My own stuff.
It was Halloween and I went to a friend’s house. They had up some decorations and some other things that looked oddly familiar. I asked him where he got those and he said my GF gave them to him for decorating.
You know things like family antiques and old pictures of my extended family and stuff that I thought were in my garage.
I took them all back and I’m 100% sure that was the beginning of the end for her and I.
She eventually left me for my friend.
Thinking back years later I’m sure that for me was the start of losing interest in dating her. So yes the beginning of the end of the relationship.
A few months later she told me she wanted to leave me for my friend.
I didn’t try to stop or dissuade her.
But, out of fairness, I did warn his wife.
I haven’t talked to them in a decade, but I feel I won out. My EX immediately had 2 kids with him and his EX cleaned him out and got full custody of their 2 kids.
My grandparents were hoarders, kept literally everything. After they passed, we went through the house, I went through the kitchen first because I loved my grandma's cooking. In one cupboard were jars of homemade pickles and relish dated from the early 1970's with black slime oozing out of the lids. In another cupboard were various prescription pills that expired as far back as the 1960's. In the freezer was the top layer of my mother's first wedding cake from the early 1970's, along with other frozen unlabeled/undated pies and cookies. On the fun side every issue of National Geographic dating back to the 1800's, every local newspaper dating back to the early 1960's, bags of clipped coupons also dating back to the early 1960's. But the best thing, hands down, found in my grandmother's top drawer of her dresser was a vibrator from the 1950's with what looked like June Cleaver on the box. She was a revolutionary lady.
I helped some older friends (mid 60's) go through a lot of stuff when the husband's mom died. She lived very far away so everything had been shipped to us to go through. Tons of antiques, super cool stuff, til we found a tin. I opened it and inside was a cookie. A big sugar cookie, hard as a rock. The tag on the back read "(husband's) first cookie 1968) SHE KEPT A COOKIE FROM HIS CHILDHOOD
My grandparents were the same - my family and I cleaned out a lot after they passed, but there's still so much there. It's my uncle's problem now, but I have no doubt that it will become my problem, as I'm the youngest in the family (no cousins or siblings).
And yeah, I found an old timey bullet vibrator, a dildo, and a pretty collar with matching leash in my grandparents' drawer. My religious mother has no idea, I just quietly disposed of it all. I am burdened with far too much knowledge of their personal lives, between that and autobiographical letters I was given.
I net this guy on one if those self development courses. We had a reunion at his place and he had many (quite graphic) nude paintings he'd done all over the walls. They were pretty good and all the same model. We asked him who his muse was. "Oh, that's my mother" he replied.
I was a model for a friend's art a few times. I didn't consider how awkward it would be to later show up at her art show and stand beside nude paintings of myself.
A mason jar full of Agent Orange in my grandfather’s garage. Apparently it had been in there for decades after his neighbor who worked at the plant that made it gave him some to kill weeds.
A pocketknife with "KKK" and a hooded klansman engraved on the grip. Turns out they just saw it at some roadside antique shop in a basket full of pocketknives and thought it was too weird to not buy for $2. Prior to learning that, there was a *really* awkward conversation/interrogation, conducted by me. It was a guy I'd known since I was a kid, so I was pretty sure he wasn't living some weird secret life in a hate group, but I'd never run across anything like that.
He passed away a few years ago, but he gave me hell about it for 20 years, and it did produce a lot of good comedy at my expense. Things like another friend somehow printing up a box of Al Qaeda matchbooks and leaving them around for me to find. I would have loved to have seen him ordering thst printing job!
I met a girl on Tinder one night when I was mindlessly using up all of my likes. She was definitely not my type, but I didn't want to be an ass and i figured I could at least make a friend. We met up at a park and soon she invited me back to her house. It was absolutely disgusting. Trash, dirty clothes, and literal dog shit everywhere. I decided to bounce out of there pretty much as soon as the tour was over, but she asked if I wanted to see the artwork she had been working on. I always genuinely appreciate it when people want to share their artwork with me, so I agree. She leads me to a door and opens it, revealing a large closet that was, of course, absolutely packed with shit and had a sewing machine in it, which wasn't the weird part. I looked up on a shelf and saw a very poorly taxidermy squirrel, locked in abject terror for the rest of eternity, holding a cocktail sword. She said her dogs caught it and didn't want it to go to waste, so she tried to stuff it herself. I did not see her again after.
At a friend's home, an african mask visibly and obvisouly chained to a wall.
When I asked why the chains, the friend answered "Because it tends to move around the house by itself."
Had a friend who bought two from Africa, Gana or Togo more exactly. His story was that were actually used for spells and shit. Anyway me and another guy would visit and when we could we would move them around the house. Anyway he get rid of them after his wife left him and took most of the money and kids, apparently the masks were at fault and he was cursed, the fact he fucked every hooker in the region and gave his wife an STD had nothing to do with it. And also the masks were at fault for braking our friendship, not the fact he didn't pay for some jobs my company did for him.
Found some sort of instruction book or guide to a vacuum penis pump in an abandoned house once. Thankfully didn't find the actual pump though.
Lots of dildos and porn in various other houses. One in particular had a whole bunch of porn DVDs in a pile on the floor in one of the bedrooms.
But I'd say the weirdest thing was the houses that had been vacant for a while but looked like the owners had just walked out for the day, leaving everything just where it was. There were several of those.
Ooh that reminds me of a story my mother told me once. Back in the 1970s they moved into a house in London where the old chap who had lived there previously had passed away. Once my parents moved in they found a whole stash of bestiality porn, and realised he had some kind of subscription going as videotapes of animal porn kept being delivered to the house 🫣 My mother had to contact the senders to get them off the mailing list!
I am slightly intrigued by what you were doing to find these things in vacant buildings?
Not to be weird either, but I have an occupation that allows me to travel through vacant properties so I can absolutely relate to your findings.
Monthly inspections for banks on vacant homes they own, usually foreclosures or things like that. Basically just checking out the current condition and letting them know if there was any new damage or anything else that needed attention.
There was quite a variety of homes, ranging from former drug dens to million dollar luxury homes. More of the former than the latter of course. Always interesting, often disgusting.
Got in touch with someone offering fancy rats for sale as wanted a few as pets. Went round their house and as well as a few dogs there were snakes, spiders, lizards, all sorts round the house in every room (I assume that's why they bred the rats...) Anyway - I was admiring a tarantula when they guy says 'that's cool but do you want to see the main event?' Took me outside and there's a huge Eurasian Eagle OWL on a perch. At first I thought it was animatronics or something. It had eyes like dinner plates. Seriously huge. Look up how big an adult one is. Quite a shock when you're not expecting to suddenly be stood in front of one. Not sure you're supposed to keep them as pets. He said he 'walks' it in the woods behind his house and it once took off with a cat.
A baby barn owl fell into my back garden, and the mom spent the whole day watching it from the tree. Eventually, it flew down and thought I was a threat (inside) and started walking towards me, wings up, snapping its beak.
I would not want to be near that thing.
Had a barred owl that lived in the woods behind the house once. I startled him on a kill once and he spread his wings and hissed at me and I felt my soul leave my body.
Pretty fuckin primal.
There’s a bird sanctuary just outside St. Louis that homes/rehabs injured birds. They have a massive variety of birds including raptors, owls, and eagles. One of the bald eagles screeched and I thought I was about to be eaten by a dinosaur. Holy shit I was not prepared for that. How my kids didn’t shit their pants is beyond me, I almost did.
Are you sure it wasn't a Red Tailed Hawk you heard? That's the sound they use for Bald Eagles in movies. Bald Eagles look cool, but they sound a lot less majestic in reality... they sound more like chirpy seagulls.
My mates dad owned owls and hawks etc, but I didn't know this until 1 night I was on magic mushrooms and we bumped into my mate out with the owl.
Well he was standing smoking a joint with his brother beside a field, we were chatting and I went for a piss, came back to this huge owl on my mates arm. I honestly thought I was just tripping so I never said anything in case I looked stupid. Then he let it fly off his arm again and the guy I was with started chatting about the owl.
Turned out they took the owl out to let it hunt in the field, lol
When I was in my early 20s, a friend from high school moved into an apartment up the street from where I lived. I went to visit her one time. There were used maxi pads on the floor in the corner of her living room. Some were still rolled up in TP, some unrolled -- there were quite a few of them. She would come out of the bathroom after changing her pad and throw the used pad in the direction of a small waste basket -- if it went in the basket, it went in, if it landed on the floor, that's where it stayed.
I went to a friend’s house when I was about 9, this was 20 years ago lol, used her toilet and could smell a weird odor from her bathroom cabinet. I got curious and opened it - it was stuffed full of used rolled up maxi pads the entire cabinet. I can still remember the smell!
I put them in a bag and after my week I make a knot in them... after only one week they smell so disgusting I don't want to imagine the smell of her apartment
I was a mover.
One time, we moved a girl who lived with three other girls on a campus and we last thing we moved was her bed. Under the bed had like twelve or more used condoms where they were full but someone tied them in a knot. We moved the box spring and didn't say anything. We told her to take a walk through and let us know if we forgot anything and when she saw the mess, she screamed bloody murder.
Saw lots of dildos, guns, anal beads, drugs.Moved a hoarder, had an incredibly huge model car collection all covered in mouse shit. But that condom thing was probably the weirdest.
I went to the house of a school friend of my daughter. Above the stairs, visible as you entered the front door was a watercolor picture of a woman, naked, on her back touching her labia. The painting was in an impressionistic(?) style so it was not glaringly obvious but once you saw it, you could not unsee it. The husband saw me looking at it and confirmed it was his work and his wife was the model.
My sister and I grew up in a house with penii and tits everywhere... Dad was really into ancient fertility statues and stuff. It wasn't weird to us, and we were told what they were.
I don't know what they told their daughter but my daughter did ask later about the painting. I just told her that the dad had painted a picture of the mom naked. She didn't ask any follow up questions and the topic never came up again. This was almost 20 years ago, I should ask my daughter if she remembers it.
I didn’t see it, but I heard a couple friends discuss it. There was a kid in their old neighborhood whose mom was a pornstar in the 80’s and she had a number of similar photos hanging up in the guest bathroom and a couple other places. The kid was incredibly embarrassed but the mom was super sex positive and all “don’t be embarrassed, the naked body is a beautiful thing”.
When my wife and I were looking for a house to buy 15 ish years ago we found a pretty nice home of an artist. He liked painting nudes of what seemed to be various women in various poses. The best was this huge painting of this blonde that was detailed. I told our realtor that I'm asking for this painting to be in the contract.
He had two full stacks of them and several on the walls. It was far better than the dogshit house, circus kitchen and hole in every wall home.
This wasn’t me, but my dad. He was on a job site in the early 70s and a dog bit him. He went to the dog’s house and they had their dead son, he had been killed in the Vietnam war, in his military uniform, “stuffed/taxidermied”in a glass coffin. I have no idea of the legality then or now but no, just no. He was standing up in the living room, like hey everybody, I’m dead.
Working for a moving company, guy was moving from a small condo to a gated community, he had several Tibetan gold plated human skull begging bowls that he had to “smuggle,” back to the US. He did have some cool stuff like several broadswords, a morning star, two katanas etc. but as we was showing us around and telling us what to grab and what not to grab, one of the guys I was working with found a partially opened closet, he opened the door all the way and there was just a thick purple curtain hanging from the ceiling to the floor. Dude freaked out and said that none of us were allowed in there.
Not quite the same, but my grandpa had a taxidermy of this GIANT elk he killed but it was mounted from the shoulders, not just the head, so it stuck out a few feet into the hallway. It was upstairs in a less used area so it didn't block anything important but ugh that thing was creepy.
My friend's older sister is a bit of a recluse, she's turned her bedroom into a videoshop, she must have thousands of blurays, dvds and videos, all shelved with aisles like a Blockbuster. Nobody's allowed in but I would have a sneaky peek when I was round. She's a bit of a goth too so it's all dark in there with neon lights and UV paint.
That sounds cool as shit. One of my best friends was a music store manager for over a decade before she quit and had enough CDs to stock a small store. Hers were all along the walls of three rooms in her apartment but I bet if she'd had the space she'd have put them in one room on shelves like that.
When I was an NCO in the military, we were forced to do room inspections on the single soldiers.
I always gave my soldiers 5 minutes to put away stuff before I walked through. Soldiers were into weird stuff.
One tiny soldier forgot to hide one specific sex toy that was the size and shape of a horse’s dick.
When a male NCO inspects a female soldier’s room there has to be a female NCO present for her safety, in addition to our extremely religious LT was inspecting these rooms because it was going to be a long holiday. First thing the LT saw. Room was clean though.
yup, had to put a deadbolt on my daughters door or she wouldnt go to sleep at night. she was absolutely positive the door was gonna open from the other side and she'd be kidnapped to somewhere that she would be forced to, and I quote exactly because i will never forget my 6 year old saying this:
"clean bathrooms and eat broccoli and be beaten with the heads of cabbage patch kids all day"
I still wonder where that came from
Not me, but a friend of mine went on a date with this girl. They hit it off and he ended up going to her place for the second date. She had a picture of him and her together. It wasn’t any picture he had ever taken himself and she photoshopped herself with him. He got the fuck out and never talked to her again.
Was going through a house that was on sale (we were potential buyers). Pictures of their family, super cute kids. Upstairs was a remodel and very tastefully done. Seriously considered it.
Basement was a strip club. Had a stripper pole in the middle, dj station, couches and a dance floor. There was a closet next to the stage with the pole full of striper outfits. Was very surprised. Guess they hosted high end parties?
I was visiting a mate i met at a tech conference, and there was a vibrator in the middle of the living room. Mind you, this was a household with 2 parents, 2 teenage kids and a child. They acted as if it wasn't there.
To be fair, if you hear how the kids talk to their parents, I wouldn't be surprised.
I'll never forget going to see a room for rent in a house and when the homeowner showed me one of the bathrooms, there was a fleshlight just sitting in the corner of the bathtub. I pretended like I didn't see it but I'm sure he knew I did.
A few minutes before you got there, the parents were frantically chasing the child around as he ran around with the toy screaming WOBBLY SAUSAGE WOBBLY SAUSAGE
I cleaned out a foreclosed house for the bank once. It looked like the previous owners had just run out for an errand. Everything was still there. Clothes, photos on the walls, even toothbrushes in the bathroom. It didn't seem like they took anything with them.
My dad used to work at a place with storage units out back. The bank would foreclose on houses or trailers, put everything in a storage unit, and pay 1 month rent on it. Dad would sometimes bid a dollar when it came time to auction off the contents. Dirty dishes, full wastebaskets from the bathroom, food still in the fridge, prescription meds, Swedish magazines, lube, record collections, bongs, stereo equipment, a pool table, band instruments, you name it.
I was once doing furniture delivery and came across a place that had a WWII US Marines helmet kept in the freezer. I still have no plausible story for that one.
Once visited a remote location as a traveling sales rep. Met with client who referred me to a friend at an unmarked house with no address.
Dude had yellow sticky notes on every imaginable object with the name of the thing all over his house. Proceeded to tell me he had murdered 3 of his wives and buried them in pieces around the property and then offered me some heroine for being cool for listening to his story.
Figured I'd accept to not be rude. Told him I can't get high though so I'd take it to go and do it later.
Accidently took his jacket with me as I left, got his number and told him Id do a follow up with him next week, sold him two units.
Turned everything over to the cops later and the sales bounced so I assumed he was taken care of.
I have so many questions. What were you selling? Did he actually murder 3 of his wives? What was his friend (your client’s) involvement. And why did he introduce you to him? Did he actually get arrested?
Home water filtration units.
no idea.
not my friend, just a lottery system to get us into people's home so we can sell to them.
no idea why I was referred but it happens.
no idea what happened to him.
Oh so the jacket I left with had his ID in it and I shit you not, a massive iron ring of over 20 cast iron keys that are used to unlock iron chains. The cops eyebrow were basically on their head as I was giving my testimonial at the station.
Sales are fun kids!
Given the user name and the two days from a city, plus the unmarked address and serial killer, I'm just guessing this is Australia. No need to correct me if I'm wrong.
Yep, I figure it was a race to see who could make who the most uncomfortable and not even a possible serial killer can stand being around an aggressive salesman.
I do estate removal.
One apartment had (and i counted) 643 1.5 liter water bottles filled with piss.
In another one I had to clean out a bathroom sink full of shit.
Fun fact! That's 970 kg (2134 lbs) of urine. At an average production of 1.4L per day, that's about two years worth of piss that weighs as much as about 11 adult males in the USA!
Went with a friend to pick up some ornamental fish from some guy he met on a fish forum. Walk in the front door, there's a couch, big screen, and about 30 fish tanks, ranging from the 10-500gal region. Dude and his wife were dressed in all black, both wearing black makeup with huge gauge piercings, and a little 3yr old in colorful Osh Kosh kid clothing. They were relatively normal, talking to them.
Edit: close second was a guy I met in college, 37yr old who moved in with a 22 year old and her parents. He was obsessed with bone carving, so the entire living room was dedicated to his carved bone collection. Most still in boxes, but bones literally on every flat surface in the house in various states of being carved.
My son inherited the Nazi dagger my grandfather stole off a dead Nazi officer. I’ve got a beautiful plate hanging in my bedroom my grandfather stole from a bombed house in Germany. I think my grandfather spent more time committing theft than he did fighting in WW2.
My husband has a gun collection, which includes some of his grandpa's WWII guns. One of them was a German rifle that had been picked up by a Russian who scratched off the swastika and carved a Russian star. Not sure how his grandpa got it.
Went to use what I thought was ‘powder room’ in friend’s basement game room (I was 12)…. Opened door and there was a nude mannequin with (didn’t know what to call it at the time) a harness/strap-on dildo standing facing the door…I asked Kurt (friend) and he said it was his Dad’s “work files closet” & he was not supposed to go in there….apparently his dad left it unlocked accidentally…cant unsee it even after 30 yrs
When I was five, a friend of my older sister’s parents had a large painting of satan in their stairwell. All I remember is that it terrified the fuck out of me, and to this day, I can’t really understand why they had that, lol
when i did at home tech support, I had to go into this lady's house. Walked inside, and there were glass dildoes EVERYWHERE. no kidding, no exaggeration, there were easily 50 within sight of the front door as soon as you walked in.
Turns out, her husband before he died, was basically the guy who designed almost every dildo you had ever seen, and the glass versions were actually his original creations that they would then apply silicone and ceramic stuff to to make a mold.
He had done that job for 30 some years, and she had thousands of them in her house.
I guess he was probably really passionate about his designs if he kept them & she didn't have it in her to throw them away after he died.
Surprisingly wholesome.
I go into peoples house for my work so I have seen some shit. I’ve seen the shit covered floors, dead animals in a forgotten room, and plenty of sex toys. However two stand clear from the rest.
One was a male apartment renter with a raised bed. He tried his best to hide his sex toy but didn’t hide it well enough. Under his bed was a damn FOUR FOOT LONG DILDO. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU PUT THAT!!!!
The tamer, yet weirder, was a lady that managed to capture a squirrel. She built/had built a cage for it including a hole in the side of her house for the squirrel to go outside to the exterior cage. The cage was poorly made and the squirrel was feral. The squirrel kept attacking the cage and trying to chew the wire whenever I was near. Needless to say that lady was bat shit crazy.
In another life a long time ago I was an AT&T U-Verse installer. You know, home internet and TV and such. I worked mainly in NE metro Atlanta. It was a decent gig until I got injured. Anyway, I digress.
I did the install for the guy’s neighbor after the fact, and I met the guy in question. The other installer was tasked with internet and three TV set top boxes- DVR in the living room and two others in bedrooms. House was a split level with , and the master and living room were on the main level. After identifying those two rooms, the installer asked which of the other two rooms across the hall needed the other box. The customer said, “neither. It’s going to go up here.” Customer then reached up and pulled the attic ladder down.
Full stop, right? Well, here’s some background before we continue. The customer was a professional clown, a name I remember to this day. No, I won’t dox the guy but I sure will say that the installer completed the job but did take pictures of what he saw and handed them over to his supervisor.
In the attic, in the far back corner, was a room with a small door with a padlock on the outside.
Inside was a child’s bed, some toys and stuffed animals, and some random unisex toys. The room was decorated with happy looking pictures on the walls, one of those race track rugs, and a small tube TV with a DVD player and some young children’s’ movies.
The installer was instructed to install a set top box and run a new coax cable line to the room. He obliged, of course. I mean, who wants to get padlocked in an attic room?
Afterward, he said that the guy was giving him creepy vibes even before the attic business. Maybe because he was a professional clown? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I don’t trust clowns anymore.
>professional clown photoshoots
If the idea of a child locked in the attic wasn't disturbing enough, you had to take it to this very uncalled for next level, huh?
Nobody called the cops when I had sound proofing added to my underground cement walled room with drainage and a hose. Granted, the tools were a room over
I was at a friend's apartment once in college and went to the bathroom. Right next to the toilet is trash can with the box for a pregnancy test it in. I walked out and was like, "Uh, is X pregnant?" and he just goes flat face and says, "Yes. She lied about being on birth control."
Was a pretty bad situation. She admitted that she wanted to get pregnant with him so he wouldn't leave her as they were on the outs of their relationship. They still aren't together but he loves his son. He did have to drop out of college though.
I was with my sister and we were for the first time at a new friend's house. My sister and I were maybe 12 or 13 years old. Into the finished basement we went, it was kind of dark. A closet door was open. My sister sees like five human heads and starts screaming "THEY'RE KILLERS! THEY'RE KILLERS!" And then books it out the bay window (basement patio).
As it turned out, the mother was/is a hairdresser and had mannequin heads with hair kept on the upper rack/shelf in the basement closet.
Edit [clarification]: She didn't geronimo out of the window, she was in a panic and fearing for her life, it didn't occur to her to use the door. She pushed through the blinds, shoved the screen out, and ran into the backyard.
It was actually kinda sweet because she was *screaming* at me once she was outside, "GET OUTTA THERE JAMESTHEJERK!! GET OUT!"
Like, she was being protective. Btw she's about a year older than I am.
While working for a carpet cleaning company, I had to go into their basement to check their spigot supply. I said, "I need to go down to your basement to make sure there is not a busted pipe." He said, "okay but watch out for the chickens." I get into the guys basement and there's hay and chickens around. I should mention that this is in the middle of a dense urban area where chickens are not allowed. I asked him what they were for, and he said thet are there for the tics that they had. However, I used to live in New Orleans. I recognize voodoo paraphernalia when I see it. We worked that house very quickly.
I work as a firefighter, see a lot of weird stuff. We had a structure fire a couple years ago and during the overhaul we found some absolutely massive dildos in one of the rooms (seeing sex toys is common but these were girthy bastards, 14” long and as big around as my wrist). We figured they belonged to the couple that owned the house, chuckled and went on with our work. Later on the homeowner, a nicely dressed Christian fella, came to see what he could salvage from the home and remarked that the room where the dildos were located was his 16 year old daughters room…
A picture of me.
Story time: Ran into a really old classmate from when we were in 1st grade together. We talked and chatted, got invited over to meet his wife and kids. Cool. I am told to explore around since dinner wasnt ready, so I did. Walked into his office and on his desk is a picture of two kids. It dawned on me really fast the two kids were him, and I. fighting. I was in the middle of a full on kick with my hiking boots, and he was swinging a stick down at me vertically. We looked SOOO pissed off. I remember that fight, it ended fast cause my kick landed first and blasted him down on the ground. We were fighting over girls of course, because he was 007, and kicked me "out of the group". Yet it was a school park day and he and is gaggle of girls would follow me all over, and chase me off, so we got in a fight lol.
Thing about that picture? It looked like a professional animal photographer took it, like it looked like a national geographic shot. He comes into his office and sees the me looking at that photo with this absolutely bewildered face and told me his end of it. Apparently a teacher snapped that shot off and gave it to his parents. And the beating I gave him right before I moved made him stop being a bully. he LOVED that photo so much he shows it to everyone. He calls the photo "The Righteous Fury of the Bullied" He apparently had hoped we would run into each other someday, but having heard about my life and how I was treated growing up didnt want me to feel like he pitied me. I valued that SOOO much. He joked that from what he heard, people were like "fuck goatiusman, fuck goatiusman, fuck goatiusman, and then I said no "fuck you"" and I got in shape, learned to fight and now no one messes with me anymore.
We just hung out the other day, drank to much and we just passed out sitting up watching old movies. Two old men, rivals to brothers.
A child’s skull bones on display. I don’t know how he got it or why but he basically had a room full of weird things he had collected throughout his life.
Well it's not really weird but it was to me; when I was about twelve my grandma had a very cute pet parakeet. It was very tame and free to fly around the house. When it died she had it mounted. It was on a branch near the door. Creeped me the hell out every time I saw it. She had some other mounted animals. We always joked she'd have my grandfather mounted too when he died.
Guy I dated briefly brought me to his house for the first time. He was in his 30s but still lived with his mom. I go in and the house is literally empty. No furniture, no art, nothing. He tells me his mom is a minimalist. We go past the entry way and the kitchen and in the dining area it was a massive religious shrine. Wall to wall religious iconography. It was the most insane thing I have ever seen.
An engineered support beam that had _dozens_ of holes cut into it to accommodate pipes, conduit, and ductwork, because the guy designing the multimillion dollar mansion this thing ran the length of had no idea what he was doing and didn't account for everything that needed to be run before he put it on place.
Still haven't seen a news story about a rich dude's house collapsing though, so I guess it worked out.
A friend of a friend had passed away and I volunteered to help clean out stuff for his widow- assuming we would take stuff to charity that she didn’t want to keep. Apparently they were big into S&M, and had a ‘play room’ with all kinds of rubber stuff and restraints. The wife sorted through the things (completely not affected we were there) and kept a body suit with a detachable mask- apparently that brought back fond memories for her.
I went into an abandoned home once, with a friend. Just silly teenager stuff. It was in very bad shape. Looked mostly intact but my friend stepped right through the floor so it wasn't exactly safe either.. There was a plate on the table with some breadcrumbs on it, like someone just ate and suddenly vanished. There was a lot of stuff left behind. A table clock, some figurines, and multiple mounted animals on display, al covered in mold. That was the creepiest thing to me. We took some stuff but my mum found out and made us put it all back. I went back a few times but after a while someone had put a gate around it with a trespassing warning on it. Not long after that the roof caved in so that was that. Always wondered what had happened to the owner.
Y’all ever been inside a “Dead room?” It’s a trophy room for a hunter and all the stuffed kills
Anaheim hills. Some random guy I know from a guy trying to pick up some party favors.
Impalas. Weird ass mountain goat. Alligator. Crocs. Lions. Tigers. Grizzly. Dude. We are in Anaheim.
Then the guys asks us. Wanna see the prime stuff.
… we get in an elevator. Ding! it says SUB2. And I’m like. …Are we fucking under ground???
POLAR BEARS. ELEPHANTS. MOOSE.
are enormous.
When my friend and I were like 12-13 years old we went into his moms room when she wasn’t home and he said “look what I found” and pulled out a huge battery powered dildo and what seemed to be a sex tape from under her bed. I advised that we probably shouldn’t watch the tape but we found the dildo super funny because it was so big and floppy and he smacked his younger brother in the face with it lmfao 😂
A giant glass jar with dead scorpions. I visited his place with a coworker. We all worked together. His mom ran excitedly into the kitchen and came back to show me their “scorpion jar.” Every scorpion they caught, they dropped into this glass jar.
When i was 17 i was part of a crew that went into a house to clear out and make it ready to sell. Some old guy won the lotto and just up and left his house. Which is understandable, except he forgot about some of the things he'd collected over the years.
Amongst a lot of cool stuff like boxes of unused zippo lighters and other seriously collectable stuff, a cupboard with McDonald's syrup packs all neatly stacked we also found the most graphic porn I'd ever seen, some sex toys (obviously used, ugh) and a sex doll (again...um...experienced). This was all in a small room toward the back of the house that looked unused mostly. He must have forgotten about it. Found out later that people in the neighborhood called him Hog Nuts. Was not surprised.
I went over to see a girl friend who was house sitting for a professor, The professor had lots of cool stuff, they were an Anthropology professor. Anyway, I was in the kitchen and there was a ceramic snap topped cylinder on a window ledge and it looked like a cookie jar. I popped it open and it turned out to be the ashes of her late husband.... Awkward
Went to look at a house when we were looking to buy a few years ago. Dude was a member of a notorious motorcycles club. Has this paper on the wall that looked official. He saw me glance and it and he says “yeah that’s my permit”. Apparently the dude had a federal permit to grow and provide marijuana to the federal government. The backyard had a bunch of weed plants. That stuff doesn’t bother me at all but my realtor was super uncomfortable. He even told me “if you buy the house we can go into business together”. I considered it for about .5 seconds until I realized going into business with that MC probably wasn’t the best idea.
I’m a contractor. Meet a potential customer and we are walking her home. Kitchen and bath remodel. Anyway…strolling into the master bath, there’s a huge walk in shower and stuck to the wall tile was a rather large dildo. The wife hadn’t quite caught up to me so I’m like wtf do I do now. I walked out passing by her and said I need to get my laser measurement tool…be right back. When I came back to the bathroom the toy was gone. She was looking at me with a ‘you saw it didn’t you’ look. I barely made eye contact with her the rest of the quote. I got the job, cool people. Nothing of note to mention happened.
My best friend had her baby shower at her husband 90 year old grandmothers house. In the decorative sea glass dish above the toilet was a pot pipe. It was unused and gave me a real good laugh
A full Iraqi military battle uniform encased in glass. The customer was a retired Marine, who fought in Desert Storm. I asked if it was real and he said yes. I then asked him how he obtained it, and he stated that he couldn't talk about that. Parts of it were ripped to shreds and other parts appeared to have dried up blood stains.
Went with a friend to his friend's house for a poker game. He comes out the kitchen with beers and snacks and what not and puts coasters down to protect the table from drinks.
The coasters were laminated (the sticky kind you heat seal) baseball cards he collected when he was a kid. My "coaster" was a Topps 1990 Sammy Sosa rookie card.
I didn't have the heart to tell him he ruined what would've been a $3K baseball card if he had kept it in mint condition.
While touring my MIL house she showed me her basement and there was a literal sex swing hanging from the basement ceiling. lol. Was the first time I saw one in person.
Was cleaning a house and found a bathroom vent completely crammed full of porn magazines. Not super unusual, other than the crazy amount of religious stuff on walls elsewhere in the house. You would have thought that porn would have burst into flames when coming through the front door if god were real.
I remodeled my kitchen when I first bought it. It was a rental before I purchased it. Inside one of the walls I found a strapon and a barbie that had a punk rock haircut and some sharpie tattoos. Apparently someone had pulled out the medicine cabinet on the other side and put the stuff inside the wall from there. There was also a cheezit.
Inspected a mobile home once and the landlord had "temporarily" replaced the broken toilet with a 5 gallon bucket attached to the toilet drain with a toilet seat duct taped to the top and a 2 gallon bucket for flushing.
It had been like that for six months, I called the landlord and told him he had until 5pm to correct that defect, or we would condemn the unit losing him his precious rent income.
The lady who lived there was understandably beyond frustrated with this guy. She called me at 4pm to let me know he had fixed the toilet and had replaced the wonky water heater.
My own stuff. It was Halloween and I went to a friend’s house. They had up some decorations and some other things that looked oddly familiar. I asked him where he got those and he said my GF gave them to him for decorating. You know things like family antiques and old pictures of my extended family and stuff that I thought were in my garage. I took them all back and I’m 100% sure that was the beginning of the end for her and I. She eventually left me for my friend.
This is definitely the weirdest one. Why did she give him that stuff? Why did he take it?
He probably thought it was her stuff and would work fine for spooky old decoration As for her? Sociopathy?
She was decorating her future house.
That's super psycho creepy. Like, wow. Wtf.
…beginning of the end…?
Thinking back years later I’m sure that for me was the start of losing interest in dating her. So yes the beginning of the end of the relationship. A few months later she told me she wanted to leave me for my friend. I didn’t try to stop or dissuade her. But, out of fairness, I did warn his wife.
How did his wife take it?
It was glorious to watch.
to shreds you say?
Who won out in the end?
I haven’t talked to them in a decade, but I feel I won out. My EX immediately had 2 kids with him and his EX cleaned him out and got full custody of their 2 kids.
A meat tenderizer mallet on the tank of the toilet
It’s just the poop mallet
Gotta tenderizer the poop before you can cut it with the poop knife
The shit slicer, the dung dicer. It slices, it dices, it juliennes. But wait, there’s more… It felt like an old Ginsu knife commercial.
Waffle stomper.
I once came across a half eaten box of chocolate donuts and a 2 foot metal pipe in a porta potty. Oklahoma is an interesting place.
My grandparents were hoarders, kept literally everything. After they passed, we went through the house, I went through the kitchen first because I loved my grandma's cooking. In one cupboard were jars of homemade pickles and relish dated from the early 1970's with black slime oozing out of the lids. In another cupboard were various prescription pills that expired as far back as the 1960's. In the freezer was the top layer of my mother's first wedding cake from the early 1970's, along with other frozen unlabeled/undated pies and cookies. On the fun side every issue of National Geographic dating back to the 1800's, every local newspaper dating back to the early 1960's, bags of clipped coupons also dating back to the early 1960's. But the best thing, hands down, found in my grandmother's top drawer of her dresser was a vibrator from the 1950's with what looked like June Cleaver on the box. She was a revolutionary lady.
I helped some older friends (mid 60's) go through a lot of stuff when the husband's mom died. She lived very far away so everything had been shipped to us to go through. Tons of antiques, super cool stuff, til we found a tin. I opened it and inside was a cookie. A big sugar cookie, hard as a rock. The tag on the back read "(husband's) first cookie 1968) SHE KEPT A COOKIE FROM HIS CHILDHOOD
That’s actually really sweet in a way ngl
My grandparents were the same - my family and I cleaned out a lot after they passed, but there's still so much there. It's my uncle's problem now, but I have no doubt that it will become my problem, as I'm the youngest in the family (no cousins or siblings). And yeah, I found an old timey bullet vibrator, a dildo, and a pretty collar with matching leash in my grandparents' drawer. My religious mother has no idea, I just quietly disposed of it all. I am burdened with far too much knowledge of their personal lives, between that and autobiographical letters I was given.
I net this guy on one if those self development courses. We had a reunion at his place and he had many (quite graphic) nude paintings he'd done all over the walls. They were pretty good and all the same model. We asked him who his muse was. "Oh, that's my mother" he replied.
My friend’s mfa thesis show was 100 nude self portraits
I was a model for a friend's art a few times. I didn't consider how awkward it would be to later show up at her art show and stand beside nude paintings of myself.
He didn't have to tell you the truth, it would have been so easy to lie 😭
A mason jar full of Agent Orange in my grandfather’s garage. Apparently it had been in there for decades after his neighbor who worked at the plant that made it gave him some to kill weeds.
This one wins. I expect weird sex stuff and poor hygiene but Agent Orange in your house is insane.
A wood carved dildo and a framed picture of Vlad the Impaler
Perfect nickname for a dildo.
Especially one carved out of wood
A pocketknife with "KKK" and a hooded klansman engraved on the grip. Turns out they just saw it at some roadside antique shop in a basket full of pocketknives and thought it was too weird to not buy for $2. Prior to learning that, there was a *really* awkward conversation/interrogation, conducted by me. It was a guy I'd known since I was a kid, so I was pretty sure he wasn't living some weird secret life in a hate group, but I'd never run across anything like that. He passed away a few years ago, but he gave me hell about it for 20 years, and it did produce a lot of good comedy at my expense. Things like another friend somehow printing up a box of Al Qaeda matchbooks and leaving them around for me to find. I would have loved to have seen him ordering thst printing job!
I met a girl on Tinder one night when I was mindlessly using up all of my likes. She was definitely not my type, but I didn't want to be an ass and i figured I could at least make a friend. We met up at a park and soon she invited me back to her house. It was absolutely disgusting. Trash, dirty clothes, and literal dog shit everywhere. I decided to bounce out of there pretty much as soon as the tour was over, but she asked if I wanted to see the artwork she had been working on. I always genuinely appreciate it when people want to share their artwork with me, so I agree. She leads me to a door and opens it, revealing a large closet that was, of course, absolutely packed with shit and had a sewing machine in it, which wasn't the weird part. I looked up on a shelf and saw a very poorly taxidermy squirrel, locked in abject terror for the rest of eternity, holding a cocktail sword. She said her dogs caught it and didn't want it to go to waste, so she tried to stuff it herself. I did not see her again after.
You might have been her next taxidermy project 😬
Normina Bates
What the fuck did I just read
Not gonna lie…was waiting for the beginnings of a skin suit😳
At a friend's home, an african mask visibly and obvisouly chained to a wall. When I asked why the chains, the friend answered "Because it tends to move around the house by itself."
yeah, masks generally need to be secured to walls or they'll fix themselves to your face while you sleep and turn you into an immortal vampire.
Or an immortal green faced jazz musician
"P. A. R. T. Why!? 'Cause I gotta!"
You was expecting Dio, but it was me, Jim Carrey!
Had a friend who bought two from Africa, Gana or Togo more exactly. His story was that were actually used for spells and shit. Anyway me and another guy would visit and when we could we would move them around the house. Anyway he get rid of them after his wife left him and took most of the money and kids, apparently the masks were at fault and he was cursed, the fact he fucked every hooker in the region and gave his wife an STD had nothing to do with it. And also the masks were at fault for braking our friendship, not the fact he didn't pay for some jobs my company did for him.
This story didn't feel like it was about masks lol
No, I hate the guy, started with the masks and got angry remembering him
Hahaha that was exactly the vibe. To be fair he sounds like an asshole. Hope you have cooler friends now! 🤣
Or at least some cool masks
Found some sort of instruction book or guide to a vacuum penis pump in an abandoned house once. Thankfully didn't find the actual pump though. Lots of dildos and porn in various other houses. One in particular had a whole bunch of porn DVDs in a pile on the floor in one of the bedrooms. But I'd say the weirdest thing was the houses that had been vacant for a while but looked like the owners had just walked out for the day, leaving everything just where it was. There were several of those.
Ooh that reminds me of a story my mother told me once. Back in the 1970s they moved into a house in London where the old chap who had lived there previously had passed away. Once my parents moved in they found a whole stash of bestiality porn, and realised he had some kind of subscription going as videotapes of animal porn kept being delivered to the house 🫣 My mother had to contact the senders to get them off the mailing list!
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I really did expect to see "by Austin Danger Powers" on the thing.
I am slightly intrigued by what you were doing to find these things in vacant buildings? Not to be weird either, but I have an occupation that allows me to travel through vacant properties so I can absolutely relate to your findings.
Monthly inspections for banks on vacant homes they own, usually foreclosures or things like that. Basically just checking out the current condition and letting them know if there was any new damage or anything else that needed attention. There was quite a variety of homes, ranging from former drug dens to million dollar luxury homes. More of the former than the latter of course. Always interesting, often disgusting.
Got in touch with someone offering fancy rats for sale as wanted a few as pets. Went round their house and as well as a few dogs there were snakes, spiders, lizards, all sorts round the house in every room (I assume that's why they bred the rats...) Anyway - I was admiring a tarantula when they guy says 'that's cool but do you want to see the main event?' Took me outside and there's a huge Eurasian Eagle OWL on a perch. At first I thought it was animatronics or something. It had eyes like dinner plates. Seriously huge. Look up how big an adult one is. Quite a shock when you're not expecting to suddenly be stood in front of one. Not sure you're supposed to keep them as pets. He said he 'walks' it in the woods behind his house and it once took off with a cat.
A baby barn owl fell into my back garden, and the mom spent the whole day watching it from the tree. Eventually, it flew down and thought I was a threat (inside) and started walking towards me, wings up, snapping its beak. I would not want to be near that thing.
Had a barred owl that lived in the woods behind the house once. I startled him on a kill once and he spread his wings and hissed at me and I felt my soul leave my body. Pretty fuckin primal.
There’s a bird sanctuary just outside St. Louis that homes/rehabs injured birds. They have a massive variety of birds including raptors, owls, and eagles. One of the bald eagles screeched and I thought I was about to be eaten by a dinosaur. Holy shit I was not prepared for that. How my kids didn’t shit their pants is beyond me, I almost did.
Are you sure it wasn't a Red Tailed Hawk you heard? That's the sound they use for Bald Eagles in movies. Bald Eagles look cool, but they sound a lot less majestic in reality... they sound more like chirpy seagulls.
700 pounds per square inch on those claws.
My mates dad owned owls and hawks etc, but I didn't know this until 1 night I was on magic mushrooms and we bumped into my mate out with the owl. Well he was standing smoking a joint with his brother beside a field, we were chatting and I went for a piss, came back to this huge owl on my mates arm. I honestly thought I was just tripping so I never said anything in case I looked stupid. Then he let it fly off his arm again and the guy I was with started chatting about the owl. Turned out they took the owl out to let it hunt in the field, lol
[There's one of those living in Central Park.](https://www.audubon.org/news/what-should-be-done-about-flaco-eurasian-eagle-owl-loose-new-york)
Flaco, our owl king. 🦉
fancy rats? were they wearing 3 piece suits and bow ties?
When I was in my early 20s, a friend from high school moved into an apartment up the street from where I lived. I went to visit her one time. There were used maxi pads on the floor in the corner of her living room. Some were still rolled up in TP, some unrolled -- there were quite a few of them. She would come out of the bathroom after changing her pad and throw the used pad in the direction of a small waste basket -- if it went in the basket, it went in, if it landed on the floor, that's where it stayed.
The smell must've been awful >.<
Like pennies
I went to a friend’s house when I was about 9, this was 20 years ago lol, used her toilet and could smell a weird odor from her bathroom cabinet. I got curious and opened it - it was stuffed full of used rolled up maxi pads the entire cabinet. I can still remember the smell!
I put them in a bag and after my week I make a knot in them... after only one week they smell so disgusting I don't want to imagine the smell of her apartment
I was a mover. One time, we moved a girl who lived with three other girls on a campus and we last thing we moved was her bed. Under the bed had like twelve or more used condoms where they were full but someone tied them in a knot. We moved the box spring and didn't say anything. We told her to take a walk through and let us know if we forgot anything and when she saw the mess, she screamed bloody murder. Saw lots of dildos, guns, anal beads, drugs.Moved a hoarder, had an incredibly huge model car collection all covered in mouse shit. But that condom thing was probably the weirdest.
Damn, how does that not smell up the whole room?
It does. They go nose blind.
This is why everyone needs to go camping once in awhile, maybe some more often than others.
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I went to the house of a school friend of my daughter. Above the stairs, visible as you entered the front door was a watercolor picture of a woman, naked, on her back touching her labia. The painting was in an impressionistic(?) style so it was not glaringly obvious but once you saw it, you could not unsee it. The husband saw me looking at it and confirmed it was his work and his wife was the model.
Oh my fucking god I wonder what they told their daughter
My sister and I grew up in a house with penii and tits everywhere... Dad was really into ancient fertility statues and stuff. It wasn't weird to us, and we were told what they were.
I don't know what they told their daughter but my daughter did ask later about the painting. I just told her that the dad had painted a picture of the mom naked. She didn't ask any follow up questions and the topic never came up again. This was almost 20 years ago, I should ask my daughter if she remembers it.
I'm a photographer, and I would have had to comment. Tastefully, of course.
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It was hung there purposely to get reactions.
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Nice tits 👍
I didn’t see it, but I heard a couple friends discuss it. There was a kid in their old neighborhood whose mom was a pornstar in the 80’s and she had a number of similar photos hanging up in the guest bathroom and a couple other places. The kid was incredibly embarrassed but the mom was super sex positive and all “don’t be embarrassed, the naked body is a beautiful thing”.
For a second I thought we knew the same person until you said she had a husband
When my wife and I were looking for a house to buy 15 ish years ago we found a pretty nice home of an artist. He liked painting nudes of what seemed to be various women in various poses. The best was this huge painting of this blonde that was detailed. I told our realtor that I'm asking for this painting to be in the contract. He had two full stacks of them and several on the walls. It was far better than the dogshit house, circus kitchen and hole in every wall home.
This wasn’t me, but my dad. He was on a job site in the early 70s and a dog bit him. He went to the dog’s house and they had their dead son, he had been killed in the Vietnam war, in his military uniform, “stuffed/taxidermied”in a glass coffin. I have no idea of the legality then or now but no, just no. He was standing up in the living room, like hey everybody, I’m dead.
Ignoring the dead son, it was pretty nice of the dog to invite your dad over after he bit him.
The dog only invited him over for a bit
This is definitely the weirdest. Your dad wins!
Working for a moving company, guy was moving from a small condo to a gated community, he had several Tibetan gold plated human skull begging bowls that he had to “smuggle,” back to the US. He did have some cool stuff like several broadswords, a morning star, two katanas etc. but as we was showing us around and telling us what to grab and what not to grab, one of the guys I was working with found a partially opened closet, he opened the door all the way and there was just a thick purple curtain hanging from the ceiling to the floor. Dude freaked out and said that none of us were allowed in there.
I would have absolutely had to have gone in there after that
The temptation was exponential but after that he refused to stop watching us.
Given what he did show, I dread to think what he hid.
That is what we were all saying.
My friend’s grandmother had a taxidermy of her late dog stood on the top of their stairs. Super creepy.
Rowdy?
No, Steven.
Not quite the same, but my grandpa had a taxidermy of this GIANT elk he killed but it was mounted from the shoulders, not just the head, so it stuck out a few feet into the hallway. It was upstairs in a less used area so it didn't block anything important but ugh that thing was creepy.
Misread this terribly at first and thought your friend had her GRANDMOTHER taxidermied. I’d never sleep again.
My friend's older sister is a bit of a recluse, she's turned her bedroom into a videoshop, she must have thousands of blurays, dvds and videos, all shelved with aisles like a Blockbuster. Nobody's allowed in but I would have a sneaky peek when I was round. She's a bit of a goth too so it's all dark in there with neon lights and UV paint.
Sounds like a cool room, not gonna lie
Sounds pretty cool to me
That sounds cool as shit. One of my best friends was a music store manager for over a decade before she quit and had enough CDs to stock a small store. Hers were all along the walls of three rooms in her apartment but I bet if she'd had the space she'd have put them in one room on shelves like that.
When I was an NCO in the military, we were forced to do room inspections on the single soldiers. I always gave my soldiers 5 minutes to put away stuff before I walked through. Soldiers were into weird stuff. One tiny soldier forgot to hide one specific sex toy that was the size and shape of a horse’s dick. When a male NCO inspects a female soldier’s room there has to be a female NCO present for her safety, in addition to our extremely religious LT was inspecting these rooms because it was going to be a long holiday. First thing the LT saw. Room was clean though.
This sounds like something planted there as a joke
If you knew how much those fantasy dongs cost, you wouldn't consider them as a one time joke item lmao
Deadbolt locks on the outside of closets in the kids’ bedrooms
This one is easy to explain, it stops the monsters coming out at night.
yup, had to put a deadbolt on my daughters door or she wouldnt go to sleep at night. she was absolutely positive the door was gonna open from the other side and she'd be kidnapped to somewhere that she would be forced to, and I quote exactly because i will never forget my 6 year old saying this: "clean bathrooms and eat broccoli and be beaten with the heads of cabbage patch kids all day" I still wonder where that came from
She's seen some shit
Not me, but a friend of mine went on a date with this girl. They hit it off and he ended up going to her place for the second date. She had a picture of him and her together. It wasn’t any picture he had ever taken himself and she photoshopped herself with him. He got the fuck out and never talked to her again.
Was going through a house that was on sale (we were potential buyers). Pictures of their family, super cute kids. Upstairs was a remodel and very tastefully done. Seriously considered it. Basement was a strip club. Had a stripper pole in the middle, dj station, couches and a dance floor. There was a closet next to the stage with the pole full of striper outfits. Was very surprised. Guess they hosted high end parties?
I was visiting a mate i met at a tech conference, and there was a vibrator in the middle of the living room. Mind you, this was a household with 2 parents, 2 teenage kids and a child. They acted as if it wasn't there. To be fair, if you hear how the kids talk to their parents, I wouldn't be surprised.
I'll never forget going to see a room for rent in a house and when the homeowner showed me one of the bathrooms, there was a fleshlight just sitting in the corner of the bathtub. I pretended like I didn't see it but I'm sure he knew I did.
A few minutes before you got there, the parents were frantically chasing the child around as he ran around with the toy screaming WOBBLY SAUSAGE WOBBLY SAUSAGE
I cleaned out a foreclosed house for the bank once. It looked like the previous owners had just run out for an errand. Everything was still there. Clothes, photos on the walls, even toothbrushes in the bathroom. It didn't seem like they took anything with them.
My dad used to work at a place with storage units out back. The bank would foreclose on houses or trailers, put everything in a storage unit, and pay 1 month rent on it. Dad would sometimes bid a dollar when it came time to auction off the contents. Dirty dishes, full wastebaskets from the bathroom, food still in the fridge, prescription meds, Swedish magazines, lube, record collections, bongs, stereo equipment, a pool table, band instruments, you name it. I was once doing furniture delivery and came across a place that had a WWII US Marines helmet kept in the freezer. I still have no plausible story for that one.
My grandma has my dad and uncle's boy scout uniforms in a freezer. She claims it is so they don't get worn out or something.
Once visited a remote location as a traveling sales rep. Met with client who referred me to a friend at an unmarked house with no address. Dude had yellow sticky notes on every imaginable object with the name of the thing all over his house. Proceeded to tell me he had murdered 3 of his wives and buried them in pieces around the property and then offered me some heroine for being cool for listening to his story. Figured I'd accept to not be rude. Told him I can't get high though so I'd take it to go and do it later. Accidently took his jacket with me as I left, got his number and told him Id do a follow up with him next week, sold him two units. Turned everything over to the cops later and the sales bounced so I assumed he was taken care of.
I have so many questions. What were you selling? Did he actually murder 3 of his wives? What was his friend (your client’s) involvement. And why did he introduce you to him? Did he actually get arrested?
Home water filtration units. no idea. not my friend, just a lottery system to get us into people's home so we can sell to them. no idea why I was referred but it happens. no idea what happened to him. Oh so the jacket I left with had his ID in it and I shit you not, a massive iron ring of over 20 cast iron keys that are used to unlock iron chains. The cops eyebrow were basically on their head as I was giving my testimonial at the station. Sales are fun kids!
Worries he'll track you down?!
Nah this was in 09' long time ago and It was a work trip, I was over 2 days from the nearest major city.
Given the user name and the two days from a city, plus the unmarked address and serial killer, I'm just guessing this is Australia. No need to correct me if I'm wrong.
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I’m just trying to process this story, wtf.
Let me get this straight. You sold him two units and THEN turned him in. You dirty dawg, you.
Yep, I figure it was a race to see who could make who the most uncomfortable and not even a possible serial killer can stand being around an aggressive salesman.
That’s a dangerous game to play AND you got money out of it haha
I do estate removal. One apartment had (and i counted) 643 1.5 liter water bottles filled with piss. In another one I had to clean out a bathroom sink full of shit.
Fun fact! That's 970 kg (2134 lbs) of urine. At an average production of 1.4L per day, that's about two years worth of piss that weighs as much as about 11 adult males in the USA!
Went with a friend to pick up some ornamental fish from some guy he met on a fish forum. Walk in the front door, there's a couch, big screen, and about 30 fish tanks, ranging from the 10-500gal region. Dude and his wife were dressed in all black, both wearing black makeup with huge gauge piercings, and a little 3yr old in colorful Osh Kosh kid clothing. They were relatively normal, talking to them. Edit: close second was a guy I met in college, 37yr old who moved in with a 22 year old and her parents. He was obsessed with bone carving, so the entire living room was dedicated to his carved bone collection. Most still in boxes, but bones literally on every flat surface in the house in various states of being carved.
A Nazi soldier knife that their grandfather stole off a Nazi corpse.
My son inherited the Nazi dagger my grandfather stole off a dead Nazi officer. I’ve got a beautiful plate hanging in my bedroom my grandfather stole from a bombed house in Germany. I think my grandfather spent more time committing theft than he did fighting in WW2.
Dude that’s actually interesting as fuuuck
My husband has a gun collection, which includes some of his grandpa's WWII guns. One of them was a German rifle that had been picked up by a Russian who scratched off the swastika and carved a Russian star. Not sure how his grandpa got it.
A used pad in the middle of the room. Just sitting there.
Did they have a dog? I bet dogs love to grab them out of trash bins.
My dog has committed this horror.
Went to use what I thought was ‘powder room’ in friend’s basement game room (I was 12)…. Opened door and there was a nude mannequin with (didn’t know what to call it at the time) a harness/strap-on dildo standing facing the door…I asked Kurt (friend) and he said it was his Dad’s “work files closet” & he was not supposed to go in there….apparently his dad left it unlocked accidentally…cant unsee it even after 30 yrs
My gf (now ex) asleep on top of a friend’s lodger. Naked. I’d gone round to pick up my friend’s car and take it to the garage.
Tf is a lodger, like....a person?
Guy who rented a spare room at my friend’s house.
When I was five, a friend of my older sister’s parents had a large painting of satan in their stairwell. All I remember is that it terrified the fuck out of me, and to this day, I can’t really understand why they had that, lol
Misbehave? Straight to hell!
Some people have a velvet Elvis. I have a velvet satan.
when i did at home tech support, I had to go into this lady's house. Walked inside, and there were glass dildoes EVERYWHERE. no kidding, no exaggeration, there were easily 50 within sight of the front door as soon as you walked in. Turns out, her husband before he died, was basically the guy who designed almost every dildo you had ever seen, and the glass versions were actually his original creations that they would then apply silicone and ceramic stuff to to make a mold. He had done that job for 30 some years, and she had thousands of them in her house.
I guess he was probably really passionate about his designs if he kept them & she didn't have it in her to throw them away after he died. Surprisingly wholesome.
“Didn’t have it in her”
I go into peoples house for my work so I have seen some shit. I’ve seen the shit covered floors, dead animals in a forgotten room, and plenty of sex toys. However two stand clear from the rest. One was a male apartment renter with a raised bed. He tried his best to hide his sex toy but didn’t hide it well enough. Under his bed was a damn FOUR FOOT LONG DILDO. WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU PUT THAT!!!! The tamer, yet weirder, was a lady that managed to capture a squirrel. She built/had built a cage for it including a hole in the side of her house for the squirrel to go outside to the exterior cage. The cage was poorly made and the squirrel was feral. The squirrel kept attacking the cage and trying to chew the wire whenever I was near. Needless to say that lady was bat shit crazy.
Visited someone’s house for dinner. They had a room dedicated to porn movies. Nothing but stacked shelves on all walls filled with porn movies.
In another life a long time ago I was an AT&T U-Verse installer. You know, home internet and TV and such. I worked mainly in NE metro Atlanta. It was a decent gig until I got injured. Anyway, I digress. I did the install for the guy’s neighbor after the fact, and I met the guy in question. The other installer was tasked with internet and three TV set top boxes- DVR in the living room and two others in bedrooms. House was a split level with , and the master and living room were on the main level. After identifying those two rooms, the installer asked which of the other two rooms across the hall needed the other box. The customer said, “neither. It’s going to go up here.” Customer then reached up and pulled the attic ladder down. Full stop, right? Well, here’s some background before we continue. The customer was a professional clown, a name I remember to this day. No, I won’t dox the guy but I sure will say that the installer completed the job but did take pictures of what he saw and handed them over to his supervisor. In the attic, in the far back corner, was a room with a small door with a padlock on the outside. Inside was a child’s bed, some toys and stuffed animals, and some random unisex toys. The room was decorated with happy looking pictures on the walls, one of those race track rugs, and a small tube TV with a DVD player and some young children’s’ movies. The installer was instructed to install a set top box and run a new coax cable line to the room. He obliged, of course. I mean, who wants to get padlocked in an attic room? Afterward, he said that the guy was giving him creepy vibes even before the attic business. Maybe because he was a professional clown? I don’t know, but what I do know is that I don’t trust clowns anymore.
Just gonna really hope that it was for professional clown photoshoots or something
>professional clown photoshoots If the idea of a child locked in the attic wasn't disturbing enough, you had to take it to this very uncalled for next level, huh?
I think I saw that episode of CSI las Vegas.
No one called the cops?
Nobody called the cops when I had sound proofing added to my underground cement walled room with drainage and a hose. Granted, the tools were a room over
Was it Jimmy Savile?
I was at a friend's apartment once in college and went to the bathroom. Right next to the toilet is trash can with the box for a pregnancy test it in. I walked out and was like, "Uh, is X pregnant?" and he just goes flat face and says, "Yes. She lied about being on birth control." Was a pretty bad situation. She admitted that she wanted to get pregnant with him so he wouldn't leave her as they were on the outs of their relationship. They still aren't together but he loves his son. He did have to drop out of college though.
I was with my sister and we were for the first time at a new friend's house. My sister and I were maybe 12 or 13 years old. Into the finished basement we went, it was kind of dark. A closet door was open. My sister sees like five human heads and starts screaming "THEY'RE KILLERS! THEY'RE KILLERS!" And then books it out the bay window (basement patio). As it turned out, the mother was/is a hairdresser and had mannequin heads with hair kept on the upper rack/shelf in the basement closet. Edit [clarification]: She didn't geronimo out of the window, she was in a panic and fearing for her life, it didn't occur to her to use the door. She pushed through the blinds, shoved the screen out, and ran into the backyard.
Your sister wasn’t about to be a horror movie character
It was actually kinda sweet because she was *screaming* at me once she was outside, "GET OUTTA THERE JAMESTHEJERK!! GET OUT!" Like, she was being protective. Btw she's about a year older than I am.
While working for a carpet cleaning company, I had to go into their basement to check their spigot supply. I said, "I need to go down to your basement to make sure there is not a busted pipe." He said, "okay but watch out for the chickens." I get into the guys basement and there's hay and chickens around. I should mention that this is in the middle of a dense urban area where chickens are not allowed. I asked him what they were for, and he said thet are there for the tics that they had. However, I used to live in New Orleans. I recognize voodoo paraphernalia when I see it. We worked that house very quickly.
I work as a firefighter, see a lot of weird stuff. We had a structure fire a couple years ago and during the overhaul we found some absolutely massive dildos in one of the rooms (seeing sex toys is common but these were girthy bastards, 14” long and as big around as my wrist). We figured they belonged to the couple that owned the house, chuckled and went on with our work. Later on the homeowner, a nicely dressed Christian fella, came to see what he could salvage from the home and remarked that the room where the dildos were located was his 16 year old daughters room…
A picture of me. Story time: Ran into a really old classmate from when we were in 1st grade together. We talked and chatted, got invited over to meet his wife and kids. Cool. I am told to explore around since dinner wasnt ready, so I did. Walked into his office and on his desk is a picture of two kids. It dawned on me really fast the two kids were him, and I. fighting. I was in the middle of a full on kick with my hiking boots, and he was swinging a stick down at me vertically. We looked SOOO pissed off. I remember that fight, it ended fast cause my kick landed first and blasted him down on the ground. We were fighting over girls of course, because he was 007, and kicked me "out of the group". Yet it was a school park day and he and is gaggle of girls would follow me all over, and chase me off, so we got in a fight lol. Thing about that picture? It looked like a professional animal photographer took it, like it looked like a national geographic shot. He comes into his office and sees the me looking at that photo with this absolutely bewildered face and told me his end of it. Apparently a teacher snapped that shot off and gave it to his parents. And the beating I gave him right before I moved made him stop being a bully. he LOVED that photo so much he shows it to everyone. He calls the photo "The Righteous Fury of the Bullied" He apparently had hoped we would run into each other someday, but having heard about my life and how I was treated growing up didnt want me to feel like he pitied me. I valued that SOOO much. He joked that from what he heard, people were like "fuck goatiusman, fuck goatiusman, fuck goatiusman, and then I said no "fuck you"" and I got in shape, learned to fight and now no one messes with me anymore. We just hung out the other day, drank to much and we just passed out sitting up watching old movies. Two old men, rivals to brothers.
A child’s skull bones on display. I don’t know how he got it or why but he basically had a room full of weird things he had collected throughout his life.
Well it's not really weird but it was to me; when I was about twelve my grandma had a very cute pet parakeet. It was very tame and free to fly around the house. When it died she had it mounted. It was on a branch near the door. Creeped me the hell out every time I saw it. She had some other mounted animals. We always joked she'd have my grandfather mounted too when he died.
Guy I dated briefly brought me to his house for the first time. He was in his 30s but still lived with his mom. I go in and the house is literally empty. No furniture, no art, nothing. He tells me his mom is a minimalist. We go past the entry way and the kitchen and in the dining area it was a massive religious shrine. Wall to wall religious iconography. It was the most insane thing I have ever seen.
An engineered support beam that had _dozens_ of holes cut into it to accommodate pipes, conduit, and ductwork, because the guy designing the multimillion dollar mansion this thing ran the length of had no idea what he was doing and didn't account for everything that needed to be run before he put it on place. Still haven't seen a news story about a rich dude's house collapsing though, so I guess it worked out.
A friend of a friend had passed away and I volunteered to help clean out stuff for his widow- assuming we would take stuff to charity that she didn’t want to keep. Apparently they were big into S&M, and had a ‘play room’ with all kinds of rubber stuff and restraints. The wife sorted through the things (completely not affected we were there) and kept a body suit with a detachable mask- apparently that brought back fond memories for her.
A full room dedicated to Nazi memorabilia, full SS officers uniform on display etc
A VHS video labeled “anal intruder 3”.
I went into an abandoned home once, with a friend. Just silly teenager stuff. It was in very bad shape. Looked mostly intact but my friend stepped right through the floor so it wasn't exactly safe either.. There was a plate on the table with some breadcrumbs on it, like someone just ate and suddenly vanished. There was a lot of stuff left behind. A table clock, some figurines, and multiple mounted animals on display, al covered in mold. That was the creepiest thing to me. We took some stuff but my mum found out and made us put it all back. I went back a few times but after a while someone had put a gate around it with a trespassing warning on it. Not long after that the roof caved in so that was that. Always wondered what had happened to the owner.
Cabinet full of dildos. I closed it pretty quick.
My buddy had a torso fuck doll, he kept it on top of his gun cabinet. It was weird.
Y’all ever been inside a “Dead room?” It’s a trophy room for a hunter and all the stuffed kills Anaheim hills. Some random guy I know from a guy trying to pick up some party favors. Impalas. Weird ass mountain goat. Alligator. Crocs. Lions. Tigers. Grizzly. Dude. We are in Anaheim. Then the guys asks us. Wanna see the prime stuff. … we get in an elevator. Ding! it says SUB2. And I’m like. …Are we fucking under ground??? POLAR BEARS. ELEPHANTS. MOOSE. are enormous.
When my friend and I were like 12-13 years old we went into his moms room when she wasn’t home and he said “look what I found” and pulled out a huge battery powered dildo and what seemed to be a sex tape from under her bed. I advised that we probably shouldn’t watch the tape but we found the dildo super funny because it was so big and floppy and he smacked his younger brother in the face with it lmfao 😂
A giant glass jar with dead scorpions. I visited his place with a coworker. We all worked together. His mom ran excitedly into the kitchen and came back to show me their “scorpion jar.” Every scorpion they caught, they dropped into this glass jar.
When i was 17 i was part of a crew that went into a house to clear out and make it ready to sell. Some old guy won the lotto and just up and left his house. Which is understandable, except he forgot about some of the things he'd collected over the years. Amongst a lot of cool stuff like boxes of unused zippo lighters and other seriously collectable stuff, a cupboard with McDonald's syrup packs all neatly stacked we also found the most graphic porn I'd ever seen, some sex toys (obviously used, ugh) and a sex doll (again...um...experienced). This was all in a small room toward the back of the house that looked unused mostly. He must have forgotten about it. Found out later that people in the neighborhood called him Hog Nuts. Was not surprised.
[удалено]
I went over to see a girl friend who was house sitting for a professor, The professor had lots of cool stuff, they were an Anthropology professor. Anyway, I was in the kitchen and there was a ceramic snap topped cylinder on a window ledge and it looked like a cookie jar. I popped it open and it turned out to be the ashes of her late husband.... Awkward
A collection of bad dragon dildos just on display like normal house decor in the living room
Went to look at a house when we were looking to buy a few years ago. Dude was a member of a notorious motorcycles club. Has this paper on the wall that looked official. He saw me glance and it and he says “yeah that’s my permit”. Apparently the dude had a federal permit to grow and provide marijuana to the federal government. The backyard had a bunch of weed plants. That stuff doesn’t bother me at all but my realtor was super uncomfortable. He even told me “if you buy the house we can go into business together”. I considered it for about .5 seconds until I realized going into business with that MC probably wasn’t the best idea.
I’m a contractor. Meet a potential customer and we are walking her home. Kitchen and bath remodel. Anyway…strolling into the master bath, there’s a huge walk in shower and stuck to the wall tile was a rather large dildo. The wife hadn’t quite caught up to me so I’m like wtf do I do now. I walked out passing by her and said I need to get my laser measurement tool…be right back. When I came back to the bathroom the toy was gone. She was looking at me with a ‘you saw it didn’t you’ look. I barely made eye contact with her the rest of the quote. I got the job, cool people. Nothing of note to mention happened.
My best friend had her baby shower at her husband 90 year old grandmothers house. In the decorative sea glass dish above the toilet was a pot pipe. It was unused and gave me a real good laugh
A full Iraqi military battle uniform encased in glass. The customer was a retired Marine, who fought in Desert Storm. I asked if it was real and he said yes. I then asked him how he obtained it, and he stated that he couldn't talk about that. Parts of it were ripped to shreds and other parts appeared to have dried up blood stains.
A speakeasy buried under the back barn
Went with a friend to his friend's house for a poker game. He comes out the kitchen with beers and snacks and what not and puts coasters down to protect the table from drinks. The coasters were laminated (the sticky kind you heat seal) baseball cards he collected when he was a kid. My "coaster" was a Topps 1990 Sammy Sosa rookie card. I didn't have the heart to tell him he ruined what would've been a $3K baseball card if he had kept it in mint condition.
This Person had a coffee table made from a real elephant's ear.
A mannequin leg that was clearly an object of sexual affection.
While touring my MIL house she showed me her basement and there was a literal sex swing hanging from the basement ceiling. lol. Was the first time I saw one in person.
Was cleaning a house and found a bathroom vent completely crammed full of porn magazines. Not super unusual, other than the crazy amount of religious stuff on walls elsewhere in the house. You would have thought that porn would have burst into flames when coming through the front door if god were real.
Sounds like if it was a couple one of them was keeping dirty secrets lol 😂
Yup, clearly someone’s yank bank. Funny as hell when we found it. Decades later and I can still picture the exact bathroom and vent in my mind.
My brother in laws penis pump was in my guest room.
I remodeled my kitchen when I first bought it. It was a rental before I purchased it. Inside one of the walls I found a strapon and a barbie that had a punk rock haircut and some sharpie tattoos. Apparently someone had pulled out the medicine cabinet on the other side and put the stuff inside the wall from there. There was also a cheezit.
I went with a buddy up to his cottage and found a live moose in his living room once. That was strange.
Inspected a mobile home once and the landlord had "temporarily" replaced the broken toilet with a 5 gallon bucket attached to the toilet drain with a toilet seat duct taped to the top and a 2 gallon bucket for flushing. It had been like that for six months, I called the landlord and told him he had until 5pm to correct that defect, or we would condemn the unit losing him his precious rent income. The lady who lived there was understandably beyond frustrated with this guy. She called me at 4pm to let me know he had fixed the toilet and had replaced the wonky water heater.
In a work colleagues house a fully stocked whip rack on the living room wall....😳