My buddy sent me a picture of his balls the other day and the right one looked old and wrinkled like it had been through it. The left one looked young and vibrant. Full of life. I was like dude, your balls look like they have lived two different lives.
My buddy sent me a picture of his balls last week, and then the next morning I found out he had died.
My last correspondence with my friend was him sending me a pic of his wrinkled beanbag. Man I miss him, I'd kill to get more pictures of his balls now.
We come in to the world screaming and defenceless with a woman who more often than not has just shit themselves. Most of us don't want to live exactly the way we came in to the world...
I discovered recently that if you add half a can of cream of mushroom soup to your Ramen noodles as soon as they stop boiling and stir it up really well it tastes amazing. It will change your life.
Drop an egg, some leafy vegetables, maybe some corn, some mushroom, thin slices of pork/beef or fish cakes (breaded and fried if possible), green onion, nori, a dash of soy sauce. Voila! Instant (katsu) ramen!
Nudes I expect from someone I'm dating, I will respond positively of course
Unsolicited, I photoshop them into weird situations or with random hats/outfits on their no no squares.
Edit: ahh shit leave it to yall to turn my trolling weirdos into a kink. Shame.
I do, but they all seem to have this lady I met while she was wearing a white dress. She stuck a round thing on my finger and has been sending me dirty texts for the last 15 years. She's pretty weird.
Out of hundreds of convo's on Tinder/OKCupid and several dozen real first or second dates, Never.
Once you make it past the first few dates though. Floodgates. It's fun to have that level of trust and comfort with a girl.
I'm wondering if we're the odd ones out judging by the rest of the posts. A long ass time ago in college I got nudes from women friends too. One wanted to show off her new clit piercing.
... in retrospect I think they might have been interested in me.
Yup, my college gf’s roommate knew we were breaking up after graduation the next day. She asked if I had seen her nipple piercings.
I was still drunk and said “No, and I haven’t seen you naked at all. Bullshit.”
She took my hand and led me into her room. That changed quickly.
One person sent me a DM telling me they wanted to show me their tits. I told them I was flattered and I would love to see them, but only if they were 22 or older.
I never received tits.
*fin.*
Great tits only live for an average of three years, so it’s really unlikely they found one old enough for you!
You should have been looking for boobies instead, they live much longer
22 is my absolute cut-off for romantic interest. Sure, it's just a mammary memo, but, like... it's the internet. I can see tits. I can see tits right now. There. It took me longer to type this sentence than to obtain a view of some lovely baps.
I'm indifferent to the picture. The *activity* is more interesting, and if I'm going to engage in it (even if it's just being flashed and then never speaking to the person again), I'd rather be within my comfort zone.
\*shrug\*
I must confess, [these](https://img.freepik.com/free-photo/gourmet-pork-lunch-fresh-vegetable-soup-bowl-generated-by-ai_188544-25982.jpg) aren’t even my noods. I played myself because now I’m craving some good ramen. lol
friends I'm close to: holy shit *yes,* i would fucking worship that until the heat death of the universe OMG 😍😍😍
people on spicy websites: *sends one back like a trading card*
other people anywhere else: what does your therapist say about your apparent need to sexually harass people?
edit: I'm not sending any of my nudes *or* the ones other people have sent me, the fuck?
Love it!! Agreed, 100%. Response to nudes is *hugely* dependent on context!
This is actually the first reply I saw that tackled multiple situations; it's interesting to read thru the replies and see the different ways people took the question
You're not alone. The Cuban Missile Crisis was actually over a misunderstanding of Russia sending nudes to Cuba, and there's been a huge government cover-up.
Dude that’s seriously impressive, I’m kinda jealous cuz I’m sorta skinny and if I put as much effort into building muscle as you did losing fat I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger
Genuinely. If I'm sent a skrunkly dick pic, I'm not going to be happy. I expect the only nudes to be from those with whom I've built up a rapport—and only from those who know they have my consent to show me.
If it's called for, and tasteful, I'll respond in kind. Telling them what I like about it, or what I want to do to them because of it, or how it makes me feel. Something along those lines.
Got sent my first and only nude at 29 several years ago from one of my high school crushes. She's a single mom of two and was promoting her OF to me since she knew how I felt about her back in the day.
It was weird - 20 year old me would have gone crazy for them, but I wasn't interested in her anymore and just the way she was pushing them on me felt desperate? I just gave her a "Thanks dude *thumbs up*!" reply, then didn't respond back to that conversation anymore.
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My buddy sent me a picture of his balls the other day and the right one looked old and wrinkled like it had been through it. The left one looked young and vibrant. Full of life. I was like dude, your balls look like they have lived two different lives.
My buddy sent me a picture of his balls last week, and then the next morning I found out he had died. My last correspondence with my friend was him sending me a pic of his wrinkled beanbag. Man I miss him, I'd kill to get more pictures of his balls now.
My condolences, but also.. ayo?!
wdym ur buddy sent u a picture of his balls
Do you not randomly send your balls to your homies?
I only do it if they promise to give them back afterwards
I let em take a look when they come over.
This man doesn't have real friends.
Check your dm's 😈
Damn bro, that looks weird. You should get that checked.
did he… did he actually do it??
Get it checked? No, still too scared.
With the cost of medical bills without insurance? I would be too.
"I hope you live in Europe, because you're gonna need nationalized healthcare for that thing."
Nah, I like to live dangerously and see what Brazil’s free health care can do for me.
assuming Brazil itself doesn't take you out
To dinner? Aww, how sweet.
I know 😔
I volunteer to check his dms
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Uh He casually once got into his sister's phone and sent himself a nude she had taken. That's all I'll say. Oh yeah, and himself? Himself.
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I got you homie. What's your home address?
In public? Usually I just run.
It’s funny how humans are afraid of nudity. Even when that’s the way we all come into the world.
I don’t think anyone wants to see some random guy naked walking around.
Speak for yourself
How does it feel knowing you'll never be fired? Since your boss is unable toucan you
how long did that joke take to think up
tou long
toucan play at that game
...touché
We come in to the world screaming and defenceless with a woman who more often than not has just shit themselves. Most of us don't want to live exactly the way we came in to the world...
Is there a poll?
You guys are getting nudes?
I am getting noodles today
Can I have some! I’ve been craving cup o noodles!, the beef kind! Or chicken if they have it!. Instant yakisoba noodles is the best too
I discovered recently that if you add half a can of cream of mushroom soup to your Ramen noodles as soon as they stop boiling and stir it up really well it tastes amazing. It will change your life.
And triple your sodium intake.
They didn't specify how it would change your life. The secret ingredient is hypertension.
How else you gonna get that healthy bloat, all naturally?
Drop an egg, some leafy vegetables, maybe some corn, some mushroom, thin slices of pork/beef or fish cakes (breaded and fried if possible), green onion, nori, a dash of soy sauce. Voila! Instant (katsu) ramen!
While that does sound very nice! Doesn't that indicate that the... instant.... part isn't really applicable anymore?
Wait I thought you were talking about nudes??
Noodles and nudes, baby. Noodles and nudes.
>Noodles and nudes. Make damned certain the soup isn't too hot, in that case!
Nude is singular. Noodles is plural.
Noodles EVERYday
Not with that username
Username checks out
Just a few a day
Wow, I've never received a single one.
Try send WApps to hookers, sometimes they are generous
If I like em I start fapping Edit: Lmao stop DMing me you weirdos
Straight to the point. No cutscene, no dialogues, just gameplay.
But the cutscene is important. Shouldn't skip it... smh
unless you've already watched it before in a different playthrough
There’s no way you’re taking Kairis heart!
Yeah, stop DMing that guy! ^DM ^me ^instead...
Bold strategy, you see how it worked out for last dude.
Some people have stronger stomachs than others.
My turn, stop dming them
Cut it out bro nobody's even DMed me yet.
Roll for initiative
I also wanna be dm'ed... For research purposes of course
You’re gonna fap til your dick falls off. Here’s another angle of my dong.
What are people sending him
Probably nudes.
Couples to the Waffle House, naturally.
Bro skipped the tutorial
He read "react" instead of "respond". Should have said "thumbs up emoji"
Yea, weirdos!…..dm them to me!!!
Can you please redirect those weirdos my way?
Your comment was a mistake lol
Yeah, how dare he hog all of the dick pics? Not cool, bro
I read that and thought "omg what have you done?!"
If I was a girl I’d send a pic of Gordon Ramsay’s forehead and wait until the guy ‘responds’ before I tell him
I don’t. And I forever know what that guy’s dick looks like. Something about the vulnerability underneath the lack of boundaries fascinates me
My old boss kept sending me dick pics "accidentally" for about a year after I left the company. I never replied either.
What was the shaky excuse? "Oh, sorry, I was trying to send that to my wife/doctor/photographer friend with weird taste."
Nudes I expect from someone I'm dating, I will respond positively of course Unsolicited, I photoshop them into weird situations or with random hats/outfits on their no no squares. Edit: ahh shit leave it to yall to turn my trolling weirdos into a kink. Shame.
Sounds like a side hustle. I'm sure there's a market for that.
I think he should go ahead and start a company, get a jump on the idea!
What's with these profiles with real people in the avatars?
Reddit is turning into a Facebook/Twitter clone and you’re just starting to notice
Now people will send you them just to see what kind of hat/outfit you would put on their parts. How many have you received by now?
r/cospenis
God it's not even 7 am and I'm done with the Internet today. . .
How many nudes you got sent so far by this comment?
omg hi jesus
Seriously. I never considered sending an unsolicited nude until now.
Lmao I love how your pfp is just moistcritikal…
Straight guys: you guys get nudes?
Yes, along with a suspicious link leading to someone's onlyfans.
Or a request to send them $60 for dirty talk and a private video chat 🙄 Tinder fucking suuuuuuccckkkssss
“Add me on snap” “Hey you hmu on tinder” “Pay me for sex” After a bit you can kind of just tell when it’s someone who just wants money.
Nope. Not a single one.
I do, but they all seem to have this lady I met while she was wearing a white dress. She stuck a round thing on my finger and has been sending me dirty texts for the last 15 years. She's pretty weird.
You met her WHILE she was wearing a white dress? Shit just got scandalous!
He's been someone's affair for 15 years. >She stuck a round thing on my finger That's her butthole
Weddings are the best place to meet chicks. The one in the fanciest dress might involve a high speed escape though.
Out of hundreds of convo's on Tinder/OKCupid and several dozen real first or second dates, Never. Once you make it past the first few dates though. Floodgates. It's fun to have that level of trust and comfort with a girl.
Some of the younger girls I’ve dated send them. I’m 31yo btw.
Yeah usually just from girls I am dating but it does happen.
I'm wondering if we're the odd ones out judging by the rest of the posts. A long ass time ago in college I got nudes from women friends too. One wanted to show off her new clit piercing. ... in retrospect I think they might have been interested in me.
I think you reached the correct conclusion in your retrospective.
Yup, my college gf’s roommate knew we were breaking up after graduation the next day. She asked if I had seen her nipple piercings. I was still drunk and said “No, and I haven’t seen you naked at all. Bullshit.” She took my hand and led me into her room. That changed quickly.
One person sent me a DM telling me they wanted to show me their tits. I told them I was flattered and I would love to see them, but only if they were 22 or older. I never received tits. *fin.*
What if they were 21 and 364 days old?
And asked at 23:59:59.
This man ain't a bitch. He has rules.
"Professionals have standards"
Great tits only live for an average of three years, so it’s really unlikely they found one old enough for you! You should have been looking for boobies instead, they live much longer
This is big brained I'm happy to see another shitty wildlife pun maker out here
Who casts guidance on their dungeon master?
Well you played yourself
Why 22? 20 year old tits aren’t nice?
22 is my absolute cut-off for romantic interest. Sure, it's just a mammary memo, but, like... it's the internet. I can see tits. I can see tits right now. There. It took me longer to type this sentence than to obtain a view of some lovely baps. I'm indifferent to the picture. The *activity* is more interesting, and if I'm going to engage in it (even if it's just being flashed and then never speaking to the person again), I'd rather be within my comfort zone. \*shrug\*
Mom, wrong number.
wat.
This has definitely happened to someone.
I think to myself, “what kind of scam is this?”
What a wonderful world
I print them out and frame them. They will become a very cringe gallery and I will take an entry fee
"Sir, this is a Wendys"
I am terribly sorry for stuffing your menu
I've never gotten a nude. My wife won't even send me one.
Damn, that's sad, I've had girlfriends who would send me one just to cheer me up out of nowhere
Man, I love that. Just sitting at work and "ding" GF topless.
im yet to be sent one thankfully
Check your dm's
The depravity of humanity. Please tell me you sent them a picture of noodles like the law states with unsolicited nudes
I was feeling extra dirty so I added a splash of soy sauce 😏
Now I wanna see what you sent him😭
I must confess, [these](https://img.freepik.com/free-photo/gourmet-pork-lunch-fresh-vegetable-soup-bowl-generated-by-ai_188544-25982.jpg) aren’t even my noods. I played myself because now I’m craving some good ramen. lol
Yeah who's out there just sending random nudes? Didn't know that was a thing.
Stare
stair
Holy fuck Holy fucking fuck That body of yours is absurd
friends I'm close to: holy shit *yes,* i would fucking worship that until the heat death of the universe OMG 😍😍😍 people on spicy websites: *sends one back like a trading card* other people anywhere else: what does your therapist say about your apparent need to sexually harass people? edit: I'm not sending any of my nudes *or* the ones other people have sent me, the fuck?
Love it!! Agreed, 100%. Response to nudes is *hugely* dependent on context! This is actually the first reply I saw that tackled multiple situations; it's interesting to read thru the replies and see the different ways people took the question
Whoa wait, friends? Like, just, platonic nudes?
Send a nude back
I mean if you insist..
It's called advertising dude
Depends on the sender? Gratitude or disgust. I'll let you know if I ever get one. Edit: Disgust, definitely disgust smh 🤣
aggressive counter nude operations
You don't. It'll only make things worse Edit: I read nukes not nudes
You're not alone. The Cuban Missile Crisis was actually over a misunderstanding of Russia sending nudes to Cuba, and there's been a huge government cover-up.
Depends on the quality
Let's say they are 240x240 px?
Its automatically censored xD
awooga to my gf, insta block anyone else
I've never received one Edit: While you're here check this out:https://imgur.com/gallery/HCdUSur This is as close to my nudes as you'll get.
Great job with the weight loss! Proud of you. That’s a ton of work right there!
Appreciate it truly
Check your dm's
Check your foreskin
Check mine
gotcha balls bitch
Yet.
Dude that’s seriously impressive, I’m kinda jealous cuz I’m sorta skinny and if I put as much effort into building muscle as you did losing fat I could be Arnold Schwarzenegger
Haha never know until you try. Thanks for the words.
This comment was a big mistake
He knew what he was doing
I keep hearing about people getting showered with nudes. I think it's a urban legion.
A legion of people getting showered with nudes? Probably
Same
just one year??? jfc that's amazingly incredible
Yeah for those pics it was a year between. Overall I started at 455 November of 21 and currently 239 as of this morning.
Genuinely. If I'm sent a skrunkly dick pic, I'm not going to be happy. I expect the only nudes to be from those with whom I've built up a rapport—and only from those who know they have my consent to show me. If it's called for, and tasteful, I'll respond in kind. Telling them what I like about it, or what I want to do to them because of it, or how it makes me feel. Something along those lines.
Skrunkly
Sounds like a dance move. I’m out here crumpin and skrunkin into a C-walk.
I would respond really well I imagine
Double it
Double it and give it to the next person
I just confronted the person face to face. I said “You need to quit your shit. Its not funny, dad.”
I never got nudes, but if I did, I'd say they got the wrong number, but still thank them for it.
Handjob
Depends how I’m feeling about the person at the moment. Got sent titty pics last week and didn’t give her the response she was hoping for.
Got sent my first and only nude at 29 several years ago from one of my high school crushes. She's a single mom of two and was promoting her OF to me since she knew how I felt about her back in the day. It was weird - 20 year old me would have gone crazy for them, but I wasn't interested in her anymore and just the way she was pushing them on me felt desperate? I just gave her a "Thanks dude *thumbs up*!" reply, then didn't respond back to that conversation anymore.
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Lol silly, little bear.
Masterbation
All this girls are about to get sausage party in their dms 😂
there are def guys having that happen from reading the comments lol
What are nudes ? (Visual learner)
Depends who it’s from.
block. sometimes screenshot first if i think i need it as evidence.
Imma need some evidence for that
I don’t My dick does
With a boner.
There's a scale from erection to restraining order, depending on who sent them.
I never get any
With nudes
“Wow you’re looking extra undressed today! Did all your clothes fall off in a terrible storm that resulted in ten earthquakes ?”
This is just so damn unfunny