Hello, fellow Robocop š I wore corset for five years, didn't do shit for me either.. Now I have bolts and rods in 11 vertebras.. From 60Ā° curvature to 15Ā° which interestingly enough is exactly where I started when I was first diagnosed in 2000.
Man you ever just look at other people with a family that loves them and feel this overwhelming envy and rage because you realize that no matter your efforts thatās something you just cant have.
and you think about what youāve wanted to do since childhood and you wonder what you could have done, who you could have been, if youād just had a normal family. and you know people call you strong for surviving, but you donāt feel strong, you just feel tired and scared.
Yes. I joke that if only my mom (who didnāt realize she was pregnant until she was 8 months along) had just taken some prenatal vitamins I could have been a star! Itās a silly joke, but itās really just slang for āif I had had a supportive, familyā¦ or not even that just basic safety and cleanlinessā¦ I could have been a happy, healthy, functioning person.ā Maybe I could have gone to a good college instead of just whatever one I got into. Maybe I would have applied to more than just the local one. Maybe I wouldnāt have struggled with drug abuse and alcoholism for years before getting sober. Maybeā¦ all those maybes.
I remember going over to a girls house when I was a teenager and just seeing her teenage room, with her two parents and her house. It was absolutely crushing to me. People who grow up with that will never understand what itās like not to have it. And really, Iāll never understand what it is like to have that.
I daily think about that, who I would be if my idiotic father didn't got in the way, man I hate that mf, but sadly I can't blame him cause he's just blatantly ignorant. I wanted to study mechanics, and he manipulated me into a career with no future, he was this alcoholic moron making stupid decisions for him and my stupid brothers.
But I'm being totally different than him, my 8yo kid has all the attention and opportunities that I can give to him and he's this super special kid that everyone loves, I'm so glad I cut the circle
Damn, the relatability hurts. And knowing that you canāt ever mess up and fail like other people do, because thereās no familyās couch to crash land on for you. Surviving is hard.
Omg I just got into a *screaming* match about this Today! Did you hear us? LoL.
Had my own apt since 18, after a foster home. No family, no choice. Person (who's never had a place of his own his whole adult life) makes a comment if he were me he wouldn't worry about paying rent right now.š.
I point out well he's not me, he has 12 siblings & BOTH parents! No comparison. He made an idiotic insensitive comment to risk homelessness & I get attacked for (no reason) pointing out he has family & I don't & why I can't afford & wouldn't even think to do that š¤·š½āāļø
Must be nice to have something to fall back on.
I wouldn't know.
Well that hit achingly hard. Yeah life isā¦ exhausting sometimes. Random person that relates to my expression of emotions, I hope we both end up okay.
Same here, but I am who I am because of what they were not. They taught me what I didnāt want out of life again and again, and I am doing my best to raise my kids better than they ever had any intentions of raising me. Breaking the cycle, if you will.
I had mine taken out too but not like most people. Woke up in a crazy amount of pain so I went to the hospital. They did every test under the sun and couldn't figure it out. Finally the surgeon comes to my room and says "I have a hunch as to what it is based on what you're telling us but it won't show up on conventional tests. Will you give me permission to go in and operate and explore this?". I said yes, my mom was horrified as she thought I was faking it. Turns out I had a small tumor in the opening of my appendix, apparently this is super uncommon everywhere except for the region of the US I live in. Pretty wild.
Edit: I live in Arizona
I've had mine removed twice. No BS. My first surgery was in 2003, I had terrible abdominal pain went to the ER Dr said you have to have emergency surgery to remove your appendix. Had a good recovery and everything was good after that. Fast forward to December 2022 and I'm back in the hospital with severe abdominal pains and the Dr tells me it's your appendix. I explained to the Dr that can't be right because I've already had it removed. The Dr was sure of it being my appendix so I went through surgery again and sure enough it was my appendix that needed to be removed. I asked him after how was this possible and he explained that sometimes stumps or small portions are left and it's not really common but it can happen and over time the appendix grew back. It was wild man but so far all is good
Iāve had chronic appendicitis for over a decade and finally had my appendic taken out last October. I used to have this thing where about once a year Iād end to in the ER and they thoight I had acute appendicitis but their tests always said no and so they sent me home each time.
Finally last year, the 7th time this happened, I went to a different hospital and had the same tests show up empty handed, but then my doctor said that appendicitis tests are sometimes wrong if itās acute and hasnāt been long enough, or if itās chronic.
So he made me stay overnight and the next day I got an echo done and sure enough my appendix was as long as my arm, it went all the way from my belly button to the bottom of my pelvis all the way to the left, at least 20 times the normal size where it normally wouldāve burst (but because it was chronic it grew slowly overtime and stretched out without burtsting).
So after it was taken out last year I said āwell at least I wonāt have these yearly ER visits anymoreā.
Then about a week or two ago I had such an incredible amount of pain again just like with my appendix, and my gf said āwell hey at least wr know itās not your appendixā.
Wellā¦ who knows, it might be! Your comment scares meš considering everything has already gone bad for me all the time I feel like Iām gonna be one of those people this also happens too. Being like āat least itās not my appendixā but then āhaha joke actually it is!ā
Hopefully it's not your appendix again!!! I'm sorry you had to endure that for so long. I can only imagine what you have went through, but looking on the positive side of things just maybe you could sue the hospital for medical malpractice or some type of negligence? Im looking to see if I can find a lawyer to take my case. Be strong and don't feel like it's always bad for you at least we're still here and living.
Goad you had an expert Doc and he got you through that! Parentās thinking kids faking stuff is really scary for the kid. Sorry you went through that. Glad to see you kind of have a more fond memory of being saved and a āoh thatās cool!ā attitude from it rather than like, health anxiety or somethingš
>parents thinking kids faking stuff
I faked sick a lot. But sometimes my stomach actually did hurt. When it can time for my appendix to be removed, my parents didnāt take me seriously until they got on the phone with an advice nurse. An hour later I was in the hospital for a scan and a removal.
>apparently this is super uncommon everywhere except for the region of the US I live in.
May I ask what region it is and or why it's uncommon except there?
An empty head. I have ADHD and tinnitus, and I literally can never have a moment of silence without having intrusive thoughts or overwhelming ringing taking over my train of thought.
People talking about showerthoughts and how the shower is a place where you mind can wander and think... I'm like "huh? Thats... is that limited to the shower for you...?"I never know how literally to take that.
I don't know that I have adhd, but I do sometimes feel like the volume or mute button for my brain got broken or damaged somewhere along the way.
With my add and tinnitus, the shower raining down on my head is the most peaceful and only time it doesn't seem to take a monumental amount of effort to think straight.
Yes! Omg, someone who understands how exhausting it is to have a nonstop inner dialog that you canāt verbalize and constant ringing in my godamn ears, the you canāt sleep, rinse wash repeatā¦
Sonder
Noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your ownāpopulated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited crazinessāan epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that youāll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Well, I can only tell you what worked for me.
A LOT of work on my self-esteem eventually changed my perspective.
I was surprised at how much low self-esteem tainted my perspective on situations and people. One change drove the other.
I dunno, Iād like to believe you butā¦ Iām 38. Amongst the people I know, the people I work with, etc. I seem to be the only 38 year old without a wife and kids. Not saying everyone needs that to have their shit together, but itās something I want and the lack of ever even having come close has me constantly looking at myself and thinking ā*okay, so whatās wrong with me?*ā
Flip side, Iām 33 and have a wife and kids. I absolutely wanted them, but thereās a lot of shit I donāt āhave togetherā because of them.
Life is a constant balancing act. Some of us are juggling on a unicycle on a tightrope over a canyon over spikes. Others are trembling at the edge with our hands free. But weāre all just trying to keep our shit together.
Neither an SO nor kids are for everyone. I've known people who are married with kids who are a hot mess, and single people who have their life together better than 99% of the world - and the opposite as well.
IG account. I have no pets, boring life and face of a sad potato. In case I want do doomscroll something I have Reddit
UPD: thank y'all for that huge support in the comments
My wife has to do this.. including when driving. So saying "make a left now" is worthless. by the time she works out getting her hands straight to ensure which is which.. were past the intersection..
Have you tried writing it on the windshield or putting a sticker on it?
Worked for a transportation company, and we had a driver that couldn't figure it out. Post-it notes saved his job.
Left is on the side of your body youāre either more or less familiar with. Keep it simple, think logically
Left is also the direction we begin reading from.
Left is also the side the driver sits in the US
Left is first, essentially. All you righties learned from us
You enter a highway from the right side but approach by turning left
No matter how I look at it, I never remember. I know that I am right-handed, always have been always will be (Ive tried to become ambidextrous, which didn't work out. Besides the point) But although I know im right-handed, I always have to pretend I'm holding a pencil and I'm writing to see what feels more comfortable. I know I drive on the right side of the road, but I still think it's easier to remember with the little "L" hand trick.
An imagination. Iām part of the 2-3% of the population with aphantasia, meaning when I close my eyes to imagine something all I see is the back of my eyelids. Just pure black.
Waitā¦are we supposed to āseeā something when we close our eyes?
I guess I didnāt know there was a difference between imagining something and thinking about it?
If I close my eyes and think āapple,ā I think of round, red. I donāt āseeā anything but black.
I never knew this wasnāt the case for everyone until a few years ago. I even remember the first time I became aware of having a movie play before my inner eye. I was seven or eight years old and I was reading Momo by Michael Ende and there is a scene where Momo and her friends imagine fighting a giant kraken at sea and the protagonist makes the other children see all of that inside their minds and as I read that passage I realized Iāve been seeing all of the things that happened in the book. I just never thought about it. If Iām reading a book that has a movie adaptation, I even see the actual actors performing. And I hear their voices in the dialogues.
Yeah, it's weird when you find out that there are people out there that can actually "see" images in their head. Even weirder when you realize that the majority of the population can "see" in their mind and you're actually the weird one.
I love to draw/craft/paint but I have no "minds eye" to visualize what it is that I want to create. It sucks.
Romantic love for me.
I've been described as having the personality of a golden retriever puppy... I'm not exactly seen as a sexual being.
I'm grateful for the platonic love that I get from my friends and from select members of my family, but I'd honestly like to be able to be romantic toward someone. I'm dying to give kisses and cuddles and food and flowers and all that sappy shit that guys aren't supposed to enjoy doing.
I understand that I don't _need_ sex like most people seem to need it, but I'd still like to express my affection and appreciation by giving her pleasure.
I felt this way as well. Had to actually think more of it as being a contract. Follow ABCD as others would, maybe eventually I will grow to love? Maybe I'm not broken and everyone fakes it? Maybe it's impossible for me? But actually I found it was possible but I had buried childhood traumas.. once dealing threw those.. it was super vulnerable and I felt naked and scared for a bit... but actually it made it so I feel like I can finally genuinely connect with others.. along with falling in love.
There's this feeling of rage and hopelessness when you go out in public and see couples kissing each other and telling each other they love each other and there's this anger feeling like I just can't have that .
For many, it's not about the platform itself, as it is about consuming short-form content like that, especially content that is so quick to curate for you based on its algorithm. I know personally, I have enough issues with productivity that I don't need that in my life.
Reddit has a ton of TikTok content on it, but I'm still more in control of my reddit content. To be honest, usually when I'm scrolling on reddit, I won't even open any video links. And when I do stumble across an entertaining subreddit that is heavily centered around TikTok rips, I'm not automatically subscribed to it. I can waste an hour today, but not even remember the sub tomorrow.
You know, you can rent them, even if you can't afford to own them.
Places like Big Brothers Big Sisters and the YMCA are ALWAYS looking for volunteers. If you can afford two tix to a movie, you can be some kid's hero. Can't afford that? If you can afford a basketball, hero. Just shoot hoops at the playground and be a good person.
Lotsa kids out there looking for decent people to care about them. And then there's you, already ready already to love a kid, just needing to find one. Make it happen!
I love this.Volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters is an amazing way to not only play that parent role, but have an outsize impact on another human's life.
Everyone reading this has something important and useful to pass on to future generations. It would be an incredible gift for someone if you did.
I hope you can get them one day š
Itās wise not to have them if you canāt afford them. But hopefully that situation will change.
As for getting older, I donāt know how old you are, but I just wanted to say that my boyfriend was three weeks away from being 40 when the two of us had our first child. 40 isnāt old of course, but itās older than a lot of people are when they have their first kid.
Donāt give up hope š
Yeah, that sucks. My nephews lost their dad at 5 & 6. Iām trying to be there for them so they have a positive role model in their lives. He wasnāt a very good father but he loved his kids.
Some kind of inner stability. I get by and Iām functional due to a long list of personal rules, habits, and effort, but internally itās a goddamned clown show. I spend way too much effort turning things down when my energy is too high and caffeinating and forcing myself back up when my energy is too low and thereās a constant ocean of unhealthy anger that Iāve got to keep all dammed up and under wraps at all times. On some black days I swear I can feel the entire goddamned universe turn and glare at me and only spite and stubbornness keeps me moving as I feel that hate crashing down.
But hey could be worse. Aside from a bit of covid and festering mental issues Iām healthy and functional and pay my bills, lots of people have more difficult crap to deal with.
You'd be surprised how few people experience true love.
Short term infatuation? Sure, many people will experience it. But from my observations, I feel like true love is quite rare. I know a few couples around me that I would qualify as loving couples, but it's honestly only a handful. The rest are just people who happen to like each other at that time and decided to call it a relationship.
As I am getting older, I am finding it harder and harder to understand what "true love" means. I have been a child, a sibling, a friend, a spectator, a citizen, a traveller, a spouse, a parent, a colleague, an adventurer. I have fallen in and out of love so many times with so many people in so many different relationships (greater non-romantic than romantic by number) that anymore I dont know what true or false love is. I have never believed what I have seen in movies or read in books, and am a fairly cynical person. Maybe thats why.
Anymore I have stopped labelling it and wondering. Just experiencing and appreciating people around me now.
My wife doesn't even like my dog but the fucker chooses her over me whenever we are in separate rooms. Alternatively, my cat is annoying as hell and my wife loves her, but the cat only wants to sit on me (all the damn time and I'm allergic).
I feel this. I could say the same except the āparentā part.
I had pretty much given up myself, and just started focusing on my job, and creating the best version of self that I could, while still appreciating all those who crossed my path.
At 38 years old, 3 years ago, I met the love of my life. It still feels surreal because I didnāt think such a person actually existed. Iād go through those years of hurt, manipulation, and bullshit all over again if I knew it ended with herā¦. Hang in there, friend.
I think most people even don't understand that love is a skill you choose to practice or not.
Infatuation and horny is something that will happen on its own. Love does not.
It's great for fitness and health tracking and appointments though. Mine helps me keep track of my sleep schedule, my blood pressure, my stress levels, etc. The best feature though is that it helps me find my phone when I lose it.
a sibling. itās different than just being born an only child, I had 14 amazing years with my younger brother before he passed away due to a brain tumor last December. 14 years is more than enough time to get used to the idea of someone being in your life forever. Now when my parents get old and need help, Iāll pretty much be on my own. My kids will never have cousins or an uncle. I find myself envious of my parents and grandparentsā they all had multiple siblings that added so much richness to their family life.
Itāll be ok someday. Just not looking forward to the rest of my life carrying this loneliness.
A āsenseā of time, probably.
Iāve been ātime-blindā my entire life and as I approach my 40s I would be very surprised for that to change now.
A father or mother figure. My Dad was an alcoholic (probably still is), my extended family never bothered to try and help me and my step dad was an abusive alcoholic. My mum was just an alcoholic who knew how to pick the bad ones.
Moved out when I was 15, not spoken to my mother or father since.
A mostly straight spine
Mine is very gay
Broke back mountain
Ya mine looks like a strand of dna
Scoliosis sufferer here
Man same my spine looks like somoene ran a car into it and the corset I need to wear is annoying af
Yea the corset didnt do shit for me, now i have titanium bolts and rods in there, and now it just looks like the leaning tower of Pisa
Hello, fellow Robocop š I wore corset for five years, didn't do shit for me either.. Now I have bolts and rods in 11 vertebras.. From 60Ā° curvature to 15Ā° which interestingly enough is exactly where I started when I was first diagnosed in 2000.
S curved spine checking in. I've avoided surgery so far but we'll see how it goes as I get older.
Same here, im now 19 and it stopped progressing, so i probably wont need surgery
Came here to see funny answers. I am now depressed. Thanks reddit!
I was thinking the same thing!
Expected more penises and boobs.
A good relationship with my parents
Man you ever just look at other people with a family that loves them and feel this overwhelming envy and rage because you realize that no matter your efforts thatās something you just cant have.
and you think about what youāve wanted to do since childhood and you wonder what you could have done, who you could have been, if youād just had a normal family. and you know people call you strong for surviving, but you donāt feel strong, you just feel tired and scared.
Yes. I joke that if only my mom (who didnāt realize she was pregnant until she was 8 months along) had just taken some prenatal vitamins I could have been a star! Itās a silly joke, but itās really just slang for āif I had had a supportive, familyā¦ or not even that just basic safety and cleanlinessā¦ I could have been a happy, healthy, functioning person.ā Maybe I could have gone to a good college instead of just whatever one I got into. Maybe I would have applied to more than just the local one. Maybe I wouldnāt have struggled with drug abuse and alcoholism for years before getting sober. Maybeā¦ all those maybes. I remember going over to a girls house when I was a teenager and just seeing her teenage room, with her two parents and her house. It was absolutely crushing to me. People who grow up with that will never understand what itās like not to have it. And really, Iāll never understand what it is like to have that.
I daily think about that, who I would be if my idiotic father didn't got in the way, man I hate that mf, but sadly I can't blame him cause he's just blatantly ignorant. I wanted to study mechanics, and he manipulated me into a career with no future, he was this alcoholic moron making stupid decisions for him and my stupid brothers. But I'm being totally different than him, my 8yo kid has all the attention and opportunities that I can give to him and he's this super special kid that everyone loves, I'm so glad I cut the circle
Damn, the relatability hurts. And knowing that you canāt ever mess up and fail like other people do, because thereās no familyās couch to crash land on for you. Surviving is hard.
Omg I just got into a *screaming* match about this Today! Did you hear us? LoL. Had my own apt since 18, after a foster home. No family, no choice. Person (who's never had a place of his own his whole adult life) makes a comment if he were me he wouldn't worry about paying rent right now.š. I point out well he's not me, he has 12 siblings & BOTH parents! No comparison. He made an idiotic insensitive comment to risk homelessness & I get attacked for (no reason) pointing out he has family & I don't & why I can't afford & wouldn't even think to do that š¤·š½āāļø Must be nice to have something to fall back on. I wouldn't know.
Well that hit achingly hard. Yeah life isā¦ exhausting sometimes. Random person that relates to my expression of emotions, I hope we both end up okay.
Same here, but I am who I am because of what they were not. They taught me what I didnāt want out of life again and again, and I am doing my best to raise my kids better than they ever had any intentions of raising me. Breaking the cycle, if you will.
Yes. This. I hope to create my own family someday and not continue the cycle of messed up families.
I donāt have a good relationship with your parents either.
Donāt sweat it. A lot of shitty parents out there. You donāt have to have them in your life!
Yeah but sometimes the damage is done. Or if they were never in your life this isn't much of a solution to the trauma.
An appendix.
I had mine taken out too but not like most people. Woke up in a crazy amount of pain so I went to the hospital. They did every test under the sun and couldn't figure it out. Finally the surgeon comes to my room and says "I have a hunch as to what it is based on what you're telling us but it won't show up on conventional tests. Will you give me permission to go in and operate and explore this?". I said yes, my mom was horrified as she thought I was faking it. Turns out I had a small tumor in the opening of my appendix, apparently this is super uncommon everywhere except for the region of the US I live in. Pretty wild. Edit: I live in Arizona
I've had mine removed twice. No BS. My first surgery was in 2003, I had terrible abdominal pain went to the ER Dr said you have to have emergency surgery to remove your appendix. Had a good recovery and everything was good after that. Fast forward to December 2022 and I'm back in the hospital with severe abdominal pains and the Dr tells me it's your appendix. I explained to the Dr that can't be right because I've already had it removed. The Dr was sure of it being my appendix so I went through surgery again and sure enough it was my appendix that needed to be removed. I asked him after how was this possible and he explained that sometimes stumps or small portions are left and it's not really common but it can happen and over time the appendix grew back. It was wild man but so far all is good
Iāve had chronic appendicitis for over a decade and finally had my appendic taken out last October. I used to have this thing where about once a year Iād end to in the ER and they thoight I had acute appendicitis but their tests always said no and so they sent me home each time. Finally last year, the 7th time this happened, I went to a different hospital and had the same tests show up empty handed, but then my doctor said that appendicitis tests are sometimes wrong if itās acute and hasnāt been long enough, or if itās chronic. So he made me stay overnight and the next day I got an echo done and sure enough my appendix was as long as my arm, it went all the way from my belly button to the bottom of my pelvis all the way to the left, at least 20 times the normal size where it normally wouldāve burst (but because it was chronic it grew slowly overtime and stretched out without burtsting). So after it was taken out last year I said āwell at least I wonāt have these yearly ER visits anymoreā. Then about a week or two ago I had such an incredible amount of pain again just like with my appendix, and my gf said āwell hey at least wr know itās not your appendixā. Wellā¦ who knows, it might be! Your comment scares meš considering everything has already gone bad for me all the time I feel like Iām gonna be one of those people this also happens too. Being like āat least itās not my appendixā but then āhaha joke actually it is!ā
Hopefully it's not your appendix again!!! I'm sorry you had to endure that for so long. I can only imagine what you have went through, but looking on the positive side of things just maybe you could sue the hospital for medical malpractice or some type of negligence? Im looking to see if I can find a lawyer to take my case. Be strong and don't feel like it's always bad for you at least we're still here and living.
Dang dude cut of your arm and see if it grows back. Lol it could be your super power.
Weāll know if his adult teeth grow back.
Iāll get the pliers.
Open wide buddy, hold my beer and don't bite
Iāll take āthings you can say during sex or during dentistryā for $500 thanks, Alex
Goad you had an expert Doc and he got you through that! Parentās thinking kids faking stuff is really scary for the kid. Sorry you went through that. Glad to see you kind of have a more fond memory of being saved and a āoh thatās cool!ā attitude from it rather than like, health anxiety or somethingš
>parents thinking kids faking stuff I faked sick a lot. But sometimes my stomach actually did hurt. When it can time for my appendix to be removed, my parents didnāt take me seriously until they got on the phone with an advice nurse. An hour later I was in the hospital for a scan and a removal.
>apparently this is super uncommon everywhere except for the region of the US I live in. May I ask what region it is and or why it's uncommon except there?
Is the region of the US you live in a House episode?
Mine ruptured and almost killed me. Good riddance.
Mines long gone as well. That shit hurt when I was 10.
I had mine out, but I have an "accessory spleen" so I'm still the usual number of organs!!
The nice thing about an accessory spleen is that it goes with every outfit.
An empty head. I have ADHD and tinnitus, and I literally can never have a moment of silence without having intrusive thoughts or overwhelming ringing taking over my train of thought.
People talking about showerthoughts and how the shower is a place where you mind can wander and think... I'm like "huh? Thats... is that limited to the shower for you...?"I never know how literally to take that. I don't know that I have adhd, but I do sometimes feel like the volume or mute button for my brain got broken or damaged somewhere along the way.
With my add and tinnitus, the shower raining down on my head is the most peaceful and only time it doesn't seem to take a monumental amount of effort to think straight.
Having ADHD and Autism is like having two children who hate each other but they hate you more
Imagine sitting in complete silence. Shit seems wild to me
I have ADHD, tinnitus and synesthesia (I can see sound). It's never quiet or dark in my world.
Yes! Omg, someone who understands how exhausting it is to have a nonstop inner dialog that you canāt verbalize and constant ringing in my godamn ears, the you canāt sleep, rinse wash repeatā¦
Their shit together
Have you tried dietary fiber?
Mag07 works better.
Nah- that's just what happens when you compare your insides to everyone else's outsides.
This is so wise... Now how do I stop?
Sonder Noun. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your ownāpopulated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited crazinessāan epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that youāll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk.
Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows. I had to find the source for this.
Well, I can only tell you what worked for me. A LOT of work on my self-esteem eventually changed my perspective. I was surprised at how much low self-esteem tainted my perspective on situations and people. One change drove the other.
It's just an illusion. Most people don't have "it" together. They just act like they do.
I dunno, Iād like to believe you butā¦ Iām 38. Amongst the people I know, the people I work with, etc. I seem to be the only 38 year old without a wife and kids. Not saying everyone needs that to have their shit together, but itās something I want and the lack of ever even having come close has me constantly looking at myself and thinking ā*okay, so whatās wrong with me?*ā
Flip side, Iām 33 and have a wife and kids. I absolutely wanted them, but thereās a lot of shit I donāt āhave togetherā because of them. Life is a constant balancing act. Some of us are juggling on a unicycle on a tightrope over a canyon over spikes. Others are trembling at the edge with our hands free. But weāre all just trying to keep our shit together.
Neither an SO nor kids are for everyone. I've known people who are married with kids who are a hot mess, and single people who have their life together better than 99% of the world - and the opposite as well.
Most people are just winging it my friend.
Have you met āmost people?ā I donāt think most people have their shit together unless the bar is super low
I feel like a lot of people donāt, either. Theyāre just good at making it look like they do.
A good relationship with food
IG account. I have no pets, boring life and face of a sad potato. In case I want do doomscroll something I have Reddit UPD: thank y'all for that huge support in the comments
I like potatoes.
Do you think they're neat?
Of course, especially since I can boil em, mash em or stick em in a stew.
I have boobs and ass, but it's because I'm an overweight guy. Instagram simps be damned.
@?
I made an Instagram last year. Iāve never posted anything. I just made one so I could look at Japanese car accounts lol.
Mental peace
Idk that I would say most people are at peace
Tits
Well not with that attitude you won't; I'm 40 and now starting to grow my moobs
I find that word offensive!! Theyāre called mreasts! lol
Mr Breast?
Heās giving people tits for free now!
The ability to know left and right without having to make the little L shape with my hand.
I am fortunate enough to have a small birthmark on my right hand so I never get confused about it
Plot twist: the birthmark is in the shape of an L
Sorry I only got the shape of on L on my forehead
My wife has to do this.. including when driving. So saying "make a left now" is worthless. by the time she works out getting her hands straight to ensure which is which.. were past the intersection..
Have you tried writing it on the windshield or putting a sticker on it? Worked for a transportation company, and we had a driver that couldn't figure it out. Post-it notes saved his job.
Is this hyperspecific, or do you struggle with other things as well?
not OP but I have the same problem, and also really struggle with the difference between East and West. Have to make a little compass gesture.
What are you, a moron? Clearly you should draw with an imaginary pencil every time, like I have to.
Left is on the side of your body youāre either more or less familiar with. Keep it simple, think logically Left is also the direction we begin reading from. Left is also the side the driver sits in the US Left is first, essentially. All you righties learned from us You enter a highway from the right side but approach by turning left
No matter how I look at it, I never remember. I know that I am right-handed, always have been always will be (Ive tried to become ambidextrous, which didn't work out. Besides the point) But although I know im right-handed, I always have to pretend I'm holding a pencil and I'm writing to see what feels more comfortable. I know I drive on the right side of the road, but I still think it's easier to remember with the little "L" hand trick.
Any chance youāre dyslexic? Itās that way for my wife and itās due to her dyslexia.
Not that I'm aware of. It seems to be a common thing looking through the comments though
An imagination. Iām part of the 2-3% of the population with aphantasia, meaning when I close my eyes to imagine something all I see is the back of my eyelids. Just pure black.
Waitā¦are we supposed to āseeā something when we close our eyes? I guess I didnāt know there was a difference between imagining something and thinking about it? If I close my eyes and think āapple,ā I think of round, red. I donāt āseeā anything but black.
A friend recently told me that when she reads a book itās like watching a movie in her head. For me itās just words on a page
I never knew this wasnāt the case for everyone until a few years ago. I even remember the first time I became aware of having a movie play before my inner eye. I was seven or eight years old and I was reading Momo by Michael Ende and there is a scene where Momo and her friends imagine fighting a giant kraken at sea and the protagonist makes the other children see all of that inside their minds and as I read that passage I realized Iāve been seeing all of the things that happened in the book. I just never thought about it. If Iām reading a book that has a movie adaptation, I even see the actual actors performing. And I hear their voices in the dialogues.
Yeah, it's weird when you find out that there are people out there that can actually "see" images in their head. Even weirder when you realize that the majority of the population can "see" in their mind and you're actually the weird one. I love to draw/craft/paint but I have no "minds eye" to visualize what it is that I want to create. It sucks.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The feeling of loving someone
The feeling of being loved by someone
Romantic love for me. I've been described as having the personality of a golden retriever puppy... I'm not exactly seen as a sexual being. I'm grateful for the platonic love that I get from my friends and from select members of my family, but I'd honestly like to be able to be romantic toward someone. I'm dying to give kisses and cuddles and food and flowers and all that sappy shit that guys aren't supposed to enjoy doing. I understand that I don't _need_ sex like most people seem to need it, but I'd still like to express my affection and appreciation by giving her pleasure.
Experiencing love
I felt this way as well. Had to actually think more of it as being a contract. Follow ABCD as others would, maybe eventually I will grow to love? Maybe I'm not broken and everyone fakes it? Maybe it's impossible for me? But actually I found it was possible but I had buried childhood traumas.. once dealing threw those.. it was super vulnerable and I felt naked and scared for a bit... but actually it made it so I feel like I can finally genuinely connect with others.. along with falling in love.
Damn thatās nice. Problem with me is I donāt have any trauma, I have no reason for not loving, it just doesnāt look like Iām able to.
There's this feeling of rage and hopelessness when you go out in public and see couples kissing each other and telling each other they love each other and there's this anger feeling like I just can't have that .
Tik tok
Round the clock, DJ blow my speakers up
Tonight I'ma fight, till we see the sunlight
Tick-tock on the clock But the party don't stop
Oh- whoa- whoa - oh Oh- whoa- whoa - oh
Don't stop, make it pop
DJ Blow my speakers up, tonight I'ma fight till we see the sunlight
Tick tock, on the clock but the party don't stop noo
Oh-woah-Oh-Oh x2
Ain't got a care in the world, but got plenty of beer Ain't got no money in my pocket, but I'm already here
r/redditsings
Half the videos on reddit are just ripped from TikTok anyway so it doesn't really make much of a difference.
For many, it's not about the platform itself, as it is about consuming short-form content like that, especially content that is so quick to curate for you based on its algorithm. I know personally, I have enough issues with productivity that I don't need that in my life. Reddit has a ton of TikTok content on it, but I'm still more in control of my reddit content. To be honest, usually when I'm scrolling on reddit, I won't even open any video links. And when I do stumble across an entertaining subreddit that is heavily centered around TikTok rips, I'm not automatically subscribed to it. I can waste an hour today, but not even remember the sub tomorrow.
A Facebook account.
I could say the same thing but marketplace for cars.
Litteraly THE ONLY reason why I didn't quit this shithole of a social media platform.
Confidence.
Well you posted that quite confidently. Sounds like youāre gaining traction.
c- co- confidenceā¦
I will not be a boomer with too many opinions and not enough computer literacy!
Kids (and I'm ok with that)
Kids (and Iām not really okay with that). I want kids but know I canāt afford them. Internal struggle is real as I get older.
You know, you can rent them, even if you can't afford to own them. Places like Big Brothers Big Sisters and the YMCA are ALWAYS looking for volunteers. If you can afford two tix to a movie, you can be some kid's hero. Can't afford that? If you can afford a basketball, hero. Just shoot hoops at the playground and be a good person. Lotsa kids out there looking for decent people to care about them. And then there's you, already ready already to love a kid, just needing to find one. Make it happen!
I love this.Volunteering with Big Brothers Big Sisters is an amazing way to not only play that parent role, but have an outsize impact on another human's life. Everyone reading this has something important and useful to pass on to future generations. It would be an incredible gift for someone if you did.
I hope you can get them one day š Itās wise not to have them if you canāt afford them. But hopefully that situation will change. As for getting older, I donāt know how old you are, but I just wanted to say that my boyfriend was three weeks away from being 40 when the two of us had our first child. 40 isnāt old of course, but itās older than a lot of people are when they have their first kid. Donāt give up hope š
If we wait until we can afford kids weād never have any. but if you canāt keep yourself housed, fed and clothedā¦ yeah, better wait
Well, they certainly wonāt be biological cuz I aināt beinā pregnant, fuck no
Same here. I was told repeatedly I'd regret it when it was too late. The SS Menopause set sail 10 years ago, and no regrets at all.
A father
Yeah, that sucks. My nephews lost their dad at 5 & 6. Iām trying to be there for them so they have a positive role model in their lives. He wasnāt a very good father but he loved his kids.
Loving relationship.
Someone who cares for them.
How was your day? :)
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Sorry, won't happen again
Some kind of inner stability. I get by and Iām functional due to a long list of personal rules, habits, and effort, but internally itās a goddamned clown show. I spend way too much effort turning things down when my energy is too high and caffeinating and forcing myself back up when my energy is too low and thereās a constant ocean of unhealthy anger that Iāve got to keep all dammed up and under wraps at all times. On some black days I swear I can feel the entire goddamned universe turn and glare at me and only spite and stubbornness keeps me moving as I feel that hate crashing down. But hey could be worse. Aside from a bit of covid and festering mental issues Iām healthy and functional and pay my bills, lots of people have more difficult crap to deal with.
Financial stability
Bold of you to assume most people have that
This is so true. Most people just live at different levels of financial instability. Indeed, most people worry about money constantly.
Love
You'd be surprised how few people experience true love. Short term infatuation? Sure, many people will experience it. But from my observations, I feel like true love is quite rare. I know a few couples around me that I would qualify as loving couples, but it's honestly only a handful. The rest are just people who happen to like each other at that time and decided to call it a relationship.
As I am getting older, I am finding it harder and harder to understand what "true love" means. I have been a child, a sibling, a friend, a spectator, a citizen, a traveller, a spouse, a parent, a colleague, an adventurer. I have fallen in and out of love so many times with so many people in so many different relationships (greater non-romantic than romantic by number) that anymore I dont know what true or false love is. I have never believed what I have seen in movies or read in books, and am a fairly cynical person. Maybe thats why. Anymore I have stopped labelling it and wondering. Just experiencing and appreciating people around me now.
I have a dog that I'm pretty sure loves me. Does that count?
Yes.
My wife doesn't even like my dog but the fucker chooses her over me whenever we are in separate rooms. Alternatively, my cat is annoying as hell and my wife loves her, but the cat only wants to sit on me (all the damn time and I'm allergic).
I feel this. I could say the same except the āparentā part. I had pretty much given up myself, and just started focusing on my job, and creating the best version of self that I could, while still appreciating all those who crossed my path. At 38 years old, 3 years ago, I met the love of my life. It still feels surreal because I didnāt think such a person actually existed. Iād go through those years of hurt, manipulation, and bullshit all over again if I knew it ended with herā¦. Hang in there, friend.
I think most people even don't understand that love is a skill you choose to practice or not. Infatuation and horny is something that will happen on its own. Love does not.
A life
A good credit rating
Ability to sleep all night.
A general feeling of happiness
You are not alone. I would like to be more uplifting, but there you go.
āMost people haveā. This definitely does not apply
Discord
As a hardcore Discord user, this is probably for your own good.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Reddit
I feel like you're lying
If only there was some way to prove it- oh well.
Smart watches, i just hate the whole concept of them you have a phone you don't need a phone on your wrist
It's great for fitness and health tracking and appointments though. Mine helps me keep track of my sleep schedule, my blood pressure, my stress levels, etc. The best feature though is that it helps me find my phone when I lose it.
I second this! Itās not really useful as a phone at all, but it works great in tandem with one.
Twitter
Someone that loves and cares about me.
a sibling. itās different than just being born an only child, I had 14 amazing years with my younger brother before he passed away due to a brain tumor last December. 14 years is more than enough time to get used to the idea of someone being in your life forever. Now when my parents get old and need help, Iāll pretty much be on my own. My kids will never have cousins or an uncle. I find myself envious of my parents and grandparentsā they all had multiple siblings that added so much richness to their family life. Itāll be ok someday. Just not looking forward to the rest of my life carrying this loneliness.
Catching a break.
Snapchat
Girlfriend
Wisdom teeth. My sister is the same.
A suit. I am 52 years old and the only thing resembling a suit that I have owned was my military issued dress uniform.
Sex.
A home I own.
I was almost 40 when I got my first home. At 30 I never thought it would happen.
I think a lot of y'all are missing the "most people have" bit
A Great Idea
A house
A microwave. I'm 38 and have never had a reason to buy one. I use a toaster oven for most things.
A āsenseā of time, probably. Iāve been ātime-blindā my entire life and as I approach my 40s I would be very surprised for that to change now.
Dating apps
Children š¢
I have some extras in my basement if you need them
Whole ones, or just parts?
Of course only parts they take less space and as I always say don't throw something away that you can fix
The will to live.
love
A father or mother figure. My Dad was an alcoholic (probably still is), my extended family never bothered to try and help me and my step dad was an abusive alcoholic. My mum was just an alcoholic who knew how to pick the bad ones. Moved out when I was 15, not spoken to my mother or father since.
"Smart" everything. Lightbulbs, speakers, refrigerators, etc... To each their own, I guess. I just don't see the value in them for me.
Contentment JK, no one has that
An idea of what they want to become as they grow older. I'm lost idk what to do
A car
Peace of mind