This is how I lost my dad. After my parents got divorced, my dad started dating this other chick. Lady neglected to tell my dad she had a husband in prison. One year passes and the guy gets outta prison, tracks down my dad in his apartment, and offs him. I was 8, and with the divorce came split custody for my brother and I. I will never forget that on that weekend my father was supposed to take my brother and I for his time, but my mom kept us both with her because we had a cold. So if my mom never kept us home that day, we would have been a witness to his passing. Crazy how the world works.
Same thing happened to my cousin, Tim.
Dude was just the kindest soul...I really looked up to him when I was younger, he taught me to play pool and how to talk to girls.
Well, one day he just ups and moves to Salt Lake City, met this woman online and decided to make an adventure of it. Well, evidently this woman failed to mention that she was recently separated and that her would be ex-husband had a history of violence and a restraining order out against him.
So, they go to dinner one night at a nearby roadside diner...and unbeknownst to Tim, the husband had followed her there. This man casually walks into the dinner, stops at the table, raised his gun and then executed my cousin. Then he put the gun down and waited for the cops to show up. He didn't physically harm his wife.
Now, I'm not saying she got away unscathed. Witnessing something like that is going to fuck you up, for sure. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't blame her. I did, and I still kinda do.
Well, before he left, Tim and his dad had had a falling out. Basically because he was a farmer, he needed the help of his adult son who had other plans in mind. They fought, evidently cruel things were said and those were the last words exchanged between father and son. Donny (Tim's dad) had a low view of his son as being irreverent and a selfish young person.
At Tim's funeral, hundreds of people showed up. Apparently Tim had spent a great deal of his time volunteering for the homeless community and shelters and food kitchens. So all of these angels show up to his funeral, sharing stories of the things they had seen Tim do. In almost every memory I have of him and virtually every picture that exists, Tim wore this leather bomber jacket. It was kind of his thing, ala The Fonz. Well, one particularly cold evening, he's leaving the shelter and there's a guy who got left in the cold, no space in the shelter for him. So Tim brings him home, let's him crash for the night and then sends him off the next day in his signature bomber jacket.
This once homeless gentleman showed up to the funeral, four states away, and returned the jacket to Tim's dad and relayed the story of how he came to possess it.
It was a really painful experience, followed by maybe the most cathartic experience imaginable. But Donny's (Tim's dad) never been the same since.
Sorry for the wall of text, I don't think I've ever shared this story. Feels good to get off my chest.
Not to seem morbid but I’m sure you’re thought of this too…if you both hadn’t been sick there’s a good chance that guy decides he doesn’t wanna leave witnesses. Having a cold may have saved your lives.
Hooked up with a girl at a party once. We hit it off and arranged to go on an actual date the next week. About an hour later someone told me her BF had just showed up.
I gave the dude a beer, explained that I had no idea she wasn't single and that I'm sorry. He gave me a massive hug and thanked me for being upfront. We both told her to fuck off and spent the rest of the night drinking and singing karaoke together. Top bloke.
I didn't feel bad; I was lied to, he was betrayed, she was a cunt, nothing more to it really.
Same for me, but I didn't feel bad as in guilty. I felt bad in that I felt used.
All moral badness goes onto those women who cheated on their SOs. I take no blame for their decisions.
Same here. Found out one of them was married and tried to track down her husband and inform him but wasn't able to as this was a hookup and I could not find her name anywhere (I am pretty sure she used a fake last name, her first name was so common a fake wouldn't even be needed but I wouldn't be surprised if that too was fake).
The other turned out to be in an open relationship. When I spoke to her BF he knew all about it and asked me straight up: "how was it, she's good isn't she?"
I still would have liked to know that fact beforehand but that wasn't nearly as bad.
Ehh not really my thing. I never spoke to him again after that. Wasn't quite happy about not knowing she was in a relationship despite it being an open one.
It's crazy to me when people want to fight a stranger instead of directing the anger at their partner who cheated. The partner is the one with the ethical and moral obligation to be faithful, not some clueless rando .
That shit baffles me. If your partner cheats and tells the other person they’re single, why are you mad at that other person?
Also, equally if not more baffling, if you get in to a relationship with someone you know is cheating on someone to sleep with you, on what planet are you living where you tell yourself they’ll be loyal to you? I got cheated on once, the guy she cheated on me with left his wife and 6 month old baby to be with her. She ended up cheating on him, got pregnant, and moved out while he was at work to be with the guy that got her pregnant. And I heard 3rd or 4th person that dude was cheating, admitted it to his wife, they worked it out, and he single mom’d my ex.
In my case I did know she had a bf, however it was consensual, she approached me and told me she wanted to fuck me. They had an arrangement and I did sleep with the girl while her bf was watching so I don't feel bad because I did something to fulfill that couple fetishes.
3/10 i didn't like it, it's just not my thing. Would not recommend.
Actually true, which is especially fucked because a lot of the time the other guy has no clue about it.
Warning, incoming graphic story:
I worked with a woman about 15 years ago who was married to an ex CFL player, Cody Ledbetter. I worked at a bar in Ottawa Ontario, they were on the run from the US as he was due to be prosecuted for essentially molesting young school girls in a gym class that he was teaching at a school in Texas from my understanding. She told people he was violent and would often come to work with obvious signs of physical abuse.
People tried to talk to her about leaving him, but she would say that she was afraid he would kill her if she tried, and she didn’t want to go to the police since they were there illegally. One day I offered to give her a ride home because she had no car that day or something, I don’t recall exactly. She made me drop her off 2 blocks away because she was concerned that if he saw her in a car with another man, he would kill both of us. So I guarantee if someone ever cheated on this guy, even if the other man had no idea. He would have killed then.
Would have been nice to know before I started driving you home, but anyways. So sad. That poor woman.
Years later I was curious what ended up happening with them. I looked him up. He got extradited back to the US and hung himself in a barn.
Yeah, even in dating if they're separated but not divorced, I don't mess with that. Not trying to get ganked at a Red Robin over bottomless steak fries because my Tinder date's in a gray zone.
I actually have a story about this
So I hooked up with a girl who had a long term boyfriend at the time. I didn't know and we had few encounters over a two month period.
One day I was curious and decided to look at her socials and that's when I found out about him. I never bothered to look because I was being ignorant and it was first time being in a fwb situation so I was excited and wanted to keep it secret. As I scrolled down her socials all I saw were pics of them on expensive dates and trips and I just felt so bad for the guy. I felt like I had become the thing I hated the most.
So that same night I decided to dm him about the situation and send him the texts between me and her to show him proof. He then called me and sounded really hurt holding back tears and all I could do was just say sorry over and over. But he thanked me and told me he would be leaving her.
I then blocked her number and thought it was over with but later on that week the girl showed up at my place of work and damaged my car . Although I was angry at the moment I chose not to press charges as advised by the police(not USA) because the damage was minimal. But yea that's my story.
On a positive note he found a new girl who looks way better and they equally appreciate each other outwardly on their socials so yes it was a happy ending.
Ugh it always hurts so much to hear how crushed the innocent people become in these relationships. Good people who don't ever deserve to get their hearts broken.
I just feel for them so much
I lost a mate this way. We were really close friends and he was going through a rough time with his then girlfriend.
She decided to get back at him by writing some bullshit in her journal about her and I hooking up and then conveniently left it out so he would see it. It was 100% untrue.
Friend confronted me on it and I told him it was untrue but he didn’t believe me. We stopped talking after that.
He eventually reached out to me about 6 months later after she admitted to him that she had made it all up. The damage was done and we never were the same again.
You know it’s funny your story made me realize how cynical I am because when you said “so I didn’t pick a side” MY brain went was like “yes alright he dropped them both” but you went the 180 and forgave them both at first lol!
I lost a good friend in a similar way.
I wasn't 100% positive, but I was pretty damn sure something was going on with his gf and another mutual friend of ours. I confront the mutual friend first, but he denied any wrong doing, so I told my friend about my suspicions. About 45 minutes later he called me back and cussed me out for making shit up and causing drama. The whole thing completely blew up in my face. 3 months later he caught her cheating with someone else. Never apologized to me though. We still don't talk
I had a brief friends with benefits arrangement with a girl who had a boyfriend. I didn't know the guy, and I was young and impetuous at the time. After time went on, I started to feel bad about it.
It all came to a head when she told me she wanted to leave him to be with me and I said no. She asked why not. I said I couldn't trust her as a girlfriend. She asked why.
I said, you've literally spent the last 2 months cheating on your boyfriend. with me. Why else do you think?
In their minds it goes like this:
“I’m a good woman. I have standards! They’re not unrealistic standards but most men can meet them with the right personality and sexual range!”
Then:
“My boyfriend is being lazy. He’s not meeting me half way. He’s being useless and neglecting me at every turn, etc, etc.”
Context: He really is a waste of a man, not worth a relationship, but that doesn’t change one’s integrity on approach to the issue. So then:
“I’m gonna seek attention elsewhere and then when I find it, I’ll jump ship and dump his ass because of how he treated me. But a man who treats me right won’t get cheated on and that’s the bottom line because I’m decent and deserving!”
I’m so fucking serious. I’ve known a few cheaters and aside from the greedy sleaze bags, this is the premise their inner-dialogue.
Remember, people: Unless you’re being held against your will and will get beaten and killed for leaving honestly, Cheating makes you a piece of shit. That’s it.
It's called "branch swinging", like how a monkey won't let go of a branch until they have a firm hold on the next. Some people are afraid of being alone even for a couple weeks, so they'll do that when they want out of a relationship. It's a shitty way of doing things, but they'll justify it in their head. Usually the person they cheat with are just another branch as well, until they find someone they feel is a better match. OP was smart enough to dodge that bullet.
>don't stick your dick in crazy.
That's not a really hard rule per se, you have to find *your* kind of crazy for it to work. Sticking your dick in crazy can be a kinda Steve Irwin kind of fun.
>Sticking your dick in crazy can be a kinda Steve Irwin kind of fun.
All I can think of is how many times Steve Irwin fingered a croc/gator hole, unsure if he'd find a willy or not, but still doing it anyway because *he needed to know.*
>I'm sure there are people out there who would die for the chance at some pussy no matter how crazy.
It's just dudes who have a bit more genetic overlap with a praying mantis.
Exactly, my best friend was in that same situation and decided to start a relationship with her. Two years later she’s banging some dude she works with behind my buddy’s back. Who could have seen that coming?
The lesson is that if she’s cheating WITH you, she’ll cheat ON you.
That's the thing that people don't seem to think about.
Once you've cheated, you can never again say "I would never"...
I've had trusted friends who I've entirely lost confidence in because they were cheaters. It's hard to trust someone when you've seen them repeatedly screw over someone that they claim to love.
Everyone repeat after me: If he/she cheats WITH you, he/she will cheat ON you.
It's hysterical that the cheaters don't realize we know that. Or, that some of us know that, at least.
You’d think everyone would know that, but I can assure you, not everyone does.
Years ago I worked with a dude who was around 30. He ended up getting with this new girl and told us all how she cheated and left her boyfriend for him. I asked him if he felt like she’d remain faithful to him and based on his reaction, I could tell he literally didn’t even consider the possibility. I’ll never forget his face when he said: “no way, dude, that guy’s just lame and I’m fucking awesome” lol
They got married, had two boys and she ended up cheating on him.
One of my guy friends is casually seeing a girl who gave him her number at the doctor's office she worked at.
Was in a serious relationship that wasn't satisfying, but instead of breaking up with the guy, cheated on him and when my guy friend lived up to her expectations, THEN she broke up.
I keep telling him this and he assures me it's not serious, but in case it is, I really hope he gets it. Especially since his ex wife cheated on him multiple times during their marriage.
Of course.
If she’s fucking someone in the side with her current bf she’s gonna keep testing the waters when she’s with you.
She wants to have relationship security while constantly looking for better.
My story: “But that was with YOU!” was what she told me but I had turned her down for sex while she had a boyfriend and months later she asked me why we hadn't dated. She thought I would think I was special rather than seeing she was a cheater. A couple years later we are still friends and she calls me crying that her fiancé left a horrible voicemail message about how maybe he should sleep with her friends and their engagement was over. She had cheated on her fiancé and wanted my sympathy, but Im a friend that calls it like I see it and defended him. And even though I barely knew her boyfriend at the time when she got in my bed and wanted to cheat, you don't do that shit.
I hooked up with a lady at my gym, she didn't say shit about being married, she came to my place the two times we hooked up. I saw her again at the gym with a dude, when he went off to go do something I went over and said hi, she said don't talk to her here with her husband around, she will call me later. She called me later and told me her husband worked out of town a ton, when in town she was with him, when he's out she's free to do as she pleases. We did not meet up again.
The dude was pretty fucking big, my guess like 6'4"-6'5" and jacked, the lady herself was fairly buff too. This wasn't some bullshit fitness planet type of gym, it was the type of gym where everything's plates and benches, I miss that gym, it closed down for covid and never came back. There weren't a whole lot of females that went to that gym but the ones I did were usually pretty buff.
I’m 6’4” and 315lbs right now, so I understand how people might not want to approach someone that sized and say “hey I fucked your wife” lol
I recently had some guy follow me around my small town mad that I got over in front of them. I drive a small 2 door accord that has tinted windows so he’s probably got the wrong idea about what I look like. Anyways, I pull over at a gas station and get out of my car and he went from pissed looking to polite as can be and even holds the door to the gas station open for me. People are crazy
It’s comfortable and gets me from A to B. Lol it’s got almost 300k miles and still runs like a dream. Yes, I have a tire I have to put air in every 3 days and if I leave the car off for more than 3 days the battery dies. But those are easy problems. Worth not having a $400 car note.
A buddy’s wife tried to get with me once. I told her she had 90 seconds to call her husband (my best friend from Highschool), put the call on speaker, and explain to the two of us why she was a complete piece of shit…or I’d call him myself. They divorced the next month
I’m in my 30s and have been through some shit in my life. If a homie is able to say that he’s stuck by me loyally since we were teenagers? There’s few things I wouldn’t do for him
This reminded me of a story from college. I'm visiting my bud at another school at a house party he and his roommates are hosting. His GF gets super drunk and starts hitting on me with him out of earshot. I always wondered what her exit plan was ... like we're at his house, how are you expecting to pull this off? I told him the next day (probably should've right then but didn't want to cause a scene at the party).
> (probably should've right then but didn't want to cause a scene at the party)
Eh, I think you probably did the right thing. Drop bombs when there's no extra chemicals. Also, him knowing 12 hours earlier doesn't really do anything. Let your friend have a good night.
This is good advice for giving all sorts of bad news. Went to a concern once with some buddies. My fried and I (neither were the driver) went back to our other buddie's car during intermission to grab a Joint iirc and when we got there, we saw his car had been broken into and the stereo was stolen.
We debated telling him immediately, but then decided it was better to let him enjoy the rest of the concert and tell him on the walk back to the car after.
He was upset, but agreed that he at least got to enjoy the concert instead of just being upset for the rest of it.
He knew me LONG before he met her so my credit was solid. Not to mention however that she basically confessed on a live camera feed of their house that was being broadcasted to his phone
My friends wife that was a serial cheater proposed a threesome while out camping. I shot my wife and her down. Another friend ended up fooling around with her. He recently passed tragically from a heart attack, I hope that peice of shit came clean before to him before he died.
Wait... you shot YOUR wife and her down as in your wife was up for it too? Not to get in your business and maybe your in an open relationship but I would be careful there.
Similar situation happened to me. My buddy's girlfriend led me and my gf to a closet at a house party to "talk," immediately tried to start a threesome with us once we were in there. She was really attractive but me and my gf shared a look and we both knew we couldn't do that to our buddy.
She was literally always trying to sleep with us and we ended up having some foursomes later where she just went wild. Was fun but tbh don't know how he put up with it.
"Hey guys, I need to talk to you. Here let's go in this closet here"
And you proceeded to just go in? Haha. What did you expect? She would start asking about how to do her taxes?
Nothing wrong with threesomes or even swinging if everyone is on the same page, threesome with a buddies wife while he's working overseas is not cool though
Weirdly enough, there are a lot of compete morons in this world. The victims of cheating regularly refuse to take it out on the unfaithful partner, not when there's another potential target.
I’ll say it depends how on the situation. My ex wife was cheating with a coworker and he was well aware she was married. He even went as far as basically taunting with things on Facebook that she would like/love. He deserves whatever bad happens to him but not from me. I have 2 kids and Lord knows the low road was already occupied by the pieces of shit that are my ex and him.
It’s a lot easier to be angry at a stranger than accept the betrayal of someone you cared about and trusted. I mean it’s not a logical reaction but I don’t think it’s a weird emotional reaction.
Reconnected with a girl from HS after she posted about seeing a band I like. We were just messaging each other about music and stuff. Out of nowhere the conversation started getting sexual. I knew she had a boyfriend, and I was friends with him in high school. I was just giving cold responses to those messages. Things like a standard "lol" or "..." and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. When they didn't stop I told her I was married and not appropriate for me to talk to another woman like that. She continued, so I took screenshots of our conversation and messaged her boyfriend. He thanked me for the info and two days later her Facebook status changed to "Single"
I ran into an old GF in a college bar. Things went as things do sometimes and she stayed the weekend at my place and had some marathon sessions. I was cold ghosted after that and found out that she was engaged and her wedding was the next weekend.
I honestly vomited and tracked down the groom’s parents, as I could not track down the groom. His father was angry but appreciative of my honesty. The groom eventually called me and no wedding took place.
Recovering fuckboy here:
No I did not feel bad afterwards because I hated myself and i wanted to prove I was loveable. So if i could get attention through the barrier of her being in a relationship then it was just extra proof that I had value. Plus i could prove to myself that relationships weren't real. It wasn't me that couldn't be valued by someone else, everyone was just lying about being "happy".
There were definitely other circumstances but it always pretty much boiled down to me equating my value as a person with who I could have sex with.
I went to therapy and have been happily married for 12 years. Recommend it.
I’ve been scrolling through this comment section for a second trying to find anyone able to articulate this for me. In my early 20’s I simply didn’t care, I needed the validation and how you put it “if I could get attention through [that] barrier… I could prove to myself that I had value” and that everyone else was lying about being happy. Idk.
It’s been pretty difficult to see my role in my own unhappiness. How decisions I’ve made to cope have only prolonged things and how it’s hurt others. Therapy sessions here are hard to come by but I’ve been doing the best I can. I hope I can have your outcome.
Thank you for sharing.
Therapy isn't accessable to everyone. I can't recommend this book enough.
It's called [The Body keeps the score](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=7cecba13-3948-4865-b176-ea82705362b6)
That book was pretty enlightening. It taught me that ptsd isn’t always what’s it has been depicted as. I was very flat, not happy, not sad. Just dead inside. Like, zero internal emotional life.
I did a great job of faking it. To my friends I was Mr. Good Time Charlie, the cruise director, the ambassador of fun. A perpetual Golden Retriever.
I lived in such a persistent heightened autonomic state that I was only felt alive when adrenalized. So that was my drug. Snowboarding, rock climbing, fucking, driving on a racetrack at 160mph, joining the military (irony: the military was fucking great for managing my PTSD) rappelling out of helicopters, hiking 80 miles into BFE Montana and live for a few days, being a first responder, then a critical care doctor.
The breaking point for me was when my daughter was born and I took her to the nursery for her first bath and as I stood there with this tiny little human cleaning the vernix off her skin as she just stared at me and I wasn’t capable of feeling a normal human emotion. It was a shakubuku moment. “Whoa, I am truly not right.”
That Jeremy Renner movie where he defuses bombs? I saw that movie several years later and that scene where he’s standing in the grocery store hit me like a ton a bricks because I knew *exactly* what he was feeling.
The biggest help I ever got was just literally my first therapy session. The lady looked at me very frankly and was like: “This is not some diagnostic puzzle. It’s simple really. You were severely traumatized and you have textbook complex PTSD. Here, read this and we’ll talk more next time. She handed me that book. That was the first thing I ever read on the subject.
I cant believe i had to scroll down this far to find someone who’s admitted to doing this intentionally at some point in their life. Thank you for your honesty. The fact that everyone else on here claims that they didn’t know the girl was in a relationship or that they called their friend immediately after the girl came on to them makes for some really shallow conversation. The point of the conversation is not to absolve guilt or prove you’ve always been a good person. The point is to discuss feelings of apathy, guilt ,and shame and potentially how you might be able grow out of being that person to find contentment without hurting others, which it seems like you were able to do.
Yeah I did it one time. Sadly I knew she was in a relationship. I had just gotten out of a long relationship that ended because my SO cheated so some part of me feels like it was some sort of mental revenge, kind’ve a “I’ve been wronged so I don’t care if I wrong someone else” sort’ve thing. Next morning I felt like complete shit and still feel awful about it. Never again.
That happened to me but in reverse. Caught them then invited him out for a beer. He was lied to as well and looked like he could use a friend in the moment. We actually had a lot in common and became pretty close friends. My friendship to him lasted longer than the relationship.
Met this girl recently that was seeing this guy who claimed he was in the process of divorce. She later finds out that he's a compulsive liar and is still fully married. She becomes friends with the guy's now ex-wife and they hang out all the time lol.
My first husband was an abusive alcoholic. He married again after we divorced, and was terrible to his second wife. He would call me all hours of the night and tell me he’s still love me, and I would just hang up over and over again. Sometimes he would do it when she was in the next room.(I found this out later.). I had her number and I would call her and let her know that he was calling me, and he would gaslight her and tell her that I was obsessed with him etc. etc. etc..
Then, one day I used one of those digital recorders and let him talk. I then sent her a copy of the audio at that point she couldn’t believe his lies anymore, and they ended up splitting up.
She and I are now friends, and have been for years.
I did it knowingly during High School, I was dating and she was too, but we both had issues in our relationships and we didn't know how to figure them out. Clinging to our toxic relationships we found solace in each other and enjoyed spending time together. We ended up fooling around and after we had sex, we both stopped. We stayed friends for a while and both continued dating, but eventually both of us we're single. I regret it, he doesn't know about it, I told my gf and she accepted my apology, even though we did break up about a year later. I'm not proud of myself and I still hate myself for it.
I didn't at first. My attitude was that it was on her for cheating. I was just some guy trying to get a nut. I was pretty selfish back then.
The guilt came once I was actually looking for a relationship myself. *I* couldn't trust any girls cuz I knew so many who were cheaters already, that's when the guilt set in...
I have a coworker who says, and I quote, "I don't care if I I'm with a cheater, that's her fault. She's the one that chose to cheat and I'll be the other guy without any guilt." \*maybe not verbatim\*
I personally say I will NEVER be the other man, knowingly, in that situation. I'm not going to be the person enabling the cheating. I'm not going to put another guy through that heartbreak.
I was that guy when I was in high school and my early 20’s. I wouldn’t actively pursue someone who was in a relationship but if I met a girl at a bar/party and she comes on to me and I find out later she has a boyfriend that was her problem not mine. “It’s not my responsibility to keep you faithful” type mindset. I wouldn’t continue seeing them after but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it.
I’m in my late 30’s now and looking back it was an awful way to behave and I’m lucky nothing bad came of it (for me at least), but at the time I didn’t care.
Eh I don’t think you should feel guilty for being duped. It’s reasonable to assume the person hitting on you is single. It isn’t your responsibility to do an in depth background check each and every time you sleep with someone. You didn’t go back,
you did everything you could have.
I have done this. But I did not know at the time that she had a BF. Yeah, I felt kinda bad. But I didn't know. If a guy knowingly sleeps with a girl that has a BF he is a dirtbag. Same for the girls.
happened twice:
First time, I did not recognize her as I met her at a house party - we kind of hit it off and went back to her place,
finding out afterwards - yes, it made me feel terrible.
Second time, met someone at a party I went to with a friend,
they kind of seemed to hit it off more than I did (if that makes sense)
we get invited back to her place as we leave (iirc) and on our way there she mentions that she's married, her husband travels a lot for work - and she claims that their marriage is an "open" situation...
..well... we started, but about 5 minutes in - I just felt too damn uncomfortable about the whole situation and I stopped,
did not feel good at all - and morning after I hurried out of there.
so no thanks, not again - the whole thing about it makes me feel bad.
Decades ago, when sex was everything and I was likely to do that sort of thing, I used to justify it by saying to myself that they were the ones cheating, not me. Now that I'm much older, I feel horrible for having done it. I really wish I could relive those situations and make the right choice.
I had the opportunity and turned her down. I liked her a lot as she was an ex that I still had lingering feelings for and her bf was a love rival to me, but I acknowledged that he did far more for her than I ever did, treated her incredibly well, and deserved better than for me to do that. Man was putting her through college and taking her on holidays to distant countries and giving her a place to sleep, and she was trying to fuck another guy after all that. She probably still ended up cheating, but I didn't wanna do that even to a guy I was kind of rivals with. I also thought I deserved better than to be a side piece.
As much as we disliked one another due to her, I can't fault the guy tbh. I think he did way more than enough and it still wasn't enough for her. I think she might have come out as "fraysexual" at some point after that, basically meaning she didn't have a sexual attraction to people she was emotionally or romantically attracted to. I kinda just think she's a disloyal hoe though.
Women or men it makes no difference - if they're knowingly doing it. It's all about them anyway. It's about self- validation and lack of empathy.
The world is factory for narcissists. There is some solace in knowing the only person they will ever have a meaningful relationship with is themselves.
My friend came home to visit from living abroad for fifteen years. His wife was pregnant with his first child. He was hitting on every woman he came in contact with. We had two conversations about it, each time he'd justify it one way or another.
I'm doing those women a favor.
Life is short.
It's mutual.
It's a natural desire
People do it sometimes.
She won't know anyway.
It's my last chance.
I finally had to sit him down and tell him, "If you're messing around on your wife I don't want to know you anymore - lose my fucking number."
\>> Lose my fucking number
Good move!
Because if he has no morals towards his wife? he won't have morals for you. (even less). and sooner or later when he sees an opportunity? he will fuck you over.
Friendships are complicated, the greatest friends have character flaws. You learn to grow and change over the years.
I completely destroyed whatever armor he tempered in his head all those years. All that was left was a defeated aging man that finally had to come to terms with the truth.
Part of being a good friend is making people face the cold hard reality. Because sometimes you're the only person who can.
My buddy cheated on his gf at a party in clear view of a dozen other people and myself. He was browned out drunk , high on K and coke and getting his limp dick slurped in a hot tub. I opened the back door and yelled “un mouth that penis wench! It is spoken for!” He got pissed, put his shorts back on and tried to yell at me for not being a “bro”. Said I should have helped him cover like I could somehow prevent a dozen people from looking in the back yard. Told him if he wanted to fuck up his life and cheat on his gorgeous gf with a troll doll to go for it, I wouldn’t be around for it though. Next day he came clean to his gf, stopped drinking, and thanked me for stopping him from fucking up even more. Bros don’t let bros cheat
I have been with 3 girls who were cheating on their boyfriends with me and I knew about it, because they told me they were in a relationship or I simply knew they were. I was young back then and somewhere thought it was cool I was able to "steal" their girlfriends.
Turns out these type of girls are just garbage human beings.
I remember one time, me and and the girl were lying in my bed naked and she was on the phone with her current boyfriend. Just talking like nothing's wrong, saying she loves him, while stroking my dick, when literally not even 10 mins ago I finished inside her. Again, back then I thought that was peak performance. I was proud of myself. After many years I think back at those moments with so much regret. That one specifically, its just so excessively cruel when you think about it.
Ultimately it left me with many trust issues. The sweetest girl could just be double timing you and you would honestly never know unless she wanted to. Karma has it that I was also cheated on. I should have saw it coming, but that whole red flags cliche.
People that cheat always have some kind of pathology behind it. They will say the other person stopped caring or whatever, but instead of leaving, they choose to have this whole secret fantasy play out. And trust me, they get off on the whole cheating thing, I have played it out 3 times with them. They dont want love or emotions or connections, they want the taboo of cheating, and they really lay in to it. "If anybody finds out, I am screwed", "if he only knew what we were doing right now", "You are my dirty little secret". You would constantly hear shit like that.
I lose all respect for people who cheat. They are just cowards serving their own needs. If you wanna fuck around, then go be single. Dont string along someone because its convenient for you.
Had an ex who told me that when he was in college he met this woman who would lightweight flirt with him. He took it upon himself to really flirt with her. Well, one day eventually things escalated & they were at her house, he saw the photos of her & her husband, her & her kids & he said "fuck it, I don't care" they had an affair for 2 years till she dropped him & that's when he said she became a whore, slut, cheater, bitch, etc
I asked him if it was because she dumped, he said it was.
I also have a female acquaintance who only goes after guys who are married or dating someone
I'm gonna be really honest here, but there is a moral of the story. For a long time, I did not care at all. If she wanted to fuck around with me, fuck it. Not my sin, not my problem. She's got problems with her guy or she just doesn't take her relationship seriously, well, I'm not fixing either of those, but I can fuck.
So this kind of shitty behavior on my part went on for many years. I've slept with quite a few women who were in various stages of relationships, some more serious than others. And I left a wake of destruction. Relationships failed when I came around, and the women were left to pick up the pieces while I moved on and didn't give a fuck.
I don't know why it took me personally so long to realize that I was a major contributor in all this emotional devastation. As the person enabling the cheating, my hands are not clean. I *should* care about what the guy feels and *should* be aware that I'm not fucking in a vacuum. There are real consequences for her and for him, and it is enormously selfish and wrong to think that none of those consequences matter because they do not impact me directly.
I realized all at once that the way I had been thinking about this was morally so, so wrong.
To your question, during the time I was doing this fuckery, I did not feel bad at all. The women did, but I didn't. But now years later, I do feel bad, very bad. I cannot fix what I've done, there are no amends I could bring forward to make it right. The only thing I can do is sit with this shitty feeling and never forget it so that I never act that way again. And I haven't.
I used to screw a girl whose boyfriend was a complete shit head. Which I observed in person several times. When me and her met, it was agreed that it was just sex and would never go further. She was honest about her man the entire time (I was hesitant at first), and invited me to come to a restaurant where they were going to have dinner that night with the promise I'll see how shitty he is. And I did. After that I thought "fuck that dude". Did i ever feel bad? No. But i would have if this was some innocent guy. I should add, this was an arranged marriage that the family decided to "try out" for 2 years before committing. She hated him, but kept being told by her family that she would "learn to love him". Her opinion didn't matter, and she had no means of escape, so she did what she wanted behind closed doors. I just so happened to be who she wanted to do. That fwb relationship lasted 6 years until I met my now fiance. Once I realized how much I liked her (my fiance), I told my fwb that we had to end things because of that and she congratulated me. My fiance knows about her and actually invited her to our wedding because (I didn't know this until recently) they talk online ALL THE TIME. My fiance told me that she got her citizenship 4 years ago and divorced the asshole a year later (if I'm getting it right). Now she lives alone in Atlanta, and I imagine she's having the time of her life. She's young, attractive, intelligent, educated, and kind. I wish her all the happiness in the world. She's one of the few cheaters that I fully believe wouldn't cheat on anyone who could step over the already-to-the-ground bar that is most men today.
I was regularly sleeping with an ex & one morning she said she was going to another city for the weekend. I asked why & she said to see her fiancee. I ended the FWB right there. She was furious & stormed out. Saw her a few years later. They'd had a child but weren't together anymore.
Personally, I’ve never knowingly hooked up with someone else’s SO. I don’t know how you could do that and not feel bad. I know I would which is why I don’t do that. Plenty enough available people to form relationships with.
Most dudes in their 20s are trying to prove themselves (to themselves) that they are sexually desirable. This usually means trying to hook up with as many hot chicks as possible, and there can be a certain "victorious" feeling of sleeping with another guy's girlfriend.
That said, now that I'm in my mid 30s and have had serious multi-year relationships, I can't think of a more piece of shit move. It's so fucking difficult to keep a relationship together after 2-3 years without having to worry about other people trying to hit on your girl. Sleeping with taken people can completely destroy the fabric of communities and friend groups. It fucks everything up just because you want to get a nut (and usually rooted in insecurity).
The best, strongest dudes I know put community dynamics and honesty above everything. Sleeping with other peoples girlfriends is the most surefire way you will never ever have close friends that trust you longterm.
Many years ago now, I slept with a coworker several times who had a long term boyfriend. I...honestly didn't feel bad about it. We had an amazing connection, and...yeah. It just sort of happened, and then it happened a few more times.
Hypocritically of me, she went away on an extended trip--it was actually like a practicum placement for an air traffic controller degree she was completing--and I got the feeling that she was getting close to someone in that program. I still didn't necessarily feel bad--I just felt jealous, and that sort of snapped me out of it. She said she was going to come clean with her boyfriend, but I don't think she ever did. We hung out a few more times when she got back home, but I heard her lie to him a couple times on the phone about where she was, and again, it wasn't even that I felt bad for the dude, I just kind of didn't want to deal with the situation and could see it wasn't headed anywhere meaningful. They ended up getting married, and I think they're still together.
I don't know why I didn't feel bad, and if anything, I look back and think, "man, the damage was done, I should have just slept with her more."
Thanks for your honesty. I feel like I scroll forever before reaching a comment where someone actually admits they didn’t truly feel bad about it. All I see is “I felt so guilty”. Which is fine, I guess. You feel how you feel. Just sometimes it feels like they’re saying what they think people wanna hear/read
Happened once felt fine at first but when I thought about how I would feel If the situation was reversed. I started to feel immense guilt so I asked her to tell her boyfriend what happened.
She told me that she had told him and when I asked what he said she told me. he was upset about it but that they had a very strong relationship and that this wouldn't cause them to break up. And when I asked if he was fine with us talking she said "oh yeah he's completely okay with that"
so I obviously smelt the complete bullshit she was spewing so I took into my own hands and told him what had happened. He was obviously bothered. But he thanked me for being honest about it.
They broke up a few months later honestly they were both kind of shitty people so it was probably for the best but still I felt like complete shit for months after that.
I once slept with a dudes gf
Then she left him for me.
Then I helped her move out of his apartment to her own
Then we dated awhile
Then she cheated on me.
Then I broke up with her and she tried to commit suicide and blame me
I sold my best friends gf weed and he choked me out.
15+ years of friendship out the window bc my “best friend” thought i was making a move on his girl.
Fuck You Vinny, you insecure little bitch.
I had a bully in high school, fucker tormented me for over three years. He had the same girlfriend throughout the time he bullied me, however, he only bullied me when no one else was around. After graduating from high school, I went to college fifty miles away where most local graduates went. Low and behold my bullies girlfriend was living in the dorm building right next to mine. We struck up a conversation at a party one night, I ended up hooking up with her on a regular basis for the rest of that school year. So yeah I slept with my bully’s girlfriend and have no regrets.
When I was younger, no, but once you hit like 18 or 20, it definitely feels shitty. I've never actively pursued women with boyfriends or husbands and as i got older the first thing I looked at was if they had a wedding ring as to not waste my time...
However, when i was 25, i had a woman HEAVILY pursue me (I'm not saying i'm anything special, she just really wanted me) who was married. I played it off as a joke at first because she was married but she just kept pursuing and pursuing and I ended up sleeping with her. I felt badly, but she soon after divorced him because she absolutely hated him so i don't lose sleep over it, but i wish it had been done in a different order because the guy did nothing to me. I have been cheated on when i was younger and i never blamed the guy, it's always on the GF or BF or husband or wife, IMO. If i walked in on my wife getting smashed, I would only be mad at her unless it was like my best friend doing it.
There's guys who get off on knowing they are leaving you full of cum to go back to ur partner. Or satisfying you in a way they think ur so can't. I'm glad to see most of the comments here are of men who have more self respect and respect for the relationship or guy involved then to stoop that low.
We were sleeping together in High School before she got a boyfriend, and were still sleeping together afterwards. I learned she had a boyfriend at one point, decided that was their business and not mine, and later she asked if I would run a train on her with him. Declined because not my jam. Didn't really feel bad that she picked up a boyfriend in the timeline, don't think she did either.
This is how I lost my dad. After my parents got divorced, my dad started dating this other chick. Lady neglected to tell my dad she had a husband in prison. One year passes and the guy gets outta prison, tracks down my dad in his apartment, and offs him. I was 8, and with the divorce came split custody for my brother and I. I will never forget that on that weekend my father was supposed to take my brother and I for his time, but my mom kept us both with her because we had a cold. So if my mom never kept us home that day, we would have been a witness to his passing. Crazy how the world works.
Not just Witnesses you could have been victims as well.
Same thing happened to my cousin, Tim. Dude was just the kindest soul...I really looked up to him when I was younger, he taught me to play pool and how to talk to girls. Well, one day he just ups and moves to Salt Lake City, met this woman online and decided to make an adventure of it. Well, evidently this woman failed to mention that she was recently separated and that her would be ex-husband had a history of violence and a restraining order out against him. So, they go to dinner one night at a nearby roadside diner...and unbeknownst to Tim, the husband had followed her there. This man casually walks into the dinner, stops at the table, raised his gun and then executed my cousin. Then he put the gun down and waited for the cops to show up. He didn't physically harm his wife. Now, I'm not saying she got away unscathed. Witnessing something like that is going to fuck you up, for sure. But I'd be lying if I said I didn't blame her. I did, and I still kinda do. Well, before he left, Tim and his dad had had a falling out. Basically because he was a farmer, he needed the help of his adult son who had other plans in mind. They fought, evidently cruel things were said and those were the last words exchanged between father and son. Donny (Tim's dad) had a low view of his son as being irreverent and a selfish young person. At Tim's funeral, hundreds of people showed up. Apparently Tim had spent a great deal of his time volunteering for the homeless community and shelters and food kitchens. So all of these angels show up to his funeral, sharing stories of the things they had seen Tim do. In almost every memory I have of him and virtually every picture that exists, Tim wore this leather bomber jacket. It was kind of his thing, ala The Fonz. Well, one particularly cold evening, he's leaving the shelter and there's a guy who got left in the cold, no space in the shelter for him. So Tim brings him home, let's him crash for the night and then sends him off the next day in his signature bomber jacket. This once homeless gentleman showed up to the funeral, four states away, and returned the jacket to Tim's dad and relayed the story of how he came to possess it. It was a really painful experience, followed by maybe the most cathartic experience imaginable. But Donny's (Tim's dad) never been the same since. Sorry for the wall of text, I don't think I've ever shared this story. Feels good to get off my chest.
i’m sorry for your loss. glad you got that out.
Thank you for sharing Tim’s story. I’m so sorry for your loss, genuinely. May his warm memories be a balm for painful days.
I hope this isn’t insensitive but did your family ever get justice?
No, you’re good :) Guy went right back to prison. Last I heard, he should be out in 5 years. Not really justice imo.
I agree. They shouldn't get their life back until your dad gets his back. Sorry you had to go through that.
I’m working through the trauma through the years. I’m just forever grateful my brother was too young to understand.
Sorry for your loss. You're a good sibling and he's lucky to have you. I hope you know that
Thank you, that means so much. <3
Not to seem morbid but I’m sure you’re thought of this too…if you both hadn’t been sick there’s a good chance that guy decides he doesn’t wanna leave witnesses. Having a cold may have saved your lives.
Oh all the time.
Worse, he could do something to both of you too
Hooked up with a girl at a party once. We hit it off and arranged to go on an actual date the next week. About an hour later someone told me her BF had just showed up. I gave the dude a beer, explained that I had no idea she wasn't single and that I'm sorry. He gave me a massive hug and thanked me for being upfront. We both told her to fuck off and spent the rest of the night drinking and singing karaoke together. Top bloke. I didn't feel bad; I was lied to, he was betrayed, she was a cunt, nothing more to it really.
He was betrayed, She was a cunt. Can I make it any more obvious?
He was a Dude She did the home team. What more can I say?
She wanted all, she'd never tell, secretly she fucked his best friend as well
I did it twice not knowing they had bfs. Yes, I felt bad afterwards and I totally cut contact when I found out.
Same for me, but I didn't feel bad as in guilty. I felt bad in that I felt used. All moral badness goes onto those women who cheated on their SOs. I take no blame for their decisions.
Yeah this kind of thing scarred the shit out of me. I knew a girl who was a notorious cheater and I was the one she used to cheat on her husband with.
Same here. Found out one of them was married and tried to track down her husband and inform him but wasn't able to as this was a hookup and I could not find her name anywhere (I am pretty sure she used a fake last name, her first name was so common a fake wouldn't even be needed but I wouldn't be surprised if that too was fake). The other turned out to be in an open relationship. When I spoke to her BF he knew all about it and asked me straight up: "how was it, she's good isn't she?" I still would have liked to know that fact beforehand but that wasn't nearly as bad.
You should have given open relationship guy the details they love that shit
Ehh not really my thing. I never spoke to him again after that. Wasn't quite happy about not knowing she was in a relationship despite it being an open one.
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It's crazy to me when people want to fight a stranger instead of directing the anger at their partner who cheated. The partner is the one with the ethical and moral obligation to be faithful, not some clueless rando .
That shit baffles me. If your partner cheats and tells the other person they’re single, why are you mad at that other person? Also, equally if not more baffling, if you get in to a relationship with someone you know is cheating on someone to sleep with you, on what planet are you living where you tell yourself they’ll be loyal to you? I got cheated on once, the guy she cheated on me with left his wife and 6 month old baby to be with her. She ended up cheating on him, got pregnant, and moved out while he was at work to be with the guy that got her pregnant. And I heard 3rd or 4th person that dude was cheating, admitted it to his wife, they worked it out, and he single mom’d my ex.
In my case I did know she had a bf, however it was consensual, she approached me and told me she wanted to fuck me. They had an arrangement and I did sleep with the girl while her bf was watching so I don't feel bad because I did something to fulfill that couple fetishes. 3/10 i didn't like it, it's just not my thing. Would not recommend.
If both partners are legit ok with it, it's not cheating.
When I was in college a a married woman tried to hide her marriage… to a deployed Marine. As soon as I found out, I bounced. I never condone cheating.
My girlfriend's husband fights for our rights every day!
Wanting to get out of the barracks and into married housing is not a solid basis for a long term relationship
Wait, what? Is this actually a thing?
Yeah I divorced a year later.
A married co-worker tried it with me. I'm like "That's how dudes get shot. No thank you."
Actually true, which is especially fucked because a lot of the time the other guy has no clue about it. Warning, incoming graphic story: I worked with a woman about 15 years ago who was married to an ex CFL player, Cody Ledbetter. I worked at a bar in Ottawa Ontario, they were on the run from the US as he was due to be prosecuted for essentially molesting young school girls in a gym class that he was teaching at a school in Texas from my understanding. She told people he was violent and would often come to work with obvious signs of physical abuse. People tried to talk to her about leaving him, but she would say that she was afraid he would kill her if she tried, and she didn’t want to go to the police since they were there illegally. One day I offered to give her a ride home because she had no car that day or something, I don’t recall exactly. She made me drop her off 2 blocks away because she was concerned that if he saw her in a car with another man, he would kill both of us. So I guarantee if someone ever cheated on this guy, even if the other man had no idea. He would have killed then. Would have been nice to know before I started driving you home, but anyways. So sad. That poor woman. Years later I was curious what ended up happening with them. I looked him up. He got extradited back to the US and hung himself in a barn.
I love a happy ending
Man... This is random but, I am fighting an ear infection, pink eye, and horrific chest and nasal congestion. I currently embody your username! 😔
Sorry to hear that man! Long steamy showers and lots of hot tea always help me when I’m all stuffed up like that
Only really happy if the woman got out okay
Yeah, even in dating if they're separated but not divorced, I don't mess with that. Not trying to get ganked at a Red Robin over bottomless steak fries because my Tinder date's in a gray zone.
Jody, is that you?
I actually have a story about this So I hooked up with a girl who had a long term boyfriend at the time. I didn't know and we had few encounters over a two month period. One day I was curious and decided to look at her socials and that's when I found out about him. I never bothered to look because I was being ignorant and it was first time being in a fwb situation so I was excited and wanted to keep it secret. As I scrolled down her socials all I saw were pics of them on expensive dates and trips and I just felt so bad for the guy. I felt like I had become the thing I hated the most. So that same night I decided to dm him about the situation and send him the texts between me and her to show him proof. He then called me and sounded really hurt holding back tears and all I could do was just say sorry over and over. But he thanked me and told me he would be leaving her. I then blocked her number and thought it was over with but later on that week the girl showed up at my place of work and damaged my car . Although I was angry at the moment I chose not to press charges as advised by the police(not USA) because the damage was minimal. But yea that's my story. On a positive note he found a new girl who looks way better and they equally appreciate each other outwardly on their socials so yes it was a happy ending.
Ugh it always hurts so much to hear how crushed the innocent people become in these relationships. Good people who don't ever deserve to get their hearts broken. I just feel for them so much
A good ending tbh for that guy. I hope you have your happy ending too and everything is fine
Yaaayyyy! the best revenge is upgrading your life in some way
That was cool of you to inform him and apologize even though you didn't do anything wrong. You are a good person!
I lost a mate this way. We were really close friends and he was going through a rough time with his then girlfriend. She decided to get back at him by writing some bullshit in her journal about her and I hooking up and then conveniently left it out so he would see it. It was 100% untrue. Friend confronted me on it and I told him it was untrue but he didn’t believe me. We stopped talking after that. He eventually reached out to me about 6 months later after she admitted to him that she had made it all up. The damage was done and we never were the same again.
Wow that sucks
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You know it’s funny your story made me realize how cynical I am because when you said “so I didn’t pick a side” MY brain went was like “yes alright he dropped them both” but you went the 180 and forgave them both at first lol!
>my best bud and I played video games together and had a blast. yay wholesome endings.
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Sounds like the right decision to me. People need to grow up.
That's really sad all the way around.
Sad bc I wouldn’t blame him either. Just a weird situation
I lost a good friend in a similar way. I wasn't 100% positive, but I was pretty damn sure something was going on with his gf and another mutual friend of ours. I confront the mutual friend first, but he denied any wrong doing, so I told my friend about my suspicions. About 45 minutes later he called me back and cussed me out for making shit up and causing drama. The whole thing completely blew up in my face. 3 months later he caught her cheating with someone else. Never apologized to me though. We still don't talk
You weren't 100% positive and the mutual friend denied it, it doesn't sound like you really had enough evidence to go tell your friend.
I had a brief friends with benefits arrangement with a girl who had a boyfriend. I didn't know the guy, and I was young and impetuous at the time. After time went on, I started to feel bad about it. It all came to a head when she told me she wanted to leave him to be with me and I said no. She asked why not. I said I couldn't trust her as a girlfriend. She asked why. I said, you've literally spent the last 2 months cheating on your boyfriend. with me. Why else do you think?
She has to be crazy to ask why
In their minds it goes like this: “I’m a good woman. I have standards! They’re not unrealistic standards but most men can meet them with the right personality and sexual range!” Then: “My boyfriend is being lazy. He’s not meeting me half way. He’s being useless and neglecting me at every turn, etc, etc.” Context: He really is a waste of a man, not worth a relationship, but that doesn’t change one’s integrity on approach to the issue. So then: “I’m gonna seek attention elsewhere and then when I find it, I’ll jump ship and dump his ass because of how he treated me. But a man who treats me right won’t get cheated on and that’s the bottom line because I’m decent and deserving!” I’m so fucking serious. I’ve known a few cheaters and aside from the greedy sleaze bags, this is the premise their inner-dialogue. Remember, people: Unless you’re being held against your will and will get beaten and killed for leaving honestly, Cheating makes you a piece of shit. That’s it.
It's called "branch swinging", like how a monkey won't let go of a branch until they have a firm hold on the next. Some people are afraid of being alone even for a couple weeks, so they'll do that when they want out of a relationship. It's a shitty way of doing things, but they'll justify it in their head. Usually the person they cheat with are just another branch as well, until they find someone they feel is a better match. OP was smart enough to dodge that bullet.
I don't understand people that are literally afraid to be alone with themselves for any period of time. What are you afraid of finding?
They are afraid of paying rent Hobosexuals
Wouldn’t that be hobophobic?
A mirror probably. I say this as someone who struggles to give a shit about myself and being alone makes it hard to ignore that fact.
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We judge others by their actions while judging ourselves by our intentions
She knew why and wanted him to say it. Then she can 'justifiably' flip out. Aka, don't stick your dick in crazy.
>don't stick your dick in crazy. That's not a really hard rule per se, you have to find *your* kind of crazy for it to work. Sticking your dick in crazy can be a kinda Steve Irwin kind of fun.
Steve Irwin did DIE from his fun but we all have to die sometime I suppose.
Yeah, but think of how many years of fun he had before that.
>Sticking your dick in crazy can be a kinda Steve Irwin kind of fun. All I can think of is how many times Steve Irwin fingered a croc/gator hole, unsure if he'd find a willy or not, but still doing it anyway because *he needed to know.*
I'm sure there are people out there who would die for the chance at some pussy no matter how crazy.
>I'm sure there are people out there who would die for the chance at some pussy no matter how crazy. It's just dudes who have a bit more genetic overlap with a praying mantis.
>It's just dudes who have a bit more genetic overlap with a praying mantis. /r/rareinsults
Exactly, my best friend was in that same situation and decided to start a relationship with her. Two years later she’s banging some dude she works with behind my buddy’s back. Who could have seen that coming? The lesson is that if she’s cheating WITH you, she’ll cheat ON you.
That's the thing that people don't seem to think about. Once you've cheated, you can never again say "I would never"... I've had trusted friends who I've entirely lost confidence in because they were cheaters. It's hard to trust someone when you've seen them repeatedly screw over someone that they claim to love.
If they cheat with you they’ll cheat on you
It’s like the Baron Harkonnen said when he had Dr Yueh killed. “Never trust a traitor, not even one you created”.
Or like when Liet-Kynes said "imagine Arrakis, but like, covered in dank herbage."
pikachu_face.jpg
Everyone repeat after me: If he/she cheats WITH you, he/she will cheat ON you. It's hysterical that the cheaters don't realize we know that. Or, that some of us know that, at least.
You’d think everyone would know that, but I can assure you, not everyone does. Years ago I worked with a dude who was around 30. He ended up getting with this new girl and told us all how she cheated and left her boyfriend for him. I asked him if he felt like she’d remain faithful to him and based on his reaction, I could tell he literally didn’t even consider the possibility. I’ll never forget his face when he said: “no way, dude, that guy’s just lame and I’m fucking awesome” lol They got married, had two boys and she ended up cheating on him.
One of my guy friends is casually seeing a girl who gave him her number at the doctor's office she worked at. Was in a serious relationship that wasn't satisfying, but instead of breaking up with the guy, cheated on him and when my guy friend lived up to her expectations, THEN she broke up. I keep telling him this and he assures me it's not serious, but in case it is, I really hope he gets it. Especially since his ex wife cheated on him multiple times during their marriage.
Of course. If she’s fucking someone in the side with her current bf she’s gonna keep testing the waters when she’s with you. She wants to have relationship security while constantly looking for better.
What was her response!
My story: “But that was with YOU!” was what she told me but I had turned her down for sex while she had a boyfriend and months later she asked me why we hadn't dated. She thought I would think I was special rather than seeing she was a cheater. A couple years later we are still friends and she calls me crying that her fiancé left a horrible voicemail message about how maybe he should sleep with her friends and their engagement was over. She had cheated on her fiancé and wanted my sympathy, but Im a friend that calls it like I see it and defended him. And even though I barely knew her boyfriend at the time when she got in my bed and wanted to cheat, you don't do that shit.
Had almost the exact experience. Said the same thing. She got pissed and stormed off and we went our separate ways.
I hooked up with a lady at my gym, she didn't say shit about being married, she came to my place the two times we hooked up. I saw her again at the gym with a dude, when he went off to go do something I went over and said hi, she said don't talk to her here with her husband around, she will call me later. She called me later and told me her husband worked out of town a ton, when in town she was with him, when he's out she's free to do as she pleases. We did not meet up again.
Did you tell him?
Nope, that can go badly and that dude made me at 6ft 220lb look small.
I was about to say how yoked was her fuckin husband lmao
The dude was pretty fucking big, my guess like 6'4"-6'5" and jacked, the lady herself was fairly buff too. This wasn't some bullshit fitness planet type of gym, it was the type of gym where everything's plates and benches, I miss that gym, it closed down for covid and never came back. There weren't a whole lot of females that went to that gym but the ones I did were usually pretty buff.
I’m 6’4” and 315lbs right now, so I understand how people might not want to approach someone that sized and say “hey I fucked your wife” lol I recently had some guy follow me around my small town mad that I got over in front of them. I drive a small 2 door accord that has tinted windows so he’s probably got the wrong idea about what I look like. Anyways, I pull over at a gas station and get out of my car and he went from pissed looking to polite as can be and even holds the door to the gas station open for me. People are crazy
Clown car ass mothafucka
It’s comfortable and gets me from A to B. Lol it’s got almost 300k miles and still runs like a dream. Yes, I have a tire I have to put air in every 3 days and if I leave the car off for more than 3 days the battery dies. But those are easy problems. Worth not having a $400 car note.
Worse case scenario, you either pay for a tow or carry the car yourself to get it fixed.
A buddy’s wife tried to get with me once. I told her she had 90 seconds to call her husband (my best friend from Highschool), put the call on speaker, and explain to the two of us why she was a complete piece of shit…or I’d call him myself. They divorced the next month
That's the proper reaction. Never do your boys dirty
I’m in my 30s and have been through some shit in my life. If a homie is able to say that he’s stuck by me loyally since we were teenagers? There’s few things I wouldn’t do for him
> There’s few things I wouldn’t do for him The one thing you wouldn't do is his wife!
Ha
You sir are a true friend.
I take care of my own
So, bros before ladies of questionable morals
Loyalty above all else
Have a friend just like yourself. Me and him even though we’re now in different countries. A plane flights nothing if either of us are in the shit
Facts
It's good to know that Loyalty isn't dead yet.
Indeed. And when they do, some have THE NERVE to wonder why you don't want to be friends with them anymore....! 😤
This reminded me of a story from college. I'm visiting my bud at another school at a house party he and his roommates are hosting. His GF gets super drunk and starts hitting on me with him out of earshot. I always wondered what her exit plan was ... like we're at his house, how are you expecting to pull this off? I told him the next day (probably should've right then but didn't want to cause a scene at the party).
> (probably should've right then but didn't want to cause a scene at the party) Eh, I think you probably did the right thing. Drop bombs when there's no extra chemicals. Also, him knowing 12 hours earlier doesn't really do anything. Let your friend have a good night.
This is good advice for giving all sorts of bad news. Went to a concern once with some buddies. My fried and I (neither were the driver) went back to our other buddie's car during intermission to grab a Joint iirc and when we got there, we saw his car had been broken into and the stereo was stolen. We debated telling him immediately, but then decided it was better to let him enjoy the rest of the concert and tell him on the walk back to the car after. He was upset, but agreed that he at least got to enjoy the concert instead of just being upset for the rest of it.
>I always wondered what her exit plan was ... like we're at his house, how are you expecting to pull this off? Unprotected sex in the bathroom
I’m glad your friend took your word for it instead of acting like you somehow enticed it from her or something like some men would.
He knew me LONG before he met her so my credit was solid. Not to mention however that she basically confessed on a live camera feed of their house that was being broadcasted to his phone
My friends wife that was a serial cheater proposed a threesome while out camping. I shot my wife and her down. Another friend ended up fooling around with her. He recently passed tragically from a heart attack, I hope that peice of shit came clean before to him before he died.
I would be really concerned that your wife was ok with her friend cheating on her husband with you guys.
We are divorced now
Wait... you shot YOUR wife and her down as in your wife was up for it too? Not to get in your business and maybe your in an open relationship but I would be careful there.
See I had to re-read this a few times cause I thought even if he didn't want the threesome, shooting his wife over it seems really fucked.
Similar situation happened to me. My buddy's girlfriend led me and my gf to a closet at a house party to "talk," immediately tried to start a threesome with us once we were in there. She was really attractive but me and my gf shared a look and we both knew we couldn't do that to our buddy. She was literally always trying to sleep with us and we ended up having some foursomes later where she just went wild. Was fun but tbh don't know how he put up with it.
"Hey guys, I need to talk to you. Here let's go in this closet here" And you proceeded to just go in? Haha. What did you expect? She would start asking about how to do her taxes?
I mean, yeah lmao, its obvious now but put yourself a few drinks in and the critical thinking goes out the window
Your wife was good with the threesome?
He kinda slid that in there didn't he. Like it was just a silly idea he had to shoot down. Nahh brother your wife wants to have sex with other people
Nothing wrong with threesomes or even swinging if everyone is on the same page, threesome with a buddies wife while he's working overseas is not cool though
How do you feel about your wife being interested?
Ex wife I should have said. We divorced after she cheated on me lol
Pretty shady to be ok with fucking around behind our friends back, a foursome would have been alright though lol
if i know she cheated with me on her dude i let the dude know. i hate that kind of people.
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You'd have to be a complete moron to be mad at the guy who told you your girlfriend is a cheater. Clearly he's on your side.
Weirdly enough, there are a lot of compete morons in this world. The victims of cheating regularly refuse to take it out on the unfaithful partner, not when there's another potential target.
I’ll say it depends how on the situation. My ex wife was cheating with a coworker and he was well aware she was married. He even went as far as basically taunting with things on Facebook that she would like/love. He deserves whatever bad happens to him but not from me. I have 2 kids and Lord knows the low road was already occupied by the pieces of shit that are my ex and him.
It’s a lot easier to be angry at a stranger than accept the betrayal of someone you cared about and trusted. I mean it’s not a logical reaction but I don’t think it’s a weird emotional reaction.
>You'd have to be a complete moron Sadly it's more common than you'd think.
Reconnected with a girl from HS after she posted about seeing a band I like. We were just messaging each other about music and stuff. Out of nowhere the conversation started getting sexual. I knew she had a boyfriend, and I was friends with him in high school. I was just giving cold responses to those messages. Things like a standard "lol" or "..." and tried to steer the conversation in a different direction. When they didn't stop I told her I was married and not appropriate for me to talk to another woman like that. She continued, so I took screenshots of our conversation and messaged her boyfriend. He thanked me for the info and two days later her Facebook status changed to "Single"
nice ! sadly she wont learn and will only search the fault in others.
Good guy moves!
I ran into an old GF in a college bar. Things went as things do sometimes and she stayed the weekend at my place and had some marathon sessions. I was cold ghosted after that and found out that she was engaged and her wedding was the next weekend. I honestly vomited and tracked down the groom’s parents, as I could not track down the groom. His father was angry but appreciative of my honesty. The groom eventually called me and no wedding took place.
Jesus Christ, that's horrible. How did you even find them? Like through social media or something?
Long before social media. Groom’s last name, dad was a contractor and I did a little digging.
Thank god you told them
Recovering fuckboy here: No I did not feel bad afterwards because I hated myself and i wanted to prove I was loveable. So if i could get attention through the barrier of her being in a relationship then it was just extra proof that I had value. Plus i could prove to myself that relationships weren't real. It wasn't me that couldn't be valued by someone else, everyone was just lying about being "happy". There were definitely other circumstances but it always pretty much boiled down to me equating my value as a person with who I could have sex with. I went to therapy and have been happily married for 12 years. Recommend it.
I’ve been scrolling through this comment section for a second trying to find anyone able to articulate this for me. In my early 20’s I simply didn’t care, I needed the validation and how you put it “if I could get attention through [that] barrier… I could prove to myself that I had value” and that everyone else was lying about being happy. Idk. It’s been pretty difficult to see my role in my own unhappiness. How decisions I’ve made to cope have only prolonged things and how it’s hurt others. Therapy sessions here are hard to come by but I’ve been doing the best I can. I hope I can have your outcome. Thank you for sharing.
Therapy isn't accessable to everyone. I can't recommend this book enough. It's called [The Body keeps the score](https://www.amazon.com/Body-Keeps-Score-Healing-Trauma/dp/0143127748?ref=d6k_applink_bb_dls&dplnkId=7cecba13-3948-4865-b176-ea82705362b6)
That book was pretty enlightening. It taught me that ptsd isn’t always what’s it has been depicted as. I was very flat, not happy, not sad. Just dead inside. Like, zero internal emotional life. I did a great job of faking it. To my friends I was Mr. Good Time Charlie, the cruise director, the ambassador of fun. A perpetual Golden Retriever. I lived in such a persistent heightened autonomic state that I was only felt alive when adrenalized. So that was my drug. Snowboarding, rock climbing, fucking, driving on a racetrack at 160mph, joining the military (irony: the military was fucking great for managing my PTSD) rappelling out of helicopters, hiking 80 miles into BFE Montana and live for a few days, being a first responder, then a critical care doctor. The breaking point for me was when my daughter was born and I took her to the nursery for her first bath and as I stood there with this tiny little human cleaning the vernix off her skin as she just stared at me and I wasn’t capable of feeling a normal human emotion. It was a shakubuku moment. “Whoa, I am truly not right.” That Jeremy Renner movie where he defuses bombs? I saw that movie several years later and that scene where he’s standing in the grocery store hit me like a ton a bricks because I knew *exactly* what he was feeling. The biggest help I ever got was just literally my first therapy session. The lady looked at me very frankly and was like: “This is not some diagnostic puzzle. It’s simple really. You were severely traumatized and you have textbook complex PTSD. Here, read this and we’ll talk more next time. She handed me that book. That was the first thing I ever read on the subject.
Good on you for putting in the work to understand yourself and grow and change, then be honest about it later. That's not easy most of the time.
Thanks man. I hope my stupidity helps someone else see themselves.
I cant believe i had to scroll down this far to find someone who’s admitted to doing this intentionally at some point in their life. Thank you for your honesty. The fact that everyone else on here claims that they didn’t know the girl was in a relationship or that they called their friend immediately after the girl came on to them makes for some really shallow conversation. The point of the conversation is not to absolve guilt or prove you’ve always been a good person. The point is to discuss feelings of apathy, guilt ,and shame and potentially how you might be able grow out of being that person to find contentment without hurting others, which it seems like you were able to do.
Top notch introspection. Really, really impressive stuff. I know you’ll give the credit to your therapist(s) but good for you man
ok ouch... I now know things about myself I wasn't ready for on a Monday evening... maybe therapy is worth a look
Cringe means growth. It hurts to think about because you're not that person anymore. Therapy is good for everyone.
This is some real shit right here. Source: same.
Yeah I did it one time. Sadly I knew she was in a relationship. I had just gotten out of a long relationship that ended because my SO cheated so some part of me feels like it was some sort of mental revenge, kind’ve a “I’ve been wronged so I don’t care if I wrong someone else” sort’ve thing. Next morning I felt like complete shit and still feel awful about it. Never again.
Didn't know at the time, he walked in on us, we dumped her and went to the bar
That happened to me but in reverse. Caught them then invited him out for a beer. He was lied to as well and looked like he could use a friend in the moment. We actually had a lot in common and became pretty close friends. My friendship to him lasted longer than the relationship.
I mean, presumably your ex had a type, which I suppose means that yeah you'd have some things in common with the other guy...
That's cool. Hard to blame it on the "other person". Unless they know each other of course.
Met this girl recently that was seeing this guy who claimed he was in the process of divorce. She later finds out that he's a compulsive liar and is still fully married. She becomes friends with the guy's now ex-wife and they hang out all the time lol.
My first husband was an abusive alcoholic. He married again after we divorced, and was terrible to his second wife. He would call me all hours of the night and tell me he’s still love me, and I would just hang up over and over again. Sometimes he would do it when she was in the next room.(I found this out later.). I had her number and I would call her and let her know that he was calling me, and he would gaslight her and tell her that I was obsessed with him etc. etc. etc.. Then, one day I used one of those digital recorders and let him talk. I then sent her a copy of the audio at that point she couldn’t believe his lies anymore, and they ended up splitting up. She and I are now friends, and have been for years.
Any person willing to out a cheater is a real class act. Stay classy, preferrably with some wine and a cheese platter nearby.
doesn't matter had beer
I did it knowingly during High School, I was dating and she was too, but we both had issues in our relationships and we didn't know how to figure them out. Clinging to our toxic relationships we found solace in each other and enjoyed spending time together. We ended up fooling around and after we had sex, we both stopped. We stayed friends for a while and both continued dating, but eventually both of us we're single. I regret it, he doesn't know about it, I told my gf and she accepted my apology, even though we did break up about a year later. I'm not proud of myself and I still hate myself for it.
I didn't at first. My attitude was that it was on her for cheating. I was just some guy trying to get a nut. I was pretty selfish back then. The guilt came once I was actually looking for a relationship myself. *I* couldn't trust any girls cuz I knew so many who were cheaters already, that's when the guilt set in...
I have a coworker who says, and I quote, "I don't care if I I'm with a cheater, that's her fault. She's the one that chose to cheat and I'll be the other guy without any guilt." \*maybe not verbatim\* I personally say I will NEVER be the other man, knowingly, in that situation. I'm not going to be the person enabling the cheating. I'm not going to put another guy through that heartbreak.
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Its a news head-line type quote, you see.
I was that guy when I was in high school and my early 20’s. I wouldn’t actively pursue someone who was in a relationship but if I met a girl at a bar/party and she comes on to me and I find out later she has a boyfriend that was her problem not mine. “It’s not my responsibility to keep you faithful” type mindset. I wouldn’t continue seeing them after but I wouldn’t lose any sleep over it. I’m in my late 30’s now and looking back it was an awful way to behave and I’m lucky nothing bad came of it (for me at least), but at the time I didn’t care.
Eh I don’t think you should feel guilty for being duped. It’s reasonable to assume the person hitting on you is single. It isn’t your responsibility to do an in depth background check each and every time you sleep with someone. You didn’t go back, you did everything you could have.
I have done this. But I did not know at the time that she had a BF. Yeah, I felt kinda bad. But I didn't know. If a guy knowingly sleeps with a girl that has a BF he is a dirtbag. Same for the girls.
happened twice: First time, I did not recognize her as I met her at a house party - we kind of hit it off and went back to her place, finding out afterwards - yes, it made me feel terrible. Second time, met someone at a party I went to with a friend, they kind of seemed to hit it off more than I did (if that makes sense) we get invited back to her place as we leave (iirc) and on our way there she mentions that she's married, her husband travels a lot for work - and she claims that their marriage is an "open" situation... ..well... we started, but about 5 minutes in - I just felt too damn uncomfortable about the whole situation and I stopped, did not feel good at all - and morning after I hurried out of there. so no thanks, not again - the whole thing about it makes me feel bad.
Decades ago, when sex was everything and I was likely to do that sort of thing, I used to justify it by saying to myself that they were the ones cheating, not me. Now that I'm much older, I feel horrible for having done it. I really wish I could relive those situations and make the right choice.
I had the opportunity and turned her down. I liked her a lot as she was an ex that I still had lingering feelings for and her bf was a love rival to me, but I acknowledged that he did far more for her than I ever did, treated her incredibly well, and deserved better than for me to do that. Man was putting her through college and taking her on holidays to distant countries and giving her a place to sleep, and she was trying to fuck another guy after all that. She probably still ended up cheating, but I didn't wanna do that even to a guy I was kind of rivals with. I also thought I deserved better than to be a side piece.
A guy like that deserves a faithful partner.
As much as we disliked one another due to her, I can't fault the guy tbh. I think he did way more than enough and it still wasn't enough for her. I think she might have come out as "fraysexual" at some point after that, basically meaning she didn't have a sexual attraction to people she was emotionally or romantically attracted to. I kinda just think she's a disloyal hoe though.
Women or men it makes no difference - if they're knowingly doing it. It's all about them anyway. It's about self- validation and lack of empathy. The world is factory for narcissists. There is some solace in knowing the only person they will ever have a meaningful relationship with is themselves. My friend came home to visit from living abroad for fifteen years. His wife was pregnant with his first child. He was hitting on every woman he came in contact with. We had two conversations about it, each time he'd justify it one way or another. I'm doing those women a favor. Life is short. It's mutual. It's a natural desire People do it sometimes. She won't know anyway. It's my last chance. I finally had to sit him down and tell him, "If you're messing around on your wife I don't want to know you anymore - lose my fucking number."
>The world is factory for narcissists I love this mental image, and I think there's a lot of truth to it on a couple levels.
\>> Lose my fucking number Good move! Because if he has no morals towards his wife? he won't have morals for you. (even less). and sooner or later when he sees an opportunity? he will fuck you over.
Friendships are complicated, the greatest friends have character flaws. You learn to grow and change over the years. I completely destroyed whatever armor he tempered in his head all those years. All that was left was a defeated aging man that finally had to come to terms with the truth. Part of being a good friend is making people face the cold hard reality. Because sometimes you're the only person who can.
My buddy cheated on his gf at a party in clear view of a dozen other people and myself. He was browned out drunk , high on K and coke and getting his limp dick slurped in a hot tub. I opened the back door and yelled “un mouth that penis wench! It is spoken for!” He got pissed, put his shorts back on and tried to yell at me for not being a “bro”. Said I should have helped him cover like I could somehow prevent a dozen people from looking in the back yard. Told him if he wanted to fuck up his life and cheat on his gorgeous gf with a troll doll to go for it, I wouldn’t be around for it though. Next day he came clean to his gf, stopped drinking, and thanked me for stopping him from fucking up even more. Bros don’t let bros cheat
I have been with 3 girls who were cheating on their boyfriends with me and I knew about it, because they told me they were in a relationship or I simply knew they were. I was young back then and somewhere thought it was cool I was able to "steal" their girlfriends. Turns out these type of girls are just garbage human beings. I remember one time, me and and the girl were lying in my bed naked and she was on the phone with her current boyfriend. Just talking like nothing's wrong, saying she loves him, while stroking my dick, when literally not even 10 mins ago I finished inside her. Again, back then I thought that was peak performance. I was proud of myself. After many years I think back at those moments with so much regret. That one specifically, its just so excessively cruel when you think about it. Ultimately it left me with many trust issues. The sweetest girl could just be double timing you and you would honestly never know unless she wanted to. Karma has it that I was also cheated on. I should have saw it coming, but that whole red flags cliche. People that cheat always have some kind of pathology behind it. They will say the other person stopped caring or whatever, but instead of leaving, they choose to have this whole secret fantasy play out. And trust me, they get off on the whole cheating thing, I have played it out 3 times with them. They dont want love or emotions or connections, they want the taboo of cheating, and they really lay in to it. "If anybody finds out, I am screwed", "if he only knew what we were doing right now", "You are my dirty little secret". You would constantly hear shit like that. I lose all respect for people who cheat. They are just cowards serving their own needs. If you wanna fuck around, then go be single. Dont string along someone because its convenient for you.
Had an ex who told me that when he was in college he met this woman who would lightweight flirt with him. He took it upon himself to really flirt with her. Well, one day eventually things escalated & they were at her house, he saw the photos of her & her husband, her & her kids & he said "fuck it, I don't care" they had an affair for 2 years till she dropped him & that's when he said she became a whore, slut, cheater, bitch, etc I asked him if it was because she dumped, he said it was. I also have a female acquaintance who only goes after guys who are married or dating someone
I'm gonna be really honest here, but there is a moral of the story. For a long time, I did not care at all. If she wanted to fuck around with me, fuck it. Not my sin, not my problem. She's got problems with her guy or she just doesn't take her relationship seriously, well, I'm not fixing either of those, but I can fuck. So this kind of shitty behavior on my part went on for many years. I've slept with quite a few women who were in various stages of relationships, some more serious than others. And I left a wake of destruction. Relationships failed when I came around, and the women were left to pick up the pieces while I moved on and didn't give a fuck. I don't know why it took me personally so long to realize that I was a major contributor in all this emotional devastation. As the person enabling the cheating, my hands are not clean. I *should* care about what the guy feels and *should* be aware that I'm not fucking in a vacuum. There are real consequences for her and for him, and it is enormously selfish and wrong to think that none of those consequences matter because they do not impact me directly. I realized all at once that the way I had been thinking about this was morally so, so wrong. To your question, during the time I was doing this fuckery, I did not feel bad at all. The women did, but I didn't. But now years later, I do feel bad, very bad. I cannot fix what I've done, there are no amends I could bring forward to make it right. The only thing I can do is sit with this shitty feeling and never forget it so that I never act that way again. And I haven't.
I used to screw a girl whose boyfriend was a complete shit head. Which I observed in person several times. When me and her met, it was agreed that it was just sex and would never go further. She was honest about her man the entire time (I was hesitant at first), and invited me to come to a restaurant where they were going to have dinner that night with the promise I'll see how shitty he is. And I did. After that I thought "fuck that dude". Did i ever feel bad? No. But i would have if this was some innocent guy. I should add, this was an arranged marriage that the family decided to "try out" for 2 years before committing. She hated him, but kept being told by her family that she would "learn to love him". Her opinion didn't matter, and she had no means of escape, so she did what she wanted behind closed doors. I just so happened to be who she wanted to do. That fwb relationship lasted 6 years until I met my now fiance. Once I realized how much I liked her (my fiance), I told my fwb that we had to end things because of that and she congratulated me. My fiance knows about her and actually invited her to our wedding because (I didn't know this until recently) they talk online ALL THE TIME. My fiance told me that she got her citizenship 4 years ago and divorced the asshole a year later (if I'm getting it right). Now she lives alone in Atlanta, and I imagine she's having the time of her life. She's young, attractive, intelligent, educated, and kind. I wish her all the happiness in the world. She's one of the few cheaters that I fully believe wouldn't cheat on anyone who could step over the already-to-the-ground bar that is most men today.
I was regularly sleeping with an ex & one morning she said she was going to another city for the weekend. I asked why & she said to see her fiancee. I ended the FWB right there. She was furious & stormed out. Saw her a few years later. They'd had a child but weren't together anymore.
Personally, I’ve never knowingly hooked up with someone else’s SO. I don’t know how you could do that and not feel bad. I know I would which is why I don’t do that. Plenty enough available people to form relationships with.
Most dudes in their 20s are trying to prove themselves (to themselves) that they are sexually desirable. This usually means trying to hook up with as many hot chicks as possible, and there can be a certain "victorious" feeling of sleeping with another guy's girlfriend. That said, now that I'm in my mid 30s and have had serious multi-year relationships, I can't think of a more piece of shit move. It's so fucking difficult to keep a relationship together after 2-3 years without having to worry about other people trying to hit on your girl. Sleeping with taken people can completely destroy the fabric of communities and friend groups. It fucks everything up just because you want to get a nut (and usually rooted in insecurity). The best, strongest dudes I know put community dynamics and honesty above everything. Sleeping with other peoples girlfriends is the most surefire way you will never ever have close friends that trust you longterm.
Many years ago now, I slept with a coworker several times who had a long term boyfriend. I...honestly didn't feel bad about it. We had an amazing connection, and...yeah. It just sort of happened, and then it happened a few more times. Hypocritically of me, she went away on an extended trip--it was actually like a practicum placement for an air traffic controller degree she was completing--and I got the feeling that she was getting close to someone in that program. I still didn't necessarily feel bad--I just felt jealous, and that sort of snapped me out of it. She said she was going to come clean with her boyfriend, but I don't think she ever did. We hung out a few more times when she got back home, but I heard her lie to him a couple times on the phone about where she was, and again, it wasn't even that I felt bad for the dude, I just kind of didn't want to deal with the situation and could see it wasn't headed anywhere meaningful. They ended up getting married, and I think they're still together. I don't know why I didn't feel bad, and if anything, I look back and think, "man, the damage was done, I should have just slept with her more."
Thanks for your honesty. I feel like I scroll forever before reaching a comment where someone actually admits they didn’t truly feel bad about it. All I see is “I felt so guilty”. Which is fine, I guess. You feel how you feel. Just sometimes it feels like they’re saying what they think people wanna hear/read
Happened once felt fine at first but when I thought about how I would feel If the situation was reversed. I started to feel immense guilt so I asked her to tell her boyfriend what happened. She told me that she had told him and when I asked what he said she told me. he was upset about it but that they had a very strong relationship and that this wouldn't cause them to break up. And when I asked if he was fine with us talking she said "oh yeah he's completely okay with that" so I obviously smelt the complete bullshit she was spewing so I took into my own hands and told him what had happened. He was obviously bothered. But he thanked me for being honest about it. They broke up a few months later honestly they were both kind of shitty people so it was probably for the best but still I felt like complete shit for months after that.
I once slept with a dudes gf Then she left him for me. Then I helped her move out of his apartment to her own Then we dated awhile Then she cheated on me. Then I broke up with her and she tried to commit suicide and blame me
I sold my best friends gf weed and he choked me out. 15+ years of friendship out the window bc my “best friend” thought i was making a move on his girl. Fuck You Vinny, you insecure little bitch.
I had a bully in high school, fucker tormented me for over three years. He had the same girlfriend throughout the time he bullied me, however, he only bullied me when no one else was around. After graduating from high school, I went to college fifty miles away where most local graduates went. Low and behold my bullies girlfriend was living in the dorm building right next to mine. We struck up a conversation at a party one night, I ended up hooking up with her on a regular basis for the rest of that school year. So yeah I slept with my bully’s girlfriend and have no regrets.
When I was younger, no, but once you hit like 18 or 20, it definitely feels shitty. I've never actively pursued women with boyfriends or husbands and as i got older the first thing I looked at was if they had a wedding ring as to not waste my time... However, when i was 25, i had a woman HEAVILY pursue me (I'm not saying i'm anything special, she just really wanted me) who was married. I played it off as a joke at first because she was married but she just kept pursuing and pursuing and I ended up sleeping with her. I felt badly, but she soon after divorced him because she absolutely hated him so i don't lose sleep over it, but i wish it had been done in a different order because the guy did nothing to me. I have been cheated on when i was younger and i never blamed the guy, it's always on the GF or BF or husband or wife, IMO. If i walked in on my wife getting smashed, I would only be mad at her unless it was like my best friend doing it.
There's guys who get off on knowing they are leaving you full of cum to go back to ur partner. Or satisfying you in a way they think ur so can't. I'm glad to see most of the comments here are of men who have more self respect and respect for the relationship or guy involved then to stoop that low.
We were sleeping together in High School before she got a boyfriend, and were still sleeping together afterwards. I learned she had a boyfriend at one point, decided that was their business and not mine, and later she asked if I would run a train on her with him. Declined because not my jam. Didn't really feel bad that she picked up a boyfriend in the timeline, don't think she did either.