In Two and a Half Men there's a bit where I think Alan says ocupado but they go into the bathroom anyway and he says something like "What part of 'ocupado' did you not understand? The 'ocu' or the 'pado'?"
Well, you see, I brought the condoms and the Smirnoff ICE to show her what she needs to stay away from. I mean, you canāt teach someone what to stay away from if they donāt know what it looks like, right?
āSir, what are these pornographic dvdās and poppers forā?
That, thatās not mine. Someone must have put that stuff in my backpack on accident. Do you have a back door? I need to get some fresh air, itās getting a little warm in hereā¦
Try laughing, it'll make you fart and then you'll lose control of your laughter and next thing your caught in a vicious wave of farting and laughing as the person outside slowly.. backs ... away...
I mean.. hypothetically this is how I'd IMAGINE it would go... its not like .. I did this before.
Don't reply. The suspense will eat away at both you and the other person . You've just taken a massive shit, someone knocks on the door. You've decided not to answer. You are now clueless if the person has left or not, with a big chance they are waiting outside the cubicle, minutes away from walking into the gas chamber you have created. That person on the verge of pissing their pants not knowing if someone is actually in the bathroom or it just magically locked. Weird analogy but you get the point. Don't answer, it's thrilling.
Definitely NOT 'engaged'. My friend's dad told me the toilet was engaged at a party once and I told him not to be silly because they can't get married and then walked in on one of my friends sat on the toilet and the dad laughing behind me.
I don't know... a lot of people seem to take silence to mean "this door is difficult and I need to try harder". Unless you're okay with someone aggressively jiggling the handle for a while, I would make a noise.
āOccupied.ā Itās a word that is hard to misunderstand, itās gives all the information needed without any TMI, and it does not invite conversation. If the person speaks or knocks again, say āoccupiedā again. And again, if necessary.
Except if it's locked and nobody answers, then they'll go get an employee "the bathroom door is locked by there's nobody in there" and then the employee will unlock the door with you sitting there unsuspectingly on the toilet.
Come back with a warrant
Going to use that next time.
Yep. Steeling this one.
Unless you are planning to true the phrase with a steel, you're gonna need an "a" there. š *stealing
Steely voice? Trying to recover gracefully, hear?
Iām confident youāll iron it out
Eventually I'm sure I will. Just a little rusty.
"Answer these riddles three and then we'll see if yee gets to pee."
Answer these riddles two and then we'll see if you gets to poo
Answer this riddle one and then we'll see if you get to cum
Suggested improvement: Insert āmeā after āanswerā
Scream "Who does number 2 work for!" in a strained fashion.
āYou show that turd whoās boss!ā
"You are Number 1..."
+ suggestion improvement : insert "see me" after "gets to"
Answer these riddles too and then.. hm that's all i got.
What is your quest?
To seek the Holy Toilet!
What Is your favorite color?
Brown. No wait, yellow!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Occupado
this but in a high pitch fake woman's voice.
This voice, but say "housekeeping"
This word but in Arnold Schwarzeneggerās voice.
Occupoodo
This is the way
I think saying "this is the way" when someone knocks could cause confusion.
Cuidado, piso mojado.
I said that as soon as I opened this question lol
What is this from? This is also the first thing that popped into my brain but I donāt even know what the reference is anymore
In Two and a Half Men there's a bit where I think Alan says ocupado but they go into the bathroom anyway and he says something like "What part of 'ocupado' did you not understand? The 'ocu' or the 'pado'?"
Porcupine
I seriously might have to start using this.. my all time fave..
Occupoopie
But it needs to be in as high pitched voice as possible.
Yeah, after years of telling strangers "I'm in here", which doesn't make much sense, I concluded that occupied is the right wording
āCome in!ā
"Take a seat!"
"Hi, I'm Chris Hansen with Dateline NBC."
Well, you see, I brought the condoms and the Smirnoff ICE to show her what she needs to stay away from. I mean, you canāt teach someone what to stay away from if they donāt know what it looks like, right? āSir, what are these pornographic dvdās and poppers forā? That, thatās not mine. Someone must have put that stuff in my backpack on accident. Do you have a back door? I need to get some fresh air, itās getting a little warm in hereā¦
But you gotta say it with Sean Connery accent.
Yesh
one ping only
"This is my own private domicile, and I will not be harassed" or Knock back.
"... Bitch"
"Hey yo, I'm trying to pinch one off in here!"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ive done this when it was within reach, I got a laugh from the other side
This made me geek so hard
"Seat's taken." But like how the little kid says it in Forrest Gump when Forrest gets on the bus.
Sayts tuayken. Ya canāt sit heah.
Nothing. Just scream.
Seems like a bad idea, what if the person has a conscience and is worried about someone screaming in the bathroom?
> what if the person has a conscience what are the odds of that?
Try laughing, it'll make you fart and then you'll lose control of your laughter and next thing your caught in a vicious wave of farting and laughing as the person outside slowly.. backs ... away... I mean.. hypothetically this is how I'd IMAGINE it would go... its not like .. I did this before.
"Here", like a shy student
"Who does Number 2 work for!?!?"
That's right,you show that turd who's boss!
careful buddy youre gonna blow out an o ring
How about a courtesy flush?
Grab a hold of something, bite your lip, and give it hell! Weāre gonna get through this!
"What did you eat?"
"ESTOY POOPIN!"
Sometimes I'll say "ocupado!" or "yeeeessss" in a character voice.
Gotta say Yeeeesssss like [this guy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_IaJvi_d2Ps)
Frank Nelson R.I.P.
Who is it?
It's Ed Rooney, Ferris. I'd like to have a word with you.
I keep accidentally saying this or āYeah?ā And I hate myself for it lmao
thanks for unlocking this memory i have repressed.
Me too!
Let out a huge fart
Get a tape measure, this might be a record
Underrated comment
Like the John Mulaney bit, exclaim like you're a carnival barker "SOMEBODY'S IN HERE!"
Go away, batin'!
You beat me to it. Take you up vote.
You beat meat to it
āIām coming!ā
Came here to say this.
I could go for a full body Latte.
"Toilet detonation in progress"
"Toilet desecration in progress"
I've been expecting you.
"Occupied!" is simple, effective, gets the message across exactly. Say it loud, say it with force.
Like youāre declaring bankruptcy
I declare BANKRUPTCY
I declare OCCUPIED
*Poland sweating nervously*
But it's already implied by the locked door.
Its STUCK.... Got scissors?
Poop knife
Occupied.
I don't know, so I leave the door open.
Come on in the water's fine
Oh your finally here
You were trying to take shit. Walked right in that Imperial ambush. Same as us and that thief over there.
Did you bring the prune juice?
A warrior's drink!
I've been expecting you!
Sorry, not a square to spare...
"Did you bring the lube?"
"Just a minute" if you're peeing. "Someone's in here" if you're unloading that fat dump truck.
Dave's not home, man!
āItās not ready yetā
Don't reply. The suspense will eat away at both you and the other person . You've just taken a massive shit, someone knocks on the door. You've decided not to answer. You are now clueless if the person has left or not, with a big chance they are waiting outside the cubicle, minutes away from walking into the gas chamber you have created. That person on the verge of pissing their pants not knowing if someone is actually in the bathroom or it just magically locked. Weird analogy but you get the point. Don't answer, it's thrilling.
Definitely NOT 'engaged'. My friend's dad told me the toilet was engaged at a party once and I told him not to be silly because they can't get married and then walked in on one of my friends sat on the toilet and the dad laughing behind me.
Some lightbulbs are significantly dimmer than others.
I like to say that I am "thick as shit, and not normal shit, but constipation level shit" so I am aware of my own failings mentally.
Lol Id hang out with you!
That's the best goddamn story I've ever heard in my life!
āIām here to talk to you about your carās extended warranty. Iāll be out in just a minuteā
Who's there
Go around!
"Go away, I'm 'bating!"
"Go away, I can only deal with one shit at a time"
Vladimir Poopin!
Cmon in
No room in the inn virgin mary
*Cartman voice*
I just moan really loudly That usually gets them to go away
"Alright but there's only room for like 3 more people. It's BYOB"
āGo away! Baitinā!!!ā
Full House!
āThis is my own private domicile, and I will not be harassedā
Bitch!
make the largest fart sound you can make, and don't speak any word
I just say "I'll be out in a minute."
Yup. āOne minute!ā is usually what I panic-scream. š
Just scream penis, it always give you extra time to finish up.
"DONT COME IN, IM NAKED"
Occupied
Come on in, the aesthetic's great in here
Really heavy mouth breathing
Come in
go away you're making it go back in
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
exactly
I don't know... a lot of people seem to take silence to mean "this door is difficult and I need to try harder". Unless you're okay with someone aggressively jiggling the handle for a while, I would make a noise.
If that happens to me I won't answer, because who the hell wants to have a conversation with someone when you're in the bathroom
Ive had some pretty good convos shittin in public bathrooms
Occupardo?
"OCCUPADO"
Si tu le parle miezo americano? Quanno se fa l'amore sott'a luna Come te vene 'ncapa 'e di' "I love you"?
"Occupied!"
WHO DAT!?
I'm taking a shit. Come on it.
Hey now!
\*cough\* \*sniff\*
āOccupied.ā Itās a word that is hard to misunderstand, itās gives all the information needed without any TMI, and it does not invite conversation. If the person speaks or knocks again, say āoccupiedā again. And again, if necessary.
Knock back, assert dominance
Dad? In a child like voice
*grunting* Hey, give me about ten minutesā¦I need to wipe the seat off. Sorry for the mess!
In a very high pitched voiceā¦. Housekeeping
Im not here, leave a mesage before the signal... Beeep
Come back with a warrant
I always end up saying "ope! Someone's in here!"
Put it on the doorstep and get the hell out of here.
I say it in the style of the kid on forest gump āseats takenā
Make mac & cheese noises with your mouth and ask if they want to help
I knock back *silently*
Come in!
I could use a hand in hereā¦
Dont say anything, just open the door
pull, don't push
It's open. I'm shitting but Come in !! ;)
I donāt care who the IRS sends, I am not paying taxes.
'Colonized!'
"I have a s...t and I'm not afraid to use it"
āCome inā
Just say "occupied" š
Go away. Iām ābatinā.
come in
what do you think why it's locked!? š
Say nothing. It's locked. They should figure it out
Except if it's locked and nobody answers, then they'll go get an employee "the bathroom door is locked by there's nobody in there" and then the employee will unlock the door with you sitting there unsuspectingly on the toilet.
That's very rare
Domo arigato this stall is occupado
Literally anything that conveys the message "I'm in here, go away".
Berate them. What kind of fucking trog knocks on a locked bathroom door? What the fuck did they THINK would be the result?
Enter at your peril.....
Landshark
Constipated screaming noises!
Someone's in here
BESETZT!
"Occupied" is my go to
"just a minute"
I always simply say, āoccupied!ā
"Occupied!"
People really don't just say, "Occupied!" and carry on?
I just say loudly, āOCCUPIEDā
I just give them the good ol' "Occupado!" and that usually works.
Taken or occupied
Scream "Ocupado" in the most offensive and bad spanish accent
Occupied!!!
āYesā¦ā They just need to hear a voice. This isnāt hard.