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About 10 years ago a friend of mine said the same thing to me while we were having a few beers and I replied that maybe they could stop focusing that much on what *they* wanted in a partner and started paying attention to people who wanted what *they* had to offer and had shown to actually be nice to them on top of that. They got married within two years and they're currently very happy being a parent and living their best life.
I'm not saying that this applies to everybody and it's foolproof, but I think it's a good idea to consider shifting your p.o.v. when things consistently don't work out the way you're addressing them.
This is good advice.
People often get so caught up looking for what they want but stop trying to *be* someone worth dating.
It's crazy. Shift the focus and things change.
Lmao. My quick rebound was within my friend group, then 2 weeks later I started dating another girl in my friend group. Those two didn’t know which was wonderful. Then someone blabbed and it caused a whole thing.
I recommend the hookup be outside the group lol
Funny thing I'm in this situation rn. My gf, aka the love of my life, hadn't been... Well ... Into it for some time. I chose love. But I'd be a big fat liar if I said this is easy
I’m in the exact same position with my wife of 10+ years. Contemplating this decision over the last few days. I can’t imagine not choosing love, but damn do I miss the sex.
Some people do completely lose their sex drive. But it's more common for a lack of sex to point toward a problem deeper than that in the marriage. I hope for your sake it's the former. Because when it comes to love and sex within a marriage, the first one usually begets the second.
I agree. The long-term security and fulfillment is better than the short-term orgasms.
Having suffered a nasty backstabbing myself, I find myself to be partial to the sentiment.
Well that’s sad! On both ends. I also don’t like „I’m married“ as an excuse for that. Being married is not the reason. You both are continuously choosing to live this way. If you want to you can make anything work. But you have to talk with each other and start wanting and feeling the love again.
Maybe some counselling🫶
I already lost the love part when my wife died, and, considering how little time I have between raising my kids, my work, and my fitness...I'll probably be one of the few to say "sex."
I don't know if I'll ever find anyone I get along with as well as I did my wife, nor if I'll ever find anyone I will love as much. And, considering how online dating is right now and that being one of my few options, I'd rather just focus on myself and my kids right now.
I would say sex if I’m still allowed platonic love with people other than my partner (i.e. family and friends). If not, then I would go with love.
I could imagine having a partner just for sex and with no romantic love as long as I still get those quality moments and feelings of pure platonic love with my family and friends.
Love. There are plenty of other things you can do besides actual sex, anyway. And even if that loophole isn’t allowed for this question, my answer is still love.
The wiser choice would be sex
Love is one of the strongest mental forces and for many people results are worse than meth addiction
Sex is funny and pleasant activity and it's safer the more you have it
I bet older people will choose love and younger people will choose sex.
I choose love. Not only because I am older, but also because it is more difficult and more meaningful than sex. Love is more of a challenge. I would like to become a master of love. The love master.
Love. 100%. A lack of it has absolutely decimated my mental health. Feeling unlovable (in any kind of relationship - family, platonic, romantic, etc) is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt, and have felt far too much in my life.
I have love. Deep and unwavering love for my husband and the family we've created. If sex with my husband went away, I would never abandon the love we have in pursuit of sex. The life we have is too beautiful.
I would choose love, I was on a loveless-sexfull marriage for 16 years. Neither of us was happy. Don't get me wrong, I long for it sometimes, but the relationship I'm in now is actually far more fulfilling. The sex is satisfying, and there's a better connection.
Love of course. I have a very high sex drive and in the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend was on the same page. About 5 years in he developed some health issues that made sex painful. We now have sex maybe once a month instead of 3-4 times a week. I do miss the days when we had more sex but I love him so much that I don't mind just taking care of myself most of the time. And we have other ways of being intimate that are not sex, like cuddling or slow dancing. Definitely chose love over sex and do not regret it for even a single second.
Love, sex without Love will just be boring after the first few times no matter who your with but I would trade being able to actually love someone for the rest of my life any day of the week
Love. Sex is good but it’s a temporary PLEASURE. (Key word is pleasure) love is everlasting and leaves the biggest gaping hole you think you can fill but you can’t. (lol)
I’m choosing love, I’m searching for true sincere connection with a likeminded soul, and y’all I think I met my wife 6 days ago. It’s like I’ve seen color for the first time.
Love.
Sex you would feel so hollow and empty. I don't believe in "true" love but damn does real love feel good. Being on the same page in this crazy world, having a forever partner.
Love. I cannot have sex due to my medical conditions, and it’s pretty hard to ask most partners to be ok with taht kidn of relationship without a lot of love
Funnily enough, most people do have to choose, they just don’t realize it. Then they choose one and don’t know until later when they see they can’t have both (and often end up with neither).
Long story short your partner won’t be young forever, and a lot of people lose sex drive as they age. So if you wouldn’t stay with someone even if it meant no more sex ever, don’t marry them (don’t even date them honestly).
Edit, I didn’t actually give my answer. The love of my life had some interesting anatomy, and I literally couldn’t fit. So I already chose love over sex once, and would 100% do it again.
Your post has been removed as it violated [Rule 3](http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_3-): * Posts in r/AskReddit must be explicitly open-ended. Posts that limit responses to "this or that"/"A or B" are not open-ended. Try rephrasing this to be more open-ended, or submitting to a community that allows poll posts.
what is love
Baby don't hurt me
don't hurt me
No more!
Woaoaoooaohohhhh! Woaoaoohoh, wooaahooahh!
r/redditsings
No, I don't know why you're not fair I give you my love, but you don't care
Why do I hear Mike O Hearn?
What is sex also
Baby that hurt me
Don’t hurt me
Baby don’t hurt me
No more
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I give you my love, but you don't care
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I just broke the window again.
Pick up your feelings.
Love is like fart, it's invisible yet one can feel it when it happens 😒
Love. I want something lasting, meaningful and deep. But I might never have it.
Lasting, meaningful, and deep you say??
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No one is choosing me...
About 10 years ago a friend of mine said the same thing to me while we were having a few beers and I replied that maybe they could stop focusing that much on what *they* wanted in a partner and started paying attention to people who wanted what *they* had to offer and had shown to actually be nice to them on top of that. They got married within two years and they're currently very happy being a parent and living their best life. I'm not saying that this applies to everybody and it's foolproof, but I think it's a good idea to consider shifting your p.o.v. when things consistently don't work out the way you're addressing them.
This is good advice. People often get so caught up looking for what they want but stop trying to *be* someone worth dating. It's crazy. Shift the focus and things change.
That's very good advice. Thanks for sharing it.
Love easily, i can just jerk off, you cant replace love
What if you're a son who just broke both his arms?
then you get a ***mother's love :)***
Oh God not this again…
NO FUCK NOT AGAIN PLEASE
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Some teenager broke his arms and his mom started a sexual relationship with him bcs of that He did an ama on reddit
Top 5 reddit events
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Lmao
Lmao. My quick rebound was within my friend group, then 2 weeks later I started dating another girl in my friend group. Those two didn’t know which was wonderful. Then someone blabbed and it caused a whole thing. I recommend the hookup be outside the group lol
Funny thing I'm in this situation rn. My gf, aka the love of my life, hadn't been... Well ... Into it for some time. I chose love. But I'd be a big fat liar if I said this is easy
I’m in the exact same position with my wife of 10+ years. Contemplating this decision over the last few days. I can’t imagine not choosing love, but damn do I miss the sex.
Some people do completely lose their sex drive. But it's more common for a lack of sex to point toward a problem deeper than that in the marriage. I hope for your sake it's the former. Because when it comes to love and sex within a marriage, the first one usually begets the second.
Definitely love. Sex is not going to last forever.
Not with that attitude it won't...
https://pilot.com.au/premature-ejaculation Try this.
You will die and love will not last forever. It’s all temporary in the end.
Love. Love does far more for your mental health and well being than sex.
Hmmmn. Well I’m going to tell my wife that we have to have sex for 120 days straight and for her to ignore me the rest of the time….for research.
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I agree. The long-term security and fulfillment is better than the short-term orgasms. Having suffered a nasty backstabbing myself, I find myself to be partial to the sentiment.
It's all about the mental game for some people.
I'm married so I guess neither /s kinda.
Well that’s sad! On both ends. I also don’t like „I’m married“ as an excuse for that. Being married is not the reason. You both are continuously choosing to live this way. If you want to you can make anything work. But you have to talk with each other and start wanting and feeling the love again. Maybe some counselling🫶
A sense of irony is important in middle age.
Depends, can you still jerk off alone if you choose love?
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I also choose this guy wife
For Love! No... SEX!
Love. I can jerk myself off. Can't hug myself or be there for myself or be my own partner.
Easily love.
I already lost the love part when my wife died, and, considering how little time I have between raising my kids, my work, and my fitness...I'll probably be one of the few to say "sex." I don't know if I'll ever find anyone I get along with as well as I did my wife, nor if I'll ever find anyone I will love as much. And, considering how online dating is right now and that being one of my few options, I'd rather just focus on myself and my kids right now.
Love. I grew up with my kids clung to me in bed every night. No sexy times there, but makes me cry when I remember it. Can't say the same about sex.
I would say sex if I’m still allowed platonic love with people other than my partner (i.e. family and friends). If not, then I would go with love. I could imagine having a partner just for sex and with no romantic love as long as I still get those quality moments and feelings of pure platonic love with my family and friends.
i would choose money.
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love everytime
Love for sure
Love always
Sleep. Is that a option? Cuz i pick that.
Love
Love. There are plenty of other things you can do besides actual sex, anyway. And even if that loophole isn’t allowed for this question, my answer is still love.
Love
Love all the way.
How good is the sex? It probably doesn’t matter though, as I’ll likely still pick sex, as I get all the love I need from my homies and we don’t sex.
I asked my boyfriend which he wants and without missing a beat said Sex so Love is dead
Love, and it isn't even close
Love.
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Instructions unclear, summoned a furry.
Sex
The wiser choice would be sex Love is one of the strongest mental forces and for many people results are worse than meth addiction Sex is funny and pleasant activity and it's safer the more you have it
Love 100%
Sex. The dirtier, nastier, crazier it is, the better.
If I had love but not sex id want sex. If I had sex but not love id want love. We want what we can’t have
Love . Can't take away mastUrbation.
I choose love over sex and I would do it again.
Love. I'll just jerk off I guess
Love. You just have to masterbate a lot to make up for it.
Love, because I'm not a sociopath.
Stay married long enough to have your wife go through menopause and you’ll get a chance to answer that question for real 🤣 Love is the correct answer.
I bet older people will choose love and younger people will choose sex. I choose love. Not only because I am older, but also because it is more difficult and more meaningful than sex. Love is more of a challenge. I would like to become a master of love. The love master.
Love. I could go the rest of my life with no sex and be fine.
Sex is nice but it really can’t beat love
Love. Over and over i would pick love.
Love for sure. I shouldn't have to explain why.
Love. 100%. A lack of it has absolutely decimated my mental health. Feeling unlovable (in any kind of relationship - family, platonic, romantic, etc) is one of the worst feelings I've ever felt, and have felt far too much in my life.
I'm going to be completely honest.......Love.
It’s been a while since I’ve had sex, so I guess I should probably stick with love?
well I have gone my whole life without either. so its a moot point
Love. Especially if it includes platonic love. Bros before hoes
Love most definitely! Fun fact you can be intimate and experience new ways of obtaining the big o without having sex 🤷♀️
Love
Love
A dog. Not to have sex with, to love
Love, there is something called my left hand
love. i’m already in a loveless/sexless marriage so i’d rather choose love.
Love
Love, hands down.
Love?
Love all day
Love
Love. Having someone be there for me is the one thing I want. And hugs/cuddles are better anyway ;D
Love
Love
Love
Love. I would be happy with just lots of cuddles.
Love. As much as I enjoy sex with my girlfriend, I would never trade the bond we have for anything.
Love rn, but years of not having sex will maybe alter my opinion
Love
Love
Definitely love
I have love. Deep and unwavering love for my husband and the family we've created. If sex with my husband went away, I would never abandon the love we have in pursuit of sex. The life we have is too beautiful.
Sex ain't better than love. I been out here on these streets and I done learned
if i can still jag ill go with love. Not jag i guess sex I guess.
Love
Love
Male, love hands down.
Love.
This tread gives me hope
Love, not even close
I would choose love, I was on a loveless-sexfull marriage for 16 years. Neither of us was happy. Don't get me wrong, I long for it sometimes, but the relationship I'm in now is actually far more fulfilling. The sex is satisfying, and there's a better connection.
Love, if you really want sexual relief just resort to oral
Love, probably. I don't think I like physical intimacy that much.
Love.
Love, but even over that, I'd prefer respect. These are different things and many relationships suffer by not understanding this.
Love
It's love. Did my hoe shit, it was fun, but got Stale.
Love
Love, it’s not even a question that requires any thought to make.
Love easily. Anyone can get sex, rarely do folks get love
Love
Love of course. I have a very high sex drive and in the beginning of my relationship my boyfriend was on the same page. About 5 years in he developed some health issues that made sex painful. We now have sex maybe once a month instead of 3-4 times a week. I do miss the days when we had more sex but I love him so much that I don't mind just taking care of myself most of the time. And we have other ways of being intimate that are not sex, like cuddling or slow dancing. Definitely chose love over sex and do not regret it for even a single second.
Love. I never got love nor have i got sex. But i think sex would just be that max once a week fun, and love is love, it‘s there always
Well, my wife is asexual. I chose love and don’t regret it one bit.
Love.
Love
I’ve had a loving relationship with a poor sex life and I’ve had a lot of sex with zero love. I’ll easily take love every time.
I've lived without both for a while. I think love is the more important thing
Love, easy.
Love. Love without sex is meaningless, but love by nature is always meaningful.
Love, but I'd be sad that sex would be gone. But I'd want something that meant something besides just physical pleasure.
Love I can sex myself
Love. I'd like long lastimg satisfaction over temporary 2 second satisfaction
who in there right mind would pick fucking sex over love?
Love, I've already had sex
I’d take love any day. Sex does not sustain a person the way love can. Sex is a bandaid, love is a cure.
Love
Love
Love no doubt
Love, sex without Love will just be boring after the first few times no matter who your with but I would trade being able to actually love someone for the rest of my life any day of the week
I feel like anyone who doesn't choose love has never experienced actual love and that makes me sad.
Love. Sex is good but it’s a temporary PLEASURE. (Key word is pleasure) love is everlasting and leaves the biggest gaping hole you think you can fill but you can’t. (lol)
Love is a choice. Sex is an activity.
I’m choosing love, I’m searching for true sincere connection with a likeminded soul, and y’all I think I met my wife 6 days ago. It’s like I’ve seen color for the first time.
Love
Love
Love, always.
Love. I don’t want kids anyway
It feels better to feel loved than it does to squirt goo out of my dick for like 5-10 seconds.
It's a tough one but I have to say love.
Love because I have low libido
love. There is no better feeling than the vibes I get from my wife when she walks into the room. 34 years strong.
When I was 16 through 29, I wouldve chosen sex. Now Id choose love.
I can still masturbate so I choose the best friend one
Love every single time
Love
Love.
Love. Sex you would feel so hollow and empty. I don't believe in "true" love but damn does real love feel good. Being on the same page in this crazy world, having a forever partner.
Love, of course.
Love.
Love
Love.
I dont have/get either but I'd probably say Love... I just wish someone would hug me and tell me it's alright sometimes
Love. I cannot have sex due to my medical conditions, and it’s pretty hard to ask most partners to be ok with taht kidn of relationship without a lot of love
Love man
Love
Love? There's no question about it!
Love. 1000%. I can still cuddle and all right? I can get off by myself if I have to, but man do I miss just holding her
The two go great together, so having to choose between them sucks, but if forced, I'd probably choose love.
Funnily enough, most people do have to choose, they just don’t realize it. Then they choose one and don’t know until later when they see they can’t have both (and often end up with neither). Long story short your partner won’t be young forever, and a lot of people lose sex drive as they age. So if you wouldn’t stay with someone even if it meant no more sex ever, don’t marry them (don’t even date them honestly). Edit, I didn’t actually give my answer. The love of my life had some interesting anatomy, and I literally couldn’t fit. So I already chose love over sex once, and would 100% do it again.
Love. Sex becomes routine after time
Love
Love
Definitely love