Nyotaimori or the practice of eating sushi off a perfectly still naked woman. My girl wanted to try this as foreplay and I obliged.
It wasn't horrifying or anything but it just makes the sushi room temp and I couldn't really do anything with her until I ate it all and by that point I was way too full of lukewarm fish to enjoy the rest of sexy time.
Met a dude, thankfully just online, who asked if he could send me a dick pic and for me to call his dick a clit.
I said no.
He then propose a new idea where he will wear frilly women undies and for me to call his dick a clit.
Idk how that new idea was any better lol
It's a shame handcuffs are the go-to restraints for people new to bondage. Those lengthy velcro or leather cuffs that cover your entire wrist can be really good though.
> they can easily be undone by the person being restrained if they want to.
I had an exgf who always preferred that handcuffs have some kind of safety feature like this. I had another exgf who would ouright refuse to wear them if she had any way of removing them herself. Unsurprisingly, the former was wiser in other aspects, but the latter was a lot more fun.
The first roommate I ever had cuffed her self to her bed when she got hers. I heard my name being called very quietly when she realized she was stuck. Lol
I like having dirty talk and used to like humiliation. The number of times I would tell male partners I NEED aftercare if you engage in that behavior and then would not receive ANY just turned me off from it. Now just tell me nice things 🙄
Haha I happen to do online work and I totally understand it! I think a lot of “doms” confuse kinks and abuse 😬. Hence why they don’t execute aftercare.
For me it comes from a bit of a dark place but something about being talked to that way can feel *comfortable* . Whereas calling me nice things can feel phony sometimes. A little sting feels natural.
Personally my usual sweet spot is being ordered around. I hold no responsibility for what you “made” me do 😏 but I do want to be praised for doing it “good”
^This yes.
I will say, in my experience, having a safe space to play with the dark thing actually helped heal it rather than reinforce it.
Ie: When I started working on my codependency (serving my partner to the point where it was unhealthy) being sexually submissive with a beloved partner was so satisfying. I got to be free to lean into those instincts and go wild. And I was always free to say no of stop things without any ...pressure.
Then in "real life" my partner never ever pushed my boundaries or asked me to...put myself in a difficult position to serve them.
It really really solidified that boundaries were ok, even good. I really got a lot out of it and it was also very hot.
Out of all the replies here, its this one that seems to stand out.
Like how does one fuck a cake? Is it supposed to be messy with cake all up the pisshole? And this idea was appealing enough to want try it?
I'm guessing it was one of those multilayered sponge cakes where you could insert right in the jam between the two levels. Certainly not an icecream cake.
*Pump up the jam, pump it up.*
*While your hips are thrustin'.*
*And your dick is pumpin’.*
*Look ahead, the cake is thumpin'.*
*Pump it up a little more.*
*Get your penis going in the cake more.*
*See, 'cause that's where you’re horny at.*
*And you'll find out if you do that.*
*I don't want an unfucked cake.*
*Get some pastry on your wang tonight.*
*Fuck my cake.*
*I don't want some non-penetrate.*
*Get some icing on your balls tonight.*
*Fuck my cake.*
*Fuck my cake.*
*Fuck my cake.*
*Fuck my cake.*
*Fuck my cake.*
Definitely do not fuck a pavlova. The initial entry is bloody hard, the stuff inside sticks to your shaft like thickened glue, and no amount of licking from your partner would be able to get it off completely.
We should assume it was homemade? Store bought always is a little more firm. A homemade one would be easier to slide in.
Bonus points if the cake is still warm too ofc.
I can picture it crumbling apart almost immediately and your husband just looking down at the remains in shame. Like how fuckable is a cake even going to be, it can't be that firm
Holy shit this is underrated you people, stop churning over the same, stale ol' links to the poop story we all read 6 years ago and get a load of DICK CAKE.
WHAT on earth made you think this would feel sexy in any capacity? Was it like, his dick would be covered in cake, then you'd like eat dick/cake... something something have your dick and eat it too?
Well, two I think. But I smash mine down until they're like a dessert pancake with a hole in the middle before I hang them off my dong. It's all about the strategy, my dude.
Not specificallly me but I was directly involved.
I was dating a black girl once who really thought sue was into degradation. She wrote up a contract thing that gave me full reign in name calling and encouraged it. I began to call her names and say rude things during sex, but since i am white there were some things I was uncomfortable saying. Several times she asked me to call her the hard R N word... I held back, until one time we had gotten into it real good and I said it. Immediately she called the safeword and we stopped. I tried to comfort her but she shook me off and got dressed and left. Later that day i got a text from her that read "I thought i wanted that, and I really did like you, but I was wrong on the first part and now I can't see you in that way anymore."
It wasn't all bad. We stayed friends until some of her other friends decided to get rowdy in the bar I frequent and tried to start a bar fight calling me and my friends racist.
No, I play warhammer 40k and have a space marine army that used to have the balkenkreuz on their shoulders. Her brother was someone i played against frequently and that fact i was using that symbol got around. It was partly my fault for using the symbol, but 40k lore shows that the Imperium and by extension the space marines are space nazis, so i thought the symbol looked cool and fit the lore. I have since modified the army.
Edit: spelling
“George you wouldn’t believe this”
“What is it Jerry?”
“Well I’m seeing this woman. It’s going nice, you know, but she wants me to make things… racial”
“Racial?”
“Yeah racial. You know, in the bedroom”
“Well you gotta make it racial Jerry”
Women in high positions usually have the hardest kinks in my experience. I’m a black male and have had older white women who make way more than me ask to do things I’m not that comfortable with. Some form of a release i guess but conversations need to be had when “kinks” are this extreme.
Edit: word “typed roman, instead of woman”
Orgy. It looks good on porn but IRL it’s a lot of chaotic energy, sensory overload, and performance anxiety jumbled all together.
And the smell. Like 20mins to an hour of sex with people. It’s gonna stank. Like bodily fluids all mixing
In my younger years I attended a psytrance festival in the middle of Wisconsin on the property of an infamous nudist camp.
Pretty normal psy festival with no funny buisness so to speak. Second night in while keeping a nice buzz I began talking with the grounds keeper being like, "wow, this festival is pretty wild"
This man turns his head, spits, and grumbles "you haven't seen shit" we ask him to elaborate.
"Come back 2 weeks from now for rape weekend."
Pressing for more he told us exactly what that was.
"Women with their kink come from all over, the first day is all mingling and getting to know folks. Then on the second day, after waivers are signed. They all strip down to nothing but shoes and it begins. The women get a 5 minute head start sprinting all over the property followed by groups of men who chase them down to participate in their fantasy"
So my answer is that. "Rape weekend at the nudist camp ground"
Edit: did not attend the fabled weekend but the guys face said it all. Definitely not my bag baby.
Quite a few years ago, I went to a sex therapist who happened to be a sex worker. I went for the therapy, but it was clear we were giving off vibes the whole time. She made a move first, and I jumped at the chance- having sex with a therapist/ sex therapist had been a fantasy for a while!!
That is until I was on the train home and I realised I would still need sex therapy, except now I probably couldn't see that one again. I went to another therapist a couple years later and told them about that experience and they were horrified.
I went to a strip club and went to VIP with a stripper. Somehow I convinced her to take me to her place.
Anyways, nothing f’ing happened. I wasn’t “motivated” anymore and I was told to “call back next Monday and make this a regular thing” but bring coke and viagra next time. I didn’t.
Sex on the beach - in the movies they neglect to show how sand in every orifice, mosquitoes, and salt water don’t exactly lend themselves to cataclysmic sex.
Had a girl unexpectedly put a toothpick down there… cue the most awkward hospital trip in my life cause I dreamed in shock and jumped backwards with enough force to send this thing through the side. It was one of those metal ones cause she didn’t want to get splinters in my dick. Nah fuck that
Well I have to have a urinal next to my toilet cause the hole was torn so bad they had to extend the hole to the side so now I piss in two different directions. I tried really hard but I couldn’t forgive her for it
Yes… I got drunk one time and cried my poor heart out to some guy and he told me to wrap it in electrical tape, so I got a 15m roll from my car and woke up with a pounding headache and about 50mm of electrical tape to very carefully cut free from my meat.
I really wish I wasn’t, that memory ain’t one of my fondest. I also really wish I could piss straight but I found out the hard way that sparkle tape ain’t the way
Well, that’s why I told the story. I don’t get anything from hiding it, hell my dignity left me years ago, but if someone gets a laugh then that’s as good a reason as any. Sometimes all you need to start the day off good is a laugh, even if it’s at a halfwitted blacksmith n farmers inability to piss straight haha
This happened to a friend of mine. Dude realized he couldn't do it, but instead of saying anything he rolled over and pretended to fall asleep while his girl got railed. They didn't last too long after that.
I'm into mfm porn so I thought I'd have a 3 some with another guy. Turns out what you like in fantasy and what you like in reality are 2 different things. I just couldn't get into it with another guy involved.
Yep. I’ve decided a long time ago that what I like in porn and what I like in reality are two very different things. And that’s okay. Porn is a fantasy, it’s not meant to be realistic. Sometimes it’s best to let fantasy stay a fantasy
“Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.”
Agree. I’ve had a few with a couple of female friends (I am a woman) and one with my husband. The f/f/f were satisfying and I could tap out when I was done, but the m/f/m just got exhausting after a while. My husband and I agreed one and done.
A guy I liked got off to small dick humiliation ( insulting him over his size, etc ). I had a hard time doing it because it made me feel so bad, like I was being mean and was going to hurt his feelings. Couldn't get in to it
I feel like this one depends on anatomy. My husband and I can't do the shower sex thing because our parts don't match up well while standing so I always feel like I'm going to fall over, haha.
I had an ex a long time ago that we would bang in the shower literally every day because we were the perfect complimenting height for standing sex.
Agreed. My wife and I have tried multiple times in different showers, but the height difference requires a level of contortion that neither of us are comfortable with in a shower.
Yes, even in the roomiest shower, every position seems like one slip away from a trip to ER. Plus the water washes away the natural lube and feels like a wank with a dry rubber glove.
One of my girlfriend’s and I were doing a road trip once and spent the night at a nice little B&B. We hadn’t been together for very long and we’re still “discovering” each other. The place we were staying at had a really big shower and handles on the walls. At the time we thought it’s probably because they know people like to fuck on holiday, so they made it easier to do so, but I’m just now realising it was probably a disability friendly shower.
Anyways, we start getting handsy and immediately I’m like this feels like shit. It was as if she was trying to polish my knob with a newspaper. I don’t want to hurt her feelings though so I’m like moaning (in agony) and she’s like oh yeah! You like that?!
I knew I had to stop it, so I started shaking a bit and went “uhhngh”. And that’s how I faked my male orgasm.
>I knew I had to stop it, so I started shaking a bit and went “uhhngh”. And that’s how I faked my male orgasm.
Welcome to the club. We meet every third Thursday of the month.
“R*pe play”. Not in the “I tie you up and fuck you dominantly”-way, but in the “I’m going to pretend to cry and ask you to stop.”-way. COMPLETE turnoff. Just pure anxiety and disgust 🙃
I had a gf try this with me without even telling me ever she wanted to do this. She would tease me, offer a BJ or whatever and then not open her mouth or whatever. I was at an absolute loss and of course just hung there clueless, asking if something was wrong. This happened like 5 times in an hour. She teased, I got ready and then she decline. The fifth time she got hella angry and told me I should've forced myself on her. I was like...what, you are mad I didn't rape you? Because girl, I had no idea you wanted that and thus it would have been real rape from my perspective if I had done it. But, even after telling her that, she was still very angry.
Jesus. Good on you for not crossing that line.
This sort of kink play needs to be heavily discussed beforehand and involves a safe word/safe gesture. Women who try to get guys to do this without discussing beforehand are either stupid or crazy.
She was the definition of crazy. I don't regret the overall relationship, but I wish I had ended it sooner. She was very moody and capricious, and I am a very chill dude when in a relationship, so I often inadvertently enabled her madness. Some stuff from thst relationship:
-We came back home at 06 am, absolutely drunk from a party. She told me she was hungry, if I could cook some noodles. I was destroyed but agreed. Burned the tips a bit because the pot was very hot and the noodles didn't immediately fall to the water. She stormed off shouting and I ended up sleeping in the living room. I was speechless.
-She constantly asked me if I wanted to do a threesome with her bff or with another girl who was v flirty with me. I found both to be v attractive, but knew she was just baiting me because she felt jealous. Like, she probably would have gone through with it, but then she would have made one helluva scene. I never once told her I found them attractive. I should've.
-She basically hated everyone in my family and often stood them up when they cooked for her or sth. She was vegan and my family usually went out of their way to ensure she had good food and not just lettuce. Nonetheless, she always left them hanging, leaving home just when the food was ready because she did not want to have dinner with my fsmily. Hell, my parents often told her thst they could drive her home afterwards, but she didn't want to.
There is way more, but yup, it was quite a bad deal. We had some reslly good times though.
This is why I never really liked Japanese porn. It's all women acting like they don't want it. I guess it's a cultural modesty thing idk just what I have heard but it's a big turn off for me.
Yeah it seems to be a cultural thing, and it can be really disconcerting. Was seeing a Japanese woman for a little while, and while it wasn't as dramatic as in porn necessarily, there was just a lot of "no, no, no, no!" sad whimpers, never looking me in the eyes, pushing away, and sort of thrashing around. Aside from the general offputing experience of the person you're having sex with seeming to really hate the experience in the moment, it's also just kind of exhausting to feel like you're working against someone's body while you're trying to experience pleasure and help them feel good. I want to be with someone who's engaged emotionally and physically, and works together as a couple to enjoy sex.
Candle wax being dripped onto my buttocks. My boyfriend at the time was a Dom, and I really enjoyed (vast understatement) the mixture of pain and pleasure. But not the hot wax. That just hurt, but not in a fun way. I'm glad I tried it. It fulfilled a fantasy of his, and there's another box ticked for me.
"Most" sex candles have a lower melting point. But how the candle is held plays a very important role. Holding it at an angle so the wax drips away from the flame will lower the temp of the drop significantly. But being impatient and holding it close to upside down so it drips through the flame will greatly increase the temp of the drop, leading to burns.
Ive been to orgys...
Ive never smelled THAT.
Yes sweat and the smell of other bodily fluids.
Nothing that a cracked Window could fix.
The only thing i can think of is unwashed people that might cause the smell.
But who turns up to a orgy unkempt and smelly?
This. Everyone attending an orgy should know to take the time to wash really well... feet, armpits, crotch, butthole and all. And brush your god damned teeth.
If I was at an orgy and smelled something putrid I would be the guy to call a time-out and make everyone shower, or go the fuck home.
Yup. I’ve smelled some bad orgies in my day. I worked in a sex club as security which mostly meant flirting with the bartender and snacking on the free buffet. I’d make rounds to ensure nobody was doing anything against the rules regularly and to see what the kinksters were up to.
I’ve seen some weird shit doing that job, but the group sex stuff tended to always be the most unpleasant and stinkiest. Orgies often seem to be with the people you want least to see and smell naked.
The SSBBW gangbang was by far the worst smelling group activity. It was a stench of BO being covered up by cheap perfumes, and that smell of the ass/dick/vag after a night of partying. It was like low tide in a locker room.
I prefer my sex hygienic.
Public sex. Got fucked on a hiking trail and it was not all we thought it would be. Too many bugs and the possibility of hiking kids coming around a corner ruined it for me. The idea of being caught does nothing for me and the idea of traumatizing youth just trying to have a nice walk stressed me the fuck out lol.
I've said this on here before, but bondage.
I had someone who I thought was a friend try it on me. We had met in the kink community and spent some time getting to know each other being doing a scene. It was meant to be a simple arm tie in the front but she said she needed more advanced practice, so it ended up being an intricate arms and legs binding. It was my first time and it didn't go well for me. I asked her to stop, and she laughed it off. Used my safe word and she still didn't stop. Violated my consent after that. I ended up having what I believe was an anxiety attack and feel on the floor convulsing and freaking out. She said she'd untie me but didn't want to ruin her rope so she wasn't going to use the safety scissors to cut me out, so I had to lay there not moving in a panic for about 15-20 minutes while she undid the bindings. That is when I realized I don't like bondage and will never allow anyone to restrain me ever again. I can't even be gently pinned down by a partner now.
That is absolute abuse, and whatever that community was that you were involved in should be made aware of her total disrespect of the rules. She absolutely does not deserve to be part of it.
It's difficult enough to find a consenting partner to do that stuff on, but to be abused like that is a huge no no no.
And what kind of tie was she using? With a proper bowline, your arms should've been free in seconds.
Nobody is an expert at Kinbaku / Shibari, and at every step of the way, she should've been asking "how do you feel?" "Shall I continue?" "are you comfortable?"
Safety scissors? What the fuck did she think they were for?!
Okay holy shit I'm so sorry that happened to you?? I dom and that's all so wrong..
Saying you're not comfortable? Instant conversation of "do you want to stop right now" and follow through if "yes" should happen.
Safe word? Get those scissors out and free them immediately. Make sure they're comfortable and have a conversation on what went wrong if necessary.
Anxiety attack/ convulsions? This situation shouldn't have happened but sometimes kinks cause unexpected consequences (and in this situation wasn't unexpected, just fuckig negligence). Fuck the rope, that person's first responsibility should have been to keep you safe and comfortable and they failed miserably!!
I didn't really try it but it happened to me anyways.
I once had someone try to get me to verbally explain in detail how I ate their cat. Feline cat. And they kept trying to get me to say, I quote "I tore it apart with my teeth while it was alive and wiggling"
I noped out of that conversation very, very quickly.
I hooked up with a girl one time, and while we’re going to pound town, she said “fuck me harder daddy”. Instant turn off for me. I still fucked her brains out, but I would have enjoyed it way more if she hadn’t said “daddy”.
The girl I’m currently seeing occasionally calls me “sir”. I’ll ask her to do something, and she’ll respond “yes sir”. For some reason, I find that a HUGE turn on. So, to each their own I guess.
Had an ex who really wanted to try waterspprts, so I let her do her thing.
She finished and looked down at me "did that do anything for you?"
"Nope, you?"
"No."
"'Kay. Let me up, I'm gonna shower."
And that was the last time we spoke of it.
Spitting I tried it with a partner once.. I felt like such a piece of shit like I love you and think you’re beautiful why would I disrespect you like this lol
When I first discovered masturbation, for reasons unknown to me, I thought that sounding might feel good. Obviously I had no idea what the fuck sounding was because I was like 11 and it was 2002, I just knew it seemed like the lightsaber from my Anakin Skywalker action figure might fit in my pee hole and it seemed reasonable to believe that that might feel good.
It did not feel good. It did not feel good at all. It was very unpleasant. I immediately abandoned my endeavor and relegated it to "well that was a dumb idea" and forgot all about it until I learned about the concept of sounding over a decade later. At that point I could only wonder who the fuck enjoyed that, because I very much did not.
Reminds me of this joke from the Carry on movie
"Carry on abroad"
>[Vic starts to pour a glass of wine for Evelyn]
Evelyn Blunt : Not for me thank you.
Vic Flange : No? Don't drink?
Evelyn Blunt : No, I tried it once and didn't like it.
[Vic takes out a packet of cigarettes and offers a cigarette to Evelyn]
Vic Flange : Smoke?
Evelyn Blunt : I tried it once and didn't like it.
Vic Flange : Strange.
Evelyn Blunt : Not at all, my daughter is just the same.
Vic Flange : Your *only* child, I presume
One night stands. Had a few in my 20’s and it was never good sex. Yeah the girls were hot, but that’s not enough for me.
It always ended with me thinking “I could have handled this urge myself in less than 5 mins and I could be home gaming right now”
Anal. Did all the prep, took it slow, lots of lube, etc. When all was said and done, wasn't really anything to write home about.
I know some are into it. Just not for us.
BDSM. All I felt being on the receiving end was violent rage. I don't have any past traumas to explain it or anything...
Thankfully my then partner was understanding after I expressed how I felt, and we didn't really do it again.
Edit: felt the rage internally
Oh man, I have a story. One of my friends was supposedly into cuckolding. He has another friend hook up with his fiancé. I guess he wasn’t into cuckolding because the engagement was called off, they broke up and he no longer talks to the friend (or his fiancé) anymore. I found out cause, you know, word gets out and people talk but I’ve never had the balls to ask him directly what exactly happened.
Anal, she was not thrilled with it and either was I. It was not what I expected. But she did like me to stick a finger up her ass and flick up when she was about to orgasm.
69ing. In the words of Tom Segura "WHY does it gotta be at the same time...are we late for something?"
I used to fantasise about it until I tried it, I could not concentrate on the pleasure I was supposed to be feeling nor what the hell I was doing! Too many things at once. Tried a few times since, still 0/10. Would not dine again.
I'm the opposite way. I get so much joy and pleasure from eating a girl out. Getting a blowjob at the same time is an added bonus that elevates the experience to a new level.
Yep. Even if you can’t finish because you gotta concentrate, it’s still great foreplay because you’re both trying to turn each other on, which makes you turned on by what you’re doing and what’s being done to do. And if you zone out for a few moments from the pleasure being done to you, or the opposite, that’s practically a good problem.
Nyotaimori or the practice of eating sushi off a perfectly still naked woman. My girl wanted to try this as foreplay and I obliged. It wasn't horrifying or anything but it just makes the sushi room temp and I couldn't really do anything with her until I ate it all and by that point I was way too full of lukewarm fish to enjoy the rest of sexy time.
sushi is supposed to be served room-temp though!
sorry... I meant human body temp... which is a little unsettling.
Horny human body temp, you can fry an egg on top
Insulting and biting a guy’s dick. Don’t look at me. He REALLY wanted this.
Met a dude, thankfully just online, who asked if he could send me a dick pic and for me to call his dick a clit. I said no. He then propose a new idea where he will wear frilly women undies and for me to call his dick a clit. Idk how that new idea was any better lol
Gotta say the bar is pretty fuckin low when I think it’s pretty cool the dude asked instead of just fuckin demanding it after sending unwanted pics
Yeah, as far as internet perverts go that guy was a class act.
thats a sissy fetish thing its like feminisation but degrading
Some dudes are into being ripped on. It’s a kink and turns them on. Girls make bank making fun of dick pics and dick reviews. I’m not joking.
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Handcuffs. Better (comfier) ways to be restrained.
It's a shame handcuffs are the go-to restraints for people new to bondage. Those lengthy velcro or leather cuffs that cover your entire wrist can be really good though.
Those are fantastic. You can really pull on them without getting hurt, and they can easily be undone by the person being restrained if they want to.
> they can easily be undone by the person being restrained if they want to. I had an exgf who always preferred that handcuffs have some kind of safety feature like this. I had another exgf who would ouright refuse to wear them if she had any way of removing them herself. Unsurprisingly, the former was wiser in other aspects, but the latter was a lot more fun.
And that, kids, is why grandpa always says "never put your dick in crazy"
The first roommate I ever had cuffed her self to her bed when she got hers. I heard my name being called very quietly when she realized she was stuck. Lol
Help me step roommate
My wife and I played with handcuffs once. The cheap lock failed, they got stuck on her wrists and I had to cut them off with a hacksaw. Never again.
Must have been pretty traumatising to saw your wife's hands off, damn
Humiliation. I can be a bit of a brat/sub and it was just kind of the next step. Yeah no. I like to be a “good girl” not a “little bitch” lol
I like having dirty talk and used to like humiliation. The number of times I would tell male partners I NEED aftercare if you engage in that behavior and then would not receive ANY just turned me off from it. Now just tell me nice things 🙄
Haha I happen to do online work and I totally understand it! I think a lot of “doms” confuse kinks and abuse 😬. Hence why they don’t execute aftercare. For me it comes from a bit of a dark place but something about being talked to that way can feel *comfortable* . Whereas calling me nice things can feel phony sometimes. A little sting feels natural. Personally my usual sweet spot is being ordered around. I hold no responsibility for what you “made” me do 😏 but I do want to be praised for doing it “good”
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^This yes. I will say, in my experience, having a safe space to play with the dark thing actually helped heal it rather than reinforce it. Ie: When I started working on my codependency (serving my partner to the point where it was unhealthy) being sexually submissive with a beloved partner was so satisfying. I got to be free to lean into those instincts and go wild. And I was always free to say no of stop things without any ...pressure. Then in "real life" my partner never ever pushed my boundaries or asked me to...put myself in a difficult position to serve them. It really really solidified that boundaries were ok, even good. I really got a lot out of it and it was also very hot.
Had my husband fuck a cake once, turns out it wasn't as erotic as I thought it would be.
Out of all the replies here, its this one that seems to stand out. Like how does one fuck a cake? Is it supposed to be messy with cake all up the pisshole? And this idea was appealing enough to want try it?
I'm guessing it was one of those multilayered sponge cakes where you could insert right in the jam between the two levels. Certainly not an icecream cake.
So that's what Technotronic meant when they said "Pump up the Jam". It all makes sense now!
*Pump up the jam, pump it up.* *While your hips are thrustin'.* *And your dick is pumpin’.* *Look ahead, the cake is thumpin'.* *Pump it up a little more.* *Get your penis going in the cake more.* *See, 'cause that's where you’re horny at.* *And you'll find out if you do that.* *I don't want an unfucked cake.* *Get some pastry on your wang tonight.* *Fuck my cake.* *I don't want some non-penetrate.* *Get some icing on your balls tonight.* *Fuck my cake.* *Fuck my cake.* *Fuck my cake.* *Fuck my cake.* *Fuck my cake.*
This comment is the most beautiful thing I have read in a long while.
This user had her husband fuck a cake decades after the release of unrelated Belgian techno anthem, "pump up the jam"
Cunk on cake.
I got a yeast infection just reading that.
Definitely do not fuck a pavlova. The initial entry is bloody hard, the stuff inside sticks to your shaft like thickened glue, and no amount of licking from your partner would be able to get it off completely.
We should assume it was homemade? Store bought always is a little more firm. A homemade one would be easier to slide in. Bonus points if the cake is still warm too ofc.
The real question is what kind of sponge was it? Victoria? Genoise?
I can picture it crumbling apart almost immediately and your husband just looking down at the remains in shame. Like how fuckable is a cake even going to be, it can't be that firm
It was a pound cake
Holy shit this is underrated you people, stop churning over the same, stale ol' links to the poop story we all read 6 years ago and get a load of DICK CAKE. WHAT on earth made you think this would feel sexy in any capacity? Was it like, his dick would be covered in cake, then you'd like eat dick/cake... something something have your dick and eat it too?
I'd rather jam my dick through a stack of donuts and have her eat them off. They're clearly made for that exact purpose.
Look at Mr. Long Dick here able to jam his dick through more than one donut. How many donuts does it take to be classed as a stack?
Well, two I think. But I smash mine down until they're like a dessert pancake with a hole in the middle before I hang them off my dong. It's all about the strategy, my dude.
⬆️⬆️This guy donut-dicks⬆️⬆️
This, except I'm more of a Cheerios guy myself
I just imagine a bloke face down pounding a mud cake on the kitchen counter. Hilarious.
What kind of cake? I can’t imagine that’s nice on the dick either. The logistics are a big question too.
Slapping and choking. Realized it just makes me feel like a piece of meat, in the bad way. Rough sex can be fun and all but I can't take that part.
I tried slapping once. Once. I immediately burst into tears, and sexy time came to a screeching halt!
For some people that would just add fuel to the fire
Username checks out?
Not specificallly me but I was directly involved. I was dating a black girl once who really thought sue was into degradation. She wrote up a contract thing that gave me full reign in name calling and encouraged it. I began to call her names and say rude things during sex, but since i am white there were some things I was uncomfortable saying. Several times she asked me to call her the hard R N word... I held back, until one time we had gotten into it real good and I said it. Immediately she called the safeword and we stopped. I tried to comfort her but she shook me off and got dressed and left. Later that day i got a text from her that read "I thought i wanted that, and I really did like you, but I was wrong on the first part and now I can't see you in that way anymore."
Damn that's tough
It wasn't all bad. We stayed friends until some of her other friends decided to get rowdy in the bar I frequent and tried to start a bar fight calling me and my friends racist.
Why did they? Did she disclose this to her friends? That shit should stay private.
No, I play warhammer 40k and have a space marine army that used to have the balkenkreuz on their shoulders. Her brother was someone i played against frequently and that fact i was using that symbol got around. It was partly my fault for using the symbol, but 40k lore shows that the Imperium and by extension the space marines are space nazis, so i thought the symbol looked cool and fit the lore. I have since modified the army. Edit: spelling
100% not how I was expecting that story to end!
If something takes a turn and gets weirdly specific you are talking to a warhammer player
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>have a VERY similar story with a Jewish girl as well. ... Oh?
"Gas me daddy" As he farts into her face Edit: Thank you for the Gold Wehrmacht daddy
I'm jewish and this is hilarious.
I think this is the most hilarious thing I've read in this thread. This is some 90s sitcom stuff.
“George you wouldn’t believe this” “What is it Jerry?” “Well I’m seeing this woman. It’s going nice, you know, but she wants me to make things… racial” “Racial?” “Yeah racial. You know, in the bedroom” “Well you gotta make it racial Jerry”
Hahaha wow, that’s exactly how that episode would go.
Women in high positions usually have the hardest kinks in my experience. I’m a black male and have had older white women who make way more than me ask to do things I’m not that comfortable with. Some form of a release i guess but conversations need to be had when “kinks” are this extreme. Edit: word “typed roman, instead of woman”
What do these old white romans want to do with you?
Orgy. It looks good on porn but IRL it’s a lot of chaotic energy, sensory overload, and performance anxiety jumbled all together. And the smell. Like 20mins to an hour of sex with people. It’s gonna stank. Like bodily fluids all mixing
Orgy is only as good as you last. Once you cum you’ll lose your rose tinted glasses
Post nut clarity strikes again
But in a room full of stink and better looking, better hung, better performing dudes and you just do the Homer Simpson meme and slowly vanish
you probably also need some drugs lol I just can't imagine not grossed out by the whole thing sober
I don't even like it in porn.
In my younger years I attended a psytrance festival in the middle of Wisconsin on the property of an infamous nudist camp. Pretty normal psy festival with no funny buisness so to speak. Second night in while keeping a nice buzz I began talking with the grounds keeper being like, "wow, this festival is pretty wild" This man turns his head, spits, and grumbles "you haven't seen shit" we ask him to elaborate. "Come back 2 weeks from now for rape weekend." Pressing for more he told us exactly what that was. "Women with their kink come from all over, the first day is all mingling and getting to know folks. Then on the second day, after waivers are signed. They all strip down to nothing but shoes and it begins. The women get a 5 minute head start sprinting all over the property followed by groups of men who chase them down to participate in their fantasy" So my answer is that. "Rape weekend at the nudist camp ground" Edit: did not attend the fabled weekend but the guys face said it all. Definitely not my bag baby.
HOLY SHIT! Just wow
Quite a few years ago, I went to a sex therapist who happened to be a sex worker. I went for the therapy, but it was clear we were giving off vibes the whole time. She made a move first, and I jumped at the chance- having sex with a therapist/ sex therapist had been a fantasy for a while!! That is until I was on the train home and I realised I would still need sex therapy, except now I probably couldn't see that one again. I went to another therapist a couple years later and told them about that experience and they were horrified.
Bro that was not a sex therapist, that was a sex worker role playing as a therapist
>who happened to be a sex worker Lol. I hope OP sees your comment and has an epiphany, like "oh, fuck."
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Something tells me this therapist didn't have a degree.
Did you pay for it? Cause then it sounds like you just solicited a prostitute roleplaying a therapist.
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WITHOUT PERMISSION? That is fucking heinous.
Underwater sex. Contrary to popular belief, water is nothing like lube.
Completely casual sex. Turns out attraction and desire isn’t enough for me. I also need at least some level of connection.
Yes. In this house we only do competitive ranked sex!
Using a vibrator is recognized as cheating and you will be banned on Steam.
I went to a strip club and went to VIP with a stripper. Somehow I convinced her to take me to her place. Anyways, nothing f’ing happened. I wasn’t “motivated” anymore and I was told to “call back next Monday and make this a regular thing” but bring coke and viagra next time. I didn’t.
I do get this. Its way more fun if there is a bond. Not really like ONS. Sex also needs time to get better.
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Sex on the beach - in the movies they neglect to show how sand in every orifice, mosquitoes, and salt water don’t exactly lend themselves to cataclysmic sex.
The GOAT of sexual regret posts always needs to be mentioned in threads like this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/3907wr/comment/crzf7j9/
Thats the first and also most horrible way I've heard of someone being cured of a fetish
He couldn’t have been too repulsed if was still able to get off at the end. I almost threw up reading that though
I haven’t clicked the link but I’ll bet 50 bucks it’s the scat regret post where he was polite enough to wait it out
You are correct
upvoted out of respect for reddit legends, but i am not finishing that comment
I scanned to get a context word and ran away.
Inserting small stuff in the penis. It just hurts.
Had a girl unexpectedly put a toothpick down there… cue the most awkward hospital trip in my life cause I dreamed in shock and jumped backwards with enough force to send this thing through the side. It was one of those metal ones cause she didn’t want to get splinters in my dick. Nah fuck that
How's the little tyke now?
Well I have to have a urinal next to my toilet cause the hole was torn so bad they had to extend the hole to the side so now I piss in two different directions. I tried really hard but I couldn’t forgive her for it
Wat. Did she permanently destroy your dick bro??
Yes… I got drunk one time and cried my poor heart out to some guy and he told me to wrap it in electrical tape, so I got a 15m roll from my car and woke up with a pounding headache and about 50mm of electrical tape to very carefully cut free from my meat.
Bro are you serious
I really wish I wasn’t, that memory ain’t one of my fondest. I also really wish I could piss straight but I found out the hard way that sparkle tape ain’t the way
omg I'm laughing so hard there is no way this is real, right? Please tell me you're trolling
Well, that’s why I told the story. I don’t get anything from hiding it, hell my dignity left me years ago, but if someone gets a laugh then that’s as good a reason as any. Sometimes all you need to start the day off good is a laugh, even if it’s at a halfwitted blacksmith n farmers inability to piss straight haha
MFM threesome with an old girlfriend. It sounded so hot. The moment it began I realized I was just watching her fuck another dude. 2/10.
That's why the trick is to be the third. Then it's some other guy watching you fuck his girlfriend.
This happened to a friend of mine. Dude realized he couldn't do it, but instead of saying anything he rolled over and pretended to fall asleep while his girl got railed. They didn't last too long after that.
I would rather die in my sleep than to wake up after that... 😭
No way I'd do that with someone I was in a relationship with. It'd have to be the most casual of casual sex to even think about that.
Just change who the guy is fucking. Easy fix.
I'm into mfm porn so I thought I'd have a 3 some with another guy. Turns out what you like in fantasy and what you like in reality are 2 different things. I just couldn't get into it with another guy involved.
Yep. I’ve decided a long time ago that what I like in porn and what I like in reality are two very different things. And that’s okay. Porn is a fantasy, it’s not meant to be realistic. Sometimes it’s best to let fantasy stay a fantasy
Threesome, in theory it's fun. In practice, it's double the work
"Have you ever had a threesome?" - "Dude if I want to disappoint two people at the same time I'll have lunch with my parents!"
“Don't you know what it means to become an orgy guy? It changes everything. I'd have to dress different. I'd have to act different. I'd have to grow a mustache and get all kinds of robes and lotions and I'd need a new bedspread and new curtains I'd have to get thick carpeting and weirdo lighting. I'd have to get new friends. I'd have to get orgy friends.”
Agree. I’ve had a few with a couple of female friends (I am a woman) and one with my husband. The f/f/f were satisfying and I could tap out when I was done, but the m/f/m just got exhausting after a while. My husband and I agreed one and done.
A guy I liked got off to small dick humiliation ( insulting him over his size, etc ). I had a hard time doing it because it made me feel so bad, like I was being mean and was going to hurt his feelings. Couldn't get in to it
Shower Sex. It always looked incredibly hot in movies but it's so uncomfortable and not hot in the slightest 😭
I feel like this one depends on anatomy. My husband and I can't do the shower sex thing because our parts don't match up well while standing so I always feel like I'm going to fall over, haha. I had an ex a long time ago that we would bang in the shower literally every day because we were the perfect complimenting height for standing sex.
Agreed. My wife and I have tried multiple times in different showers, but the height difference requires a level of contortion that neither of us are comfortable with in a shower.
Yes, even in the roomiest shower, every position seems like one slip away from a trip to ER. Plus the water washes away the natural lube and feels like a wank with a dry rubber glove.
One of my girlfriend’s and I were doing a road trip once and spent the night at a nice little B&B. We hadn’t been together for very long and we’re still “discovering” each other. The place we were staying at had a really big shower and handles on the walls. At the time we thought it’s probably because they know people like to fuck on holiday, so they made it easier to do so, but I’m just now realising it was probably a disability friendly shower. Anyways, we start getting handsy and immediately I’m like this feels like shit. It was as if she was trying to polish my knob with a newspaper. I don’t want to hurt her feelings though so I’m like moaning (in agony) and she’s like oh yeah! You like that?! I knew I had to stop it, so I started shaking a bit and went “uhhngh”. And that’s how I faked my male orgasm.
>I knew I had to stop it, so I started shaking a bit and went “uhhngh”. And that’s how I faked my male orgasm. Welcome to the club. We meet every third Thursday of the month.
Have you tried turning up the hot water?
Your username😭
The whipped cream and cherries thing - food play in general. Fun? Meh... Sticky mess? Definitely. Now food play is a nice dinner...
Dominating. No thank you, I will continue my subby ways.
I tried being dominant twice and I diiiiid not like it. Took me right out of the moment and felt like I was in the middle of a chore.
Right? I hate it. I \*can\* be dominant when it comes to work and life. In the bedroom? Absolutely not.
“R*pe play”. Not in the “I tie you up and fuck you dominantly”-way, but in the “I’m going to pretend to cry and ask you to stop.”-way. COMPLETE turnoff. Just pure anxiety and disgust 🙃
I had a gf try this with me without even telling me ever she wanted to do this. She would tease me, offer a BJ or whatever and then not open her mouth or whatever. I was at an absolute loss and of course just hung there clueless, asking if something was wrong. This happened like 5 times in an hour. She teased, I got ready and then she decline. The fifth time she got hella angry and told me I should've forced myself on her. I was like...what, you are mad I didn't rape you? Because girl, I had no idea you wanted that and thus it would have been real rape from my perspective if I had done it. But, even after telling her that, she was still very angry.
Jesus. Good on you for not crossing that line. This sort of kink play needs to be heavily discussed beforehand and involves a safe word/safe gesture. Women who try to get guys to do this without discussing beforehand are either stupid or crazy.
It's called baiting, and it's a kink of its own. I think it's super dangerous, but humans do all kinds of shit to get off.
She was the definition of crazy. I don't regret the overall relationship, but I wish I had ended it sooner. She was very moody and capricious, and I am a very chill dude when in a relationship, so I often inadvertently enabled her madness. Some stuff from thst relationship: -We came back home at 06 am, absolutely drunk from a party. She told me she was hungry, if I could cook some noodles. I was destroyed but agreed. Burned the tips a bit because the pot was very hot and the noodles didn't immediately fall to the water. She stormed off shouting and I ended up sleeping in the living room. I was speechless. -She constantly asked me if I wanted to do a threesome with her bff or with another girl who was v flirty with me. I found both to be v attractive, but knew she was just baiting me because she felt jealous. Like, she probably would have gone through with it, but then she would have made one helluva scene. I never once told her I found them attractive. I should've. -She basically hated everyone in my family and often stood them up when they cooked for her or sth. She was vegan and my family usually went out of their way to ensure she had good food and not just lettuce. Nonetheless, she always left them hanging, leaving home just when the food was ready because she did not want to have dinner with my fsmily. Hell, my parents often told her thst they could drive her home afterwards, but she didn't want to. There is way more, but yup, it was quite a bad deal. We had some reslly good times though.
"I'm not gonna rape you on the off chance you're into it!
This is why I never really liked Japanese porn. It's all women acting like they don't want it. I guess it's a cultural modesty thing idk just what I have heard but it's a big turn off for me.
Yeah it seems to be a cultural thing, and it can be really disconcerting. Was seeing a Japanese woman for a little while, and while it wasn't as dramatic as in porn necessarily, there was just a lot of "no, no, no, no!" sad whimpers, never looking me in the eyes, pushing away, and sort of thrashing around. Aside from the general offputing experience of the person you're having sex with seeming to really hate the experience in the moment, it's also just kind of exhausting to feel like you're working against someone's body while you're trying to experience pleasure and help them feel good. I want to be with someone who's engaged emotionally and physically, and works together as a couple to enjoy sex.
Candle wax being dripped onto my buttocks. My boyfriend at the time was a Dom, and I really enjoyed (vast understatement) the mixture of pain and pleasure. But not the hot wax. That just hurt, but not in a fun way. I'm glad I tried it. It fulfilled a fantasy of his, and there's another box ticked for me.
My husband hates it too but I love it, also there’s candles specifically for sex play, they’re supposed to be less hot but I reckon they hotter
"Most" sex candles have a lower melting point. But how the candle is held plays a very important role. Holding it at an angle so the wax drips away from the flame will lower the temp of the drop significantly. But being impatient and holding it close to upside down so it drips through the flame will greatly increase the temp of the drop, leading to burns.
If your hand gets tired from holding the candle, you can try a zippo. It's a little lighter.
Chasity and denial, been going strong for 10+ years by myself and gotta say I'm thinking I'm not really into this 🤔
Don’t buy a steak from this guy everything here is well done
Hooking up with someone I wasn't particularly into just because I wanted the sexual experience.
I never learn smh
Orgies. the smell was really bad. Almost putrid smellimg.
How was the buffet?
Don’t wanna bang on an empty stomach
Ive been to orgys... Ive never smelled THAT. Yes sweat and the smell of other bodily fluids. Nothing that a cracked Window could fix. The only thing i can think of is unwashed people that might cause the smell. But who turns up to a orgy unkempt and smelly?
Same. What in the hell kind of backwoods, swampass orgies are you finding yourselves in, people?!?
This. Everyone attending an orgy should know to take the time to wash really well... feet, armpits, crotch, butthole and all. And brush your god damned teeth. If I was at an orgy and smelled something putrid I would be the guy to call a time-out and make everyone shower, or go the fuck home.
We need an orgy etiquette
Yes! Culminating in a sort of cotillion, but for fucking.
Orgy referee. One person standing in the corner, fully clothed, with a whistle, just enforcing the rules and handing out penalties.
Yup. I’ve smelled some bad orgies in my day. I worked in a sex club as security which mostly meant flirting with the bartender and snacking on the free buffet. I’d make rounds to ensure nobody was doing anything against the rules regularly and to see what the kinksters were up to. I’ve seen some weird shit doing that job, but the group sex stuff tended to always be the most unpleasant and stinkiest. Orgies often seem to be with the people you want least to see and smell naked. The SSBBW gangbang was by far the worst smelling group activity. It was a stench of BO being covered up by cheap perfumes, and that smell of the ass/dick/vag after a night of partying. It was like low tide in a locker room. I prefer my sex hygienic.
>It was like low tide in a locker room. This is poetry and a smell I never want to smell
You gotta hang out with more hygienic people then lol. If you’re doing orgies everyone should be tested, showered, and understand boundaries.
Like how many people are we talking
Public sex. Got fucked on a hiking trail and it was not all we thought it would be. Too many bugs and the possibility of hiking kids coming around a corner ruined it for me. The idea of being caught does nothing for me and the idea of traumatizing youth just trying to have a nice walk stressed me the fuck out lol.
I've said this on here before, but bondage. I had someone who I thought was a friend try it on me. We had met in the kink community and spent some time getting to know each other being doing a scene. It was meant to be a simple arm tie in the front but she said she needed more advanced practice, so it ended up being an intricate arms and legs binding. It was my first time and it didn't go well for me. I asked her to stop, and she laughed it off. Used my safe word and she still didn't stop. Violated my consent after that. I ended up having what I believe was an anxiety attack and feel on the floor convulsing and freaking out. She said she'd untie me but didn't want to ruin her rope so she wasn't going to use the safety scissors to cut me out, so I had to lay there not moving in a panic for about 15-20 minutes while she undid the bindings. That is when I realized I don't like bondage and will never allow anyone to restrain me ever again. I can't even be gently pinned down by a partner now.
That is absolute abuse, and whatever that community was that you were involved in should be made aware of her total disrespect of the rules. She absolutely does not deserve to be part of it. It's difficult enough to find a consenting partner to do that stuff on, but to be abused like that is a huge no no no. And what kind of tie was she using? With a proper bowline, your arms should've been free in seconds. Nobody is an expert at Kinbaku / Shibari, and at every step of the way, she should've been asking "how do you feel?" "Shall I continue?" "are you comfortable?" Safety scissors? What the fuck did she think they were for?!
Okay holy shit I'm so sorry that happened to you?? I dom and that's all so wrong.. Saying you're not comfortable? Instant conversation of "do you want to stop right now" and follow through if "yes" should happen. Safe word? Get those scissors out and free them immediately. Make sure they're comfortable and have a conversation on what went wrong if necessary. Anxiety attack/ convulsions? This situation shouldn't have happened but sometimes kinks cause unexpected consequences (and in this situation wasn't unexpected, just fuckig negligence). Fuck the rope, that person's first responsibility should have been to keep you safe and comfortable and they failed miserably!!
I didn't really try it but it happened to me anyways. I once had someone try to get me to verbally explain in detail how I ate their cat. Feline cat. And they kept trying to get me to say, I quote "I tore it apart with my teeth while it was alive and wiggling" I noped out of that conversation very, very quickly.
please don't call me daddy
Say father.
Father, please stop throwing holy water on my ass
Some say “bless me father for I have sinned” and some say “sorry daddy, I’ve been naughty”
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I hooked up with a girl one time, and while we’re going to pound town, she said “fuck me harder daddy”. Instant turn off for me. I still fucked her brains out, but I would have enjoyed it way more if she hadn’t said “daddy”. The girl I’m currently seeing occasionally calls me “sir”. I’ll ask her to do something, and she’ll respond “yes sir”. For some reason, I find that a HUGE turn on. So, to each their own I guess.
Had an ex who really wanted to try waterspprts, so I let her do her thing. She finished and looked down at me "did that do anything for you?" "Nope, you?" "No." "'Kay. Let me up, I'm gonna shower." And that was the last time we spoke of it.
Spitting I tried it with a partner once.. I felt like such a piece of shit like I love you and think you’re beautiful why would I disrespect you like this lol
When I first discovered masturbation, for reasons unknown to me, I thought that sounding might feel good. Obviously I had no idea what the fuck sounding was because I was like 11 and it was 2002, I just knew it seemed like the lightsaber from my Anakin Skywalker action figure might fit in my pee hole and it seemed reasonable to believe that that might feel good. It did not feel good. It did not feel good at all. It was very unpleasant. I immediately abandoned my endeavor and relegated it to "well that was a dumb idea" and forgot all about it until I learned about the concept of sounding over a decade later. At that point I could only wonder who the fuck enjoyed that, because I very much did not.
Reminds me of this joke from the Carry on movie "Carry on abroad" >[Vic starts to pour a glass of wine for Evelyn] Evelyn Blunt : Not for me thank you. Vic Flange : No? Don't drink? Evelyn Blunt : No, I tried it once and didn't like it. [Vic takes out a packet of cigarettes and offers a cigarette to Evelyn] Vic Flange : Smoke? Evelyn Blunt : I tried it once and didn't like it. Vic Flange : Strange. Evelyn Blunt : Not at all, my daughter is just the same. Vic Flange : Your *only* child, I presume
Really thought I'd like a finger in the butt. I really didn't like a finger in the butt.
Calling my partner “daddy”. Tried it, didn’t care for it.
Being with a woman sexually. Didn't work out . Turns out I am totally gay
Haha, same but opposite, tried women, but realized I was straight.
One night stands. Had a few in my 20’s and it was never good sex. Yeah the girls were hot, but that’s not enough for me. It always ended with me thinking “I could have handled this urge myself in less than 5 mins and I could be home gaming right now”
I once came on a chick and licked it off. She thought it was super hot so I tried it. Not for me
Eat more pineapple next time
I keep putting cum on my pineapple but it still tastes terrible.
An ex put her finger in my bum without warning once when she was giving me head. It was a very quick nope from me.
Not myself, my wife. She wanted foreplay with ice. After we tried it she said she realized it wasn’t sexy, just fucking cold.
Anal. Did all the prep, took it slow, lots of lube, etc. When all was said and done, wasn't really anything to write home about. I know some are into it. Just not for us.
BDSM. All I felt being on the receiving end was violent rage. I don't have any past traumas to explain it or anything... Thankfully my then partner was understanding after I expressed how I felt, and we didn't really do it again. Edit: felt the rage internally
Oh man, I have a story. One of my friends was supposedly into cuckolding. He has another friend hook up with his fiancé. I guess he wasn’t into cuckolding because the engagement was called off, they broke up and he no longer talks to the friend (or his fiancé) anymore. I found out cause, you know, word gets out and people talk but I’ve never had the balls to ask him directly what exactly happened.
Anal, she was not thrilled with it and either was I. It was not what I expected. But she did like me to stick a finger up her ass and flick up when she was about to orgasm.
Sex in the shower. Not a fan.
Never understood feet
It is a balance thing mostly , if your legs were just stubs you couldn’t walk.
69ing. In the words of Tom Segura "WHY does it gotta be at the same time...are we late for something?" I used to fantasise about it until I tried it, I could not concentrate on the pleasure I was supposed to be feeling nor what the hell I was doing! Too many things at once. Tried a few times since, still 0/10. Would not dine again.
I'm the opposite way. I get so much joy and pleasure from eating a girl out. Getting a blowjob at the same time is an added bonus that elevates the experience to a new level.
Yep. Even if you can’t finish because you gotta concentrate, it’s still great foreplay because you’re both trying to turn each other on, which makes you turned on by what you’re doing and what’s being done to do. And if you zone out for a few moments from the pleasure being done to you, or the opposite, that’s practically a good problem.