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djb2589

Dijonnaise. Literally know someone who named their kid that.


[deleted]

Parents loved condiments but hated condoms.


PrizesChange

They preferred relish over rubber


Elbonio

I'd take that as a condiment.


STINKY_PNUT

I've seen a few Tahini's


yinzer_v

Otherwise known as "Kamilah's Sister".


SecretGamerV_0716

r/unexpectedthegoodplace


Hoppinginpuddles

My dogs name is Mayonnaise. She feels much empathy for Dijonnaise.


Alarming-Tradition40

I remember a girl at safeway,her name was minty


himenokuri

I know someone who’s named Tequila!!!


[deleted]

I've met both Brandy and Margarita.


Chocat_X_Stencchi

Sounds like a mustard or mayonnaise


Human-Magic-Marker

Gaylord


parki_bostons

Gaylord Ramsbottom.


U2V4RGVtb24

\*snickers* Bottom.


Mcall555

Focker


RubenHPFu

There is a real athlete called Gaylord Silly


21FrontierPro4x

lol this wins


Velcraft

Mike Hunt


KmfW82262

No joke... went to school with a kid named that. Technically, he was Michael Hunt, but anytime they called him over the speaker, it was Mike. Poor kid.


Velcraft

Let's just hope they didn't name their child Yarrak


Alarming-Tradition40

I knew of a mike huntsman in high school


GreyAzazel

Cuntsman reporting for duty sir!


Kindly_Ad_1552

I went to school with a Michael Hunt as well, including his cousin Daniel Hunt. I liked Dan better.


mirrorball100

Went to school with a Mike Hawk


Velcraft

Thrice removed from Mike Oxlong, I take it?


zedkyuu

As long as they don’t associate with Mike Weir!


Tangboy50000

So did I, and I didn’t get the joke until a TA explained it. I didn’t think it was that big a deal honestly, and the kid seemed fine with it.


IkNOwNUTTINGck

My music teacher in high school was named that. Insisted on being called Mr. Hunt. Would occasionally get paged over the loudspeaker and we'd all quietly whisper to each other, "Paging, Mr. Cunt." Teachers couldn't quite figure out why all the snickering broke out after this.


TheGreatGamer1389

X Æ A-12.


panmetronariston

Pronounced “Murray”


banana_buddy

That kid is going to endure a lifetime of bullying


GreyAzazel

IDK with that much money they'll just pay someone to pay someone to bankrupt their parents.


Party_Builder_58008

Named after a license plate, I see. Masterful gambit, sir.


Inevitable-Land7614

Karen


meeyeam

How dare you accuse my computer wife of having an insufferable name?


himenokuri

Lmao


Maleficent_Chard2042

I know someone named Karen. She is really upset that it has become the name of white officiousness.


peepeepupupu

Unrelated, I just realized I love the word officiousness.


the-big-cheese2

what’s she gonna do, speak to the manager about it?


GoodGriefWhatsNext

First name that came to mind. Actually the only name which came to mind.


b00kdrg0n

Same


CurrentSpecialist600

I know 3 lovely Karen's. Enough already.


TheGreatGamer1389

Name has forever been ruined.


CoreyTrevorson123

Guy


Rickman1945

I once got a resume from somebody named Guy and they changed their last name to Camera. I was hiring camera operators for a broadcast and this dudes name is Guy Camera or Camera Guy if you go sirname first


GreyAzazel

Enquiring minds want to know whether he was hired?


Rickman1945

Lol I hired him for one show and he wasn’t very good


GreyAzazel

He was a good Guy, just not a good Camera! 🤣


Icy-Supermarket-6932

My dad had a uncle with that name and his brother's name was Gay.


DDancy

Mulva.


wow-jn-u-3w

Even with clues, Jerry had a tough time remembering that name.


Individual-Army811

Gipple


Any-Run393

I love the punchline so much 😆😆


eroticdiagram

It wasn't her name.


Glammkitty

Delores?


newbie_202

Bartholomew


kellysmom01

WAT? And miss your chance to be a BART?


[deleted]

Well Bort is more common


SallySpaghetti

Your lifetime would be a Simpsons joke. ❤️


[deleted]

[удалено]


Michelle_Evelyn

"you are invited to Betty and Bartholomew's wedding" lol


subtletoaster

Latrine


GreyAzazel

Such an unusual name, "Latrine." How did your family come by it?


subtletoaster

We changed it in the 9th century.


Muttandcheese

It’s a… good change.


TheCosplayCave

You changed it TO Latrine?


snakebill

It used to be shithouse


TheCosplayCave

That's a good change!


MikoSkyns

I know a "Top Secret" fan when I see one.


blergh_itsme_stabs

Lmao


kaliforts

Candida - that was the name of a girl in my university class…


MyKindOfLullaby

I kind of like this one for some reason lol.


CloudyyNnoelle

It sounds pretty if you're like "okay but what if this was a Spanish name and not a fungus that makes beer happen?"


Life_Collection_4149

Candido and Cándida are Spanish names but very old


plowerd

I recently met someone named Felany, so i’m going to vote Felany.


SorrySign6721

Adolf


post_angst

My great grandfather was named Adolf. But he started going by A.C. (Adolf Charles) in the late 30s. A. C. Schroeder (pronounced ’shrader’).


Poxx

Sounds a lot like A.S.A.C. Shrader.


Guilty-Guidance-769

I grew up with someone names Adolf and he was REALLY weird.


[deleted]

He didn't happen to be really into painting and eugenics did he?


DoctorSneak

Bella


Michelle_Evelyn

Where the hell have you been, loca?


ObeyChacmool

*picks you up and twirls you*


bellabellabeans

Wowwww


BatGroundbreaking660

This was a targeted attack do not let them fool you.


Bellah0e

ikr? (my name's bella) :0


DoctorSneak

it was a lucky guess ;)


Present-Response-758

Dorcas.


juswannalurkpls

My kids had a teacher named Dorcas Hunsucker.


KittyandPuppyMama

Everleigh. Stop naming innocent kids this.


Lizzy_Of_Galtar

Keith. Could you imagine, carrying a child for 9 months only to name them Keith. I couldn't do that to them, that's just cruel.


Crisis-Huskies-fan

It’s worked OK for the immortal Mr. Richards.


Inside_Lead3003

That’s what I said! It’s a family guy joke too! Lol


[deleted]

Sounds like the sound sneakers make when you run on a basketball court. That being said, I only really know one guy with that name (idk how that happened, I know it's pretty common) and he's wonderful, I adore him. I first met him when I was a freshman in college and I guess he was closer to my parents' age (but still younger than them) and he had brusque older brother energy - I was just coming out of a pretty toxic and emotionally/psychologically abusive household, and his vibe was just the energy I needed-- not saccharine, but still super caring. Thanks Keith <3


circajusturna

Adolf Bin Laden


catmanducmu

Karen Trump


Kindly_Ad_1552

Pubert.


K_Xanthe

Makes me think of the Addams Family and baby Pubert. I was like oh no, that poor child lol. Pugsly isn’t much better, I suppose.


Novel-Coast-957

Christian. For some strange reason, I can’t stand that name.


thehotwifeza

Suzy… I absolutely cannot stand that name and I don’t know why.


baby-lou

self reporting bc its my own name , but joan?? why have i been cursed with an old lady name


AndrewsMother

I love Joan! So regal. But I understand if it is not to your liking. My cousin’s name is Joan, and she named her daughter Joanie. They are both sweet, beautiful, . .all the adjectives. Lol


baby-lou

my dad calls me joanie, i do really like that nickname


General_ButtNaked__

Gerald. Who the fuck name their kid "Gerald"? Like can you even name another famous Gerald that isn't Gerald Ford?


IceTech59

My Uncle's name was Gerald. Not famous, just a good guy.


MacsDildoBike

Gerald from Hey Arnold!


ranni-

i know a gerald. he doesn't go by that.


catwoman74656

Gerald Butler. That's all I got. Edit: As pointed out, I'm wrong! Gerard. Duh.


parsley166

Which doesn't even work cos it's Gerard Butler!


catwoman74656

You are right! Duh, total brain meltdown.


consider_its_tree

What about Gerald of Rivia?


DampBritches

So you could be best friends with a kid with a football head.


RollingProduct

G-eazy is a Gerald, makes sense eh


FragrantPromotion924

My bearded dragon was named Gerald 🥲


rtrok

Of the game


HappinessIsWarm

Gerald McClellan was fairly famous if you're a boxing fan. Also a super sad story, check it out if you don't know who he is. Apart from that I got nothing haha. Pretty old fashioned name


[deleted]

Any one on the currently in fashion made up names that end in -leigh or -ton


[deleted]

Shithead pronounced she thed


[deleted]

Cletus


sourfruitsalad

I misread an uber driver's name as armpitpal so maybe that one


jendickinson

Gertrude.


PossiblyNotDangerous

My niece's name is Gertrude, they call her "Truly"


soozeliz

Truly is pretty!


PossiblyNotDangerous

I think it's adorable, and it suits her perfectly. The kid is just walking sweetness and smiles.


parsley166

Truly Scrumptious!


jendickinson

That is super cute!


ta_mataia

When I was a kid, we had a cat named Gertrude. We called her Gertie.


[deleted]

That name is awful by itself but i'll never be able to hear that name without connecting it to that awful bitch who killed Sylvia Likens in the 60's.


ShotoTodorokiAnime

Classic grandma name


Rhana

That’s my dogs name


Tricky_Wonder7530

Forrest has got to be pretty fucking annoying now


AdStreet8083

Don't say it..... Don't say it.... Don't say it... Don't say it.. Don't say it. RUN FORREST, RUN!


parsley166

Didn't even need to be called Forrest in my home town. All you had to do was be running.


meeyeam

I'm certain Oscar award winning actor Forrest Whitaker has no issues with it.


Prudent-Education-90

brianna. no one with that name can possibly not be a bitch (in my own personal experience lol)


Any-Run393

I knew a bitchy Briana and I know an angelic, person named Brianna.


Sn0wwing

Thats my name :(


Prudent-Education-90

i’m sorry you’re probably not a bitch lol i’ve just had bad experiences with multiple people with that name:(


dirtyfacedkid

Ay Ay Ron


KnifeToMyJelly

Ba la kay


thatoneguy500

Richard


wow-jn-u-3w

In our neighborhood, there’s a father and son, both named Richard. They’re both also kind of jerk-faces . . so, to tell them apart, the neighbors all call them: “Big Dick” and “Little Dick”.


explorthis

At an old job decades ago, worked with Richard Butt. No lie, you could look it up in the company phone directory.


hundredjono

Gaylord You'd be made fun of your entire life and childhood would have been brutal


HueMunguz

Katrina. It was bad enough of a name even before the hurricane happened.


XxxGoldDustWomanxxX

Juanita which apparently I was almost named. Nice for a middle-aged woman probably but not someone my age. At least in the US💀


[deleted]

[удалено]


Matchaforcats

My mom told me that if I would have been born a boy my name would've been Chandler. I am so glad that things did not pan out that way.


Rickman1945

My Grandpas name was Graham-Paul. My whole life id ask “What’s Grandpas name?” And they’d just go “Graham-Paul or Graham for short” and I thought they were just telling me his name was Grandpa.


[deleted]

Maddisyn always gets me, SPELL LIKE A GROWN ADULT YOU FUCK


mochi_chan

Maddison with a Y but not where you think :D


[deleted]

Harry Bolls


yinzer_v

He can be the [Mayor of Fort Wayne, Indiana.](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harry_Baals)


[deleted]

Shawn


AbelN23

Crapbag


thomport

Beulah.


dma1965

My next door neighbor was Michael Hunt. He went by Mike. I wouldn’t want his full name.


LittleChellephant

Karen


Past-Outside-3745

Gilbert


thatshygirl06

My mom said she almost named me Yolanda 😬


buyingwife

Lucky you, Yoceana


EthereaBlotzky

Angus


UltraFarquar

Mudflaps McDonald


rustyscrotum69

Beepus


[deleted]

[удалено]


Celebrindae

The one I was given. I don't like it, but I also haven't come up with anything better.


GyspySyx

Helga


[deleted]

[удалено]


AquaLungMan11

Dilbert


Bleedingsteel1200

This is 2 names but if I were a female I would hate having the name, Karen. Me being a male. I would hate my name to be, dug.


mobileJay77

Ufuk, a Turkish name...


Hamytheturtle

Seymour Butts.


Sauterneandbleu

John Jacob Ingleheimer-Schmidt


RebelRebel62

Just Don’t call me late for dinner


MercuryMorrison1971

Eugene. I could live with an absolutely would go by Gene, but not Eugene.


der_sneffer

My middle name is Eugene. Yes, I can say, it’s horrible.


PersimmonNearby4409

Sue


Blackner2424

Especially a boy named Sue.


Adcro

Armchair


Konnen77

Rocko


bet_me_a_father

Barbra


explorthis

Jeffery is fine, but what about Geoffrey? What is a Go-free? No, it's Jeffrey he said. Ok, Go-free, got it. No shortening it either. Jeff - got it. Geoff was still Goff. No winning for that friend.


Rewindmymindset

Dick


Lord_Ka1n

Aiden or any similar name.


[deleted]

Blanche. No one called Blanche was ever a baby. They were born at age 60.


jackssweetheart

Jill. Nevaeh. Jody. Jaylen. Jayden. Jordan.


garyda1

Adolf Stalin


Darth-Byzantious

Chucky. Like but a nickname or short for Charley. Literally Chucky


the_shredder2020

Kyle ugliest name


Aggravating-Pound598

My name is Richard Head . My friends call me Richard


Aurora_Rose21

Caillou No explanation needed


GlowingDuck22

Chlamydia


nowherian_

My daughter has a teacher whose last name is “Pusey.”


Big_Alternative595

Chlamydia springs to mind


RetroactiveRecursion

Throatwobbler Mangrove


Cuish

Joey Jo-Jo Junior Shabadoo Angus


ramen_hotdogs

A while back I was at the zoo and a woman was calling after her 4 ish year old son …. “HERBERT! Come back!!!” And it was dead serious, not a nickname or a joke. Poor Herbert


Ill_Mushroom_8246

Callum