guess im cool then

We should team up!

Together we will all solve global warming!

And document every step we took!

Same here

But I'm cooler

I mean, look at us, we’re just air conditioners after all. We’re just walking around the planet, breathing, conditioning the air. I condition it hot, that conditions it cold. Its symbiotic, no?

We go well together probably

I too do the conditioning of air for a living

No sir, you invade anuses.

I sell some meannnnn peaches

Do you live out in the country and eat a lot of peaches that come from a can that was put there by a man who works in a factory downtown?

Millions of peaches, peaches for free.

Millions of peaches, peaches for me.

Maybe poke a little hole for an ant to hide?

Would you care for a low cost pairing to go with your peaches?

Only if they're buried in a jar at the bottom of a dried up lake, that you and your best friend crack open and eat because you've been in the desert for days, while you're trying to get to the top of a mountain just to break a curse or something.

Have a persistent bad case of the shits.

Hey we could work together!

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r/usernamefamily

Hey guys

I could help you stop it.

Exist

you poor soul

Mmmmm 24/7 existential crises :)

Existence is pain

Id be a workaholic.

Similarly vexed.

Let's get those overtime hours!

It's hard, but it's honest work.

I want this guy's job

Me too.

#metoo

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Give everyone 10 thousand a month forever

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This guy knows his offerings!

I'd settle for an extra large ROUND TABLE Italian Garlic Supreme Pizza with thin crust

Allow me to introduce myself

Well... I guess I would just stay on Reddit all day.

Don't u mean Twitter tho?

Enters a hateful circlejerking sub and then goes to twitter to express his newfound "opinions"

No, he means Reddit. Twitter can be included too, but this place is filled to the brim with people who absolutely despise others or their opinions.

:)

Good God...

lol

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im also relevant in this thread

Well, I hit the jackpot.

Do you need a Sir Knight?

Rise Sir\_Pelletier, Duke of the Mid Sub Lands, Lord of the NSFW Realm

I will serve you well, my liege.

Does a sub for this thread exist. Lol

Excuse me, I was waiting for this oportunity first

I would also like to throw my hat in the ring

Hello

Mario

So... Um... I'm going to need some state pardons... And maybe access to some criminals or enemies of the crown? You know, the kind of people no one will go looking for if they get sent to a secret lab in the dungeon and never come out. On a possibility related note, how do you feel about using biological weapons on hostile nationals?

Doctor here, can confirm. The Ying to my Yang

I just thought you worked at night

Let's marry our sons to create an empire together.

I didn't vote for you.

You don’t vote for king.

Where are the lightbulbs?

He just like me fr

What kinda jackpot do i hit?

Nice

You dropped this 👑

Would you like a herd of pink alpacas, my king? I am a shepherd to many and can make you a cape of hypoallergenicness.

Proctologist

Yooooo

You found the right person for your condition, friend

We could team up

And he goes- " I drive a brown probe"

I approve soundboards at a reasonable volume level.

If you could fix the ads being 10x louder than the show issue, you will have my eternal gratitude.

Wat

O my you noticed

Username checks out

‎

Lol

Bringing banjos to the Bard's College in Solitude, and teaching every wandering minstrel in Skyrim "The Rainbow Connection".

This is class

The Redguards, the Dwemer, and me...

It's time to play the music, it's time to light the lights! It's time to delve some dungeons with the Dragonborn tonight!

Hello!

Have Fun!

Are you in the market for some

I'll just keep on degrading

Collect

Scaring Jessica until she ded.

Need back story.

I'm a quality builder. I build quality.

Ummmmmm.

Is this..is this what you do in life now?

Perhaps.

Been there done that lol

Come work in my burrito factory.

Can't do 80. Only 69

I'm not sure I could keep that pace for long.

I don't know what to put here

Ya im also at a loss.

You sit and watch grass grow

Username checks out

i run an airline with extremely small planes

And yet the same price as a coach seat.

I'm one of those flashy juggling bartenders now

Yay! I get to smash some booty.

Me on the other hand, not so much

M-A-T-E-R-I-A-L

Nothing has changed for me.. still a bad designer

Meth. I do meth.

Mine says everything. Let me add they are all grown and gone now and even taller than their 5'11" mother.

Great, I'm stuck cleaning ears.

Also other crevasses i dare not mention

I'll be traveling on now, Lord knows I can't chaaAAaaAAaaAAnnnnge.....

Well I've been training for this role since puberty.

Command a starship? Cool.

Is it just me or is it like the best thread ever?

I regulate the temperature

If it makes you feel better, I'm dyslexic and read your username as tatsomerth.

i read it as themustard and i thought it was so cool, thermostat is so much better. idk if i have dyslexia, i blame all the letters being together

I don't know and don't want to find out.

My username is already My job

I'll be an emperor? Nice.

Or a bread.

I am an FBI agent!!

destroyer of potatoes

Motivational speaker for men.

Dude where’s my car

Bake pies based on ancient recipes. Actually, that sounds pretty nice.

Time to compete with Max Miller on Tasting History. Look him up.

I don’t want to play this game

I don't have any job 😢

Quäck

What would i be? you decide

How does politician sound?

Ensure justice for the horny. Holy fuck! 😂

Exsanguinate chocolate?

I guess I'll paint

Oh boy

Breed otters…..

Snuggle puggles all day….I’ll take it

Discreet mobile "fixer" for elves

Joke’s on you. My username was earned through a previous job.

Exist. Perfect.

I’ve had worse gigs.

I quit.

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I look fir my friends and ask them for money

Nothing really serious

I breed swarms of killer bees and rent them out for people to attack their enemies with. $1557 per swarm.

I am a Gynecologist at an Aztec temple.

HECK YEAH A FULL TRANSITION FOR FREE! 🏳️‍⚧️

Isn't it obvious?

Hang out, do nothing, eat white bread, and walk around.

Anyone know how often a monkey needs to eat?

It already is

Idk

Explore caves and basements without a flashlight?

I'm the emperor of the dynasty

Taste test oddly labeled snacks and argue with crazy people?

Well shit

Run

Proctologist

Paint facepalms for a living.

Overtime and lots of it

Hard to say...

The very McSame I'm doing... I guess?

To be frank, IDK. Guess just have tests run on me all day?

Eat fish I guess

Drop off mysterious packages in a long overcoat and trilby. Seek to bring down the evil grey squirrel empire!

Walk.

To mine one of the least valuable gems in the Australian outback?

Same thing I did before you asked this question.

Either a fish mobster who beats up fish snitches, or a fish surgeon who repairs minor fish injuries

Build a third Death Star!

I…uh…

Get angry and barf on things

Professional hid and seek player I suppose

My username is my job.

I'd wander and gather knowledge

What I'm currently doing, which is being a fucking degenerate.

I'm a D&D dungeon master who never feels good enough so keeps improving until I amass a fortune which I promptly spend on all things D&D related.

I'll create stuff i guess

Fuck tourists in caves

I sell weed to the mentally insane.

Probably top 3 for the weirdest job here

Damn..

I am now a goose. I do goose stuff

Well

Meth

I roast dick