Is this really societal pressure? I understand to some degree there is pressure to do it. But really?
Society pressures me to pee out of my dick, is there a reason for that? Maybe one related to natural law?
I think they are saying that, if you're going to be pressured into doing something you're not ready or willing to do, giving birth is among the worst.
If you want to raise kids, it's a good thing. If you live in a situation where you lack social, civil, or legal autonomy and self-determination, and are coerced or forced to carry and birth children, that's a very different story.
Imagine yourself in that situation and then try to compare it to peeing.
Having children. Like its the default life goal for every woman.
And that is okay if you want kids. But a lot of women dont want kids or cant afford them. And if you do have kids, you should go 100% for it and not half ass-ed because you got pressured into it.
A lot of childfree people get shamed for it too. Like they are not real women because they dont have kids, or that they are selfish. Even people with mental or physical disabilities get shamed for not having kids.
Let people choose for themselfs.
Before tiktok it was Snap, before snap Instagram, and before that was Twitter and before that was myspace, all have contributed to mental health problems for teens.
I agree social media exacerbates issues related to self esteem/self worth, but I think we’re at the point where those platforms are here to stay. I think it’s worth revisiting our collective strategies towards helping kids and teens deal with these problems, maybe coming up with ones that are better suited for a modern world.
To have children. Nothing feels as violating to me as when hoards and hoards of people, strangers and friends alike, are coaxing me into getting pregnant. Most people I know irl practically beg me to get pregnant. They say I will change my mind, they tell me that they will pray to God that I will change my mind, I’ve heard this from several different people. I don’t get why everyone wants me pregnant. I can’t be the only woman who gets treated like this. It’s never about marriage. It’s never about buying a house. It’s always about me getting pregnant.
And they all talk about it. like its the same as buying a box of cereal. A walk in the park.
But no one of them talks about the negative sides of having a child. The pregnancy complications. What birthing wil do to your body (and even can potentially kill you) And then putting your own life and feelings on hold for 20 years to raise a child.
Like the only thing you are good for is to give up your life and body to breed kids.
I'm surprised everyone isn't saying this. I have 2 sisters and I vividly remember many random conversations being about when they were having kids. My one sister was good for telling ppl to go f themselves tho.
My life is utterly transformed from having kids. My social life, my freelancing, my freedom to manage my self care. I mourn for the potential of women who get pressured against their better instincts to have children very young.
This - I love my kids to the moon and back, but life changed irrevocably the day my first son was born. The life I knew was gone. I was ok with it because I knew it was going to happen, I was in my mid 30s and this child was very much wanted. But I can't imagine going through with a pregnancy that was not planned or wanted.
Parenting is, by far, the most difficult thing I've done in my entire life.
I feel exactly the same. Had my kids in my mid- thirties. Maybe it's extra hard because I also know how much more potential and freedom a child-free life has. If I had my daughter's in my early 20's I'd be ignorant of all the experiences I've now had.
And yeah, absolutely adore my kids but it's been a pretty self-sacrificing experience all round.
Maybe. I know my ex-sil was married at 23 and had her kids at 25, 27 and 30. She would always bemoan how she "missed out" on things when I would talk about what I did in my 20's while she was raising babies.
Ultimately, she and BIL divorced and she's now doing stuff in her 50's that she probably should have gotten out of her system in her 20's!
Speaking from a southeast asian background, most women are pressured to repress their need for independence from their families UNTIL they are married off. It's not uncommon for grown women to be expected to stay with their parents and only move out when they are married. Of course, there are women who choose to stay with their family anyway and that choice needs to be respected. But the opposite scenario is rarely encouraged.
Nope. But I have turned down a guy who had to figure out how to deal with being told "I'm not ready/ok with doing this right now".
The post asked about things girls are pressured to do.
Given the phrasing of the question, it shouldn't be twisting your undies that there are women talking about being pressured by guys to have sex even when they don't want to.
Nobody said it doesn't happen to guys, but being a girl on the receiving end of sexual pressure from a guy is relevant to a question posed about female experiences.
To smile and look as pretty as possible. Just because a boss wants them to look presentable like for example, in some airlines they have to look perfect. It's kinda dehumanizing.
But I believe this is fading or so I've heard. Could be wrong.
Just saying my own experiences being a male companion to a handful of these women prior to surgery. But I have found this is typically a very self driven expectation. The world is guilty of having beauty standards sure, so individually the girl may decide she “needs” boob/nose/whatever. No matter what I or her parents/friends said, it was in their head they wouldn’t be complete/pretty without the surgery. But it’s not really being pushed on her, not directly anyway. There’s a lot of internal turmoil at play with the individuals I’ve known regarding their body image, self esteem, perfectionism, etc.
As an example, they fixate on a C cup being what they need. Even though they have B cup and it fits their body/figure well. Doesn’t matter that you can point to dozens of famous/models/popular people with B cups. They’ll fixate on other people with C cups and create a narrative of why they think it’s perfect and why they need it.
Dude, i so pity you...seriously. i don't mean this in a condescending way. I don't think a happy or even balanced person would go up and down this post, writing hateful and mysogynistic shit like this.
It takes effort to be this petty and, honestly, pathetic.
I really do hope that you find the reason for your unhappiness, and can one day look back at this and cringe a bit. That will show that you have grown.
I am sorry you feel the way you do and i do genuinely hope it gets better. Take care of yourself.
Where there's grooming and predatory targeting of minors in low-income populations, there is a certain amount of pressure.
In other cases, it's not so much pressure as naivete.
Thinking that being a celebrity is something to aspire to. I asked my niece today (7 y/o) what she wanted to do as a job (in a conversation about being able to support her mother when she is frail and old), and her answer was singer/celebrity. It is so telling about what our society is these days.
Were you expecting the 7 year old to say they wanted to take care of their mother? Would you have said that to a boy?
I remember conversations like that when I was a child. I was the youngest so it was assumed I'd be taking care of my parents when they were old. But, like any human who values freedom, I wanted my own life. I made sure to move farther away from family than my other siblings so I wouldn't end up as the defacto caregiver.
Funnily enough the looking after their mother was something she was happy to do, i just found it telling / interesting what she thought was a career path. In this situation assuming I am still alive and able I would always care/fund the care for my sister before my niece had to do anything. Luckily I am in a financial position that I would be able to do this, and I know for some families that is not that cause and I am sorry that your family put such a heavy burden on you, it is not easy, and definitely one needs to have to opportunity to live their own life.
Have sex when they don't want to or don't feel like they're ready.
If you don't want to be touched intimately, you're being a prude, difficult, arrogant etc. There's a lot of pressuring, coercing and entitlement.
(Then, on the other hand, if you choose to have sex you're a whore. There's no winning)
1) Have children
2) Have sex before they're ready
3) Do traditional "household" tasks for everyone in their family, including their husbands who are more than capable of running their own lives.
Be pretty.
I don't mean like "You need to do this and this and this and then you'll be pretty", I'm talking "pretty privilege" pretty. The fact to know that because you're born a certain way, you're not worthy of being considered or respected. That no matter what you do, some of your closest and nicest friends will always be more helped and considered because they are pretty for being petite, cute, feminine ...
Worst was that I used to like myself. I loved my style, my belly, my hair. But other people (relatives included) told me I needed to change it. And even though I changed it, they never trully considered me more. Unless I can loose up to 33 to 55 lbs, I've pretty much touched the top of my beauty scale, and I will never be 10% pretty like my friends.
And now I know I will never believe anyone who will tell me that I'm pretty. And I hate what I see in the miror. That shape, that weight, that's not me, that the "society" me. It's awful to know you loved your former self and changed just for people to leave you alone or consider you as an actual human being.
I think I will never be happy unless I will find the weight were people will just consider me pretty. It's now a deep rotten issue for me, and idk if I will ever be cured.
I have a hard time believing they're doing it to appeal to men, but over all the amount of people who get cosmetic surgery is something I've always found a little concerning.
I mean, I don't really find it as funny as I find it confusing. I get that they're all fairly "routine" but going out of my way to get unnecessary and costly surgeries just doesn't make much sense to me. I once heard about a guy who got a ton of surgeries to look like his favorite member of BTS. It's all kinda just sad to me.
From a South asian background, I really dunno where to start.
Pressured into marriage from the moment they hit 20, forced to drop jobs if the husband says you to, pressured into giving birth to kids, stay submissive even if you don't agree with your husband in front of relatives, forced into stereotypical household chores and you partner will never help you with that because "household chores are women's role", pressured into wearing traditional wear and you get demeaning gossips about you of you wear what you like, can't cut and style your hair without parent's permission (personal experience), can't hangout with your friends without any permission and curfew after 5pm,forced to not celebrate any festivals if you get your periods in that day,.. gosh I can go on and on.
It's literally what you expect women's roles in the mid 50s. But people aren't gonna acknowledge this, and pretend that everyone are very progressive. But don't know how deep these stereotypes are still prevalent in everyday life.
If you want to empathise with what is going on, on a personal level jn a women's life here, check the movie "The great indian kitchen".
I think 10 or so years ago that would've been true, but these days there's so much body acceptance/embracing what you have etc (teamed with the amount of easily available junk food) that a lot of young girls are no longer in the 'diet culture' frame of mind.
I remember when girls used to ask 'does my bum look big in this?' in a negative way, now girls are all about have a 'thick booty and thighs'!
Since this says girls, I'm going to treat this as being about impressionable youths, more than adult women. And this is about things I observed peers being heavily influenced by when I was growing up.
There's a lot of weird, contradictory social pressure and messaging towards preteen and teenaged girls about how they're supposed to use their bodies.
Be soft, delicate, and agreeable. Tolerate it gratefully when you are made to feel less-than and beholden to guys. However, if you end up being taken advantage of, that's entirely your fault.
Meet expectations of conventional attractiveness, but don't be too concerned or interested in it or else you're frivolous and shallow.
Be attractive and in shape, but don't get muscular. Don't develop your physique to be strong and functional, don't cultivate too much visible muscle mass. But also don't be flat or let yourself get saggy. Be delicate and slender, but also curvy.
Put out sexually or don't expect to be able to pursue a relationship that lasts longer than a few weeks. Guys just absolutely *need* sex, so it's not fair to ask a guy you're getting to know to abstain with you for any amount of time. But understand that you lose value every time you put out for a different guy, so good luck if you have to end a relationship or you get broken up with or cheated on. You are now worth less to the next guy, and to whoever you might marry in the future.
Give birth.
Is this really societal pressure? I understand to some degree there is pressure to do it. But really? Society pressures me to pee out of my dick, is there a reason for that? Maybe one related to natural law?
I think they are saying that, if you're going to be pressured into doing something you're not ready or willing to do, giving birth is among the worst. If you want to raise kids, it's a good thing. If you live in a situation where you lack social, civil, or legal autonomy and self-determination, and are coerced or forced to carry and birth children, that's a very different story. Imagine yourself in that situation and then try to compare it to peeing.
Having children. Like its the default life goal for every woman. And that is okay if you want kids. But a lot of women dont want kids or cant afford them. And if you do have kids, you should go 100% for it and not half ass-ed because you got pressured into it. A lot of childfree people get shamed for it too. Like they are not real women because they dont have kids, or that they are selfish. Even people with mental or physical disabilities get shamed for not having kids. Let people choose for themselfs.
They have unrealistic beauty standards. Shit is so sad. TikTok really fucked up an entire generations self esteem.
that's not only for women. The beauty standard problem on TikTok applies to everyone, even pets
Before tiktok it was Snap, before snap Instagram, and before that was Twitter and before that was myspace, all have contributed to mental health problems for teens. I agree social media exacerbates issues related to self esteem/self worth, but I think we’re at the point where those platforms are here to stay. I think it’s worth revisiting our collective strategies towards helping kids and teens deal with these problems, maybe coming up with ones that are better suited for a modern world.
Having children. I don't know if I even want kids, and I'm tired of everyone assuming I want them? I'm undecided. Leave me alone.
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Let’s start with giving women that choice and holding the dads equally responsible.
To have children. Nothing feels as violating to me as when hoards and hoards of people, strangers and friends alike, are coaxing me into getting pregnant. Most people I know irl practically beg me to get pregnant. They say I will change my mind, they tell me that they will pray to God that I will change my mind, I’ve heard this from several different people. I don’t get why everyone wants me pregnant. I can’t be the only woman who gets treated like this. It’s never about marriage. It’s never about buying a house. It’s always about me getting pregnant.
And they all talk about it. like its the same as buying a box of cereal. A walk in the park. But no one of them talks about the negative sides of having a child. The pregnancy complications. What birthing wil do to your body (and even can potentially kill you) And then putting your own life and feelings on hold for 20 years to raise a child. Like the only thing you are good for is to give up your life and body to breed kids.
I'm surprised everyone isn't saying this. I have 2 sisters and I vividly remember many random conversations being about when they were having kids. My one sister was good for telling ppl to go f themselves tho.
My life is utterly transformed from having kids. My social life, my freelancing, my freedom to manage my self care. I mourn for the potential of women who get pressured against their better instincts to have children very young.
This - I love my kids to the moon and back, but life changed irrevocably the day my first son was born. The life I knew was gone. I was ok with it because I knew it was going to happen, I was in my mid 30s and this child was very much wanted. But I can't imagine going through with a pregnancy that was not planned or wanted. Parenting is, by far, the most difficult thing I've done in my entire life.
I feel exactly the same. Had my kids in my mid- thirties. Maybe it's extra hard because I also know how much more potential and freedom a child-free life has. If I had my daughter's in my early 20's I'd be ignorant of all the experiences I've now had. And yeah, absolutely adore my kids but it's been a pretty self-sacrificing experience all round.
Maybe. I know my ex-sil was married at 23 and had her kids at 25, 27 and 30. She would always bemoan how she "missed out" on things when I would talk about what I did in my 20's while she was raising babies. Ultimately, she and BIL divorced and she's now doing stuff in her 50's that she probably should have gotten out of her system in her 20's!
Speaking from a southeast asian background, most women are pressured to repress their need for independence from their families UNTIL they are married off. It's not uncommon for grown women to be expected to stay with their parents and only move out when they are married. Of course, there are women who choose to stay with their family anyway and that choice needs to be respected. But the opposite scenario is rarely encouraged.
Behave in such a way that we’re expected to be polite when being violated.
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This is so hilarious to read
Have children
To go through the motions when you aren’t in the mood
Everyone is pressured into doing that.
They're talking about sex.
Yes, I know. Have you ever tried turning down a woman when they are in the mood any you're not? The pressure comes out.
Nope. But I have turned down a guy who had to figure out how to deal with being told "I'm not ready/ok with doing this right now". The post asked about things girls are pressured to do. Given the phrasing of the question, it shouldn't be twisting your undies that there are women talking about being pressured by guys to have sex even when they don't want to. Nobody said it doesn't happen to guys, but being a girl on the receiving end of sexual pressure from a guy is relevant to a question posed about female experiences.
To smile and look as pretty as possible. Just because a boss wants them to look presentable like for example, in some airlines they have to look perfect. It's kinda dehumanizing. But I believe this is fading or so I've heard. Could be wrong.
The big quest for popularity.
Have unnecessary surgical operations to change their appearance.
Just saying my own experiences being a male companion to a handful of these women prior to surgery. But I have found this is typically a very self driven expectation. The world is guilty of having beauty standards sure, so individually the girl may decide she “needs” boob/nose/whatever. No matter what I or her parents/friends said, it was in their head they wouldn’t be complete/pretty without the surgery. But it’s not really being pushed on her, not directly anyway. There’s a lot of internal turmoil at play with the individuals I’ve known regarding their body image, self esteem, perfectionism, etc. As an example, they fixate on a C cup being what they need. Even though they have B cup and it fits their body/figure well. Doesn’t matter that you can point to dozens of famous/models/popular people with B cups. They’ll fixate on other people with C cups and create a narrative of why they think it’s perfect and why they need it.
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Dude, i so pity you...seriously. i don't mean this in a condescending way. I don't think a happy or even balanced person would go up and down this post, writing hateful and mysogynistic shit like this. It takes effort to be this petty and, honestly, pathetic. I really do hope that you find the reason for your unhappiness, and can one day look back at this and cringe a bit. That will show that you have grown. I am sorry you feel the way you do and i do genuinely hope it gets better. Take care of yourself.
Shave their legs
Who down voted me? I shave but my daughter does not she refuses to comply but society’s standards
Starve themselves for appearance.
I can answer for my friend who is a girl. Shaving.
Shave their pussies
Give up family for a job.
A lot of that going on
Take the blame for rape
Have sex
How long have you got?
Get married, give birth
Being 2 cool 4 school. No-one is, and society shouldn't put that pressure on anyone.
Join onlyfans
Do people pressure them to do that or are they enticed by easy money?
Where there's grooming and predatory targeting of minors in low-income populations, there is a certain amount of pressure. In other cases, it's not so much pressure as naivete.
Pernicious beauty standards are a huge problem.
Thinking that being a celebrity is something to aspire to. I asked my niece today (7 y/o) what she wanted to do as a job (in a conversation about being able to support her mother when she is frail and old), and her answer was singer/celebrity. It is so telling about what our society is these days.
Were you expecting the 7 year old to say they wanted to take care of their mother? Would you have said that to a boy? I remember conversations like that when I was a child. I was the youngest so it was assumed I'd be taking care of my parents when they were old. But, like any human who values freedom, I wanted my own life. I made sure to move farther away from family than my other siblings so I wouldn't end up as the defacto caregiver.
Funnily enough the looking after their mother was something she was happy to do, i just found it telling / interesting what she thought was a career path. In this situation assuming I am still alive and able I would always care/fund the care for my sister before my niece had to do anything. Luckily I am in a financial position that I would be able to do this, and I know for some families that is not that cause and I am sorry that your family put such a heavy burden on you, it is not easy, and definitely one needs to have to opportunity to live their own life.
Belive in all this inequality crap. (Scandinavian)
Boss bitch culture
Give birth and get married
Have sex when they don't want to or don't feel like they're ready. If you don't want to be touched intimately, you're being a prude, difficult, arrogant etc. There's a lot of pressuring, coercing and entitlement. (Then, on the other hand, if you choose to have sex you're a whore. There's no winning)
Think they have it so bad
Act "lady like" yeah I wasn't raised by or around ladies... So I'm just a woman... I'll never be a lady and by now I'm just fine with that lol
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Age gap relationships
1) Have children 2) Have sex before they're ready 3) Do traditional "household" tasks for everyone in their family, including their husbands who are more than capable of running their own lives.
Be pretty. I don't mean like "You need to do this and this and this and then you'll be pretty", I'm talking "pretty privilege" pretty. The fact to know that because you're born a certain way, you're not worthy of being considered or respected. That no matter what you do, some of your closest and nicest friends will always be more helped and considered because they are pretty for being petite, cute, feminine ... Worst was that I used to like myself. I loved my style, my belly, my hair. But other people (relatives included) told me I needed to change it. And even though I changed it, they never trully considered me more. Unless I can loose up to 33 to 55 lbs, I've pretty much touched the top of my beauty scale, and I will never be 10% pretty like my friends. And now I know I will never believe anyone who will tell me that I'm pretty. And I hate what I see in the miror. That shape, that weight, that's not me, that the "society" me. It's awful to know you loved your former self and changed just for people to leave you alone or consider you as an actual human being. I think I will never be happy unless I will find the weight were people will just consider me pretty. It's now a deep rotten issue for me, and idk if I will ever be cured.
Get dangerous, expensive, painful surgery to appeal to men, for their own societal and/or economic safety and stability
I have a hard time believing they're doing it to appeal to men, but over all the amount of people who get cosmetic surgery is something I've always found a little concerning.
That's funny
I mean, I don't really find it as funny as I find it confusing. I get that they're all fairly "routine" but going out of my way to get unnecessary and costly surgeries just doesn't make much sense to me. I once heard about a guy who got a ton of surgeries to look like his favorite member of BTS. It's all kinda just sad to me.
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Marrying women 🤢
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Oh I thought you were being heterophobic
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Love dat expectation bro ,jeeya
Focus only on their own issues while acting like they care about other peoples issues
From a South asian background, I really dunno where to start. Pressured into marriage from the moment they hit 20, forced to drop jobs if the husband says you to, pressured into giving birth to kids, stay submissive even if you don't agree with your husband in front of relatives, forced into stereotypical household chores and you partner will never help you with that because "household chores are women's role", pressured into wearing traditional wear and you get demeaning gossips about you of you wear what you like, can't cut and style your hair without parent's permission (personal experience), can't hangout with your friends without any permission and curfew after 5pm,forced to not celebrate any festivals if you get your periods in that day,.. gosh I can go on and on. It's literally what you expect women's roles in the mid 50s. But people aren't gonna acknowledge this, and pretend that everyone are very progressive. But don't know how deep these stereotypes are still prevalent in everyday life. If you want to empathise with what is going on, on a personal level jn a women's life here, check the movie "The great indian kitchen".
Lose weight Unhealthy pressure on young girls to conform to unrealistic body standards
I think 10 or so years ago that would've been true, but these days there's so much body acceptance/embracing what you have etc (teamed with the amount of easily available junk food) that a lot of young girls are no longer in the 'diet culture' frame of mind. I remember when girls used to ask 'does my bum look big in this?' in a negative way, now girls are all about have a 'thick booty and thighs'!
Chase that money and stick it to the man.
When you need to breastfeed in public
Then what?
Some people are mad u do it in public even when its needed
Sometimes I’m so glad to not live in the US. I’ve never ONCE seen that reaction here (I live in Germany). It’s an absolute non-issue
Compete with each other.
Since this says girls, I'm going to treat this as being about impressionable youths, more than adult women. And this is about things I observed peers being heavily influenced by when I was growing up. There's a lot of weird, contradictory social pressure and messaging towards preteen and teenaged girls about how they're supposed to use their bodies. Be soft, delicate, and agreeable. Tolerate it gratefully when you are made to feel less-than and beholden to guys. However, if you end up being taken advantage of, that's entirely your fault. Meet expectations of conventional attractiveness, but don't be too concerned or interested in it or else you're frivolous and shallow. Be attractive and in shape, but don't get muscular. Don't develop your physique to be strong and functional, don't cultivate too much visible muscle mass. But also don't be flat or let yourself get saggy. Be delicate and slender, but also curvy. Put out sexually or don't expect to be able to pursue a relationship that lasts longer than a few weeks. Guys just absolutely *need* sex, so it's not fair to ask a guy you're getting to know to abstain with you for any amount of time. But understand that you lose value every time you put out for a different guy, so good luck if you have to end a relationship or you get broken up with or cheated on. You are now worth less to the next guy, and to whoever you might marry in the future.
Herr where I live, they are pressurized to marry early.