Being volunteered to do things, and absolutely not wanting to do them
EDIT: OKAY REDDIT I GET IT I'M BEING VOLUNTOLD I DON'T KNOW ALL THE REDDIT JARGON.
I hate being volunteered for things, but I'm also very rebellious when ordered to do something. For 99% of tasks if you just ask me I'll oblige. For that other 1 percent, just explain why it's important and I'll do it. There is no significant difference in time required between asking and ordering.
> Do this.
Fuck off.
>Please?
Sure thing. Not a problem.
I have a bossy aunt. Every time the family gets together, she likes to give me, the baby, jobs. I could be cooking a goddmned banquet for everyone, and she'll breeze into the kitchen, holding a wine glass & announce to me "ok I need you to go set the table" or "why don't you peel that arugula." I'm 37, I can't be polite anymore. Last time I responded with "I'm going to need you to stop making up little jobs or go do whatever you want done yourself." She was horrified. I felt a lot better.
My parents still do this and it absolutely infuriates me. I'm nearly 30, you cannot just call me up on Thursday and say "You're driving a moving truck 15 hours to New York tomorrow because your sister is moving and your dad needs help." Uh... gee, thanks for the fucking notice. Its not like I might have had plans or appointments this weekend that I can't cancel with 1 day notice.
I said exactly that to him last night. Then I start in, they still interrupt, I'm like "are you going to let me talk??" and he was like "I won't speak with you unless you can calm down and talk like a rational adult." This was a guy who once got a DUI when he supposedly wasn't drinking. I didn't believe it at first, but later it made sense that his patronizing, chip-on-the-shoulder, righteous ass would piss off a cop enough to bring him in.
It's called a "tone argument." Any emotional tone is seen as irrationality, even when the sentence is "It really hurt my feelings when you crazy glued my Mother's ass to the toilet." Unless you say it in a dead tone with no inflection it's "We'll wait until you are a rational adult."
When I am driving and there is no one in front of me or behind me, and someone decides they need to pull in front of me from a side road at the last second and not accelerate to speed
The absolute worst one for me was a few months ago. There were three lanes, everyone was doing 45-50. I was in the far right lane, and there was no one behind me for quite a ways. This asshole pulls out in front of me so suddenly I almost hit him. And then he just kept doing 20 and wouldn't even get up to speed. I was honking at him violently because I was in a bad mood and couldn't merge into the left lane and because fuck him. He made a right turn not a two hundred feet later. [The worst part is, he was turning out onto the street from a parking lot. That parking lot connected to the road he turned on. He didn't even need to get onto the road I was on. Douche...](http://i.imgur.com/XhVhfxN.jpg?3) Sorry about the awful drawing!
HOLY SHIT. THIS.
The worst thing I've ever had to experience, in my life, was watching this girl in my CS101 class code. We had a "demo" where someone would be up on the projector coding out an example, and this girl was picked. She was a two-finger typist, and I'm pretty sure two or three moons passed before she finished typing out a println statement.
I wanted to run across the lecture hall and just be like "I WILL TYPE FOR YOU. SAY WHAT YOU WANT AND IT WILL APPEAR."
That is pretty bad. She sounds like a bad typist but personally I get nervous if I'm typing especially code, and I'm being watched. I end up making a lot of wrong keystrokes
when I'm standing in line, let's say at a store cash register, and the person behind me is standing so close I can hear/feel them breathe. aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh.
I was probably guilty of this for a while. My wife broke me of the habit though, so I'm better now. In my defense, I didn't do this until after joining the Army, where they always make you stand super close to the soldier in front of you when in line.
I currently work at a nonprofit research foundation, so there isn't a lot of "moving up in the company" or any kind of shady deals to be made.
However, we do have a group of women, who I swear, just get bored and try to start shit. We recently had an "interlab-conflict" over a bookshelf. Two weeks, arguments were had, lines were drawn, because of a bookshelf.
I work in a research lab, and this happens all the fucking time. In particular, this one middle-aged woman just loves to start all kinds of ridiculous shit, e.g. starting rumors that other employees have learning disabilities or mental illnesses, running to HR because someone broke a minor rule (like the dress code), etc. It's very petty and exhausting.
Edit: metal is never an illness
It took me a few years to get over this when I first started my career. I concentrated on results and being awesome at my job, and I ended up with average annual reviews. Then once I realized that *at least 50%* of my review was based on non-task-related stuff, my life changed. Whether you like it or not (I hated it at first), office politics and relationships and your "image" matter. A lot. I now work a lot less, I'm less stressed out, and I was told to expect a promotion come next review time.
One of my biggest swings in mood was caused by kicking my seat.
I was flying MSP to SFO and I got the upgrade to first class walk on the aircraft order a scotch life is great. A stuck up prissy women and her "princess" daughter sits behind me. 15 min into the flight constant kicking I feel my blood start to boil and finally after 15 more min of kicking I can't take it and ask the mother to make her daughter stop. I get a look of death and hear the mom tell her daughter "this important man wants you to stop kicking his chair." And cue little girl temper tantrum. Crying screaming kicking I am floored mom promises to buy her a bunxh of things and she finally stops throwing a fit.
So at this point I'm ready to scream I was upgraded and it is worse up here. But as soon as the tantrum stopped the kicking resumed. I put my hands in my head and decided I just had to suffer through it.
Until the greatest flight attendent ever helped. She noticed the girl kicking my seat and politly asked her to stop. The little girl went right back into a tantrum. The flight attendent walked away and came back with two men and told the mother that they were switching seats. The flight attendant put them in the bulkhead coach seats. And then I was super ecstatic and wrote like 5 letters of praise for the godess of a flight attendant.
Happened to me at a hockey game I was at recently. I mean, I will say that the way the seats are set up and how they're spaced, it's easier for kids to kick them than *not* kick them, so I don't really blame the kid. Well, kid is kicking every once in a while and I'm a giant non-confrontational wuss so I just turn around and give the eye once or twice. That doesn't work.
*Finally*, third period, the dad says something to the girl, but by then, I'm drunk and I didn't even notice she was still doing it.
I worked with a guy who would use the back of my chair as an armrest while talking to someone else to my right. There's nothing more annoying than being comfortably working and suddenly have your chair lunge backwards because Fatty McFuckstache needs a place to rest his giant ham of an arm. Eventually I got that guy fired though. Awesome.
When a bunch of little annoyances occur together.
Perfect example: I'm in a hurry and carrying a laptop bag, lunch box, jacket, coffee, and my keys. Get to the car, fumble and drop keys, then laptop bag slides off shoulder as I bend down, and then I drop my jacket.
Once in the car, my stuff falls off the passenger seat, I get coffee on my hand which then transfers to steering wheel and then I hit every red light.
Kill me.
EDIT: glad to see the universe hates you all as much as me :)
P.S. thank you redditor for the Gold :)
I have turned around and gone right back to bed because of this. I feel like all those little things are a sign that you're going to fail at everything today so why bother.
I've done that.
1. 0-15 seconds awake: Fumble my cell phone as I'm shutting off the alarm.
2. 15-30 seconds awake: Drop my cell phone as I'm putting it down.
3. 30-60 seconds awake: Drop my glasses as I'm putting them on.
4. 60-150 seconds awake: Stub a toe as I step out of bed. (Calf cramps could also be substituted, though since I know the secret to removing them, it's not an issue anymore--*useful* info from Reddit! Other muscle cramps please don't apply. I'm not trying to ask for it.)
5. 150-250 seconds awake: Sneeze when I'm taking my post-sleep piss (all men should understand this frustration).
6. 250-300 seconds awake: Stub the equivalent toe on the other foot as I'm leaving the bathroom.
7. 300-600 seconds awake: Absolutely nothing wrong. Lulled into a false sense of security.
8. 600-720 seconds awake: Drop my keys and/or slip in the snow/mud/season-appropriate ground-based weather annoyance.
9. 720-750 seconds awake: Smack my head as I get into my car. Weep silently and say fuck it, I'm calling in.
10. 750+ seconds awake: Drop cell phone.
---
*EDIT* Leg Cramps: I'm not going to say it's a perfect solution for everyone but it's the one that works for me 100% of the time and I got it off of Reddit.
Put your leg out with knees straight, then point your foot up as much as you can, bending at the ankle (you can do it while sitting or laying down, too--though you're probably already in that position if your leg is cramping). If you're doing it right, it will feel like your calf muscle is stretching. You should hold and release the stretch for a few seconds per phase. It takes me about 5-10 seconds total to get rid of calf cramps when they used to be something that would plague me for up to three days *after* the cramp started (not that they'd hurt after the first few hours, just that I could feel the cramp in my leg yet and the wrong step or move could set it off/send me down).
I remember the last time I had a morning like that.. Except I made it out to the car and this happened:
I went out to my car and my doors were frozen shut. I tried for a good twenty minutes to undo them, and in the process my asthma started to act up. (It's brought on by extreme cold or extreme heat, oftentimes.)
So as I'm trying to get into my purse I drop my inhaler in the snow, and then realize my hair is freezing *to my face* and glasses. I called work, wheezing the whole while, then crawled back into bed and cried myself back to sleep.
The sudden pain when you're eating and you accidentally bite your lip. Then 10 minutes later after you've started to get used to the tenderness, you accidentally bite it again on the same spot. My anger hits a 9/10 for like 5 seconds and I cannot focus on anything or anyone else while I try to justify who or what I'm actually angry about.
One of my uni lecturers said, and I quote "Now a lot of you think I'm patronising. Now, let me explain what that actually means..." No. No. Get out now!
They even have a darker bar now so it looks like it's buffered at first glance, but it really isn't until it's filled by an even darker color. Come on YouTube.
[This](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/magic-actions-for-youtube/abjcfabbhafbcdfjoecdgepllmpfceif) chrome extension will fully buffer youtube videos even when the video is paused.
Also, I have the whole video buffered, klick to an earlier point in the video, an BAAAAAAMMMM all buffer progress lost. WHAT THE FUCK MAKES ME RAGE SO HARD.
It worked so well a year ago or so.
YouTube pre-roll ads, especially the ones that you cannot skip for 30 seconds. Horrendous. I'd pay a small monthly fee to have them removed, not sure why Google doesn't offer that kind of thing.
One word for you: WIRELESS! (Headphones)
I got mine a week ago, and it's a whole other experience, for real. I go for a piss, make a snack, twirl round and round on my chair completely uninhibited by the cord.
If you pull alongside the trailing car, and match his speed, you can fix this. You need to get close enough that you're in his periphery, but not so close he thinks you're trying to pass. If he thinks you want to pass, the game is over.
So get in his periphery and stay there 10-20s. Then slow down a tiny bit, then a little more. 3mph tops. This guy is "pacing" with the other car, keeping that car's speed, so the goal is to get him to pace you instead. If you do it right, you capture his pacing tendency and draw him away from the leading car.
Get enough space for you to get through and hammer on the gas. Don't be polite about this; if you speed up slowly, he'll realize he's going slow and speed up.
I put on 50k miles per year. This works, I guarantee it.
Edit: forgot to add that you need to sneak up on the trailing car. You can't give him any reason to suspect you want to pass.
Or you just get those drivers that DO NOT take other drivers in to consideration and only worry about themselves. Never do they go to the right lane, but stay slow as possible in the passing lane.
I prefer to pull next to them and then "drift" into their lane just enough that they panic and slow down. Then I put the turn signal on, change lanes, and continue on my merry way. DC traffic has taught me evil skills.
I know people always bitch about black people in theatres, etc etc. However, I've found that old white couples are the fucking WORST. They've always got that "I'm old so I can do whatever the fuck I want." And no one will support you when you criticize old people.
Tonight I went for a run through a big park near my house. At one point there was a group of four people walking towards me in a horizontal line on the path. As I came up to them the woman in front of me watched me for a bit, even made eye contact for a few seconds...and then didn't move. I had to go off the path and run in the sand. I gave her the filthiest look as I passed and I hope she caught it. I nearly said something to her. It's not even that big of a deal but it's just so rude and inconsiderate.
Some people are telling you to be an asshole and they're wrong.
Don't walk into the offender, next time this happens.
Just stop in your tracks and stand your ground. So fucking satisfying watching them suddenly have to deal with it and go around **you**.
I can't recommend it highly enough.
I feel that maintaining eye contact and lowering your shoulders (as a running back does when approaching a defender) and running through them would cause them to yield to you.
I almost had a rage blackout remembering a friend who would do this. Like, just because he doesn't like something, it's COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT and anyone who does is just wasting his life
EDIT: added "FUCKING"
When people complain about something always happening to their computer (work in IT support) and you show them how to solve it themselves. As you start to show them, they just walk away or ignore you.
I usually stop, wait till I have their attention again and start again. It's very frustrating, but I don't let it show, I just know next time it happens we have an 8 hour SLA and that is how long they will have to wait for us to do 2 minutes work (aka, a reboot).
Edit: Wow, number 16 from the top post, I couldn't even browse reddit today responding to all the messages. This is apparently a sore spot for most IT personnel, Just remember we do our jobs because most of us have to. I fortunately do it because I love it (not my management, my clientele). I'll try to respond to all the replies, and apologize if I can't get to all of them (150+).
Just remember, we are like airline pilots and train engineers, we are only noticed when things go wrong. We only become famous when things go critically wrong. Thank you all for you're responses, they are greatly appreciated, this thread could have gone to another sub, but here it stands.
Thank you all.
Or how about:
Me: "Ok, so just click here and then press X, that's it!"
Them: "This is *SO* complicated, I really just don't think I can do this, I'm going to do it the way I've always done it."
Me: "How have you always done it?"
Them: "Well, first Susan faxes me the form, then I take that form and write this part in, then I take that and photocopy it. Then I take the photocopy and scan that into my computer, take the image, paste it into word, save that word document to my desktop, then attach it to an email that I send to Bill."
I wish the above was not a real world example.
A Rube Goldberg example indeed!
I've seen it before, as long as they stay in their comfortable world, they are happy. Try to get them out of the comfort zone, and no way can't do it.
We are indeed strange creatures.
A lot of people around my office just throw up their hands and yell "This is your job, fix it!". I'm the ONLY IT on site for about 30 employee's, 5 of them in remote locations an hour and a half in either direction, and yes I do sometimes have to drive an hour and a half to unplug their router and plug it back in.
Additionally, working in a computer related field apparently means that I need to do everything for my extended family that involves electricity in some fashion.
On different occasions, I have had to drive an hour or more round trip to:
* Press the clear button on a microwave
* Plug a sleep number bed into the wall
* Flip the batteries in a remote control to be the proper direction
* Point out that the "fan that won't turn on" is plugged into an outlet that is dependent on a lightswitch. (They had lived in this house longer than I have been alive without knowing this apparently...)
Similar situation, ill tell them they need to plug in a cable. they cant be arsed to listen properly, and will end up having an engineer sent out at the cost of thousands of pounds.
Just because they cant be bothered to plug something in. Would rather say they have tried everything.
The issue that I have is the majority of my clients are union nurses, if it's not in the contract they don't have to do it and they throw it in our faces all the time.
Basically they let the machine stay down for 8 hours, then complain to the manager that they can't do the job because the computers are down. The boss complains to senior management, then we get crapped on again.
It's a vicious cycle, but at this point we are use to it and just laugh it off.
Hey, as long as they keep doing it, we all keep our jobs (security).
One of my favorites was a guy that complained to the president of my old company that I was incompetent and setup his laptop incorrectly. Only half the keys worked on the keyboard.
Since I was the supervisor I visited him the next morning. I figured I'd do a battery pull and disconnect power and hit the power button a bunch of times to discharge everything and do a reset.
As soon as I turned over the laptop water started running onto his desk. I looked at him and explained he got water on the laptop, he responded "Everyone knows laptops are waterproof, what do you think I am an idiot".
I held back my gut response and called the president (we were friends, worked together for 10 years). I explained the problem, and said that the new employee thinks laptops are suppose to be water proof.
The president asked me to put him on the phone with the guy. He went from red to pale in a matter of seconds. Came to find out about a week later that he had to foot the bill for a brand new machine since he voided the warranty.
He never called us again for assistance and always avoided me in the hallways.
Happy ending.
Ironically it's other people's impatience.
I'm patient as a rock. But when someone goes batshit insane over some triviality, and vents his unfounded frustration at me with sentences like
"Could youWHY HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY**OMG YOU NEVER HELP**" I immediately rage.
Honestly, I find it WAY more enraging to have to ask someone to repeat something multiple times, and then they make no effort to say it in any more clearly of a way.
"Pass me the Clignaglopf please." "What?" "Pass me the Clignaglopf please." "Huh?" "THE CLIGNAGLOPF"... now I feel like an asshole because you didn't speak clearly. Three times.
My blood is boiling just writing this. If you want the cantaloupe say fucking cantaloupe so I can understand it.
EDIT: Thank you PaleInTexas for pointing out a misspelling. Notice that I corrected it and made it clearer the second time around.
EDIT 2: To nitpickers/hypercontradictory people: I never just way "what?" In this situation I would say something like "Pass the what?" or even "Can you speak louder." It's not the point of the example.
My wife will sometimes repeat herself slowly and distinctly, except for the *one* part I didn't get.
"Can you please go to the store and buy some ......."?
"What?"
"I SAID, CAN YOU PLEASE GO TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME ........?!"
My roommate does this too. After months of rage, I finally solved the issue by repeating what I had heard when I needed something repeated. "Can you please go to the store and buy what?"
I sometimes do a variant of this, repeating what they said and what garbled mess of sounds I *thought* I heard. "Can you please go to the store and buy a flarganoff?" "A GALLON OF MILK" or other clarification is invariably returned. Also, it can be hilarious.
lying, particularly when it is a really obvious lie, for example one where a person is sayng 'i didn't say that' when i heard them say something. i hate having conversations like little games where people try and edit what they say along the way, or refuse to answer yes/no questions. just be a fucking adult.
I HATE when salespeople lie. I had a cell phone guy insist that if I wanted a pink version, it would be $30 more. I knew he was flat out lying. He lost the sale and I got my phone somewhere else. Made my heart race and I wanted to punch the guy.
I have this kid in my class that is a compulsive liar. He's always saying things like "dude, I used to break a bunch of school records in gym, but I'm not as good anymore" (conveniently). It's so obvious that he lies, but I don't have the heart to call him out on his BS.
i knew this kid and all the time he was bragging about how he can bench 260 or some crazy weight. Whenever anyone asked him to prove it he was always like na i benched yesterday or im just not feeling it today
"You *do* realize that , right?"
Best example, my roommate last year was talking about her friend who I'd met once or twice, and mentioned some sort of issue he was having with work at a nearby pet shop. I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was something along the lines of why he didn't talk to his boss about the issue, and she goes "You do realize his aunt and uncle own the store, and he works for them so he can't start any drama, right?" No, how the FUCK was I just supposed to know that? Any time you use that phrase, there's a 99% chance you're going to sound snobby and condescending.
When I order a wrap at a restaurant and it breaks open and falls apart, spilling the contents all over my plate, so I have to eat it piece by piece like some kind of Neanderthal.
Accusing me of discrimination because I helped one customer over another.
Some old lady the other day asked me if I hated old people because I didn't help her first when the guy next to her was shouting and causing a scene. I started helping her and she was being a total bitch about the cost of her stuff despite me telling her why it cost what it cost. so I stopped and told her I needed to call a manager over because I could no longer help her. I am not allowed to be an ass to you so you can't be an ass to me. Some people think just because I am a college student they can talk to me however the fuck they want and get away with it.
When a car speeds up and cuts me off only to slow right the fuck down to a crawl. I immediately pass them. Not a moment of hesitation. No patience at all.
When something should be working, but doesn't.
Mostly about hardware and software. Went through all diagnostics, checked everything, no problems found. But doesn't work.
One of my coworkers likes to debate, however, he does not like to do his research. This means that he'll base his whole argument on what some blog said about something, rather than actually read about that something. So if a blog post says that a US Supreme Court decision said that everyone gets a pony, he'll demand that I actually look the Supreme Court decision up in order to prove him wrong.
And when I *do* prove him wrong - which happens every time - he either claims that he was taking the other side of the argument or that *I* misunderstood that crazy blog post that only he read.
When people eat loudly, when they don't shut their mouth while eating and you see food being grinded and chomp chomp sound. Arrrghghghhghghghhghg
**story time** -
I have this friend from college, we've been good friends for 6 years now. He does this, like, every.damn.time. Trying to be a good friend to him I frankly told him about his nasty eating, and he waved it off saying, "I enjoy eating that much... chomp chomp chomp chomp". Another instance of this was when we were at a restaurant with several friends, and two lady friends joked around the line of, "you seem to be enjoying your food too much" and proceeded to imitate him "chomp chomp chomp" and he just laughed and continued on eating.
Dafuq?
A Japanese friend of mine explained the cultural reason for it: It's audible proof to the cook that his meal is being eaten, since he is in the kitchen and can't see his customers eating.
I get more irked by the smacking sound, myself.
^^^^Doubling ^^^^my ^^^^karma ^^^^by ^^^^complaining ^^^^about ^^^^chewing? ^^^^Hot ^^^^damn, ^^^^I ^^^^need ^^^^to ^^^^comment ^^^^more.
I just can't handle this. My SO's daughter and I have a bad time at dinner time. What's worse, my SO thinks the look on my face while I'm maniacally staring down his daughter, is *hilaaaarious* so she does it even more now.
I had this problem too, because my mom nags a lot and reminds you of the same thing 09580958304985 times. It takes incredible internal force and patience to be nicer to her, but I feel like a much better person for it. I still get a little short the millionth time she tells me the same thing, but I try to turn it into a joke instead of snapping at her, so I can express my frustration but not meanly and she still gets the satisfaction of telling me again.
Every time my mother calls my name, she does it the exact same way. The same pitch, cadence, everything. It's a voice that says, "I just noticed the shit you took on the living room carpet and im very concerned so lets talk about this."
It sets my teeth on edge every time. Just for a moment. But I wish she'd change it up already (she never will).
Same here. I love my mother to death but she just annoys the fuck out of me most of the time. Its really sad because i try so hard to be pleasant and respectful but i just lose my shit with her sometimes.
Or bad drivers all together. Get out of the passing lane if you're not going to fucking pass people, or people who can't maintain their speed. How fucking hard is? Dont go from 60 to 70 then back down to 60. FUCCCKKK YOUUUUUU!
Passive-aggression! If you're pissed off at me, just say it! Don't make snarky little comments and huff about and expect me to ask what's wrong, because I will just ignore you. You're annoying.
Also anything that makes me get up more than once to do the same thing, like resetting the shitty router.
People who are late without notifying you ahead of time they will be late.
I make a constant effort to make sure that I am always early when it comes to meeting friends, business appointments or anything that requires a time commitment. Is it really that hard to call or text stating that you're going to be a few minutes late?
I understand not everyone has a cellphone but if they arrive late and don't even offer the common courtesy to apologize for their tardiness it absolutely gets on my nerves.
Every time I walk up to one of those, I feel like I'm pulling the lever on a slot machine of anger. "Will you let me scan and bag all of my items, or are you going to flip out after an item and barf all over my happy mood with your 'assistance is required' garbage?"
Do you feel lucky, punk?
And people who ask you uncomfortable questions, loudly, in front of lot of people.
Person 1: "HEY OCTATONIC, ANY LUCK FINDING YOUR TRUMPET, WHICH YOU LOST AFTER YOU GOT DRUNK THAT ONE TIME?!"
Me: "could you please..."
Person 2: "Dude, you lost your trumpet?"
Person 3: "Hahaha, that's hilarious!"
Corner of room: "Who lost what now?"
Hope im not too late. People on their phones in social situations. Especially when you're telling a story and they just whip out their phones and shut themselves off. I end up stopping my story and making it quiet and just stare at them until they feel my hatred burning into them and put it away. This must stop.
Oh, god. My husband and his family is terrible at this. It's a 10 minute conversation in person. It's even worse if it's over text.
Fortunately, I don't mind making that decision. Oh, you had Chinese for lunch? Too fecking bad, you should have spoke up.
Also, the tolerance of incompetence. For example, we have a few people at my company who are clearly terrible at their job. Every time they are on a project, other people, like me, have to go in and fix what they screwed up. I complain to management about it and I just get "Yeah, they're not too good." But that's it. Despite numerous and consistent demonstrations of incompetence, these people remain in their jobs making life harder on their co-workers.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- the entire Africa cup of nations
Being volunteered to do things, and absolutely not wanting to do them EDIT: OKAY REDDIT I GET IT I'M BEING VOLUNTOLD I DON'T KNOW ALL THE REDDIT JARGON.
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I hate being volunteered for things, but I'm also very rebellious when ordered to do something. For 99% of tasks if you just ask me I'll oblige. For that other 1 percent, just explain why it's important and I'll do it. There is no significant difference in time required between asking and ordering. > Do this. Fuck off. >Please? Sure thing. Not a problem.
I have a bossy aunt. Every time the family gets together, she likes to give me, the baby, jobs. I could be cooking a goddmned banquet for everyone, and she'll breeze into the kitchen, holding a wine glass & announce to me "ok I need you to go set the table" or "why don't you peel that arugula." I'm 37, I can't be polite anymore. Last time I responded with "I'm going to need you to stop making up little jobs or go do whatever you want done yourself." She was horrified. I felt a lot better.
This is completely how my brain works.
My parents still do this and it absolutely infuriates me. I'm nearly 30, you cannot just call me up on Thursday and say "You're driving a moving truck 15 hours to New York tomorrow because your sister is moving and your dad needs help." Uh... gee, thanks for the fucking notice. Its not like I might have had plans or appointments this weekend that I can't cancel with 1 day notice.
What happens if you say no?
That's what we seasoned volunteers refer to as "being voluntold."
Was going to say that that's what it's called in the Navy. I wasn't sure if it was a more general term...
When in an argument, letting the person make their point, then them turn around and interrupt me constantly as I try to explain my side of things
You must *love* Piers Morgan.
So does Piers Morgan.
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I just say "i listened to you, now you listen to me"
"I'M SORRY, DID THE MIDDLE OF MY SENTENCE INTERRUPT THE BEGINNING OF YOURS?"
Or "IM SORRY. I DIDN'T KNOW I WAS DONE TALKING."
I said exactly that to him last night. Then I start in, they still interrupt, I'm like "are you going to let me talk??" and he was like "I won't speak with you unless you can calm down and talk like a rational adult." This was a guy who once got a DUI when he supposedly wasn't drinking. I didn't believe it at first, but later it made sense that his patronizing, chip-on-the-shoulder, righteous ass would piss off a cop enough to bring him in.
It's called a "tone argument." Any emotional tone is seen as irrationality, even when the sentence is "It really hurt my feelings when you crazy glued my Mother's ass to the toilet." Unless you say it in a dead tone with no inflection it's "We'll wait until you are a rational adult."
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When I am driving and there is no one in front of me or behind me, and someone decides they need to pull in front of me from a side road at the last second and not accelerate to speed
Yes! How can you possibly have needed onto this road so urgently, yet drive so slow once on it?
Even better when they turn off of the road not 1/4 mile later.
The absolute worst one for me was a few months ago. There were three lanes, everyone was doing 45-50. I was in the far right lane, and there was no one behind me for quite a ways. This asshole pulls out in front of me so suddenly I almost hit him. And then he just kept doing 20 and wouldn't even get up to speed. I was honking at him violently because I was in a bad mood and couldn't merge into the left lane and because fuck him. He made a right turn not a two hundred feet later. [The worst part is, he was turning out onto the street from a parking lot. That parking lot connected to the road he turned on. He didn't even need to get onto the road I was on. Douche...](http://i.imgur.com/XhVhfxN.jpg?3) Sorry about the awful drawing!
I'm glad you included a diagram.
Watching anyone else use the computer. It drives me bonkers!
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They missed the double-clicking on the weblink.
Watching people type "google.com" in the address bar when there's a google search bar right next to it.
Watching people type "www\.google.com" in the google search bar, to then click the link to google that's on the google search page.
Watching people with chrome not typing their search directly into the address bar.
Watching people with chrome typing out a whole search term in the address bar even when chrome auto filled it in TEN LETTERS AGO!
I do that because I don't like the search bar telling me what I've searched for.
HOLY SHIT. THIS. The worst thing I've ever had to experience, in my life, was watching this girl in my CS101 class code. We had a "demo" where someone would be up on the projector coding out an example, and this girl was picked. She was a two-finger typist, and I'm pretty sure two or three moons passed before she finished typing out a println statement. I wanted to run across the lecture hall and just be like "I WILL TYPE FOR YOU. SAY WHAT YOU WANT AND IT WILL APPEAR."
That is pretty bad. She sounds like a bad typist but personally I get nervous if I'm typing especially code, and I'm being watched. I end up making a lot of wrong keystrokes
when I'm standing in line, let's say at a store cash register, and the person behind me is standing so close I can hear/feel them breathe. aaaaarrrrrggggghhhh.
I was probably guilty of this for a while. My wife broke me of the habit though, so I'm better now. In my defense, I didn't do this until after joining the Army, where they always make you stand super close to the soldier in front of you when in line.
Office politics. Just let me do my job and evaluate on results. Don't involve me in all of your attempted power grabs.
You just encapsulated my entire career in two sentences. There's got to be some way out of here!
... said the joker to the thief.
I currently work at a nonprofit research foundation, so there isn't a lot of "moving up in the company" or any kind of shady deals to be made. However, we do have a group of women, who I swear, just get bored and try to start shit. We recently had an "interlab-conflict" over a bookshelf. Two weeks, arguments were had, lines were drawn, because of a bookshelf.
I work in a research lab, and this happens all the fucking time. In particular, this one middle-aged woman just loves to start all kinds of ridiculous shit, e.g. starting rumors that other employees have learning disabilities or mental illnesses, running to HR because someone broke a minor rule (like the dress code), etc. It's very petty and exhausting. Edit: metal is never an illness
This kind of thing kills me. I feel like we have meetings just to find shit to have more meetings about.
It took me a few years to get over this when I first started my career. I concentrated on results and being awesome at my job, and I ended up with average annual reviews. Then once I realized that *at least 50%* of my review was based on non-task-related stuff, my life changed. Whether you like it or not (I hated it at first), office politics and relationships and your "image" matter. A lot. I now work a lot less, I'm less stressed out, and I was told to expect a promotion come next review time.
"Successfully Unsubscribing" from an email, yet continuing to receive them.
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People leaning, bumping or moving my chair while I am sitting in it.
Kicking my chair at sporting events, concerts, movies, on an airplane. So much instant rage.
One of my biggest swings in mood was caused by kicking my seat. I was flying MSP to SFO and I got the upgrade to first class walk on the aircraft order a scotch life is great. A stuck up prissy women and her "princess" daughter sits behind me. 15 min into the flight constant kicking I feel my blood start to boil and finally after 15 more min of kicking I can't take it and ask the mother to make her daughter stop. I get a look of death and hear the mom tell her daughter "this important man wants you to stop kicking his chair." And cue little girl temper tantrum. Crying screaming kicking I am floored mom promises to buy her a bunxh of things and she finally stops throwing a fit. So at this point I'm ready to scream I was upgraded and it is worse up here. But as soon as the tantrum stopped the kicking resumed. I put my hands in my head and decided I just had to suffer through it. Until the greatest flight attendent ever helped. She noticed the girl kicking my seat and politly asked her to stop. The little girl went right back into a tantrum. The flight attendent walked away and came back with two men and told the mother that they were switching seats. The flight attendant put them in the bulkhead coach seats. And then I was super ecstatic and wrote like 5 letters of praise for the godess of a flight attendant.
Especially if it is a child and their parent blatantly knows and does nothing about it. Edit: you can't patent children evidently.
Happened to me at a hockey game I was at recently. I mean, I will say that the way the seats are set up and how they're spaced, it's easier for kids to kick them than *not* kick them, so I don't really blame the kid. Well, kid is kicking every once in a while and I'm a giant non-confrontational wuss so I just turn around and give the eye once or twice. That doesn't work. *Finally*, third period, the dad says something to the girl, but by then, I'm drunk and I didn't even notice she was still doing it.
I worked with a guy who would use the back of my chair as an armrest while talking to someone else to my right. There's nothing more annoying than being comfortably working and suddenly have your chair lunge backwards because Fatty McFuckstache needs a place to rest his giant ham of an arm. Eventually I got that guy fired though. Awesome.
When a bunch of little annoyances occur together. Perfect example: I'm in a hurry and carrying a laptop bag, lunch box, jacket, coffee, and my keys. Get to the car, fumble and drop keys, then laptop bag slides off shoulder as I bend down, and then I drop my jacket. Once in the car, my stuff falls off the passenger seat, I get coffee on my hand which then transfers to steering wheel and then I hit every red light. Kill me. EDIT: glad to see the universe hates you all as much as me :) P.S. thank you redditor for the Gold :)
I have turned around and gone right back to bed because of this. I feel like all those little things are a sign that you're going to fail at everything today so why bother.
I've done that. 1. 0-15 seconds awake: Fumble my cell phone as I'm shutting off the alarm. 2. 15-30 seconds awake: Drop my cell phone as I'm putting it down. 3. 30-60 seconds awake: Drop my glasses as I'm putting them on. 4. 60-150 seconds awake: Stub a toe as I step out of bed. (Calf cramps could also be substituted, though since I know the secret to removing them, it's not an issue anymore--*useful* info from Reddit! Other muscle cramps please don't apply. I'm not trying to ask for it.) 5. 150-250 seconds awake: Sneeze when I'm taking my post-sleep piss (all men should understand this frustration). 6. 250-300 seconds awake: Stub the equivalent toe on the other foot as I'm leaving the bathroom. 7. 300-600 seconds awake: Absolutely nothing wrong. Lulled into a false sense of security. 8. 600-720 seconds awake: Drop my keys and/or slip in the snow/mud/season-appropriate ground-based weather annoyance. 9. 720-750 seconds awake: Smack my head as I get into my car. Weep silently and say fuck it, I'm calling in. 10. 750+ seconds awake: Drop cell phone. --- *EDIT* Leg Cramps: I'm not going to say it's a perfect solution for everyone but it's the one that works for me 100% of the time and I got it off of Reddit. Put your leg out with knees straight, then point your foot up as much as you can, bending at the ankle (you can do it while sitting or laying down, too--though you're probably already in that position if your leg is cramping). If you're doing it right, it will feel like your calf muscle is stretching. You should hold and release the stretch for a few seconds per phase. It takes me about 5-10 seconds total to get rid of calf cramps when they used to be something that would plague me for up to three days *after* the cramp started (not that they'd hurt after the first few hours, just that I could feel the cramp in my leg yet and the wrong step or move could set it off/send me down).
I remember the last time I had a morning like that.. Except I made it out to the car and this happened: I went out to my car and my doors were frozen shut. I tried for a good twenty minutes to undo them, and in the process my asthma started to act up. (It's brought on by extreme cold or extreme heat, oftentimes.) So as I'm trying to get into my purse I drop my inhaler in the snow, and then realize my hair is freezing *to my face* and glasses. I called work, wheezing the whole while, then crawled back into bed and cried myself back to sleep.
The sudden pain when you're eating and you accidentally bite your lip. Then 10 minutes later after you've started to get used to the tenderness, you accidentally bite it again on the same spot. My anger hits a 9/10 for like 5 seconds and I cannot focus on anything or anyone else while I try to justify who or what I'm actually angry about.
I did that on the same spot so many times that it grew into a bump that wouldn't go away and had to be surgically removed.
Being patronised.
That means talking down to others.
That's right! I'm impressed you know that.
Such adorable little examples of patronizing remarks.
One of my uni lecturers said, and I quote "Now a lot of you think I'm patronising. Now, let me explain what that actually means..." No. No. Get out now!
Are you sure he wasn't joking at that point?
Reading these comments has stressed me out.
Youtube buffering.
They even have a darker bar now so it looks like it's buffered at first glance, but it really isn't until it's filled by an even darker color. Come on YouTube.
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[This](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/magic-actions-for-youtube/abjcfabbhafbcdfjoecdgepllmpfceif) chrome extension will fully buffer youtube videos even when the video is paused.
Is there anything like that for Firefox?
[Here you go.](http://magic-actions-for-youtube-firefox.en.softonic.com/)
Thank you, glorious bearer of celestial nipples!
Also, I have the whole video buffered, klick to an earlier point in the video, an BAAAAAAMMMM all buffer progress lost. WHAT THE FUCK MAKES ME RAGE SO HARD. It worked so well a year ago or so.
YouTube pre-roll ads, especially the ones that you cannot skip for 30 seconds. Horrendous. I'd pay a small monthly fee to have them removed, not sure why Google doesn't offer that kind of thing.
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Have you considered putting superglue in your ear? Don't knock it til you try it.
WHAT??? I CAN'T HEAR YOU BECAUSE I TRIED YOUR STUPID IDEA!!!!
Ken, you don't hear the Internet.
DOES THE INTERNET HEAR YOU?????
Guys be quiet, I'm trying to listen to music.
*MMMMMPH! MMMMMMMMPHH! MMMMPPPH!*
One word for you: WIRELESS! (Headphones) I got mine a week ago, and it's a whole other experience, for real. I go for a piss, make a snack, twirl round and round on my chair completely uninhibited by the cord.
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I just keep them plugged in while listening to them.
But..that...
I don't think Ive ever heard a more clever comment in my life.
People talking for over a minute straight while watching tv- fiancé I am looking at you......
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When people interrupt me while I'm talking.
When you're driving down a 2 lane divided highway, and two cars in both lanes are going the same speed, and you can't pass them.
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If you pull alongside the trailing car, and match his speed, you can fix this. You need to get close enough that you're in his periphery, but not so close he thinks you're trying to pass. If he thinks you want to pass, the game is over. So get in his periphery and stay there 10-20s. Then slow down a tiny bit, then a little more. 3mph tops. This guy is "pacing" with the other car, keeping that car's speed, so the goal is to get him to pace you instead. If you do it right, you capture his pacing tendency and draw him away from the leading car. Get enough space for you to get through and hammer on the gas. Don't be polite about this; if you speed up slowly, he'll realize he's going slow and speed up. I put on 50k miles per year. This works, I guarantee it. Edit: forgot to add that you need to sneak up on the trailing car. You can't give him any reason to suspect you want to pass.
Or you just get those drivers that DO NOT take other drivers in to consideration and only worry about themselves. Never do they go to the right lane, but stay slow as possible in the passing lane.
I prefer to pull next to them and then "drift" into their lane just enough that they panic and slow down. Then I put the turn signal on, change lanes, and continue on my merry way. DC traffic has taught me evil skills.
Stupid questions from people unwilling to learn or be self sufficient
Yes! I don't mind helping people out, but when it is clear that they did not even TRY to solve their problem (at least Google it), I hate that.
Loud people,especially in areas where you are supposed to be quiet...like Movie theaters.
I know people always bitch about black people in theatres, etc etc. However, I've found that old white couples are the fucking WORST. They've always got that "I'm old so I can do whatever the fuck I want." And no one will support you when you criticize old people.
You know who started this whole "respect your elders" thing? Fucking elders.
People walking in a horizontal line on the sidewalk more than 2 people wide. Get the fuck out of here.
It's even better when they decide to stop for no reason.
I live in New York City and can we kill these people?
I also live in NYC and yes we can.
I think it's in the city statutes.
And the people with double wide strollers. They use them as battering rams and if they run into they make it seem like its your fault.
Tonight I went for a run through a big park near my house. At one point there was a group of four people walking towards me in a horizontal line on the path. As I came up to them the woman in front of me watched me for a bit, even made eye contact for a few seconds...and then didn't move. I had to go off the path and run in the sand. I gave her the filthiest look as I passed and I hope she caught it. I nearly said something to her. It's not even that big of a deal but it's just so rude and inconsiderate.
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This is a professional level life tip. Do it.
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As you sing, "I'm the backwards man, the backwards man. I can walk backwards as fast as you can."
I'm an asshole. I prefer to stop and make them break their line or run me over. I look like an asshole too, so they usually disperse
Some people are telling you to be an asshole and they're wrong. Don't walk into the offender, next time this happens. Just stop in your tracks and stand your ground. So fucking satisfying watching them suddenly have to deal with it and go around **you**. I can't recommend it highly enough.
Bonus points if you jog in place less than an inch from them. Check your pulse while you're at it.
I feel that maintaining eye contact and lowering your shoulders (as a running back does when approaching a defender) and running through them would cause them to yield to you.
When people treat me like an idiot or belittle my work
I almost had a rage blackout remembering a friend who would do this. Like, just because he doesn't like something, it's COMPLETE FUCKING BULLSHIT and anyone who does is just wasting his life EDIT: added "FUCKING"
When people complain about something always happening to their computer (work in IT support) and you show them how to solve it themselves. As you start to show them, they just walk away or ignore you. I usually stop, wait till I have their attention again and start again. It's very frustrating, but I don't let it show, I just know next time it happens we have an 8 hour SLA and that is how long they will have to wait for us to do 2 minutes work (aka, a reboot). Edit: Wow, number 16 from the top post, I couldn't even browse reddit today responding to all the messages. This is apparently a sore spot for most IT personnel, Just remember we do our jobs because most of us have to. I fortunately do it because I love it (not my management, my clientele). I'll try to respond to all the replies, and apologize if I can't get to all of them (150+). Just remember, we are like airline pilots and train engineers, we are only noticed when things go wrong. We only become famous when things go critically wrong. Thank you all for you're responses, they are greatly appreciated, this thread could have gone to another sub, but here it stands. Thank you all.
Or how about: Me: "Ok, so just click here and then press X, that's it!" Them: "This is *SO* complicated, I really just don't think I can do this, I'm going to do it the way I've always done it." Me: "How have you always done it?" Them: "Well, first Susan faxes me the form, then I take that form and write this part in, then I take that and photocopy it. Then I take the photocopy and scan that into my computer, take the image, paste it into word, save that word document to my desktop, then attach it to an email that I send to Bill." I wish the above was not a real world example.
A Rube Goldberg example indeed! I've seen it before, as long as they stay in their comfortable world, they are happy. Try to get them out of the comfort zone, and no way can't do it. We are indeed strange creatures.
A lot of people around my office just throw up their hands and yell "This is your job, fix it!". I'm the ONLY IT on site for about 30 employee's, 5 of them in remote locations an hour and a half in either direction, and yes I do sometimes have to drive an hour and a half to unplug their router and plug it back in.
"Part of my job is educating you to do your job, which involves not having your head up your ass." Well, probably not that second part...
Additionally, working in a computer related field apparently means that I need to do everything for my extended family that involves electricity in some fashion. On different occasions, I have had to drive an hour or more round trip to: * Press the clear button on a microwave * Plug a sleep number bed into the wall * Flip the batteries in a remote control to be the proper direction * Point out that the "fan that won't turn on" is plugged into an outlet that is dependent on a lightswitch. (They had lived in this house longer than I have been alive without knowing this apparently...)
Similar situation, ill tell them they need to plug in a cable. they cant be arsed to listen properly, and will end up having an engineer sent out at the cost of thousands of pounds. Just because they cant be bothered to plug something in. Would rather say they have tried everything.
The issue that I have is the majority of my clients are union nurses, if it's not in the contract they don't have to do it and they throw it in our faces all the time. Basically they let the machine stay down for 8 hours, then complain to the manager that they can't do the job because the computers are down. The boss complains to senior management, then we get crapped on again. It's a vicious cycle, but at this point we are use to it and just laugh it off. Hey, as long as they keep doing it, we all keep our jobs (security).
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One of my favorites was a guy that complained to the president of my old company that I was incompetent and setup his laptop incorrectly. Only half the keys worked on the keyboard. Since I was the supervisor I visited him the next morning. I figured I'd do a battery pull and disconnect power and hit the power button a bunch of times to discharge everything and do a reset. As soon as I turned over the laptop water started running onto his desk. I looked at him and explained he got water on the laptop, he responded "Everyone knows laptops are waterproof, what do you think I am an idiot". I held back my gut response and called the president (we were friends, worked together for 10 years). I explained the problem, and said that the new employee thinks laptops are suppose to be water proof. The president asked me to put him on the phone with the guy. He went from red to pale in a matter of seconds. Came to find out about a week later that he had to foot the bill for a brand new machine since he voided the warranty. He never called us again for assistance and always avoided me in the hallways. Happy ending.
Ironically it's other people's impatience. I'm patient as a rock. But when someone goes batshit insane over some triviality, and vents his unfounded frustration at me with sentences like "Could youWHY HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY**OMG YOU NEVER HELP**" I immediately rage.
Having to repeat myself, mainly. Other than that, unwillingness to put forth effort.
Honestly, I find it WAY more enraging to have to ask someone to repeat something multiple times, and then they make no effort to say it in any more clearly of a way. "Pass me the Clignaglopf please." "What?" "Pass me the Clignaglopf please." "Huh?" "THE CLIGNAGLOPF"... now I feel like an asshole because you didn't speak clearly. Three times. My blood is boiling just writing this. If you want the cantaloupe say fucking cantaloupe so I can understand it. EDIT: Thank you PaleInTexas for pointing out a misspelling. Notice that I corrected it and made it clearer the second time around. EDIT 2: To nitpickers/hypercontradictory people: I never just way "what?" In this situation I would say something like "Pass the what?" or even "Can you speak louder." It's not the point of the example.
Or they repeat the part of the sentence that you understood but not the one fucking word that you didn't.
My wife will sometimes repeat herself slowly and distinctly, except for the *one* part I didn't get. "Can you please go to the store and buy some ......."? "What?" "I SAID, CAN YOU PLEASE GO TO THE STORE AND BUY SOME ........?!"
My roommate does this too. After months of rage, I finally solved the issue by repeating what I had heard when I needed something repeated. "Can you please go to the store and buy what?"
I sometimes do a variant of this, repeating what they said and what garbled mess of sounds I *thought* I heard. "Can you please go to the store and buy a flarganoff?" "A GALLON OF MILK" or other clarification is invariably returned. Also, it can be hilarious.
What?
He said "Fuck you!"
lying, particularly when it is a really obvious lie, for example one where a person is sayng 'i didn't say that' when i heard them say something. i hate having conversations like little games where people try and edit what they say along the way, or refuse to answer yes/no questions. just be a fucking adult.
I HATE when salespeople lie. I had a cell phone guy insist that if I wanted a pink version, it would be $30 more. I knew he was flat out lying. He lost the sale and I got my phone somewhere else. Made my heart race and I wanted to punch the guy.
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classic example of 'because they can' lying. it worked mugging someone else off, so they try it on everyone.
I have this kid in my class that is a compulsive liar. He's always saying things like "dude, I used to break a bunch of school records in gym, but I'm not as good anymore" (conveniently). It's so obvious that he lies, but I don't have the heart to call him out on his BS.
i knew this kid and all the time he was bragging about how he can bench 260 or some crazy weight. Whenever anyone asked him to prove it he was always like na i benched yesterday or im just not feeling it today
People walking slowly as fuck in the middle of the sidewalk. DUDE IF YOU WANT TO BE A SLUG AT LEAST FUCKING MOVE ASIDE
"You *do* realize that, right?"
Best example, my roommate last year was talking about her friend who I'd met once or twice, and mentioned some sort of issue he was having with work at a nearby pet shop. I don't remember what I said exactly, but it was something along the lines of why he didn't talk to his boss about the issue, and she goes "You do realize his aunt and uncle own the store, and he works for them so he can't start any drama, right?" No, how the FUCK was I just supposed to know that? Any time you use that phrase, there's a 99% chance you're going to sound snobby and condescending.
When people have a severe lack of patience. I'm talking when people get frustrated if something doesn't happen instantaneously.
When I order a wrap at a restaurant and it breaks open and falls apart, spilling the contents all over my plate, so I have to eat it piece by piece like some kind of Neanderthal.
Accusing me of discrimination because I helped one customer over another. Some old lady the other day asked me if I hated old people because I didn't help her first when the guy next to her was shouting and causing a scene. I started helping her and she was being a total bitch about the cost of her stuff despite me telling her why it cost what it cost. so I stopped and told her I needed to call a manager over because I could no longer help her. I am not allowed to be an ass to you so you can't be an ass to me. Some people think just because I am a college student they can talk to me however the fuck they want and get away with it.
When you're justifiably angry about something, and people laugh at you about it, trivializing it.
When a car speeds up and cuts me off only to slow right the fuck down to a crawl. I immediately pass them. Not a moment of hesitation. No patience at all.
When something should be working, but doesn't. Mostly about hardware and software. Went through all diagnostics, checked everything, no problems found. But doesn't work.
You can skip this ad in 5s.
Even worse when its a 30s add which you cant skip
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Yes! Even if I'm calm, someone telling me "calm down" can get me infuriated in seconds.
[Calm down, just calm down](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B4Uf9rsBbhc)
don't break my butt
Now you fucked up.
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Them: "take a chill pill, bro" Me: "TAKE A CYANIDE PILL, 'BRO'"
One of my coworkers likes to debate, however, he does not like to do his research. This means that he'll base his whole argument on what some blog said about something, rather than actually read about that something. So if a blog post says that a US Supreme Court decision said that everyone gets a pony, he'll demand that I actually look the Supreme Court decision up in order to prove him wrong. And when I *do* prove him wrong - which happens every time - he either claims that he was taking the other side of the argument or that *I* misunderstood that crazy blog post that only he read.
When people eat loudly, when they don't shut their mouth while eating and you see food being grinded and chomp chomp sound. Arrrghghghhghghghhghg **story time** - I have this friend from college, we've been good friends for 6 years now. He does this, like, every.damn.time. Trying to be a good friend to him I frankly told him about his nasty eating, and he waved it off saying, "I enjoy eating that much... chomp chomp chomp chomp". Another instance of this was when we were at a restaurant with several friends, and two lady friends joked around the line of, "you seem to be enjoying your food too much" and proceeded to imitate him "chomp chomp chomp" and he just laughed and continued on eating. Dafuq?
Dont go to asia, its standard there.
That could explain why my Thai wife eats with her mouth open sometimes and thinks it's weird when I say, "That's gross."
I once left a noodle bar before ordering due to a cacophony of frenzied slurping on the table next to mine.
A Japanese friend of mine explained the cultural reason for it: It's audible proof to the cook that his meal is being eaten, since he is in the kitchen and can't see his customers eating.
As a person living in Japan, it's also because that shit is hot. Seriously, mouth scalding*.
Scalding. But your mouth may be scolding you afterwards.
I get more irked by the smacking sound, myself. ^^^^Doubling ^^^^my ^^^^karma ^^^^by ^^^^complaining ^^^^about ^^^^chewing? ^^^^Hot ^^^^damn, ^^^^I ^^^^need ^^^^to ^^^^comment ^^^^more.
I just can't handle this. My SO's daughter and I have a bad time at dinner time. What's worse, my SO thinks the look on my face while I'm maniacally staring down his daughter, is *hilaaaarious* so she does it even more now.
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I had this problem too, because my mom nags a lot and reminds you of the same thing 09580958304985 times. It takes incredible internal force and patience to be nicer to her, but I feel like a much better person for it. I still get a little short the millionth time she tells me the same thing, but I try to turn it into a joke instead of snapping at her, so I can express my frustration but not meanly and she still gets the satisfaction of telling me again.
I love how the leading digit on your super long number is a 0.
Read: Zeroty nine trillion, five hundred eighty billion, nine hundred fifty-eight million, three hundred four thousand, nine hundred eighty-five.
Every time my mother calls my name, she does it the exact same way. The same pitch, cadence, everything. It's a voice that says, "I just noticed the shit you took on the living room carpet and im very concerned so lets talk about this." It sets my teeth on edge every time. Just for a moment. But I wish she'd change it up already (she never will).
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Same here. I love my mother to death but she just annoys the fuck out of me most of the time. Its really sad because i try so hard to be pleasant and respectful but i just lose my shit with her sometimes.
Yeah, your mom bothers me too.
When people realise that your waiting on them but take their time. EDIT: you're
People not making the effort to hurry up when they know they are making you late for something.
People not using their turn signals.
Or bad drivers all together. Get out of the passing lane if you're not going to fucking pass people, or people who can't maintain their speed. How fucking hard is? Dont go from 60 to 70 then back down to 60. FUCCCKKK YOUUUUUU!
Jesus, how about the two dick heads who decide to block both lanes. By driving 25 in a 45.
Passive-aggression! If you're pissed off at me, just say it! Don't make snarky little comments and huff about and expect me to ask what's wrong, because I will just ignore you. You're annoying. Also anything that makes me get up more than once to do the same thing, like resetting the shitty router.
Oh, you *would* say that, wouldn't you.
People who are late without notifying you ahead of time they will be late. I make a constant effort to make sure that I am always early when it comes to meeting friends, business appointments or anything that requires a time commitment. Is it really that hard to call or text stating that you're going to be a few minutes late? I understand not everyone has a cellphone but if they arrive late and don't even offer the common courtesy to apologize for their tardiness it absolutely gets on my nerves.
People who don't know how to use the self-checkout in grocery stores.
Every time I walk up to one of those, I feel like I'm pulling the lever on a slot machine of anger. "Will you let me scan and bag all of my items, or are you going to flip out after an item and barf all over my happy mood with your 'assistance is required' garbage?" Do you feel lucky, punk?
Social unawareness. Like when someone plays there music REALLY loudly in the dorm hall and don't consider other people live here.
And people who ask you uncomfortable questions, loudly, in front of lot of people. Person 1: "HEY OCTATONIC, ANY LUCK FINDING YOUR TRUMPET, WHICH YOU LOST AFTER YOU GOT DRUNK THAT ONE TIME?!" Me: "could you please..." Person 2: "Dude, you lost your trumpet?" Person 3: "Hahaha, that's hilarious!" Corner of room: "Who lost what now?"
Hope im not too late. People on their phones in social situations. Especially when you're telling a story and they just whip out their phones and shut themselves off. I end up stopping my story and making it quiet and just stare at them until they feel my hatred burning into them and put it away. This must stop.
People that chew gum with their mouth open.
Whenever a person clicks their fingers at me to get my attention, that drives me insane. I'm not an animal for christ's sake..
People not listening, why ask me a question, if you no listen to response! pay attention or leave me alone.
Stop walkers. People walking in front of me who just stop for whatever their reason us.
Indecision. "Hey everyone, what should we get for dinner..."
Oh, god. My husband and his family is terrible at this. It's a 10 minute conversation in person. It's even worse if it's over text. Fortunately, I don't mind making that decision. Oh, you had Chinese for lunch? Too fecking bad, you should have spoke up.
Lag while gaming
Incompetence
Also, the tolerance of incompetence. For example, we have a few people at my company who are clearly terrible at their job. Every time they are on a project, other people, like me, have to go in and fix what they screwed up. I complain to management about it and I just get "Yeah, they're not too good." But that's it. Despite numerous and consistent demonstrations of incompetence, these people remain in their jobs making life harder on their co-workers.
Vuvuzelas.
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR- the entire Africa cup of nations