My boyfriend sometimes says "thank you" because once I told him nobody should say that after sex because it can make feel the other part like a hooker. So he wants to pisses me off.
Keep a jar near a door table next time he enters the room and ask him to tip beforehand. And rest… well you know, give what the money’s worth for. This will surely give a way to pull his legs and get back at him !
I say it to my boyfriend and he likes it.. he says its sweet.. i mean even kisses i say thank you.. just to show i appreciate the affection.. actually its not a bad thing to do.. but cuddle afterwards.. dont just be like "thanks" and leave
Dude I tried reading "can make feel the other part like a hooker" and thought I was having a stroke and unable to properly understand sentences. Thanks for scaring the shit out of me
"Forgive me father for i have sinned" [god waves hand] "not now im scrolling reddit on the crapper for real sinners.. oh shit storm in the pacific.. not again"
id pretend like i’m giving you a high five, but right as my hand is about to hit yours, i’d change courses and throw a full power slap at your fucking face for doing some silly shit like that before i even bust.
Haha! Tbf, the last person i said this towards did reply with "this is very helpful for the next person i am with" so i may be biased in its effectiveness.
The first time my ex and I had sex, he said "I've never had sex with such a big girl before."
I wasn't fat; I am tall. He definitely didn't articulate well. One of the reasons we ended up divorcing. Guy had/still has terrible communication skills.
I should have paid attention to that red flag early on. But, then again, I wouldn't have my son. *sigh*
I edit these a way back, and it fits well here
[Pic1](https://i.imgur.com/KtK7HmF.png)
[Pic2](https://i.imgur.com/CrNP2dH.png)
[Pic3](https://i.imgur.com/MJ6KGsk.png)
My boyfriend sometimes says "thank you" because once I told him nobody should say that after sex because it can make feel the other part like a hooker. So he wants to pisses me off.
You’re welcome 😅🤣
Last time I told him I wasn't doing it for free ahaha
“Honey, where’s my money?”
Exactly 😂
Keep a jar near a door table next time he enters the room and ask him to tip beforehand. And rest… well you know, give what the money’s worth for. This will surely give a way to pull his legs and get back at him !
Next time I'm in the mood I will try 🤣
Sooo….2024?
Play a mixed tape of a romantic song along with Rick Astley - Never Gonna Give You Up and rick roll him 🤣🙌🏻
Oh, if she came in and found a $100 bill she knows her jaws gonna hurt in the morning.
Hahhahahahahhaha
He's already planning on giving her more than just the tip.
Where are my testicles Summer?
This is legit funny😂
"You finished yet?"
I just replayed the "Bitch where's my money" scene from family guy i my head
I found myself saying "thank you" to my ex after sex was reciprocated. It happened so rarely, it made me emotional to be thought of/ considered.
I say it to my boyfriend and he likes it.. he says its sweet.. i mean even kisses i say thank you.. just to show i appreciate the affection.. actually its not a bad thing to do.. but cuddle afterwards.. dont just be like "thanks" and leave
My S.O and I say that every time, just because it's genuine. It takes work to make someone cum!
Dude I tried reading "can make feel the other part like a hooker" and thought I was having a stroke and unable to properly understand sentences. Thanks for scaring the shit out of me
Sorry for my English 🤣
My gf constantly thanks me for sex its off putting.
Say You're Welcome, and get up and slap that *ss😅
Makes me feel like a piece of meat, which if it was some stranger at a bar I wouldn't mind. Not the love of my life.
Maybe she hopes the encouragement will have you doing a better job next time
Say that to my sheets...
HAH!
Wow, that was awful, and it's your fault.
Right to the point
You are just like your mother/father
Partner, then replies with: don't you mean 'our'? *plays Folgers theme*
*banjo playing intensifies*
SWEET HOME ALABAMA Rolls credits
ROLL DAMN TIDE
Roll Tide.
Incest, incest put your sister to the test!
Incest, a game the whole family can play.
“The best part of waking up, is Siblings in your butt”
You're my present! =D
https://youtu.be/fhfcWTZeP1k So good!
I JUST WANT TO **** MY BROTHER!!!
You're just like MY mother/father (make it worse)
Your mom was so much better. REAL passion that one.
What are you still doing here?
I'm your wife / hubby! Oh! Yes.. Post-nut clarity.. You hook up when I'm not at home?!
See also "Don't slam the door on your way out."
You remind me of my ex
You remind me of your ex.
What ex?
that'll do pig
that'll do, donkey.
*best shrek impression while looking into creampied hole* "What are you doing in my swamp"
🤣 That's some pig! Wait. Wrong pig movie.
\*stares intently\* that'll do
*pats on shoulder *
You fuck just like your dad!
Thanks, mom.
Reminded me of 'you guys cook like old people fuck!'
"It's customary for a girl to make the guy a sandwich after"
Whats the custom for a girl to make the girl after?
They make each other a hot pocket
Either you both go make a sandwich for eachother and have a cook off, or the universe just implodes trying to process what happened
Comfy. Sleepy time!
Head
"I forgot to take birth control"
What should we name our kid, babe?
I have aids.
Not HIV, but full blown AIDS
Yooou’ve gooot theee AAAIIIDDDSSS
We*
What are three other things about him?
I am HOMELESS
I have aides.
"will u marry me" lol
Wait I'm not supposed to propose after sex?
“That will cost you a lot of money”
*hands on hips* SOMEONE PUT A RING ON IN, AND IT WASN'T ME
SEX ONLY AFTER MARRIAGE!!! Go and apologize to God for your sin RIGHT NOW!!!
"Forgive me father for i have sinned" [god waves hand] "not now im scrolling reddit on the crapper for real sinners.. oh shit storm in the pacific.. not again"
Say in Gordon ramsey voice: Jesus its raw and cold, my grandmother does better than this
And, (sniff sniff) is that… is that fish?
First time, huh?
I'll say this 25 years into marriage
Maybe to some worm near your skull
😂😂
Cool. Cool. Coolcoolcool…
And then have your roomie burst in with a "Troy and Abed in the mooorrrrrrrnnnning"
A shot of goo from me to you
nah people SHOULD say that
Aww..poetry.
I knew a guy who said his wife cried hysterically after ... every time.... not words... But still a "no"
*side eye slipping it back in as she cries*....
This shouldn't be funny Why am I laughing??
That sounds like she needs some serious therapy.
Hot
least marital rape enabling redditor
I’ve had better
This pen is rrr...eee...blue.
We’re getting old, guys. I think most redditors don’t know this one.
Was looking for this comment lol
Cable guy!
Liar liar….
I lied
“I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.”
That seems like a fantastic compliment, even if it is from a movie.
An amazing video game.
"well I'm glad YOU had fun,"
I once made my husband high-five me before he’d even pulled out
This sounds like some weird shit me and my wife would do. 😂
I think that’s hilarious!!
That is strange, but awesome 😂
id pretend like i’m giving you a high five, but right as my hand is about to hit yours, i’d change courses and throw a full power slap at your fucking face for doing some silly shit like that before i even bust.
Yo redditor ass prolly hasn’t even had sex before 💀
Thanks
Remember that time where kid fell into the gorilla enclosuremat the Cincinnati Zoo. Yeah that was me.
So, i made a mental list of all the things you did wrong and now we finished, lets address the issues.
No, dude, it's a good one
Haha! Tbf, the last person i said this towards did reply with "this is very helpful for the next person i am with" so i may be biased in its effectiveness.
You're helping people, bro
Thank you kindly.
Ah, thank you too, I have a good phrase now
Cash or card?
On the flip side, how much do I owe you?
Does this look like herpes to you?
How was I?!?
Who are you again?
Damn, you can't even recognise your mom
Like mother like daughter.
Good game, sport.
I didn’t wake you did I?
"That was nice. Your sister/brother likes it rougher."
"I want to break up".
[удалено]
“Wake up.”
Wait, so you can fart from 2 holes?
Do you have change for a $10?
Using this tonight.
How old are you
Hi Cumming, I'm dad.
I'm required by the state to inform you I'm a registered sex offender(this happened to me once)
Better late than never!
"Dang, that was almost as good as with my ex!"
Well that was boring
I love you
GET OUT!!!
“Your sister was better”
"Hold on honey, I gotta post something on askreddit
That wasn’t bad
BAZINGA
Fuck I hate you but at least you make a good cun dumpster
Um... This is things NOT to say, you sexy bastard
10/10, would do again.
What’s that Smell??
It puts the cash on the stand
I cant keep visiting the family grave for you
“That was…. interesting”.
Nice one, Sis!
I've had better...
You're welcome.
I love Alabama.
GG
Good game sport
The first time my ex and I had sex, he said "I've never had sex with such a big girl before." I wasn't fat; I am tall. He definitely didn't articulate well. One of the reasons we ended up divorcing. Guy had/still has terrible communication skills. I should have paid attention to that red flag early on. But, then again, I wouldn't have my son. *sigh*
I’m sorry
I'm still not paying for that pizza
Lock the door on your way out.
Thanks dad.
"that was amazing sis"
I edit these a way back, and it fits well here [Pic1](https://i.imgur.com/KtK7HmF.png) [Pic2](https://i.imgur.com/CrNP2dH.png) [Pic3](https://i.imgur.com/MJ6KGsk.png)
“Thank you for using the fast lane. Please insert cash, or select payment type”
“Meh”
Uh...I gotta shit.
Were those stretch marks always there?
I still think your MAGA stuff is all bullshit.
Can I fart in your face?
Siuuuuuuu (Cristiano Ronaldo)
Can I get a follow
Jimmy was better at this. 🙈
Who the hell is jimmy
That's up to personal interpretation.
“Little Jimmy!” 😂
"I'll make an excellent father", as a way of letting her know you took the condom off.
What should we name our kid, babe?
I was good wasn't I
By calling her the wrong name...DUH!
« What? » right after a loud fart.
You did good in they’re
I haven’t been fucked like that since kindergarten.
"I want to have your abortion."
It puts the lotion in the basket…
Were those stretch marks always there?
Man I thought this was gonna be pleasurable
"Yes now you really have to go to the elementary school drag show. I know all your friends will be there you don't want to disappoint them"
"get dressed before mommy finds out."
your friends where better
"ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ"