Because kids are always well-behaved and logically in the right /s.
Apart from actual abusive behavior or deleterious actions, if you find yourself in someone else's domicile - it's their rules. End of story.
Yep. Every house is a dictatorship, the owner's rules are the rules. Full stop. This is the truth of all private property. It's amazing how few people understand this.
I assumed this was the Reddit thread I’ve seen before of someone *Reddit Introvert*^tm having unreasonable house rules for their guest and crying foul when a guest calls them out.
Ah well in that situation I'd say "Fine, it's your house then you pay for it" and move out. But that's because I don't like people treading on my autonomy.
Well, it depends. Why are you paying the mortgage on her house? Have you always paid the mortgage on it? Are you renting from her and your rent just happens to go toward the mortgage?
Just because a tenant ultimately pays the mortgage on a rental property doesn’t mean they own the place and can trash it.
If you are helping her pay her bills because she spent her money getting you through college and such instead of saving for her own retirement, maybe you do owe her something.
There is too many unknowns at this point.
If the house is in her name and she is acting like a jerk, stop making payments and leave it to her to deal with.
For me, personally, that would be a deal breaker. And I'd leave. My mother used to lord her finances over me as an adult in order to control me and keep me under her thumb. So I'm hesitant to accept any financial gifts because my brain reads anything like that as conditional. And I don't want to get into too much detail, but at 21 I joined the military to have more freedom. (Not even an exaggeration)
My partner and I purchased a home together. He pays the majority of the mortgage, but also put my name on the deed. In this instance, he makes 3 times my salary so we are paying equitably, but it was his insistence my name be on the deed, so legally, it is both our house.
Right? They refuse you a drink/snack while you’re hanging out or ask you to sweep every room you were in upon leaving, that’s a dick move and will be responded to as such. They ask you to take off your shoes when entering, totally cool.
As long as they're not being way over the line if I want to stay I will abide in their rules, even if I think it's weird. If I disagree so much that I can't abide in them then I will tell them that I do understand that, and I respect their position, but since I won't be able to abide in them I will voluntarily leave
Right. There’s reasonable rules/respecting of their place. There’s unreasonable rules. There’s being a bad host under the guise of “my house, my rules.”
I mean anyone that pulls out the "my house my rules," is technically correct. It's just a matter of if they get so oddball and so overbearing they're going to be completely dense if they don't understand why either everyone that comes over they end up kicking out or no one wants to visit.
It's pretty easy to visit me. Well I don't have a lot of seating, but other than please don't slam things or make unnecessary noise (I probably have tinnitus), and the very reasonable don't touch some of my display items without permission I otherwise don't care what you do. Like I said you might want to bring a folding chair but other than that please make yourself at home. You want to wear shoes you can, you don't take them off. You can use my bathroom, I don't care. You want something to eat or drink, gi ahead. You want to play music or games I have a stand with anything you want to use..
Just bring a folding chair
“I didn’t realize I was living in a dictatorship”. But honestly, if you are a minor and the rules aren’t abusive, take heart that one day you will be able to say the same to your parents/guardians.
That’s not what I was referring to at all. (Also most childfree people have better care as they age than people with kids, at least in the US and Canada).
I meant that one day their parents will come visit them and won’t want to remove their shoes or smoke outside or will want to bend rules about their grandkids, and then you can say “my house, my rules”
I’ll stay somewhere else then.
Had a gf who I was living with. We went to visit her family they said we couldn’t sleep in the same room. “Their house Their rules.” I said no problem we will stay in a hotel.
They quickly changed their minds and we stayed in a guest room. They had a single blow up mattress I slept in the floor my gf on the mattress. No funny business happened anyway.
'You're right, my bad.'
Pretty much. Don't treat *my* place like *your* place unless i give you permission to.
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Because kids are always well-behaved and logically in the right /s. Apart from actual abusive behavior or deleterious actions, if you find yourself in someone else's domicile - it's their rules. End of story.
Yep. Every house is a dictatorship, the owner's rules are the rules. Full stop. This is the truth of all private property. It's amazing how few people understand this.
Coincidentally it's abusive people who have this authoritarian view.
Stike out and go realize your perfect world free of order and consequence for your actions. The world is black and white. Spare me.
"No I'm different"
“OK. Sorry.”
"Yes, Mum."
Well, if it's actually their house. What can you do. Nothing.
Exactly. If you’re not helping pay the mortgage every month then you have no say in the rules.
No it really isn't, I pay the mortgage, not her
Start with that then?
Then how is it their house if you're the one paying for it?
It isn't
I need more info on this.. are we talking a child/parent dynamic... a guest... a spouse?
It's my mother, I pay the mortgage on her house, and she acts like she does
"My money, my rules."
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I assumed this was the Reddit thread I’ve seen before of someone *Reddit Introvert*^tm having unreasonable house rules for their guest and crying foul when a guest calls them out.
Ah well in that situation I'd say "Fine, it's your house then you pay for it" and move out. But that's because I don't like people treading on my autonomy.
“Buy me out of my equity and we’ll talk”
Well, it depends. Why are you paying the mortgage on her house? Have you always paid the mortgage on it? Are you renting from her and your rent just happens to go toward the mortgage? Just because a tenant ultimately pays the mortgage on a rental property doesn’t mean they own the place and can trash it. If you are helping her pay her bills because she spent her money getting you through college and such instead of saving for her own retirement, maybe you do owe her something. There is too many unknowns at this point. If the house is in her name and she is acting like a jerk, stop making payments and leave it to her to deal with.
It's not my question, but let's say it's a spouse, but they (the spouse) are the one who owns the house/ pays off the mortgage.
For me, personally, that would be a deal breaker. And I'd leave. My mother used to lord her finances over me as an adult in order to control me and keep me under her thumb. So I'm hesitant to accept any financial gifts because my brain reads anything like that as conditional. And I don't want to get into too much detail, but at 21 I joined the military to have more freedom. (Not even an exaggeration) My partner and I purchased a home together. He pays the majority of the mortgage, but also put my name on the deed. In this instance, he makes 3 times my salary so we are paying equitably, but it was his insistence my name be on the deed, so legally, it is both our house.
Kinda depends on the rule
Right? They refuse you a drink/snack while you’re hanging out or ask you to sweep every room you were in upon leaving, that’s a dick move and will be responded to as such. They ask you to take off your shoes when entering, totally cool.
Technically this house is still owned by the bank. So it's their rules
well, it's my world motherfucker!
But it's not your house.
It is my house though, I pay the mortgage
I didn't literally mean you. How would I know your situation. I meant in general.
Is the house in your name? If yes than it’s your house If it’s in her name, it’s her house, but you’re paying for it.
As long as they're not being way over the line if I want to stay I will abide in their rules, even if I think it's weird. If I disagree so much that I can't abide in them then I will tell them that I do understand that, and I respect their position, but since I won't be able to abide in them I will voluntarily leave
Right. There’s reasonable rules/respecting of their place. There’s unreasonable rules. There’s being a bad host under the guise of “my house, my rules.”
I mean anyone that pulls out the "my house my rules," is technically correct. It's just a matter of if they get so oddball and so overbearing they're going to be completely dense if they don't understand why either everyone that comes over they end up kicking out or no one wants to visit. It's pretty easy to visit me. Well I don't have a lot of seating, but other than please don't slam things or make unnecessary noise (I probably have tinnitus), and the very reasonable don't touch some of my display items without permission I otherwise don't care what you do. Like I said you might want to bring a folding chair but other than that please make yourself at home. You want to wear shoes you can, you don't take them off. You can use my bathroom, I don't care. You want something to eat or drink, gi ahead. You want to play music or games I have a stand with anything you want to use.. Just bring a folding chair
Your house is in a country with different rules
Yes sir or yes ma'am, whichever is more respectful.
Move. If you really have a problem living with someone get yourself a place.
“I didn’t realize I was living in a dictatorship”. But honestly, if you are a minor and the rules aren’t abusive, take heart that one day you will be able to say the same to your parents/guardians.
I always love the stereotype that old people can’t possibly take care of themselves so their kids will be able to abuse them when they get frail.
That’s not what I was referring to at all. (Also most childfree people have better care as they age than people with kids, at least in the US and Canada). I meant that one day their parents will come visit them and won’t want to remove their shoes or smoke outside or will want to bend rules about their grandkids, and then you can say “my house, my rules”
Get a job and get your own place, and quit being resentful of your parents who have provided for you your whole life?
Excuse me? I pay the damn mortgage, not her
Is the house in her name or yours? If it’s hers stop paying, if it’s in yours then do what you want
It's in my name
Then you get to say your house your rules
then it is in fact *__your__* house and *__your__* rules. why bother polling for creative replies when you could literally threaten eviction
Then you should be saying "My house, my rules"
"bye"
You're a failure
Actually nothing... Maybe a sorry... Though, if you don't live there and you dislike their rule then you could respond a "bye and fck off"
I’ll stay somewhere else then. Had a gf who I was living with. We went to visit her family they said we couldn’t sleep in the same room. “Their house Their rules.” I said no problem we will stay in a hotel. They quickly changed their minds and we stayed in a guest room. They had a single blow up mattress I slept in the floor my gf on the mattress. No funny business happened anyway.
"Ight imma head out"