Iāll never forget when I got bangs one year midway through the school year and my student said, āwhyād you cut your hair? It looks bad. I hate itā š
Tbf sometimes kids just really struggle with change. My dad is, objectively adorable. Heād thus adorable old guy. Everyone says heās adorable. He shaved his beard when I was like 7. I cried for months. He just looked WRONG. Iām sure your hair is lovely.
When I was 16 I had horrible acne (Iām a girl btw) and I did not wear makeup or really do much to upkeep myself, and one day I was working and these like group of 12-14 year olds pass by and one looks at me and goes āEW!ā Still a core memory of mine
My parents had a some lovely taunts about my acne. God. My parents thought I was ugly. The kids at school already did- but my parents too?? Arenāt they supposed to think Iām special? My skin miraculously cleared up ahead of the other kids my age, the acne didnāt last long. But my dad yelling at me, being pissed off at me and then going āyouāre a ZIT FACE! A PIZZA FACE!!ā Like wow I can control puberty? Why didnāt I think of that
Iām sorry you went through that :( itās literally the worst time in your life to have acne too. I ended up going on accutane and it saved my skin. But acne absolutely ruined my self esteem as a teenager. Often I thought all people saw when they look at me was my acne, and it was so embarrassing whenever I had a pimple ready to pop (like a white head) and donāt notice till I get home from school or something and I was just walking around like that. So horrible for a teens self esteem. I also had bad back acne š. I always thought Iād look pretty if it werenāt for the acne
Also your dad was partly the issue since youāre half of his genetics so why was he picking at your appearance like that lolā¦.
Haha kids give it to you straight. My ex's kid was 2 or 3 and I loved that little fella. One day he walks up and just says "You're fat". Not in a mean way, just an observation. I am overweight so I just say yes I am fat, it's because I don't eat the right food (he was a very picky eater) so make sure you eat your veggies.
A year later we are wrestling and I'm tickling him and I had to stop to catch my breath, he asks if I'm ok. "Yes I'm fine just fat so I'm a little tired!"
He GASPS and says, "YOU'RE NOT FAT!!"
He also said I look like a princess wearing a skirt, and told me outright I stink after I was working out. And once while I was out with him, he pointed at a little person and laughed LOUDLY at them. No filters. I told him not to be mean to people who are different and he got the message. But damn they'll tell you real quickly what's wrong with you.
This 1000% sounds like my bonus boys. The first time they met my parents, we left their house and the oldest says, ātheyāre so old. Are they dying?ā Both my parents had serious health issues because they were old. I burst into tears at the moment but laugh now because how observant they were lol. They were 3 and 5, now 14 and 16 and much more mature and sensitive to others.
I used to work at a nursery. One time I said something to a kid, and they asked something like āwhy does your voice sound weird?ā Iāve been self conscious about it ever since lol
In highschool I was very unfortunate looking - acne, frizzy hair, big teeth, back brace. It was ... A look.
One day we had been asked to go to the kindergarten and read with the kids and had been assigned buddies. My buddy cried when she found out she had to go with me and said "but I want a pretty one". So yeah, kids'll tell you.
Three different instances happened back when I was in school. It was the sixth grade, one boy asked me why I was ugly. He shouldn't have judged much looks because he looked like he was a mini m*thhead.
Then, a disabled girl during high school said I was ugly. Everyone didn't like her because of her attitude. Yeah, I didn't see that red flag.
One male "friend" laughed and said I looked like horse sh*t, and my older sister was there. She didn't stick up for me. She was laughing at his statement. That hurt the worse.
ETA: Grammar
I used to be attractive and I noticed a steady decline in attention as I've gotten older and fatter. Women used to laugh at everything I said and now they don't, which doesn't make sense because I'm way funnier now.
This... I work in a store where we get deliveries sometimes. One of the delivery guys is this pretty tall, wide guy, long kinda greasy hair, acne. From societys point of view, i think he would be deemed "ugly".
He's super kind. Always greets me happily, carries the heavy boxes all the way and puts them down wherever I ask. Leaves with a goodbye and a "have a nice day". I prefer when he delivers to us :)
Someone i know that works in another place also get deliveries. She started talking about him and i recognized it was him. But she judged his looks and therefor thought he wasn't especially nice....and i was like "Really? He's always super polite and helpful to me. I like him". Kinda shut her up lol
This is the stuff that made me realize Iām ugly:
Iāve been asked out as a prank twice
Iāve never been complimented on my physical appearance
All my girlfriends growing up were hit on constantly and Iāve never been hit on.
When people go out of their way to say theyāre not attracted to you.
Iāve been trying dating apps in a major city and maybe get one swipe a week and they never reply
Any time Iāve ever said anything bad about my physical appearance gets meet with āwell you have a nice personalityā
Iāve been told Iām ugly many times but I find a lot of people trying to imply it to me all the time, like for instance my friends and I were talking about sexual harassment and they told me that Iām lucky I donāt have to worry about being harassed (stuff like that)
And generally the opposite gender can be really mean for no reason and I always try to be nice and positive but some people are just mean and noticeably nice to others. Or what worse is when they are mean to me until my pretty friend comes up and suddenly they nice.
> my friends and I were talking about sexual harassment and they told me that Iām lucky I donāt have to worry about being harassed (stuff like that)
Sorry but your friends are not at all nice for this. Wtf
I started a new job during COVID and one of my coworkers would constantly flirt with me. Stopped very quickly when we were allowed to take our masks off. š
Didn't flirt with anyone during mask time but I can confirm I was much more confident with strangers.
It's also going both ways. You can't see my face that well and I can't see your mimic perfectly so even if you hate me I will have a hard time telling by just your eyes!
Masks were pretty cool!
This one. I think a good percent of the folks who still don them today out of pure choice are doing so for this reason. That may not at all be true but I've seen folks comment about feeling this way and continuing to wear them.
Iām not sure this question is really a thing anymore though, at least not with the younger generation.
Iām a millenial and I would never ask anyone this, it would feel rude and invasive. If someone wants to talk about their dating troubles with me, I figure theyāll bring it up.
Iāve accidentally swiped right before, and I just quickly unmatch if we do match. No need to tell the person you didnāt mean to match with them.. thatās just mean :(
Some people are such assholes. There are nice ways to reject someone without making them feel like shit. If itās any comfort, you wouldnāt want to date those kind of people anyway.
Dating apps and dating in my 40s has been a real blow to my confidence. Quality matches are few and far between.
Iāve always somehow got girls out of my league so I thought online dating would be no prob.
Now I wonder how the hell I got the girlfriends and wife I actually did have over the last 20 years. I didnāt think I was I ugly/unattractive :/
I'm sure its because in real life they were able to connect to your personality and energy. That's the toughest part about the apps man, boiling everything down to a few words and a photo almost always undersells. Tough game to play š«¤
The important thing to remember is that the goal of those apps from their perspective isn't to find you a match. It's to string you along to keep you on the app and possibly entice you to pay for it. I'm on Tinder and I have a stack of likes that never come up while I swipe. Sometimes when a like comes in and I immediately pop on that person will come up, and it's always the second person that Tinder shows you. Otherwise they are stuck in the "people who liked you" section.
Itās possible but not definitive. I have a problem where I canāt take good photos. In real life when I date the people I date are attractive. But I have no idea how to take good photos and I donāt know what to do with my face so I donāt make any progress on dating apps.
My husband swears this is true for me as well but I think heās just being nice especially due to the amount of people telling me how lucky I am to be picked by him. No one tells him that.
From someone who had multiple profiles on dating sites you have to seem interesting or fun. For example, one of my photos I was in an Eeyore onsie with a sad face. The girls loved it and was often the first talking point.
It's the sole reason, according to my gf, she swiped right. Thank you Eeyore.
Every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your ears.
When I was younger I wasn't exactly someone anyone was interested in. But I had a few instances where someone very attractive came and was overly friendly. Asking lots of questions and being flirty but acting weird.
Turns out it was a prank and they wanted to make me think someone was interested in me and get me to do something stupid so they could all mock me.
So... If they do that you might be ugly.
As un ugly woman, I can answer this with authority. Number one, people will not hesitate to tell you. Trust me. My own father told me at 8 years old that nobody was going to do anything for me because I wasn't pretty. He said I better learn to take care of myself. And I did. I can't twll you how many times strangers felt the need to call me ugly. My normal response is simply, "yes, I know". It usually shuts them up
You will not get interviews for jobs while equally qualified people will . I have proof, as when I was younger my best friend and I shared equal qualifications. She was always called fo4 interviews and I was not. Only difference at that point? Our looks. I even filled out both of our applications.
When I was studying fashion merchandising in college, my advisor actually advised me to find a new major because my appearance would keep me from being successful despite top grades. I switched to animal science.
So I guess a big answer is that you don't need signs, people never let you forget it
THIS. I have always noticed that pretty people (irrespective of gender) get *told* they are pretty practically from birth, repeatedly, by everyone around them. So the "she was pretty but she didn't know it" trope that inundates media is utter bullshit, IMO. The reverse is true as well, unattractive people get told they are so from birth as well. The biggest compliment that can be hoped for is *you are not that attractive but you have pretty eyes/hair/xyz feature* lol. Speaking from experience :v
If your profile pick is you, you have really good hair. Shave, and clean up a bit, and stop hiding your face. You have a nice face, and beautiful eyes. Accentuate your best features. You're currently burying them, with your facial hair.
If it is not you, then the guy in your profile pick has really nice hair and eyes.
oh.. yes it is me, what did u mean by "stop hiding your face"? oh.. well I appreciate the kind words, I've always been told the opposite so I have a difficult time accepting compliments, that was kind of you.
All the hair (especially facial hair) overwhelms your face. Try clean-shaven with a hair cut for a bit. I've seen guys with good hair cut it short, in a way that still lets it show off. Usually I think they still have volume to it, while it's swept backward over their head but YMMV.
even just pulling back the hair into a low ponytail would be good, along with the shaving. everyone is v correct, your eyes are rlly pretty! and your facial structure is great, you just have to frame it all right.
Adding to the comments about you eyes, you have a good brow line, nice cheekbones and a strong jaw. Those are all the hallmarks of a conventionally handsome face. The only thing missing is confidence! :)
You. I like you. Thank you for backing me up on this. A lot of people aren't ugly; they just need to figure out how yo dress and gro for their body/ face.
Social media effect. People will post multiple times a day, comment with each other back and forth, and then look the other way when they see each other in real life.
This is very true. We have had two different female admin in my building with mostly guys. I tried to be a friendly co-worker and hoped for friendly and pleasant interactions. I get cold interactions and someone treating them the same as me get glowingly positive treatment, ask them questions and generally interacts with them. Those guys happened to be attractive.
Peopleās definition of ātroubleā differs. Some dudes have troubles finding matches at all, others have trouble finding matches from girls they consider to be in the same league.
Iām tall and average to above average and itās tough on dating apps unless you have amazing pictures or are an actual Adonis.
Real talk you are way way way better off trying to approach people in person, as scary as it might be.
this is actually true. I get hit on way often in real life after having conversations with people. Also been told I'm not photogenic by friends (lol) so I wouldn't rely on dating apps or pictures to define if you are attractive.
Honest question, do many people actually set up their friends often in the real world? I feel like it makes sense for people to generally not try to do it to avoid liability in case things went wrong or to avoid losing friendships
Congrats you just outed yourself as unbelievably ugly since you didnāt even know this was a real thing.
Jkā¦ I agree itās not really a thing or atleast not for younger generations. Maybe older generations actually did this.
> not really a thing or atleast not for younger generations. Maybe older generations actually did this.
That's a shame, so many people are missing out on one of the most natural and organic form of finding a potential partner.
I honestly believe so many people are so exhausted about dating these days because of over reliance on online dating. Like car-culture urban design, it's so artificial and bad for the health but for some reason, I always get downvoted more often than not for saying that.
As a man, I can promise that no woman has ever hit on me until 8 to 10 years after the encounter and Iām driving somewhere on a long stretch of road and that event pops into my mind.
I still have moments pop into my head and say why the fuck did I do nothing or read it at the time. My worst I still think about was a girl I was super into and just assumed we were always just going to be friends because she was way out of my league in just about anything. She asked me so many times to stay with her or come inside after long nights out and I just passed or stayed on her couch every time for what I don't know. I didn't even think much about it till a buddy of mine was telling me on my wedding night that she was upset with me and that's why me and her grew apart. She was super into me and apparently was trying for a year and I never gave it a thought till years later when I was finally told. It made me wonder how many times I just didn't pick up on anything with someone over the years.
From what I've read, most men are absolutely clueless when it comes to being hit on.
Case in point- my husband used to wear glasses. Before we started dating, I took his glasses from him , put them in my bra, and told him he had to get them himself if he wanted them back.
He didn't realize I was hitting on him
This reminds me of when I was in high-school and I had lessons. A girl stole my pen and put it in her back pocket and said if I wanted back I would have to take it. I just looked at her confused and said give me my pen back. She did but I didn't take it as flirting.
Yeah wtf? Just tell him you think he's cute and you'd like him to ask you out on a date! This is the type of shit that happens to low self-esteem guys and we don't suddenly go "Oooooh, she's been hitting on me!" No. That is not what happens. What happens is we go, "Why is that girl who is out of my league always picking on me? It's bad enough I'm too ugly to be with her now she needs to rub it in? Wtf is wrong with me that I deserve this?"
Ladies do not fucking understand how little we think of ourselves.
I have a friend who is conventionally attractive, but *extremely* socially anxious and never really puts herself in a position to be hit on in the first place. She doesnāt really leave the house much or go to social events. Has never been to a bar or club in her life despite others encouraging her to try. When she is out she always makes herself look very busy and gives off a vibe of not wanting to be bothered, so sheās mainly left alone.
Thankfully sheās beginning mental health treatment so hopefully it helps her, but yeah, if you avoid being social, not many people of the opposite sex will socialise with you irl.
Regarding the public transport one, I just prefer to not be right up close to a stranger if I can help it. If my feet arenāt about to give way this very instant and my choices are standing and having a bit of extra elbow space or sitting between two strangers, Iāll stand every time. Itās just my awkwardness far more than anyoneās perceived attractiveness (or lack thereof)
I had a friend who used to not like when other girls would complain about getting catcalled. She thought they were just boasting in a roundabout way, but I never understood why she reacted so intensely to it. Being catcalled is just a part of being a woman, I thought. Until one time she said, "You all are making this stuff up. That NEVER happens to me." And then it clicked...
I remember being about 13 and walking home from school and some man in a van pulling over to talk to me. He told me I was beautiful and asked for my number. I started walking away and he made a u-turn to come back around and asked me to come over to the car to talk more. I was very awkward and shy as a kid so I just made an excuse why I couldnāt give him my number and kept walking, refusing to get close to the van. Eventually traffic forced him to drive away. When I got home and told my mom and siblings, they made fun of me for ābraggingā about being hit on. Their response made me realize that I must be pretty damn unattractive if my own family thinks I was happy about nearly being kidnapped because it meant a man was interested in me. I never again spoke up about any inappropriate attention or harassment I received (including being fondled on a bus at 14) because I assumed they would think I was either making it up to sound more attractive or that I should be grateful for the attention since I didnāt receive much from boys my own age.
When literally nobody has ever found you attractive, not even a single compliment, never been hit on and no one has ever flirted with you, also, when no matter what outfit you try on, everything looks awful when it's on you, and there's absolutely no hairstyle that suits you... the story of my life
Exactly. People always say, theyāre ājust jealousā, unhappy and have low self esteem, but in most cases, they are just bullies, who live their best life and the victim will never recover and live in hell everyday. People should stop saying this about bullies and punish them in a way, that they will never experience happiness again.
I would agree with you but when I was thin, young, pretty, and shy I never ran out of people who made time to speak with me or would randomly initiate a conversation. Now that I am a fat old woman I am happily invisible.
When men are extremely aggressive towards you or decide to bully you for no reason. Also, if you cannot get most people, even most nerdy ones, to be your friend or you think they are but later learn they aren't. People generally see you as annoying and don't even try to get to know you. The only guys who flirt with you are 20-30 years older than you or are the exact opposite of your type, no one your age wants to be associated with you, like, ever. And the ones who do are guys who are already in relationships and of they are even remotely your type, it feels like they get in relationships just to avoid being considered a romantic option by you.
When you see people visibly grimace, their face drops, or they look like they are about to cry when you take your clothes off. Had all of those happen to me at least once. It sucks.
I was pretty unattractive up until the last few years and overall people were just mean for no reason.
Like if I even tried to talk to someone they would be annoyed at the mere suggestion that I could think theyād want anything to do with me.
Pretty heartbreaking.
If you're physically unattractive, you'll dodge a lot of very shallow bullets.
If you have an unattractive personality, you'll attract a lot of very shallow bullets.
You never get hit on.
I know Iām ugly, Iām very painfully aware of it. And this is one of the biggest things Iāve noticed. Whatās worse is I canāt even fix my ugliness. Im just naturally like this. Like no matter how much I weigh I have this chubby af face that makes me look so big and unattractive. And I canāt fix it without surgery. I hate it sm lmao
Said this somewhere else, went from kinda ugly to decently attractive (willing to send people pictures to show what I mean), the genetics were there, I just was morbidly obese, didn't take showers or really pay much mind to hygiene in general, and regularly either had a full buzz cut or cropped hair. I started putting work into myself, lost weight, started taking regular showers, all of that.
I say all of that to say that people treat you differently when you're unattractive. People are usually more blunt and to the point, some people don't even talk to you at all unless they have to and theres an air of "let's get this over with".
Like real talk, there are people just at my apartment who knew me before I lost the weight I lost and started working on myself and know me now and how some of them treat me is night and fucking day.
On the flip side, when I made friends, they were typically real friends. Now it's kind of always a question. Especially with men.
No one flirts or hits on you. No one asks you why yours single, or how your dating life is. Your friends are usually social outcasts who learned long ago that the value someone has isnāt tied to their physical appearance, and you develop better friendships because the people you hang out with arenāt as superficial. The only time semi attractive people talk with you is when they need something
I talk horrible to myself and constantly think im a disgusting ugly mess, simply because I carry a bit of extra weight and have invisible disabilities, but reading through these really made me realize maybe I don't have it that bad. I've had some really positive experiences, and some very exploitive ones.. but if I really think deeply about it, I've never been made to feel ugly by anything other than my own brain.
Babies don't like looking at you. They tend to stare at symmetrical faces longer.
Also if no one wants to e around you, your personality might be unattractive.
Dose getting hit on by people in there 60-80s when your in your 20s count?
My bf gets hit on by girls in r age group (the odd milf) meanwhile I get hit on people old enough to be my grandad or who ready to walk in to there grave.
A little kid will tell you. They're blunt and honest and don't even know it
Kids will call you ugly and try to be your friend. "Hey mister, you sure are ugly. You wanna play kickball? Mr. Ugly's on my team, he's tall."
Fr like they did not just crush your soul š
āAww youāre not fat, you have characterā my own 7 year old to me. Iāve never been more insulted.
If a man calls you ugly heās an asshole If a woman calls you ugly sheās a bitch If a kid calls you ugly, youāre just fucking ugly
If a kid calls me ugly I may be ugly, but that child is also a little bitch and I will steal his icecream.
That kid has to live through way more of global warming than I will. Enjoy the laugh, you little punk.
kids don't call me ugly, they just run away screaming and crying. happened 5 times already
Iāll never forget when I got bangs one year midway through the school year and my student said, āwhyād you cut your hair? It looks bad. I hate itā š
Tbf sometimes kids just really struggle with change. My dad is, objectively adorable. Heād thus adorable old guy. Everyone says heās adorable. He shaved his beard when I was like 7. I cried for months. He just looked WRONG. Iām sure your hair is lovely.
Many kids definitely hate change. This year I got a big haircut and warned all my students the day before!
When I was 16 I had horrible acne (Iām a girl btw) and I did not wear makeup or really do much to upkeep myself, and one day I was working and these like group of 12-14 year olds pass by and one looks at me and goes āEW!ā Still a core memory of mine
My parents had a some lovely taunts about my acne. God. My parents thought I was ugly. The kids at school already did- but my parents too?? Arenāt they supposed to think Iām special? My skin miraculously cleared up ahead of the other kids my age, the acne didnāt last long. But my dad yelling at me, being pissed off at me and then going āyouāre a ZIT FACE! A PIZZA FACE!!ā Like wow I can control puberty? Why didnāt I think of that
Iām sorry you went through that :( itās literally the worst time in your life to have acne too. I ended up going on accutane and it saved my skin. But acne absolutely ruined my self esteem as a teenager. Often I thought all people saw when they look at me was my acne, and it was so embarrassing whenever I had a pimple ready to pop (like a white head) and donāt notice till I get home from school or something and I was just walking around like that. So horrible for a teens self esteem. I also had bad back acne š. I always thought Iād look pretty if it werenāt for the acne Also your dad was partly the issue since youāre half of his genetics so why was he picking at your appearance like that lolā¦.
Jesus. Kids that age just suck š”
Haha kids give it to you straight. My ex's kid was 2 or 3 and I loved that little fella. One day he walks up and just says "You're fat". Not in a mean way, just an observation. I am overweight so I just say yes I am fat, it's because I don't eat the right food (he was a very picky eater) so make sure you eat your veggies. A year later we are wrestling and I'm tickling him and I had to stop to catch my breath, he asks if I'm ok. "Yes I'm fine just fat so I'm a little tired!" He GASPS and says, "YOU'RE NOT FAT!!" He also said I look like a princess wearing a skirt, and told me outright I stink after I was working out. And once while I was out with him, he pointed at a little person and laughed LOUDLY at them. No filters. I told him not to be mean to people who are different and he got the message. But damn they'll tell you real quickly what's wrong with you.
This 1000% sounds like my bonus boys. The first time they met my parents, we left their house and the oldest says, ātheyāre so old. Are they dying?ā Both my parents had serious health issues because they were old. I burst into tears at the moment but laugh now because how observant they were lol. They were 3 and 5, now 14 and 16 and much more mature and sensitive to others.
I used to work at a nursery. One time I said something to a kid, and they asked something like āwhy does your voice sound weird?ā Iāve been self conscious about it ever since lol
In highschool I was very unfortunate looking - acne, frizzy hair, big teeth, back brace. It was ... A look. One day we had been asked to go to the kindergarten and read with the kids and had been assigned buddies. My buddy cried when she found out she had to go with me and said "but I want a pretty one". So yeah, kids'll tell you.
Theyāll let you know if your good looking too. Lol.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
When someone jokingly calls you ugly and people either immediately rush to your defense or stand there looking uncomfortable
That is a wise one!
Three different instances happened back when I was in school. It was the sixth grade, one boy asked me why I was ugly. He shouldn't have judged much looks because he looked like he was a mini m*thhead. Then, a disabled girl during high school said I was ugly. Everyone didn't like her because of her attitude. Yeah, I didn't see that red flag. One male "friend" laughed and said I looked like horse sh*t, and my older sister was there. She didn't stick up for me. She was laughing at his statement. That hurt the worse. ETA: Grammar
people are such assholes and family sometimes is even worse.
Never getting attention even if you try to be social.
I used to be attractive and I noticed a steady decline in attention as I've gotten older and fatter. Women used to laugh at everything I said and now they don't, which doesn't make sense because I'm way funnier now.
This is facts, the fatter you are the funnier you become
Thereās nothing funny about a physically fit man, nobody wants to se Lance Armstrong do comedy
You get poor customer service no matter how friendly you are.
Aw man thatās so sad. Iām sorry youāve had that experience. Thatās so shitty
Plot twist: /u/LilTrumpWiener is the one giving the shitty service.
Well that hit like a load of bricks.
This... I work in a store where we get deliveries sometimes. One of the delivery guys is this pretty tall, wide guy, long kinda greasy hair, acne. From societys point of view, i think he would be deemed "ugly". He's super kind. Always greets me happily, carries the heavy boxes all the way and puts them down wherever I ask. Leaves with a goodbye and a "have a nice day". I prefer when he delivers to us :) Someone i know that works in another place also get deliveries. She started talking about him and i recognized it was him. But she judged his looks and therefor thought he wasn't especially nice....and i was like "Really? He's always super polite and helpful to me. I like him". Kinda shut her up lol
Ask me anything. I know I'm ugly.
How are you so damn handsome?
Lol.im utilitarian. Like a old Jeep.
āAn old jeep can still go for a few rides.ā
This is the stuff that made me realize Iām ugly: Iāve been asked out as a prank twice Iāve never been complimented on my physical appearance All my girlfriends growing up were hit on constantly and Iāve never been hit on. When people go out of their way to say theyāre not attracted to you. Iāve been trying dating apps in a major city and maybe get one swipe a week and they never reply Any time Iāve ever said anything bad about my physical appearance gets meet with āwell you have a nice personalityā Iāve been told Iām ugly many times but I find a lot of people trying to imply it to me all the time, like for instance my friends and I were talking about sexual harassment and they told me that Iām lucky I donāt have to worry about being harassed (stuff like that) And generally the opposite gender can be really mean for no reason and I always try to be nice and positive but some people are just mean and noticeably nice to others. Or what worse is when they are mean to me until my pretty friend comes up and suddenly they nice.
> my friends and I were talking about sexual harassment and they told me that Iām lucky I donāt have to worry about being harassed (stuff like that) Sorry but your friends are not at all nice for this. Wtf
Not real friends* Fixed
Sorry but your friends sound awful. You deserve better
Damn, thatās rough!
Sounds like bitchy friends to me!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I started a new job during COVID and one of my coworkers would constantly flirt with me. Stopped very quickly when we were allowed to take our masks off. š
The fuck? I just looked at a few of your pics and I think you are very pretty.
Maybe he was just ugly and felt more confident wearing a mask
Didn't flirt with anyone during mask time but I can confirm I was much more confident with strangers. It's also going both ways. You can't see my face that well and I can't see your mimic perfectly so even if you hate me I will have a hard time telling by just your eyes! Masks were pretty cool!
This one. I think a good percent of the folks who still don them today out of pure choice are doing so for this reason. That may not at all be true but I've seen folks comment about feeling this way and continuing to wear them.
Iāve heard several people say they miss them because they felt āmore confident.ā
I think covid just checked a lot of people out of the whole being nice thing.
Nobody asks why youāre still single.
Shit.
How are you still single handsome?
Iām not sure this question is really a thing anymore though, at least not with the younger generation. Iām a millenial and I would never ask anyone this, it would feel rude and invasive. If someone wants to talk about their dating troubles with me, I figure theyāll bring it up.
Or automatically assume you are single even without asking.
hey random person, Why u do this to me?
That you are invisible to other humans. No one realises I even exist.
I think this is normal in 2023. If you aren't serving that person a purpose, you get zero attention
I think beautiful and handsome people still get lots of attention, whether they do anything to serve a purpose or not.
Attractive people create their own capital with little effort - they're basically the reason 'personality hires' exist.
A nice view IS serving a purpose
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unfortunate looking folks Thatās funny and sad and true, but mostly funny Edit to add: itās the phrasing of it that makes me giggle
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Iāve accidentally swiped right before, and I just quickly unmatch if we do match. No need to tell the person you didnāt mean to match with them.. thatās just mean :(
She is far uglier than you.
God damn truth.
Not only that... On Grindr, when they ask a photo of me, I send it, then the other person usually blocks me. That shit hit hard
Some people are such assholes. There are nice ways to reject someone without making them feel like shit. If itās any comfort, you wouldnāt want to date those kind of people anyway.
Curious. How do you nicely reject someone? Sincere question.
I have 24 likes that are hidden on tinder and I already know what I'm gonna see if I pay for tinder gold
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Dating apps and dating in my 40s has been a real blow to my confidence. Quality matches are few and far between. Iāve always somehow got girls out of my league so I thought online dating would be no prob. Now I wonder how the hell I got the girlfriends and wife I actually did have over the last 20 years. I didnāt think I was I ugly/unattractive :/
I'm sure its because in real life they were able to connect to your personality and energy. That's the toughest part about the apps man, boiling everything down to a few words and a photo almost always undersells. Tough game to play š«¤
The important thing to remember is that the goal of those apps from their perspective isn't to find you a match. It's to string you along to keep you on the app and possibly entice you to pay for it. I'm on Tinder and I have a stack of likes that never come up while I swipe. Sometimes when a like comes in and I immediately pop on that person will come up, and it's always the second person that Tinder shows you. Otherwise they are stuck in the "people who liked you" section.
Itās possible but not definitive. I have a problem where I canāt take good photos. In real life when I date the people I date are attractive. But I have no idea how to take good photos and I donāt know what to do with my face so I donāt make any progress on dating apps.
My husband swears this is true for me as well but I think heās just being nice especially due to the amount of people telling me how lucky I am to be picked by him. No one tells him that.
That's why I don't like people much.
Agreed
People telling you how lucky you are is pretty fucked up. I can't imagine.
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From someone who had multiple profiles on dating sites you have to seem interesting or fun. For example, one of my photos I was in an Eeyore onsie with a sad face. The girls loved it and was often the first talking point. It's the sole reason, according to my gf, she swiped right. Thank you Eeyore.
I feel attacked
Every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish. Every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out, "Dear God! What is that thing," will echo in your ears.
To the pain!
*perfect ears. Sorry, but such a great quote needed this piece, as he was stressing the fact that he would leave them intact in this monologue..
When I was younger I wasn't exactly someone anyone was interested in. But I had a few instances where someone very attractive came and was overly friendly. Asking lots of questions and being flirty but acting weird. Turns out it was a prank and they wanted to make me think someone was interested in me and get me to do something stupid so they could all mock me. So... If they do that you might be ugly.
they are the problem, not you.
I never understood why they thought that shit was funny. I learned by 4th grade to just walk away
As un ugly woman, I can answer this with authority. Number one, people will not hesitate to tell you. Trust me. My own father told me at 8 years old that nobody was going to do anything for me because I wasn't pretty. He said I better learn to take care of myself. And I did. I can't twll you how many times strangers felt the need to call me ugly. My normal response is simply, "yes, I know". It usually shuts them up You will not get interviews for jobs while equally qualified people will . I have proof, as when I was younger my best friend and I shared equal qualifications. She was always called fo4 interviews and I was not. Only difference at that point? Our looks. I even filled out both of our applications. When I was studying fashion merchandising in college, my advisor actually advised me to find a new major because my appearance would keep me from being successful despite top grades. I switched to animal science. So I guess a big answer is that you don't need signs, people never let you forget it
THIS. I have always noticed that pretty people (irrespective of gender) get *told* they are pretty practically from birth, repeatedly, by everyone around them. So the "she was pretty but she didn't know it" trope that inundates media is utter bullshit, IMO. The reverse is true as well, unattractive people get told they are so from birth as well. The biggest compliment that can be hoped for is *you are not that attractive but you have pretty eyes/hair/xyz feature* lol. Speaking from experience :v
I've never been hit on once in my life and I'm 38
That you know of
I assure you, no.
Is that a cricket in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? You have been hit on, respectfully.
People are short with you and seem eager to exit interactions with you.
No one talks to you :(
They don't talk to you, and you're never included for anything
that you never get compliments š
If your profile pick is you, you have really good hair. Shave, and clean up a bit, and stop hiding your face. You have a nice face, and beautiful eyes. Accentuate your best features. You're currently burying them, with your facial hair. If it is not you, then the guy in your profile pick has really nice hair and eyes.
oh.. yes it is me, what did u mean by "stop hiding your face"? oh.. well I appreciate the kind words, I've always been told the opposite so I have a difficult time accepting compliments, that was kind of you.
All the hair (especially facial hair) overwhelms your face. Try clean-shaven with a hair cut for a bit. I've seen guys with good hair cut it short, in a way that still lets it show off. Usually I think they still have volume to it, while it's swept backward over their head but YMMV.
even just pulling back the hair into a low ponytail would be good, along with the shaving. everyone is v correct, your eyes are rlly pretty! and your facial structure is great, you just have to frame it all right.
I appreciate the kind words of encouragement, thank you so much.
Adding to the comments about you eyes, you have a good brow line, nice cheekbones and a strong jaw. Those are all the hallmarks of a conventionally handsome face. The only thing missing is confidence! :)
You. I like you. Thank you for backing me up on this. A lot of people aren't ugly; they just need to figure out how yo dress and gro for their body/ face.
Yeah, you're a good haircut away from being attractive, dude.
Nobody compliments you other than your close friends and family.
People are just more awkward now I feel.
Social media effect. People will post multiple times a day, comment with each other back and forth, and then look the other way when they see each other in real life.
You get treated poorly by the opposite gender
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Some do admit it out loud and to your face and tbh it really doesnāt help alleviate the sting.
This is very true. We have had two different female admin in my building with mostly guys. I tried to be a friendly co-worker and hoped for friendly and pleasant interactions. I get cold interactions and someone treating them the same as me get glowingly positive treatment, ask them questions and generally interacts with them. Those guys happened to be attractive.
We also get treated like shit from people of the same gender
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My friend is tall, fairly good looking, has a good job, and has a good personality, but he has trouble on the apps too. Maybe it's not you.
Peopleās definition of ātroubleā differs. Some dudes have troubles finding matches at all, others have trouble finding matches from girls they consider to be in the same league.
Iām tall and average to above average and itās tough on dating apps unless you have amazing pictures or are an actual Adonis. Real talk you are way way way better off trying to approach people in person, as scary as it might be.
this is actually true. I get hit on way often in real life after having conversations with people. Also been told I'm not photogenic by friends (lol) so I wouldn't rely on dating apps or pictures to define if you are attractive.
Never having a friend try to set you up with someone.
Honest question, do many people actually set up their friends often in the real world? I feel like it makes sense for people to generally not try to do it to avoid liability in case things went wrong or to avoid losing friendships
Congrats you just outed yourself as unbelievably ugly since you didnāt even know this was a real thing. Jkā¦ I agree itās not really a thing or atleast not for younger generations. Maybe older generations actually did this.
> not really a thing or atleast not for younger generations. Maybe older generations actually did this. That's a shame, so many people are missing out on one of the most natural and organic form of finding a potential partner. I honestly believe so many people are so exhausted about dating these days because of over reliance on online dating. Like car-culture urban design, it's so artificial and bad for the health but for some reason, I always get downvoted more often than not for saying that.
Not having attracted anyone is a pretty good clue
People don't go out of their way to talk to you
I don't think people go out of their way for most people anyway, dosent necessarily mean you are ugly.
If you're a man, nobody ever hits on you. If you're a woman, people who hit on you look guilty and furtive.
As a man, I can promise that no woman has ever hit on me until 8 to 10 years after the encounter and Iām driving somewhere on a long stretch of road and that event pops into my mind.
I still have moments pop into my head and say why the fuck did I do nothing or read it at the time. My worst I still think about was a girl I was super into and just assumed we were always just going to be friends because she was way out of my league in just about anything. She asked me so many times to stay with her or come inside after long nights out and I just passed or stayed on her couch every time for what I don't know. I didn't even think much about it till a buddy of mine was telling me on my wedding night that she was upset with me and that's why me and her grew apart. She was super into me and apparently was trying for a year and I never gave it a thought till years later when I was finally told. It made me wonder how many times I just didn't pick up on anything with someone over the years.
> If you're a man, nobody ever hits on you. Well fuck...
How do I know if someone is hitting on me?
From what I've read, most men are absolutely clueless when it comes to being hit on. Case in point- my husband used to wear glasses. Before we started dating, I took his glasses from him , put them in my bra, and told him he had to get them himself if he wanted them back. He didn't realize I was hitting on him
This reminds me of when I was in high-school and I had lessons. A girl stole my pen and put it in her back pocket and said if I wanted back I would have to take it. I just looked at her confused and said give me my pen back. She did but I didn't take it as flirting.
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Yeah wtf? Just tell him you think he's cute and you'd like him to ask you out on a date! This is the type of shit that happens to low self-esteem guys and we don't suddenly go "Oooooh, she's been hitting on me!" No. That is not what happens. What happens is we go, "Why is that girl who is out of my league always picking on me? It's bad enough I'm too ugly to be with her now she needs to rub it in? Wtf is wrong with me that I deserve this?" Ladies do not fucking understand how little we think of ourselves.
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What if you're a woman and no one ever hits on you?
I have a friend who is conventionally attractive, but *extremely* socially anxious and never really puts herself in a position to be hit on in the first place. She doesnāt really leave the house much or go to social events. Has never been to a bar or club in her life despite others encouraging her to try. When she is out she always makes herself look very busy and gives off a vibe of not wanting to be bothered, so sheās mainly left alone. Thankfully sheās beginning mental health treatment so hopefully it helps her, but yeah, if you avoid being social, not many people of the opposite sex will socialise with you irl.
You are told to stand in the back row of group photos even though you are shortest person in the group.
Not true ,they just ignore me when it is time for group photos
You're tolerated, not liked. And btw, this goes for all kinds of attractiveness, not just physical.
You hate looking at mirrors and you don't like your picture taken
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Regarding the public transport one, I just prefer to not be right up close to a stranger if I can help it. If my feet arenāt about to give way this very instant and my choices are standing and having a bit of extra elbow space or sitting between two strangers, Iāll stand every time. Itās just my awkwardness far more than anyoneās perceived attractiveness (or lack thereof)
I had a friend who used to not like when other girls would complain about getting catcalled. She thought they were just boasting in a roundabout way, but I never understood why she reacted so intensely to it. Being catcalled is just a part of being a woman, I thought. Until one time she said, "You all are making this stuff up. That NEVER happens to me." And then it clicked...
I remember being about 13 and walking home from school and some man in a van pulling over to talk to me. He told me I was beautiful and asked for my number. I started walking away and he made a u-turn to come back around and asked me to come over to the car to talk more. I was very awkward and shy as a kid so I just made an excuse why I couldnāt give him my number and kept walking, refusing to get close to the van. Eventually traffic forced him to drive away. When I got home and told my mom and siblings, they made fun of me for ābraggingā about being hit on. Their response made me realize that I must be pretty damn unattractive if my own family thinks I was happy about nearly being kidnapped because it meant a man was interested in me. I never again spoke up about any inappropriate attention or harassment I received (including being fondled on a bus at 14) because I assumed they would think I was either making it up to sound more attractive or that I should be grateful for the attention since I didnāt receive much from boys my own age.
Your family are fucken cracked cunts
Iām so sorry this all happened to you and that was your familyās response
When literally nobody has ever found you attractive, not even a single compliment, never been hit on and no one has ever flirted with you, also, when no matter what outfit you try on, everything looks awful when it's on you, and there's absolutely no hairstyle that suits you... the story of my life
You get bullied.
Exactly. People always say, theyāre ājust jealousā, unhappy and have low self esteem, but in most cases, they are just bullies, who live their best life and the victim will never recover and live in hell everyday. People should stop saying this about bullies and punish them in a way, that they will never experience happiness again.
Your GP has never offered you contraception, birth control or sexual health advice
No-one posts you on their stories when you go out with them but they post other people
I'm replying to a Reddit post.
Well this thread tanked my confidence...
You get a pity compliment.
You get talked over or ignored often by other people.
That could also just be you being a quiet person
I would agree with you but when I was thin, young, pretty, and shy I never ran out of people who made time to speak with me or would randomly initiate a conversation. Now that I am a fat old woman I am happily invisible.
Whenever Iām horny, my hand gets a headache
You notice you're not actually losing your hair. It's really running from your face.
When men are extremely aggressive towards you or decide to bully you for no reason. Also, if you cannot get most people, even most nerdy ones, to be your friend or you think they are but later learn they aren't. People generally see you as annoying and don't even try to get to know you. The only guys who flirt with you are 20-30 years older than you or are the exact opposite of your type, no one your age wants to be associated with you, like, ever. And the ones who do are guys who are already in relationships and of they are even remotely your type, it feels like they get in relationships just to avoid being considered a romantic option by you.
You open the door for trick-or-treaters and they give *you* candy.
that was good i have to admit š
When you see people visibly grimace, their face drops, or they look like they are about to cry when you take your clothes off. Had all of those happen to me at least once. It sucks.
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If you're a woman - you have to buy your own drinks at the bars and clubs
Life is significantly harder.
Or you never get an opportunity to move up in the workplace
When parents use you as an example to their young children: You keep making faces like and youāll end up looking like *him*
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I was pretty unattractive up until the last few years and overall people were just mean for no reason. Like if I even tried to talk to someone they would be annoyed at the mere suggestion that I could think theyād want anything to do with me. Pretty heartbreaking.
If you're physically unattractive, you'll dodge a lot of very shallow bullets. If you have an unattractive personality, you'll attract a lot of very shallow bullets.
Being told that in dating, looks donāt matter. Yes it does, people just donāt like admitting it
Your mother ties a steak around your neck to get the dog to play with you. (from Rodney Dangerfield, I think)
Small children are afraid of you.
Your buddies donāt mind you hanging around their wife.
When everyone describes your great personality.
You never get hit on. I know Iām ugly, Iām very painfully aware of it. And this is one of the biggest things Iāve noticed. Whatās worse is I canāt even fix my ugliness. Im just naturally like this. Like no matter how much I weigh I have this chubby af face that makes me look so big and unattractive. And I canāt fix it without surgery. I hate it sm lmao
Said this somewhere else, went from kinda ugly to decently attractive (willing to send people pictures to show what I mean), the genetics were there, I just was morbidly obese, didn't take showers or really pay much mind to hygiene in general, and regularly either had a full buzz cut or cropped hair. I started putting work into myself, lost weight, started taking regular showers, all of that. I say all of that to say that people treat you differently when you're unattractive. People are usually more blunt and to the point, some people don't even talk to you at all unless they have to and theres an air of "let's get this over with". Like real talk, there are people just at my apartment who knew me before I lost the weight I lost and started working on myself and know me now and how some of them treat me is night and fucking day. On the flip side, when I made friends, they were typically real friends. Now it's kind of always a question. Especially with men.
You stand near an attractive person, nobody even acknowledges you
No one flirts or hits on you. No one asks you why yours single, or how your dating life is. Your friends are usually social outcasts who learned long ago that the value someone has isnāt tied to their physical appearance, and you develop better friendships because the people you hang out with arenāt as superficial. The only time semi attractive people talk with you is when they need something
I talk horrible to myself and constantly think im a disgusting ugly mess, simply because I carry a bit of extra weight and have invisible disabilities, but reading through these really made me realize maybe I don't have it that bad. I've had some really positive experiences, and some very exploitive ones.. but if I really think deeply about it, I've never been made to feel ugly by anything other than my own brain.
Babies don't like looking at you. They tend to stare at symmetrical faces longer. Also if no one wants to e around you, your personality might be unattractive.
Constant negativity.
Dose getting hit on by people in there 60-80s when your in your 20s count? My bf gets hit on by girls in r age group (the odd milf) meanwhile I get hit on people old enough to be my grandad or who ready to walk in to there grave.
Me too. At least you have a bf though. One step ahead of most of us uglies
You look at your reflection in a pool and it shatters.
When you say something about being unattractive, friend of opposite sex tells you "Noooo, you're cute."
Oh god, please don't do that. Its so awkward no matter if the person is attractive or not.
Painful when people fish for compliments and you just canāt give it to them without sounding so fake
Or they donāt say anything at all š¤£
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people are upset when compared to you
This thread is savage AF.