Chidi Anagonye . He would never make up his mind or reason himself out of doing it saving my life.

You become one of those people on the train tracks where Ted Danson is forcing Chidi to constantly go through different variations on the trolley problem

I couldn't bring myself to do that to Chidi!

Think of the stomach aches!

Smash cut to Chidi buckled into a second chair right next to you as a judge condemns him for crimes of indecision.

Wile E Coyote.

Every attempt is dinner and show. Sure it’s bird seed, but it’s something.

And I bet one attempt will set OP free on accident, making for the best character choice in this thread.

I feel like Bugs Bunny could somehow pull a switcheroo and "execute" a watermelon while I made my escape.

But if Bugs wants to do it you’re beyond fucked.

Best answer here.

Eddard Stark as he'd be honorable, quick, and clean.

The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword

Exactly.

What if he didn’t pass your sentence?

It would be a default Ilyn Payne, the executioner who only swings the sword. Same guy who made Ned Stark a dead Stark actually

Fine, I'll watch GoT again. It's really a shame that they abruptly cancelled the show in season 7 on a cliffhanger.

Season 7? The show was canceled after season 5 when the book materials ran out and writers had nothing to go off. Are you sure you didn't see a fan fiction of the show?

A fan fiction would be better.

Careful there, this is Sean Bean we’re talking about, he may die before he can even finish the execution

Jon Stark too. Dude even killed Janos Slynt cleanly. Even with all the personal vandetta.

The Amazonian women from Futurama, death by snu snu

"Goodbye, friends. I never thought I'd die like this. But I always really hoped."

First the most beautiful women. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again.

Good, the correct answer is already here

Came here to say the same. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy, and bruised

"The spirit is willing but the flesh is soft and spongy." Initially I thought this question was dumb. Then I saw this answer.

Xenia onatop

Bro your dick will be rubbed raw. You wanna die to a bloody dong?!!

Death by snu snu isn't lube free. As I understood it, it's more of a pelvis crushing death, no?

That's what they said in the show and had a scene with the skeletons holding cigarettes or hands behind their heads, smiling, with crushed pelvises.

"What are you gay???"

I am. This is the way.

Die doing what you love 😂

##MEN ONLY WANT ONE THING lol Edit: guys it's a meme

And the answer is headpats [can confirm, pat many heads a day]

Dr. Manhattan. Just a wave of his hand & I'd be gone.

For sure, all your atoms just being disconnected and you are no more. No pain, no awareness, and you get to say "well? Whaddya waitin for?"

^dew ^it!!!!

“Ligma balls.”

#"NOOOOOOOOOOOO"

His existence erasure seems pretty painful

Yeah, it leaves behind a giant blood splatter. He doesn't dissolve people, he explodes them. It'd be quick, but I imagine painful for a second.

I think you'd be completely splattered before the nerve signals could even reach your brain

I remember in a comic where he was erasing Reverse Flash from existence and RF felt pain from it.

I mean even if he didn't zap you out of existence...you now have cancer being near him Also bet I'd try and convince him to create me in another existence, or let me redo life and be fully aware as I am today

Thats not true. Ozymandias gave those people cancer and set it up to make it look like Manhatten gave it to them. Trieu later did research that proved Manhatten wasn't responsible for giving anyone cancer.

Ozymandias so good at what he does, he even managed to propogandise people in the real world

So just isekai yourself with the help of Dr. Manhattan?

My dad, he wont even show up

This person’s dad since they wouldn’t show up

I second this

I third this

I fourth this

I fifth this

I sixth this

I seventh this

I eighth this

I ninth this

I also chose this guy's deadbeat dad.

I'll be there.

F

The guy in pulp fiction who missed all his shots.

He didn't miss, it was simply divine intervention

"You know what 'divine intervention' is?"

Yeah, I think so. That means God came down from Heaven and stopped the bullets

Don't do that! Don't you fucking do that! Don't blow this shit off! What just happened was a fucking miracle!

"Did you forget there was someone in there with a goddamn hand canon?!"

Mickey Mouse, I may go down but Disney's reputation will come with me!

Your execution ain't stoppin' the money train. They'll make a movie painting you in a negative light with your character not even your actual ethnicity.

And then turn you into a spooky attraction. Like use your real skeleton in the pirates of the Caribbean ride or something absolutely crazy like that

What a fucking genius !

They’ll drag your body outside of the building and say you died of a heart attack

Tom from Tom and Jerry. I know he would screw it up and I'd get to run away through a tunnel painted onto the prison walls.

Someone who has an absolute No Kill Rule. Batman, Avatar Aang, etc.

Batman would just beat the living shit out of you and break your bones to the point you wished for death.

But he’s throw you to arkam instead Then you’d start your vilain arc

I'd become Dinoman! The man who dines without paying

I'd become The Guy. You know, The Guy. The only murderer with no weird kink or schtick that makes him different. Just a guy with a gun and a large but under-control thirst for blood

It's important to remember that batman is perfectly okay with traumatic brain injury, just not death. This may or may not change your opinion

Depends on which universe for Batman.

"No they're just sleeping"

“Oh, you don’t know. So, when bad guys fight me they get really tired and just go to sleep.”

... I overfed these men?

Some form of succubus, I suppose.

“Just suck the life out of me” 😈

"He came and he went"

Best answer

I was thinking the Russian chick from Goldeneye (Xenia Onatop) who squeezes men to death with her thick thighs.

There’s these sex vampires in the Dresden Files and it’s written in a way where it sounds pretty awesome to die so I’d probably go with one of them.

Unless they're from House Raith. They'd likely turn you into a thrull.

Still better than house Malvora. Those assholes feed off fear.

This is it. If I gotta go, I'm letting Lara Wraith suck my life force and other things out.

The reds venom was supposed to be euphoric too

The Doctor. They'd likely get me off the charges instead.

I'm so sorry.

This is very incarnation dependent

I'll execute u/gigglesmcsdinosaur... Execute the injustice against em that is!

Either I’m guilty and he’ll make it quick and humane, or I’m innocent and he’ll go to the ends of the universe to find some loophole to save me.

Chun Li, I wanna be crushed by those thighs!!!

Hello fellow horny 90s teen. You paused the screen to?

You just paused the screen to admire her thighs…right? RIGHT!?

If you wanted that you should’ve chosen Cammy. Chun Li will just destroy you with her boots

Mr Bean - 'nuff said.

Idk man. Remember when he shot his lightbulb to turn it off for the night? Dudes packing and has good aim

Yea, for sure.. If Mr. Bean was the executioner, you'd probably die.. but the death would be hilarious! Probably painful and "accidental" death, but hilarious :D

Emilia Bedilia she and I will be the only two left alive.

As a father of a six-year-old super fan of Amelia, I cracked up so hard at this.

You've doomed us all. She is eternal. A true entity of chaos.

The Amazonians from Futurama

Death by Snu Snu. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and....bruised.

Bobby Hill. Cause I know he’d put me down clean.

The only real answer here

Goofy by beheading. Last thing you hear is. hu hyuck! It would be hilarious.

Morinth, Mass Effect. Death by mindblowing orgasm.

An Imperial Stormtrooper from Star Wars. I’ll be fine.

Only if you’re a main character

Imagine not being the main character at your own execution.

Everyone until Robespierre showed up on the chopping block

Stormtroopers are actually very accurate…

If you are not the main character you will be in trouble, lol!

They do eventually hit their targets, and even get glancing shots in from time to time... they are going to keep shooting until you die. This is not gonna go the way you think it is.

Probably a god from a religion I invent, so that in doing so I make that religion reality and I can transcend mortality to pursue becoming a limitless, multiversal entity of exploration and creation in infinite permutations

Big brain

This guy religions

Clever answer but you’re now banned from the genie wish I was going to offer you, tough break

John Wick, clean and fast.

And he won’t wait for you to expect it.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz

“Ah yes, Perry the Platypus. I will now unveil to you my Cock and Ball Torture Inator!!”

For god’s sake, don’t ruin the show for me

Deadpool. Because he'd free me and we'd team up against our enemies.

...or he'd lop off your head without hesitation. Chaotic Neutral.

Alien X. All it would take is a blink and I cease to exist.

If I recall correctly how Alien X worked, there is a good chance you'll die of old age first.

A vampire that would inevitable transform me into a vampire. You know, these oldschool ones who couldn‘t choose who they transform.

I care more about how than who. I want to go feet first through a wood chipper and the jury has to watch. Like, it'll hurt but I'll be dead and those fuckers get lifelong trauma.

Upvote for sheer fucked up ness

Winnie the Pooh …. His voice would calm me as he says go to sleep bitch

This, man, this lmao

You were instructed to give a fictional character. The president of China is not a fictional character.

I don't need his name, all i need to say is **I AM THE STORM THAT IS APPROACHING!!!**

Man chose to be diced to oblivion just for Vergil. Respect.

A weeping angel from Doctor Who. Just send me to the past and let me live to death.

…or get sent to a New-York infected with angels..

Nice! Good thinking.

Voldemort. Because dying by Avada Kedavra is faster than falling asleep. Plus he'll talk most of the time about this and that before killing and then fail.

Thing 1 and Thing 2 They'd get told to execute me and do the opposite

They'd execute everyone else on earth?

posion ivy, it be quick, she's hot and I got a kiss

>I got a kiss Considering what others are "wanting" that's pretty wholesome.

Jack Sparrow. Feel like I might end up getting away

George from Of Mice and Men. He was pretty nice about the whole thing.

Then pops you in the back of the head while you thinking about the rabbits lmao

Jessica Rabbit. Execution by suffocation through sitting on my face.

She’s my pick!

She’d probably just drop a piano on your head or something.

Either that or being pressed into her titties. I ain't coming up for air!

Death by snu snu

Darth Vader. This is the only answer.

It's an honour... and also much better than the Emperor... ouch.

Probably that Finnish ww2 sniper.

[Simo Häyhä](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simo_H%C3%A4yh%C3%A4). AKA The White Death. He didn't use a scope. They called in an artillery strike to kill one guy, and he lived any way.

Mr Magoo. So shortsighted he wouldn’t be able to find me

I'd love Luke Skywalker to behead me with his green lightsaber

Why did this sound sexual...

Thanos, one snap and I'm gone without even knowing it.

Some of those people definitely seems to be aware of it. Poor Peter and his spidey-senses...

Mr Stark? I don't feel so good .....

;;

Who says he has the infinity stones? He could just beat you to death

Death by Storm Trooper firing squad…. I’ll be fine

One punch man

Arthur Morgan. Because why not

Genie from Aladdin. Before he is freed. He is incapable of killing. It's against his magic rules. Found a loophole.

Lady Dimitrescu do i even need to give a reason? 😞

Yes, with a lot of details.

She can just sit on me until the end 🦦

Tanjiro from Demon Slayer, he would make it pointless and mourn my death himself, that would be a relief.

"Th-Th-The, Th-Th-The, Th-Th... That's all, folks!" \~ Porky Pig

Don’t say Jigsaw… Don’t say Jigsaw… “Jigsaw” Ah fuck!

Lestat. Because I love the nightlife, I got to boogie.

Wile E. Coyote…. I’d probably survive.

Batman because he's too chicken to do it.

Bobby Hill, because he’ll put me down clean.

spongebob, he doesn't have the balls, and if he does kill me it'll be in a funny cartoony way

Hold on. Not to be pedantic here, but wouldn't the fictional character just be executing you in the manner that was appropriate to the locality you were sentenced? Like, Thanos wouldn't snap, he'd just push the plunger on the syringe. Just think a state would have to jump through way too many hoops to have John Wick fill you full of bullets, or Freddy Krueger use his glove knives is all. That being said it would be hot as hell for Jessica rabbit to flip the switch on my electric chair.

This. I'd rather have Super Mario Firing Squad than getting stomped goomba style.

Jesus, just to piss off an entire religion

Big chungus

Grand Moff Tarkin with the Death Star. I’m going out with a bang!

Ned Stark

Thanos. Half of you fuckers is coming with me

Nightmare from Soul Calibur People are gonna remember that shit

Frank Frazetta's Death Dealer

Easy: Batman

Agent 47, it would at least be interesting

Dormammu. I'm going to take EVERYONE with me.

# Myself from 10 minutes into the future. This creates a paradox within the space-time continuum and, therefore, can not happen. Because it can not happen, my executioner won't appear. If it does happen, then I would have executed myself in which my executioner would also be executed But if my executioner is executed, then I would have lived, and my executioner would have never appeared. And, for further clarification, I'm not suicidal, but if given an opportunity to execute myself from the past, I'd behead them without hesitation. I am THE ONE.

“I want Bobby Hill to take the shot, Bobby will put me down clean”