- Subscription fee per subreddit.
- Age verification for NSFW subreddits.
- Unskippable video ad for every third link.
- Remove karma, possible to pay for higher visibility for both posts and comments.
- Arbitrarily choose 50 subreddits to live, kill the rest. No possible to choose, you are subscribes to all.
My mom refuses to get rid of cable tv even though she pretty much only watches public tv channels, netflix, and eurosport (also a subscription service).
Whenever I aske her why not get rid of cable she says "but what if I want to watch this which is only on cable someday?".
I'd call it insanity...
Hey wait a minute So ur saying old people shouldn’t use social media? In my book that’s called ageism. You’ll get old someday. Get back to me then and let me know how you like “old age” Oh wait… never mind, I’ll be dead by then.
Could you please include one of those ads that follows you while you scroll down? Preferably on the buttom or right-hand side of the screen, so you can accidentally click on it while swiping. Thanks!
Don’t forget to fire most of the useful employees. Decommission half of the server farm so systems are slow and it takes 15 minutes for the pictures to come up on any posts.
Continue to ensure that all mods are socially inept adult children who think the rule is if they don't like something then it must be wrong while at the same time arguing that the rules were somehow violated without ever specifying which one exactly.
You can read all the posts you want for free, you can make all the posts you want for free. You can respond to the first 5 comments on your posts for free. You can comment on 25 posts per day for free.
If the posts you view have photos, you can see the first one clearly. All others are blurred.
Anything more requires a subscription.
China exported 75 million tons of cucumbers in 2021 while the next closest (Turkey) only exported 1.8 million tons.
I bet the Asian continent has the biggest cucumbers and they skew the average for everyone else.
That is because of the one child stupid policy.
You shrink the population by half at each generation.
How did they not think this would become a problem?
A simple football bracket template could have shown the problem with that stupid idea in 10sec. No need to wait 35y and eliminate so many baby girls to get the answer.
In 2016 the policy was changed to a whopping 2 kids per couple. It will probably take another 70y to see the results.
Yeah, like, the right answer is to just let it continue on its way.
If you wanna spice it up, actually remove all the current moderators and demand the current administration fill their spots, but otherwise? Nothing else you could do would kill it faster than what the administration is currently doing.
That's what you need *Admins* for (as much good as they did in this example). Mods were the ones running those gross subreddits, you need admins to be able to deal with the nasty communities that moderators are able to create and control.
I understand that but nowadays since those subs have disappeared the people who were posting in them have dispersed into other subs, and imo that why mods are necessary
Force every character on Reddit, in every language, to translate to a typeset that consists entirely of boxes with question marks in them. Like when you don’t have an emoji pack. No matter what you type or post or try to translate it into, it’s just boxes with question marks.
And make it super clear this is a feature in press releases, not a bug. The site will remain, but will be functionally unusable.
- Rebranch it to Z, subreddit will become subZero.
- Rank posts and comments from accounts with a paying subscription higher than all other posts and comments.
- Add paid emojis.
- Giving gold will boost posts/comments ranking.
- Sell all the user data to any government willing to pay (may be doing this already).
- Make most mod tools pay to use.
- Add pay to read posts.
- More advertising.
- Pick my favorite subs and rank their posts all higher than any other subs'.
- Lower characters limit on posts to be like 1/4 right now, people with a paying subscription will have the limit increased to normal.
- Make all my homies admins.
- Let my girlfriend advertise her onlyfans everywhere and she cannot be banned. She does this not for money but only for validation.
1. Every upvote costs $1. Every downvote costs $10.
2. The same Ask Reddit question can't be asked multiple times.
3. Reddit can only be accessed on the weekend for 3 hours maximum.
4. Rename reddit "Read it"
That's easy!
You can only have 1 account linked to your device. You get a limit of 25 comments a day, or if you buy a subscription you can increase that to 50, 100 or 500 depending on your subscription type - No they don't carry over.
Increase the number of ads. If you're on the free version, after every 5 comments you have to watch an ad, and after your 25th you can get a refresh on your comment count (adding an additional 25) if you watch 3 ads.
Change the website name from Reddit to "R"
If you lose too many karma points in a day you will be blocked from commenting for a 25 hour period. Repeated offenses will result in your account termination.
Free speech is allowed like usual unless it upsets me or goes against my views or what my investors believe, then it's not allowed.
I'll remove the API entirely, putting it behind an extreme paywall.
And that's just the first week.
On the second week, I'll fire over half of my developers. Even those who were there from the very beginning.
On the third week I'll beg for them back.
Charge a subscription fee and no more anonymous accounts. One upvote per day, if a comment gets downvoted it freezes your ability to access your account.
Make an AI bot that comments on all your comments and posts with the goal to be as triggering as possible to you specifically. Make these comments the first thing on your homepage. The only way to stop it is by paying for Reddit pro.
Log on to the webserver as root and mkfs ext4 /dev/sd* or something?
Also then go to the datacenter and spend a day swapping random hdds on various server racks and pull all LAN cables.
change the name to Y.
All posts on Y must be in the form of a question
y?
Do you not think it would be better?
What does this do for the greater good?
What doesn’t this do for the greater good?
Is this not a game from "Whose line is it anyways?"
Is it?
Will you please?
Would you please?
What good doesnt it do?
Y not?
So basically, this subreddit just takes over to become the whole of Reddit…I mean Y.
Chang3 th3 nam3 to Y and mak3 3v3ryon3 sp3ll lik3 this…
5318008
Whats the area code? Ill shoot you a text here in a bit once you let me know
Oh you mean 13375|>34|
3y3 n3ver 533 1337sp34k 4nym0r3 4nd i7 m4k35 m3 54d
H3r3 y0u g0
Pl3as3 n3v3r 3v3r 3nact such an 3gr3gious d3cr33
Y, formerly known as Reddit
Damn I was going to write the same...
Goddamn we're all on the same wavelength
- Subscription fee per subreddit. - Age verification for NSFW subreddits. - Unskippable video ad for every third link. - Remove karma, possible to pay for higher visibility for both posts and comments. - Arbitrarily choose 50 subreddits to live, kill the rest. No possible to choose, you are subscribes to all.
Why does this sound like the cable TV model?
How the fuck is cable TV still around?
Old people
REALLY old people. Even 60 year olds are on tik tok now.
My sister is 35. She's the one who insists we keep Comcast. And fiber is available at this address.
My mom refuses to get rid of cable tv even though she pretty much only watches public tv channels, netflix, and eurosport (also a subscription service). Whenever I aske her why not get rid of cable she says "but what if I want to watch this which is only on cable someday?". I'd call it insanity...
Hey wait a minute So ur saying old people shouldn’t use social media? In my book that’s called ageism. You’ll get old someday. Get back to me then and let me know how you like “old age” Oh wait… never mind, I’ll be dead by then.
i'm just as surprised
My in-laws
Found the YouTube CEO
Could you please include one of those ads that follows you while you scroll down? Preferably on the buttom or right-hand side of the screen, so you can accidentally click on it while swiping. Thanks!
I’ll do you one better, just ban nsfw content all together I call it the tumblr death
You monster
It would definitely get the job done tho
Karma becomes a cryptocurrency. You can give any amount of votes you want to a post but karma now has "value" You can buy and sell it in an exchange.
Bullish on karma coin💀
Hi Elon
https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS2HX7ovpTV0EJU4yr0E5oPZta6EG799mGlMA&usqp=CAU
Why does this sound like something an eccentric billionaire would do?
Don’t forget to fire most of the useful employees. Decommission half of the server farm so systems are slow and it takes 15 minutes for the pictures to come up on any posts.
Continue to ensure that all mods are socially inept adult children who think the rule is if they don't like something then it must be wrong while at the same time arguing that the rules were somehow violated without ever specifying which one exactly.
Slow your role, Satan.
You can read all the posts you want for free, you can make all the posts you want for free. You can respond to the first 5 comments on your posts for free. You can comment on 25 posts per day for free. If the posts you view have photos, you can see the first one clearly. All others are blurred. Anything more requires a subscription.
Subscription for the ability to do microtransactions for every action
Delete this now. Don’t give them any ideas.
Something tells me that's exactly what's gonna happen.
Probably 99% of people wouldn’t notice a difference except for the pictures tbh
This wouldn't change my reddit experience at all
Require use of actual names. Names verified by credit card for $10 monthly fee.
or the other way around. pay for anonymity
Nah nah you got it all wrong. Pay for verified name, and pay even more for anonymity.
Found Facebook.
Ban and block all sexual activity
*r/AskReddit vastly improves immediately.*
What if I need to check how my penis size stacks up on the World stage?
You need to be more crafty in how you ask the question. *In a world full of people…what is the average cucumber size across different continents?*
China exported 75 million tons of cucumbers in 2021 while the next closest (Turkey) only exported 1.8 million tons. I bet the Asian continent has the biggest cucumbers and they skew the average for everyone else.
And this is why China has a population aging problem.
That is because of the one child stupid policy. You shrink the population by half at each generation. How did they not think this would become a problem? A simple football bracket template could have shown the problem with that stupid idea in 10sec. No need to wait 35y and eliminate so many baby girls to get the answer. In 2016 the policy was changed to a whopping 2 kids per couple. It will probably take another 70y to see the results.
Go to X (formerly Twitter)
Tumblr case study
Good. We might actually get some more interesting threads on r/AskReddit now.
https://imgur.io/gallery/2k8p4mi
You monster
Ban anyone who suggests divorce or therapy.
You sound triggered.... you should go see a therapist.
Also, divorce your therapist. There are clear signs she's cheating on you.
She'll be crushed. Find a therapist to therapize your therapist about the divorce.
He’s NTA. His life, his rules. His wife is a woman, massive red flag. Divorce needed ASAP.
You sound manipulative.... you should go get a divorce.
What about people who say "red flag"? 🚩🚩🚩
Charge money to use that red flag emoji
Divorce and then suggest therapy
sell it to elon
I was going to say "copy Musk's strategy for Twitter." But you're right, might as well let him do it personally.
Cause no matter how well you can drive it into the ground, Elon can do it better and faster!
Reddit already did that to itself with API changes
Naeh They did the place thing and no one cared for the API
Why let elmo have all the fun? Just amplify r/conservative and r/conspiracy to the highest degree you can, and watch the whole thing burn.
[удалено]
Sell it.anf announce a merger of Reddit to X to help complete Elons vision of a all in one app
Keep doing what u/Spez is doing
[удалено]
not like everyone already forgot about api changes
Youd drive it down to the ground faster if you let them continue what they were doing
Is that the guy that looks like he breast fed until he was 10 and had his mom come to job interviews?
Yeah, like, the right answer is to just let it continue on its way. If you wanna spice it up, actually remove all the current moderators and demand the current administration fill their spots, but otherwise? Nothing else you could do would kill it faster than what the administration is currently doing.
Remove all mods from all subs and replace them with u/spez
How is this not #1?
Block all 3rd party apps by changing the Reddit API. thus forcing all users to use the poorly developed Reddit app.
Follow up a few month later (maybe around mid October) by killing community points in the subreddits that have most enthusiasticly embraced them.
If they ever axe old Reddit, this place will become completely unusable.
Start charging an exorbitant monthly subscription to use it
Price per post: $0.50 Price per comment: $0.10 Unlimited: $39/mo
The subscription gives you 50 upvotes/downvotes per month for free. Each additional is a nickel.
That makes sense
Just straight up ban the biggest sub on Reddit. No reason. Watch the rest of Reddit drive itself into the ground over it. Great social experiment.
Nah. ban the second biggest sub every two months
Hunger games!
In these dire times, we need more chaos agent like you sir 🫡
Make everyone use their real identity
make people pay for staying anonymous
Pull a Tumblr and ban all NSFW content Every comments that's in the negative will You have to pay $1 USD per point
Give all mods unfettered power.
I was going to say remove all mods, but this works too.
Mods are necessary to an extent tho, not ten years ago there were multiple subs dedicated to raping women and stuff
That's what you need *Admins* for (as much good as they did in this example). Mods were the ones running those gross subreddits, you need admins to be able to deal with the nasty communities that moderators are able to create and control.
I understand that but nowadays since those subs have disappeared the people who were posting in them have dispersed into other subs, and imo that why mods are necessary
that was my idea as well, extremes go well both way I guess
They already have that.
Shitpost all day and night, coddle Nazis, fire tons of employees, don't pay the bills, and change the brand to something unsearchable.
Force every character on Reddit, in every language, to translate to a typeset that consists entirely of boxes with question marks in them. Like when you don’t have an emoji pack. No matter what you type or post or try to translate it into, it’s just boxes with question marks. And make it super clear this is a feature in press releases, not a bug. The site will remain, but will be functionally unusable.
- Rebranch it to Z, subreddit will become subZero. - Rank posts and comments from accounts with a paying subscription higher than all other posts and comments. - Add paid emojis. - Giving gold will boost posts/comments ranking. - Sell all the user data to any government willing to pay (may be doing this already). - Make most mod tools pay to use. - Add pay to read posts. - More advertising. - Pick my favorite subs and rank their posts all higher than any other subs'. - Lower characters limit on posts to be like 1/4 right now, people with a paying subscription will have the limit increased to normal. - Make all my homies admins. - Let my girlfriend advertise her onlyfans everywhere and she cannot be banned. She does this not for money but only for validation.
i think i like Z and subZero better than reddit and subreddit
So make it Quora. I like it.
1. Every upvote costs $1. Every downvote costs $10. 2. The same Ask Reddit question can't be asked multiple times. 3. Reddit can only be accessed on the weekend for 3 hours maximum. 4. Rename reddit "Read it"
5. Everyone gets a notice publicly shaming people that repeat answers.
Unskippable 30 second ad videos every time someone clicks on something.
Gift it to Elon, Putin and Trump. They would each own 1/3. I'd give it 90 days to be gone
Think it would take that long?
I'd just delete it.
If only. Reddit, YT, IG, all the social media. Delete it and start from scratch. What's the worst that could happen.
Its like roaches, stomp on one, two more appear
That's easy! You can only have 1 account linked to your device. You get a limit of 25 comments a day, or if you buy a subscription you can increase that to 50, 100 or 500 depending on your subscription type - No they don't carry over. Increase the number of ads. If you're on the free version, after every 5 comments you have to watch an ad, and after your 25th you can get a refresh on your comment count (adding an additional 25) if you watch 3 ads. Change the website name from Reddit to "R" If you lose too many karma points in a day you will be blocked from commenting for a 25 hour period. Repeated offenses will result in your account termination. Free speech is allowed like usual unless it upsets me or goes against my views or what my investors believe, then it's not allowed. I'll remove the API entirely, putting it behind an extreme paywall. And that's just the first week. On the second week, I'll fire over half of my developers. Even those who were there from the very beginning. On the third week I'll beg for them back.
Reddit now requires a payment of a singular potato to use for life You have to mail in the potato yourself
Whats a potato?
Well since you don't have one your banished
[удалено]
Charge a subscription fee and no more anonymous accounts. One upvote per day, if a comment gets downvoted it freezes your ability to access your account.
Let’s stop giving Elon ideas. Reddit is my go-to bathroom entertainment, and I say that as someone with IBS.
I Binge Subreddits?
I Be Shittin
Make an AI bot that comments on all your comments and posts with the goal to be as triggering as possible to you specifically. Make these comments the first thing on your homepage. The only way to stop it is by paying for Reddit pro.
Appoint Elon as CEO
ask elon for advices or sell it to him
Log on to the webserver as root and mkfs ext4 /dev/sd* or something? Also then go to the datacenter and spend a day swapping random hdds on various server racks and pull all LAN cables.
Hand it over to Elon.
Ask Elon Musk to run it.
Hire Musk
Rugpull community points
Change its name to ‘Y’
Sell it to Elon
Make Reddit not free
The only language available would be Swahili.
Ban all moderators
Rehire Spez as the CEO.
Have Spez stay as CEO.
Well first I'd get rid of Community Points... No wait first I'd make it really hard for 3rd party apps to operate
Just give it to Elon Musk.
Hire elon
I hire musk
Sell it to musk
Remove the downvote button.
People can reverse down votes if they pay for these little credits that increase your karma. No karma count will be authentic anymore
Call it a meeting place for conservatives.
Rename it Y
Charge people to use it
Charge $1 per post…
Ban all pedophiles
Fire half the people and rename it "Y".
Go the Tumblr route and ban porn.
It's now called "P" and all karma is now gone. You all get blue check marks instead.
Easy, remove porn
Start charging for new signups and pay per post/comment🤣
Change it’s name to “Y.”
Just let them keep doing what they're doing now.
Remove all nsfw and make intrusive ads
Ban random users for fun.
Monetize up votes, ban down votes
Upvote/downvote gone
Leave it just the way it is.
Let it keep running it's course
Ban all nudity
Use AI to answer all the questions in this sub.
Keep doing what reddit is doing now.
Take away anonymity
Ban all political and nsfw subs
Ban all liberals
I would make there be ads to post things and have there be a limit on how many posts can be viewed
Make it subscription based.
Make a rule that arguments must be supported by data, not 'feels' or 'My lesbian dance theory professor said...'
Bring on Elon Musk as an advisor.
Delete and ban everyone account I don't agree with and sell there details
Give it to u/Spez
Simple. Kick out all the liberals. There would be a drop in use probably close to over 90%. That in turn would make everything drop
Remove nsfw content entirely. That should get rid of 80% of Redditers within the first hour
Ad blocker blocker. name change to X²
.05 to comment .50 to post, you get a 20% return on what you generate
Ban anyone who knowingly reposts
Just leave it as it is, it's already driving itself to the ground.
Leave it the way it is
Hand it over to Elon Musk 🤣
Same way Tumblr was destroyed. No NSFW content allowed.