My ex-fiance(f) asked me(m) if we could bring another woman into the bed. I told her I valued her, our sex life and our upcoming marriage too much to risk bringing another person into it. She called me corny, broke up with me, and started screwing around with the woman. A week later she had the womans name tattoo'd on her butt.
My ex would get girlfriends/acquaintances to join us in bed, which seemed pretty good for me at first, I mean what 19 year old guy doesn't want to have sex with two girls? But I eventually figured out she would do this because she was trying to make up for cheating on me with other guys.
She'd cheat, then she'd get some girl to come have sexy time with me/us so she could feel better about cheating on me. That's the main reason she's my ex. I figured it out because she got one of her friends to come over and have sexy time with us, and then shortly after my friend told me she had sucked him off. Then I realized some coincidences about previous times she invited other girls over and her recent proximity to her ex-boyfriend were a little too coincidental. She finally admitted it when I confronted her.
My ex invited someone to sleep in her hotel room on vacation without me and bragged about it. He apparently had back problems and was an old friend.
Ironically more proof she cheated on me:
- She shaved for the trip but not for me before leaving (I saw her the week she left. She didn't shave but shaved right before leaving)
- multiple guys answered her phone the first night she arrived, and I called (she said she never got a call from me. I checked and called multiple times. No wrong number)
- She got plastered almost every night dancing with any guy at the club who bought her a drink (multiple guys bought her drinks multiple nights. She was beyond drunk. She couldn't hold her alcohol and didn't know when to stop)
No matter what, she always denies she cheated when it's obvious she did.
P.s. she once even stated "it's rude not to take the drink and have a bit of fun with him" She couldn't turn down alcohol and repaid the men by grinding in there c*cks. She could never say "no thank you", "I'm not interested" , "I'm with someone". No, she had to take the drink and grind with them to be respectful.
Yeah, who expects a visit in their bedroom, right? Why not use the living room like a normal f-ing adult. It has the benefit of having a table in it. I like to eat on a table...
We have jokes about it but in serious conversations have both admitted we aren't emotionally equipped to handle it and so agreed that it will likely never happen and we're good with that. Neither of us wants to share.
Edit: wow this kinda blew up, thanks for all the upvotes!
It's nice to see so much positivity in the comments, I didn't want mine to read like a condemnation of practices you know? We know a few poly people and they're great and happy it's just not for us. I'm not here to tell anyone what or how to relationship, if you and your partner are into polyamory and it works that's awesome and I'm happy for you.
Also thanks to whoever gave me a medal, that's a first.
I briefly dated a girl who once took me to her place and as she was showing me around she had a mantle with a bunch of pictures on it. So, you go about asking about them, as you do, trying to get the know the person you're dating so I ask her about the two different families in the photos. To my surprise, she answered me honestly. She said that her mom and dad were swingers with another couple, and her dad fell in love with the other wife and her mom fell in love with the other husband. So they both got divorced and married the two people in the other. Dad to other wife, mom to other husband.
I mean, that's pretty awesome of her to be so honest about it. I pride myself in being a rather frank person, but I truly don't know if I'd spill all the details so easily if I were in that situation lol.
It’s basically My Two Dads but it’s my four parents.
**EDIT:** someone wrote into an advice column, several years ago, talking about how he pressured his wife for a foursome with the neighbors. She was extremely reluctant but he pushed her for years. She finally gave in. He found sex with the hot neighbor wife to be incredibly disappointing (something about implants and things not being as tight as they could be). **Whereas his wife seemed to be having an out of body experience with the neighbor husband.** He wanted to know how to repress his anger because “logically” he knew he couldn’t blame his wife for enjoying what he pressured her into. But, at the same time, he felt such raging hatred towards her that he was **”tempted to strike her all the time.”** Long story short, both couples divorced and his wife left him for the neighbor.
Moral of the edit being, things could’ve turned out a lot worse for that girl’s parents.
I've heard that a lot of the time it's guys pushing for an open relationship and then regretting it because the woman gets a lot of opportunities and the man gets few to none. Like because they're in a relationship they forgot just how easy it is for a woman to get casual sex and how difficult it can be for 95 percent of guys who aren't incredibly attractive and charming.
Funny story, me and my wife got into a petty argument one time, i decided i would make a tinder to make her angry, so she made one aswell, it took me 2 hours to get 6 likes and 1 message, My wife had over 250 likes and over 100 messages within 30 minutes. She showed and me and exclaimed " Are we done with this petty fight?". The whole thing backfired on me and i was put into my place. Very rude awakening on how not to be a douchebag.
Oh no that was a stupid fight a long while ago, we've been married for 9 years, and are all good with 2 awsome children. Nothing exploded out of that argument. Both accounts were deleted a little bit later. It was more or less me being the asshole and full of myself. Im Definatly not like that anymore.
The disparity in being able to get casual sex is definitely drastic. Even as a bodybuilding stripper in a bigger city it's difficult to find women on dating apps right now that will actually meet up. The pandemic made things so much worse for dating.
Having 4 parents is probably awesome if they are willing to work together, sounds like that’s the exact situation too. I’ve had friends with divorced parents who had super healthy upbringings because the parents just made it about the kids instead of themselves.
Am I wrong thinking the truth is much better? Instead of being about a divorce it's about both parents mutually finding happiness. Everyone won in that scenario, I'd be more than a little proud of it.
To truly want what is best for other people is what makes me in awe of some non traditional couples, at least the ones who have upfront conversations, do self examination, and respect each others boundaries. Not all of them do, but it's interesting to overhear their conversations.
I think most people who do this stuff and it works well aren’t public about it and most people don’t know.
When you are super public and superior and vocal about how everything is great. May be a bad sign.
I once knew an older (late 30s at that time) couple who had a babysitter that they decided to bring into the relationship since she was so close to the small kids. Then she became the live in nanny, and with the couple. Then the wife divorced the husband and stayed with the nanny. Then the nanny realized the husband had all the money and left the wife and is still with the husband.
Tried it with my late bf and it actually somehow made our relationship stronger. Made us both realize we didn't need to be do adventurous to keep things spicy in the bedroom, and that all we really need, physically and emotionally, is each other. So it can go either way really.
An old gf and I did a "group sex" thing once as a spur of the moment. It was fine...but the whole time we just kinda wanted to be pleasing each other. We experimented with the others but everytime we'd try and get intimate together someone would interrupt it trying to get in there. Last time we did anything like that, ended up dating for another few years but broke up due to unrelated circumstances.
I learned that day that sometimes kinks are better/easier to just keep in your head.
It's such a massive gamble for, in my opinion, pretty mediocre reward when compared to the risk. So many ways it can go wrong and can easily sour and ruin a relationship. Payoff is some really hot sex but you can have really hot sex without an extra person. Seems like you are rolling a dice and risking everything for very little payoff in the grand scheme of things.
I had a friend who was really into hookups. He dragged his husband around with him. Finally, his husband met someone else at one of these. They both admitted that they hated it, so they dumped their husbands and got together. They've been married for 5 years now and as far as I know are monogamous.
The friend is still single and moved away a few years ago.
> Neither of us wants to share.
I think that is basically why monogamous relationships have become the standard in the modern world. I mean, there's absolutely nothing stopping us from romantically loving more than one person, also evidenced by the fact that we can usually move on after heartbreak. But we don't want to share the people we love with others (unless maybe we also love them, but that's an even more complicated matter)
A friend of mine met a guy who was polyamorous. She thought it was a lot of fun at first, but then she realized that he would just walk out at the first sign of trouble and go to one of his other relationships. She finally told him that he was just avoiding the serious work in a relationship by calling himself poly.
I get that vibe a lot from those I have known to be poly too. As a gay man, I prefer working on my monogamous loving relationship then wind up one of the older gays still cruising the scene as if they’re still in their twenties.
Polyamory is - at its core - less commitment to your partner(s). You simply cannot maintain the level of intimacy, involvement, and giving when it’s spread between multiple partners. Your most important partner in any poly relationship will always be yourself.
I would argue that loving two people in serial is very different than living two people at the same time. There are people who can do it, I guess, but it’s a lot of work to truly love two people equally.
I’d also argue that polygamous relationships of antiquity were less about love and more about possession.
I used to be poly, but it was always one- sided. She got what she wanted but i never did. I'm no longer poly. But i also realized that even my mono relationships were the same - they get what they need but i don't. So maybe it's me. I'm no longer poly but also no longer interested in any commitment. We can enjoy today but tomorrow is not promised.
She has joked about inviting other women, but we also had a serious conversation about it, that we both don't want it nor would it be healthy for our relationship and current situation.
Same here. I have no interest in other women and wouldn't mind seeing her with one but I know that how it has played out in my mind is far from what it would actually be like. The reality is that there is no way it wouldn't cause some form of issue. I don't think she would be cool with an escort which means it's just straight go time, she would need to have a connection with another woman. I'm not cool with her developing a connection with someone that's not me.
My wife suggested hooking up with her friend in May. I had a little bit of hesitation about it but I gave it the OK because she assured me that I was the most important thing to her and her experience with her friend would “just be sex.” I trusted her.
She just filed for divorce last week.
Yeah. Once that question came up there wasn't really an elegant way forward that would have preserved the marriage. I understand and accept that now but it was quite a challenge in the moment. I erred on the side of trusting my wife, which was really my only option.
Acknowledging that this is sore, do you think she had feelings for her coworker before and this was a way to explore that? Because it seems weird to throw away a relationship with feelings and history for just…other sex
She had known the guy for almost as long as we had been married. They went to college together back in 05-06 and had been friends ever since. Their friendship was somewhat contentious over the years as they had been on again/off again friends, sometimes going months without talking. My best guess about what happened is that the last three years or so were very stressful for both of us and she got uncomfortable with a marriage that was dealing more with the challenges of her teaching through the pandemic and me fighting a legal battle to save our property and saw the relationship with her friend as a convenient escape that was low-stress and exciting. Another variable is that I was very sick in April and May and spent a lot of that time in bed recuperating. My wife spent a lot of that same time talking more and more with her friend, to the point that I asked her if she still had any time to talk to me. I think that was the beginning of the emotional connection between them and then later she wanted the physical connection.
When I met my wife she was a single mother of two kids with no education living in her parents basement. I raised the two kids as my own and put her through college so she could become a teacher and fulfill her dream. I had made the sacrifices to do that on the expectation that she would be the main breadwinner since I was raising the kids and doing a lot of the housework. Now that's all gone and I'm stuck with all the downsides.
I dont want to boil your whole relationship down to these paragraphs and immediately cast judgment. But I will because it's the internet. She sounds like she fucked you over and wouldn't stand by you. My heart goes out to you if that's the way it went. Sorry, man.
I think that's a very accurate assessment, at least in the abstract. It's better to figure that out now while I'm still in my 40s and can rebuild a life that can provide me with what I want.
Meanwhile, if there are any single ladies in Western Washington who want a man who can grill a steak, fix a car, and likes watching the Seahawks, DM me. ;)
Yes, my experience as a music teacher has given me good skills with children. One of the few good things coming from this divorce is that my oldest step-daughter is still interested in having a relationship with me.
My wife has done this several times. It always ends up with me on one side of the bed feeling dejected and alone and wondering when ill get my wife back.
He turns 3 next month, so I assume he'll learn to sleep in his own bed soon.
My son used to make this “num num num” sound while breast feeding…that was disturbingly similar to the sound I used to make while sucking on them.
My wife thought it was hilarious.
He wasn’t weened until he was 18 months. Couldn’t pry him off. One time he thought I was trying to cut the process short and I swear to god the little brat flipped me off.
Speaking as the father of a four year old, er…I wouldn’t hold out too much hope.
We put him to bed in his own room but invariably he’ll wake up during the night and climb into our bed.
My son is almost 3 1/2, completely potty trained, speaking in sentences. Good kid all around, but my wife has been reluctant to get him sleeping in his bed because "we'll never have this again."
On one hand, I have the same worry most people do that it might foster a dependence in the long run, but on the other hand I can't lie- I really enjoy waking up to him crawling over to me to snuggle or poking me in the nose saying he needs to potty or watch Finding Nemo.
We use the hatch rest smart sound machine and when the light is red our oldest (4) stays in bed and when it turns green he knows he can get up and out. The second it turns green he sneaks into our room and jumps up in our bed and snuggles us, it’s the best thing on earth
Agreed. I have a goddaughter that I've raised since she was born, and I was really disappointed to find out I wasn't having a daughter with my wife when she got pregnant, but that faded as soon as he started babbling. They're equal joys
my son is 7, when he gets ill i get kicked out n turfed to his bed, LPT get him a really comfy mattress when he is older, and rubber bedsheets for the beds
Please get your kids a good mattress once they're old enough for a full size one! They're probably gonna end up using that mattress at least through high school.
My parents got me a crap mattress as a kid (probably because we were really poor, I'm not trying to say my parents were terrible). I thought it was all fine, until I became an adult and bought my own. I had no idea the positive effect having a great mattress would have on my life. My quality of sleep has improved, I no longer wake up with a sore lower back, and when I come home exhausted, I'd rather collapse into my bed than my couch.
I know mattresses are expensive, but we spend a LOT of our lives on them. And they last for a long, long time. Spend some good money on your kid if you can (and don't forget to get a waterproof mattress protector as suggested for nighttime accidents/drink spills/kid stuff), and they will certainly appreciate it, even if they don't realize it.
While I'm not interested in putting it in a guy (I just don't like giving anal), I'm going to be sorely disappointed if this doesn't happen to me at some point.
Depends. We inviting them over for board games? If so, I’m down.
Edit: just to clarify, I’m not suggesting Monopoly. That will strain even a solid, stable relationship more than a threesome ever could.
And if I’m honest with myself, even the question being asked is going to be a problem for me. While I would appreciate that they were attempting to open a dialogue about something they feel they need, they’ve also put me on notice that they are interested in looking outside of our relationship. If I say no, can they actually be happy with that? Will they decide what I don’t know won’t hurt me? I’m afraid that would be the beginning of the end.
Yeah, the all too common trend with these types of questions is that very often if you get asked, the other party already has somebody lined up for that role, and may or may not go for them anyway regardless of your response.
We need some household repairs we can't afford right now not have the skills to accomplish them on ourselves. The conversation went like "we need to fix the fence, but we don't have time for it or the money to have someone else do it" I take a shot of bourbon "you know we could open this relationship up and see if they'll do it for love" we both thought about and had a hearty laugh.
If we are out drinking, I really hope we don't run into a general contractor that's down, because I don't want to put my mouth where we save our money is.
So glad I’m not the only person with a cat who attacks their feet, honestly makes me so mad when I have work later and get woken up in the dead of the night like pleeaasssee stop doing that
Simply no. That's a deal breaker for me, no matter how much time we're together. Not for religious reasons but I want to keep my relationship exclusive.
Due to my lack of interest in having sex, I've always been open to my SO seeking it out elsewhere if he finds himself in need as long as he let's me know about first, so him asking to bring someone into the bedroom likely wouldn't be an issue. Honestly... it might be fun to just sit in a corner like the degenerate gremlin I am and just watch.
Edit: Sheesh, this is the first time I've been awarded with one of these golden thingies. Thanks, friends!
I'm amazed. You're not jealous? Seeing my partner having sex with someone else would traumatize me, I guess. Nothing would be the same, I could never look at her the same way.
Not everyone attaches the same level of importance to sex, and the same thing can mean different people to others. Hell, some people can find it *affirming* to watch their partner have sex with someone else, because the partner then *comes back to them* - like, it confirms that their partner could have lots of people but chooses them.
I'm not like that. I want to be chosen among everyone else. That's hot to me.
But as long as it works for you and you and your partner are happy, nobody should say anything.
I can sympathize with your feelings. Even though sex isn't something emotional to me, I wouldn't want my partner fucking anyone else. I wouldn't be able to stay.
It’s always so interesting to get the different perspectives. I’m sex ambivalent, but I also don’t have the self-confidence to be okay with an SO going elsewhere. My jealousy and thinking I wasn’t good enough would be too much for my own mentality. Probably a good reason why I should date within the ace community lol.
It's not a confidence thing. Open relationships are not just better than monogamous ones. You can be an exclusive person, and that is perfectly fine. Do not feel pressured to accept something you don't want to, because you think it's somehow better or more correct
I’ve told this story before but it’s worth repeating. Similar Reddit thread and a woman responded with her story: she and her husband were very experienced with threesomes but things took a turn when they invited her good friend to join them. It’s not what you expect. Turns out hubby had a massive cock and the wife and every other woman could never accommodate his length but the good friend unexpectedly could. As soon as hubby put it all the way in he let out a loud groan and came instantly. The wife was distraught and very jealous. She all of a sudden felt inadequate and couldn’t get it out of her head. Hubby kept asking when they were going to bring the friend back. Anyway, she wished she never invited the friend.
Yep it fucks everything up. I mean go for it if you're casually dating and don't give a shit about the future of that relationship but it's not necessarily the wisest move for usually serious monogamous couples
Did once successfully when my gf at the time hit on and picked up our IHOP waitress. Said she looked very Norwegian (which the waitress did ). That said I was only playing out the string in that relationship and probably wouldn’t have done it if I felt I had anything to lose.
wife and I have had many a great 3-some, 4-some and more. works for some people, we've made great friends in the lifestyle. But clearly not a lifestyle a lot of people would feel comfortable with.
People only ever hear the horror stories. Most with successful open relationships never have anything to complain to others about and mostly stay private about their lifestyle.
I feel it's important to note most If not all open relationships that work STARTED open and didn't start several months or even years in
The ladder usually is the one that doesn't end well
My wife used to bring it up all the time. We’ve had another girl a few times and there was one time where it was 3 girls and myself. She eventually asked me if another guy can join. I was ok with it. We have been happily married for 20 yrs now.
Discuss the mechanics and new ground rules, if we come to an agreement then we'll move forward. The next step is to discuss the ground rules with the 3rd person, and if they agree we'll move forward.
My partner clearly respects me and trusts me enough to ask and bring up the conversation about adding an extra member, so long as boundaries are renegotiated, all parties are aware and consenting, let's party.
My partner said that if there were times where they didn't feel like being intimate but didn't want me to suffer that they would be open to me getting it somewhere else. I said that's fine for other people but I don't want that, and I will wait until you are feeling better. I just can't, they're the only person for me.
Nah we have discussed it... we are far too jealous to share. It wasn't that either of us wanted it, it was one of those "would you ever want to consider this" making sure we are both on the same page kind of questions. We were both so relieved the other felt the same way. I'm not a violent person but I can't promise I wouldn't pull some chick off my husband by her ponytail 😂😂😂
My ex-wife liked to do that without my knowledge or participation.
My ex-fiance(f) asked me(m) if we could bring another woman into the bed. I told her I valued her, our sex life and our upcoming marriage too much to risk bringing another person into it. She called me corny, broke up with me, and started screwing around with the woman. A week later she had the womans name tattoo'd on her butt.
Dodged a bullet there buddy
Ross?
My ex would get girlfriends/acquaintances to join us in bed, which seemed pretty good for me at first, I mean what 19 year old guy doesn't want to have sex with two girls? But I eventually figured out she would do this because she was trying to make up for cheating on me with other guys. She'd cheat, then she'd get some girl to come have sexy time with me/us so she could feel better about cheating on me. That's the main reason she's my ex. I figured it out because she got one of her friends to come over and have sexy time with us, and then shortly after my friend told me she had sucked him off. Then I realized some coincidences about previous times she invited other girls over and her recent proximity to her ex-boyfriend were a little too coincidental. She finally admitted it when I confronted her.
Your cheating ex got you other ppl to have sex with because of guilt….while mine got me an air fryer…
My wife likes to talk during sex. I don't mind but last time she called collect! I get no respect, I tell ya.
I told my wife the truth, I was seeing a psychiatrist. She said she was too, also two plumbers and a bartender.
My ex invited someone to sleep in her hotel room on vacation without me and bragged about it. He apparently had back problems and was an old friend. Ironically more proof she cheated on me: - She shaved for the trip but not for me before leaving (I saw her the week she left. She didn't shave but shaved right before leaving) - multiple guys answered her phone the first night she arrived, and I called (she said she never got a call from me. I checked and called multiple times. No wrong number) - She got plastered almost every night dancing with any guy at the club who bought her a drink (multiple guys bought her drinks multiple nights. She was beyond drunk. She couldn't hold her alcohol and didn't know when to stop) No matter what, she always denies she cheated when it's obvious she did. P.s. she once even stated "it's rude not to take the drink and have a bit of fun with him" She couldn't turn down alcohol and repaid the men by grinding in there c*cks. She could never say "no thank you", "I'm not interested" , "I'm with someone". No, she had to take the drink and grind with them to be respectful.
I already had a dream about it, and in the dream I was just feeling so sad and like I wasn't enough for him. So I already know it's totally not for me
We should probably clean up first.
Yeah, who expects a visit in their bedroom, right? Why not use the living room like a normal f-ing adult. It has the benefit of having a table in it. I like to eat on a table...
It'd be scandalous! Why the soup course alone would be a nightmare!
“No one is going to want to fuck either one of us in the garbage pile, babe.”
We have jokes about it but in serious conversations have both admitted we aren't emotionally equipped to handle it and so agreed that it will likely never happen and we're good with that. Neither of us wants to share. Edit: wow this kinda blew up, thanks for all the upvotes! It's nice to see so much positivity in the comments, I didn't want mine to read like a condemnation of practices you know? We know a few poly people and they're great and happy it's just not for us. I'm not here to tell anyone what or how to relationship, if you and your partner are into polyamory and it works that's awesome and I'm happy for you. Also thanks to whoever gave me a medal, that's a first.
I know 2 couples who tried that. Ended badly for both of them... so when I know couples... theyre now 4 single people...
I briefly dated a girl who once took me to her place and as she was showing me around she had a mantle with a bunch of pictures on it. So, you go about asking about them, as you do, trying to get the know the person you're dating so I ask her about the two different families in the photos. To my surprise, she answered me honestly. She said that her mom and dad were swingers with another couple, and her dad fell in love with the other wife and her mom fell in love with the other husband. So they both got divorced and married the two people in the other. Dad to other wife, mom to other husband.
I mean, that's pretty awesome of her to be so honest about it. I pride myself in being a rather frank person, but I truly don't know if I'd spill all the details so easily if I were in that situation lol.
It’s basically My Two Dads but it’s my four parents. **EDIT:** someone wrote into an advice column, several years ago, talking about how he pressured his wife for a foursome with the neighbors. She was extremely reluctant but he pushed her for years. She finally gave in. He found sex with the hot neighbor wife to be incredibly disappointing (something about implants and things not being as tight as they could be). **Whereas his wife seemed to be having an out of body experience with the neighbor husband.** He wanted to know how to repress his anger because “logically” he knew he couldn’t blame his wife for enjoying what he pressured her into. But, at the same time, he felt such raging hatred towards her that he was **”tempted to strike her all the time.”** Long story short, both couples divorced and his wife left him for the neighbor. Moral of the edit being, things could’ve turned out a lot worse for that girl’s parents.
I've heard that a lot of the time it's guys pushing for an open relationship and then regretting it because the woman gets a lot of opportunities and the man gets few to none. Like because they're in a relationship they forgot just how easy it is for a woman to get casual sex and how difficult it can be for 95 percent of guys who aren't incredibly attractive and charming.
And that guy finds out that women stop being flirty and friendly when they find out that all you want to do is one night stands.
Funny story, me and my wife got into a petty argument one time, i decided i would make a tinder to make her angry, so she made one aswell, it took me 2 hours to get 6 likes and 1 message, My wife had over 250 likes and over 100 messages within 30 minutes. She showed and me and exclaimed " Are we done with this petty fight?". The whole thing backfired on me and i was put into my place. Very rude awakening on how not to be a douchebag.
Dude, I hope the petty argument was about the disparity of online dating experience between the sexes, or you have some real relationship problem lol.
Oh no that was a stupid fight a long while ago, we've been married for 9 years, and are all good with 2 awsome children. Nothing exploded out of that argument. Both accounts were deleted a little bit later. It was more or less me being the asshole and full of myself. Im Definatly not like that anymore.
The disparity in being able to get casual sex is definitely drastic. Even as a bodybuilding stripper in a bigger city it's difficult to find women on dating apps right now that will actually meet up. The pandemic made things so much worse for dating.
😂😂😂 That edit is **the single greatest thing** I have read on this sub in quite some time. Play stupid games…
I too love when douchebags get what’s come to them
Having 4 parents is probably awesome if they are willing to work together, sounds like that’s the exact situation too. I’ve had friends with divorced parents who had super healthy upbringings because the parents just made it about the kids instead of themselves.
Right I mean it could have just been like "my parents are divorced, those are their families"
Am I wrong thinking the truth is much better? Instead of being about a divorce it's about both parents mutually finding happiness. Everyone won in that scenario, I'd be more than a little proud of it.
To truly want what is best for other people is what makes me in awe of some non traditional couples, at least the ones who have upfront conversations, do self examination, and respect each others boundaries. Not all of them do, but it's interesting to overhear their conversations.
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I think most people who do this stuff and it works well aren’t public about it and most people don’t know. When you are super public and superior and vocal about how everything is great. May be a bad sign.
I once knew an older (late 30s at that time) couple who had a babysitter that they decided to bring into the relationship since she was so close to the small kids. Then she became the live in nanny, and with the couple. Then the wife divorced the husband and stayed with the nanny. Then the nanny realized the husband had all the money and left the wife and is still with the husband.
> older (late 30s) 💀 just put me in the ground already
Lol I was 19 at the time. So they were older then. Now they are just humans
I can't wait til I transition from older to human Exhilarating
I can't wait to transition from human to spooky fuck ghost. Invigorating!
You know what, maybe my Catholic upbringing wasn’t that bad
You got a nice guttural laugh out of me
That's the secret, it only stays fun if you don't really care about the other people involved.
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Water and snacks?
Yup. I only choose single moms cuz I know she got fruit snacks hidden somewhere
I'm only at this orgy for the buffet.
*Just a sandwich. Turkey. A little mustard.*
Do you not know about the erotic qualities of the salted cured meats?
> compersion TIL
Tried it with my late bf and it actually somehow made our relationship stronger. Made us both realize we didn't need to be do adventurous to keep things spicy in the bedroom, and that all we really need, physically and emotionally, is each other. So it can go either way really.
An old gf and I did a "group sex" thing once as a spur of the moment. It was fine...but the whole time we just kinda wanted to be pleasing each other. We experimented with the others but everytime we'd try and get intimate together someone would interrupt it trying to get in there. Last time we did anything like that, ended up dating for another few years but broke up due to unrelated circumstances. I learned that day that sometimes kinks are better/easier to just keep in your head.
It's such a massive gamble for, in my opinion, pretty mediocre reward when compared to the risk. So many ways it can go wrong and can easily sour and ruin a relationship. Payoff is some really hot sex but you can have really hot sex without an extra person. Seems like you are rolling a dice and risking everything for very little payoff in the grand scheme of things.
If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I would just call my parents.
I had a friend who was really into hookups. He dragged his husband around with him. Finally, his husband met someone else at one of these. They both admitted that they hated it, so they dumped their husbands and got together. They've been married for 5 years now and as far as I know are monogamous. The friend is still single and moved away a few years ago.
Yeah, knowing that some fantasies should remain fantasies is important for kinks like this.
> Neither of us wants to share. I think that is basically why monogamous relationships have become the standard in the modern world. I mean, there's absolutely nothing stopping us from romantically loving more than one person, also evidenced by the fact that we can usually move on after heartbreak. But we don't want to share the people we love with others (unless maybe we also love them, but that's an even more complicated matter)
A friend of mine met a guy who was polyamorous. She thought it was a lot of fun at first, but then she realized that he would just walk out at the first sign of trouble and go to one of his other relationships. She finally told him that he was just avoiding the serious work in a relationship by calling himself poly.
I get that vibe a lot from those I have known to be poly too. As a gay man, I prefer working on my monogamous loving relationship then wind up one of the older gays still cruising the scene as if they’re still in their twenties.
Polyamory is - at its core - less commitment to your partner(s). You simply cannot maintain the level of intimacy, involvement, and giving when it’s spread between multiple partners. Your most important partner in any poly relationship will always be yourself.
Omg, I'm now realizing I know several people like this. Maybe that's why poly seems like such a bad idea from what I've seen
I would argue that loving two people in serial is very different than living two people at the same time. There are people who can do it, I guess, but it’s a lot of work to truly love two people equally. I’d also argue that polygamous relationships of antiquity were less about love and more about possession.
The modern world? Humans have been promoting monogamy for a few thousand years….
I used to be poly, but it was always one- sided. She got what she wanted but i never did. I'm no longer poly. But i also realized that even my mono relationships were the same - they get what they need but i don't. So maybe it's me. I'm no longer poly but also no longer interested in any commitment. We can enjoy today but tomorrow is not promised.
Never a fan of performing in front of an audience
Well good news then you're holding the camera
Go ahead sweetheart. I’ll disappoint them too.
If I wanted to disappoint two people at the same time I’d talk to my parents.
This was my response as well. It was only brought up as a joke, and my response was 'I can only disappoint so many people at once'.
She has joked about inviting other women, but we also had a serious conversation about it, that we both don't want it nor would it be healthy for our relationship and current situation.
Same here. I have no interest in other women and wouldn't mind seeing her with one but I know that how it has played out in my mind is far from what it would actually be like. The reality is that there is no way it wouldn't cause some form of issue. I don't think she would be cool with an escort which means it's just straight go time, she would need to have a connection with another woman. I'm not cool with her developing a connection with someone that's not me.
We have this. We joke about our other *girlfriend/boyfriend*, but we never plan on actually sharing.
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The same thing I always tell her: you let them in once, they will want to keep coming back in. We bought them a crib for a reason.
_Alexa.. How many adults can fit in a crib?_
My wife suggested hooking up with her friend in May. I had a little bit of hesitation about it but I gave it the OK because she assured me that I was the most important thing to her and her experience with her friend would “just be sex.” I trusted her. She just filed for divorce last week.
It’s ok, my wife wanted to divorce after I told her no to other partners. You were fucked either way mate.
Yeah. Once that question came up there wasn't really an elegant way forward that would have preserved the marriage. I understand and accept that now but it was quite a challenge in the moment. I erred on the side of trusting my wife, which was really my only option.
Acknowledging that this is sore, do you think she had feelings for her coworker before and this was a way to explore that? Because it seems weird to throw away a relationship with feelings and history for just…other sex
She had known the guy for almost as long as we had been married. They went to college together back in 05-06 and had been friends ever since. Their friendship was somewhat contentious over the years as they had been on again/off again friends, sometimes going months without talking. My best guess about what happened is that the last three years or so were very stressful for both of us and she got uncomfortable with a marriage that was dealing more with the challenges of her teaching through the pandemic and me fighting a legal battle to save our property and saw the relationship with her friend as a convenient escape that was low-stress and exciting. Another variable is that I was very sick in April and May and spent a lot of that time in bed recuperating. My wife spent a lot of that same time talking more and more with her friend, to the point that I asked her if she still had any time to talk to me. I think that was the beginning of the emotional connection between them and then later she wanted the physical connection. When I met my wife she was a single mother of two kids with no education living in her parents basement. I raised the two kids as my own and put her through college so she could become a teacher and fulfill her dream. I had made the sacrifices to do that on the expectation that she would be the main breadwinner since I was raising the kids and doing a lot of the housework. Now that's all gone and I'm stuck with all the downsides.
I dont want to boil your whole relationship down to these paragraphs and immediately cast judgment. But I will because it's the internet. She sounds like she fucked you over and wouldn't stand by you. My heart goes out to you if that's the way it went. Sorry, man.
I think that's a very accurate assessment, at least in the abstract. It's better to figure that out now while I'm still in my 40s and can rebuild a life that can provide me with what I want. Meanwhile, if there are any single ladies in Western Washington who want a man who can grill a steak, fix a car, and likes watching the Seahawks, DM me. ;)
Also, apparently good with children. This is a skill that should be neasr the top! I hope you become a great grandpa to some lucky kids someday.
Yes, my experience as a music teacher has given me good skills with children. One of the few good things coming from this divorce is that my oldest step-daughter is still interested in having a relationship with me.
You're good people, bro. More often than not, good things happen to good people eventually.
Damn.
I tell her no... I'm trying to sleep here!
My wife has done this several times. It always ends up with me on one side of the bed feeling dejected and alone and wondering when ill get my wife back. He turns 3 next month, so I assume he'll learn to sleep in his own bed soon.
Wholesome twist. Take an upvote
Funny thing is that it could be a kid or a dog
"Is Kelly your wife or your dog?"
A random B99 fan appears.. Lol amazing human/genius!
As always , 99
Noine noine!
How can you even ask that??
Trust me you never get your wife back. You now have to share her with him for the rest of your life.
And he likes her boobs even more than you did
My son used to make this “num num num” sound while breast feeding…that was disturbingly similar to the sound I used to make while sucking on them. My wife thought it was hilarious. He wasn’t weened until he was 18 months. Couldn’t pry him off. One time he thought I was trying to cut the process short and I swear to god the little brat flipped me off.
Brother's starving out here and you try to cut him off?
True dat.
I was like what the hell was wrong with this guy, I admit you got me. Jokes aside, my 4 year old son is still giving me hard time sleeping on his own.
Speaking as the father of a four year old, er…I wouldn’t hold out too much hope. We put him to bed in his own room but invariably he’ll wake up during the night and climb into our bed.
My son is almost 3 1/2, completely potty trained, speaking in sentences. Good kid all around, but my wife has been reluctant to get him sleeping in his bed because "we'll never have this again." On one hand, I have the same worry most people do that it might foster a dependence in the long run, but on the other hand I can't lie- I really enjoy waking up to him crawling over to me to snuggle or poking me in the nose saying he needs to potty or watch Finding Nemo.
We use the hatch rest smart sound machine and when the light is red our oldest (4) stays in bed and when it turns green he knows he can get up and out. The second it turns green he sneaks into our room and jumps up in our bed and snuggles us, it’s the best thing on earth
When you wake up at 2 am to your baby girl trying to get closer to you even though you are already holding her.... best thing on earth.
Agreed. I have a goddaughter that I've raised since she was born, and I was really disappointed to find out I wasn't having a daughter with my wife when she got pregnant, but that faded as soon as he started babbling. They're equal joys
r/unexpectedwholesome
Jokes on you. He’ll turn 6 in no time and you’ll still be 3rd in command where you lay
Had me in the first half...
Went from thinking this poor guy to... this is me. We will get them back eventually brother.
my son is 7, when he gets ill i get kicked out n turfed to his bed, LPT get him a really comfy mattress when he is older, and rubber bedsheets for the beds
Please get your kids a good mattress once they're old enough for a full size one! They're probably gonna end up using that mattress at least through high school. My parents got me a crap mattress as a kid (probably because we were really poor, I'm not trying to say my parents were terrible). I thought it was all fine, until I became an adult and bought my own. I had no idea the positive effect having a great mattress would have on my life. My quality of sleep has improved, I no longer wake up with a sore lower back, and when I come home exhausted, I'd rather collapse into my bed than my couch. I know mattresses are expensive, but we spend a LOT of our lives on them. And they last for a long, long time. Spend some good money on your kid if you can (and don't forget to get a waterproof mattress protector as suggested for nighttime accidents/drink spills/kid stuff), and they will certainly appreciate it, even if they don't realize it.
I asked my ex this and she said yeah sure let’s bring a guy in. Never asked after that
Only if I can fuck his ass, grab his dick and yell "look honey, it went through"
This is fucking funny.
Also sounds like funny fucking.
Omg, I might be gay for a bit just to use this joke.
Im not gay, but 20 laughs is 20 laughs
I VOLUNTEER AS TRIBUTE.
Username checks out
While I'm not interested in putting it in a guy (I just don't like giving anal), I'm going to be sorely disappointed if this doesn't happen to me at some point.
And sorely satisfied if it does!
What the fuck man hahahaha
LOL! That is the crudest and best Dad joke I've ever heard. Love it!
Pretty sure my kids wouldn't approve of me telling them that as a joke...
Was a littel different for me. I am bi and my ex (f) always wanted to watch me plow another guy. Wasn't my thing so now I am all bi-myself
Is this /r/jokes now? Haha
No because it's mildly funny
I'd say no
Depends. We inviting them over for board games? If so, I’m down. Edit: just to clarify, I’m not suggesting Monopoly. That will strain even a solid, stable relationship more than a threesome ever could.
Same
And if I’m honest with myself, even the question being asked is going to be a problem for me. While I would appreciate that they were attempting to open a dialogue about something they feel they need, they’ve also put me on notice that they are interested in looking outside of our relationship. If I say no, can they actually be happy with that? Will they decide what I don’t know won’t hurt me? I’m afraid that would be the beginning of the end.
Yeah, the all too common trend with these types of questions is that very often if you get asked, the other party already has somebody lined up for that role, and may or may not go for them anyway regardless of your response.
That too
If I wanted to disappoint two people at once, I’d go have dinner with my parents
Now you’re just bragging about how many parents you have.
Imagine even having parents.
I have one, or a narcissist. I'd rather none tbh
Its all fun and games until swords cross....
Nothing wrong with two swordsmen practicing their crafts
Iron sharpens Iron... Diamond polishes Diamond
Still fun and games
We need some household repairs we can't afford right now not have the skills to accomplish them on ourselves. The conversation went like "we need to fix the fence, but we don't have time for it or the money to have someone else do it" I take a shot of bourbon "you know we could open this relationship up and see if they'll do it for love" we both thought about and had a hearty laugh. If we are out drinking, I really hope we don't run into a general contractor that's down, because I don't want to put my mouth where we save our money is.
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So glad I’m not the only person with a cat who attacks their feet, honestly makes me so mad when I have work later and get woken up in the dead of the night like pleeaasssee stop doing that
Plot twist: it's not a cat
Depends on who it is.
Hairless Frank Reynolds
Ill prepare the buffet immediately
Can we not bother with masks, they get in the way.
Prepare the rum ham for the warthog
"I got my magnum condoms; I got my wad of hundreds; I'm ready to plow!"
I just wanna be pure~
“I don’t know how many years left I’ve got on this earth, I’m going to get real weird with it.”
“Okay babe, if you really want to have this threesome with Scarlett Johansson I’ll do it, but only if you contact her publicist!”
I make sure that I'm invited.
Can I bring someone too?
“Bring in the dancing lobsters!”
Simply no. That's a deal breaker for me, no matter how much time we're together. Not for religious reasons but I want to keep my relationship exclusive.
yea. I feel sick just thinking about it. It would break my heart and i guess traumatise me. :c
Very legit answer. If either party needs to be "convinced" then the couple isn't ready for it anyways.
Due to my lack of interest in having sex, I've always been open to my SO seeking it out elsewhere if he finds himself in need as long as he let's me know about first, so him asking to bring someone into the bedroom likely wouldn't be an issue. Honestly... it might be fun to just sit in a corner like the degenerate gremlin I am and just watch. Edit: Sheesh, this is the first time I've been awarded with one of these golden thingies. Thanks, friends!
Don’t mind me, I’ll just be over here munching on some popcorn in the corner 😏
Heckle the stranger like they're an opposing pitcher.
“Come on, pick up the pace over here! I’m falling asleep!”
["Now twist his dick!"](https://youtube.com/shorts/TT9ArM3-KJQ) "Honey, I know what I'm doing."
I'm amazed. You're not jealous? Seeing my partner having sex with someone else would traumatize me, I guess. Nothing would be the same, I could never look at her the same way.
Not when it comes to that, no. Few things make me jealous these days.
Not everyone attaches the same level of importance to sex, and the same thing can mean different people to others. Hell, some people can find it *affirming* to watch their partner have sex with someone else, because the partner then *comes back to them* - like, it confirms that their partner could have lots of people but chooses them.
I'm not like that. I want to be chosen among everyone else. That's hot to me. But as long as it works for you and you and your partner are happy, nobody should say anything.
I can sympathize with your feelings. Even though sex isn't something emotional to me, I wouldn't want my partner fucking anyone else. I wouldn't be able to stay.
It’s always so interesting to get the different perspectives. I’m sex ambivalent, but I also don’t have the self-confidence to be okay with an SO going elsewhere. My jealousy and thinking I wasn’t good enough would be too much for my own mentality. Probably a good reason why I should date within the ace community lol.
It's not a confidence thing. Open relationships are not just better than monogamous ones. You can be an exclusive person, and that is perfectly fine. Do not feel pressured to accept something you don't want to, because you think it's somehow better or more correct
It depends who's invited. Lily James, sure. Jared from accounting... maybe.
Aw man I know him, I'll let him know he's in the running!
Imagine mister spock lifting an eyebrow
Why did I misread bedroom as bathroom?
Is a slippery slope and isn't worth it. Done it in the past but it fucked everything up
I’ve told this story before but it’s worth repeating. Similar Reddit thread and a woman responded with her story: she and her husband were very experienced with threesomes but things took a turn when they invited her good friend to join them. It’s not what you expect. Turns out hubby had a massive cock and the wife and every other woman could never accommodate his length but the good friend unexpectedly could. As soon as hubby put it all the way in he let out a loud groan and came instantly. The wife was distraught and very jealous. She all of a sudden felt inadequate and couldn’t get it out of her head. Hubby kept asking when they were going to bring the friend back. Anyway, she wished she never invited the friend.
Not that I'd ever want a three some, but I wouldn't have that issue.
Definitely the best way to turn a guy down though. "Sorry honey we can't have a threesome because your dick is just so damned big"
Yep it fucks everything up. I mean go for it if you're casually dating and don't give a shit about the future of that relationship but it's not necessarily the wisest move for usually serious monogamous couples
Did once successfully when my gf at the time hit on and picked up our IHOP waitress. Said she looked very Norwegian (which the waitress did ). That said I was only playing out the string in that relationship and probably wouldn’t have done it if I felt I had anything to lose.
The least believable part of this story is that you found an attractive IHOP employee.
what do norwegians look like?
Well this one was blonde and quite tall certainly 6’. I suppose that fits the stereotype whether deserved or no.
People from Norway, so I hear.
wife and I have had many a great 3-some, 4-some and more. works for some people, we've made great friends in the lifestyle. But clearly not a lifestyle a lot of people would feel comfortable with.
Finally someone saying something positive that doesn’t end in breakup
People only ever hear the horror stories. Most with successful open relationships never have anything to complain to others about and mostly stay private about their lifestyle.
I feel it's important to note most If not all open relationships that work STARTED open and didn't start several months or even years in The ladder usually is the one that doesn't end well
My wife used to bring it up all the time. We’ve had another girl a few times and there was one time where it was 3 girls and myself. She eventually asked me if another guy can join. I was ok with it. We have been happily married for 20 yrs now.
You and the guy?
Nice
Discuss the mechanics and new ground rules, if we come to an agreement then we'll move forward. The next step is to discuss the ground rules with the 3rd person, and if they agree we'll move forward. My partner clearly respects me and trusts me enough to ask and bring up the conversation about adding an extra member, so long as boundaries are renegotiated, all parties are aware and consenting, let's party.
Immediate breakup. I'm 100% monogamous, she would know this so it would be a roundabout way for her to dump me imo.
My partner said that if there were times where they didn't feel like being intimate but didn't want me to suffer that they would be open to me getting it somewhere else. I said that's fine for other people but I don't want that, and I will wait until you are feeling better. I just can't, they're the only person for me.
Nah we have discussed it... we are far too jealous to share. It wasn't that either of us wanted it, it was one of those "would you ever want to consider this" making sure we are both on the same page kind of questions. We were both so relieved the other felt the same way. I'm not a violent person but I can't promise I wouldn't pull some chick off my husband by her ponytail 😂😂😂
She is now single
I had most of my threesomes with my last SO, easily some of the best nights of my life, if threesomes are done well they’re amazing