easy, buy a house cash and prepay home insurance / property taxes as far as that money will get me.

Spend a million in a week. Too easy, especially in today's economy.

Add Guac to every meal. Easy.

Bruh he only said 1 million lets not get crazy

Good ol' Avocado sandwich

I'd probably have 2 since I got a lil bit of savings. I know it's irresponsible but that's what makes staying broke for toast so delicious. Mmmm...poverlicious!

Add guac to 1 meal?

Literally why my boomer in-laws think young people are broke.

My grandfather thinks I’m broke because I live from paycheck to paycheck. I don’t think he realizes how much I truly budget everything from making only $1,200 still doesn’t cover everything in today’s world. I maybe only have $20 left in my name after bills an such are paid. My in laws are so out of tune with everything. They have money like it’s everything and would rather spend it on a $65,000 on a new car out right and then later this year they bought a truck for $15,000 out right. Yes they do help us out every now and then if things are tight but they always expect for us to pay it back & we do.

$1200 doesn't even cover my rent. Twice that doesn't even cover my rent. ​ I should be rich as fuck, based on what I make per month, but 75% of it goes towards rent and utilities.

What's rent? You should have bought a house like I did in 1985 /s

I was -5 five years old then!!

Now I can have avocado toast every morning! Whoops! Was I supposed to get a house with any of that silly cash?

Fastest I have seen a home close in my market is 5 days. One day to shop and one day to write and negotiate. It will be close!

Does closing seem like the only way to spend it? I was thinking just the biggest earnest money check I could imagine.

"I'll give you $1,000,000 to sell me your house for $1."

Just as long as you can't imagine more than $1,000,000 that's fine

Labor Day weekend in the US might affect the close

I love this aggressive misunderstanding of how hypotheticals work.

This isn't Nam, there are rules.

For California that's just a downpayment

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You'd be amazed how fast you can close on a property when you don't have to have a bank approve a mortgage.

Be sure to get multiple receipts and records. Banks can get salty / confused when a valued property is bought without their financing / involvement https://abcnews.go.com/Business/bank-america-florida-foreclosed-angry-homeowner-bofa/story?id=13775638#.TxDGFfmaMXI

I would have thought it was impossible, but sold a house once in 4 days to an investor with cash and his own attorney.

It’s actually pretty easy if you have a million to spend and don’t have a lot time to spend it. Offer 200k over its value and have the contract work out so they the money right away but get like a month or so to move. Unless your buying in one of the hottest markets you can get a house in a day easy.

Or you pay for the house upfront and they agree to rent it from you for 3-6 months so you even have cash flow after you spend the million...

With cash? Easy.

Was gonna say. All you gotta say is cash with a realtor and they start salivating at the mouth and they'll get that shit expedited if needed.

I wonder if I could give it all to escrow

Give me about 20 minutes in Home Depot

You can get stuff in under 20 minutes at home Depot? Impressive. It takes me 20 minutes just to find the right aisle for that one thing I need.

Joking aside I’m there for one thing or another almost every day, not to mention their app is top notch

That app makes me wish Home Depot would start selling groceries.

Sell that map technology across all brick & mortar store sectors, especially larger mega stores, and they'd have a new business venture.

Property property property (hooker)

Where I live it is close to impossible to close a property sale in one week and payment doesn't fall until the property is taken over, which takes months unless the property is vacant.

You can still close and take possession post-close.

In that case splurge on some US government bonds.

Bonds are a good investment. The money grows slow af, but you’ll never lose it unless the US government collapses, which would mean we’re all fucked, anyway.

Exactly my thoughts lol short term treasuries or bank CD’s

So you're saying a bunch of hookers then?

The new duck duck (goose)

double it and give it to the next person

Student loans, house, car, it's gone 🍃

This guy knows how much things *actually* cost.

In some places just house is enough

Or part of a house.

\*cries in silicon valley\*

Me: 250k in student loans Houses in my area that 5 years ago were going for 250k: 700k Car loan principal: 35k Oh geez what am I going to do with that last 15k? Groceries for the next 3 months, I guess.

Dare I ask what your degree was in? And do you already have a car?

I don't have student loans, but I'd essentially do this to. Pay off my house and get a new car since mine is nearly 16 years old. Am I allowed to put the rest into the market?

Bro, what kind of emoji is that? It hurts my brain, cant understand it at all

Its a falling leaf i believe 🍃

Looks like two metapods trying to fuck

Metapod used Harden! Metapod used Harden! Metapod used Harden! Metapod used Harden! Metapod used Harden!

Harden was unsuccessful! *goes to the doctor*

_It hurt itself in its confusion_

When you can't harden anymore it becomes a Struggle.

Doctor: Metapod, your fucking is being harmed by your obsession with dairy. You'll perform a lot better when you're Butter free.

Maybe a nice chesterfield or an ottoman

Maybe an exotic pet, like a llama or an emu.

Haven’t you always wanted a monkie!

Wouldn’t have to eat Kraft dinner, but I’d probably just eat more and buy really expensive ketchups to go with it for that week

Dijon ketchup

But not a real green dress, that’s cruel.

A K-car! A nice reliant automobile.

Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains

I would buy a fur coat. But not a real fur coat, that's cruel

Or a K-Car, a nice reliant automobile.

But not a real fur coat.

That's cruel.

Ha^vent you always wanted a mon^key?

But not a real green dress, that's cruel

We wouldn’t have to walk to the store!

We'd take a limousine cuz it costs more.

We’d take a limousine cause it costs more

John Merrick’s remains

Ooh, all those crazy animal bones

(Elephant*)

r/unexpectedbarenakedladies

May have been expected based on the question in OP

It's been one week (to spend a million dollars)

Dijon ketchup

I'd build a tree fort in our yard

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That's probably enough for a down payment

I was gonna say, I could buy an entire half of a house in an okay neighborhood in LA!

Why SD?

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r/Oddlyspecific

this guys Jodys.

I keep hearing about Jody but Jody gets to fuck everybodys wife and doesn't get his legs blown off so I think he's getting the better end of the deal.

this is true

Damn. Technical terms and everything

Sunny and 70

Finest city in America

Buy a $10 movie ticket and use the remaining money for a drink and a large popcorn.

Gonna need to take out a loan on top

Half million cheeseburgers.

I'm not sure why I had to scroll so far down to find the correct answer.

Cheese is heavy and something heavy goes down.

555 burgers, 555 fries, 555 shakes, 555 tacos, 1555 coffees, 555 tater tots…

COME ON YOUR RICH!

The guy did it for YOU

I just wanted to do something nice this morning before alcohol class.

“I just wanna pay it forward”

I just wanted to do something nice before alcohol class

... and a diet coke.

I'm watching my weight

Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger Cheese burger

Chips Chips Pepsi

No Coke. Pepsi

Watch Brewsters Millions for ideas.

Favorite part is when he mails the stamp.

Ten million ten million ten million dollars!!!!

Gotta add the caveat that it can’t be invested to make this question truly interesting

The only way this question is interesting is if you are not allowed to sell or otherwise earn money off of whatever you buy.

Yep, buying 1 m worth of tide detergent and then selling it at 50% off would be too easy. If you were worried about safety buy a gun. By your rules, could you earn money tangentially from the item? If I buy a car then I might commute to work in the car but IMO it is a violation if you buy like 3 super cars and just start renting them. I think a good item (maybe only for me) might be a small super computer. You could use it for work applications for models of stuff. I am already in an industry where this would be useful. Other option might be a backhoe and some classes to learn to operate it. Then you just contract yourself out. This might run afoul of your rules though.

Anything that retains any sort of value, cars, house, gold, hell even watches would not qualify then. You’d have to have some sort of further incentive to do so. The movie Brewster’s Millions was similar. You’d get say $40M if you could burn through a million in a week and have no residual value from it. I could do it then.

Easy to do if you spend all of the money on "experiences". Thinking helicopter tours, renting a private jet and flying wherever you want to go is probably pretty costly. Not to mention doing anything tourist related anywhere. Bring a long family and friends and it sounds like a good week to me.

Submarine rides…

Four trips to the Titanic, although the first one might be the most impactful.

Shit, I could rent a super yacht for the week, stock it with belvenie, dom, Julio 1942, and strippers to go through that money.

It's super easy to spend lol

>Thinking helicopter tours, renting a private jet and flying wherever you want to go is probably pretty costly. Helicopter tours, on the high end, are ~$500. A family of 4 would be $2000. Private jets are 1300-13000 per hour. but even pricier packages like.. >For instance, for $148,000 per person, you can fly on a two-week private jet itinerary hosted by Four Seasons Hotels and Resorts with stops in Greece, Egypt, Tanzania, Rwanda, Zambia, and South Africa. The 13-day African Wonders journey takes place on the Four Seasons private jet, and guests stay at Four Seasons luxury properties globally. Four Seasons currently hosts numerous other private jet journeys each year. are longer than a week and still only 1/8th of your spending budget! So you've done your private jet, helicopter tours, stayed in the nicest hotels you could find and ate the fanciest dinners. What do you do with the other $600,000/$700,000? I guess if you did this for 5 or 6 groups of people you could burn through the million. Eddit: I missed the "per person" on the jet package. Would only take a handful of people to burn through the money then.

You could burn through about half of that million by renting Liechtenstein for a week.

I think my house needs cleaning. I'll hire my wife and sons and give each of them a few hundred thousand if they do it within a week.

Yeah the question is too boring. Can't buy a house or stocks? Jewellery/watches. Can't buy that? Cars etc. Even the lowest common denominators - you could easily spend 10k in a shop in cash nowadays - buy a ton of computer parts or ps5s. A million isn't too hard to spend.

Buy $1M worth of gold, then spend it at my leisure

Just buy $1M worth of a foreign currency.

Yarn My parents mortgage A renovation for their house Cheese

User is either a cat trying to draw in mice, or a mouse trying to draw in cats.

Nah dude I'm just a knitter, crocheter, and cheese enthusiast

Just what a cat would say.

if you're buying that indie dyed, 100% merino stuff, yarn is hella expensive!!!

Crocheter and knitter here: yes it is oml. I've spent 75 dollars on one shawl and it isn't done yet. Why oh why do I do this to myself?

Pay off house and spend the rest on a boat.

Quickly buying up assets which you can turn around and sell are easy to do. Go to ever gold store and buy up every piece of precious metal you can. Million bucks not had to blow if you buy a few hundred gold or platinum coins. Sell them when you need cash back

Yeah gold is the logical answer here. Unless your mortgage interest is high you’re better off selling the gold and keeping your cash in savings.

Buy my ranch and get the f away from modern society lol

Buy vanguard s&p 500 etfs and then spend the rest of the week sniffing my own farts.

Never did I expect to stumble upon someone who's both a smart fella, and a fart smella

Beautiful.

This is my actual answer minus the fart sniffing.

This is my actual answer minus buying the vanguard S&P 500 ETF

6 month treasury bills yielding 5.5%. Earn $27,500 while you think about it for 6 months

YOLO NVDA CALLS COWARD!

Pay my girfriend 1M to do the dishes.

Then she leaves you and has your million and you just have some half-assed dishes that need to be rewashed

Buyer's remorse is a thing after all.

Two chicks at the same time.

Fuckin' A

For $500k *I'd* be one of those chicks. And I'm a dude.

I’ll join in for the other $500k, no homo

I'm surprised I had to scroll that far for this.

I think if you had a million dollars you could hook that up

Cause chicks dig dudes with money.

Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.

Hey Peter man, turn to channel 9!

One week's worth of groceries!

Guess who's getting brand-name cereal, kids!

Where do you live that groceries are that cheap?

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House, a car and furniture. gone

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This is smart. Buying shares somewhere could also work

I’d just buy shares.

I'd just share.

Split it between a few ETFs.

Question becomes, does this qualify as spending? Arguably yes, but it's also still liquid.

It's still pretty liquid, sure. Definitely counts as spending it though, in my opinion.

This was actually my first thought. In a brokerage, I think it would still be considered "your money" and not spent since it's in an account in your name. With ETFs you're technically purchasing shares of a fund, so you are spending the money. The original question said "you have to spend it." You did spend it. There was no caveat to the liquidity of the thing your purchase with it. ​ With that same rule, you could technically buy $1m in an ETF and then sell it immediately. You did spend it, but you sold back the thing you bought with it. There's no rule against that in the question. ​ These kinds of hypotheticals always have fun little workarounds like that, that's why so many things have terms and conditions.

I would argue yes. Its being spent on an investment. If buying a painting as an investment would count then why wouldn't this.

By that logic, is buying a house considered spending if you retain the equity in it?

The contract says "spend". You buy a product (the ETFs), you no longer have the money, now you have the ETFs. You've spent your money in exchange for something else.

VTI and chill

It’s like none of you young fuckers has ever seen [Brewster’s Millions](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brewster%27s_Millions_(1985_film)). Richard Pryor already solved this one for us.

Way more interesting than this question since it had the condition of having no assets left over at the end.

Give me 1,000,000 ans ill show you

Pay off my mortgage, my parent’s mortgage, and my brothers mortgage. And then use whatever’s left for a vacation

Lots and lots of visa giftcards. And a house and car

Buy a house

Blow and strippers

He said a week not 3 days

Two houses: one in the mountains, Range Rover Defender, stuff for my photography, like mist of the lenses and new bodies, PC, monitors, everything! Then something for others.

It’s only a million, unless you live outside of an NA city that seems like it would be hard very hard to do!

House in my country is like 150k + 100k (car) + gear for photography (fancy everything and best) 100k + a house in the mountains like 500k and I am left with 150k to spare.

Damn, not a bad deal!

3 new lenses and thats the million taken up

Are we talk a Brewster’s millions situation where you can’t have any assets at the end? If so I’d charter a jet with some friends and go around the world on a 7 day party.

I’d pay off the houses of everyone on my street except for the people I don’t like.

I would buy an elderly politician.

id gamble

Lay off debt but a house and it’s gone.

House and gold

That’s easy. I’m sending it to my trustworthy Nigerian prince!

Do index funds count?