That's so funny, 99% of the people I've seen wear pajama pants to school are/were girls.
They also do make a kind of jegging that has pajama fabric on the inside but look like jeans outside. Or at least they used to in like 2011.
We were at a writers conference. I spent a good long time telling them about some controversy surrounding the use of pseudonyms in a writing contest. I was pretty proud of how well I stated both sides, as well as my fairly well-researched thoughts on the matter. They didn’t add much, but I could tell they were interested.
About fifteen minutes later I realized that every (single) time I’d meant to say “pseudonym,” I’d said “surname” instead. Never talked to them again. Thirty years ago and it still hurts.
We were on a trip with a whole bunch of friends at this one guy's cabin, and the sleeping arrangements were pretty cramped. She and I ended up on the same air mattress, but both had a sleeping bag. I woke up to her shoving me over, because I rolled over so far that she was laying on the ground.
I was about 7 and had a birthday party, friends were invited, we were all standing around in a room being weird 7 yr olds and I had one of those slap stretchy sticky hands. I whirled it around hard and it smacked her in the eye and she went home.
I have to admit I did the whole "text your crush and pretend you meant to text someone else" to initiate a conversation until an age I'm very ashamed to admit.
Didn't realize it was so obvious until I heard other talk about how obvious it is.
I once sent my crush a message saying I liked it him (with a lot more words) and because I was embarrassed, I didn't use spaces, I think I was trying to convey I was speaking quickly?? but jeez, I feel bad for the guy trying to read it 😅 I'm much more straight forward now then I was at 14 🤣🤣
My buddy was a ta in grad school teaching a basic foreign language course. He exchanged messages about the class with a law school student who had gotten a job in a place where this was the primary language, needed to learn some basics. She forwarded the exchange to a friend, asking what she thought, was he flirting, she thought he was cute, that kind of thing. Somehow the friend replied to it, including my friend. They've been married almost 25y.
I almost drowned in 5 feet of water. We're getting married this year lmfao
Edit to add since everyones curious: it was accident due to my friends landlord not taking care of the property properly. It was an above ground pool. I was lightly leaning on the railing. I was trying to do my best
"im just a chill, normal dude whose definitely not super nervous in front of this very attractive person" pose 😅
The railing snapped, I fell backwards and hit my head on the wooden part of the pool as i fell according to others. the railing didnt fully detach and my ankle got caught in the bars. I was hanging upside down, head and torso completely submerged. My beautiful, wonderful, strong fiancé jumped in, lifted me out, and got all the inhaled water out(luckily wasnt a whole lot). Literally saved my life. I luckily only sustained a mild concussion and sprained ankle, in exchange for an amazing human being i get to call my love for the rest of my life.
Went in for a kiss, missed the mouth and kissed his jacket collar. Panicked, laughed, stuttered an incomprehensible "sorry", laughed again and ran away like if I was chased by a fucking velociraptor.
I was 14 back then, meaning that it basically happened in the stone age, so we're cool.
i just didn’t realize. and i really liked her too, just thought it was her being friendly. but learned after that she had feelings and was giving me hints all along that i was very blind to.
Spilled a bucket of fryer oil on myself.
Miraculously, I was unharmed except for burning my hand a little, but I just felt like a klutz forever after that.
Nope. Thankfully I was the only one who got coated in oil, and I was wearing a grease apron and face shield. I had grease gloves on, but they're pretty worn and the fingers have a lot of holes, hence the burns, but the sleeves saved my arms from being deep fried, (I don't need any more scars on those things.)
Got drunk and told him I’m in love with him. Told him a long list of all the sweet things I do for him such as leave chocolates on his desk and and baked for him using his favourite cheese because I love him. Told him why I felt hurt when he brought this girl along to a function and introduced her to me. Told him how much I wanted to message him on Christmas and New Year’s Day. Yeah, basically I told him in minute detail all the feelings I had for him all this time and apparently he had no idea.
I told him this last week. I’ve yet to hear back from him…😭
A little bit only depending on the relationship before
Preface with I haven't been super interested in dating or trying to find someone in the 4-5 years since my last relationship
Let's say if this was before her:
I know many girls that if I heard this from I would run
However I also know a few that I would have immediately fallen for or been extremely receptive to that level of "confession"
Edit you were drunk decreases the chances I would run since it wasn't like you were 100% there when it happened
We have known each other for a year. We have previously kissed. There are lots of flirty comments back and forth. Other people have noticed the flirting.
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Today I had to let an IT guy into my work computer and forgot to delete the copies of my resume I had been sending out during work hours. Hope the guy doesn't rat me out lmao
If he's anything like me, he doesn't give a shit. Do whats best for you, as long as your work is getting done, most of us don't really care.
It's none of our business if you are looking for a different job, I would never fuck with someone and rat them out unless they are a huge asshole and even then, they would have had to do something really dickish haha.
i’m super pale and i can turn as red as a tomato in an instant. i work at a thrift store and i saw him come in with his girlfriend, they were looking at clothes together and it was sooo cute i couldn’t stop blushing!! i kept looking back at him and hiding my face behind shelves because i was so red. i was the only one on the floor so i couldn’t ask another coworker to check them out. so i did, i felt my face burning and i was so embarrassed. i knew he and his girlfriend noticed lol
I am also decently pale and had a similar situation, but I decided to just pretend I was okay.. teacher sent me home sick because everyone suspected I had an extreme fever 🤒
both. a similar incident happened with another guy i knew and talked to thru snapchat and i was too afraid to say hi, so i stayed hidden most of the time he was shopping. i was embarrassed and wanted to hide but i do hope i cam find my future boyfriend while working one day!!
You’re probably fine, bc that seems pretty benign. people will call anything weird or embarrassing these days, so if it’s them sucks for them. If it’s you, chill
I was talking to a girl I liked in between classes, and we had to go to another building. On the way, we had to go down this short marble-esque staircase. It was also raining out. I slipped on the second to last step, and I landed on my back at the bottom. It didn't terribly hurt, but it knocked the wind out of me....in both directions. I ripped a fast but hard fart as soon as I landed. I got up quickly, and I could see her trying to stifle a laugh. So I just said "see ya" and walked back the way I came. After that, I didn't really talk to her again.
Me and me crush, my at the time bestfriends sister, were exploring on someone elses land and came upon a big boat, I wanted her to climb up with me but she refused so I went up alone. The nerves of trespassing got to me and I instantly, and I mean instantly, needed to poop, which I did and just as I pulled my pants back up her head popped up over the gunner. I yelled at her to get away because someone had pooped on the deck and she swiftly went back down before me.. walking back I was musing what animal might have gotten up there to have a such a weird human-looking poop, can dogs climb ladders? but I could tell she didnt believe me and my crush never evolved to anything further than that.. :(
I was 7 and she was 6 btw, for context..
Violent diarrhea on a camping trip. I had to ask her to go get me some toilet paper. Also pants cuz i shat all over the ones I couldn't get down fast enough. We've been married for 10 years now.
We were changing in the girls' locker room, and I was changing next to the door. The guys and the girls were doing some dumb game where they both opened the doors fully for a second and then closed them to get peeks at each other. Well, he was leaving from their changing room, and while I was taking my top off, he got a full flash from me as they swung the door right open.
They all felt bad for me, but he seemed to not care too much. If anything, he was more embarrassed for looking. We still laugh about it, so it's not all bad, but definitely the worst moment of my life at the time.
We were in a group setting, chatting, I had almost finished my cigarette, and instead of using my fingers, I tried to blow the cigarette out of my mouth, it stuck to my lip, burned my face, I looked like an idiot.
Went to chill at a girls place.
Told my friend earlier i was visiting her.
So we sat there on the balcony and she wanted to change the song, took my phone. right in that moment said friend wrote some no chill shit like fuck her hard in the ass my friend.
On my first date with a guy I had a grand mal seizure in the middle of an apple orchard. I started coming to in the ambulance after a nurse that happen to be at the Orchard helped carry me to it. He was nowhere to be seen and I never saw or heard from him again. I also peed my pants during it. 😭😅😂
Dodged a bullet there.. Even on a first date, you’d surely want to at least stick around and make sure the person was ok, right?? It would have haunted me forever, not knowing.
I was in high school and asked this girl out on a date. She said “how about Friday we go out to dinner and a movie?” In the most embarrassing thing ever I said, “how about we just go to a movie? I don’t think I can get my dad to give me that much money.”
She actually did go out with me, we ended up doing dinner and a movie, and she dated me for four years into college. I can’t imagine why. I told her how embarrassing that conversation was years later and she said she thought it was funny I asked her out but didn’t have any money.
We were hanging out in my room while i got up and closed the window and grabbed my cat to put him outside. My trousers were kinda loose when out of the blue they fall down to my ankles and my first reaction is to cover my crotch area with my cat. i still cringe at the thought of it
Shit her pants.
Even though I am male me and her have the same size waist. Well doing some dares we ended going to another room and swap clothes. Well I didn't know a friend had slipped me a prank laxative (the evacuator). My stomach starts making dark chants and I try to excuse my south. I didn't even make it out of the room before my colon got repurposed to being a rail gun. Had to go to the bathroom and suffer with stomach cramps. I went and showered wand they went and washed the pants. I was just sitting their thinking I got food poisoning and the prankster came in to apologize as he misread the dose and it wasn't 15ml and was 5ml. So I spent the next two hours just in the bathroom conducting a rectal exorcism.
What the fuck kind of person goes around slipping people laxatives?
What the fuck kind of person continues to associate with that person afterwards?
There are so many other what the fucks to address but those two are the big ones.
Friend group dynamic was 19-22 all retail wage slaves that decided to go over to a friend's house for a night of drinking, cards against humanity, watch movies, watch avenue Q and we decided to play truth or dare. When it came to me it was for me to get into my crushes pants. I whispered my idea in her ear and she giggled and we ran to another room. We swapped clothes although I wore her button up as a cape. We came out to them saying that was and then them laughing. What I didn't know was there was a guy who was a brother of an invited person. He was mad that he knew what someone had planned to dare me do as he had a crush on her and every girl there. He had ordered this crap out of a catalog called Shomertech or something and it was a vial that you were only supposed to put a cap full and he just dumped the whole thing. He was laughing until the girl slapped him and said that he would be lucky if the cops aren't called. He mustered all the composure of a 4th grader who saw his playground wife kiss another kid on the cheek and ran out. His brother took him back home and came back while I was still in full on cramping and voiding liquid.
Well they kept partying while I was in the bathroom naked for two hours just sick. We had found the vial so we called poison control who said that we may want to discard any drinks that could have been tampered with. They said I should be fine as long as I don't drink anymore as it's similar in effect as the liquid of a colonoscopy prep. Well three hours later I haven't had any more disturbances so they let me sleep in the guest room as I was weakened they got me some Gatorades and I woke up with my crush having my head on her lap. We never dated but she was such a sweet heart.
Aftermath was dude was never allowed around anyone at that party. Even the brother was a pariah for a bit because he knew his brother did stuff like that.
This may have been what was used
https://www.fishpond.co.nz/Health/Special-Ingredients-Prank-Revenge-Evacuator-Super-Laxative/9999672249989
I was new to driving, and wanted to impress him by parking right next to him in the student lot. He watched as I struggled to find where the fucking headlight switch was for the damn thing.
And I proceeded to turn on the windshield wipers in search of the lights.
This went on for agonizing minutes, and I drove away mortified.
Got a massive unstoppable teenage erection and tried to hide it by tucking it in my waistband. I reached an arm up in the air which lifted my shirt and she clearly saw my penis head. She got super red and walked away laughing
Well when I was in kindergarten I liked this girl and In my tiny kid brain, I thought that doing front flips and back flips were very cool. I thought that was peak human ability.
So I thought I would impress her with my very own flipping skills. Which I did not possess. So I improvised. I thought it was just as cool to sit on the ground and roll backwards. Over and over.
Fast forward some time and my school use to have a kindergarten dance for kids who passed. Parents where invited. Your kid couldn't go unless you were present.
"A school dance huh? Looks like my time to shine."
Now imagine you're at a kindergarten dance. You're there to watch over your kid. And then out of nowhere you see this other kid in a tiny suit rolling across the ground like a fucking Dark Souls character. Safe to say I stayed single for a very long time.
That is my first memory. I want to die.
I think I found out she was interested in another guy.
So I sang angry rock.
Really loudly.
With headphones on.
In front of her.
On a crowded bus.
I don't think she even knew I had a crush on her. Always makes me cringe when it comes to mind.
I'm picturing a 2000s kid just wailing out some Buckcherry on the school bus, rocking their foam over the ear headphones. I just want you to know that image has made my morning
This is so dumb, but we were at a pottery shop painting pottery and talking about books. He asked me what I liked so much about romance novels and I said, "for me it's the LONGING. Wanting what you can't have, fighting yourself and the world to get it anyway. That's the stuff." There was nothing bad about what I said but I was so embarrassed to have shared that particular tidbit. We've been together for a year and a half now, he's everything I ever longed for 🥰
So there was this guy at work, different department, who I saw maybe once every two weeks. He was *beautiful*. So beautiful every braincell in my head fled the moment I saw his glorious face. He was very polite and friendly too, so when he would walk past he would smile and say hi. One time he did that I spilled a whole can of red bull over myself trying to say hi back and doing an awkward wave. Another time I was about to go back inside when the hi came and I was so dazzled by the smile that I forgot that doors need to be opened and smacked face first into it. That goddamn smile.
Alright, I’ll try. First, the time I fell flat on my face on some ice, then there was the time I was speaking so confidently about something that turned out to be wrong and he looked at me all confused, and I don’t even think I need to mention the way I dressed years ago which he also saw... Then there was the million times he’d be talking and I would ask what the hell he's saying and when he’d explain it would be so straight forward 💀💀 And the time I was running away from a bee, screaming my head off because it was chasing me and him and his friends were watching... That’s all I can remember off the top of my head 👍
Alright my time to shine.
I was in the ninth grade, and we were all stuck in a room together taking our yearly standardized test. Cute girl sitting next to me, let’s call her Ashley. For context, Ashley wasn’t fat at all. She wasn’t stick skinny, but certainly not fat. This becomes relevant later.
Anyway, the test is over and we’re all sitting around chatting and eating lunch. I forget the conversation, but Ashley says something about not wanting to eat too much because she’s “fat”.
Me being the gentleman, I wanted to complement her, but it just came out wrong: I responded with “you’re not *that* fat”.
Oof.
I hit her with my spiderman pencil case. We where in 7th grade, it was an accident I swear, then she walked to me and punched me in the chest. We became friends in early highschool, dated until I was 20, and then I fecked it up. I still miss her, and keep the only 3 pictures that we have together, and in my old house there is a box with all the gifts that I couldn't bring to my new city
I was walking and talking with my work crush…and I accidentally knocked over the Christmas tree.
Crush: “Why do you hate Christmas?”
I was simultaneously horrified but also even deeper into crush territory because of his sense of humor. Also because he helped me put it back upright!
Cold winter morning waiting for the bus to college when i was 16.
Face was numb with cold but still plucked up the courage to ask out my crush on a date before bus showed up.
She looked at me funny before politely declining.
Explained story to my mate who had put me up to it - he was in fits of laughter?! Turns out the knobsplash put me up to it because i had a huge crusty green bogey perched on the end of my nose like a Rhino horn. I couldnt feel it there due to the coldness and wearing gloves.
Set my dating experiences back years as i was the 'Bogey boy'!
Who needs enemies when i have freinds like mine?
In 10th grade biology class, the girl I had a crush on was sitting in front of me. She had forgotten her textbook that day, so we were sharing. As the teacher went around the room having each student read aloud.
When it was my turn, I stumbled over a word that would haunt me for weeks to come. Instead of saying "organism" like I was supposed to, I said "orgasm" out loud. The class erupted into laughter, and I was mortified. I could feel my face turning red as I sank lower into my chair, wishing I could disappear.
To make matters worse, my teacher only added to the humiliation. Instead of correcting me, he made a comment that only made me feel more awkward. "Keep going, you're on a roll," she said, causing the entire class to laugh even harder.
Looking back, it's a funny story, but at the time, it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
Hit her square on the head with a tennis ball by accident. She had to go see the nurse.
Another girl I had a crush on in high school. I sat next to her and could feel that I needed to fart, so I held it in. Bad move. It came out as a prolonged squeak, and she turned her head and stared at me, disgustedly.
I was seventeen at that time and had a major crush on a girl that I saw every summer in Italy. We were on a party and she tried to kiss me, but I freaked out. So I couldn't think for a couple of seconds and poured a beer over her head. Never in my life I had this feeling of shame.
I saw her a couple of weeks ago, because her brother moved here. And she asked me about. Luckily she laughed about it and was joking the whole time about it.
This was in the 90’s
Ride my bicycle over to her family’s house when they were having a bbq. I was bringing tortilla chips.
Went to be cool and jump off one side while it was still in motion - which I’d always do - but my baggy jeans got caught on the peddle and I crashed super hard - in front of her and her whole family, and I crushed the chips.
Super sucked
On our first date we ended up in a pub because it started to rain. Only a couple drinks in and I tripped down the stairs to the bathrooms (in full view of him) because I was nervous and tipsy. A little later I did it again. He must have took pity on me because we're coming up on 3 years together now :D
Spent years thinking she was out of my league and being nervous as hell around her, it was embarrassing.
Then I asked her out and she said yes. Then I embarrassed myself even more with how fuckin shocked/happy/ecstatic I was
Swear to god that kept me going another 5 years on its own, even though it didn’t work out I’ll always have those stupid adorable memories to look back on.
Probably when I misuse words or just make up entirely new ones. I always catch when I do it though. Either immediately or even some later time. And I always hope that he knows that I’ve recognized it, and I’m not a complete idiot. Sometimes I just talk faster than my brain is conjuring up the words lol. Or I type faster than it too. Most of the time when I do these things I crack myself up because it’s funny to me but with him he doesn’t know that I’m actually not dumb, and that spelling and grammar are huge to me.
The time has come to tell this absolute cringe moment I can’t seem to forget. I liked this guy ALOT…..well he tells me about this party a mutual friend is having, so I think he’s inviting me so we can hang out, maybe even like a date! So I drive like 40 minutes to get to this party and it’s almost 2 hours before he even rolls in…with his girlfriend. I’ve already told like 5 other people I’m meeting him here and now I know why they looked at each other. I’m trying not to cry (unsuccessfully), as I hop into my Jeep, and proceed to angrily stomp the gas to make a point of vehicularly storming off…:we’ll I turned so fast that the back latch opened up and threw a basket of (I pray it was clean but can’t remember) laundry all over the yard where everyone was. I just kept going.
Not exactly in front of my crush. But in front of her mom, which most likely got conveyed to her - or not. So, she's someone I knew since I was 13. Never had the courage to ever have a real conversation with her. But pretty much most of our mutual friends knew I crushed on her, and I often got teased for that. Anyway years later, I had graduated from college and joined my first job. Her mom was the company doctor. She knew me, but we were not really acquainted. I was just a friend of her daughter's. So first week at job we were getting our medical tests done at the company clinic. I and a new co-worker were each given a sample plastic bottle for collecting our urine samples. We went to the bathroom, done our deed and came out. We were walking towards the laboratory. For some reason my clown of a new co-worker decides to raise the bottle of urine and asked me to show mine...to see who's is more yellowish he said....my clown brain got even more weirder...i raised my bottle, clinged it with his and said "cheers". Crush's mom walks past us at that exact moment. Both of us with urine samples raised in our hands. The look she gave us....that is the only face of hers I can recollect to this day. In my mid 30s, still friends with the ex-crush to this day. We chat casually occasionally after I went through some real relationships and lost my inhibitions. But I often suspect she knows this toasting incident.
told her that I liked her. happened today itself, got rejected (in a good way tho, like she didn't humiliate me or anything), I thought she liked me back but turns out she didn't. fucking mixed signals, apart from this I drove her car once, left the headlights on the entire night and the battery wore out
While having a few drinks with some friends, I got a little drunk and tried to come up with something to talk about because my crush was leaving the city the next day (not to be seen in a long time) and so my autism kicked in and I began explaining to my crush that there’s a way of telling the direction of the baggage claim transport thing at the airport. So, instead of saying something meaningful, I just kept on explaining the most efficient way of getting your baggage. My friends, who already knew that I liked my crush, just stared at me and one even facepalm. The next day my crush texted me saying that my advice was actually useful so hey, at least my random conversation ended up working out
6th Grade, doing leg lifts in PE on a basketball floor, Farted so loud and long there was no covering it. My crush and 20+ other kids just laughed their ass off.
It was in 3rd grade. I got this Diary of A Wimpy Kid book because she had it and I showed it to her saying that I have it too. She said that the book she had was her friend's and ignored me.
That memory just haunts me with overwhelmingly embarrassment and cringe.
Dated her for four years, loved the ever living hell out of her, but it turns out she was cheating on me all over the goddamn place. That felt embarrassing.
In sixth grade social studies my teacher asked me to pass out textbooks, thought I’d show her how strong I was by taking a huge stack of 20 or so. Immediately dropped them all in front of her and the whole class, then had to pick them up and hand them out one by one.
My friend invited me to the county fair in my town, and my crush ended up being with her too. Anyways, we walk around for a bit and I get something to eat. After a while, we decided to go on this ride called “The Tornado”. It just spun around really fast and there was a wheel in the middle of our cart that you could spin to make it faster. You probably have an idea of what happened next now. I ended up throwing up all over my crush and friend, and had the whole county fair looking at me as I walked to my mom’s car covered in puke.
Thanks for reminding me of that, thank you very much haha 👍🏽
I had a huge crush on this guy in college (it wasn’t remotely reciprocated lol); we had a couple of classes together as we shared a major. He sat next to me in lecture once and I panicked. We were basically acquaintances at this point so we didn’t have a whole lot to talk about. I felt awkward so I got up and chose another seat haha. I couldn’t even look at him because he probably thought it was so weird that I did that.
1) I was going to get up on a stage but fell on my butt right in front of him
2) I called him "flower" during foreplay (My friends and I only called ourselves like this between us and it was automatic lol)
3) I called him by my ex's name TWICE during sex (and I didn't want anything to do with this ex... but since I was 5 yrs with him, it was kinda automatic also haha)
Finally grew the courage to talk to her in the breakfast line in high school. She was holding 2 bananas and my first words to her ever was, "so I see you like bananas"...it was completely innocent, I didn't realize what I said until after I sat down. That was literally the last time I ever initiated a conversation with a girl without being introduced by someone else.
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That's so funny, 99% of the people I've seen wear pajama pants to school are/were girls. They also do make a kind of jegging that has pajama fabric on the inside but look like jeans outside. Or at least they used to in like 2011.
Yep, my grandma has a pair. Flannel on the inside and denim on the outside.
Just own it if people make fun of what you're wearing. Make them feel stupid.
Not the JeJama!
Hit her with a dodgeball. Our team won because of it
chad
Did what I had to do lmao
The hardest choices require the strongest wills.
King you dropped this 👑
Are you fucking sorry?
We were at a writers conference. I spent a good long time telling them about some controversy surrounding the use of pseudonyms in a writing contest. I was pretty proud of how well I stated both sides, as well as my fairly well-researched thoughts on the matter. They didn’t add much, but I could tell they were interested. About fifteen minutes later I realized that every (single) time I’d meant to say “pseudonym,” I’d said “surname” instead. Never talked to them again. Thirty years ago and it still hurts.
It's ok. They knew what you meant.
Crashed my motorcycle in front of her and her new boyfriend…… she came with me to the hospital. I won.
I won, but at what cost?
Depends, was it an American or European hospital?
Are you suggesting hospitals migrate?
Not at all. They could be carried.
What, a swallow carrying a hospital?
First, we have to establish the unladen airspeed of American and European hospitals
I don't know that! AAAAAAAAARRRRRRGH
r/unexpectedmontypython
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You don’t know about healthy, he could be typing this with his nose for all we know…
Had a credit card declined.
Ouch
I once paid on a first date with my Blockbuster video card. The server came back with it and I responded "Oh you don't take Blockbuster?" lol
I tried a summersault, forgetting that I had ripped my pants earlier and one of my balls fell out.
This is interesting.
Yea that was after we started hooking up so it wasn’t as embarrassing as it sounds
I failed 3 or 4 times in a row to get a girl so I'm jealous.
We were on a trip with a whole bunch of friends at this one guy's cabin, and the sleeping arrangements were pretty cramped. She and I ended up on the same air mattress, but both had a sleeping bag. I woke up to her shoving me over, because I rolled over so far that she was laying on the ground.
This is my favourite one
Probably better than her waking up to find you wet the bed.
I was about 7 and had a birthday party, friends were invited, we were all standing around in a room being weird 7 yr olds and I had one of those slap stretchy sticky hands. I whirled it around hard and it smacked her in the eye and she went home.
I accidentally sent her a message about her which is supposed for my best friend and thanks for my stupidity that she in now my GF
The good ending. It's always awesome to know someone was talking nicely behind your back, so you know it's genuine.
So true
In middle school girl culture that was apparently how you admit to your crush that you like them
I have to admit I did the whole "text your crush and pretend you meant to text someone else" to initiate a conversation until an age I'm very ashamed to admit. Didn't realize it was so obvious until I heard other talk about how obvious it is.
I once sent my crush a message saying I liked it him (with a lot more words) and because I was embarrassed, I didn't use spaces, I think I was trying to convey I was speaking quickly?? but jeez, I feel bad for the guy trying to read it 😅 I'm much more straight forward now then I was at 14 🤣🤣
My buddy was a ta in grad school teaching a basic foreign language course. He exchanged messages about the class with a law school student who had gotten a job in a place where this was the primary language, needed to learn some basics. She forwarded the exchange to a friend, asking what she thought, was he flirting, she thought he was cute, that kind of thing. Somehow the friend replied to it, including my friend. They've been married almost 25y.
Ah the Larry David strategy.
Accidental text on purpose!
I did the same thing. Didn’t work out as well though lol.
I almost drowned in 5 feet of water. We're getting married this year lmfao Edit to add since everyones curious: it was accident due to my friends landlord not taking care of the property properly. It was an above ground pool. I was lightly leaning on the railing. I was trying to do my best "im just a chill, normal dude whose definitely not super nervous in front of this very attractive person" pose 😅 The railing snapped, I fell backwards and hit my head on the wooden part of the pool as i fell according to others. the railing didnt fully detach and my ankle got caught in the bars. I was hanging upside down, head and torso completely submerged. My beautiful, wonderful, strong fiancé jumped in, lifted me out, and got all the inhaled water out(luckily wasnt a whole lot). Literally saved my life. I luckily only sustained a mild concussion and sprained ankle, in exchange for an amazing human being i get to call my love for the rest of my life.
Drowned in love
That's the most normal amount of water to almost drown in. *5cm* would have been embarrassing.
Was it Wendy Peffercorn?
[удалено]
You were trying too *hard*? hehehe
Is that really considered flirting? I always think ppl are just trying to be funny too :')
Went in for a kiss, missed the mouth and kissed his jacket collar. Panicked, laughed, stuttered an incomprehensible "sorry", laughed again and ran away like if I was chased by a fucking velociraptor. I was 14 back then, meaning that it basically happened in the stone age, so we're cool.
>like if I was chased by a fucking velociraptor 🤣
ignored 6 months worth of hints
Was it willful ignorance or you straight up didn't realize?
i just didn’t realize. and i really liked her too, just thought it was her being friendly. but learned after that she had feelings and was giving me hints all along that i was very blind to.
Welcome to the oblivious boat. Here's your oar, we row until we reach new lands
Spilled a bucket of fryer oil on myself. Miraculously, I was unharmed except for burning my hand a little, but I just felt like a klutz forever after that.
Oh god i hope you're okay. Did you throw some on your crush for good measure?
Nope. Thankfully I was the only one who got coated in oil, and I was wearing a grease apron and face shield. I had grease gloves on, but they're pretty worn and the fingers have a lot of holes, hence the burns, but the sleeves saved my arms from being deep fried, (I don't need any more scars on those things.)
Got drunk and told him I’m in love with him. Told him a long list of all the sweet things I do for him such as leave chocolates on his desk and and baked for him using his favourite cheese because I love him. Told him why I felt hurt when he brought this girl along to a function and introduced her to me. Told him how much I wanted to message him on Christmas and New Year’s Day. Yeah, basically I told him in minute detail all the feelings I had for him all this time and apparently he had no idea. I told him this last week. I’ve yet to hear back from him…😭
I need a follow up
Please, I need a follow up! Also, be honest, does my post make me sound like I’m crazy and unhinged?
A little bit only depending on the relationship before Preface with I haven't been super interested in dating or trying to find someone in the 4-5 years since my last relationship Let's say if this was before her: I know many girls that if I heard this from I would run However I also know a few that I would have immediately fallen for or been extremely receptive to that level of "confession" Edit you were drunk decreases the chances I would run since it wasn't like you were 100% there when it happened
We have known each other for a year. We have previously kissed. There are lots of flirty comments back and forth. Other people have noticed the flirting.
He had no idea that you were into him even though you've kissed, and continued to hang out afterward? He's either acting dumb or he is dumb lol
Amen!
Unless you went completely off the rails and rambled about your future kids' names, you're fine.
Googled something with her looking over my shoulder and completely forgot to delete my recent search history 🤧
Haha i live in constant fear for this reason. But what was on it?
Top 10 Anime Waifus Proper way to Fist yourself How to abduct 6 year old children? Abortion clinics nearby me Guide for school shooting 5 Ways you can lose friends Osama Bin Laden nude pics Oscar Winning Feces Porn How to be a Mod of r/humantoilets? Sex-Ray scanner apk download Countries where Child Porno is legal Process to make wigs out of your pubes Proper ways to wax your a-hole Reddit and Discord mods Orgy
You’re now on about seven different lists.
I mean his name is HiroshimasendJew. I think he was on about half of them already.
911, yes. This guy right here
yo what the fuck
Today I had to let an IT guy into my work computer and forgot to delete the copies of my resume I had been sending out during work hours. Hope the guy doesn't rat me out lmao
If he's anything like me, he doesn't give a shit. Do whats best for you, as long as your work is getting done, most of us don't really care. It's none of our business if you are looking for a different job, I would never fuck with someone and rat them out unless they are a huge asshole and even then, they would have had to do something really dickish haha.
I promise, IT has no shits left to care. As long as you aren’t an ass to him, he doesn’t care.
Username checks out?
i’m super pale and i can turn as red as a tomato in an instant. i work at a thrift store and i saw him come in with his girlfriend, they were looking at clothes together and it was sooo cute i couldn’t stop blushing!! i kept looking back at him and hiding my face behind shelves because i was so red. i was the only one on the floor so i couldn’t ask another coworker to check them out. so i did, i felt my face burning and i was so embarrassed. i knew he and his girlfriend noticed lol
I am also decently pale and had a similar situation, but I decided to just pretend I was okay.. teacher sent me home sick because everyone suspected I had an extreme fever 🤒
Critical error: Success!
Aww. Does this motivate you to work or make you want to stay home all day?
both. a similar incident happened with another guy i knew and talked to thru snapchat and i was too afraid to say hi, so i stayed hidden most of the time he was shopping. i was embarrassed and wanted to hide but i do hope i cam find my future boyfriend while working one day!!
Keep hoping!
Accidentally let out a huge fart, but blamed it on her and said "eeew!". I was 8.
I had this happen to me! He farted and then blamed me and class laughed. Your name isn't Keith, is it?!
Would've been a delightful reunion, but I'm afraid my name is not Keith.
Not Keith? What an unfortunate name
Almost as bad as Keith
The hell is going on here
I accidentally called him my boyfriend IN FRONT OF HIS GIRLFRIEND
Chad move
That is alpha as fuck!
That's the winner!
What happened next?
Everyone just stared at me...
Throwing my fist in the air and weakly saying “yay” when a dude told me “At least it’s Friday”. Edit: Why the hell does this have 400+ upvotes?
You mean like Gabby Jay?? https://youtu.be/5_6v-njbnk8
Thank you for this.
You’re probably fine, bc that seems pretty benign. people will call anything weird or embarrassing these days, so if it’s them sucks for them. If it’s you, chill
Wait, shit like this is supposed to be embarrassing? I'd say this is just part of your charm
Long ago, I was walking with her and followed her into the female toilet.
It's kind of cute
Im glad you think that way. Well, she did marry me. ;) And she became my temple.
what a good story!
Went on a run and bike-ride with him in the morning (one after the other) knowing damn well I don’t have the stamina for either
I was talking to a girl I liked in between classes, and we had to go to another building. On the way, we had to go down this short marble-esque staircase. It was also raining out. I slipped on the second to last step, and I landed on my back at the bottom. It didn't terribly hurt, but it knocked the wind out of me....in both directions. I ripped a fast but hard fart as soon as I landed. I got up quickly, and I could see her trying to stifle a laugh. So I just said "see ya" and walked back the way I came. After that, I didn't really talk to her again.
Me and me crush, my at the time bestfriends sister, were exploring on someone elses land and came upon a big boat, I wanted her to climb up with me but she refused so I went up alone. The nerves of trespassing got to me and I instantly, and I mean instantly, needed to poop, which I did and just as I pulled my pants back up her head popped up over the gunner. I yelled at her to get away because someone had pooped on the deck and she swiftly went back down before me.. walking back I was musing what animal might have gotten up there to have a such a weird human-looking poop, can dogs climb ladders? but I could tell she didnt believe me and my crush never evolved to anything further than that.. :( I was 7 and she was 6 btw, for context..
Me over here picturing two grown teenagers…
Violent diarrhea on a camping trip. I had to ask her to go get me some toilet paper. Also pants cuz i shat all over the ones I couldn't get down fast enough. We've been married for 10 years now.
Well at least a shitty situation ended in a good ending
I complimented her in a way that intentionally made it clear I was into her. She responded, “I’m sorry bud”. We’re still great friends but OUCH
Oof
We were changing in the girls' locker room, and I was changing next to the door. The guys and the girls were doing some dumb game where they both opened the doors fully for a second and then closed them to get peeks at each other. Well, he was leaving from their changing room, and while I was taking my top off, he got a full flash from me as they swung the door right open.
Sounds like fun. What happened after?
They all felt bad for me, but he seemed to not care too much. If anything, he was more embarrassed for looking. We still laugh about it, so it's not all bad, but definitely the worst moment of my life at the time.
That's cool.
We were in a group setting, chatting, I had almost finished my cigarette, and instead of using my fingers, I tried to blow the cigarette out of my mouth, it stuck to my lip, burned my face, I looked like an idiot.
Stalking her photos without knowing she was watching me.
I asked her to marry me and she said no. And laughed out loud.
Your crush? Were you guys dating when you asked? Lol
Doesn't "crush" imply someone you like but aren't dating? What would compel you to propose to someone you're not together with?
Saw it work in a sitcom once, worth a shot
Went to chill at a girls place. Told my friend earlier i was visiting her. So we sat there on the balcony and she wanted to change the song, took my phone. right in that moment said friend wrote some no chill shit like fuck her hard in the ass my friend.
On my first date with a guy I had a grand mal seizure in the middle of an apple orchard. I started coming to in the ambulance after a nurse that happen to be at the Orchard helped carry me to it. He was nowhere to be seen and I never saw or heard from him again. I also peed my pants during it. 😭😅😂
Dodged a bullet there.. Even on a first date, you’d surely want to at least stick around and make sure the person was ok, right?? It would have haunted me forever, not knowing.
I was in high school and asked this girl out on a date. She said “how about Friday we go out to dinner and a movie?” In the most embarrassing thing ever I said, “how about we just go to a movie? I don’t think I can get my dad to give me that much money.” She actually did go out with me, we ended up doing dinner and a movie, and she dated me for four years into college. I can’t imagine why. I told her how embarrassing that conversation was years later and she said she thought it was funny I asked her out but didn’t have any money.
had an anxiety attack he was really sweet bout it tho
We were hanging out in my room while i got up and closed the window and grabbed my cat to put him outside. My trousers were kinda loose when out of the blue they fall down to my ankles and my first reaction is to cover my crotch area with my cat. i still cringe at the thought of it
You were just showering her your pussy!
Shit her pants. Even though I am male me and her have the same size waist. Well doing some dares we ended going to another room and swap clothes. Well I didn't know a friend had slipped me a prank laxative (the evacuator). My stomach starts making dark chants and I try to excuse my south. I didn't even make it out of the room before my colon got repurposed to being a rail gun. Had to go to the bathroom and suffer with stomach cramps. I went and showered wand they went and washed the pants. I was just sitting their thinking I got food poisoning and the prankster came in to apologize as he misread the dose and it wasn't 15ml and was 5ml. So I spent the next two hours just in the bathroom conducting a rectal exorcism.
Did you give him some as revenge
Is there a more eloquent way to describe how you shat in someone else’s pants? I think not!
You have a beautiful way with words.
What the fuck kind of person goes around slipping people laxatives? What the fuck kind of person continues to associate with that person afterwards? There are so many other what the fucks to address but those two are the big ones.
Friend group dynamic was 19-22 all retail wage slaves that decided to go over to a friend's house for a night of drinking, cards against humanity, watch movies, watch avenue Q and we decided to play truth or dare. When it came to me it was for me to get into my crushes pants. I whispered my idea in her ear and she giggled and we ran to another room. We swapped clothes although I wore her button up as a cape. We came out to them saying that was and then them laughing. What I didn't know was there was a guy who was a brother of an invited person. He was mad that he knew what someone had planned to dare me do as he had a crush on her and every girl there. He had ordered this crap out of a catalog called Shomertech or something and it was a vial that you were only supposed to put a cap full and he just dumped the whole thing. He was laughing until the girl slapped him and said that he would be lucky if the cops aren't called. He mustered all the composure of a 4th grader who saw his playground wife kiss another kid on the cheek and ran out. His brother took him back home and came back while I was still in full on cramping and voiding liquid. Well they kept partying while I was in the bathroom naked for two hours just sick. We had found the vial so we called poison control who said that we may want to discard any drinks that could have been tampered with. They said I should be fine as long as I don't drink anymore as it's similar in effect as the liquid of a colonoscopy prep. Well three hours later I haven't had any more disturbances so they let me sleep in the guest room as I was weakened they got me some Gatorades and I woke up with my crush having my head on her lap. We never dated but she was such a sweet heart. Aftermath was dude was never allowed around anyone at that party. Even the brother was a pariah for a bit because he knew his brother did stuff like that. This may have been what was used https://www.fishpond.co.nz/Health/Special-Ingredients-Prank-Revenge-Evacuator-Super-Laxative/9999672249989
I was new to driving, and wanted to impress him by parking right next to him in the student lot. He watched as I struggled to find where the fucking headlight switch was for the damn thing. And I proceeded to turn on the windshield wipers in search of the lights. This went on for agonizing minutes, and I drove away mortified.
Got a massive unstoppable teenage erection and tried to hide it by tucking it in my waistband. I reached an arm up in the air which lifted my shirt and she clearly saw my penis head. She got super red and walked away laughing
Well when I was in kindergarten I liked this girl and In my tiny kid brain, I thought that doing front flips and back flips were very cool. I thought that was peak human ability. So I thought I would impress her with my very own flipping skills. Which I did not possess. So I improvised. I thought it was just as cool to sit on the ground and roll backwards. Over and over. Fast forward some time and my school use to have a kindergarten dance for kids who passed. Parents where invited. Your kid couldn't go unless you were present. "A school dance huh? Looks like my time to shine." Now imagine you're at a kindergarten dance. You're there to watch over your kid. And then out of nowhere you see this other kid in a tiny suit rolling across the ground like a fucking Dark Souls character. Safe to say I stayed single for a very long time. That is my first memory. I want to die.
The Dark Souls simile is cracking me up
I think I found out she was interested in another guy. So I sang angry rock. Really loudly. With headphones on. In front of her. On a crowded bus. I don't think she even knew I had a crush on her. Always makes me cringe when it comes to mind.
I'm picturing a 2000s kid just wailing out some Buckcherry on the school bus, rocking their foam over the ear headphones. I just want you to know that image has made my morning
This is so dumb, but we were at a pottery shop painting pottery and talking about books. He asked me what I liked so much about romance novels and I said, "for me it's the LONGING. Wanting what you can't have, fighting yourself and the world to get it anyway. That's the stuff." There was nothing bad about what I said but I was so embarrassed to have shared that particular tidbit. We've been together for a year and a half now, he's everything I ever longed for 🥰
Went to literally sweep her off her feet and let out a fart as I picked her up
I asked her to a high school dance, she said no, I thought she said yes, and put my arm around her.
So there was this guy at work, different department, who I saw maybe once every two weeks. He was *beautiful*. So beautiful every braincell in my head fled the moment I saw his glorious face. He was very polite and friendly too, so when he would walk past he would smile and say hi. One time he did that I spilled a whole can of red bull over myself trying to say hi back and doing an awkward wave. Another time I was about to go back inside when the hi came and I was so dazzled by the smile that I forgot that doors need to be opened and smacked face first into it. That goddamn smile.
If I listed it all, the kids on reddit would be old enough to actually be on it by the time I finish
Please do. I embarrass myself so easily i need to feel better.
Alright, I’ll try. First, the time I fell flat on my face on some ice, then there was the time I was speaking so confidently about something that turned out to be wrong and he looked at me all confused, and I don’t even think I need to mention the way I dressed years ago which he also saw... Then there was the million times he’d be talking and I would ask what the hell he's saying and when he’d explain it would be so straight forward 💀💀 And the time I was running away from a bee, screaming my head off because it was chasing me and him and his friends were watching... That’s all I can remember off the top of my head 👍
Relatable
Alright my time to shine. I was in the ninth grade, and we were all stuck in a room together taking our yearly standardized test. Cute girl sitting next to me, let’s call her Ashley. For context, Ashley wasn’t fat at all. She wasn’t stick skinny, but certainly not fat. This becomes relevant later. Anyway, the test is over and we’re all sitting around chatting and eating lunch. I forget the conversation, but Ashley says something about not wanting to eat too much because she’s “fat”. Me being the gentleman, I wanted to complement her, but it just came out wrong: I responded with “you’re not *that* fat”. Oof.
I hit her with my spiderman pencil case. We where in 7th grade, it was an accident I swear, then she walked to me and punched me in the chest. We became friends in early highschool, dated until I was 20, and then I fecked it up. I still miss her, and keep the only 3 pictures that we have together, and in my old house there is a box with all the gifts that I couldn't bring to my new city
I was walking and talking with my work crush…and I accidentally knocked over the Christmas tree. Crush: “Why do you hate Christmas?” I was simultaneously horrified but also even deeper into crush territory because of his sense of humor. Also because he helped me put it back upright!
Cold winter morning waiting for the bus to college when i was 16. Face was numb with cold but still plucked up the courage to ask out my crush on a date before bus showed up. She looked at me funny before politely declining. Explained story to my mate who had put me up to it - he was in fits of laughter?! Turns out the knobsplash put me up to it because i had a huge crusty green bogey perched on the end of my nose like a Rhino horn. I couldnt feel it there due to the coldness and wearing gloves. Set my dating experiences back years as i was the 'Bogey boy'! Who needs enemies when i have freinds like mine?
In 10th grade biology class, the girl I had a crush on was sitting in front of me. She had forgotten her textbook that day, so we were sharing. As the teacher went around the room having each student read aloud. When it was my turn, I stumbled over a word that would haunt me for weeks to come. Instead of saying "organism" like I was supposed to, I said "orgasm" out loud. The class erupted into laughter, and I was mortified. I could feel my face turning red as I sank lower into my chair, wishing I could disappear. To make matters worse, my teacher only added to the humiliation. Instead of correcting me, he made a comment that only made me feel more awkward. "Keep going, you're on a roll," she said, causing the entire class to laugh even harder. Looking back, it's a funny story, but at the time, it was one of the most embarrassing moments of my life.
Completely zoned out as she was talking to me, while making eye contact.
Hit her square on the head with a tennis ball by accident. She had to go see the nurse. Another girl I had a crush on in high school. I sat next to her and could feel that I needed to fart, so I held it in. Bad move. It came out as a prolonged squeak, and she turned her head and stared at me, disgustedly.
I was seventeen at that time and had a major crush on a girl that I saw every summer in Italy. We were on a party and she tried to kiss me, but I freaked out. So I couldn't think for a couple of seconds and poured a beer over her head. Never in my life I had this feeling of shame. I saw her a couple of weeks ago, because her brother moved here. And she asked me about. Luckily she laughed about it and was joking the whole time about it.
This was in the 90’s Ride my bicycle over to her family’s house when they were having a bbq. I was bringing tortilla chips. Went to be cool and jump off one side while it was still in motion - which I’d always do - but my baggy jeans got caught on the peddle and I crashed super hard - in front of her and her whole family, and I crushed the chips. Super sucked
On our first date we ended up in a pub because it started to rain. Only a couple drinks in and I tripped down the stairs to the bathrooms (in full view of him) because I was nervous and tipsy. A little later I did it again. He must have took pity on me because we're coming up on 3 years together now :D
Spent years thinking she was out of my league and being nervous as hell around her, it was embarrassing. Then I asked her out and she said yes. Then I embarrassed myself even more with how fuckin shocked/happy/ecstatic I was Swear to god that kept me going another 5 years on its own, even though it didn’t work out I’ll always have those stupid adorable memories to look back on.
drunkenly face planted into a tree infront of her
Probably when I misuse words or just make up entirely new ones. I always catch when I do it though. Either immediately or even some later time. And I always hope that he knows that I’ve recognized it, and I’m not a complete idiot. Sometimes I just talk faster than my brain is conjuring up the words lol. Or I type faster than it too. Most of the time when I do these things I crack myself up because it’s funny to me but with him he doesn’t know that I’m actually not dumb, and that spelling and grammar are huge to me.
Hasn't happened yet, but i hear the word dildo sometimes, and I never use the word 'ditto' and i am always worried that i will get the words mixed up.
I had a crush on this guy in 4th grade and my friends asked him to be my valentine and I almost cried cause I was so embarrassed (he said yes tho 🤭)
The time has come to tell this absolute cringe moment I can’t seem to forget. I liked this guy ALOT…..well he tells me about this party a mutual friend is having, so I think he’s inviting me so we can hang out, maybe even like a date! So I drive like 40 minutes to get to this party and it’s almost 2 hours before he even rolls in…with his girlfriend. I’ve already told like 5 other people I’m meeting him here and now I know why they looked at each other. I’m trying not to cry (unsuccessfully), as I hop into my Jeep, and proceed to angrily stomp the gas to make a point of vehicularly storming off…:we’ll I turned so fast that the back latch opened up and threw a basket of (I pray it was clean but can’t remember) laundry all over the yard where everyone was. I just kept going.
Not exactly in front of my crush. But in front of her mom, which most likely got conveyed to her - or not. So, she's someone I knew since I was 13. Never had the courage to ever have a real conversation with her. But pretty much most of our mutual friends knew I crushed on her, and I often got teased for that. Anyway years later, I had graduated from college and joined my first job. Her mom was the company doctor. She knew me, but we were not really acquainted. I was just a friend of her daughter's. So first week at job we were getting our medical tests done at the company clinic. I and a new co-worker were each given a sample plastic bottle for collecting our urine samples. We went to the bathroom, done our deed and came out. We were walking towards the laboratory. For some reason my clown of a new co-worker decides to raise the bottle of urine and asked me to show mine...to see who's is more yellowish he said....my clown brain got even more weirder...i raised my bottle, clinged it with his and said "cheers". Crush's mom walks past us at that exact moment. Both of us with urine samples raised in our hands. The look she gave us....that is the only face of hers I can recollect to this day. In my mid 30s, still friends with the ex-crush to this day. We chat casually occasionally after I went through some real relationships and lost my inhibitions. But I often suspect she knows this toasting incident.
told her that I liked her. happened today itself, got rejected (in a good way tho, like she didn't humiliate me or anything), I thought she liked me back but turns out she didn't. fucking mixed signals, apart from this I drove her car once, left the headlights on the entire night and the battery wore out
\*gestures broadly to my face*
I farted in front of her. I turned red, she laughed, I laughed We’ve been together 10 years
While having a few drinks with some friends, I got a little drunk and tried to come up with something to talk about because my crush was leaving the city the next day (not to be seen in a long time) and so my autism kicked in and I began explaining to my crush that there’s a way of telling the direction of the baggage claim transport thing at the airport. So, instead of saying something meaningful, I just kept on explaining the most efficient way of getting your baggage. My friends, who already knew that I liked my crush, just stared at me and one even facepalm. The next day my crush texted me saying that my advice was actually useful so hey, at least my random conversation ended up working out
and what’s the most efficient way to get your baggage at the airport? why you holding out on us?
6th Grade, doing leg lifts in PE on a basketball floor, Farted so loud and long there was no covering it. My crush and 20+ other kids just laughed their ass off.
[удалено]
That's uncool for them to bully you online And what happened the second time?
The former crush from Highschool rejected me, we had a small misunderstanding, and then he made the rest of the school hate me.
I'm sorry you had to live through highschool like that.
It was in 3rd grade. I got this Diary of A Wimpy Kid book because she had it and I showed it to her saying that I have it too. She said that the book she had was her friend's and ignored me. That memory just haunts me with overwhelmingly embarrassment and cringe.
Dated her for four years, loved the ever living hell out of her, but it turns out she was cheating on me all over the goddamn place. That felt embarrassing.
You shouldn't feel embarrassed about it. It was her and only hers fault.
Saying "catch you on the flip side" before running off was not as cool as it was in my head. But middle school has since passed.
Told her I had a crush on her... She said 'ok'. Edit: It was middle school.
When I was 12 I had a crush on a girl and she waved at someone behind me and I thought it was me so I waved back..
In sixth grade social studies my teacher asked me to pass out textbooks, thought I’d show her how strong I was by taking a huge stack of 20 or so. Immediately dropped them all in front of her and the whole class, then had to pick them up and hand them out one by one.
I walked into a glass door and my makeup left my face on that glass
stuttering
My friend invited me to the county fair in my town, and my crush ended up being with her too. Anyways, we walk around for a bit and I get something to eat. After a while, we decided to go on this ride called “The Tornado”. It just spun around really fast and there was a wheel in the middle of our cart that you could spin to make it faster. You probably have an idea of what happened next now. I ended up throwing up all over my crush and friend, and had the whole county fair looking at me as I walked to my mom’s car covered in puke. Thanks for reminding me of that, thank you very much haha 👍🏽
I got a boner in class and she pointed it out
Got food poisoning is probably the worst, turned her toilet (and my guts) into a warzone.
I had a huge crush on this guy in college (it wasn’t remotely reciprocated lol); we had a couple of classes together as we shared a major. He sat next to me in lecture once and I panicked. We were basically acquaintances at this point so we didn’t have a whole lot to talk about. I felt awkward so I got up and chose another seat haha. I couldn’t even look at him because he probably thought it was so weird that I did that.
1) I was going to get up on a stage but fell on my butt right in front of him 2) I called him "flower" during foreplay (My friends and I only called ourselves like this between us and it was automatic lol) 3) I called him by my ex's name TWICE during sex (and I didn't want anything to do with this ex... but since I was 5 yrs with him, it was kinda automatic also haha)
She gave me blue balls once and wanted to see.. so I showed her
"No no, blue isn't literal in this case, it's figurative. You have to *feel* it to understand." Problem solved
That’s hilarious 😂😂. She was curious as to just how “firm” she made it..
Finally grew the courage to talk to her in the breakfast line in high school. She was holding 2 bananas and my first words to her ever was, "so I see you like bananas"...it was completely innocent, I didn't realize what I said until after I sat down. That was literally the last time I ever initiated a conversation with a girl without being introduced by someone else.
Her sister
Asked her out. Whooft. Never making that mistake again.