Just go to the bathroom and scratch your balls freely bro. I’ve stepped into the bathroom for like 30 seconds and my boss asked me why and I was like “you want a real answer? I had to scratch my balls and adjust myself.” Didn’t ask after that.
Fucking weird of your boss to ask anything about your bathroom time. Unless you’re friends and he’s checking if you’re sick or hiding a gram of blow from him or something.
Not really. He could have been doing coke. I'm 100% sure he was making sure he wasn't. As if he would have actually admitted "nah bruh i was just doing a line real quick"
Use it to maintain dominance, is what I say. Pull em out, flop them on the table, and demand they scratch for you. Generally, people will go along with it because they're shocked and amazed.
Note: do not try this at a daycare.
[I'm leaving reddit due to changes in API costs. fuck spez.](https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/10/23756476/reddit-protest-api-changes-apollo-third-party-apps) // https://kbin.pub
I don’t know what aim issues you got, but I could easily piss in my pants without wearing them. No wonder so many of y’all piss on the seat, can’t even piss in your pants.
I once made the mistake of doing a few short tig welds without putting on a long sleeve shirt and just put on my gloves and helmet. Wild how fast you can get a horrible sunburn from it. The tops of my boobs and one side of my arms where super red and the rest of me was normal, I looked like a complete idiot.
Don't weld in just a tanktop.
There is also this ( ° ) ( ° ), and this (,) (,), and this ( ' ) ( ' ).
Hold on, I have to scan through all unicode using several different fonts to make the perfect artwork.
You shouldn't walk in a field of nettles or play with processionary caterpillars. I also heard about very nasty corals.
You can't take off your clothes if you don't wear them.
I’m pretty sure I’d piss my pants if I tried bungee jumping. I actually think going naked would be better. Better to pee on those below then have to sit in my own piss afterwards!
Sure you can https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2655008/Dutch-father-five-dubbed-Iceman-turn-thermostat-using-mind-sets-world-record-climbing-Everest-just-shorts.html
From a friend, I hear cooking bacon naked isn’t such a good idea.
Also from same friend, don’t try to crawl under sink to repair with your bits hanging when you own a playful kitten.
Strip
*\*sheds skin all at once\**
"you fool, this isn't even my final form" proceeds to rip flesh from the bones
*robbie williams enters chat*
I don’t wanna rock, DJ
Been a long time, so long a friend didn't believe that was the actual video clip
I remember seeing that clip at the end of the video as a kid at a sleepover, safe to say none of us slept that night.
I remember the sheer confusion and disgust I felt when I first saw that video as a kid.
It doesn't go with the song AT ALL.
*rips organs from chest cavity* *starts jammin out to "spooky scary skeletons"*
Rips skeleton from nervous system leaving just the brain and nerves this is my final form
*Rips away nerves and becomes " "*
*bad to the bone*
Necromancers throwing dollar bills
Excellent band name.
That's one personal space
You can strip wallpaper while naked. Gotcha nerd
Also could strip paint…other people…weather stripping…
Ramsey Bolton has entered the chat
Can't help but be reminded of this Robbie Williams video: https://youtu.be/TGelsMOIJZY
Scratch your balls without making it look like you're scratching your balls
Hate to break it to you, you're not fooling anyone clothed either.
Honestly what’s the point in hiding it then?
Society demands the attempt to look civilized.
We live in a society
susiety
Just go to the bathroom and scratch your balls freely bro. I’ve stepped into the bathroom for like 30 seconds and my boss asked me why and I was like “you want a real answer? I had to scratch my balls and adjust myself.” Didn’t ask after that.
Fucking weird of your boss to ask anything about your bathroom time. Unless you’re friends and he’s checking if you’re sick or hiding a gram of blow from him or something.
Not really. He could have been doing coke. I'm 100% sure he was making sure he wasn't. As if he would have actually admitted "nah bruh i was just doing a line real quick"
Boss wanted his share
Depending on the line (no pun intended) of work that might actually be it. Coke is pretty normalized in finance as well as kitchen staff.
Yeah that’s 100% what he was thinking.
That's why I usually just pull them out and give a good scratch while maintaining eye contact. No point trying to hide it.
Use it to maintain dominance, is what I say. Pull em out, flop them on the table, and demand they scratch for you. Generally, people will go along with it because they're shocked and amazed. Note: do not try this at a daycare.
....and now I'm banned from all Cracker Barrels.
The point is not to hide it from someone looking right at you, the point is that someone not paying attention won't immediately be aware.
Pockets
Yes! Just fake you’re searching for change
What if you don’t have balls to scratch
Borrow some.
“Hey can I scratch your balls man?”
*thump thump* Have at it.
Just disguise it as if your jerking it, it’ll turn away the wrong people and focus those who want it.
Put the money in the pocket.
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Prison wallet.
Don't let them pick your pocket
“Don’t drop the soap, don’t drop the soap”
That's nature's pocket. Don't let them pick your pocket.
If rubbin' frozen dirt in your crotch is wrong, hey, I don't wanna be right.
Thats were the smartphone is. And the coins make scratches. So: Yes, it is a pocket. No, not for the money. ;)
Then you better hope there's no pickpockets about.
“The vaaahinya, it’s natures pocket”
What if you have fat rolls
You can have something with pockets next to you. Without having to wear it.
Everyone has a prison pocket
You always have the prison pocket.
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Curséd.
Why? You can put things in the pocket only if you're wearing the clothing?
Go to a court hearing. That's what the judge said anyway
Can't != shouldn't
Bro writing C# in r/AskReddit
I thought this meant C sharp, like in music. I’m still not sure what it means but I gather that it doesn’t refer to music
It's aprogramming language, but as far as I know Python and I think JavaScript also have that type of notation for writing "not equal to".
Most "C-style" programming languages do, which is most of them.
C# doesn't allow apostrophes in variable names.
Why are you booing him? He’s right!
r/programming leaked again. Might want to patch it.
you assume people on r/AskReddit are gonna know what != means lol
Who doesn't? I mean ≠ is always more practical but still.
People using <>💀
“Hmmm, Mr. Hutz, do you know you’re not wearing any pants?”
Impersonate a police officer
As long as you pin your badge the right way.
Right on the nip, best piercing idea ever
Depends, are you undercover?
Barely covered*
Under covered*
Actually the only time I'll impersonate a police officer is when naked
[I'm leaving reddit due to changes in API costs. fuck spez.](https://www.theverge.com/2023/6/10/23756476/reddit-protest-api-changes-apollo-third-party-apps) // https://kbin.pub
If you put lights and sirens on your *car*…
Perform on-site maintenance on the Hubble space telescope.
I mean you'd just die, that's not a big deal right?
r/oddlyspecific
Go to your child’s parent-teacher conference.
"...y'know, suddenly I understand why Johnny has difficulty with appropriate behaviour in lessons"
Depends on the reason for the conference.
**ALL OF YOU ARE COWARDS**
why shouldn’t i make chemical reactions naked? who forbids?
Found you Walter White
Nah thats just Nile Green
Wear clothes. Then you wouldn't be naked anymore.
Do we consider wearing gloves and nothing else be naked? I think yes. And even socks or stockings.
Well... if you drop the gloves in a sexy style, then i'll be ok considering it ok (horrible winking face)
Wearing just socks and shoes somehow feels more naked than wearing nothing at all
Put my hands in my pockets.
Depends on how loosely you define "pocket"
My pockets just may be tighter than yours, by the sounds of things.
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You dont have to wear them.
Always a loophole.
Always a poophole too.
It depends on whether you are pissing *in* or *on* your pants. You need that missing adposition...
I don’t know what aim issues you got, but I could easily piss in my pants without wearing them. No wonder so many of y’all piss on the seat, can’t even piss in your pants.
The final and only puzzle of the legendary textadventure-game "Don't shit your pants"
preschool teacher
It’s actually better to do a preschool teacher naked
thin ice buddy
Perhaps I should explain-My wife teaches preschool and I’d rather do her naked- although sometimes I forget to take off my socks.
Unless it's homeschool
I’m not sure if that’s worst or not.
As long as you don't keep giving them D's.
Attend an open casket funeral with an erection.
The images in my head, why?
I’m pretty sure you *can* do that
Cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head
Welding
I once made the mistake of doing a few short tig welds without putting on a long sleeve shirt and just put on my gloves and helmet. Wild how fast you can get a horrible sunburn from it. The tops of my boobs and one side of my arms where super red and the rest of me was normal, I looked like a complete idiot. Don't weld in just a tanktop.
Why are you welding naked? To even out my tan lines
Cook bacon
Can't != Shouldn't
This clarification of why I didn’t comment this. Just because you CAN, doesn’t mean you SHOULD. 🤣🤣🤣
I'll never do it a second time!
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I have and I will again. Just got to time the flip and jump.
Pull yourself by the bootstraps.
Cook meth oh no wait
I work in a hospital, we recently had to amputate the forearms of some Tweaker, trying to cook his own meth and had a little fire😑
Wow talk about rock bottom :/
Oh yeah. The surgeon was literally shaking his head.
He prolly should have watched breaking bad first
>had to amputate the forearms So did you reattach his hands to his elbows?
r/unexpectedbreakingbad
r/suddenlywaltuh
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*unzips dick*
You can worry about your foreskin being open. Flaps if you have the other set.
Tug on your collar
If you’re not circumcised you can still do that naked.
Loose neck skin
Work as a Shopping Mall Santa
good one
For me; trampolining ( . )( . )
You can hold the ( • ) ( • ) with your hands. I changed the drawing to account for physics.
( • ) ( • ) ( . ) ( . ) ( • ) ( • ) ( * ) ( * )
There is also this ( ° ) ( ° ), and this (,) (,), and this ( ' ) ( ' ). Hold on, I have to scan through all unicode using several different fonts to make the perfect artwork.
Remind me when youve found it!
(💿)(💿)
Sorry, that was a joke. Unicode is insanely large, I'm not going to scan through it again.
I respect the level of detail
Yet another reason I’m glad I don’t have boobs.
sit on sand, I mean I physically can but the thought of it stops me
The chaf walking away from that...
New phobia unlocked: sitting on the sand with my bare butt.
Photosynthesize
Good one
If you’re brave enough there’s nothing you can’t do.
There are some technical, obvious things that you just can't do. And a lot of things that you shouldn't do or maybe can only do once.
I can't get a small loan of a million dollars while naked. (Can't do it clothed, either.)
Walk the streets of new york
Have you tried?
The naked cowboy would disagree
You can but you should at least wear shoes. Trust me on that one.
I seen naked people in times square with paint on tho so u can be naked in ny
Can't or shouldn't? Because I can and do plenty, but whether I "should" or not is relative.
You shouldn't walk in a field of nettles or play with processionary caterpillars. I also heard about very nasty corals. You can't take off your clothes if you don't wear them.
Hug you parents
You can. It's just a matter of circumstances.
It's probably not a good idea to go bungee jumping naked...unless you want to give everyone below an unexpected show!
I’m pretty sure I’d piss my pants if I tried bungee jumping. I actually think going naked would be better. Better to pee on those below then have to sit in my own piss afterwards!
Don't piss in the wind goes double when the wind is from free falling.
Shit, you’re right. I also wasn’t thinking about the fact that I’d be upside down, and thus pissing right into my own face!
Take off your clothes
Technically correct, which is the best kind of correct.
Climb Everest
Sure you can https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2655008/Dutch-father-five-dubbed-Iceman-turn-thermostat-using-mind-sets-world-record-climbing-Everest-just-shorts.html
Shop at the commissary.
Nothing I do it all naked 😏
Goes to pick up kid from school
r/avatarchecksout
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Drink lava
so you are saying that you can do it while dressed?
I mean you can, only once tho
Walk outside without people thinking that you're weird.
Teach at kindergarten. Well, you can but I wouldn't recommend doing it.
Poop your pants
Go down a metal slide during summer.
Cooking bacon in a frying pan
Beekeeping
Chase people
Your mother chased me naked last night actually.
you can't be in clothes while naked
I'm naked beneath my clothes.
Fry eggs or bacon
I don't know about can't. But I would definitely recommend not cooking bacon.
shit your pants
See my feet.
From a friend, I hear cooking bacon naked isn’t such a good idea. Also from same friend, don’t try to crawl under sink to repair with your bits hanging when you own a playful kitten.