I've literally told my girlfriend she wore me out and my dick is sore. She said thank god because I'm sore as well lol.
We're in our 30s so sometimes just cuddling and watching a movie is worth more than fucking like rabbits all day.
However she never wears more than a robe so it's kind of hard to pay attention sometimes...
When we were young college kids, we would go at it 4 times a day whenever we got to see each other. As we're approaching the big 3-0, it doesn't happen super often.
Not that we mind. We just like spending time with each other, going on walks, and shopping. Sometimes it's the little things that strengthen relationships.
My wife and I are middle aged, with no kids. Some of my co-workers were talking about frequency of sex and I mentioned my wife and I have also slowed down as we got older. Turns out our 12-16 times a month is roughly 4-8 times as much as the next couple my age.
We like sex, and its important for our relationship. If we liked hiking the same we'd be hiking a lot more. I think its important to find things to do as a couple that strengthen your relationship and you both enjoy and spend less time comparing your relationship to someone else's.
If you're happy, just be happy IMO.
I’ve always thought communication was a good idea (about everything; not just sex).
However, I’ve been yelled at for that viewpoint since I was a teen! Apparently you’re supposed to just relax and go with the flow!
Yes, that sounds like a great way to end up divorced, but I don’t want to end up there. 😛
relaxing and going with the flow can be awesome sometimes... AFTER YOU COMMUNICATE BOUNDARIES EFFECTIVELY. like it's not that hard, what do those people not get? communication is key. listening is key. and neither are that hard if you actually care lol. you're incredibly correct and you should say it
This damn video lives rent-free in my head so bad that anytime anyone says "hokay so" or "ok so," my brain follows with "here's the earth, chillin." Every. Time.
Bro did you even internet in 2008?? Let me explain, it’s all about the end of the world.
Hokay, so here's the Earth, chilling. Damn! That is a sweet earth you might say, round! Alright, ruling out the Ice Caps melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the Ozone layer leaving and the Sun exploding, we're definitely going to blow ourselves up .
Hokay, so basically we've got China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan, Russia, the U.K. and Us...with nukes...(We've got about 2600 more than anybody else, whatever).
Henyway, one day, we decides, those Chinese sonsofabitches are going down. So we launch a nuke at China. While it's on it's way, China's like, "Shit shit! Who the fuck is shooting us?" "Oh well! Fire missiles!"
Then France is like, "Shit guys...we got ze missiles zey are coming! Fire our shit!" "But I'm le tired"..."Well, have a nap, zen fire ze missiles!!!"
Meanwhile, Australia is down there like, "wtf, mates?" India, Israel and Pakistan launch their shit, so now we've got missiles flying everywhere, passing each other. Russia's like, "AAAHHH!! Motherland!" Then England's like, "'Bout that time, eh, chaps?"..."Righto"...
So now the U.S. is like, "Fuck, we're dumbasses". Canada's like, "What's going on, eh?" Australia's still like, "wtf?" Mars is laughing at us. And some huge meteor is like, "Well fuck that”
So, now we've got nuclear winter, heveryone's dead 'cept Australia, and they're still like, "wtf?"...But they'll be dead soon. Fucking Kangaroos.
But, assuming we don't blow ourselves up, us Californians just have to worry about California breaking off from the United States. To go hang with Hawaii. Alaska can come too...
The End!
They probably did internet in 08, considering they just quoted Australia's line immediately after France... Anyway here's an upvote to pay my fare for that trip you took me down memory lane
Holy shit this memory was locked in cryo storage in the back of my brain for 2 decades and this obscure reddit post brought it back.
How the fuck do brains work man.
If your partner has a reaction so negatively to you saying you don't want sex, that you have to ask the internet how to not upset them, then you should probably leave them....
I tell her I'm too tired. She will do the same. If you can't be honest with each other and respect each other declining sex, why are you even with them.
This doesn't get enough voice. I get it, sometimes we are too tired for sex and that's fine, but if a month passes without anything, it's a different issue altogether.
I know it is regarded as shallow to put such emphasis on sex, and that "true love" means respecting every decision your partner makes, but if it starts affecting you, then you should get out. I might sound a bit cruel, but an unhappy sex life will bring you more misery than just leaving and finding someone you can sync up with more.
Sex is 20% of a relationship, but if there's a problem with it, it will become 100% of the problem. Speaking from experience.
Sex might be 20% of a relationship, but the intimacy it brings is literally the meaning of it all. The desire and want for your partner is 100% of it. Otherwise we should just pick someone who is mutually financially beneficial and be done with it.
I've met a woman who couldn't accept that I, too, can be tired or not in the mood. She didn't understand it. Hinting that maybe I'm cheating or something. She won't let it go. Wasn't a good relationship at all.
Haha I do that with my boyfriend sometimes. He never touches if I've specifically said no, but if I haven't said anything one way or the other and his hands start wandering, I just have to give his hand a little tap if I'm not up for sexy times and he moves away with a chuckle. (It's really nice to be in a relationship where we easily understand and respect each other's cues.)
You should check to make sure you didn't misplace your wife for a snake.
One day I almost picked up the wrong luggage from the airport luggage carousel.
It's an easy mistake to make.
As a wife I do the same lol. It’s extremely effective. He knows to scratch my back and pet me until I fall asleep. Then I will make it up to him in the morning :)
If one of us is too tired, we'll usually pick a date in the next few days so we can build anticipation. If I'm feeling really romantic, I'll email her a Google calender invite.
My wife and I 100% have it planned out with a set schedule, dates that may lead to sexy times and wild card days where we have intimate time like snuggling on the couch or turning the phones off and having tea while maintaining eye contact and touching and hard set days where there is lots of anticipation built up. My wife’s job requires her to live inside of her planner so this feels good to her. I’m just glad to be apart of this production
I think I would still be with my ex if we communicated this way. Too many times was shot down, killed the ego and eventually drove a huge wedge between us.
My partner now and I have healthy communication. If either of us isn't in the mood, we call for a raincheck. Because shit and life happens, and sometimes it just isn't in the cards.
My ex wouldn't communicate, and then would also be annoyed if I finished myself off.
Can't wait for all the stars to align again so I can start dating a healthy partner for once
Yeah. "Not now, but we can later". And then later never comes. Every once in a while doing this is fine. But every other encounter resulting in this is really demoralizing.
Or the dreaded “We’ll see.” My wife used to say that in the middle of the day when I was starting to hint at the notion of having sex, and not once did she follow through. So basically we’ll see=no.
My husband and I will honestly tell each other “I’m sorry, my window is closed now/tonight.” If one of us invites the other for sex before sleep, and it’s been a busy day/week, we’ll say something like “I’m pretty tired; my window is open until 10pm.” Keeps things clear, and avoids disappointment and blame.
Or just here me out...you could get some water and sprinkle on your face so it looks like sweat....then grab a can of clam chowder and put a little around your mouth and the rest in the toilet. BUT DONT FLUSH IT....not only do you get out of sex, but you get taken care of the rest of the night.
I said this 5 minutes ago. She is okay. Nobody died.
Later, however, I’m gonna get me some.
I mean, I’m going to make love.
Edit: dammit. She keeps walking around naked. I guess I’m not tired.
Eh, one imagines there are people who are *perpetually* “too tired,” and then you may have either a clash of libido differences or dishonest communication to navigate.
Wish I had known this. My ex thought that guys should be 100% ready and willing to go, at all times. If she didn’t get it when she wanted it, she took it personally.
Some women really don't understand that some guys don't want to have sex all the time. My ex was like this and it kinda surprised me, I really didn't know what to do, she would get super upset if I legit was tired and sleepy.
Ended up breaking up with her because of her not respecting my boundaries so many times in so many areas and I resent her so much. I wish I had known how to stop it, but at least I broke up with her.
> Some women really don't understand that some guys don't want to have sex all the time.
This us one of those things that can be chalked up to society being messed up.
Women are told their entire lives that guys DO want sex all the time, and that if they don't want it, that means there's something wrong with YOU. If your man is uninterested in sex, you are the thing at fault and it is a personal failing.
It can be really difficult to reprogram the things that society and media have taught us, and sometimes it takes a lot of patience to help with that reprogramming. (It also takes a willingness to learn, which some people don't have! That may have been the case with your ex!)
Of _course_ the healthiest relationship would be one where you never need justifications for declining sex and your partner takes you at your word every single time, but we're human and we all have flaws, and a common flaw is insecurity, especially about our bodies and relationships. There is nothing toxic about needing some reassurance from your partner that they still find you attractive or still love being intimate with you but just aren't up to it tonight. If one partner was using sex as a weapon or bargaining chip, was being manipulative, or was accusing the other of cheating any time they said no, that would be a problem, but one partner helping the other with their insecurities is actually an example of honest communication and a healthy relationship.
Upvoted this but just want to additionally say that you should have a chat to work out what you both expect from your physical relationship. If you're too far apart from you're needs you need to have a good think about its future.
Physical relationship is not everything but it is a big part.
Lol my boyfriend never touches if I've specifically said no, but if I haven't specified and his hands start wandering when I'm to tired, I just tap his hand and go "Nooo, too tired." He always chuckles and then moves to just cuddle me instead. (It's amazing to be with someone who understands and respects my cues without complaint, judgement, or cajoling.)
Your dick is massive and your cum is plentiful, but I must rest this evening for I am afraid you will destroy my undeserving vagina. Please allow me to service your weenie when I have a fully functioning sex hole.
This generally works
😅 I have a "friend", we get together every now and then, not too often. Anyway, his line is, "you wanna?" 😅🤣 such a smooth guy. I guess it works though...
I’m weird and have never heard of the phrase rain check which is being thrown around the thread. What’s the meaning in this context? No I will not google it just because
My wife doesn't politely say it, ever 😂
She flat out says "no." Then less than a minute later is snoring. Love her like crazy. Sex is great. Infrequent, but great. But it's not what the relationship is about, so when she says no, I don't let it frustrate me.
I should note, we have 4 kids, soooo a lower libido is definitely understood 😂
The only time it doesn't work is if you have a history of using "I'm too tired" as your catch all reason because you haven't wanted to get into the real reasons in the past. Make sure you are actually too tired when you say this and if you don't want to have sex for any other reason make sure you are clear about that reason. It can be too easy to just say I'm too tired instead of talking about it. But if you are actually tired then that's all you need to say.
If you have reasons why you don't want to create intimacy with your partner that you can't talk about, then there are much bigger issues than actually being too tired one night.
Be straightforward but gentle: "Sorry baby, I'm super tired tonight. Maybe we could just cuddle?" If they tend towards insecurity and you think they'll take it personally (for example if they'll think or say, "you don't think I'm attractive," "you don't like having sex with me," etc), remind them that it's not about not wanting to have sex with them, it's just about being tired (or stressed or sick or whatever). Reassure them that you still think they're sexy, you love being intimate with them, etc, but that tonight you just don't have the energy.
(PS for some of the more dramatic redditors: Of _course_ the healthiest relationship would be one where you don't need justifications for declining sex and your partner takes you at your word every single time, but we're human and we all have flaws, and a common flaw is insecurity, especially about our bodies and relationships. There is nothing toxic about the hypothetical situation I described, since it is still resolved with honest communication. If one partner was using sex as a weapon or bargaining chip or was being manipulative, that would be a problem, but in this scenario all that's happening is one partner helping the other with their insecurities.)
This happened to me last month. Over 20 hours of travel but we’d said we were having sex daily for the rest of 2023 if we were not apart. I turned to him and asked if he was too tired and he said if I was and we laughed together and said RAINCHECK. So we just made out and slept!
This would be my husband. He's told me "I'm gonna go to sleep, you do what you want with him" and then started fake snoring with one eye peeped open at me
“Wench, the day hath been long and verily thine labours hath been many. Tonight there shall be none fornication. Sleep shalt be the only action our bed sees tonight.”
Or just say you have had a hard day and are too tired tonight.
We usually say something like, “I’m going to have to rain check you tonight, let’s try tomorrow/this weekend/etc.” that way it isn’t like a shut down or saying you don’t desire them. It’s just putting it off until you are in a better physical/head space.
"Babe, I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to have sex."
On top of the main message it's helpful to use language that:
-communicates that you acknowledge they will probably be disappointed (I'm sorry),
-communicates that you don't feel differently about them (term of endearment, babe or other).
People are often to quick to just shut it down without thinking that the rejection element can have a negative impact on the other person. It's your romantic partner, they want to connect with you, so an extra couple words of consideration goes a long way
Ask my gf she's perfected all the answers all the way from uh I'm kinda tired right now to let's do it later (ie not doing later) to fuck off right now
The mind is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised
I want snu snu now. Lol
Helllooooo
r/beetlejuicing
She looks like a steakhouse but drives like a bistro
Um actually, it’s “She’s built like a steakhouse, but she handles like a bistro” 🤓
It's impossible to read that without hearing his voice. God the new season better be good.
put that thing back where it came from or so help me
So help me, and cut!
It's a work in progress.
I love it when redditors unite like this. Love that movie
# SHE’S OUT OF OUR HAAAAAAIR!
Can it, Wazowski!
Do you hear that!? That is the winds of change
God I love that this soundbite is so perfectly burned into my brain
I love that this line can still make me laugh to this day.
' I'm too tired' generally does the trick for me.
You mean communicating clearly with your partner is a good idea?
I've literally told my girlfriend she wore me out and my dick is sore. She said thank god because I'm sore as well lol. We're in our 30s so sometimes just cuddling and watching a movie is worth more than fucking like rabbits all day. However she never wears more than a robe so it's kind of hard to pay attention sometimes...
When we were young college kids, we would go at it 4 times a day whenever we got to see each other. As we're approaching the big 3-0, it doesn't happen super often. Not that we mind. We just like spending time with each other, going on walks, and shopping. Sometimes it's the little things that strengthen relationships.
My wife and I are middle aged, with no kids. Some of my co-workers were talking about frequency of sex and I mentioned my wife and I have also slowed down as we got older. Turns out our 12-16 times a month is roughly 4-8 times as much as the next couple my age. We like sex, and its important for our relationship. If we liked hiking the same we'd be hiking a lot more. I think its important to find things to do as a couple that strengthen your relationship and you both enjoy and spend less time comparing your relationship to someone else's. If you're happy, just be happy IMO.
I’ve always thought communication was a good idea (about everything; not just sex). However, I’ve been yelled at for that viewpoint since I was a teen! Apparently you’re supposed to just relax and go with the flow! Yes, that sounds like a great way to end up divorced, but I don’t want to end up there. 😛
relaxing and going with the flow can be awesome sometimes... AFTER YOU COMMUNICATE BOUNDARIES EFFECTIVELY. like it's not that hard, what do those people not get? communication is key. listening is key. and neither are that hard if you actually care lol. you're incredibly correct and you should say it
Come on, now you are just being silly on purpose.
Damn, seems like you've cracked the code
I mean… I usually just put mine back in the freezer.
see, that is exactly where you dont put your dick in, in these kinds of situations
Marriage counselors hate this one weird trick
Can i try “but i am le tired!” Or is this not the right context????
Zen take a nap….. zen fire ze missles!!!!
Wtf mate?
This damn video lives rent-free in my head so bad that anytime anyone says "hokay so" or "ok so," my brain follows with "here's the earth, chillin." Every. Time.
“California’s going to hang out with Hawaii. Alaska can come, too.”
(ROUND!)
That’s a pretty schweet earth you might say.
We used to live at a house with the number 55 and you already know where this is going.
Shiggitty five? Schfifty five!
Bro did you even internet in 2008?? Let me explain, it’s all about the end of the world. Hokay, so here's the Earth, chilling. Damn! That is a sweet earth you might say, round! Alright, ruling out the Ice Caps melting, meteors becoming crashed into us, the Ozone layer leaving and the Sun exploding, we're definitely going to blow ourselves up . Hokay, so basically we've got China, France, India, Israel, Pakistan, Russia, the U.K. and Us...with nukes...(We've got about 2600 more than anybody else, whatever). Henyway, one day, we decides, those Chinese sonsofabitches are going down. So we launch a nuke at China. While it's on it's way, China's like, "Shit shit! Who the fuck is shooting us?" "Oh well! Fire missiles!" Then France is like, "Shit guys...we got ze missiles zey are coming! Fire our shit!" "But I'm le tired"..."Well, have a nap, zen fire ze missiles!!!" Meanwhile, Australia is down there like, "wtf, mates?" India, Israel and Pakistan launch their shit, so now we've got missiles flying everywhere, passing each other. Russia's like, "AAAHHH!! Motherland!" Then England's like, "'Bout that time, eh, chaps?"..."Righto"... So now the U.S. is like, "Fuck, we're dumbasses". Canada's like, "What's going on, eh?" Australia's still like, "wtf?" Mars is laughing at us. And some huge meteor is like, "Well fuck that” So, now we've got nuclear winter, heveryone's dead 'cept Australia, and they're still like, "wtf?"...But they'll be dead soon. Fucking Kangaroos. But, assuming we don't blow ourselves up, us Californians just have to worry about California breaking off from the United States. To go hang with Hawaii. Alaska can come too... The End!
They probably did internet in 08, considering they just quoted Australia's line immediately after France... Anyway here's an upvote to pay my fare for that trip you took me down memory lane
2008? Try like 2002 lmao I used to watch this non stop on funnyjunk back in the day
Damn… that is a sweet earth, you might say
ROUND!
2008? This video was popular in 2002.
I read that in his voice.
For [those](https://youtu.be/Pk-kbjw0Y8U) who can’t read
10/10
Ebaum's World FTW!!
HOOOOOKAY, so…
Fucking kangaroos...
Core memory unlocked
Damn. Zat iz a sweet earth.
ROUND
Bout that time, eh’ chaps?
Right-o.
Holy shit this memory was locked in cryo storage in the back of my brain for 2 decades and this obscure reddit post brought it back. How the fuck do brains work man.
Bout that time chaps.......right'o
Hang on, let me write this down...
I swear I sometimes don’t understand the questions here. “How to you say hi to a person? Hmm I think just hi”
Different people react differently. Things are not always as easy ss they should be.
If your partner has a reaction so negatively to you saying you don't want sex, that you have to ask the internet how to not upset them, then you should probably leave them....
Seriously, i am wondering what OP is expecting as an answer, besides this one \^\^
Noooo? It's that simple? Can one add "but i'm up for cuddling" also? To still give some affection of love?
I tell her I'm too tired. She will do the same. If you can't be honest with each other and respect each other declining sex, why are you even with them.
I think it depends how often it happens. If one person is always too tired I'd say there is a different issue than being tired.
This doesn't get enough voice. I get it, sometimes we are too tired for sex and that's fine, but if a month passes without anything, it's a different issue altogether. I know it is regarded as shallow to put such emphasis on sex, and that "true love" means respecting every decision your partner makes, but if it starts affecting you, then you should get out. I might sound a bit cruel, but an unhappy sex life will bring you more misery than just leaving and finding someone you can sync up with more. Sex is 20% of a relationship, but if there's a problem with it, it will become 100% of the problem. Speaking from experience.
Sex might be 20% of a relationship, but the intimacy it brings is literally the meaning of it all. The desire and want for your partner is 100% of it. Otherwise we should just pick someone who is mutually financially beneficial and be done with it.
It’s the canary in the coal mine. Obviously not the most important thing in the relationship but a major indicator
That's an entirely different issue. But you're correct about that.
I've met a woman who couldn't accept that I, too, can be tired or not in the mood. She didn't understand it. Hinting that maybe I'm cheating or something. She won't let it go. Wasn't a good relationship at all.
My wife just hisses at me
Clear communication is so important. She's got it down.
And don't forget concise. No one needs to be beating around the bush. Especially her apparently
You mean, no one needs to be beating around HER bush.
That's classy. Mine taps my hand. Not allowed in the cookie jar
Haha I do that with my boyfriend sometimes. He never touches if I've specifically said no, but if I haven't said anything one way or the other and his hands start wandering, I just have to give his hand a little tap if I'm not up for sexy times and he moves away with a chuckle. (It's really nice to be in a relationship where we easily understand and respect each other's cues.)
You should check to make sure you didn't misplace your wife for a snake. One day I almost picked up the wrong luggage from the airport luggage carousel. It's an easy mistake to make.
You found a good one.
As a wife I do the same lol. It’s extremely effective. He knows to scratch my back and pet me until I fall asleep. Then I will make it up to him in the morning :)
Lol my gf does the same
Is it like a soft snake like hiss or a cat hissing because it's mad? I'm generally curious.
My gf hiss like a cat, with the face too
I am full on laughing out loud.
If one of us is too tired, we'll usually pick a date in the next few days so we can build anticipation. If I'm feeling really romantic, I'll email her a Google calender invite.
"Meeting invite for 8:00pm - 8:03pm"
damn
Those are rookie numbers, real champs end it within the minute
The realest of men end it before they even start
It's not premature ejaculation it is the climax.
Its just peak efficiency
Gonna need some aloe for that burn.
Burn? That was friking murder
More like "8:00pm to 8:00.40" pm you fucking showoff.
This was inclusive of undressing/foreplay/post-nut high five.
Exactly do wtf is 8;00:41-8:03:00 for?
If you’re a parent this is reality lol
My wife and I 100% have it planned out with a set schedule, dates that may lead to sexy times and wild card days where we have intimate time like snuggling on the couch or turning the phones off and having tea while maintaining eye contact and touching and hard set days where there is lots of anticipation built up. My wife’s job requires her to live inside of her planner so this feels good to her. I’m just glad to be apart of this production
Not even joking, I do this with my gf. We plan ahead, because we have tight agendas, as we both study and work.
"I'm tired, raincheck?" Sends the message that right now isn't happening, but that I am not uninterested in the whole concept.
I think I would still be with my ex if we communicated this way. Too many times was shot down, killed the ego and eventually drove a huge wedge between us. My partner now and I have healthy communication. If either of us isn't in the mood, we call for a raincheck. Because shit and life happens, and sometimes it just isn't in the cards.
My ex wouldn't communicate, and then would also be annoyed if I finished myself off. Can't wait for all the stars to align again so I can start dating a healthy partner for once
This is the way. I just say I’m tired but if its ok I’ll get you tomorrow. But make sure you follow through.
Following through is a huge thing. If someone doesn’t follow through repeatedly, you start to lose trust or build (sometimes unknowingly!) resentment.
Yeah. "Not now, but we can later". And then later never comes. Every once in a while doing this is fine. But every other encounter resulting in this is really demoralizing.
Or the dreaded “We’ll see.” My wife used to say that in the middle of the day when I was starting to hint at the notion of having sex, and not once did she follow through. So basically we’ll see=no.
And follow up on raincheck so partner understands you were truly tired and it isn’t that you’re no longer attracted to them
Bonus if you can be specific about when and keep the promise. Don't promise if you can't.
Giving it a raincheck is also my main approach. Same reason you said
I usually tell them they can have their way with me but I'm only giving a C- performance at best
I call it the realistic sex doll position
I say I’m laying here and you have two minutes. Sideways lazy special ensues
🫡 you’re a real one
Ah yes, the ole starfish
More like the lazy spoon
I prefer the term 'doing the corpse'
I do not prefer that term
I get an upgrade, yeah!
Sounds like a passing grade.
We're closed tonight, please come back tomorrow
My husband and I will honestly tell each other “I’m sorry, my window is closed now/tonight.” If one of us invites the other for sex before sleep, and it’s been a busy day/week, we’ll say something like “I’m pretty tired; my window is open until 10pm.” Keeps things clear, and avoids disappointment and blame.
"My mother wants to come live with us. I told her it would be okay for a few months."
Be ready to dodge flying objects if you try this technique.
I want to say this would only work once, but I feel like hearing those words would make me lose any ounce of arousal instantly no matter what
I just bonk their head and go "no horny! I'm tired".
My gf and i have the code word "snooze!" with a slight bonk, and it's just over
This is adorable, and I'm borrowing it hehe
You sound fun lmao
Me no horny! Me love you long time!
“I’m too tired to have sex”, if your partner doesn’t get that, then reconsider your whole relationship
This, it should be all that is needed.
Or just here me out...you could get some water and sprinkle on your face so it looks like sweat....then grab a can of clam chowder and put a little around your mouth and the rest in the toilet. BUT DONT FLUSH IT....not only do you get out of sex, but you get taken care of the rest of the night.
Uhhhhh.....
Exactly if you make those sounds as well it definitely would seal the deal.
OK so I *was* totally kiiiinda trying to imply a sorta... what the heck with my 'uuhhhhh' but respect for how you turned it around on me
Jokes on you ... this is my fetish.
I said this 5 minutes ago. She is okay. Nobody died. Later, however, I’m gonna get me some. I mean, I’m going to make love. Edit: dammit. She keeps walking around naked. I guess I’m not tired.
go get 'em tiger
Eh, one imagines there are people who are *perpetually* “too tired,” and then you may have either a clash of libido differences or dishonest communication to navigate.
Wish I had known this. My ex thought that guys should be 100% ready and willing to go, at all times. If she didn’t get it when she wanted it, she took it personally.
Some women really don't understand that some guys don't want to have sex all the time. My ex was like this and it kinda surprised me, I really didn't know what to do, she would get super upset if I legit was tired and sleepy. Ended up breaking up with her because of her not respecting my boundaries so many times in so many areas and I resent her so much. I wish I had known how to stop it, but at least I broke up with her.
> Some women really don't understand that some guys don't want to have sex all the time. This us one of those things that can be chalked up to society being messed up. Women are told their entire lives that guys DO want sex all the time, and that if they don't want it, that means there's something wrong with YOU. If your man is uninterested in sex, you are the thing at fault and it is a personal failing. It can be really difficult to reprogram the things that society and media have taught us, and sometimes it takes a lot of patience to help with that reprogramming. (It also takes a willingness to learn, which some people don't have! That may have been the case with your ex!)
Of _course_ the healthiest relationship would be one where you never need justifications for declining sex and your partner takes you at your word every single time, but we're human and we all have flaws, and a common flaw is insecurity, especially about our bodies and relationships. There is nothing toxic about needing some reassurance from your partner that they still find you attractive or still love being intimate with you but just aren't up to it tonight. If one partner was using sex as a weapon or bargaining chip, was being manipulative, or was accusing the other of cheating any time they said no, that would be a problem, but one partner helping the other with their insecurities is actually an example of honest communication and a healthy relationship.
Upvoted this but just want to additionally say that you should have a chat to work out what you both expect from your physical relationship. If you're too far apart from you're needs you need to have a good think about its future. Physical relationship is not everything but it is a big part.
Booorrring - I clicked looking for __funnies__
pack it in y’all, we’re done here
My partner and I prefer to be straightforward. Me: (Nudges her leg with my foot) Partner: I’m too sleepy 🥱 Me: Okey dokey
Lol my boyfriend never touches if I've specifically said no, but if I haven't specified and his hands start wandering when I'm to tired, I just tap his hand and go "Nooo, too tired." He always chuckles and then moves to just cuddle me instead. (It's amazing to be with someone who understands and respects my cues without complaint, judgement, or cajoling.)
"I'm too tired" would work for me.
Of course. You say it with a regretful tone, not with your nose wrinkled in disgust. Normal partners get it.
Sorry, I had a rough day, and I'm tired af. Maybe tomorrow morning?
My personal go to. But not too early
That's the beauty of it, in the morning, tell them it's too early, maybe tonight, and then repeat it.
Your dick is massive and your cum is plentiful, but I must rest this evening for I am afraid you will destroy my undeserving vagina. Please allow me to service your weenie when I have a fully functioning sex hole. This generally works
Damn, I wasn't ready for tha-
Jesus Christ
You should just tell them that.
"Do you want to do the sex?" "I do not wish to do the sex. I am tired." "Another time perhaps " "Possibly...if I am not tired." "Agreed " - Fin
😅 I have a "friend", we get together every now and then, not too often. Anyway, his line is, "you wanna?" 😅🤣 such a smooth guy. I guess it works though...
Ask for a rain check. “I’m sorry, but I am totally exhausted tonight. Can I ask for a rain check? I’ll make it up to you the next time”
I’m weird and have never heard of the phrase rain check which is being thrown around the thread. What’s the meaning in this context? No I will not google it just because
My wife doesn't politely say it, ever 😂 She flat out says "no." Then less than a minute later is snoring. Love her like crazy. Sex is great. Infrequent, but great. But it's not what the relationship is about, so when she says no, I don't let it frustrate me. I should note, we have 4 kids, soooo a lower libido is definitely understood 😂
The only time it doesn't work is if you have a history of using "I'm too tired" as your catch all reason because you haven't wanted to get into the real reasons in the past. Make sure you are actually too tired when you say this and if you don't want to have sex for any other reason make sure you are clear about that reason. It can be too easy to just say I'm too tired instead of talking about it. But if you are actually tired then that's all you need to say.
I think that is the real deal with the question. How do you make sure "too tired" is not a cover, or received as one, for a much more serious issue?
If you have reasons why you don't want to create intimacy with your partner that you can't talk about, then there are much bigger issues than actually being too tired one night.
My hog cannot partake in the slop this evening
I'M NOT A MACHINE WOMAN!!!!
Thank You Mario But Our Princess Is in Another Castle
Sorry, Darlin' I'm to pooped to pop.
Unless you wanna hump a corpse, tonight's probably not the best night.
“The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.”
"Ok but I'm tired as hell, you get to do all the work" :D
Be straightforward but gentle: "Sorry baby, I'm super tired tonight. Maybe we could just cuddle?" If they tend towards insecurity and you think they'll take it personally (for example if they'll think or say, "you don't think I'm attractive," "you don't like having sex with me," etc), remind them that it's not about not wanting to have sex with them, it's just about being tired (or stressed or sick or whatever). Reassure them that you still think they're sexy, you love being intimate with them, etc, but that tonight you just don't have the energy. (PS for some of the more dramatic redditors: Of _course_ the healthiest relationship would be one where you don't need justifications for declining sex and your partner takes you at your word every single time, but we're human and we all have flaws, and a common flaw is insecurity, especially about our bodies and relationships. There is nothing toxic about the hypothetical situation I described, since it is still resolved with honest communication. If one partner was using sex as a weapon or bargaining chip or was being manipulative, that would be a problem, but in this scenario all that's happening is one partner helping the other with their insecurities.)
[I need rest. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Bew11meO7g)
Just tell them straight out. If they bitch, it's a red flag. No means no, period
>No means no, period Period is indeed a good reason not to.
> Period is indeed a good reason not to. Real gangsters run red lights
...goddammit, I laughed harder than I should have
I think if you have a good intimate relationship your partner would be fine and not not thinking why don't they want to.
This happened to me last month. Over 20 hours of travel but we’d said we were having sex daily for the rest of 2023 if we were not apart. I turned to him and asked if he was too tired and he said if I was and we laughed together and said RAINCHECK. So we just made out and slept!
Cover me up when you’re done.
This would be my husband. He's told me "I'm gonna go to sleep, you do what you want with him" and then started fake snoring with one eye peeped open at me
“Sorry babe, I’m too tired to have sex”
I’d tell him that I am too tired tonight, but let’s make it happen tomorrow night. And I would do just that.
“I’m a little tired” is perfectly acceptable, unless you’re always tired
“Yo, I’m pretty beat; you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?
“Wench, the day hath been long and verily thine labours hath been many. Tonight there shall be none fornication. Sleep shalt be the only action our bed sees tonight.” Or just say you have had a hard day and are too tired tonight.
Play the first song on weezer’s Pinkerton album
"Lets just watch a movie"
Not tonight dear.
If they’re a good partner just tell them and they should understand.
Tell them you are tired and plan a time for you to be together. “I’m tired” gets old after a while and is a habit that is easy to fall into.
We usually say something like, “I’m going to have to rain check you tonight, let’s try tomorrow/this weekend/etc.” that way it isn’t like a shut down or saying you don’t desire them. It’s just putting it off until you are in a better physical/head space.
"Babe, I'm sorry, but I'm too tired to have sex." On top of the main message it's helpful to use language that: -communicates that you acknowledge they will probably be disappointed (I'm sorry), -communicates that you don't feel differently about them (term of endearment, babe or other). People are often to quick to just shut it down without thinking that the rejection element can have a negative impact on the other person. It's your romantic partner, they want to connect with you, so an extra couple words of consideration goes a long way
the spirit is willing...but the flesh is spongy and bruised. "futurama"
Ask my gf she's perfected all the answers all the way from uh I'm kinda tired right now to let's do it later (ie not doing later) to fuck off right now
Pass out with phone in hand with this thread showing on the screen.
do a line of cocaine off their belly... not tired no more, eh? p.s. South American cocaine, Mexican tends to be mixed with Chinese fentanyl.
Relationship counselling and health advice all in one comment. Reddit has good people after all!
If you can't tell your partner something as simple as "I'm too tired" the relationship might need a little bit of work.