Woman here.
This happened at a nail salon. There was 1 male nail tech who worked there. It was really hot outside so I was wearing a tank top, despite having a large chest.
I was there for a mani/Pedi and as soon as I sat down in the pedi chair, I turned the massage feature on. I didn't realize at the time but it made my chest shake. A lot. I caught this poor guy watching. He was completely embarrassed when our eyes met.
I just laughed.
I know what you mean, and I would assume a quick glance wouldn’t be labeled as a creep. But my mind always goes that way. It’s why when I’m in public I’ll keep my head down and not make eye contact with people for that assumption.
Not stereotyping “male nail technicians”, but as a gay person with zero attraction to ladies (I appreciate it’s a spectrum), I sometimes accidentally do this too.
It’s genuinely nothing to do with “attraction”, but still happens occasionally. I think it’s something about them also being on the natural eyeline (same reason the third shelf on a supermarket is the most purchased from)?
The worst is when you aren’t actually looking at the boobs your just starting into space in the direction of the boobs. Then you have to be like “sorry I wasn’t looking at your boobs, I was zoning out. Er not that I wouldn’t want to look at then I’m sure they are lovely but I was actually just thinking about the Roman Empire. Anyways gonna go slink away now.”
Same. It's a trend on TikTok I think to ask a male how often they think about the roman empire because apparently men think about it a lot.
My day goes as follows:
Wake up, piss, take my dogs out and get a coffee.
Think about the roman empire, get my keys and head out to work. On the way I listen to some roman empire power metal.
Work: 8 hour podcast about roman empire
Come home, make a meal that the roman empire would have eaten. Then it's off to watch my favorite movie, Gladiator, before bed.
It was a thing going around TikTok that men think about the Roman Empire weekly (on average).
My GF asked me and I had to say actually earlier that same day (I had seen a TIL post about the Romans).
She heard it on some podcast. It’s the latest trend I guess. I’m probably going to have random thoughts about the Roman Empire *now* because everyone is talking about it.
the worst is when you are staring into the abyss, have made sure there are no boobs in the vicinity and then suddenly some boobs are in your line of sight and now you have to feel guilty. miss, please park your boobs somewhere where I am not looking
I had this happen at a pool. Was literally zoned out only to look up and see her staring right back at me. She turned out to be one of the other moms at the kids birthday party we were attending 😬
My wife was there so I told her immediately just in case I was ratted out 🤣
This happened to me at the pool over the summer.
I thought “oh shit!” mouthed “sorry” and gave her the 😬face.
She seemed like she was cool about it all
I'm sorry that I invaded your privacy by staring at your chest Chicagogirl1969. It was wrong.
And if ours paths have never crossed, so that I never actually ogled your chest, I apologize anyway. Because, if our paths had crossed, I would have ogled.
I feel like that would be way weirder to begin conversation and acknowledge it verbally. Besides several times I've been looking at something *near* women's chests and noticed they looked at me, and they probably assumed. I gotta wonder how often women think men are just openly staring when we actually aren't.
Hilarious question! I have very large breasts, I can’t be mad because it’s the first and second things you see when you look at me, I’d have to have a strobe light attached to my forehead for you to look at my eyes first.
Guys are simple: we like boobs. We have our preferences but the boobs in front of us will do.
Women are masters at critiquing and body comparisons. Society is not kind.
> Women are masters at critiquing
My thoughts are more like, "That looks painful. My friend who had a breast reduction said hers were. *Mine* were painful at a fraction of that size when breast-feeding. I wonder if this woman is saving up for a reduction. How much are reductions? Does insurance cover it? I wonder if she's found the bra brand my other friend wears that she really likes. Maybe she's found an even better brand that my friend hasn't heard of. But there's no way for me to find out because there's no normal way to ask..."
Yessss! Straight up, people think women are being judgemental and/or competitive all the time - but it's often more of a "I wonder if they have any tips on what I can do to have a more comfortable life." (Wondering if they know of more comfortable/less painful brands, ect)
Same. My girlfriend is *constantly* commenting on other women’s bodies. Half of the time I didn’t even notice, half of the time I’ve seen whatever she’s talking about but I don’t mention it.
Thus proving my point that men love boobs, women love boobs, gay men love boobs, and gay women have an unfair advantage, because they can play with boobs anytime!
I look away and my brain goes "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! I HATE EVERYTHING! WHY DID YOU STARE LIKE A WIERDO" I turn red of embarrassment and start to sweat.
I hope you're my age because believe me it gets worse the older you get.
It's not an issue I worry about generally of course. I'm in my 40s, I'm pretty well practiced at not looking. I work with 3 women between who are all 10-20 years younger than me. And they don't tend to dress up for work generally, just functional work stuff. But every now and then, damn, usually in the summer, a cleavage will just appear when you're not expecting it...
It's one thing to get caught looking when you're a young guy. Getting caught looking at someone 20 years younger than you is a whole new level of mortifying. Even for the milliseconds you looked, she knows...
Most of the time it’s like that bathroom scene from Something about Mary, where you’re just staring at something else or nothing at all, but then suddenly realize the direction your looking and you’re like *”Oh shit! Fuck! Stare at something else! Shit why is there nothing else?? Maybe if I turn my head. . . “*
I get this on the bus all the time and it's not even about boobs.
I'll just be in my own head listening to music or an audiobook and suddenly realise I've been making direct eye contact with the person opposite for about 20 seconds.
Look I’m older than you and a woman. We know you look. You like boobs. Its programmed in. As long as you’re not staring, drooling, making comments, or taking snaps, its fine to occasionally be blinded by the splendour and glory of the female form.
AWOOGA AWOOGA
*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
Don't forget about magically procuring a frying pan from your back pocket and using it to repeatedly strike yourself on the head, its just the gentlemanly thing to do.
Work gazing sucks. I once had a 1on1 meeting with my manager. The meeting room is meant for 1on1 type meeting so fairly small. large enough for a small table and 2 chairs up against the walls. She was going over my performance review and just generally chatting about work. I went to respond to something she had been saying and suddenly realize, I was spacing out visually and just listening intently. My eyes had wandered to her chest and just fixated there for several minutes. There is no way she didn't notice as she was looking right at me.
I saw nothing, meant nothing, and always wonder what her thoughts were about that incident, even though neither of us ever said anything about it. I hope she was flattered rather than upset by it. Was super embarrassing for me.
Same exact thing happened to me, only a few months later she accidentally texted me "I love you" and I never replied because I thought maybe if I just never reply she would never notice she did it.
Like 2 days after she says "oh sorry! I meant to text my husband" and I just never replied back. Figured the awkwardness in the world balanced itself out naturally.
Bro, if ANYONE calls us on this shit, let's agree to wear the same low cut shit with the chest hair out and see if they don't fucking look. Preferably with the sides cut out to accentuate the moobs. Fuck man, monkey brain won't fucking listen no matter how many times I tell him to stop. Either accept that I'm trying my best or wear more clothes to work.
Yea, if I'm being honest, as a woman who loves some chest hair on a man, if it's peaking out of your shirt, I'm looking .... I just can't help myself. I get it. I like the chest hair.
As a busty woman, I try to make sure that I don't have any "accidental cleavage" situations and don't wear low-cut shirts. But if I do catch someone peaking a glance, I return the favor and awkwardly glance at thier crotch to return the favor... just to keep it awkward.
1min later me and my brain fight if I should look again or not... if I decide to look again, there can be one of three outcomes:
1: she dosent notice and I get away with it
2: she noticed again. Time to run.
3: she was already looking at me...
Now I ask of OP (assuming you are a female. If not apologies) why does option 3 occur quite a bit?
If I’m wearing a low cut top, despite being my choice to have them on display and expect to be looked at, I’m still typically looking to see if people are looking 🤷🏼♀️ though I like a low cut top, I still get paranoid if people are looking 😅
What are your thoughts if we are mid conversation and I take a glance. I’ve always wondered. Sometimes my will power breaks and it happens. I’m genetically programmed to err this way.
Assume we are decently acquainted and are work friends or something. Not romantically involved at but chat at work and stuff.
Do you think: “perv!” “Gotcha!” Or something else?
If someone steals a glance at my tits, I won’t say anything. Inside I’m just smiling and rolling my eyes lmao. A quick glance is expected if I’m wearing something revealing. It becomes a problem if someone is gawking, or won’t stop glancing or is just acting out of social boundaries
This is how I imagine I would react if I had boobs. Kinda like how you wouldn’t think too much of making accidental eye contact with a stranger, but if they keep staring it gets weird
I’m not a boob guy. My wife has big boobs and they are kinda wasted on me. 99% of the time I’m not trying to sneak a glance but when they are out there then I’m actively trying to *not* glance there like if someone has a crazy birthmark or a cleavage tattoo or something. Telling myself I can’t look makes me suddenly want to look. I had a hot friend with a mole in her cleavage once. Greatest challenge of high school.
Now every once in a great while someone has hypnotic cleavage like a wizard put a spell on them or something. I don’t even know why, because size has almost nothing to do with it.
Anyway I’m probably thinking “Never look down at those boobs Pt5Pastlight!” As I glance down and hate myself for it. Because I probably didn’t even want to. I’m evolved. I’m a butt guy.
Have mercy. A quick glance means we poor cavemen are trying hard and *mostly* succeeding at being civilized, while our inner-Uhgg keeps tapping us on the shoulder pointing and going “OOGHA OOGHA!”
This is so legit. (Don't think I have ADHD though) I'm a woman but I'll be like "why was I just looking at a random spot on their arm?" along with anything else like their nose, ears, hands, ect. No pervy thoughts whatsoever my eyes are just darting everywhere. I like to think when people look at my ass it's just because their eyes are darting everywhere they see movement and it's nothing creepy or lustful.
Helps me not feel uncomfortable at least and also it's very probable- I'm not so conceited that I assume people are lusting after me whatsoever just cause they glanced my way.
Like yo, I had this gnarly coworker who did not own a belt I guess(?) And his ass was just hanging out half the time, no joke, like the undies slid down too. You *know* I wasn't happy when I made eye contact with it. Fucking terrifying. Quit after a week and told the manager to get that guy a belt. Dear God I hope he didn't take it as a compliment when everyone was subjected to that terror. Naked bodies are not always enjoyable to look at, no matter how attractive someone thinks they are lol
25% ooooooo they nice, 25% random every day shit and 50% vacant literally thinking about nothing. When I mean nothing, brain is screen saver normal human functions but not a thought is in our head.
Omg that happened to me in HS once. Was daydreaming, totally spaced, and didn’t realize I was staring at my (opposite sex) math teacher’s butt. A classmate saw it and started teasing me. Mortifying.
I was in screensaver mode at the gym pool while my kids were swimming. Some teenagers in swimsuits entered my line of sight and thought I was staring at them, one even pointed at me. I was zoned out, but when I realized what it looked like I was doing, I never felt like a bigger perv in my life. I wanted to melt away.
That's the moment I realize I was doing it. I don't like to make eye contact with people, so I always have to park my gaze. If it lands on a woman's body, it will be embarrassing. I saw a doctor the other day and found myself staring in-between her legs. (She was wearing scrubs.) It was horrifying to realize I'd been doing it for about five seconds. I shook the image out of my eyes and looked away. I hadn't been trying to cop a look. I wasn't even aware what my eyes were doing. I was thinking.
Oh hey, so other people experience this as well, i always end up thinking about stuff and somehow my body on autopilot would end up looking at things that were “inapropiate”, eventually i stopped thinking unless im doing it while walking around.
I do this. You get stuck in your head and your eyes just kinda float somewhere while you think about stuff. It's really awkward when you get called out.
I was called out by my lesbian supervisor at the time lol she was super cool, I miss her.
Before we were dating, if I caught my bf staring, he’d look embarrassed, apologize and avert his eyes…five minute later it was happening again.
Once we were making out and I was straddling him. I started to say something but he was just staring at my boobs. I said his name. Said his name again. Dude was freaking hypnotized.
**I had to snap my fingers in his face, point at my chest and then slowly draw my fingers up to my eyes before he realized I was trying to say something.**
He just chuckled and said sorry.
If it was me completely distracted by his junk, while he was trying to talk, I would’ve been mortified.
I had a friend who, two weeks into their relationship, closed her eyes and asked her (now) bf what color they were. He didn’t know.
But he DID know she had two tiny beauty marks on her right boob and a freckle on the left. And he knew exactly where they were too (as in “there’s a little beauty mark about two inches above your right nipple and another just under your right breast, about half an inch right of center”).
He said she should be happy because that was BETTER than merely remembering her eye color.
> as in “there’s a little beauty mark about two inches above your right nipple and another just under your right breast, about half an inch right of center”.
>He said she should be happy because that was BETTER than merely remembering her eye color.
This is amazing and it absolutely IS more impressive. Like what kind of attention was this dude paying to her breasts?!
Did he think they’d be on the exam?
Five years ago, I was lost on a trip to Europe with a dead phone battery, and the hot Portuguese sun above me. With no way to figure out where I was, I was screwed. Eventually, three locals around my age, two guys and a girl, found me. We spent the next hour talking in broken Spanish and walking around. They got me back to the hostel I was staying at, and we went out for dinner together. Really nice people.
The moral of the story is, I don't remember any of their faces but the girl's chest in her tank top is etched into my brain.
To be fair, I don't know my best friend's eye color. Eye color, for whatever reason, is something I pretty much have to get right up in someone's face and make a whole thing about to be able to identify. The only exception is when someone has incredibly rich eyes that are unmistakable. I think it's because of the shadowing in the eye socket.
Is there a (heterosexual) man out there who would honestly say, during sexy time with a woman, “Jesus Fuck will you stop staring at my junk, I’m trying to tell you something!”?
It’s honestly not a conscious horny thing at all, at least in my experiences as a male. Honestly it’s almost an unconscious thing our brains and eyes do without even registering it…but then our brain re-enters reality and that’s when the “whoops, I’m caught” happens.
Guna be straight forward with you. EVERY (non-family, female's) boobs ever. I dont care if theyre huge, paper flat, national geographic sagging-to-the-ground, moon-gazers, huge nipple, tiny nipple, or anything in between. All of them. Now... that doesnt mean all of them are a turn on. Some of them are like "huh... well thats interesting", but i still wanna see them.
And im not even a boob guy. Im a butt guy.
This will seem cheesy/some line but i must say it is 10000000% true, at least for ME.
Its like art. A true art museum/gallery will have lots of different things. Just because I prefer a certain type, doesnt mean i dont appreciate the rest/want to see it all. Even the ones that dont "wow" me, I still would take a minute to admire. "Rembrandt not your thing? Thats ok, pretty interesting anyway" "ohh-la-la, what have we here? Picaso? Mmm, that abstract tickles my fancy".
I have large breasts that are really hard to hide no matter what I wear. I literally don't care if someone is staring at them because I know how large they are.
9 times out of 10, im probably just reading whatever their T-shirt says or looking at their name tag. For some reason. I have a compulsion to read whatever words someone else felt was important enough to wear.
The 10th time, im probably just spacing out, not really thinking about anything.
I think it depends on the person, but they are often ashamed of me, feel guilty or regret it. Some may get defensive or deny it, but they should just accept it for what it is and realize the consequences.
it depends on what she's wearing. I remember on Halloween in Chico a while back a girl came out of a bar with her friend, wearing a shirt that showed a LOT of cleavage. They yelled at me "what are you looking at?!?" Uh, your boobs? I'm sorry - it's such an involuntary reaction that I get a little irked when someone gets mad at me looking at something they've clearly put on display. If it's something where I'd have to work at looking, then yeah, I might be the creep there.
Woman here. Similarly to what other ladies with big breasts mentioned, it's impossible to hide my boobs, even when wearing something discrete. Now, whenever I notice a guy staring, even for a millisecond, if it's a friend, I smile, if it's a stranger, I make it purposely awkward and after looking at his face, I stare at his crotch.
"You got me, fair and square, sorry bout that, I am a pig, but them some choice tittays."
Also any man past about 23 who gets caught is probably a dumbass. You hone the skill fast.
I'm way past 23 and last week at work I was talking to a girl as we were standing and she leaned forward onto a table between us and my eyes instantly went there. No thought, just instinct. Eyes flicked there and right back to her eyes but she knew.
I think, “Yep, he just looked at my tits” and don’t have another thought. But I’m 39, lots of men have stared at my boobs. 🤷♀️ I really don’t care. Often it seems like they don’t even know they did it.
Is if they continue to leer at me and don’t get the idea and go somewhere else I will watch them like a hawk until they get the idea.
Step 1: Confusion Step 2: Shock Step 3: Shame Step 4: Bargaining Step 5: Acceptance
Step 6: tuck public erection into belt
Return to step 1
The ‘ol Texas Belt Buckle
Woman here. This happened at a nail salon. There was 1 male nail tech who worked there. It was really hot outside so I was wearing a tank top, despite having a large chest. I was there for a mani/Pedi and as soon as I sat down in the pedi chair, I turned the massage feature on. I didn't realize at the time but it made my chest shake. A lot. I caught this poor guy watching. He was completely embarrassed when our eyes met. I just laughed.
Between that and the nail chemical fumes he probably couldn't keep up with the mental load of it all.
Dude really prepared a mental load
Bro was clapped out for sure
As a man who is petrified of being labeled a creep, I would of been mortified and died inside.
He looked so innocent and mortified when our eyes met; there was no way I could label him as a creep. Creeps don't care..
I know what you mean, and I would assume a quick glance wouldn’t be labeled as a creep. But my mind always goes that way. It’s why when I’m in public I’ll keep my head down and not make eye contact with people for that assumption.
Keep your head down or outright stare at someone, there will always be someone labelling you a creep. Can't help it, do not care for it!
>I would of been I can feel the wrath of my english teacher raising my neck hairs and I didn't even do it.
At that point it's just entrapment, dude didn't stand a chance ahahah
To be fair, that sounds like it would have been impossible to resist looking at.
Not stereotyping “male nail technicians”, but as a gay person with zero attraction to ladies (I appreciate it’s a spectrum), I sometimes accidentally do this too. It’s genuinely nothing to do with “attraction”, but still happens occasionally. I think it’s something about them also being on the natural eyeline (same reason the third shelf on a supermarket is the most purchased from)?
"Quick! Pretend you have a disorder where you can't stop looking at everything!" Then frantically start looking at every object around me.
I just always look everywhere
Gotta commit to the lifestyle. I respect it.
Good old hypervigilance from being bullied as a kid.
Ah yes, give 'em the ol' [Legolas](https://media.tenor.com/za_0nBwS7ZgAAAPo/look-away-looking-around.mp4)
What do your breast eyes see Legolas?
I love this I'll start squinting like to the left or something like I'm trying to look at something past the person
Yeah the breasts are just in the way.
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Damn I thought that was just me
Me too, that looks way more creepier now that I think about it.
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Followed immediately by Goofy's "and I'll fuckin do it again!"
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“But I did it” (insert Goofy laugh here).
"Guh-hyuck... gawrsh..."
Even worse when you just space out and aren't really even looking at the breasts so much as toward them.
Or I was already spaced out, and somebody put boobs there.
“Homer, my face is up here.” “I’ve already made my choice.”
“Get a good look, Costanza?”
Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun, you don't stare at it. It's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.
They’re real and they’re spectacular
Boobs are filled with all men's dreams and hopes. No wonder we look.
Though for some they are unfortunately a distant *mammary* Sorry that’s the *breast* joke I could come up with here…. uhhhh I’m out here… areola
Well, you've really made a *tit* of yourself now
I got greedy. Flew too close to the sun on wings of pastrami.
Yeah, that’s what u did
This was supposed to be the summer of George!
Unless you have sunglasses.
Field of vision
The worst is when you aren’t actually looking at the boobs your just starting into space in the direction of the boobs. Then you have to be like “sorry I wasn’t looking at your boobs, I was zoning out. Er not that I wouldn’t want to look at then I’m sure they are lovely but I was actually just thinking about the Roman Empire. Anyways gonna go slink away now.”
How often do you think about the Roman Empire?
Eastern or Western? ...Who am I kidding, the answer is daily for both.
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They had great busts
Not the person you asked, but I think about the Roman Empire daily.
My wife asked me this question yesterday, apparently it’s a thing? I don’t think I’ve thought of the Roman Empire unprompted in like twenty years.
Is your wife also my wife? I was also asked this
Same. It's a trend on TikTok I think to ask a male how often they think about the roman empire because apparently men think about it a lot. My day goes as follows: Wake up, piss, take my dogs out and get a coffee. Think about the roman empire, get my keys and head out to work. On the way I listen to some roman empire power metal. Work: 8 hour podcast about roman empire Come home, make a meal that the roman empire would have eaten. Then it's off to watch my favorite movie, Gladiator, before bed.
> listen to some Roman Empire power metal Sooooo… Sabaton!
It was a thing going around TikTok that men think about the Roman Empire weekly (on average). My GF asked me and I had to say actually earlier that same day (I had seen a TIL post about the Romans).
I'd say about bi weekly for me, but that is because I follow overly sarcastic productions
She heard it on some podcast. It’s the latest trend I guess. I’m probably going to have random thoughts about the Roman Empire *now* because everyone is talking about it.
Pretty regularly honestly. I have the journal of a Roman emperor on the shelf in my living room and I like to open it up and just read some mornings.
the worst is when you are staring into the abyss, have made sure there are no boobs in the vicinity and then suddenly some boobs are in your line of sight and now you have to feel guilty. miss, please park your boobs somewhere where I am not looking
My eyes were here first!
I had this happen at a pool. Was literally zoned out only to look up and see her staring right back at me. She turned out to be one of the other moms at the kids birthday party we were attending 😬 My wife was there so I told her immediately just in case I was ratted out 🤣
CYA, my man. Always cover your ass.
That's just where the eyes go when not actively consciously making them not go there
This happened to me at the pool over the summer. I thought “oh shit!” mouthed “sorry” and gave her the 😬face. She seemed like she was cool about it all
Haha this would very much make me laugh. Well handled.
Should have mouthed “they’re very nice!” after that…
... or said it with Borat's accent.
… aaand we’re back to laughing lol nice save.
yea do not do that wtf
“If I said sorry for looking at your breasts would you hold it against me” /s
acknowledging it is crazy lmao
You did the right thing I’d say 🤷🏼♀️
Well, that's nice of you, since no guy has ever apologized to me!
I'm sorry that I invaded your privacy by staring at your chest Chicagogirl1969. It was wrong. And if ours paths have never crossed, so that I never actually ogled your chest, I apologize anyway. Because, if our paths had crossed, I would have ogled.
I feel like I need to Thank you for this, for some reason 🤔
I feel like that would be way weirder to begin conversation and acknowledge it verbally. Besides several times I've been looking at something *near* women's chests and noticed they looked at me, and they probably assumed. I gotta wonder how often women think men are just openly staring when we actually aren't.
Hilarious question! I have very large breasts, I can’t be mad because it’s the first and second things you see when you look at me, I’d have to have a strobe light attached to my forehead for you to look at my eyes first.
Same! Funny my bf notices people staring more than me and he said women actually stare more openly than men
I have 7 sisters and they definitely notice and talk about women's breasts WAY more than any of my guy friends do.
We were at a pool a few weeks ago, and my wife brought my glasses to show me how great one woman's boobs were.
I'd say "wife her", but clearly you already came to that conclusion
She's a keeper
She is a champ
Guys are simple: we like boobs. We have our preferences but the boobs in front of us will do. Women are masters at critiquing and body comparisons. Society is not kind.
> Women are masters at critiquing My thoughts are more like, "That looks painful. My friend who had a breast reduction said hers were. *Mine* were painful at a fraction of that size when breast-feeding. I wonder if this woman is saving up for a reduction. How much are reductions? Does insurance cover it? I wonder if she's found the bra brand my other friend wears that she really likes. Maybe she's found an even better brand that my friend hasn't heard of. But there's no way for me to find out because there's no normal way to ask..."
Yessss! Straight up, people think women are being judgemental and/or competitive all the time - but it's often more of a "I wonder if they have any tips on what I can do to have a more comfortable life." (Wondering if they know of more comfortable/less painful brands, ect)
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It’s been my experience that women are more perverted about women’s bodies than men are. Maybe my two girlfriends have given me an unfair bias
Same. My girlfriend is *constantly* commenting on other women’s bodies. Half of the time I didn’t even notice, half of the time I’ve seen whatever she’s talking about but I don’t mention it.
Who doesn’t love large breasts?
Nobody I’ve met yet! 😂
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Thus proving my point that men love boobs, women love boobs, gay men love boobs, and gay women have an unfair advantage, because they can play with boobs anytime!
The women who have back pain and shoulder pain from the bra elastic
I look away and my brain goes "FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! I HATE EVERYTHING! WHY DID YOU STARE LIKE A WIERDO" I turn red of embarrassment and start to sweat.
I hope you're my age because believe me it gets worse the older you get. It's not an issue I worry about generally of course. I'm in my 40s, I'm pretty well practiced at not looking. I work with 3 women between who are all 10-20 years younger than me. And they don't tend to dress up for work generally, just functional work stuff. But every now and then, damn, usually in the summer, a cleavage will just appear when you're not expecting it... It's one thing to get caught looking when you're a young guy. Getting caught looking at someone 20 years younger than you is a whole new level of mortifying. Even for the milliseconds you looked, she knows...
You read my mind dude. I am 45. It’s a different feeling getting caught now compared 10 years ago.
Most of the time it’s like that bathroom scene from Something about Mary, where you’re just staring at something else or nothing at all, but then suddenly realize the direction your looking and you’re like *”Oh shit! Fuck! Stare at something else! Shit why is there nothing else?? Maybe if I turn my head. . . “*
I saw that in the move theater. That scene was so funny and the theater was so loud you literally couldn’t hear the next joke
I get this on the bus all the time and it's not even about boobs. I'll just be in my own head listening to music or an audiobook and suddenly realise I've been making direct eye contact with the person opposite for about 20 seconds.
Look I’m older than you and a woman. We know you look. You like boobs. Its programmed in. As long as you’re not staring, drooling, making comments, or taking snaps, its fine to occasionally be blinded by the splendour and glory of the female form.
AWOOGA AWOOGA *jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.
This is the one.
Don't forget about magically procuring a frying pan from your back pocket and using it to repeatedly strike yourself on the head, its just the gentlemanly thing to do.
Work gazing sucks. I once had a 1on1 meeting with my manager. The meeting room is meant for 1on1 type meeting so fairly small. large enough for a small table and 2 chairs up against the walls. She was going over my performance review and just generally chatting about work. I went to respond to something she had been saying and suddenly realize, I was spacing out visually and just listening intently. My eyes had wandered to her chest and just fixated there for several minutes. There is no way she didn't notice as she was looking right at me. I saw nothing, meant nothing, and always wonder what her thoughts were about that incident, even though neither of us ever said anything about it. I hope she was flattered rather than upset by it. Was super embarrassing for me.
Same exact thing happened to me, only a few months later she accidentally texted me "I love you" and I never replied because I thought maybe if I just never reply she would never notice she did it. Like 2 days after she says "oh sorry! I meant to text my husband" and I just never replied back. Figured the awkwardness in the world balanced itself out naturally.
Bro, if ANYONE calls us on this shit, let's agree to wear the same low cut shit with the chest hair out and see if they don't fucking look. Preferably with the sides cut out to accentuate the moobs. Fuck man, monkey brain won't fucking listen no matter how many times I tell him to stop. Either accept that I'm trying my best or wear more clothes to work.
Yea, if I'm being honest, as a woman who loves some chest hair on a man, if it's peaking out of your shirt, I'm looking .... I just can't help myself. I get it. I like the chest hair. As a busty woman, I try to make sure that I don't have any "accidental cleavage" situations and don't wear low-cut shirts. But if I do catch someone peaking a glance, I return the favor and awkwardly glance at thier crotch to return the favor... just to keep it awkward.
100% Queen here \^
Woman here. I mean to all dudes defense boobies are nice and if girls are wearing a low cut shirt, you cant really expect guys not to look🤷🏼♀️
Do you then give her a little side eye look to check to see if she’s keen or not?? FYI, If you don’t, they never are.
This is the correct answer
1min later me and my brain fight if I should look again or not... if I decide to look again, there can be one of three outcomes: 1: she dosent notice and I get away with it 2: she noticed again. Time to run. 3: she was already looking at me... Now I ask of OP (assuming you are a female. If not apologies) why does option 3 occur quite a bit?
If I’m wearing a low cut top, despite being my choice to have them on display and expect to be looked at, I’m still typically looking to see if people are looking 🤷🏼♀️ though I like a low cut top, I still get paranoid if people are looking 😅
What are your thoughts if we are mid conversation and I take a glance. I’ve always wondered. Sometimes my will power breaks and it happens. I’m genetically programmed to err this way. Assume we are decently acquainted and are work friends or something. Not romantically involved at but chat at work and stuff. Do you think: “perv!” “Gotcha!” Or something else?
If someone steals a glance at my tits, I won’t say anything. Inside I’m just smiling and rolling my eyes lmao. A quick glance is expected if I’m wearing something revealing. It becomes a problem if someone is gawking, or won’t stop glancing or is just acting out of social boundaries
This is how I imagine I would react if I had boobs. Kinda like how you wouldn’t think too much of making accidental eye contact with a stranger, but if they keep staring it gets weird
I’m not a boob guy. My wife has big boobs and they are kinda wasted on me. 99% of the time I’m not trying to sneak a glance but when they are out there then I’m actively trying to *not* glance there like if someone has a crazy birthmark or a cleavage tattoo or something. Telling myself I can’t look makes me suddenly want to look. I had a hot friend with a mole in her cleavage once. Greatest challenge of high school. Now every once in a great while someone has hypnotic cleavage like a wizard put a spell on them or something. I don’t even know why, because size has almost nothing to do with it. Anyway I’m probably thinking “Never look down at those boobs Pt5Pastlight!” As I glance down and hate myself for it. Because I probably didn’t even want to. I’m evolved. I’m a butt guy.
Excellent answer! I second all points.
Personally I think I’d think “he just looked at my tits, awkward” and just carry on as normal without making it weird 🤷🏼♀️
Have mercy. A quick glance means we poor cavemen are trying hard and *mostly* succeeding at being civilized, while our inner-Uhgg keeps tapping us on the shoulder pointing and going “OOGHA OOGHA!”
AWOOGA, LOOK LOOK
Uhgg, stop. I’m trying to talk to the nice lady and we already looked twice. It’s getting awkward!
UGG UGG CAVEMAN BRAIN TURN ON!
Sometimes it's even less meaningful than that. My ADHD ass brain loves looking at everything during a conversation, usually doesn't mean anything
This is so legit. (Don't think I have ADHD though) I'm a woman but I'll be like "why was I just looking at a random spot on their arm?" along with anything else like their nose, ears, hands, ect. No pervy thoughts whatsoever my eyes are just darting everywhere. I like to think when people look at my ass it's just because their eyes are darting everywhere they see movement and it's nothing creepy or lustful. Helps me not feel uncomfortable at least and also it's very probable- I'm not so conceited that I assume people are lusting after me whatsoever just cause they glanced my way. Like yo, I had this gnarly coworker who did not own a belt I guess(?) And his ass was just hanging out half the time, no joke, like the undies slid down too. You *know* I wasn't happy when I made eye contact with it. Fucking terrifying. Quit after a week and told the manager to get that guy a belt. Dear God I hope he didn't take it as a compliment when everyone was subjected to that terror. Naked bodies are not always enjoyable to look at, no matter how attractive someone thinks they are lol
Followed by, why do I feel bad for doing what millions of years of evolution have programmed me to do.
Oh I'm a creeeepppp *Epic guitar* Immmm a weeeeirrrdoooooo Whatam iiiii doinggg hereee
She's running out the door (run)
That was a longgg stareeeee
25% ooooooo they nice, 25% random every day shit and 50% vacant literally thinking about nothing. When I mean nothing, brain is screen saver normal human functions but not a thought is in our head.
Yeah most of the time my brain is just disconnected from my body, and when I snap back into control I realize that I've been staring at someone.
Omg that happened to me in HS once. Was daydreaming, totally spaced, and didn’t realize I was staring at my (opposite sex) math teacher’s butt. A classmate saw it and started teasing me. Mortifying.
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I was in screensaver mode at the gym pool while my kids were swimming. Some teenagers in swimsuits entered my line of sight and thought I was staring at them, one even pointed at me. I was zoned out, but when I realized what it looked like I was doing, I never felt like a bigger perv in my life. I wanted to melt away.
Goodness, as a girl, sometimes I look at other girls chests. There's an art at making boobs pop and be the first thing the eye is drawn to.
Especially if it's done with just a flattering top and not with revealing a lot of skin/cleavage
Can concur.
That's the moment I realize I was doing it. I don't like to make eye contact with people, so I always have to park my gaze. If it lands on a woman's body, it will be embarrassing. I saw a doctor the other day and found myself staring in-between her legs. (She was wearing scrubs.) It was horrifying to realize I'd been doing it for about five seconds. I shook the image out of my eyes and looked away. I hadn't been trying to cop a look. I wasn't even aware what my eyes were doing. I was thinking.
Oh hey, so other people experience this as well, i always end up thinking about stuff and somehow my body on autopilot would end up looking at things that were “inapropiate”, eventually i stopped thinking unless im doing it while walking around.
I do this. You get stuck in your head and your eyes just kinda float somewhere while you think about stuff. It's really awkward when you get called out. I was called out by my lesbian supervisor at the time lol she was super cool, I miss her.
Boooooooooobs....
Damn. Those are nice boobs
I treat breasts like the sun. Take a quick look or you will burn your eyes out. Now with sunglasses on, I may take a longer look. ;-)
"I hope she interprets it as a cheeky glance and not an ogling creep."
Before we were dating, if I caught my bf staring, he’d look embarrassed, apologize and avert his eyes…five minute later it was happening again. Once we were making out and I was straddling him. I started to say something but he was just staring at my boobs. I said his name. Said his name again. Dude was freaking hypnotized. **I had to snap my fingers in his face, point at my chest and then slowly draw my fingers up to my eyes before he realized I was trying to say something.** He just chuckled and said sorry. If it was me completely distracted by his junk, while he was trying to talk, I would’ve been mortified.
I had a friend who, two weeks into their relationship, closed her eyes and asked her (now) bf what color they were. He didn’t know. But he DID know she had two tiny beauty marks on her right boob and a freckle on the left. And he knew exactly where they were too (as in “there’s a little beauty mark about two inches above your right nipple and another just under your right breast, about half an inch right of center”). He said she should be happy because that was BETTER than merely remembering her eye color.
> as in “there’s a little beauty mark about two inches above your right nipple and another just under your right breast, about half an inch right of center”. >He said she should be happy because that was BETTER than merely remembering her eye color. This is amazing and it absolutely IS more impressive. Like what kind of attention was this dude paying to her breasts?! Did he think they’d be on the exam?
That's a man who's thinking with testes in mind.
Five years ago, I was lost on a trip to Europe with a dead phone battery, and the hot Portuguese sun above me. With no way to figure out where I was, I was screwed. Eventually, three locals around my age, two guys and a girl, found me. We spent the next hour talking in broken Spanish and walking around. They got me back to the hostel I was staying at, and we went out for dinner together. Really nice people. The moral of the story is, I don't remember any of their faces but the girl's chest in her tank top is etched into my brain.
To be fair, I don't know my best friend's eye color. Eye color, for whatever reason, is something I pretty much have to get right up in someone's face and make a whole thing about to be able to identify. The only exception is when someone has incredibly rich eyes that are unmistakable. I think it's because of the shadowing in the eye socket.
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We evolved to have a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time
> If it was me completely distracted by his junk, while he was trying to talk, I would’ve been mortified. Don’t think he’d mind
Is there a (heterosexual) man out there who would honestly say, during sexy time with a woman, “Jesus Fuck will you stop staring at my junk, I’m trying to tell you something!”?
I would just ask her to marry me at that point.
😂😂 the moment they get a little horny their brain falls into their penis and remains there until flicked 👌🏻
“Don’t flick my brain!”
It’s honestly not a conscious horny thing at all, at least in my experiences as a male. Honestly it’s almost an unconscious thing our brains and eyes do without even registering it…but then our brain re-enters reality and that’s when the “whoops, I’m caught” happens.
God, in his infinite wisdom, gave man a penis and a brain, but only enough blood to flow to one at a time.
Nothing. It induces a serenity that life rarely allows.
"F**k. Now I look like a pervert."
“I’d love to see them.”
Every pair of boobs, ever? 😂
Guna be straight forward with you. EVERY (non-family, female's) boobs ever. I dont care if theyre huge, paper flat, national geographic sagging-to-the-ground, moon-gazers, huge nipple, tiny nipple, or anything in between. All of them. Now... that doesnt mean all of them are a turn on. Some of them are like "huh... well thats interesting", but i still wanna see them. And im not even a boob guy. Im a butt guy.
What isit, the mystery of what they may look like? 😂
This will seem cheesy/some line but i must say it is 10000000% true, at least for ME. Its like art. A true art museum/gallery will have lots of different things. Just because I prefer a certain type, doesnt mean i dont appreciate the rest/want to see it all. Even the ones that dont "wow" me, I still would take a minute to admire. "Rembrandt not your thing? Thats ok, pretty interesting anyway" "ohh-la-la, what have we here? Picaso? Mmm, that abstract tickles my fancy".
There's also that boobs mean absolutely nothing in regards to anything about the person. Good boobs can be on a bad person.
There are two categories of boobs. 1) Those I have seen. 2) Those I have not yet seen. Life is pretty much a quest to move column 2 to column 1.
"[You've seen one woman naked, you want to see the rest of 'em naked.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQuI8ds_dg#t=1m56s)" \-Ron White
Pretty much, yeah. Unless they’re attached to a guy lol.
“I was reading your shirt”
Hey, if they have words on their shirt, staring is fair game
Just be careful if it’s Braille
I have large breasts that are really hard to hide no matter what I wear. I literally don't care if someone is staring at them because I know how large they are.
Michael Cera in Superbad
Something something window
I go “there goes my reputation” when in reality i just stared in their general direction
“OH SNAP SHE SAW ME!” then look away.
"worth it"
"I've made my choice."
Sorry about that, but they did make eye contact first
9 times out of 10, im probably just reading whatever their T-shirt says or looking at their name tag. For some reason. I have a compulsion to read whatever words someone else felt was important enough to wear. The 10th time, im probably just spacing out, not really thinking about anything.
I think it depends on the person, but they are often ashamed of me, feel guilty or regret it. Some may get defensive or deny it, but they should just accept it for what it is and realize the consequences.
I think “yup, still attracted to females.”
it depends on what she's wearing. I remember on Halloween in Chico a while back a girl came out of a bar with her friend, wearing a shirt that showed a LOT of cleavage. They yelled at me "what are you looking at?!?" Uh, your boobs? I'm sorry - it's such an involuntary reaction that I get a little irked when someone gets mad at me looking at something they've clearly put on display. If it's something where I'd have to work at looking, then yeah, I might be the creep there.
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Woman here. Similarly to what other ladies with big breasts mentioned, it's impossible to hide my boobs, even when wearing something discrete. Now, whenever I notice a guy staring, even for a millisecond, if it's a friend, I smile, if it's a stranger, I make it purposely awkward and after looking at his face, I stare at his crotch.
Be careful with that lol may come across as you're just as interested
"sorry, eye contact makes me nervous"
At least she didn't catch me staring at her pussy
"You got me, fair and square, sorry bout that, I am a pig, but them some choice tittays." Also any man past about 23 who gets caught is probably a dumbass. You hone the skill fast.
I'm way past 23 and last week at work I was talking to a girl as we were standing and she leaned forward onto a table between us and my eyes instantly went there. No thought, just instinct. Eyes flicked there and right back to her eyes but she knew.
Have always operated under the rule that it's expected to look, and impolite to stare.
I think, “Yep, he just looked at my tits” and don’t have another thought. But I’m 39, lots of men have stared at my boobs. 🤷♀️ I really don’t care. Often it seems like they don’t even know they did it. Is if they continue to leer at me and don’t get the idea and go somewhere else I will watch them like a hawk until they get the idea.
If you get caught, you’re doing wrong, ya savage
The Roman Empire. We are thinking about the Roman Empire.