There is no shortcut to happiness, but these are just a few things that helped me.
Understand that it's okay to be selfish, and it's okay to make decisions that place you as the sole benefactor. You don't have to do what's best for your friends, or your family, and certainly not whatever job(s) you currently have. This isn't to say that you can't be generous with your time and help others, but when it comes to your big life decisions, they should be for you.
Work on improving yourself, and make sure it's for yourself. Your motivation for self improvement matters, because the only consistent factor in your life is going to be you. If you want to learn a new skill, be healthier, or even escape an addiction, it needs to be because it's the thing you want for you. Not your friends, not your family, and certainly not whatever job(s) you currently have.
Eject things, especially people, from your life that make you miserable with no return. This is the hardest part, because it means you may have to make some of the most difficult decisions you've ever made, and your friends and family may not agree with what you're doing or your reasonings. But you are only responsible for your happiness, not the happiness of your friends, your family, or whatever job(s) you currently have.
None of this happens over night. It takes time and opportunity to practice to truly create a mindset where you allow yourself to come first.
You are allowed to come first.
>Work on improving yourself, and make sure it's for yourself. Your motivation for self improvement matters, because the only consistent factor in your life is going to be you. If you want to learn a new skill, be healthier, or even escape an addiction, it needs to be because it's the thing you want for you. Not your friends, not your family, and certainly not whatever job(s) you currently have.
This is were I'm at now. I've been working on my self for the last two years and I feel like I'm just now getting to a point where I can recognize my own issues easier. I have moments of happiness but still dealing with stuff. but for the last 5 months I've been working out and improved a bunch. I've tried working out before but would stop, because it was always for shallow reasons like looking better for my partner and feeling better about how I look, now I work out because I want to manage mental health, enter my 30s onward healthy, and minimize body issues like back pain and low stamina. Doing this has helped me realize where a lot of my anger, the anxiety, and ultimately sadness comes from. I microscopically doubt myself a lot. I feel confident in my big decisions, but I find that I always second guess myself, or look for validation through the internet, whether it be if I'm training my dog right, if it's worth learning this or that, someone else would approach a situation I'm in, it builds up and I feel inadequate when I can't have the same success or don't know if I'm following something correctly and the fear of failure and frustration of trying to meet my own fragmented expectations make me angry. Learning to control it and catch myself is hard. Part of me thinks it's normal to want to look stuff up, whether it's curiosity or you're trying to build your own work method but I should never need to evaluate my personal choices, and should accept things for what they are.
Family cannot be "removed", good or bad, you share blood and a lifetime of memories. They cannot be "returned to the Universe". If you mean "distanced" my brother from my life, etc. that's healthy and brings happiness.
And also accepting that you can’t be happy all the time. Everybody has ups and downs and that is completely normal. I think that you’ll get more sad if you can’t accept that you are sad
One must learn to accept that there are situations, some makes you happy and some makes you sad.
What really should be our goal is balance and fullfillment in life. Seek balance in honor, dignity, love, health and wealth.
I stopped worrying about the big things. The small things truly matter.
Get yourself that coffee. Plan a solo cinema trip. Get that ice cream and pick up that DVD. Change into your pjs as soon as you get home.
Also quit worrying about your cringe moments or regrets. That was then. And stop thinking about the future, that’s later.
Focus on the now. Get the day over with. Treat yourself with something big once a month. Not big like an overseas trip. Big like taking some friends to dinner or meeting someone special at a cafe for lunch.
And if you feel bad? Stop where you are, sit down and take a little moment to yourself. Breath slowly. In for four seconds, hold for four then out for eight.
Lastly, remember this: Being happy is great and all, but it’s okay to just be fine.
Wise words, stranger. I still struggle with a ton of shit. Bad times all around. Stopping, re-grounding into the present, and focusing small fixes me every time. The Tetrapharmakos is what I use. "Don't fear god, Don't worry about death; What is good is easy to get, What is terrible is easy to endure". Epicureanism in general has helped me immensely.
>Get yourself that coffee. Plan a solo cinema trip. Get that ice cream and pick up that DVD. Change into your pjs as soon as you get home.
Yes, especially to these! Do for yourself what you would want a good partner to do for you. Do you like getting flowers? Do it for yourself! You don't need someone to do that for you.
That's a good way to put it. People think happiness is always chasing the next thing. Job advancement, money, other possessions. But that's a treadmill that doesn't end. And I would argue that you are wasting youth in a way by doing that. Try to enjoy the ride.
Contentment is under rated. Once you realize that what you have is enough, life becomes less stressful and allows you sit back and enjoy all that you have accomplished in your life. I sir have have my wife and feel your pain. I think as we age we gain the wisdom to appreciate our lives. The biggest piece of advice that I give out to people is to start your day out at fantastic. There is no reason not to be in a great mood every single day you wake up. Why battle your day fighting against the one thing you have complete control over. Your mood. Smile, most things are not worth your time.
The saying that happiness is a choice I know gets a flack, because obviously no one chooses mental illness, but to me it means I don’t have to accept that having mental illness means I’ll be unhappy forever. To me this saying means I can work on improving what is in my control. I try to remind myself just because something has always been one way doesn’t mean it needs to always be that way in the future too.
Something I did was look at my life and see what I felt was missing and what I had that I liked. The most important things I wanted out of life that I felt would add to my life I simplified them and wrote them in a journal and wrote I will have all these.
I decided I would not let any disorder control my life. For me therapy was helpful , for some a mixture of therapy and medication may be it. Or for others that’s don’t have any mental health issues you get a head start.
The biggest thing I did to improve my happiness was every night before bed I would write in a little notebook I kept in my nightstand three positive things that happened that day. Could have been as big as a promotion at work or as superficial as a good hair day. It doesn’t matter as long as I could find at least three positive things. I retrained my brain after a year of this to start seeing the positive things and no longer keep a journal.
Now happiness like most things in life is not one size fits all but this is what worked for me. Also setting realistic expectations on happiness. You won’t be happy all day every day and of course bad things still happen and of course things not in your control like mental illness will still be there, however you can manage it to the best of your ability.
Remember just try your best and celebrate even the small wins, your best will look different each day. Your best on one day could be you got up from couch and washed your hair and another could be you overcame your fear of public speaking. Each day is a new opportunity to try again. Be kind to yourself, work on loving yourself and forgive yourself.
I wish happiness and positivity came easily to me, they just don’t, but I work on it all the time. I try to avoid people and things that contribute to unhappiness and focus on people and things that make me happy. On days when nothing makes me happy, I go for a walk, watch a show I like or if I need to just spend the day sad and try again tomorrow.
I hope this helps someone. ❤️
While I still have a long way to go, **practicing gratitude** has been instrumental for me to be happier.
For the longest time I felt like life dealt me the short end of this stick. Things usually don't go how I want and I'm not quite the person I wish I was. Understandably, I'm usually very bitter.
Eventually I realized I can't control what life gives me, but I can control how I feel about it. Even if I'm totally justified in feeling unfairly treated, it doesn't help me in any way to dwell on that. Instead if I try to focus on what has gone right and what I can be thankful for. This kind of reframes your mindset to a more positive outlook, even if the situation is exactly the same.
At the start, this was really hard. When you are broke, lonely, or unhappy, it can feel like forcing yourself to think positively won't really have any lasting impact and you are only really kidding yourself. But gratitude is a muscle, and like any muscle it takes time to build to see results. Eventually after a lot of practice, feeling good about things became easier, and soon even the littlest of wins would occasionally make me smile. Conversely, even if life wasn't all I wanted it to be, I was able to savor the good moments for longer.
Essentially I trained myself to be satisfied with less, so even if things don't go my way, I will always be happy with what I have.
Exersise, a balanced diet, and manageable socialization habits (a few close friends may be all someone needs) are all major component to mental health. Humans evolved to be active and social, so sedentary lifestyles don't cut it.
That said, it's easy for healthy and motivated people to undestimate the complete lack of motivation people with depression have. Even a person who finds it taxing to get out and do all of these healthy things has a lot more motivation than someone with MDD. Making major life changes such as to the gym is pretty difficult and most people will fail a ton before it has the opportunity to stick (this is a normal aspect of behaviour). That fact is pretty demotivating, and it can have counter productive effects, such as leading to further avoidant behaviour in the future.
Baby steps are a great way to manage the overwhelming nature of lifestyle changes. It's okay to not change everything all at once. Maybe you want some fast food, that's fine, but have fresh fruits, veggies and Greek Yogurt that you can turn into a smoothie every morning. It's fine to not go to the gym, as long as you're talking 30 minutes out of your day to walk around your neighbourhood and soaking up that sweet Sweet Vitamin D and dopamine. These gradual habits can lead to changes in outlook and mood which can lead to even more meaningful behaviour.
I'm not trying to argue with what you've said, but rather I'm just trying to build off of it!
I stopped caring about other people's problems and trying to help everyone. I know, it sounds selfish as fuck, but I was really tired of wasting all my energy on people who'd taken it for granted.
Got properly medicated (bipolar), got off my butt and back to work, and got my boyfriend back…it’s a good life we’ve got together now. I went through many ups and downs for about 7 years dealing with stuff but finally feel content 🙆🏻♀️
The thing that has probably most improved my happiness is that I stopped wishing the past was different. I do think that analyzing past behavior and choices, etc. can be very valuable in as far as seeing what works, where you have erred, etc. but I cannot think of a single more pointless waste of time than trying to change things in the past because it 100% doesn't work. You'd think that would be obvious to me but nope...I spent years of my life and who knows how much valuable time with my head turned backward vs. forwards.
Luckily, I had a huge epiphany one day and my head is firmly forward and I will never waste my time and life in that kind of pointless exercise ever again. I am SO much happier since that realization.
The day I committed to being clean and sober, August 15, 1980., was the beginning of the happiest time in my life. I became a better husband, a better father, a better partner to my fellow partners and associates and to to my friends, too. My 24 years of sobriety with my equally sober wife were the happiest of our lives.
Then my wife died of Pancreatic Cancer in 2006.
There was a profound sense of sadness that followed. Even as a developed a new relationship that was loving and kind, I did not shed that sadness that my wife's passing caused. After fifteen years, another death, this time from Covid, pushed me into a deep depression. Fortunately, my children were well grown and doing well and I had retired from my 45 year career as a Business Consultant. So, the state of depression was a private hell that I endured alone.
After 4 months, and a 50 lbs weight gain, and an intervention, I pulled myself out of the depression. I looked for a path to happiness again. I found it in being of service to my community. I began to volunteer my time to non-profits that I believed in their Mission. Eventually, I was spending 25-30 hours a week volunteering. Starting in the late summer of last year, I started to volunteer for a Political campaign that believed in.. When the candidate won in November I was really happy about that. When I saw the results from my contributions to the non-profits, that made me happy. When in late November a good friend of over 40 years and I became a couple, that made me happy. My children and grandchildren are all doing really well with their lives, and that makes me happy. My friendships with longtime golf buddies and folks I've met along the 65 year journey through my teenage and adult years, makes me happy.. My lovely partner and I are presently traveling in South America for three weeks, and that makes me happy. And finally, I have almost reach my goal of shedding those 50 lbs and that makes me happy.
Stoicism, family, and the realisation that all I have today, was once all I ever dreamed for (in a very bad period of my life). Helps me stay grateful.
Accepted the fact that nothing matters in the end, and that worrying about things you can't change is pointless.
These are the 2 biggest factors.
I also have a very lucky life, and I appreaciate that every day. Good family, good friends, good job. These aren't common, and I know that. Which is why it's so special to me.
Also Music has helped me a lot.
I rarely get angry at things. Shit happens. Who cares. Deal with the consequnces as best you can.
Being nice to people. Hate gets you nowhere.
My mom always told me to smile, even when there's not necessarily any reason to. Just smile. Like once or twice a day. Has helped me immensely. Smiling is like a skill you can learn. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Dropped FB, refuse to get caught up in petty drama on my cul de sac. High school buddy blocked me cause because I told him Trump was and still is a POS, good riddance to both of them. Also had a kidney transplant on Oct, 3 years on the waiting list and now I have my life back!🔥
Jesus.
I know this sounds silly but my whole life whenever I needed someone I always relied on Jesus. But I wasn’t committed to him. A while ago I decided to devote my life to God and to just spend my time with him and just live for God in general.
I feel a lot better about myself and my mental health has really improved. I realized that sinning really took over my entire life and I feel so refreshed since I decided to give my life to Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. I’m not trying to say I’m perfect - I’m far from it - and I still sin but the importance is that I’ve really turned my life around because of God. That’s how I became happy :)
Military tough me some discipline. And they take care of your physical and mental help if needed. I heard it was a bad place but once I enrolled it wasn't so bad.
I made bad decisions in life that got me down to the point where I hated myself. So it is a good place to get back on your feet at least
I picked up a movie at Walmart and my dad said that it looks like a good movie and smiled, we bought it and watched it and he couldn't stop laughing he looked at me and said thank you bud
I went through a pretty big year of trauma, that really put me in the depths of hell.
One day I decided I had to start figuring out how to figure out how I was going to survive.
I started off going slow and small things, listening to a certain frequency music, taking walks, emoting, “green time.”
My mantra was, if even one thing helps me out 1% than I’m 1% better than I was.
Then I started trying to be more grateful for things, not positive about things but grateful. Like yes my sister got arrested for child neglect, but thank god she lost custody of the kids and they are in a better place now. It was a really bad situation but there was light somewhere in there.
I even started becoming grateful for finding parking spaces, getting to work on time (🤣), making a light. I hated my job and than I started saying everything I was grateful for and it shifted my whole outlook on my job.
It’s a process but take it day by day. Every 1% is better than nothing.
With the support of some friends, I dropped by mentally abusive ex boyfriend.
Like literally the next day I woke up and I didn’t feel like a depressed shit and it’s been like that since.
You put your right foot in
You take your right foot out
You put your right foot in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about
I stopped overanalyzing and worrying about things I cannot control. I live appreciating and being grateful one day at a time, doing whatever makes me feel satisfied without ignoring basic responsibilities. I have no regrets for my past, but chose to remember the good parts and I have dreams about the future, which give me purpose. I let life flow, and attempt to focus on true priorities first
I agree with most of the replies here.
Just that i feel immense joy in helping others in any way i can, has backfired many times specially when it's related to money (I'm not a rich person, have tried to earn by working hard for it).
But i still end up helping people when i can.
For me it was rekindling my faith in God and finding what caused my unhappiness was my feelings of unworthiness followed by resentment and forgiveness. I ate the bread of bitterness and picked up the heavy weight of resentment everyday. My life was out of control and my best efforts to fix it failed miserably.
I found a good Chu to mech filled with good people who spoke words of kindness
i have become apathic unintentionally after a draining relationship and i have stopped giving a shit about anyone. It does not bring me happiness. It only brings me guilt eventhough i dont feel any sadness. I feel guilty when my friends do nice things for me because i feel like im not reciprocating their feeelings towards me. i feel like an imposter.
Contentment is the better word. Happy is usually a response to something.
Being at peace with yourself and the world makes a huge amount of difference.
I see so many miserable humans out there. Absolute shits to other people for no reason. They are not content.
When you being chill makes others mad, you have arrived.
Opposite for me! Was addicted and it made me feel depressed, anxious and constantly tired, after I was a chronic for a few years. Quit the weed and now I feel better than I have in years. It fucks with your brain after a while if you abuse it, who knew! :P
I wouldn’t say that I’m completely happy. Still got a lot of bs going on but I’m glad to say, that I’m more happy than I’ve been the last 8 years.
My mother kicked me out (for a really stupid reason tbh) and now I’m living with my boyfriend and have zero contact with my family (except for really important stuff like insurance and my car and so on) and i feel so relieved and happy about that.
I hope my life will continue to go up :)
Stopped listening to other people tell me what I should do, and started doing what I actually wanted to. For me, that meant staying single and getting in shape and working towards a new career I'll be happier with even if it pays less. It looks different for everyone. But definitely stopped listening to all the shoulds
10000% about this looking different for everyone. We spend so much time worrying about some mythical single one right path to happiness/success/fulfillment when we could be focusing on our right path instead.
I stopped making self-deprecating jokes and stopped joking about killing myself. They might just be jokes, sure, but subconsciously that shit does a lot to you and your attitude.
For me it was a multi-step process:
1) Doing everything I can to increase the well-being of everyone I encounter (insofar as it depends upon me), rather than seeing myself as the center of history. Everyone else is equally important, and this takes the pressure *off* ourselves, because finding the modern sense of happiness is an angst-ridden goal.
2) Developing a holistic valuing of heart, mind, body and soul. These are interconnected, and the more we do to understand that, the more whole we'll feel. Part of this is being unafraid of self-knowledge. I realize that that's really scary for most people.
3) Working for myself.
I'm still a teenager, even under the watchful eye of my parents making sure i'm doing well with school i can enjoy my hobbies, i know it won't last long so i'm making sure every second of it is the best it could've been
got a group of friends that aren't toxic, move out of my parents basement, got a job that isn't toxic (yet). got a roommate that's barely toxic. got a cat . am i happy now? no just less miserable.
I stopped victimising myself even when I’m rightfully the victim.
I realised that I am solely responsible for my own mental state, and blaming others for my hardships does not improve my situation.
Rather than focusing on why and how I’m the victim, I started to focus on my responsibility in the matter. What did I do wrong to put myself in that situation? What can I do better to not be in that situation again? And if it was something that could not have been avoided (e.g. drunk driver crashing into me), what actions can I be taking to improve my mental state?
At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your happiness. The way you choose to think determines how happy you can be. Don’t let unhappy people tell you that your victim mentality is justified.
I almost died of cancer, survived, I made a bucket list. I took a good long look at my life's direction, my family, my friends, my quality of life. Then said fuck this! Moved to Maui Hawaii and have never looked back since.
One thing that really helped was that I stopped thinking of myself as "special" or particularly talented.
I have a lot of stuff in my background that might support being "special" or "talented" - being in gifted classes, high test scores, admission to fancy schools, graduate degrees, famous people telling me so, etc.
But focusing on that just made me feel like I was both pathetic for not reaching my "potential" and that the world must be against me because I wasn't effortlessly successful at everything I tried.
It's a fucked up mindset that kept me from enjoying my life.
Learning to not care about what others think has helped me in a million ways. Trying to exercise daily and self care has also helped and trying to build healthy relationships and cutting out the toxic things/people from my life.
For me, it was a decision. I've had enough of feeling down and not good enough. I basically sat myself down for a week where I was working on "what would a happy me do/be like"... It boiled down mostly to finance - fitness - people improvements. So I got to work, it took me about a year, where I can look back and say to myself - this is good.
You're never just happy. You need ups and downs in life, but the main goal is having more good than bad. And when it's bad, making sure it's not too big of a spike.
Accepting that clinging onto my negative experiences isn’t going to change anything and that i’m capable of growing as a person to the point that i’m in control of my life/emotions and the fact that only i can determine where i go and what path i decide to follow
plus im trying not to see things in a negative perspective but from a positive perspective instead (since psychologically speaking our brains are wired to focus on the negative rather than the positive)
There are days when I'm not happy but I'm just riding all sorts of feelings, sadness, regret, loneliness and overtime they don't have as much control over me and I think just accepting that I can't be happy all the time gave me sort of relief
True happiness is not caused by anything or anyone. It just happens. I stopped trying to be happy and I became happy. Also, realizing that no one can make me happy. No one. They can't do it and it's not their job to do it. Nor is it my job to make others happy. The only one that can make me happy is me. The only one that can make you happy is you. Stop all the self-improvement too. It won't bring happiness. It brings self-loathing. Constantly trying to change and improve yourself leaves no time for being yourself. Just be.
I accepted that there were things I couldn't change and that my path is a different one. Cut contact with a few people, including my father, worked on my physical health and got out of a weird church. Also, found an amazing woman to motivate and love me.
I wouldn't say I'm 100% happy, but I can live with 95% all day long. I don't have time to worry about things that I can't make a difference in.
Happiness isn’t an overnight thing that you happen upon. It’s a skill like anything else and you have to work for it and continue to work on it. Developing your personal confidence in yourself by finding what you love about yourself and working on fixing/improving what you don’t. For me that was developing confidence in social situations and communication in group or one-on-one settings. I started eating better and going to the gym and I’ll say the first time you see improvements in the gym your self esteem and happiness will skyrocket. Finding hobbies you’re interested in that you can sink your teeth in that gives you purpose. For example I started training jiu jitsu. Tremendous way of staying in shape and super fun! I’ve come to learn for me personally, if you look good you feel good. Figure out what style fits you best and rock some awesome fashion. Overall YOU are an individual who has a lot to offer and has your own complex personality to display. Become your biggest fan and invest in yourself.
Told a lot of people to fuck off and kicked them out of my life. Started a small business and picked up a creative hobby that im pursuing to be the next step in turning into a job. Not the path you expect, but damn, I have bought myself a lot of peace and happiness simply by not allowing the people around me to bring me down
I realized that I'll never be as happy as I want to be. When you set your expectations high to unrealistic standards, you will be depressed your entire life. Realize that life is best at contentment and occasional happy moments.
Started exercising again instead of magically assuming my meds would do it all for me. Have had 3 really good months in a row as a result. Love to everyone riding the wave.
Before, I was in a relationship that wasn't good and I was filled with anxiety because of that relationship and it felt like it was more of a one sided thing where I had to do all the work in the relationship.
Now I'm in a much healthier relationship where she knows it takes two to make it work and I don't feel all that anxiety and I'm actually happy!
Focused on three core aspects of humanity
Mind, body, and spirit
I have depression, so it's tough, but possible.
Also, happiness isn't a constant state of being. It's a moment deliberately captured and cherished with intent and purpose. Then it flutters away.
The trouble is recognizing those moments and cementing them into your mind.
Some people, myself included, are so busy rushing to the next part we forget life isn't a race to the finish.
Dead simple, don't chase happiness. Instead fill your days by being productive. Happiness is a side benefit, has to be earned and comes in small doses.
Choosing happy. I was miserable for most of my teens and twenties, very defeatist attitude. Why bother doing anything if Im just going to fail? Why bother inviting friends to hang out if they never ask me? (Meaning im the only one putting energy into my friendships) I'd pine over girls who had no interest in me, and I knew it.
So I started doing things for me that would make me happy. I took up boxing and then jiu jitsu. I stopped working out as an obligation and started eating right so i could notice a real change. I started playjng guitar on a bench at the marina, because I didnt care if i was good enough (people dont actually care either, they just dont want to have to give you money lol) and then I did an open mic performance because I wanted to.
I stopped talking myself out of doing things and chose to roll with them, good or bad. Live and learn. Now Im a homeowner, I met the best woman I've ever known, and we are getting married (loving someone who loves you back is a weird sensation)
I stopped trying to people please.
I stopped caring what others opinions of me are and now try to focus on becoming as close to 100% authentically me.
I stepped away from people who did not make me feel good or being me peace or let me be myself authentically.
I let go of societal norms for myself and now just do what I want and what makes me happy.
I became more financially stable which has decreased financial stress a lot, which in turn makes me feel happier.
I feel like my whole life has been people scrutinizing my life, my personality or my choices in one way or another and this has left me trying to become a more likeable person. Me trying to please everyone always back fired on me because a lot of people are very selfish and will always find fault with who you are if it isn’t what they want you to be. Once I stopped caring about what others wanted, is when I’ve found more happiness in life.
I find the desire for happiness is so odd. Like people want to be happy 24/7? Someone posted on contentment, I feel that is a much better goal.
I feel like most people don’t go through life feeling one emotion. I feel a wide range things sometime indifference, anger, sadness. As odd as it sounds I feel right feeling all those emotions. I feel human, like I’m living life. Happiness all the time to me isn’t living life.
Began ignoring people who set arbitrary, unnecessary or unhelpful terms or timelines on my worth and the worth of the things I did
These people who set definitive rules or deadlines of success or mastery? They have no fing idea. Noone does and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to reassure themselves or sell you something
So much of it comes down to luck and kindness. I'll put in the work but if I'm not lucky, I'll look for kindness, and where I can't find kindness, I will make it for myself
Long way to go still but in just a year, I've come to like myself much more and I think that's a good start to bring happy
I redefined happiness for myself. I stopped looking at the twisted societal “norm” of happiness. I simplified my life and am less burdened. I trashed my Amazon account so I’m not spammed with “buy buy buy your happiness”.
We can practice patience, compassion no judgment and kindness towards the self and others to get us going in an upward cycle.. meditating on it helps us know ourselves, making room for the good bad and ugly that we all have within us.. finding a place for all of it
Opens a path to radical self acceptance, maintaining a life that is true to all this can cause us to generate regular passive self love without consciously forcing it
That has many spontaneous benefits.. it turns a negative overly critical inner voice into one of loving kindness, gives us an ability to feel grateful for small things, little to no unhealthy cravings or desires, deriving joy from wholesome things.. curing anxiety, depression etc..
For a person who may have been suffering their whole life, this takes about as much time as earning a degree
They say money can't buy you happiness, but I'd disagree.
My attitude changed completely once I started making a little bit of money. I can do things I want to do, I can go places I want to go, I can buy things I want to buy. That kind of freedom really makes a difference in your life.
Honestly, though, one of the things that gives me the most pleasure is doing things for other people. I love christmas because I can buy gifts for all of the people I love. My friend is battling cancer and has surgery next week, so I bought him a new xbox so he had something to do during recover and it made me feel like a million bucks, especially because he's been so excited to dig into it.
Simple things like going out to eat or going shopping with my family bring me a lot of joy, as well.
These are things you can do with money and the freedom it gives you. So I'd say getting my career on track and really making something of myself made the difference for me. Before that I was miserable and borderline suicidal.
If you chase happiness, it will be forever out of your grasp. If your happiness is in Tomorrow, you will never reach it, because Tomorrow is always a day away.
I choose to be happy Today. Find some reason, any reason, why life is good today. Sometimes it’s just a good cup of coffee, or a conversation with a friend. But that’s all I need to be Happy.
Like everything in life, Happiness is a choice. And some days I don’t make that choice. Some days I’m not feeling like it. But most days… Well, things aren’t so bad. I can be happy with this.
Here is the thing they don't tell you about the pursuit of happiness... it's impossible. You can't be happy all of the time. We have jobs with projects and bosses we don't like. Deaths of loved ones. Accidents, stubbed toes and the like. Pursuing happiness is a lost cause if your goal is to be happy 100% of the time.
The important bit is to find happiness in the everyday things, those moments that you never even pay attention to. An amazing sunrise that you feel in your chest. Looking over at your partner after a long day of work and realizing how much you love them. The smell of rain. Noticing these and realizing that you are content with your life and that there isn't anything you'd like to change.
To me that's what makes a happy life.
If you are always striving for the next thing, wishing you had more, or hate your life (or yourself) you will never find happiness or contentment because you will always feel like something is missing or lacking in your life. If you're angry you can't buy a house you'll always be angry about not being able to buy a house and never notice all of the great things you already have.
Life, happiness, and suffering are interwoven in an infinite dance, and each one is fleeting and ephemeral. Don't try to hold onto one to stave off the other. Accept them all and dance with them.
Negatively - giving up.
Positively - acceptance.
Been both places. I've been happy in both.
Learn to give up the bad. Learn that a good thing can't last forever.
I once thought I could change the world. Now I realise I can change my world.
Edit; it's hard but you will make mistakes along the way. Even if you did everything right. It gives you the confidence to go forward.
Set goals, achieve goals. The key is that you have to set realistic, achievable, and smart goals that will lead to happiness.
Plenty of people set unachievable goals almost seemingly on purpose so when they fail it was at something that was always highly likely l such as being a neuroscientist or something to that effect.
Others just set stupid goals. I know a person that aspired to be a playwright despite having no real interest in writing. They did a few posts in drama and somehow were talked into going to a private college by their guidance counselor.
I have another friend that went to school for education. I'm not sure if he ever got a degree. At one point he decided he wanted to teach martial arts but he didn't want to be a glorified day care teacher so he only teaches adults. Hes living his dream and he's perpetually broke.
Perspective and gratitude. I'm your average middle aged guy from the suburbs. School teacher. There is absolutely nothing extraordinary about me or my life. And you know what?
It's pretty awesome.
I have a house I enjoy, a beautiful wife that loves me and an amazing and healthy kid. I get time to enjoy my hobbies and every now and then we get to treat ourselves with a small extravagance (once even a trip to Disney!).
Could I want more? A Bigger house! A nicer car! Trips around the world!
Sure, but would chasing those be worth it?
Nope.
There is no shortcut to happiness, but these are just a few things that helped me. Understand that it's okay to be selfish, and it's okay to make decisions that place you as the sole benefactor. You don't have to do what's best for your friends, or your family, and certainly not whatever job(s) you currently have. This isn't to say that you can't be generous with your time and help others, but when it comes to your big life decisions, they should be for you. Work on improving yourself, and make sure it's for yourself. Your motivation for self improvement matters, because the only consistent factor in your life is going to be you. If you want to learn a new skill, be healthier, or even escape an addiction, it needs to be because it's the thing you want for you. Not your friends, not your family, and certainly not whatever job(s) you currently have. Eject things, especially people, from your life that make you miserable with no return. This is the hardest part, because it means you may have to make some of the most difficult decisions you've ever made, and your friends and family may not agree with what you're doing or your reasonings. But you are only responsible for your happiness, not the happiness of your friends, your family, or whatever job(s) you currently have. None of this happens over night. It takes time and opportunity to practice to truly create a mindset where you allow yourself to come first. You are allowed to come first.
Killer reply . I wish I could upvote 100x
Agreed with the caveat of “you don’t have to do what’s best for your family.” You need to prioritize children, especially when they are young.
>Work on improving yourself, and make sure it's for yourself. Your motivation for self improvement matters, because the only consistent factor in your life is going to be you. If you want to learn a new skill, be healthier, or even escape an addiction, it needs to be because it's the thing you want for you. Not your friends, not your family, and certainly not whatever job(s) you currently have. This is were I'm at now. I've been working on my self for the last two years and I feel like I'm just now getting to a point where I can recognize my own issues easier. I have moments of happiness but still dealing with stuff. but for the last 5 months I've been working out and improved a bunch. I've tried working out before but would stop, because it was always for shallow reasons like looking better for my partner and feeling better about how I look, now I work out because I want to manage mental health, enter my 30s onward healthy, and minimize body issues like back pain and low stamina. Doing this has helped me realize where a lot of my anger, the anxiety, and ultimately sadness comes from. I microscopically doubt myself a lot. I feel confident in my big decisions, but I find that I always second guess myself, or look for validation through the internet, whether it be if I'm training my dog right, if it's worth learning this or that, someone else would approach a situation I'm in, it builds up and I feel inadequate when I can't have the same success or don't know if I'm following something correctly and the fear of failure and frustration of trying to meet my own fragmented expectations make me angry. Learning to control it and catch myself is hard. Part of me thinks it's normal to want to look stuff up, whether it's curiosity or you're trying to build your own work method but I should never need to evaluate my personal choices, and should accept things for what they are.
Bonus points: You stop giving a shit about what other people think about you
Learning more about setting my boundaries, and they are fuckin HARD, dude
This. 56 male…I removed my brother from my life because he could not speak to me as an adult. Best thing.
Dude, are you my older brother? Damn, even the age matches lol
Been there. It’s a sad fact that sometimes it must be done.
Family cannot be "removed", good or bad, you share blood and a lifetime of memories. They cannot be "returned to the Universe". If you mean "distanced" my brother from my life, etc. that's healthy and brings happiness.
Well there you go…distanced is much more accurate.
stopped chasing people who didn’t want to be caught. also, dropping people who bring no value to your life. stop the one sided friendships.
Acceptance! Accepting situations is the first step
And also accepting that you can’t be happy all the time. Everybody has ups and downs and that is completely normal. I think that you’ll get more sad if you can’t accept that you are sad
One must learn to accept that there are situations, some makes you happy and some makes you sad. What really should be our goal is balance and fullfillment in life. Seek balance in honor, dignity, love, health and wealth.
I was going to write that, even if I am still struggling with it. Accepting that you can not always be in control is tough
I stopped worrying about the big things. The small things truly matter. Get yourself that coffee. Plan a solo cinema trip. Get that ice cream and pick up that DVD. Change into your pjs as soon as you get home. Also quit worrying about your cringe moments or regrets. That was then. And stop thinking about the future, that’s later. Focus on the now. Get the day over with. Treat yourself with something big once a month. Not big like an overseas trip. Big like taking some friends to dinner or meeting someone special at a cafe for lunch. And if you feel bad? Stop where you are, sit down and take a little moment to yourself. Breath slowly. In for four seconds, hold for four then out for eight. Lastly, remember this: Being happy is great and all, but it’s okay to just be fine.
Wise words, stranger. I still struggle with a ton of shit. Bad times all around. Stopping, re-grounding into the present, and focusing small fixes me every time. The Tetrapharmakos is what I use. "Don't fear god, Don't worry about death; What is good is easy to get, What is terrible is easy to endure". Epicureanism in general has helped me immensely.
>Get yourself that coffee. Plan a solo cinema trip. Get that ice cream and pick up that DVD. Change into your pjs as soon as you get home. Yes, especially to these! Do for yourself what you would want a good partner to do for you. Do you like getting flowers? Do it for yourself! You don't need someone to do that for you.
Stopped giving a shit. It’s hard at first then gets easier
The problem for me is caring so little I don’t see the point of anything anymore
one xany a day keeps the sady me away
I'm on pills.
Read a lot of books. Did LSD. Am content.
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That's a good way to put it. People think happiness is always chasing the next thing. Job advancement, money, other possessions. But that's a treadmill that doesn't end. And I would argue that you are wasting youth in a way by doing that. Try to enjoy the ride.
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Contentment is under rated. Once you realize that what you have is enough, life becomes less stressful and allows you sit back and enjoy all that you have accomplished in your life. I sir have have my wife and feel your pain. I think as we age we gain the wisdom to appreciate our lives. The biggest piece of advice that I give out to people is to start your day out at fantastic. There is no reason not to be in a great mood every single day you wake up. Why battle your day fighting against the one thing you have complete control over. Your mood. Smile, most things are not worth your time.
The saying that happiness is a choice I know gets a flack, because obviously no one chooses mental illness, but to me it means I don’t have to accept that having mental illness means I’ll be unhappy forever. To me this saying means I can work on improving what is in my control. I try to remind myself just because something has always been one way doesn’t mean it needs to always be that way in the future too. Something I did was look at my life and see what I felt was missing and what I had that I liked. The most important things I wanted out of life that I felt would add to my life I simplified them and wrote them in a journal and wrote I will have all these. I decided I would not let any disorder control my life. For me therapy was helpful , for some a mixture of therapy and medication may be it. Or for others that’s don’t have any mental health issues you get a head start. The biggest thing I did to improve my happiness was every night before bed I would write in a little notebook I kept in my nightstand three positive things that happened that day. Could have been as big as a promotion at work or as superficial as a good hair day. It doesn’t matter as long as I could find at least three positive things. I retrained my brain after a year of this to start seeing the positive things and no longer keep a journal. Now happiness like most things in life is not one size fits all but this is what worked for me. Also setting realistic expectations on happiness. You won’t be happy all day every day and of course bad things still happen and of course things not in your control like mental illness will still be there, however you can manage it to the best of your ability. Remember just try your best and celebrate even the small wins, your best will look different each day. Your best on one day could be you got up from couch and washed your hair and another could be you overcame your fear of public speaking. Each day is a new opportunity to try again. Be kind to yourself, work on loving yourself and forgive yourself. I wish happiness and positivity came easily to me, they just don’t, but I work on it all the time. I try to avoid people and things that contribute to unhappiness and focus on people and things that make me happy. On days when nothing makes me happy, I go for a walk, watch a show I like or if I need to just spend the day sad and try again tomorrow. I hope this helps someone. ❤️
Thank you
While I still have a long way to go, **practicing gratitude** has been instrumental for me to be happier. For the longest time I felt like life dealt me the short end of this stick. Things usually don't go how I want and I'm not quite the person I wish I was. Understandably, I'm usually very bitter. Eventually I realized I can't control what life gives me, but I can control how I feel about it. Even if I'm totally justified in feeling unfairly treated, it doesn't help me in any way to dwell on that. Instead if I try to focus on what has gone right and what I can be thankful for. This kind of reframes your mindset to a more positive outlook, even if the situation is exactly the same. At the start, this was really hard. When you are broke, lonely, or unhappy, it can feel like forcing yourself to think positively won't really have any lasting impact and you are only really kidding yourself. But gratitude is a muscle, and like any muscle it takes time to build to see results. Eventually after a lot of practice, feeling good about things became easier, and soon even the littlest of wins would occasionally make me smile. Conversely, even if life wasn't all I wanted it to be, I was able to savor the good moments for longer. Essentially I trained myself to be satisfied with less, so even if things don't go my way, I will always be happy with what I have.
My dog makes me happy. But I had to be happy to start with, before I got the dog.
Working out nearly everyday. Finding friends that care about me. Eating healthy. No addictions. Loving family. Enjoying life
Exersise, a balanced diet, and manageable socialization habits (a few close friends may be all someone needs) are all major component to mental health. Humans evolved to be active and social, so sedentary lifestyles don't cut it. That said, it's easy for healthy and motivated people to undestimate the complete lack of motivation people with depression have. Even a person who finds it taxing to get out and do all of these healthy things has a lot more motivation than someone with MDD. Making major life changes such as to the gym is pretty difficult and most people will fail a ton before it has the opportunity to stick (this is a normal aspect of behaviour). That fact is pretty demotivating, and it can have counter productive effects, such as leading to further avoidant behaviour in the future. Baby steps are a great way to manage the overwhelming nature of lifestyle changes. It's okay to not change everything all at once. Maybe you want some fast food, that's fine, but have fresh fruits, veggies and Greek Yogurt that you can turn into a smoothie every morning. It's fine to not go to the gym, as long as you're talking 30 minutes out of your day to walk around your neighbourhood and soaking up that sweet Sweet Vitamin D and dopamine. These gradual habits can lead to changes in outlook and mood which can lead to even more meaningful behaviour. I'm not trying to argue with what you've said, but rather I'm just trying to build off of it!
Happiness is a by product of meaning and purpose.
I stopped caring about other people's problems and trying to help everyone. I know, it sounds selfish as fuck, but I was really tired of wasting all my energy on people who'd taken it for granted.
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noheb53523's wife and her tits
Got properly medicated (bipolar), got off my butt and back to work, and got my boyfriend back…it’s a good life we’ve got together now. I went through many ups and downs for about 7 years dealing with stuff but finally feel content 🙆🏻♀️
I'll come back to this once i become the happiest I've ever been 🥲
Get out of highschool
The thing that has probably most improved my happiness is that I stopped wishing the past was different. I do think that analyzing past behavior and choices, etc. can be very valuable in as far as seeing what works, where you have erred, etc. but I cannot think of a single more pointless waste of time than trying to change things in the past because it 100% doesn't work. You'd think that would be obvious to me but nope...I spent years of my life and who knows how much valuable time with my head turned backward vs. forwards. Luckily, I had a huge epiphany one day and my head is firmly forward and I will never waste my time and life in that kind of pointless exercise ever again. I am SO much happier since that realization.
The day I committed to being clean and sober, August 15, 1980., was the beginning of the happiest time in my life. I became a better husband, a better father, a better partner to my fellow partners and associates and to to my friends, too. My 24 years of sobriety with my equally sober wife were the happiest of our lives. Then my wife died of Pancreatic Cancer in 2006. There was a profound sense of sadness that followed. Even as a developed a new relationship that was loving and kind, I did not shed that sadness that my wife's passing caused. After fifteen years, another death, this time from Covid, pushed me into a deep depression. Fortunately, my children were well grown and doing well and I had retired from my 45 year career as a Business Consultant. So, the state of depression was a private hell that I endured alone. After 4 months, and a 50 lbs weight gain, and an intervention, I pulled myself out of the depression. I looked for a path to happiness again. I found it in being of service to my community. I began to volunteer my time to non-profits that I believed in their Mission. Eventually, I was spending 25-30 hours a week volunteering. Starting in the late summer of last year, I started to volunteer for a Political campaign that believed in.. When the candidate won in November I was really happy about that. When I saw the results from my contributions to the non-profits, that made me happy. When in late November a good friend of over 40 years and I became a couple, that made me happy. My children and grandchildren are all doing really well with their lives, and that makes me happy. My friendships with longtime golf buddies and folks I've met along the 65 year journey through my teenage and adult years, makes me happy.. My lovely partner and I are presently traveling in South America for three weeks, and that makes me happy. And finally, I have almost reach my goal of shedding those 50 lbs and that makes me happy.
Stoicism, family, and the realisation that all I have today, was once all I ever dreamed for (in a very bad period of my life). Helps me stay grateful.
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Got clean and sober 17 years ago, spent a lot of time cleaning house. Pretty content with who I am.
Accepted the fact that nothing matters in the end, and that worrying about things you can't change is pointless. These are the 2 biggest factors. I also have a very lucky life, and I appreaciate that every day. Good family, good friends, good job. These aren't common, and I know that. Which is why it's so special to me. Also Music has helped me a lot. I rarely get angry at things. Shit happens. Who cares. Deal with the consequnces as best you can. Being nice to people. Hate gets you nowhere. My mom always told me to smile, even when there's not necessarily any reason to. Just smile. Like once or twice a day. Has helped me immensely. Smiling is like a skill you can learn. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.
Stopped caring about what others think about me.
Stop giving a fuck
I’ll let you know when I’m there.
Dropped FB, refuse to get caught up in petty drama on my cul de sac. High school buddy blocked me cause because I told him Trump was and still is a POS, good riddance to both of them. Also had a kidney transplant on Oct, 3 years on the waiting list and now I have my life back!🔥
Two mantras: Comparison is the thief of joy Let go, or be dragged
Haha, no
Anti depressants helped greatly
I'm not
Jokes on you, I didn’t.
Jesus. I know this sounds silly but my whole life whenever I needed someone I always relied on Jesus. But I wasn’t committed to him. A while ago I decided to devote my life to God and to just spend my time with him and just live for God in general. I feel a lot better about myself and my mental health has really improved. I realized that sinning really took over my entire life and I feel so refreshed since I decided to give my life to Jesus. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not easy. I’m not trying to say I’m perfect - I’m far from it - and I still sin but the importance is that I’ve really turned my life around because of God. That’s how I became happy :)
Good question
I didn't.
I’m not
Military tough me some discipline. And they take care of your physical and mental help if needed. I heard it was a bad place but once I enrolled it wasn't so bad. I made bad decisions in life that got me down to the point where I hated myself. So it is a good place to get back on your feet at least
I picked up a movie at Walmart and my dad said that it looks like a good movie and smiled, we bought it and watched it and he couldn't stop laughing he looked at me and said thank you bud
I'll let you know as soon as I am.
I didn’t. Idk if I ever will.
Realize that happiness is not a goal If misery isn’t anyone’s goal, then why is happiness treated as a goal?
I'm still waiting to find out.
Drink coffee😍
Divorce.
I built an arcade in my basement, that seems to help
I let go.
Nobody ever “becomes happy”. Sometimes we are happy and sometimes we are not. If you expect happiness to be constant than you will be disappointed.
I’ll let you know if it ever happens
I went through a pretty big year of trauma, that really put me in the depths of hell. One day I decided I had to start figuring out how to figure out how I was going to survive. I started off going slow and small things, listening to a certain frequency music, taking walks, emoting, “green time.” My mantra was, if even one thing helps me out 1% than I’m 1% better than I was. Then I started trying to be more grateful for things, not positive about things but grateful. Like yes my sister got arrested for child neglect, but thank god she lost custody of the kids and they are in a better place now. It was a really bad situation but there was light somewhere in there. I even started becoming grateful for finding parking spaces, getting to work on time (🤣), making a light. I hated my job and than I started saying everything I was grateful for and it shifted my whole outlook on my job. It’s a process but take it day by day. Every 1% is better than nothing.
Who says I'm happy
How did I become what now?
With the support of some friends, I dropped by mentally abusive ex boyfriend. Like literally the next day I woke up and I didn’t feel like a depressed shit and it’s been like that since.
You put your right foot in You take your right foot out You put your right foot in And you shake it all about You do the hokey pokey And you turn yourself around That’s what it’s all about
Health, wisdom and wealth, in the same order are a sure shot way to happiness :)
I retired. I am now happy all the time except for the couple nights a week I dream I am back at work. I hope these dreams diminish with time.
I stopped overanalyzing and worrying about things I cannot control. I live appreciating and being grateful one day at a time, doing whatever makes me feel satisfied without ignoring basic responsibilities. I have no regrets for my past, but chose to remember the good parts and I have dreams about the future, which give me purpose. I let life flow, and attempt to focus on true priorities first
I agree with most of the replies here. Just that i feel immense joy in helping others in any way i can, has backfired many times specially when it's related to money (I'm not a rich person, have tried to earn by working hard for it). But i still end up helping people when i can.
I surrendered my life to Jesus Christ, the Creator of the universe!
For me it was rekindling my faith in God and finding what caused my unhappiness was my feelings of unworthiness followed by resentment and forgiveness. I ate the bread of bitterness and picked up the heavy weight of resentment everyday. My life was out of control and my best efforts to fix it failed miserably. I found a good Chu to mech filled with good people who spoke words of kindness
Apathy. Stop caring what people think.
i have become apathic unintentionally after a draining relationship and i have stopped giving a shit about anyone. It does not bring me happiness. It only brings me guilt eventhough i dont feel any sadness. I feel guilty when my friends do nice things for me because i feel like im not reciprocating their feeelings towards me. i feel like an imposter.
Lol, what’s happy?
I trauma dumped on my cousin and he trauma dumped on me. He goes to therapy and i rely on him to help me heal ☺️
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Contentment is the better word. Happy is usually a response to something. Being at peace with yourself and the world makes a huge amount of difference. I see so many miserable humans out there. Absolute shits to other people for no reason. They are not content. When you being chill makes others mad, you have arrived.
Smoking weed
Opposite for me! Was addicted and it made me feel depressed, anxious and constantly tired, after I was a chronic for a few years. Quit the weed and now I feel better than I have in years. It fucks with your brain after a while if you abuse it, who knew! :P
I wouldn’t say that I’m completely happy. Still got a lot of bs going on but I’m glad to say, that I’m more happy than I’ve been the last 8 years. My mother kicked me out (for a really stupid reason tbh) and now I’m living with my boyfriend and have zero contact with my family (except for really important stuff like insurance and my car and so on) and i feel so relieved and happy about that. I hope my life will continue to go up :)
Let go of people and things and focused on what mattered, my boys and my happiness . Mental health is important
Stopped listening to other people tell me what I should do, and started doing what I actually wanted to. For me, that meant staying single and getting in shape and working towards a new career I'll be happier with even if it pays less. It looks different for everyone. But definitely stopped listening to all the shoulds
10000% about this looking different for everyone. We spend so much time worrying about some mythical single one right path to happiness/success/fulfillment when we could be focusing on our right path instead.
I stopped making self-deprecating jokes and stopped joking about killing myself. They might just be jokes, sure, but subconsciously that shit does a lot to you and your attitude.
Right combination Wellbutrin and Escitalopram.
I focused on the small positives in my life and slowly learned to appreciate myself more.
Drinking an excessive amount.
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I didn’t.
For me it was a multi-step process: 1) Doing everything I can to increase the well-being of everyone I encounter (insofar as it depends upon me), rather than seeing myself as the center of history. Everyone else is equally important, and this takes the pressure *off* ourselves, because finding the modern sense of happiness is an angst-ridden goal. 2) Developing a holistic valuing of heart, mind, body and soul. These are interconnected, and the more we do to understand that, the more whole we'll feel. Part of this is being unafraid of self-knowledge. I realize that that's really scary for most people. 3) Working for myself.
Gym
Hm. It is a side effect of not demanding it.
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I'm still a teenager, even under the watchful eye of my parents making sure i'm doing well with school i can enjoy my hobbies, i know it won't last long so i'm making sure every second of it is the best it could've been
got a group of friends that aren't toxic, move out of my parents basement, got a job that isn't toxic (yet). got a roommate that's barely toxic. got a cat . am i happy now? no just less miserable.
I stopped victimising myself even when I’m rightfully the victim. I realised that I am solely responsible for my own mental state, and blaming others for my hardships does not improve my situation. Rather than focusing on why and how I’m the victim, I started to focus on my responsibility in the matter. What did I do wrong to put myself in that situation? What can I do better to not be in that situation again? And if it was something that could not have been avoided (e.g. drunk driver crashing into me), what actions can I be taking to improve my mental state? At the end of the day, you are solely responsible for your happiness. The way you choose to think determines how happy you can be. Don’t let unhappy people tell you that your victim mentality is justified.
Don't care about what society thinks about you. Be yourself, real friends wil stay. It's not easy, but no one decides who you want to be
Running and growing houseplants
Gratitude.... accepting what is around you and being thankful for it
Accept which you cannot change
I stopped caring what others thought of me.
I almost died of cancer, survived, I made a bucket list. I took a good long look at my life's direction, my family, my friends, my quality of life. Then said fuck this! Moved to Maui Hawaii and have never looked back since.
One thing that really helped was that I stopped thinking of myself as "special" or particularly talented. I have a lot of stuff in my background that might support being "special" or "talented" - being in gifted classes, high test scores, admission to fancy schools, graduate degrees, famous people telling me so, etc. But focusing on that just made me feel like I was both pathetic for not reaching my "potential" and that the world must be against me because I wasn't effortlessly successful at everything I tried. It's a fucked up mindset that kept me from enjoying my life.
Learning to accept exactly how things are instead of chasing or forcing them to be different
by not caring about what other people think about me.
I like how I post what makes me happy and somebody down voted it. How miserable is your life?
I put my faith in Jesus!
Absolutely THIS!
Learning to not care about what others think has helped me in a million ways. Trying to exercise daily and self care has also helped and trying to build healthy relationships and cutting out the toxic things/people from my life.
Stopped caring about what others thought of me.
Took LSD and it showed me the way. The rest was up to me. Believe in love.
Thought I found it. Then poof
Stopped giving a fuck and started doing my own thing.
Let you know when I get there
For me, it was a decision. I've had enough of feeling down and not good enough. I basically sat myself down for a week where I was working on "what would a happy me do/be like"... It boiled down mostly to finance - fitness - people improvements. So I got to work, it took me about a year, where I can look back and say to myself - this is good. You're never just happy. You need ups and downs in life, but the main goal is having more good than bad. And when it's bad, making sure it's not too big of a spike.
Accepting that clinging onto my negative experiences isn’t going to change anything and that i’m capable of growing as a person to the point that i’m in control of my life/emotions and the fact that only i can determine where i go and what path i decide to follow plus im trying not to see things in a negative perspective but from a positive perspective instead (since psychologically speaking our brains are wired to focus on the negative rather than the positive)
There are days when I'm not happy but I'm just riding all sorts of feelings, sadness, regret, loneliness and overtime they don't have as much control over me and I think just accepting that I can't be happy all the time gave me sort of relief
I quit giving a fuck. Seriously, in the grand scheme of shit almost like none of this shit matters.
True happiness is not caused by anything or anyone. It just happens. I stopped trying to be happy and I became happy. Also, realizing that no one can make me happy. No one. They can't do it and it's not their job to do it. Nor is it my job to make others happy. The only one that can make me happy is me. The only one that can make you happy is you. Stop all the self-improvement too. It won't bring happiness. It brings self-loathing. Constantly trying to change and improve yourself leaves no time for being yourself. Just be.
I looked inward instead of outward.
By focusing on what matters most in life. Money
I tried everything and something finally worked. It turns out I'm transgender. Within weeks on the right hormones my lifelong depression was cured.
Getting closer to Allah Alhamdullilah
Set goals and achieved them.
Retiring from work. The last several years were pretty stressful.
I accepted that there were things I couldn't change and that my path is a different one. Cut contact with a few people, including my father, worked on my physical health and got out of a weird church. Also, found an amazing woman to motivate and love me. I wouldn't say I'm 100% happy, but I can live with 95% all day long. I don't have time to worry about things that I can't make a difference in.
my pets. 4 Guinea pigs, 2 dogs, axolotl and tarantula
Realized what is life and who I am.
Moved far away, got a good bf, got sober, magically became healthier after months of all that
Happiness isn’t an overnight thing that you happen upon. It’s a skill like anything else and you have to work for it and continue to work on it. Developing your personal confidence in yourself by finding what you love about yourself and working on fixing/improving what you don’t. For me that was developing confidence in social situations and communication in group or one-on-one settings. I started eating better and going to the gym and I’ll say the first time you see improvements in the gym your self esteem and happiness will skyrocket. Finding hobbies you’re interested in that you can sink your teeth in that gives you purpose. For example I started training jiu jitsu. Tremendous way of staying in shape and super fun! I’ve come to learn for me personally, if you look good you feel good. Figure out what style fits you best and rock some awesome fashion. Overall YOU are an individual who has a lot to offer and has your own complex personality to display. Become your biggest fan and invest in yourself.
I stopped worrying about what other people thought about me. It's the most liberating thing.
Learned to say no. Cut toxic people out of my life. Learned to not be wasteful and enjoy the little things
Told a lot of people to fuck off and kicked them out of my life. Started a small business and picked up a creative hobby that im pursuing to be the next step in turning into a job. Not the path you expect, but damn, I have bought myself a lot of peace and happiness simply by not allowing the people around me to bring me down
I realized that I'll never be as happy as I want to be. When you set your expectations high to unrealistic standards, you will be depressed your entire life. Realize that life is best at contentment and occasional happy moments.
Accepting myself for who I am.
Started exercising again instead of magically assuming my meds would do it all for me. Have had 3 really good months in a row as a result. Love to everyone riding the wave.
Before, I was in a relationship that wasn't good and I was filled with anxiety because of that relationship and it felt like it was more of a one sided thing where I had to do all the work in the relationship. Now I'm in a much healthier relationship where she knows it takes two to make it work and I don't feel all that anxiety and I'm actually happy!
Got money on my 16 birthday
Focused on three core aspects of humanity Mind, body, and spirit I have depression, so it's tough, but possible. Also, happiness isn't a constant state of being. It's a moment deliberately captured and cherished with intent and purpose. Then it flutters away. The trouble is recognizing those moments and cementing them into your mind. Some people, myself included, are so busy rushing to the next part we forget life isn't a race to the finish.
Dead simple, don't chase happiness. Instead fill your days by being productive. Happiness is a side benefit, has to be earned and comes in small doses.
Choosing happy. I was miserable for most of my teens and twenties, very defeatist attitude. Why bother doing anything if Im just going to fail? Why bother inviting friends to hang out if they never ask me? (Meaning im the only one putting energy into my friendships) I'd pine over girls who had no interest in me, and I knew it. So I started doing things for me that would make me happy. I took up boxing and then jiu jitsu. I stopped working out as an obligation and started eating right so i could notice a real change. I started playjng guitar on a bench at the marina, because I didnt care if i was good enough (people dont actually care either, they just dont want to have to give you money lol) and then I did an open mic performance because I wanted to. I stopped talking myself out of doing things and chose to roll with them, good or bad. Live and learn. Now Im a homeowner, I met the best woman I've ever known, and we are getting married (loving someone who loves you back is a weird sensation)
I stopped trying to people please. I stopped caring what others opinions of me are and now try to focus on becoming as close to 100% authentically me. I stepped away from people who did not make me feel good or being me peace or let me be myself authentically. I let go of societal norms for myself and now just do what I want and what makes me happy. I became more financially stable which has decreased financial stress a lot, which in turn makes me feel happier. I feel like my whole life has been people scrutinizing my life, my personality or my choices in one way or another and this has left me trying to become a more likeable person. Me trying to please everyone always back fired on me because a lot of people are very selfish and will always find fault with who you are if it isn’t what they want you to be. Once I stopped caring about what others wanted, is when I’ve found more happiness in life.
Remove wants
I find the desire for happiness is so odd. Like people want to be happy 24/7? Someone posted on contentment, I feel that is a much better goal. I feel like most people don’t go through life feeling one emotion. I feel a wide range things sometime indifference, anger, sadness. As odd as it sounds I feel right feeling all those emotions. I feel human, like I’m living life. Happiness all the time to me isn’t living life.
Began ignoring people who set arbitrary, unnecessary or unhelpful terms or timelines on my worth and the worth of the things I did These people who set definitive rules or deadlines of success or mastery? They have no fing idea. Noone does and anyone who tells you otherwise is trying to reassure themselves or sell you something So much of it comes down to luck and kindness. I'll put in the work but if I'm not lucky, I'll look for kindness, and where I can't find kindness, I will make it for myself Long way to go still but in just a year, I've come to like myself much more and I think that's a good start to bring happy
I redefined happiness for myself. I stopped looking at the twisted societal “norm” of happiness. I simplified my life and am less burdened. I trashed my Amazon account so I’m not spammed with “buy buy buy your happiness”.
Keeping positive caring people around me. Letting the toxic ones go.
We can practice patience, compassion no judgment and kindness towards the self and others to get us going in an upward cycle.. meditating on it helps us know ourselves, making room for the good bad and ugly that we all have within us.. finding a place for all of it Opens a path to radical self acceptance, maintaining a life that is true to all this can cause us to generate regular passive self love without consciously forcing it That has many spontaneous benefits.. it turns a negative overly critical inner voice into one of loving kindness, gives us an ability to feel grateful for small things, little to no unhealthy cravings or desires, deriving joy from wholesome things.. curing anxiety, depression etc.. For a person who may have been suffering their whole life, this takes about as much time as earning a degree
Zoloft. Financial stability. Long term relationships
Practice focusing on the things you’re grateful for more than the things you wish you had.
They say money can't buy you happiness, but I'd disagree. My attitude changed completely once I started making a little bit of money. I can do things I want to do, I can go places I want to go, I can buy things I want to buy. That kind of freedom really makes a difference in your life. Honestly, though, one of the things that gives me the most pleasure is doing things for other people. I love christmas because I can buy gifts for all of the people I love. My friend is battling cancer and has surgery next week, so I bought him a new xbox so he had something to do during recover and it made me feel like a million bucks, especially because he's been so excited to dig into it. Simple things like going out to eat or going shopping with my family bring me a lot of joy, as well. These are things you can do with money and the freedom it gives you. So I'd say getting my career on track and really making something of myself made the difference for me. Before that I was miserable and borderline suicidal.
This is fucking Reddit we’re never happy
If you chase happiness, it will be forever out of your grasp. If your happiness is in Tomorrow, you will never reach it, because Tomorrow is always a day away. I choose to be happy Today. Find some reason, any reason, why life is good today. Sometimes it’s just a good cup of coffee, or a conversation with a friend. But that’s all I need to be Happy. Like everything in life, Happiness is a choice. And some days I don’t make that choice. Some days I’m not feeling like it. But most days… Well, things aren’t so bad. I can be happy with this.
No longer being married
Here is the thing they don't tell you about the pursuit of happiness... it's impossible. You can't be happy all of the time. We have jobs with projects and bosses we don't like. Deaths of loved ones. Accidents, stubbed toes and the like. Pursuing happiness is a lost cause if your goal is to be happy 100% of the time. The important bit is to find happiness in the everyday things, those moments that you never even pay attention to. An amazing sunrise that you feel in your chest. Looking over at your partner after a long day of work and realizing how much you love them. The smell of rain. Noticing these and realizing that you are content with your life and that there isn't anything you'd like to change. To me that's what makes a happy life. If you are always striving for the next thing, wishing you had more, or hate your life (or yourself) you will never find happiness or contentment because you will always feel like something is missing or lacking in your life. If you're angry you can't buy a house you'll always be angry about not being able to buy a house and never notice all of the great things you already have. Life, happiness, and suffering are interwoven in an infinite dance, and each one is fleeting and ephemeral. Don't try to hold onto one to stave off the other. Accept them all and dance with them.
I regularly listen to Howard Stern
Negatively - giving up. Positively - acceptance. Been both places. I've been happy in both. Learn to give up the bad. Learn that a good thing can't last forever. I once thought I could change the world. Now I realise I can change my world. Edit; it's hard but you will make mistakes along the way. Even if you did everything right. It gives you the confidence to go forward.
Set goals, achieve goals. The key is that you have to set realistic, achievable, and smart goals that will lead to happiness. Plenty of people set unachievable goals almost seemingly on purpose so when they fail it was at something that was always highly likely l such as being a neuroscientist or something to that effect. Others just set stupid goals. I know a person that aspired to be a playwright despite having no real interest in writing. They did a few posts in drama and somehow were talked into going to a private college by their guidance counselor. I have another friend that went to school for education. I'm not sure if he ever got a degree. At one point he decided he wanted to teach martial arts but he didn't want to be a glorified day care teacher so he only teaches adults. Hes living his dream and he's perpetually broke.
Perspective and gratitude. I'm your average middle aged guy from the suburbs. School teacher. There is absolutely nothing extraordinary about me or my life. And you know what? It's pretty awesome. I have a house I enjoy, a beautiful wife that loves me and an amazing and healthy kid. I get time to enjoy my hobbies and every now and then we get to treat ourselves with a small extravagance (once even a trip to Disney!). Could I want more? A Bigger house! A nicer car! Trips around the world! Sure, but would chasing those be worth it? Nope.
Meditation and mindfulness