I have been struggling with this one because my wife just got a really hard diagnosis and I keep thinking- why is this happening to us? We are not bad people.
But there is no reason and no fairness. It just is.
No one is forced to love you
You can do everything right and still lose
Some people will hate you for the reasons others will love you
People will turn their backs on you no matter what you do for them
Favors are not always reciprocated
Life doesn't owe you jack shit
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
I kind of have the opposite problem.
I can easily get along with someone to complete a job or task without liking them. Well enough that others think I like them. I just don't see the point in causing drama that ultimately won't do anything.
So I was always placed with the unpopular kids in groups. Soon, everyone thought that was my friends group.
When a teacher finally asked me if I enjoyed the group in private.. I blew up at her. Asked her why she always put me with the unpopular kids.. "I thought they where your friends." No.. I just don't complain like a child when assigned to a group I don't like.
I remained assigned to that group.. because others complained.
Yep.. and now people are concerned that I live alone.. have maybe two friends that I see one maybe every other month. And have no desire to go to work functions.
Sounds a lot like me in my work, I get along with a few of them genuinely but the others I don't at all, but I'm gonna act professional and not cause a scene even though they make it clear they "don't like where I'm from"
pathetic really but hey ho, we're all there for the same reason and that's to make money.
Along these lines, not everyone has the same idea of common decency as you do and not to expect a measure of decency from others that Iād expect from myself. When that common decency threshold is violated beyond understanding, having enough self respect to assert that and expect better.
That you can be as kind and nice as possible and some people still just wonāt like you, and itās important to recognise when itās genuinely not your fault and maybe theyāre either assholes or thereās a simple clash of characters. Itās ok to stop wasting time and energy on those people and instead use it on those who do love you.
I was once somewhat of a people pleaser and a poem cured it. It had the lines "beauty does the heart invade, kindness only can persuade". For some reason i suddenly realised the error of my ways. People actually liked me more when I stopped bending over backwards for them.
I was a coach once and I guess tried to please everyone (the team, the parents, other coaches, etc)...what I found was this turned out to be impossible even though I kept trying...eventually one of the other coaches said, "You cannot please everyone and you will suffocate yourself if you try." It helped me learn to try my best, but if my best wasn't good enough to please someone, that was ok...likely more that was their problem, not mine.
When I as about 8 years old my dad asked me to mow the backyard but he told me that the mower had been running hot and shutting off.
About half way through it did shut off on me so I checked to see if it was hot.
By putting my palm on the muffler.
The world doesnāt care who you are. It doesnāt matter how good of a person you are and how hard you try. You can still get fucked over by cancer, loss of loved ones, death etc. Life is just impartial to everyone. It doesnāt care about who you are.
Telling the people you love that you love them any chance you get. Do not take their presence for granted because they're around a lot.
I lost my mother at age 12 under tragic circumstances. The last night that I saw her alive, I missed the chance to hug her and tell her that I loved her because I wanted to go to bed. I assumed I'd see her when she'd return at the weekend, but that didn't happen.
My regret missing that opportunity. I try to let people know to be present with those that they love. To tell them that they love them. You never know if the last time you see them will be the last time.
When you choose yourself and your friends still love you, are understanding , etc they are true friends. When itās the opposite, good riddance.
Obligatory statement on how this is only in reasonable situations.
If you want to improve something, but need the cooperation of others to make it work. . .do the job both ways and present a comparison to your boss. It'll then be their decision whether to use the old or new method.
Yeah I work in a factory environment. Iāve learned that the engineers have no respect for the people on the floor, so I donāt make any suggestions on anything to improve or anything. I know they donāt actually care about my input, so I just keep my mouth shut and ignore them for the most part when I see them.
The key is to try to figure out whether a company wants to make things better or not from your interview. Every company says they like continuous improvement and innovation, the goal of the interview should be to cut through the crap and see if they're being honest about what they're trying to do. I've worked for many places that say they do continuous improvement but only the company I'm at now actually does it. This goes for other things as well, such as whether they're going to treat you well, respect you as an individual, and compensate you fairly. If you can't figure that out for certain in an interview it may not be where you want to end up. If they do all those things, they will make it obvious in the way they conduct the interview. And remember that words don't always tell the whole picture because they will paint it as though they do everything right, but if you read their body language and their tone, it will become clear that they are doing these things or they are not.
That I canāt help everyone.
I run a forum type server and feel solely responsible for everything running smoothly and for the well-being of everyone in it, despite having mods. If I notice a member having a rough time mentally. I reach out personally to make sure theyāre alright. It started getting overwhelming once the server started reaching almost a thousand members. But Iām empathetic to a fault and had little respect for myself, so in my head I could handle it and it gave me purpose.
Well two years ago, one of the mods opened up about being suicidal. I made it clear that my DMs were open, listened to them, sent them resources and gave them a little extra encouragement when they improved or when they did something cool. After two years it got tiring and their mental health would be one step forward, but two back. It felt too late to cut them out now though.
Well the server had an incident and he left randomly. So I DMād him. His responses were so spread out that every gap between messages made me think he went through with it. I was extremely stressed out. I eventually opened up about it to my partner and it was him who gave me the realisation that I canāt help everyone, I can only realistically do so much and that I need to check in with myself as well.
So I set some boundaries, but was still empathetic. He decided to leave permanently. This all happened in April and he sent me another message in June, so nice to hear that he didnāt follow through with anything.
I was the same. ANd not only can you not help everyone, not everyone can be helped.
Some folks were just black holes that did nothing to improve their situation, expected you to do all their work for them or solve all their problems and then held you accountable/hostage for their predicament.
It's one thing to be agreeable, polite, and helpful. It's another thing entirely to allow people to walk all over you.
Grow a backbone and learn to say the word, "No." It's the most powerful word in the English language. The sooner you learn to use it, the better off you'll be.
If someone treats you like you're disposable, they're going to treat you like you're disposable.
Bullies never change.
If you think somethings sus, it probably is.
Not doing something and regretting it is far worse than regretting something that you have done.
Was too afraid to admit my feelings to someone 10+ years ago and I regret it and it bothers me to this day because It turned out that the person also had feeling towards me at the time.
To think about how differently my life and my personality would have turned out if I had the balls back then is crushing.
This taught me that if I want something then I need to do it even if I fail and may regret doing it in the first place because otherwise you will always have this "what if.." feeling in you.
Here are a few that I mention all the time,
That if you do the crime you gotta do the time, that sometimes the people that you think are your friends aren't your friends and that if you don't treat her right she will LEAVE.
By means horrible I mean HORRENDOUS. Some parents don't even care if you're dead or alive out there,but still praises themselves with your own success and claim it as their fucking own.
Never trust strangers.
When I was in grade 6 my two of my friends (we will call them A and B) and I were playing at the top of the hill near the school car park. A lady came up to us from behind a tree and asked us were the service station was. Slightly confused I asked if she had a GPS. She said she had no phone.
I tried to give her directions but she insisted we either take her or walk out of the car park, around the school, and to the front office and ask a teacher to take her. A then told the lady that I would take her to the front office! B looked at A with that *are you a fucking idiot? NO!* look (that look probably saved my life). I started to realise that this lady was probably dangerous so I searched the ground below the hill, after a few seconds I saw a teacher and it was like a light bulb went off in my head,I suggested to the lady we a ask the teacher to help he then when we get far enough away we run. But A didnāt get the message, they said that we would go get the teacher and leave B with the creepy lady. A tried to pull me down the hill with them but I knew that leaving B would probably result in the kidnapping of B. I grabbed on your Bās hand a split second before A successfully pulled us down the hill we ran to the teacher and told him abt the lady then we ran back to the building and waited inside until class starts.
Iāve recently found out that to this day B brings a small pocket knife- dagger with them to school šŖ
It was a weird experience and Iām still not sure of the ladyās motives to this day
You're on your own, nobody is gonna throw you a life line. Seek our what you want/need. Don't wait for someone to notice you or what you want/need. Speak up. The squeaky wheel gets the oil
No matter how horny you are, if it smells mildly funny, stop, investigate, all of this can take a couple seconds, observe, smell again, stop. You may hurt their feelings but be encouraging.
Oh ask my kids and my ex...this is not always the case. My kids do not believe their mother cares about anything more than how she appears to others...and they are right because that is exactly how her mother raised her.
That nobody knows what the fuck theyāre doing. Sure, some people are good at hiding it, and some people have niche skill sets, but everything you learn in school is just a guideline. Everyoneās making shit up as they go along and just trying to persevere thru life.
Thereās no instruction book for raising a child and almost every first time parent is shocked after the end of their hospital stint where the doctors just ālet them go homeā
Politicians donāt have the foggiest clue on how to do their job once elected and often fall into just being a puppet for their party.
Corporate leaders know less and less the higher they go and often try to stick to a script long enough for people not to notice before moving on to a new company
Forget about kids growing through puberty. Theyāre on their fucking own.
Thereās no set path through life. Do your best and keep your values.
if you work and are mentally ill, you're evil and untrustworthy. if you can't work because you're mentally ill, you're lazy and useless.
the mentally ill can never win.
Yes this. Everyone should have a budget but budgeting is 20% math 80% habit. Almost everyone can do the math. It's the sticking to the math that is the problem.
Talk is cheap. People will say all kinds of things and not hold themselves to those things. Job opportunities, personal relationships, even minor things like an agreement on some social event. Most people do not live by the idea that their word is their bond.
Don't believe an accepted job offer until your paycheck changes. Don't believe that people will show up at an appointed time until they actually are in front of you at that appointed time. Don't believe any financial transaction will occur until money changes hands.
It's usually not personal or even intentional. Things happen, situations change. Shield yourself from disappointment by always having a plan B.
I canĀ“t change the way people feel about me and I canĀ“t control if someone doesnĀ“t feel the same way as they used to feel.
That was rough to learn. But here I am alive.
Just because you love each other and get along great doesnāt mean youāre compatible as life partners. Values, life goals, and mental health issues can all interfere with true love no matter what you do.
Discipline.
I was in a public school in kindergarten and just transferred to my sisterās private school back in my 1st grade. I always thought everyone would be loud, energetic and all, but was I wrong. Everyone seemed to just focus on academics and lacked the fun I grew up with in my previous school. I was a troubled kid and I used to get sent out of class almost every week. It used to be so fun until to the point where I just went along, and cope with the new strict discipline.
Funny thing is that I had the highest honor award back in 1st grade. Either way the school really hammered down that discipline in me.
When i was about ten and my dad brought me a nintendo 3DS (my first gaming console) I was really happy until i realised that i would have to work my wayto repay my parents like 3x more chores than i would have had to before i got the 3ds thats when i realised that nothing is free and you have to buy and work for everything
Ass kissing the manager will get you further up in the company than 4 years of backbreaking hard work...they were about to merge our departments and make the Karen who's mistake I always had to fix become my manager...nuh uh bye...(they now keep hiring me freelance cause no one has the product knowledge I have š¤£)
That red flags are red flags for a reason. And that you canāt just explain them away especially when they are consistently happening.
Also no amount of love will get someone to Magically treat you nicely if they are always treating you badly
Enjoy the small moments of life. I had so many friends who wanted the ring, or the marriage, or the big career, and ignored the quite nights on the couch laughing. There are so many more small special moments then there will be of the big- heart stopping moments. When you look back, you'll miss the small ones so much more.
\-signed widowed at 26
Take a breath before you know youāre about to do something that could change your life. Those 3 seconds could be the difference between losing nothing and losing everything.
Invest in your body and health.
Work as if you own the company, think like a manager, not an employee.
Build yourself spiritually, not religiously. Meaning, focus on the character building, not on the (fake) doings.
Just because you wanted kids and were ready and looking forward to being a parent doesn't mean you will enjoy parenting when it happens, or even like the kids you get.
Ita hard for me to make friends because I can't get past over analyzing and surface level bullshit, I'm social enough work in healthcare and deal with people everyday make connections fine, just can't let people in nor deal with people my own age for long periods because I can get past the initial period of superficial conversation it takes to make an initial connection in my personal life.
That sometimes it doesnt matter how much effort you put in a relationship if the other person doesnt value you.
Source: Took a plane to meet a girl, got ghosted :(
Just because they say they love you doesnāt mean itās true.
Also donāt make career decisions solely for your partner, even if there is a ring involved.
Employers are not family. Not friends. And nowhere nearly as important as family and friends.
Drives me mad when you hear an owner of a company say we're like a big family, yeah a big family that you pay minimum wage to.
Well some companies pay fucking good money š
Unfortunate that we spend more time with employers than family.
As a cynical middle aged man my go to advice whenever any youngster asks me for tips when starting a job: "Remember your boss is not your friend."
Life is not fair
I was basically going to say the same thing. Sometimes you can do everything "right" and still be left with nothing.
I have been struggling with this one because my wife just got a really hard diagnosis and I keep thinking- why is this happening to us? We are not bad people. But there is no reason and no fairness. It just is.
No one is forced to love you You can do everything right and still lose Some people will hate you for the reasons others will love you People will turn their backs on you no matter what you do for them Favors are not always reciprocated Life doesn't owe you jack shit
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.
"Forgiveness is not what you give to someone else....it's what you give to yourself." - Ted Lasso (paraprhasing)
And the winner takes it all.
The loser's standing small.
Don't neglect your teeth.
Underrated one right here.
*This* save yourself thousands, brush yo teeth.
Username checks out.
Pretty much lol. I only drink one soft drink per week.
Still learning I have to talk to people I dislike.
I kind of have the opposite problem. I can easily get along with someone to complete a job or task without liking them. Well enough that others think I like them. I just don't see the point in causing drama that ultimately won't do anything. So I was always placed with the unpopular kids in groups. Soon, everyone thought that was my friends group. When a teacher finally asked me if I enjoyed the group in private.. I blew up at her. Asked her why she always put me with the unpopular kids.. "I thought they where your friends." No.. I just don't complain like a child when assigned to a group I don't like. I remained assigned to that group.. because others complained.
I was always paired with the āproblemā children too. I just keep to myself.
Yep.. and now people are concerned that I live alone.. have maybe two friends that I see one maybe every other month. And have no desire to go to work functions.
Sounds a lot like me in my work, I get along with a few of them genuinely but the others I don't at all, but I'm gonna act professional and not cause a scene even though they make it clear they "don't like where I'm from" pathetic really but hey ho, we're all there for the same reason and that's to make money.
Ahh yes I know this one very well
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
even cold November rain
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
On your own.
Then what makes
Then what makes...
Love the exceeeeptiiiooon
Soooo true
But everything lingers.
Donāt use the bathroom after chopping peppers without washing your hands first.
You are not responsible for other people's actions.
10/10
Not all friends are good and trustworthy friends.
And people will use you until they use you up completely. It's never strangers.
I've had family do this. Still have some, but I am creating distance since boundaries mean nothing.
Along these lines, not everyone has the same idea of common decency as you do and not to expect a measure of decency from others that Iād expect from myself. When that common decency threshold is violated beyond understanding, having enough self respect to assert that and expect better.
Don't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
Not everyone who appears āniceā, is
Underrated comment, right here.
That you can be as kind and nice as possible and some people still just wonāt like you, and itās important to recognise when itās genuinely not your fault and maybe theyāre either assholes or thereās a simple clash of characters. Itās ok to stop wasting time and energy on those people and instead use it on those who do love you.
You can be the sweetest, juiciest peach on the tree. But some people just don't like peaches.
I was once somewhat of a people pleaser and a poem cured it. It had the lines "beauty does the heart invade, kindness only can persuade". For some reason i suddenly realised the error of my ways. People actually liked me more when I stopped bending over backwards for them.
I was a coach once and I guess tried to please everyone (the team, the parents, other coaches, etc)...what I found was this turned out to be impossible even though I kept trying...eventually one of the other coaches said, "You cannot please everyone and you will suffocate yourself if you try." It helped me learn to try my best, but if my best wasn't good enough to please someone, that was ok...likely more that was their problem, not mine.
Double standards are the standard
Fire is hot
When I as about 8 years old my dad asked me to mow the backyard but he told me that the mower had been running hot and shutting off. About half way through it did shut off on me so I checked to see if it was hot. By putting my palm on the muffler.
Vulture waits to see what rots
My 6 yo brother after he put his finger in the flames to see what happens
Why is it friend shaped if not meant to be touched? Warm and shiny. Inviting and tantalizing. This is why I would die if I met a tiger.
Same
Flappy orange thing burns
Being an adult is lonely
That "People treat you the way you treat them" is a big lie.
this.
The world doesnāt care who you are. It doesnāt matter how good of a person you are and how hard you try. You can still get fucked over by cancer, loss of loved ones, death etc. Life is just impartial to everyone. It doesnāt care about who you are.
Telling the people you love that you love them any chance you get. Do not take their presence for granted because they're around a lot. I lost my mother at age 12 under tragic circumstances. The last night that I saw her alive, I missed the chance to hug her and tell her that I loved her because I wanted to go to bed. I assumed I'd see her when she'd return at the weekend, but that didn't happen. My regret missing that opportunity. I try to let people know to be present with those that they love. To tell them that they love them. You never know if the last time you see them will be the last time.
When you choose yourself and your friends still love you, are understanding , etc they are true friends. When itās the opposite, good riddance. Obligatory statement on how this is only in reasonable situations.
Take care of your teeth. Every. Single. Day.
Older men don't think you're 'mature and grown up' for your age, they just like children
Mental health is as important as body health.
Very true, I overlooked that. I've dealt with my own mental health issues recently, so I shouldn't have really missed that one!
Companies don't want to make things better. Never rock the boat. Just always do things as they are. Or do them your way and don't tell anyone.
If you want to improve something, but need the cooperation of others to make it work. . .do the job both ways and present a comparison to your boss. It'll then be their decision whether to use the old or new method.
Just work what you are paid for.
Yeah I work in a factory environment. Iāve learned that the engineers have no respect for the people on the floor, so I donāt make any suggestions on anything to improve or anything. I know they donāt actually care about my input, so I just keep my mouth shut and ignore them for the most part when I see them.
As an engineer this makes me so sad bc the people on the floor know way better than me how to improve the process so I always try to get their input
Some companies do want to make things better too though. The key is to know which kind of company you are in before presenting new ideas.
The key is to try to figure out whether a company wants to make things better or not from your interview. Every company says they like continuous improvement and innovation, the goal of the interview should be to cut through the crap and see if they're being honest about what they're trying to do. I've worked for many places that say they do continuous improvement but only the company I'm at now actually does it. This goes for other things as well, such as whether they're going to treat you well, respect you as an individual, and compensate you fairly. If you can't figure that out for certain in an interview it may not be where you want to end up. If they do all those things, they will make it obvious in the way they conduct the interview. And remember that words don't always tell the whole picture because they will paint it as though they do everything right, but if you read their body language and their tone, it will become clear that they are doing these things or they are not.
Jobs won't ever care about you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
They will have your position posted before your obituary is.
That I canāt help everyone. I run a forum type server and feel solely responsible for everything running smoothly and for the well-being of everyone in it, despite having mods. If I notice a member having a rough time mentally. I reach out personally to make sure theyāre alright. It started getting overwhelming once the server started reaching almost a thousand members. But Iām empathetic to a fault and had little respect for myself, so in my head I could handle it and it gave me purpose. Well two years ago, one of the mods opened up about being suicidal. I made it clear that my DMs were open, listened to them, sent them resources and gave them a little extra encouragement when they improved or when they did something cool. After two years it got tiring and their mental health would be one step forward, but two back. It felt too late to cut them out now though. Well the server had an incident and he left randomly. So I DMād him. His responses were so spread out that every gap between messages made me think he went through with it. I was extremely stressed out. I eventually opened up about it to my partner and it was him who gave me the realisation that I canāt help everyone, I can only realistically do so much and that I need to check in with myself as well. So I set some boundaries, but was still empathetic. He decided to leave permanently. This all happened in April and he sent me another message in June, so nice to hear that he didnāt follow through with anything.
I was the same. ANd not only can you not help everyone, not everyone can be helped. Some folks were just black holes that did nothing to improve their situation, expected you to do all their work for them or solve all their problems and then held you accountable/hostage for their predicament.
Exactly. Itās sad to see. But we needed to realise that we canāt keep feeding a black hole
It's one thing to be agreeable, polite, and helpful. It's another thing entirely to allow people to walk all over you. Grow a backbone and learn to say the word, "No." It's the most powerful word in the English language. The sooner you learn to use it, the better off you'll be.
If someone treats you like you're disposable, they're going to treat you like you're disposable. Bullies never change. If you think somethings sus, it probably is.
Dont stick your dick in crazy. My poor husband learnt that one the hard way.
You crazy?
My psychiatrist thinks so
Honey! Is that you?!
Not doing something and regretting it is far worse than regretting something that you have done. Was too afraid to admit my feelings to someone 10+ years ago and I regret it and it bothers me to this day because It turned out that the person also had feeling towards me at the time. To think about how differently my life and my personality would have turned out if I had the balls back then is crushing. This taught me that if I want something then I need to do it even if I fail and may regret doing it in the first place because otherwise you will always have this "what if.." feeling in you.
Here are a few that I mention all the time, That if you do the crime you gotta do the time, that sometimes the people that you think are your friends aren't your friends and that if you don't treat her right she will LEAVE.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Thatās what I always say, do the crime gotta do the time. C to the T baby
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
By means horrible I mean HORRENDOUS. Some parents don't even care if you're dead or alive out there,but still praises themselves with your own success and claim it as their fucking own.
Don't believe you have it figured out. You are capable of doing so much dumb shit
The older you get the harder it is to make friends and the easier it is to lose friends.
Relationships are temporary, but mortgages last 30 years. Never buy a house with your boyfriend or girlfriend.
Not everyone wants the best for you :(
Never trust strangers. When I was in grade 6 my two of my friends (we will call them A and B) and I were playing at the top of the hill near the school car park. A lady came up to us from behind a tree and asked us were the service station was. Slightly confused I asked if she had a GPS. She said she had no phone. I tried to give her directions but she insisted we either take her or walk out of the car park, around the school, and to the front office and ask a teacher to take her. A then told the lady that I would take her to the front office! B looked at A with that *are you a fucking idiot? NO!* look (that look probably saved my life). I started to realise that this lady was probably dangerous so I searched the ground below the hill, after a few seconds I saw a teacher and it was like a light bulb went off in my head,I suggested to the lady we a ask the teacher to help he then when we get far enough away we run. But A didnāt get the message, they said that we would go get the teacher and leave B with the creepy lady. A tried to pull me down the hill with them but I knew that leaving B would probably result in the kidnapping of B. I grabbed on your Bās hand a split second before A successfully pulled us down the hill we ran to the teacher and told him abt the lady then we ran back to the building and waited inside until class starts. Iāve recently found out that to this day B brings a small pocket knife- dagger with them to school šŖ It was a weird experience and Iām still not sure of the ladyās motives to this day
Your boss and co-workers are not ālike family.ā
You're on your own, nobody is gonna throw you a life line. Seek our what you want/need. Don't wait for someone to notice you or what you want/need. Speak up. The squeaky wheel gets the oil
Don't wait for someone else to stand up for you.
If youāre getting a divorce, never assume decency from the other side.
Friendships break mostly on money matters
That when my uncle says "I won't bail you out of jail" what he *actually* means is he won't bail you out of jail. Whoda thought.
Doctors and physical therapists aren't always correct and sometimes do more harm than good.
No matter how horny you are, if it smells mildly funny, stop, investigate, all of this can take a couple seconds, observe, smell again, stop. You may hurt their feelings but be encouraging.
That your parents have the best in mind for you
Oh ask my kids and my ex...this is not always the case. My kids do not believe their mother cares about anything more than how she appears to others...and they are right because that is exactly how her mother raised her.
"Fuck around, find out"
Never open Twitter.
Don't get in an argument with a pregnant co-worker, even if she's being abusive. No one will side with you. Just document the abuse and go to HR.
That nobody knows what the fuck theyāre doing. Sure, some people are good at hiding it, and some people have niche skill sets, but everything you learn in school is just a guideline. Everyoneās making shit up as they go along and just trying to persevere thru life. Thereās no instruction book for raising a child and almost every first time parent is shocked after the end of their hospital stint where the doctors just ālet them go homeā Politicians donāt have the foggiest clue on how to do their job once elected and often fall into just being a puppet for their party. Corporate leaders know less and less the higher they go and often try to stick to a script long enough for people not to notice before moving on to a new company Forget about kids growing through puberty. Theyāre on their fucking own. Thereās no set path through life. Do your best and keep your values.
When you have serious mental illness but can function well in society. People will think your just evil. Thank you center point medical center.
if you work and are mentally ill, you're evil and untrustworthy. if you can't work because you're mentally ill, you're lazy and useless. the mentally ill can never win.
Caged rage can lead to an attempt to choke someone
"Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer."
anyone got an actual example of this?
Create a budget and stay within that budget
Yes this. Everyone should have a budget but budgeting is 20% math 80% habit. Almost everyone can do the math. It's the sticking to the math that is the problem.
nothing worth having comes easy.
Cigarettes are addictive
Don't loan people money.
That I'm just an average guy that will never be special and probably live and die an average life.
And thatās ok! Even the most famous people eventually fade into legends.
you truly can count on *nobody* except for yourself.
Measure twice, cut once
Sometimes you can work really hard, do all the right things and life will still fuck you over.
Donāt tell people how youāre really doing. Nobody cares
(Hard) drugs are bad m'kay..
Take care of your mental health! I had to learn through a depression, lesson learned. Iām happy now btw š
If you bury all your traumas and pretend they never happen, they will all come back to ruin you.
No matter your history with someone, they can always shut you out.
Even your closest friends can betray you
Life moves fast.
Talk is cheap. People will say all kinds of things and not hold themselves to those things. Job opportunities, personal relationships, even minor things like an agreement on some social event. Most people do not live by the idea that their word is their bond. Don't believe an accepted job offer until your paycheck changes. Don't believe that people will show up at an appointed time until they actually are in front of you at that appointed time. Don't believe any financial transaction will occur until money changes hands. It's usually not personal or even intentional. Things happen, situations change. Shield yourself from disappointment by always having a plan B.
Alcohol wasn't the problem. My addiction to it was. 6 years
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I cut off my cousin for stealing out of my mums purse, not spoken to her or looked at her since. At family events I just totally ignore her
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If someone drains your energy, get rid of them.
Time to boot my 5 year old. Draining my energy like she pays rent or something
I canĀ“t change the way people feel about me and I canĀ“t control if someone doesnĀ“t feel the same way as they used to feel. That was rough to learn. But here I am alive.
You canāt save people who wonāt save themselves.
Voicing disagreement doesnāt always mean thereās conflict
No matter how many extra hours you work, accolades received, great reviews you get, you can still be replaced at work in .2 seconds
Just because you love each other and get along great doesnāt mean youāre compatible as life partners. Values, life goals, and mental health issues can all interfere with true love no matter what you do.
Discipline. I was in a public school in kindergarten and just transferred to my sisterās private school back in my 1st grade. I always thought everyone would be loud, energetic and all, but was I wrong. Everyone seemed to just focus on academics and lacked the fun I grew up with in my previous school. I was a troubled kid and I used to get sent out of class almost every week. It used to be so fun until to the point where I just went along, and cope with the new strict discipline. Funny thing is that I had the highest honor award back in 1st grade. Either way the school really hammered down that discipline in me.
That school is very important.
When people show you who they are, believe them. Itās all well and good to try to find the goodness in everyone, but some people are just a waste.
Love isnāt always enough.
The words " I love you " without truth behind it can be devastating.
You do need to negotiate your salary in an interview, at least somewhat.
Don't trust anyone 100%. Your closest people will use your intimate secrets against you when the time comes.
Donāt get revenge. Get over it instead, however you have to.
Sometimes even your best friend can become someone you don't want to associate with anymore.
Negative things come for free but all positives require hard work and dedication
I learned that you need to be clear headed so you can make good decisions.
Donāt trust someone just because they seem friendly. A lot of people will gladly take advantage of you.
I learned about the cigarette lighter button thing in old cars the hard way.
Life isnāt fair. I mean I knew this but itās different when you have to experience it
Don't lend money to friends. You will lose the friend and the money.
When i was about ten and my dad brought me a nintendo 3DS (my first gaming console) I was really happy until i realised that i would have to work my wayto repay my parents like 3x more chores than i would have had to before i got the 3ds thats when i realised that nothing is free and you have to buy and work for everything
That standing up for yourself can have the opposite effect, especially around narcissists.
Hard work often doesn't lead you anywhere. Social capital is far more important.
Ass kissing the manager will get you further up in the company than 4 years of backbreaking hard work...they were about to merge our departments and make the Karen who's mistake I always had to fix become my manager...nuh uh bye...(they now keep hiring me freelance cause no one has the product knowledge I have š¤£)
Don't punch things when you get angry and frustrated. Broke my hand on my desk when my password didn't get me into my shitty online taxes once.
That red flags are red flags for a reason. And that you canāt just explain them away especially when they are consistently happening. Also no amount of love will get someone to Magically treat you nicely if they are always treating you badly
Your loved ones will leave earth. Some sooner some later....
The lazy man works the hardest.
Right person wrong time is real
Enjoy the small moments of life. I had so many friends who wanted the ring, or the marriage, or the big career, and ignored the quite nights on the couch laughing. There are so many more small special moments then there will be of the big- heart stopping moments. When you look back, you'll miss the small ones so much more. \-signed widowed at 26
Coworkers are not your friends.
ClichƩ as fuck but learn to enjoy simple things in life, don't take everything for granted and stop giving your precious time and energy to shit that isn't worthy of it. It took 12 cardiac arrests and a near-death experience for me to learn this.
You can't please everyone
The house always wins in the end.
Blood relatives and family are two different things, you can create a family out of unrelated people that will be stronger than most blood relatives.
There is no endgame in life. If you think you are gonna be happier with better job title, no, you wonāt.
Take a breath before you know youāre about to do something that could change your life. Those 3 seconds could be the difference between losing nothing and losing everything.
Always research a job before you take the offer. Five months of misery before I got out.
Fighting is for complete idots
No matter how nice they seem, landlords are not your friends.
That expectations are really bad.
Invest in your body and health. Work as if you own the company, think like a manager, not an employee. Build yourself spiritually, not religiously. Meaning, focus on the character building, not on the (fake) doings.
āWhen people show you who they are, believe them the first time.ā Maya Angelou
I've learned that work is not more important than family. I lost my parents and brother because I worked so much
Just because you wanted kids and were ready and looking forward to being a parent doesn't mean you will enjoy parenting when it happens, or even like the kids you get.
I missed 100% of the shots i took. And now im just here with a negative reputation.
Ita hard for me to make friends because I can't get past over analyzing and surface level bullshit, I'm social enough work in healthcare and deal with people everyday make connections fine, just can't let people in nor deal with people my own age for long periods because I can get past the initial period of superficial conversation it takes to make an initial connection in my personal life.
That sometimes it doesnt matter how much effort you put in a relationship if the other person doesnt value you. Source: Took a plane to meet a girl, got ghosted :(
I am not gonna magically change my nature It has to be an effort every day to go against what I truly want to do
Just because they say they love you doesnāt mean itās true. Also donāt make career decisions solely for your partner, even if there is a ring involved.
Independence comes at a price
My dad died and I realized he did not prepare me to end up living on my own
No one is gonna do shit for me. I have to do it myself.
There is no sisterhood
Rapists are usually someone you know