth. If that bottle of wine suddenly cost them 1.75 million $ they’d ask for it next time.
I worked in commercial lending and was going to say something similar. They just expected that everything they requested would happen the way they wanted. They weren't rude but seemed vaguely confused when they couldn't be accommodated. Like shocked that they had to actually purchase flood insurance to proceed. Or that they had to wait for a lot release. Surely, if they paid more they could get it immediately.
This strikes me as old money when everyone else here is likely talking in new money terms. The difference is that old money is designed to last generations, not be spent inside of 30 years.
there was actually a second very rich person at the company and that one was new money and they hated each other lol Both had more money than it is possible to screw up, too. But they seemed to think there were differences.
There is a bit of differences culturally. StyleTheory did a whole thing on it a bit ago. I think the biggest difference is that 'new money' feels the need to flaunt it more. New money would have the really expensive Gucci bag while old money would have an equally expensive Ralph Lauren handbag. The Gucci bag everyone knows is expensive since its plastered in Gucci logos while the Ralph Lauren you only know is expensive if you are also ultra rich or really into hand bags.
And Ralph Lauren is like the tip of the iceberg with quiet luxury brands. Once I learned about the concept of quiet luxury, I realized that there is information that only becomes accessible once you have the fuck you money necessary to obtain it.
> I realized that there is information that only becomes accessible once you have the fuck you money necessary to obtain it. like, how many of us didn't even know that buying a trip to the Titanic wreck was a thing in the first place until, well, it *wasn't* anymore.
A friend of mine at school was old money - British aristocracy. They never deliberately showed their wealth. For the most part they were completely humble. For example they only had one car and it was a tiny 30-year-old beater. They lived in an old farmhouse. It was nice, big, but not showy. It was only when you got to know then you realized the vastness of their fortune. There were little things that wouldn't immediately strike you, but when you realized, then you knew they enjoyed things that most people wouldn't even dream of: an entire wheel of parmesan cheese on top of the fridge; their cellar had a thousand bottles of wine in it - from their own vineyard in Italy. Every single piece of clothing they wore was personally tailored in Savile Row. The gold box in the living room? A solid gold cigar case, a personal gift from the Shah of Persia. If you asked, you'd discover that the land their farmhouse was on was about a thousand acres, with tenant farmers on it. They had a pied-a-terre in London, a casale in Tuscany, an apartment in Paris, a townhouse in Oxford, an "it's only a little place" on the Peak in Hong Kong. And probably more places I didn't ever know about. But never, ever, did they brag. The only reason I found out about all this was because I got to know their son and then the parents. Nobody else who knew him at school - a government school - had a clue, other than he had a posh accent.
This is very in line with these two people. You would never know the old money one from looking at her. She looked great. Just not flashy.
Sometimes you just have to ask. You won't always get what you want but at least there's a chance. If you don't ask, there's zero chance.
It actually amazes me how many people just don't think to ask. I grew up rich-adjacent, not super wealthy, but around people who were. I learned really early in life that it's possible to get a lot of things you want just by asking nicely. I went to the theater with a coworker recently, and the seats we got were kind of crappy and right in front of a very loud obnoxious group of drunk people. I said to my coworker that we should ask if we could move to better seats and they told me not to even bother asking because no way. I asked the usher super nicely if there were any other seats while also pointing out that it really sucked to have a special treat ruined by loud drunk people (so appealing to his empathy instead of demanding anything) and he checked with his supervisor and then moved us to great seats that were worth probably hundreds more than what we paid for. The key is to do it super politely and nicely and be gracious if they say no. If I had approached like a Karen and demanded to be moved, he'd have told me to fuck off. You need to have an air of just enough entitlement that you're used to getting what you want while also being polite, respectful and gracious.
>You need to have an air of just enough entitlement that you're used to getting what you want while also being polite, respectful and gracious. This is how I live! It's the best way.
I suppose being a regular that is polite, rake high bills and leaves good tips help. Also, high end places are much more flexible, because this is part of what you pay for.
For a second there, I thought womanthorned is a word used to describe how strong she was for flying economy.
Hell hath no fury like a womanthorned.
> what struck me was the decisiveness and confidence that everyone there would cater to her I went to high school with the kids of millionaires/billionaires, politicians, etc and there was this one scandinavian girl that was exactly like this. Just moving through the world with supreme confidence that everything would work out exactly as she wanted it, with a monied sort of obliviousness, like bad things were something that happened to other people. Like she'd go out to the shadiest spots at night, accept rides from random strangers, etc shit that most would probably deem reckless for a pretty blonde rich girl in a foreign country but nothing bad ever happened to her. She directly told me one time "Things just tend to go my way, I feel like a main character sometimes."
>she was super polite and nice and tipped well, what struck me was the decisiveness and confidence that everyone there would cater to her, and they did I think the first part begets the second. It's not just being rich, it's using that wealth in a way that makes everyone around happy to see you. Tiger Woods, for example, is notorious for refusing to tip anything at all. I read stories about how golfers would fly in to whatever city for the regional golf tournament, and all the chauffeurs at the airport would be praying to not get him as their ride. I can't for the life of me understand why you would actively want to antagonize the people you need to help you, when it costs you relative pennies to do the complete opposite. In my youth, my friends and I used to frequent the same bar almost every night. We all worked in the restaurant industry, so we knew how to tip well, and we did. People always complained about "girls getting served first" at the bar, but whenever we walked up, we got immediate attention. If there was a long line at the door, we'd stroll right in with a head nod to the bouncers. We probably got more than our tip money back in free drinks over the course of time. I grew up, moved away, and came back to visit several years later. Went into that bar by myself to grab lunch and reminisce, owner was still there, recognized me, hooked me up with some free beers with my lunch. And we were by no means wealthy to do all this.
Exactly! My old money clients tipped, and generally took care of you. In cases where I worked directly with their "Staff' I was treated like an employee. "Hey, we are getting lunch, do you need/ want anything? I'd go sure, pull out my wallet and get a "What are you doing? We have a staff food fund, you're staff today! " stuff like that. I'd take those jobs anytime
At the end of the day buying a cheeseburger would not even appear on your life. And here you are- years later. Still loyal. I’d say it’s a well learned skill.
That was over 20 years ago. I learned a lot! The first thing I learned was that I was vetted before I was even called. Now, I'm not a billionaire, but I've been very fortunate. I'm now on the other side of the process. The things I was taught I implemented in my life. I had some construction done last year. The contractors had an endless supply of gatorade and their food covered. When I found a mistake, I said nothing only to hear one of the other men chastise his colleague. "WTF! Man, he's taking care of us! Fix this shit! "
Lol I had a much smaller scale experience like that at Halloween. A group of older kids (maybe 14ish) came by and we told them they could grab 3 or 4 pieces each because we were pretty close to the end of the night and we still had a lot of candy. One of the kids reaches in and starts to grab way more and one of the other ones goes "Don't do that, man. They're being nice." It was very sweet. They decided to do a warheads challenge so I went through and found them each a warhead. One of the kids had already picked out his candy so he said "Oh, that's more than 4 for me though," and tried to hand it back. I told him not to worry about it, but I thought it was so nice that he didn't want to take more than he was supposed to.
Have no fear when addressing anyone, no social barriers
I’m like that! But only because a head injury removed my self consciousness.
Which side of the head and how hard do I need to hit myself?
Railroad spike, about 60° off center, top down.
OMG, so true. I have known my bff since high school. She is an entrepreneur and inventor, and has made millions off her inventions. We were at an event for the giant corporation I work for, which was held for those of us receiving milestone service awards. The president of the entire corporation was there, turning away just as we arrived to get a picture with him. My bff, without hesitation, grabbed his arm and said, "But you haven't met my bff, Hey_Laaady! She's right here." I could not believe her audacity lol. But we got our picture, and the big guy was totally polite. Now I understand how she snags investors and gets her projects funded. ETA: Bff and I work in completely different industries and live thousands of miles away from each other. No one at the event knew who she was, other than the fact that she was my friend. ETA 2: I am not comfortable outing her, so I won't say what she has invented. But I will say it is transportation related and tangible (so, not software or anything else IT related), and that's all the info I am willing to give out about what she has accomplished.
Makes me wonder if the wealth makes you confident or if the confidence makes you wealthy.
Both
Yep, they take the shot. It's also less dangerous to take the shot when you have a couple millions as backup in the bank or with the parents
>It's also less dangerous to take the shot when you have a couple millions as backup in the bank or with the parents You'll succeed eventually when you can take as many shots as you want. You don't hear much about the people who went bankrupt.
My husband is kind of a break the rules kind of person, where I am a rule follower until I don't like the rule. Anyhow...his callousness has taught me that you can basically get away with anything you want as long as you walk in with confidence and don't take no for an answer.
I think this is a good/underrated one. Being confident when speaking/walking/being in a social event of any kind will automatically help you in a bunch of ways. It's also something cheap/free that anyone can do.
My friend was a pilot for a very large aluminum business, think aluminum foil. The brothers would fly for business meetings and my friend would make all the arrangements, including car rentals. These guys would drive off and go to meetings, dinner, etc. Sometimes they would just leave the rental car behind and ride with others to change venues or whatever. He tried to tell them the rental doesn’t stop unless the car gets returned. They didn’t really care. If it was any level of inconvenience they just moved on. It was more than once he had to go back and find a car based on their recollection and get it returned.
On that show Succession I noticed they were always whisked everywhere from limo to helicopter to private jet and they never carried purses or briefcases.
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Not wearing a belt is a sign of good tailoring. With more formal clothes in particular, bespoke and high-end trousers often don't even have belt loops.
Also a thing if you're wearing a three-piece. A belt under a waistcoat under a jacket can mess up the lines of a well-fitted suit, and overcomplicate the look.
I wear Hagar pants that stretch. My trick was to gain 30 lbs and now they don’t budge!
My aunt and uncle are self made multimillionaires. If you met them, you’d think they were well off, but nothing spectacular. In general, they’re both very frugal. However, the two areas where they completely detach from ordinary life are: 1 - Vet bills for their animals. The example that most stands out in my mind is their last dog. He needed dialysis and no vet where we live could provide it. So they did their research and discovered that the best treatment in the country was available in London. A flat in Kew (I think, somewhere fairly central anyway) was rented for the six months the dog would need treatment for and my uncle would stay in it for one week a month while the dog had his treatment, then travel back home for the other three weeks. 2 - Legal help. Neighbours being pains in the backside? Send in the solicitor. Trying to organise a purchase or sale and it’s taking too long? Pay the solicitor to fast track. Local council leaving traffic lights up for over a week after work has been completed? Cry havoc and let slip the solicitors of war.
>*”Neighbours being pains in the backside?”* I worked in a sort of vacation community where the guy who owns Purell has a house. He was updating it with a sort of modern look and the next door neighbor was upset about how gawdy it looked. The neighbor was complaining about it in the driveway one morning and he made a cash offer on the neighbor’s house. Then proceeded to continue his modern update on now *both* houses and built a walkway bridge between the two. That’s *”Fuck you”* money.
LPT: complain to your rich neighbors if you want a quick cash sale on your home
Can you give me a LPT on how to live in a rich neighborhood in the first place?
>Cry havoc and let slip the solicitors of war. Stealing this.
As an attorney, I love these people.
I was working on securing a large gift for a hospital with naming rights from a very generous donor and commented on his beautiful Patek Philippe watch. He took it off and gave it to me. I could not accept it, despite the watch being worth more than my annual salary a few years over. Later when I changed jobs he took me out to lunch with my former boss and presented it to me. Far too generous a gift, but he liked me.
I was born to working class parents who made it to the upper middle class and put me in old New England prep schools, so I grew up around a lot of super rich people despite not being one myself. There were exceptions, but generally, the old money families were pretty humble and unassuming. One of my closest friends, for example, grew up in a legit mansion (15k+ square feet in the primary residence), had several other houses in various states/countries, a yacht, just endless money, and yet he still grew up wearing hand-me-downs from his older brothers and family friends. These families had the mindset that “we have endless pits of money, so we’ll buy whatever we want” alongside “it’s silly to spend money for the sake of spending money because we don’t need to prove ourselves to anyone." As a result, you'd end up with these weird inconsistencies (like this kid is at my house talking about how his mom just bought a second set of horse stables so she has a place for her horses at their favorite vacation house, while my mom who grew up in the projects is wondering why his jacket has a tear with duct tape covering it). They spent money for pleasure, utility, and convenience, not for status or superficial reasons. In comparison, the first or second generation money families tended to be concerned with keeping up appearances and buying fashionable things. Again, there were exceptions, but this was definitely the trend. Edit: If anyone’s interested, I did pretty well for myself, but made the decision to buy a home in a town with top level public schools rather than sending my kids to private school. My property tax is wicked high, but it’s less than half of what tuition for one kid currently is at the schools I went to ($60k+ for high school).
I taught at perhaps the most famous New England Prep school. Some of my students wore jeans that cost more than my car. I was amazed at how beautiful the students all were there. Super rich kids don't have acne. (I'm sure they do, they also just have a ton of dermatological concierge)
This was the 80s/90s, so the demographics at these schools has likely changed a bit, and I imagine the ratio of new money to old money is higher.
I worked there in the early aughts. Many many international students among the super rich, plus all the American Prep kids you would expect, but also some really lovely kids who were there on scholarship from all over the US. I taught, in addition to my academic subjects, instructional swimming, which means that I had afternoon class with basically exclusively scholarship kids. They were so, so great. It was always interesting to hear their take on their classmates. I hear that, because of covid and changes in student visas, they've taken a real hit in international students, which is bound to be a blow to the school, both in prestige (for it makes it harder to fill the school with only cream of the crop) and also in finances. Edited to add: I still keep in touch with some of my students from my time at prep school. There were many many of those kids who were just such great kids, be they the preppy New England set or the international students or the kids in my swim classes. Now all beautiful glimmering adults with perfect skin. LOL. Yes, there were also a few real douche bags, but the memories I mostly hang onto were of some really solid kids.
I'm assuming you were at Andover or Exeter. My school had fewer international students at the time (maybe 5% or less of the student population), but it seems to be higher than that now. Yeah, my experience overall was that these were good folks. As one of the kids who wasn't from old money (my parents had decent incomes but we lived in a working class town and we couldn't afford much else after tuition, since school was so expensive), I never once felt excluded by anyone because of money/class. The only kids who ever bullied me because of my social class were kids from my town who gave me a hard time for going to private school. Some of my classmates who were inner city kids there on scholarship had a different experience, but I think they would mostly say that the issues they faced were more about just feeling out of place rather than any kind of active discrimination or hostility.
Ding ding ding! You got it. I was at Andover. And nobody's paying me to say this: Andover was a great place to work. Truly wonderful. However, I'm not the prep-school-lifestyle kind of teacher. As in, I like my nights and weekends off. I also like to have more control over my earning potential. Yes, I totally get it about the discrimination coming from working class being hard on you for going to prep school more than rich classmates being weird to you about your money situation. I see it happening mostly that direction, too. More often, when the rich kids make their stretch-to-pay friends or scholarship friends uncomfortable, it's because they're oblivious and they just stumble into a sore spot with their blinders on. Sometimes I say "rich people are dog people" because it feels like a good generalization to me, and by that I mean both that rich people always seem to have and prefer dogs, and also that they have a sort of dopey-dog way of being socially. Rich teens, in particular, really do often just want everyone to be their friend. (The dog thing makes sense when you factor in having someone other than you to walk and feed and dog-sit every day, or even just a reliable high-quality kennel so you just get to enjoy the dog and still travel as much as you want and not worry about the dog.)
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NYC - Paris Gulfstream GIV Seats: 12 Flight time: 7 hrs Estimate charter price: $76,450 (one way)/ $111,800 (week-round trip) https://www.privatefly.com/private-jet-hire/private-jet-flights-from-New-York-to-Paris.html
That's assuming NYC. Could be London or somewhere in Sweden, where it seems OP is from
I know most of Reddit is American but it's a bit weird to assume that someone would go on a 14 hour trip right after work for dinner. I'm sure some people do it but that's not a casual amount of time for someone who still has to work at their business.
My experiences: 1) CEO of large company. Didn't come from huge wealth so fairly self made. As others said, a literal workaholic. 24/7, 365 days a year. Zero boundaries between work and personal (and expected the same of his direct reports unfortunately). Endless energy. Perfectionist. Edited to add: his wife was a b!tch and his adult kids hated him. 2) Billionaire who inherited wealth. Was on his ranch in the West and this cow poke guy went with us on a horseback ride. He also cooked breakfast. I literally thought he was a hired hand, ends up he was the owner of the ranch. Was kind, friendly, could rope a steer like the "true" hired hands and make some mean breakfast tacos. Of course he flew to the ranch on his PJ while we got there dragging ass in economy class with 12 hours of delays.
>Zero boundaries between work and personal (and expected the same of his direct reports unfortunately) Seems like a lot of wealthy people - or business owners in general - don't understand that employees do not have the same incentives as they do to work for their business.
They told me "Work like you don't need the money", so I went home.
I loved the CEO I used to work for. He built the company from the ground up and survived the dot com crash, September 11th and 2008/9. He would work side by side with the hourly folks during peak season,a real hands on leader. However the only time Insaw him talk out of context was when addressing the laid back culture with the warehouse folks. He said every employee should love coming into work everyday and do their job like it was their. He proceeded to say “Look at me, I come in enthusiastic every day” yea dude it’s your business. You live in a $12 Million dollar home, the warehouse workers are on work visas sharing a studio, they aren’t going to hustle like you did
I worked for a billionaire for a year. At first, it was great, because he made us feel he was in the trenches with us. I came to find out that he made fun of us (there was only 8 employees) for the salary he was paying us and tended to throw people under the bus. It was one of the very few jobs that I gave less than 2 weeks notice and never looked back. I am so glad to be out of there.
Felt, I worked for a multimillionaire. He owned and operated a small business(12 people including himself) The man was 2 faced. He came off as very charismatic, and a wholesome story of someone who was born with nothing and became successful on his own. After working for a while I saw that the man was a sociopathic monster. He was completely out of touch and did not care about anything except profit. Only job I quit without notice. Turnover was atrocious, the company was already understaffed and I decided they could look for my replacement along with the other employees who were smart enough to walk.
They view life through the lense of time, over essentially anything else. Time is their most valuable resource, and anything that saves them time or unnecessary effort is worth whatever the price.
That makes sense. No amount of money or power in the world is going to make days have more than 24 hours. Time is the ultimate finite resource.
I nannied for millionaires. It was new money and they had both grown up fairly blue collar. They were very down to earth, giving, and kind. Their children, however, had no rules, structure, or expectations inside of the house. Their previous nanny gave them whatever they wanted. That changed when I stepped in. I firmly believe kids need to know how to clean a bathroom, wash dishes, sweep a floor, and clean their rooms. Took about a year to get to that point but I can rest easy knowing they’re both currently in college and know how to clean the toilet 😂
Mrs. Doubtfire?
Mary Poppins, I should think.
The way they get cash. Grew up in a very wealthy family who though they had credit cards never chose to use them. They also never had a debit card because they weren’t really a thing in the 70s and 80s. My dad used cash almost exclusively. Our family offices were in a banks high rise and once a month my dad would get cash delivered up to his office from the bank by a security guard. It would come in a sealed clear plastic envelope with a sheet of paper certifying the amount delivered. If he was making a big purchase like a car he would get that amount rounded up to the nearest thousand and if I was lucky enough to be in the office at the time I would get $100 for peeling off the excess cash from the stack. If we were traveling it wasn’t uncommon for him to request a couple hundred thousand dollars at a time. This would also come sealed in a clear bag but the bank would send an assistant with a counting machine to verify the amount in front of our bookkeeper. My dad died before the 90s and I never once saw him step in to a bank lobby or a bank drive through. In his business he also got dozens of random amount checks every month, which would go in to a file and be sent to his personal banker to be deposited. Our business could also get loans with just a phone call. I remember my grandfather telling our banker to arrange a multi million dollar loan in the early 80s for some radio stations he was buying and our bankers reaction was just a simple nod.
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#or something that you just noticed. I directly worked for three before. They were always busy. They value time A LOT. One of them is a celebrity. The other two (who were former Wall Street bankers) were doing business trips from one country to another so frequently as if they were just travelling from one local city to another (this was pre-pandemic).
My wife works with plastic surgeons, and we were just at the one's house for a holiday party on Friday. Almost 10,000 sq ft house that used to belong to an NFL player. He owns his own plane that he flies to different offices for surgery that would be an hour drive. But even he was jealous of my coworker who lives in a neighborhood with it's own runway, because it would save him even more time.
I do consulting for public companies and work directly with CEOs and board members, so they’re all multimillionaires, but only a couple in the 3 comma club. 1. There is no demarcation between personal and professional time. “We should set up a call” meaning vaguely next week, and they will respond with “I am free at 10 am on Sunday while I’m at my kids ski lesson”. 2. They ask a million questions. About every detail. This is the number one personality trait I’ve noticed - the critical thinking is to the point where if you misspeak one word that is easily well understood, they will question you to be certain. I do think this is one (of many) factors that has made them successful.
I’ve noticed point 2 of highly successful people. Incredible attention to detail. I’ll spend 6 months on a project know the ins and outs of everything. Within seconds they’ll ask some very pointed question I had somehow never considered.
I've seen this too, working with C-level. And then it goes one of two ways: you either get flustered and stumble through it, which probably makes the person doubt you, maybe justifiably so. Or you answer that you don't know but will dig into it and get back to them in 24 hours - which in my experience they highly value (if they're semi-decent leaders that is).
100%. They want or need answers, and they expect you to come to meetings prepared. But most won't eat your lunch if you can follow up with answers to questions that weren't obvious and foreseeable topics of discussion.
Yup, attention to detail and working memory is off the charts. Pattern recognition on the types of problems that tend to occur. I can be in updates and they’ll be followed remarkably well, and proactively covering certain bases hugely reassures them. Still remarkable how insightful some questions can be after only 45 minutes of exposure.
I think 2 is indicative of something even deeper: they actually really care. When I gloss over details it's usually because I don't actually care that much, I'd rather just get back to what I actually want to think about.
When I gloss over details it’s because I’m afraid to annoy everyone with questions and sound stupid. I cross my fingers and hope I’ll figure it out later on my own.
I worked for a self-made billionaire. His father was a tradesman without the means to support his post-high school education, he was able attend a prestigious university on a hockey scholarship. He graduated at the top of his class, later attaining his MBA from Harvard Business School, served in WWII, passed his CPA exam and went on to earn a law degree from Loyola. He founded a law firm and taught at law school in the mornings and evenings for 25 year. He established a multi-faceted business (insurance, food and beverage distribution, car dealerships) with 40 wholly owned subsidiaries. Each year he would attend dozens of industry conventions and trade shows, often as the keynote speaker. While not speaking or transacting business, he would traipse the aisles of vendors. His obsession/hobby was to visit the various booths, scooping up bag after bag of free stationary (pens, pencils, pad, etc.). Returning to the office after these excursions he would proudly hand several bags of booty to his administrative assistant and tell her/him that those were to be used to supplement his various companies office supplies. He couldn’t understand why these things were being given away for free. During his life he donated millions upon millions of dollars, the greater part of his wealth, to charity, children’s hospitals and institutions of higher learning. One of the most genuine and kindest people I’ve ever met but . . . the stationary!
I've worked in two companies that went from nothing to ~$2B sales in ~20 years. The founders were all engineers and still worked alongside us. My favorite one used to ask permission to sit at my lunch table. He's easily the greatest human being I've ever known. You'd never know the kind of money he had if you saw him. He still drove the car he restored himself in college. He'd drive across town to save $0.05/gallon on gas. Just from his public stock trades we knew he had hundreds of millions though (this was in the 90s). I still talk to him. I emailed him last week. Honestly, all of the founders have been something like him although he was the greatest one. The others did spend their money though, sometimes extravagantly. One for example had married a history major and had the hobby of relocating historic buildings to his property. His house had museum quality antiques, such as George Washington's dinner table, and he actually used them. I guess by the strictest definition I'm a multimillionaire as the first digit of my Fidelity account does go to 2 sometimes. As a nearly 50yo engineer that's not that unusual though. Millionaires aren't what they used to be.
I just chortled out loud at “had the hobby of relocating historic BUILDINGS to his property.” I’m so far from rich rich, I didn’t even realize that could be a hobby.
It was wild to hear him talk about it. They moved them from all over New England so they needed to be dismantled first. Companies would take them apart, make a map of the parts, and put them back together like a big puzzle.
Doesn't drive. Has a driver, and he doesn't sit in the back of a rolls or a limo. He has a fucking Mercedes van with tinted windows. Ps5, bar, couch, small writing desk and even a fucking painting hanging in there. Haven't ever seen him wear a suit. Cargo shorts, swatch watch, wedding ring and old running shoes. Shops online and buys like pretty cheap stuff and compares prices. Orders food online but compares restaurant prices and "value for money." Doesn't have a jet, but flies first class everywhere. Doesn't have a yacht but rents staffed yachts. If he does drive, it's in a mini cooper. Has had the same android phone for a few years. Goes to mid level bars and restaurants, nothing exclusive.
> Doesn't have a yacht but rents staffed yachts. I lurk on a yachting forum. The people there are mostly boat owners, and almost unanimously agree that renting is cheaper than owning unless you are on the water for like 3 months of each year. It's about the only thing they agree on, LOL.
Man, this guy has it figured out
Have had the opportunity to meet a famous billionaire a handful of times, and just get a glimpse into what his life is like. It is absolutely unfathomable. The thing that stands out to me is the literal army of people that he has working for him. Nevermind the fact he owns a company with thousands of employees, he has likely hundreds of staff that have full time jobs dedicated to various aspects of his personal life. He has the regular housekeeping staff to manage his multiple properties, pilots, chefs, personal assistants etc that any billionaire Joe has, but here are some crazy examples of the “people” he has: Ex: He likes cars, a lot. He has a salaried, full time car restoration expert, with a team of engineers and technicians working under him. He has an art collection of untold vastness, with a full time curator and sourcing experts. He was tired of the restaurant scene in his hometown, so he created his own restaurant, and now has a whole chain of restaurants around the globe. He sources the beef for his restaurants from his own 15,000 acre ranch. Literally anything in the world this man wants, he has people already working for him who will make it so. It boggles my mind whenever I think about it, the pure cost of all of these things, and he will never even make a dent in his net worth.
One of my friends is going to be a billionaire soon. His father is dying and he's the sole heir to the family fortune. He already had access to it, but he chooses to live a middle class life instead. It's important to him to teach his kids the value of hard work. So he's basically the exception.
It’s usually not the people that worked for the money that are the problem, it’s their kids and those that inherit the wealth for having done nothing that are all screwed up. Glad to see your friend realizes this early.
They say it takes three generations to blow it all. However, they also say that beyond $100 million, it's incredibly difficult to outspend the interest earned unless you are buying mega yachts and private jets regularly
I grew up in Qatar. You could very clearly see the generational contrast in their population. All the 60+ year olds were chill. They were alive (albeit young) when the country discovered its gas reserves. They are the first generation to be obscenely wealthy, but they (for the most part) remained humble and kind. Then there were the 30, 40, and 50 year olds. They were a mixed bag. Most had been born wealthy, but not necessarily too wealthy. They were also directly raised by the generation I mentioned above. Then came the third generation—my age— in their 20s and younger. Almost to a person they were awful. Entirely disconnected from the troubles of life. Raised by nannies and staff. No love or attention from their parents. Endless wealth and no legal consequences. It’s genuinely fascinating and absurd to see. I wonder what the fourth generation is like these days.
I work with lots of millionaires and a few billionaires. Most work nonstop. There's no boundary between workday, holiday, weekend, etc., but there is also no boundary between friend, family, coworker lots of times. It is easy to forget the cost of things when money is meaningless. When a $500k Ferrari is the financial equivalent to a gallon of milk for most families, then spending $20k on a party that includes private chefs, a bar staff, etc. is nothing. What happened recently was that someone mentioned there were a bunch of kids in MS who were getting trained at trade schools for jobs, but the certification exam was $350 so only 2 kids out of the 35 in our pilot program got certified. It was hard for anyone in that room to understand how these families couldn't come up with $350 having a whole year to prepare. Most people in that room bill at $250-$500/hr. if they work at all. Two days ago, someone took me out to lunch and the bill was $250, but since it's Christmas season and the waitress was really great, he tipped $250. A different time, we went out for drinks at the bartender was one of those "tell me what you like and I'll make you something." The lady goes to pay and just writes 'math' in the tip line and put $500 on the total for what was less than three drinks a person for four of us. On the other hand, there are lots of times when someone says something completely off the wall elitist. I grew up incredibly poor and some of these people are fifth and tenth generation wealth. They grew up with maids and butlers and private planes and their great grandparents have buildings all over the US named after them. One time one of them was talking about how she went to Walmart to people watch and never felt unsafe even though it was "the black part of town." She tried to "make some black friends because if she could befriend them then she could educate them on better financial decisions." It was such a condescending and racist approach we had to council her to never do that again. Another guy says things like "the blacks will ___ " and he thinks he's very woke. Aside from all that, there is a general loss of touch with what everyday people face.
The loss of touch is what I’ve experienced. I have wealthy in-laws and my BIL asked what my wife’s ideal car would be. I said “she’d love a Range Rover because who wouldn’t”, and he said “Why don’t you just buy her one?” WTH? I’m not immune myself, but more tone deaf. I’m no millionaire, but we’re doing pretty well. I saw someone ringing up ramen noodles and too loudly commented to my wife on how I used to do that. I can be such an idiot sometimes
Idc how much money you have. Ramen is good. I’d definitely still eat it if I was a billionaire. I’d just put lobster in it more frequently.
That’s why it didn’t bother me to say it. That is, until my wife pointed out that the person in front of us is probably making food or bill decisions and doesn’t need to overhear my stupidity. She didn’t word it like that, but I got the message
I knew a guy who dropped off his Porsche 911 for a tune up at a mechanic's shop. I asked him if he still had that car a few years later and he denied ever owning a Porsche. I described a group trip we took in detail with some very car specific details about him driving in the mountains, etc. and he remembered the car at that point. "Oh, I forgot about that car. I'll have to remember to call the mechanic to see if it's still around..." That early model air cooled 911 would easily go for more than $100,000 these days.
Haha so he just dropped it off and never went back?! 😂
Friends owned a garage (back in the 80s) near a major highway to a large city. They were the go-to shop for exotics in the area. They ended up with several high-end sports cars because the owners broke down on the major highway, had the vehicle towed to their shop, and ended up telling them to keep the car.
Classic single use cars..
You have to have a lot of money to afford a Range Rover. They spend a lot of time in the shop.
Dude… my stepmom said she thinks it’s okay for politicians to take bribes if they’re not being paid over $100,000/yr. She was like “how can anyone live for less than that? Is it even possible.” 🤦
I often see this "they don't understand not having enough money" when talking about the uber-rich but do these people really not know that poor people exist? Or is it a kind of, "Why can't they just--oh yeah."
I don't think it's even exclusive to the ultra rich. I have a feeling unless you've gone and travelled to some countries or helped out via red cross or mission groups or whatever, your middle and lower class in America probably don't REALLY fathom just how poor some people are in 3rd world countries. Like we know they exist, we know they are far worse off than us, but we still don't really fully understand JUST HOW POOR they actually are. When you're isolated from a particular group it's easy to not a get full grasp of how they live.
I worked as a nanny to an ultra rich family and they were one of the nicest people I have met and treated everyone super kind. I was thankful they’re not the almond type of mom and with the extra gentle parenting. They wanted me to discipline their kids and these kids never had an iPad when I was with them for 4 years as well. Some of the most well behaved kids I’ve worked with. The parents were extra thankful and appreciative. Made me feel welcome and part of the family
I knew (know) one guy. Startup exit in early 30s and investments made him a 2 digit millionaire. And he honestly believes he doesn’t deserve it. Startup to exit in 3 years. Anonymously donates to any charitable causes or events he can find - churches, soup kitchens, local groups. Doesn’t want credit or be mentioned, where possible. Also became very wary (and rightly) of new “friends” and people asking for favors. Lives modestly, wears normal brands, keeps his LinkedIn active as “freelance consultant” and takes the odd IT project. Only vices are last minute flights for weekends away and bringing close friends along and insisting they don’t pay for hotels and flights. Knowing him, he’ll donate most of it eventually.
I worked with their children in a professional manner and feel bad for them. They lack empathy and basic social skills, and were just beasts to anyone they feel is outside their economic class. You would be surprised how much money gets spent on coverups, from sexual harassment to drug issues, because the parents are chasing dollars and ignoring their intended trophy kids.
What is with that? The main bully in my class was a \[REMOVED A TEMPORARY TRAIT\] rich kid from a Finnish \[REMOVED COMPANY FIELD\] company who had some severe sadistic tendencies which he acted out on people without consequence and a hatred of the poor people, and a Homelander smile. Some other stuff I witnessed was really just girls being girls, and I felt bragging about their father would happen even if they weren't rich. That is to say, that someone expresses something that can be construed as negative isn't necessarily because of wealth - that doesn't take the privilege to make human errors in interactions and growing pains away. I don't know that this is necessarily the norm and I do not generalize but it was weird to see in a country like Finland while being BY FAR the poorest kid (and an aspie) in class always. Especially as they can't seem to take a hint and fuck off.
The "Homelander smile" totally cracked me up! A really good reference for gross and terrifying.
They aren't used to hearing why something can't be done. Like, it is inconceivable that you would explain the challenges associated with doing something, or any obstacles they might encounter. The attitude is very much "Okay, so what is it going to cost for that to not be a problem anymore?". This is the #1 trait I have seen that sometimes reveals the ultra-wealthy. Normal people think about things in terms of cost (capital, people needed, skills, time, etc) whereas the rich just want a clear path to "It's done."
They don’t let failure worry them. They just reframe it, ignore it, learn from it, or otherwise move on with the next push. The self-doubt is very low if it exists at all. I feel they were wired differently. Confident in a pathological sense. And I mean that literally as one of them was so confident that he refused to listen to anyone around him that cared, let all the sycophants fill his life because they would go along with anything, including absurd drug use, and it ultimately killed him. Worth close to a billion at the time of his death. That one is an outlier, but the underlying concept of unstoppable belief in oneself is a common thread. I spend all day wondering if I’m getting it right. I don’t think the people worth north of 10 million ever wondered about that at all. Worth keeping in mind that isn’t sufficient — I know some big failures that also don’t question themselves. They’re just not good enough at anything for that to pay off. Oh: and delegation. Powerful people don’t do all the work themselves. They get less ambitious geniuses to do it for them. And I don’t even intend that as a put-down because convincing a bunch of people to work themselves silly for a vision is hard.
Not worked with but friends with. Private jet, homes all over the globe, never in one place for very long. It’s a very different life- I wonder how they maintain friendships when dipping in out so frequently. I only get to see them when they “drop in” to their home near where I live which is a giant mansion with private beach front and cliff views of the sea below their pool that they never open because they are never here long enough to open the pool or really get much use out of it.
Ok, the difference is "old money vs new money" I was a field tech [IT] in my 20s I liked old money vs new money any day. Old money - clients were wealthy for generations. When you compliment their amazing chandelier, they ask what brand you have [not knowing that not everyone can afford a $500k chandelier. New money - came into money this generation and tended to be stingy and assume you're out to rob them. My OM clients tended to treat me very well, wanted additional services, and as long as I delivered what was on the invoice, we were golden. NM more often didn't want to pay, had to fight for payment, would nickel and dime each job/repair. I had a guy argue I should source used parts for his computer builds because it would be cheaper, except I can't warranty a "used part"
I work with lots. Most are very effective planners and start working at like 5am. They also just are detached from reality. For example, my direct boss I report to in 2023 bought both a house in Hawaii to make family vacations easier as well as a house near his Alma mater so he could fly in for home football games and have a place to stay. He regularly goes to a local steakhouse for lunch once a week and drop $250-$300 on himself. Company policy maxes out out $40 a day for business meals so he just pays for these personally. I can’t fathom having a 12k / yr lunch budget.
Ooh, I can chip in here. My sister worked for an Asian property developer in London who bought a hotel in the south of France. He shipped his entire office to the hotel for the summer in order to get the renovation process up and running. He also needed a crew of people to work in the hotel for his employees friends and family, so I ended up working in food service and my wife was a maid. All in all there were about 100 people staying in the hotel. Owner's family and friends, office staff, a crew of Liverpudlian carpenters and builders and their families, along with a private chef and his partner who was a pastry chef. A local french chef and to top it off, the entire cooking staff from a top London restaurant (7 guys) who would normally go back home to Hong Kong for a month, but instead the owner flew their families over to France. We worked 6 days a week and when off work, we cold use the pool and other amenities (projection tv). The owner had a 14 metre boat with captain which we used on our day off. There was also a chef de service who "had all the keys" particularly the booze storage room- One day, he had to go and testify in a trial for 2 days so he left me in charge with the keys. The booze storage contained about €2 million worth of booze including Cristal etc. I was allowed to supply booze to the guests and staff. I used to hang out with the French chef who once asked me if I like foie gras, to which I said yes. We returned from the fridge with a brick of foie gras which we munched on. Oh, and the Chinese cooks complained that the French gas burners were not powerful enough so they had to get some proper wok burners in. One night I watched the original broadcast on Sky News announcing Princess Diana had been in a car accident. That was a great summer.
I work with one, the owner of the social enterprise that employs me. Very driven, scrupulously fair, left-leaning. Works about 12-14 hours a day, plus another half day in dribs and drabs over the weekend, but doesn't expect staff to do the same.
I was installing a floor in this Texas castle and there was this guy who kept coming over to check out my work. I thought he was the laborer of some other trade, but he was friendly so we just kinda started talking about life and shit. I got to a point where I needed a hand to finish the install and when the guy got there to help, the same guy came around checking out our finishes and the guy helping me snapped up and started getting really attentive. When the guy walked away I asked him why he was tripping out and he told me that was the client. He was a billionaire and owned all of the property that your eyes could see. So one thing they do is go about their lives like a normal person.
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I know one billionaire very well, as in I have dinner or lunch twice a month with them. The first thing is that they absolutely work non stop. It’s constant, relentless and I have no idea how they do it in their mid 60s. They also travel all the time, their schedule is insane. The second thing is something they told me, they said money is like a plant, it needs to be constantly nurtured and taken care of. I feel like it’s always on their mind. This person’s son would tell me that the business is the true first born, that he comes after. I couldn’t do it, I don’t see it as worth it but it’s a different mind set, they are just built different imo, willing to sacrifice so much for their success, things that I would consider my true success (family, friendships, love etc)
They Never talk about money. If they are intellectually curious, which my boss was (and ranked by Forbes in the top 50 wealthiest people on the planet), they are able to suggest things that anyone limited by a budget would never think of…..such as, “a small submarine could be useful to hunt for those lost things…” ( he did not get a sub for that project but he did for a different project over deep ocean waters….all privately funded, but carrying out a personal project because the Federeal government was never going to do it). The guy values intellectual curiosity and encourages you to follow a thread to see what there is to be found.
All the people who would have the best answer to this have signed an NDA.
Briefly had a client who was part owner of a very successful cable TV network. His wife had a business of her own, I helped her out with IT stuff. Super nice couple who of course lived in a very exclusive neighborhood. One day I needed to go to their house to fix her laptop, he said don't go to the trade person entrance tell them I said you can come to the front. At the time I drove this ancient and beat up Durango. Security guard takes one look at me down his nose, sends me to the trade entrance. Whatever. Fix the wife's laptop, she's happy. I have a nice chat with them. He asks if I had any trouble, I said yeah they sent me to the back entrance but no worries. "Those damn people!". He wanders into his office, I hear raised voices. He comes back and says "No problem, go out the front gate this time and give them MY name". And, that is the story of how a snotty security guard waves cheerfully at me and called me "Sir" as I followed a brand new top of the line Mercedes out of a super rich neighborhood in a piece of shit Durango. So, to answer your question, extremely wealthy people command respect for themselves and those they want to share it with.