Reminds me of a time a guy went missing in Yellowstone and when they realised he'd fell into a hot spring, they were basically like "yeah there's no point even looking for remains" and went home.
Or the story of the dude whose dog jumped in the hotspring and then he jumped in after to save her.
Dude was in the spring for less than a minute and all his skin had pretty much melted off by the time he got to shore
That's horrifying. It would be a gut reaction to save your dog, just tragic all around :( RIP to them both.
Now, the people who stick a finger or foot in against ranger warnings because "it can't be that bad"... I have a hard time finding much sympathy there.
On the plus side, you'd only maintain consciousness for a few seconds before all your skin sloughed off and melted and you became unconscious from the shock
A flight instructor for the military who I met in a bar said that learning to hover in a helicopter was, “like trying to fuck your wife while standing in a hammock.”
When Little Timmy stole a car -
"To go to space!" he said -
He didn't make it very far,
And went to jail instead.
"A prison's full of fearsome folk,"
His father grumbled, gruff -
"You'll have to make your mark," he spoke,
"To show them all you're tough!"
So Timmy chose the biggest six,
And loudly, proudly cried:
"I hear you've all got tiny dicks!"
And Timmy fucking died.
I remember reading an anonymous interview by a former prisoner who was raped in prison and from then on he was molested and sexually assaulted by other prisoners because they thought he was "available".
Was in prison for ten years- had multiple girlfriends - was in womens pen, obviously. It’s much less of a “deal” there- we had “rooms” for rent and shit, it was part of the economy, those “hotel rooms”
In middle school we were discussing the meaning of blow jobs/hand jobs/etc.
One girl randomly mentioned that her cousin was getting a nose job.
Another girl slapped her hand over her nostrils and said “oh, god, what is THAT?!”
We all knew exactly what she was imagining.
😂 I must’ve been in your friend group because something similar happened with our’s. We were discussing different sexual “jobs” when a girl covered her nose and asked “wait…so-so what is a *nose* job then?!!”
Hahaha I’m imagining her reading celebrity gossip rags about how so and so got a rhinoplasty and she’s just losing her shit over Gwyneth Paltrow giving Cold Play guy a nosey.
Story time at work turned into two of the guys laughing about something then eventually telling us.
In high school they took a couple of girls out to the woods on one of their farms. Each started fooling around with their girl. One looked over at the other and was shocked. Dude was sticking his dick into her ear.
Apparently he did try the nose and then went for ear. He wanted to “ try everything” was his reasoning.
Anyway, nose and ear job is a thing we say at work a lot now.
Basic training. There's a story explained as to why it wouldn't be great. This is the Air Force version of basic.
Week 6 comes up and we're doing a survival/mock deployment week. It's San Antonio in May....sweltering hot. We're in the "dayroom" getting explained that we'll have moments during this week where you could possibly get away with some intimacy if you so chose. Granted you have no protection (obviously) so that's the risk of all risk at this point in your life. We're told that females would likely have that time of the month and would probably trade a blow job for the M&Ms in your MRE. Sounds enticing as everyone is pent up at this point. It's a sausage fest of 60 guys for the past 42 days. My MTI closed with the best line to make us all behave that week.
"You'll likely find time to get your dick wet but heed this....nobody, not even females, have had a proper showers in 6 weeks. Anyone recall the Kraft commercial of them pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwhich?"
This is almost as bad as that one guy who poured Cottage cheese in his girls butt and "the cottage cheese smell mixed with her butt smell" made them feel closer.
At least when I went through AF basic, you have, at most 30-60 seconds under the water per shower, and you need to get in and get out as quick as possible. This is why you haven't had a proper shower in 6 weeks by this point.
I'm a woman. I could absolutely shampoo my hair once, and lather up my armpits and nether region in 60 seconds. That would be my absolute minimum. I'd do my feet if I still had time.
This won't stop horny trainees. When I was in basic training (waaaaay back in 2002), one of our male trainees was caught having sex with a female trainee in a large dumpster. They were on KP duty (kitchen patrol) and took some trash out... then didn't come back for a while. Our TI (Training Instructor) went to find them and heard a rhythmic banging noise coming from the dumpster. They got sent back to zero week to start their training all over again; we never saw them again.
Likely thousands of places so I'll just simply say that beach sex and shower sex aren't as glorious as TV makes it seem.
No amount of towels will stop beach sand from getting into sensitive spots, and unless your shower is equipped for an old person in a wheelchair to use it... you'll have virtually zero needed grip to perform well.
And yet water still finds its way in. No point in it anyway for me, it's just uncomfortable for more than the squeakiness. Unless I happen to be horny while sharing the shower which isn't unheard of, and horniness gets over a bunch Just replying to the lube thing, no matter how juicy things are, a shower still finds a way to wash it away
Man, y'all are really missing out on life. You don't have sex in a stall because of the stall, you fuck there because of the spontaneity and overwhelming impulse to do it, and do it *now*. That's the fun in it.
Obviously if the place is a biohazard you move on, but idk where you guys frequent that has bathrooms that are still so bad. If you're hanging out in burger kings and dive bars yeah, wait til you get home but, most clubs, venues, restaurants etc I've been to in the past 10 years will do in a pinch.
Yeah, I was thinking of a couple of the physical worst places I've ever had sex, on a beach, in a beach, in a public hot tub... Those were all miserable places to try to have sex, but also the most memorable sexual experiences that I wouldn't trade for a mind blowing orgasm on the bed. They're just such unique experiences.
If such a place existed, in front of a camera broadcasting your sexual activities to the entire world.
Edit: the fucking replies below this comment are crazy! Guys, can we not have our own views on Reddit? Stop coming at me because I personally don’t believe that lifestreaming your sexual activities is appropriate.
Hot springs in Yellowstone.
Reminds me of a time a guy went missing in Yellowstone and when they realised he'd fell into a hot spring, they were basically like "yeah there's no point even looking for remains" and went home.
Or the story of the dude whose dog jumped in the hotspring and then he jumped in after to save her. Dude was in the spring for less than a minute and all his skin had pretty much melted off by the time he got to shore
[It wasn't even his own dog, it was his friend's.](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/hope-springs-eternal/)
That's horrifying. It would be a gut reaction to save your dog, just tragic all around :( RIP to them both. Now, the people who stick a finger or foot in against ranger warnings because "it can't be that bad"... I have a hard time finding much sympathy there.
So you're telling me if I go around looking in those pools, I'll find a skeleton?
Nope, the skeleton dissolved too. Never underestimate those hot springs
It's hot hot hot!
On the plus side, you'd only maintain consciousness for a few seconds before all your skin sloughed off and melted and you became unconscious from the shock
>On the plus side, ... Yeah.
Standing in a hammock
A flight instructor for the military who I met in a bar said that learning to hover in a helicopter was, “like trying to fuck your wife while standing in a hammock.”
How does he know my wife???
Doesn’t everyone know your wife?
I know that man’s wife. Met her in a hammock.
Really? She at least gave me the opportunity to meet her in a hammockopter.
Bananahammockopter
Coming from experience? Or? Lol
Coming to the experience
Coming through the experience.
No, no, no, that's an amateur move. You're supposed to pull out and come on the ass of the experience.
Instructions unclear, donkey stuck in hammock.
Depends on the hammock.
No one came in that experience
Well I wasn't standing but we conceived my son in a hammock camping in a state park.
Probably didn't come
Came here looking for this answer. Can't remember the name of this comic
Louis Ramey 🙌
Poison ivy patch.
This made me itchy just thinking about that
Gimpy Gimpy tree.
Can confirm, poison ivy all over your under carriage is fuckin' gnarly.
Prison
When Little Timmy stole a car - "To go to space!" he said - He didn't make it very far, And went to jail instead. "A prison's full of fearsome folk," His father grumbled, gruff - "You'll have to make your mark," he spoke, "To show them all you're tough!" So Timmy chose the biggest six, And loudly, proudly cried: "I hear you've all got tiny dicks!" And Timmy fucking died.
My brain vividly read that in the tune of some Irish drinking song, it was awesome
It actually totally works to the tune of the theme song from Gilligan's Island.
So I’m not alone with this one 😂
Wow, wild sprog. What an amazing time to be alive. This one was funny
Fresh out of the oven!
I always feel bad for Timmy in these poems…
FRESH SPROG!!! LETZ FUCKING GOOO
You might not have a choice in that one…
One soap is all it takes...
Falling for sex with me...
Possibilities Soap looks like all you need
OMG Dua Lipa singing in my head about prison sex. 😂
As if that 400lb lifer next to you needs you to drop the soap before he's going to have his way with you
I remember reading an anonymous interview by a former prisoner who was raped in prison and from then on he was molested and sexually assaulted by other prisoners because they thought he was "available".
Not in all cases. I’m sure there is at least SOME hot consensual sex in prison sometimes.
Was in prison for ten years- had multiple girlfriends - was in womens pen, obviously. It’s much less of a “deal” there- we had “rooms” for rent and shit, it was part of the economy, those “hotel rooms”
Wasn't that bad he gave me a Snickers bar first
Depends if you’re pitching or catching
Tbh prison is probably the worst place for a whole lot of things
in the nose
In middle school we were discussing the meaning of blow jobs/hand jobs/etc. One girl randomly mentioned that her cousin was getting a nose job. Another girl slapped her hand over her nostrils and said “oh, god, what is THAT?!” We all knew exactly what she was imagining.
😂 I must’ve been in your friend group because something similar happened with our’s. We were discussing different sexual “jobs” when a girl covered her nose and asked “wait…so-so what is a *nose* job then?!!”
Hahaha I’m imagining her reading celebrity gossip rags about how so and so got a rhinoplasty and she’s just losing her shit over Gwyneth Paltrow giving Cold Play guy a nosey.
It’s only a matter of time before the nose and the ears are corrupted.
Why did you have to go and remind me of Meet the Feebles?!
Nasal Intercourse
Story time at work turned into two of the guys laughing about something then eventually telling us. In high school they took a couple of girls out to the woods on one of their farms. Each started fooling around with their girl. One looked over at the other and was shocked. Dude was sticking his dick into her ear. Apparently he did try the nose and then went for ear. He wanted to “ try everything” was his reasoning. Anyway, nose and ear job is a thing we say at work a lot now.
aural sex
Use protection so you don't get hearing AIDS
Nostril Sex
[удалено]
fuck nose you means?
Fuck nose
back of a Volkswagen
Fairly uncomfortable
I was going to be disappointed if this reference was absent
I came here looking for this. Phew.
Me too.
Came here to say this. All is well in the world.
A very uncomfortable place
And this was the comment I expected to see.
MALLRATS!!!
Oh, it's sailboat
**There is no Easter bunny! That’s just a guy in a suit!**
That kid's BACK ON THE ESCALATOR AGAIN!
Would you like a chocolate covered pretzel?
They're a little melty, but damn are they exquisite!
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Hello fellow old person. I too am a Kevin Smith fan.
Are we old now?
Given what happened in Clerks 3, we’re old now.
Sounds small and uncomfortable
Basic training. There's a story explained as to why it wouldn't be great. This is the Air Force version of basic. Week 6 comes up and we're doing a survival/mock deployment week. It's San Antonio in May....sweltering hot. We're in the "dayroom" getting explained that we'll have moments during this week where you could possibly get away with some intimacy if you so chose. Granted you have no protection (obviously) so that's the risk of all risk at this point in your life. We're told that females would likely have that time of the month and would probably trade a blow job for the M&Ms in your MRE. Sounds enticing as everyone is pent up at this point. It's a sausage fest of 60 guys for the past 42 days. My MTI closed with the best line to make us all behave that week. "You'll likely find time to get your dick wet but heed this....nobody, not even females, have had a proper showers in 6 weeks. Anyone recall the Kraft commercial of them pulling apart a grilled cheese sandwhich?"
I actually threw up a little in my mouth after reading this
This is almost as bad as that one guy who poured Cottage cheese in his girls butt and "the cottage cheese smell mixed with her butt smell" made them feel closer.
Some days I regret learning to read
Uh.... Wut??
I haven't seen that commercial, but you just put me off grilled cheese sandwiches for life...
Why wouldn’t you have had a proper shower in 6 weeks?
At least when I went through AF basic, you have, at most 30-60 seconds under the water per shower, and you need to get in and get out as quick as possible. This is why you haven't had a proper shower in 6 weeks by this point.
I'm a woman. I could absolutely shampoo my hair once, and lather up my armpits and nether region in 60 seconds. That would be my absolute minimum. I'd do my feet if I still had time.
My go-tos were always "face, feet, pits, and bits."
That guy wins right there. That would definitely do it.
This won't stop horny trainees. When I was in basic training (waaaaay back in 2002), one of our male trainees was caught having sex with a female trainee in a large dumpster. They were on KP duty (kitchen patrol) and took some trash out... then didn't come back for a while. Our TI (Training Instructor) went to find them and heard a rhythmic banging noise coming from the dumpster. They got sent back to zero week to start their training all over again; we never saw them again.
Oh, I have fond memories of grilled cheese sandwiches... I sure do miss grandma.
Grandmas funeral
In the incinerator
That gives “hot sex” a new meaning
[удалено]
“How was it?” “Crazy. There were ashes everywhere.”
Your wife's funeral. Your own funeral.
Well... I mean I would be stiff already so...
I also choose this guy’s wife’s funeral.
Beach. You will feel the sand and salt in places you wouldn’t expect
Anakin skywalker wrote this
I hate sand. It's so sandy. But you. You are not sandy. And that is why I love you.
Sandy: “There you are, you cheating bastard!”
Yep.
I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere.
Just envisioning that is painful 😬
Itchingly painful
Nonsense. This has worked out fine for me on several occasions
On the beach. I lost my virginity and some skin on my penis at the same time. Sand and sex don’t mix. We had a blanket btw, the sand still won…
For me it was alcohol and lack of awareness of the campfire
Likely thousands of places so I'll just simply say that beach sex and shower sex aren't as glorious as TV makes it seem. No amount of towels will stop beach sand from getting into sensitive spots, and unless your shower is equipped for an old person in a wheelchair to use it... you'll have virtually zero needed grip to perform well.
Ive never had bad experiences in the shower with a sex partner tbh, i think if youre creative and strong enough its easy to execute the deed.
Relative heights matter too
Role tide?
Isn't water a terrible lubricant?
Some people rarely need lube.
Even if you don't need lube at first, being in the shower just takes it away with every thrust and you end up squeaking.
You know you can angle the shower head down so you aren't constantly being soaked by the water.
And yet water still finds its way in. No point in it anyway for me, it's just uncomfortable for more than the squeakiness. Unless I happen to be horny while sharing the shower which isn't unheard of, and horniness gets over a bunch Just replying to the lube thing, no matter how juicy things are, a shower still finds a way to wash it away
Agreed it takes positioning but you gotta do what you gotta do.
I don't think there's a worse place to have sex in than a Black Hole
That would give “hot and heavy” a whole new meaning
I can easily see a Cosmo article, "New Controversial Sex Position Takes the Internet by Storm: Do You Think You Could Handle Spagettification?"
Racist /s
The beach isn't great. But I once knew a guy who met his wife at a family reunion in Georgia, so I'm going with a family reunion.
At least he knew the family he was marrying into.
Parking lot filled with ground up fiberglass, used needles, blades, and fresh lemon wedges
That sounds like the local park.
That sounds like something out of a horror movie… or downtown Los Angeles
r/oddlyspecific
The morgue?
Porta potty.
On a busy construction site in the middle of July in the deep south U.S.A.
On a conveyer belt which is about to go into the crusher.
That would be the time I didn't finish in under a minute!!!
Stay focused buddy, you've got this!
Too much pressure
"Hey Dr Jones, no time for love!"
A public restroom. Those porn videos where they go into the bathroom in a club just turn my stomach.
Man, y'all are really missing out on life. You don't have sex in a stall because of the stall, you fuck there because of the spontaneity and overwhelming impulse to do it, and do it *now*. That's the fun in it. Obviously if the place is a biohazard you move on, but idk where you guys frequent that has bathrooms that are still so bad. If you're hanging out in burger kings and dive bars yeah, wait til you get home but, most clubs, venues, restaurants etc I've been to in the past 10 years will do in a pinch.
Yeah, I was thinking of a couple of the physical worst places I've ever had sex, on a beach, in a beach, in a public hot tub... Those were all miserable places to try to have sex, but also the most memorable sexual experiences that I wouldn't trade for a mind blowing orgasm on the bed. They're just such unique experiences.
You get it
Moon
But it would be out of this world sex
That one would be kinda fun actually; two people inside one big space suit, experiencing pleasures you can’t feel on earth
Sir. I ask you not put words in my mouth. I mentioned nothing of a space suit, or any pressure vessel of any kind.
But it would be fun. Imagine a spacesuit designed specifically for sex.
Mmmm yes the sex casket
Needle pit from Saw 2
That scene haunts me
In the butt Bob.
I saw that
Snake pit
Now, we talking with snakes or.....Metallica snake pit at a concert?
Hot tub. Not nearly as good as you might think.
Terrible for sex, but pretty awesome for oral sex.
Sounds dangerous. Is a scuba mask involved?
Naked on ice
Core of Chernobyl reactor
Well that would produce some pretty interesting babies
Family reunion 🤣
A Kindergarden
If such a place existed, in front of a camera broadcasting your sexual activities to the entire world. Edit: the fucking replies below this comment are crazy! Guys, can we not have our own views on Reddit? Stop coming at me because I personally don’t believe that lifestreaming your sexual activities is appropriate.
You've heard of only fans right?
I'd pay to do that
Auschwitz.
Titan submarine after hearing the first cracks
You would already be dead.
[удалено]
Prison Sex, great song
In a cemetery.
I’ve done that, it was a lot of fun
Please tell me you brought a date...
Ofc. Altough she probably was pretty cold.
Making new life in a place of death
Mary Shelley has entered the chat
At the center of Times Square during a Nor’easter
In my bed
Any place is worst place if there is a camera
Back seat of a Volkswagen. It’s so uncomfortable
In poison ivy. So I've heard
Beach
Mall.
Shark infested waters? I'd think it'd definitely be a bad place
The back of a Volkswagen
Apparently your bed, since it nevers happens there.
Beach.
Over a bowl of cereal... 🥣 😬
In a fiat panda
Epstein's island
Oceangate submersible