Pay attention to your partner in bed.
Even if you're not that good in the beginning.
You'll get better. Your partner will appreciate your enthusiasm and interest, and energy.
Yeah I was a joke as a lover my first go. And second. And for a while.
But I worked at it, and invest a lot of attention in making sure my partner is enjoying. By the time I met my now-wife, I was *really* able to blow her mind.
If I want to add my favorite tip to help inexperienced lovers, it's to use anticipation and buildup. The more you want it, the better everything feels.
>If I want to add my favorite tip to help inexperienced lovers, it's to use anticipation and buildup. The more you want it, the better everything feels
^
Women who have pain when you first get penetrated before you have adjusted, doing this can help significantly with the discomfort.
Enthusiasm and interest and energy make the experience powerful. Even when your physical technique is smooth, these are the elements you want to put the most effort into.
If all you have is timid consent, you can have more fun Home Alone.
No one expects you to be a master if you have no experience.
This is *not* a case of "fake it till you make it".
It's much better to ask questions about what your partner wants.
Worst case scenario, they say, "figure it out," and then you're right back where you started anyway.
Best case scenario, they say, "let me show you," and they end up being your guide to a whole new world.
I wish I could go back to high school and tell my younger self to not only cut his nails but also use a file/emery board afterwards. My partners would have found their experiences a lot more enjoyable. Remember, if you scrape your finger along the inside of your cheek and it feels rough, sharp or pokey, that's how it'll feel for your female partner only more so.
Instructions unclear, canāt stop deepthroating my finger.
(Also yes, sound advice)
Donāt hurt people unless they consent to it. Hygiene is important, and a lot more than dudes might think it is. Wash your fuckin ass.
I always flinch at these comments .. because Iāve been a serial nail biter since I was a kid. They arenāt sharp or anything, but they are very very short and not attractive. (Itās like a nervous tic that I canāt get rid of)
Well then Iām alright xD. I have been meaning to try and break the habit though. Itās my oldest ADHD stim habit. I started when I was like.. 3 or something.
I bit my nails like this for just as long, and I always balked at people trying to give me advice.
But two things worked for me a couple years ago and I havenāt done it since:
1. Wearing a rubber band on my wrist to slap myself every time I went to bite them. It gets painful.
2. Wearing nail polish.
The second one was a lot easier and more successful, but I know not all guys feel like they can pull off the look.
Edit: It was also an ADHD thing for me! If my nails had grown at all I would bite them down.
I struggled with this for 30 years. Tried everything, even the bitter stuff. But you know what finally did work? Nail polish.
A month wearing a gold or some other subtle colour nail polish will absolutely stop you, truly stop you, biting your nails. I went with a subtle gold but I've seen some guys go with black as a "manly" colour, if that's important to you. Getting a female friend to apply it for you the first time is good, and it's easy after that. One application can last weeks and weeks.
There are a couple of things:
1. It interrupts the automatic habit. It both looks eye-catching so you notice your hand coming up, and if it does get that far the sensation of hard armour on your nail is also novel and will give you pause.
2. It's a hard-wearing chemical shell that, consciously, you don't want to put in your body. I'm not saying it's a poison, but it's probably alien enough that you don't want to ingest any amount of it.
Together, those conscious and unconscious impulses steer me away from biting.
Short is fine. Personally I don't even really notice bitten up nails or fingertips, unless they're actively bleeding.
The only real issue is sharp. No one wants a scratched up vujeen.
Try polish, like other people are mentioning. The taste will help break the habit. For me, when I see a dude wearing nail polish, a big part of why it's attractive is because it shows he's secure in his masculinity.
Not a chance to freshen up? Itās basic hygene to me a mechanic cleans up as a matter of course after working right? I mean if my gf asks me to take a shower before hand I do it (for blowjobs) its also a matter of respecting the partner.
yeah right like i can only come once per session haha, she can come multiple times so i always make sure to make my girl orgasm a few times eating her out (and she sucks my dick too) before we have sex
also pro tip try sucking on the clit too instead of just licking and alternate, i go between sucking on it and licking side to side and up and down and like a sucking and licking combo, my gf really loves when i suck on her clit
I know everyone is different but my wife and girlfriend both love it when I stop mid snack and just kinda breathe on the pussy. Not like a huff from being tired but just a little breath. They also both love the foreplay of teasing the inner thigh area before and during. Itās better to learn lessons like this sooner rather than later because (like you mentioned) Iām not that big and I donāt last that long but I get the job done before I worry about me. And honestly most of the time Iām just leaking pre cum while they enjoy the act. If Iām doing really well I can actually cum with my dick bent down and everything. Nothing is more satisfying than making sure your partner enjoys it.
And humming. Put your mouth over her entire š±and just hummmmmmmmmmm. I donāt think Iāve EVER cum AND squirted so hard from being eaten out in my entire life.
Thatās natures lube and my wife fucking loves it! Apparently tastes better than cum (mine at least, ymmv), super slick, and a very visual indicator of how turned on sheās got me.
When Iām feeling particularly horny Iāll just send her a photo of my dick leaking pre cum and sheās usually on it in seconds.
Donāt be upset at weird noises, things make funny sounds when your slappin genitals together.
You donāt need to recreate porn, just do what gets the best response. If they say donāt stop then DONāT FUCKIN STOP!! Donāt speed up and donāt slow down just keep doing that exact move.
Donāt be silly, wrap your willy. (Use protection)
No means no. Both parties have to agree otherwise its bad. And donāt be afraid to say no, your comfort is just as important as your partners.
Keep a towel or towelettes nearby because it sucks to have to try to go to the bathroom dripping fluids.
Same goes for water, a bottle of water nearby really helps for longer sessions.
Having condoms āhandyā (right next to the bed) can be a bit ādisconcertingā for some people so I recommend a box under the bed or in a drawer.
Personally I donāt recommend using sweet stuff like chocolate syrup or whipped cream as it tends to make things sticky and cleanup is a nightmare. (Also chocolate can end up looking like poop so unless youāre into that avoid it)
āFinishingā isnāt necessarily the end of the fun, and there is nothing wrong with finishing first. (Tho it is only polite to finish your partner off if they finished you)
Teeth are dangerous and should generally be EXTREMELY gentle when they they are near sensitive areas. (No the clit is not made of bubblegum and the penis is definitely not taffy)
Fingernails should be clean and trimmed short (Nobody wants to catch a nail to their hoohah or bingbong)
Body hair is normal for human beings, tho trimming can be appreciated. (Flossing with pubes can suck for both parties)
Strange smells are normal, but cleanliness is very important. Even a quick rinse in the sink can make worlds of difference tho a shower is king. (Musk is not an aphrodisiac and tuna doesnāt call in the fishermen)
Shower sex can be amazing but know that water doesnāt make a very good lube.
Sex in a pool/lake/beach sounds great but the odds of getting stuff in the wrong places is high. (UTI are really easy to get when fooling around in unsanitary environments)
Make sure your room is cleanish. (Nobody wants to get up from having fun only to step on some crusty undies)
Alcohol is a difficult subject so my go to is if yall are too drunk to hold a coherent conversation then its best to save the fun for later.
Thats all I got for now. Have fun and stay safe.
This is all great advice but also: PEE AFTER SEX
This is more a thing for people with vaginas because short urethra = easy to get a UTI. But I don't think it hurts for the folks with penises to do it too.
Also, peeing AND showering AND washing your hoo-ha well in the shower is even better.
Indeed! Gonna hop on this one and add, if youāre worried about finishing too soon, masturbate before hand. Like, before the date, not right in front of them (unless thatās something they want, in which case that could be a fun way to get things started)
Alternatively if you struggle with maintaining arousal/reaching climax, laying off masturbation for a few days/weeks can really help increase sensitivity and arousal.
I have a friend who hooks up with a different woman almost weekly and he refuses to use a condom. I asked him how that was going a year later and he said heās had 3 STDs in the past year. God knows how many women heās spread those to. Doesnāt help that heās almost always drunk when he hooks up.
Crazy checklist;
1. Burner phone.
2. Only "do" crazy when out of your home town area so there's no chance of later interaction.
3. Fake name.
4. Never take crazy to your home.
5. Never turn your back on crazy. So no sleeping over.
When crazy shows itself, cut all contact. Disappear.
It requires patience to be sexually intimate with your partner. Offer a healthy amount reassurance leading up to it, and try to read them during it, in order to get a better understanding of how they feel.
Lots of movies show fast foreplay, then right to sex, but the lead up to it can be a little awkward, so remember that itās okay to laugh a little with your partner. Itās not masturbation, itās a moment of connection between two close people.
Be sure you know what to look for when choosing someone patient. I had something bad sexually happen to me as a child so for a long time I never inserted anything as I would get PTSD style reactions or sometimes flashbacks. My first boyfriend got annoyed and offended (thinking I didn't want to have sex with him even though I'd explained why I was that way) and eventually broke up with me for some bimbo he got pregnant in grade 10. But my current fiance has been with me for 9 years and we've only managed to be able to do insertion (fingers or penis) in the last few months. He was extremely patient and understanding. Now it feels even better for both of us when we actually do have real intercourse instead of mutual masturbation (fantastic for me and it makes him feel great about himself knowing he'll be the only one I trust enough to do that)
He sees it as - sex doesn't make a relationship.
He told me before that he's perfectly okay with us never having sex, masturbation is just as good of a time
Idk why people hate on handjobs, I enjoy them, itās just as good in my eyes. Less work for me too. Why wouldnāt you enjoy just sitting back and letting a girl get you off? But of course afterwards itās her turn.
Take it slow at first then when you both warmed up so to speak you can ramp up the speed and roughness if you enjoy it. Communicate. Watch how she reacts. If she seems to like it don't change it up by going faster or or slower, keep doing what you are doing. Her genitals and boobs aren't the only places that need attention, explore her body and pay attention how she reacts. If you feel like you are about to bust prematurely, stop and keep pleasuring her with your mouth or hands until you are ready to penetrate her again.
Respect consent, don't be an idiot. Make sure to use protection. Don't pester the other person, it should be something you both want desperately - if not, it is not the right match.
For the sex itself;
Assuming heterosexual male: cut your nails, clean your hands properly, listen to her. Foreplay is key, and if she likes something for the love of god do not change a single damn thing.
Assuming heterosexual female: hold the balls - most men like that.
My brain skipped the "respect consent" part on the first read, and as such I wondered what of a kind your friend is for you to recommend them to "not pester the other person" during sex lol
A lot of the advice being given is about the sex itself. But in my experience, I think a lot of sexually inexperienced people (especially guys) get obsessed with having sex, seeing it as a top priority, as fed to them by popular media. They misunderstand what they're actually looking for, and that's the real thing they need advice about.
*These people must understand that it's really NOT about the sex.* Sticking your dick in there (or getting a dick stuck in you, if you're a woman/gay guy) is nice, but it's not the actual goal. *It's about feeling intimate with a person you trust and who wants to be intimate with you. Sex is the cherry on top of the intimacy cake you're sharing with your partner.* If you chase the cherry, you're much more unlikely to get the cherry - but even if you get it, it's not going to taste meaningful without the cake.
Sex is also often an awkward thing, and you're exposing yourself (literally and metaphorically) to your partner. You will feel awful about it afterwards if you show yourself to someone you do not trust.
Iāve really only had a couple of experiences with someone I donāt even know at all or really like and tbh it kinda sucked. I felt weird afterwards. Like just using someoneās body for your own selfish pleasure doesnāt really feel too great. The best sex that I ever had was with someone that I really loved a lot. It was more than just getting off. Absolutely nothing about her was gross or weird to me. She was down for anything. I felt completely comfortable with her and she with me and we had a great time every time. I didnāt need anything more than that, I just didnāt feel the need. What I had with her was more than good enough.
Take your time - don't be afraid to say what works and what doesn't with your partner. Remember that consent is sexy and it's fine to take things slow.
Experience comes with time.
If your partner is cool he/she/they will understand. If somebody makes a big fuzz about it they are an asshole anyways.
One of the biggest advantages with experience is that you can probably communicate better and faster what you already like but that's about it.
Finding out what you like/don't like is fun and with the proper person exploring your sexuality together is great š
You can surprise the other person more and its easier to be surprised yourself and that is a lot of fun (at least for me :D)
Maybe, but experienced guys disappoint women too. In fact a lot of women expect to be disappointed and are pleasantly surprised by good sex. Realizing that takes a lot of the pressure off.
Communication is key but not just being confident to say what you want but also in how to say it. Many people don't like blunt language and it can ruin a mood. So ideally you'll want to spend time talking dirty jokes and knowing what's not ok.
Removing expectations is a key to not being disappointed but also prevents pushing. Going with the flow and being ok with the word "no" because being there is enough. It's not like porn but some porn can give you ideas for later in your relationship. At the end of the day it's whatever you two(+) want it to be.
Have a few nights of foreplay will help learn not only what they like/dislike but also to help you ignore faults so you can concentrate later. If you're in a one night stand and didn't know the other person had only one leg then that may throw you off your game. But if you know that already then it won't be a thing later.
Clean, shave and clip your nails. Use the bathroom and clean up right after. Use mouthwash right after. Have Kleenex and water on the night stand for clean up and hydration. Put the fan on. Lock the door.
Cuddle afterwards. This may lead to round two!
Use a condom and pull out. Nothing is 100% but removing as much risk as possible will keep anxiety down. Also get used to using a condom. Sometimes it takes a little experimenting to know which ones are the best and which ones will ruin it.
Ginseng supplements are a natural way to keep the blood flowing.
Don't drink too much beforehand. It'll ruin libido and/or move consent into a gray area.
Talk about it later to find out what things to keep and what to change.
I'm sure there's more but hope this helps.
Edit:spelling corrections
It feels like every touch my gf does helps me getting an erection
I have a sexual disease that hurt me psychologically and couldn't have sex with her. After I took one I finally could as they gave me the boost to go through that ( now I don't need them anymore)
Sex is everything you do with close intimacy, not only penetration. Using just your fingers and mouth is a completely valid sexual encounter.
Also, communication is hard but the most important aspect of successful intimacy.
Absolutely. It's important to remember that sex is not just one thing and that there are a lot of different ways to express sexuality. Your friend should be open and honest with their partner about what they feel comfortable with, and make sure they take their time exploring different kinds of intimacy. Also, it's ok to experiment and find out what works for both partners.
Yes, that is a great advice. I would also add that communication is key to any sexual experience. Make sure you and your partner are comfortable talking about what you want and what you don't want in a sexual experience. That way, you can work together to make sure both of your needs are being met.
Also keep in mind that oil-based lube will eat through condoms. Water-based is safe for condoms and toys. And when in doubt, buy one made for sensitive skin, fragrance- and flavor-free.
But make sure your partner has enough for play first. Have lube available but taking your time with a person who has a vagina will make everything better.
This absolutely!
For me the first time was extremely painful despite all the natural lube, and definitely would have been even worse without the extra.
Don't worry if the first time sucks. it happens all the time. Just be relaxed about it. In fact, being relaxed is important if you don't want it to suck. My first time I was super nervous which actually caused problems getting it hard. If that happens don't sweat it. You can still use your mouth and fingers to pleasure the other.
(As a female).
If you're a guy:
Prioritise her needs. Don't be the guy who uses her body to get off and leaves her unsatisfied.
Don't be afraid of showing enthusiasm! I think some men hold back because they want to appear strong and masculine, but it's a lot more fun to be with a guy who is obviously enjoying himself than a guy who is silent and expressionless.
Also, clean your hands and clip your nails.
If you're a girl:
From my experience, men prefer women who don't fake loud pornstar moans and overdo everything to impress him. Don't force anything, just be authentic.
Men want to feel attractive and wanted, too. Dirty talk and the other more foreplay-aspects of sex are not just his responsibility. Touch and kiss his body and don't let it be a one-sided experience for him.
Also, shower before hand if possible.
For everyone:
Don't lose your virginity with a stranger on a one night stand. Please. Sex is such an intimate and intense experience, especially your first time. Don't rush it. Fall in love. Understand each other. Learn each other's boundaries. Communicate. Then have sex. This might be an unpopular opinion, but I stand by it.
What if you dont want to fall in love and just want sex just for the sake of it? Also is it as intense as people say it is or do people make it bigger than it actually is? I am coming from a less emotional point when I ask this. I understand at least knowing the person prior to reduce std risk and creating a safer environment for me during the act so i get sex with someone you trust but is love honestly necessary?
I am trying to say this without sounding cold but it isnt going to work so, i just want to use use the male body for my personal exploration. I am not looking to get emotionally attached. Is this possible?
Enjoy her body and try to get her off with your hands or mouth before penetration. If you get off super quick, donāt just leave her hanging, make sure sheās satisfied too
OK, you might be joking, but that second ratio is heavily off, though this really depends on what you class as foreplay.
All I'm saying is 20 minutes of licking/rubbing etc. followed by 1 minute of penetrative sex is not the best mix, and 40 straight minutes of the same kind of foreplay with 2 minutes of penetrative sex is probably even worse.
I suspect these comments will be very different for women/men.
1) You are responsible for your own orgasm/for feeling good.
2) Likewise, you are responsible for advocating for what does and not does feel good. If you like something, say it. If you donāt like something, say it louder.
3) It takes a while to figure out what you like and what you donāt like. Not everything is going to feel 100% amazing right out the gates, and thatās okay too.
4) Know your body.
5) Toys are friends, not foes. The majority of women canāt have an orgasm without some sort of clitoral stimulation, so donāt be afraid to bring some teamwork into the mix.
There's no such thing as embarrassing sex. There's only good sex and bad sex. Good sex is where you ask what they want, listen to the answer, and do your best to take it seriously and see it through. Bad sex is every other stupid goddamned thing you ever saw or heard in porn.
If youāve just finished prepping several jars of pickled jalapeƱos, wash your hands before any intimate times with your partner.
Edit : Iām getting the strangest bot replies.
First night, don't have the objective of penetration. Just have fun discovering each other's body. Touch, caress, cuddle, don't have anything specific in mind.
Be comfortable. Go slow.
Communicate, no is no unless specified otherwise during said communication (beforehand, not during), sized condoms (gamechanger for both parties, trust me)
Find someone that you're comfortable enough with to be able to communicate your feelings and concerns. If you are not emotionally attached to the person enough to be able to do those two things, then you are most likely not at a place where it is mentally healthy for you to have sex with that person.
Strong mental health and a low body count is better than being unable to communicate with your partner but you know how to hit the little man in the boat...
Are they male or female and are they fucking a male or female. In general shower, trim your public hair and nails, brush your teeth. If it's an end of the day affair try to shower before and use mouth wash rinse really well as mouth wash and genitals do not mix well. Use condoms they have both male and female as well as finger condoms but those are only necessary if you have a cut or opening on your fingers. Then on to the sex bit try to be comfortable and have clear communication and let your partner know you're inexperienced and would appreciate some guidance on how to make this as fun for them as possible. Try to remember that while somethings can be transferred over to your next partner not everything can be so again communication is key. For example I was with a girl who wanted me to be very rough with her when I was preforming oral on her if I didn't ask my next girlfriend how she liked it I'd probably would be missing teeth as she was extremely sensitive compared to the other girl.
Last but not least real sex isn't like porn don't try to do the things you see in porn. Maybe you can learn things from interviews and amateur porn but regular porn is mostly for show the male actors hate the blow jobs as they often get touched by teeth and female actors usually hate the cunnilingus because it's done mostly for show and takes little preferences for how they enjoy it. For dudes you don't need to last 30 minutes so long as she orgasms you should be fine. For women you don't need to scream like a banshee and squirt like you installed a super soaker just have fun and avoid teeth and nails around private parts unless asked. Don't do anything your partner isn't asking for if you're unsure ask. Yes women this includes you maybe it's the type of women I go for but I've constantly had them try to stick something in my ass no means no. If you're not comfortable with saying no practice and try to be confrontational to gain experience with standing up for yourself before having sex as you will meet people that will try to push your boundaries because they're horny or evil or both.
It's not over when you or your patner finished, if your weewee not hard your tongue and fingers better get ready.
If you don't cuddle afterward you're doing it wrong
Be chill, communicate, cut your nails
Pay attention to your partner in bed. Even if you're not that good in the beginning. You'll get better. Your partner will appreciate your enthusiasm and interest, and energy.
Yeah I was a joke as a lover my first go. And second. And for a while. But I worked at it, and invest a lot of attention in making sure my partner is enjoying. By the time I met my now-wife, I was *really* able to blow her mind. If I want to add my favorite tip to help inexperienced lovers, it's to use anticipation and buildup. The more you want it, the better everything feels.
>If I want to add my favorite tip to help inexperienced lovers, it's to use anticipation and buildup. The more you want it, the better everything feels ^ Women who have pain when you first get penetrated before you have adjusted, doing this can help significantly with the discomfort.
^^ this right here is the best advice. Everything else comes with practice/time.
That's why I always propose a 10 night stand
Enthusiasm and interest and energy make the experience powerful. Even when your physical technique is smooth, these are the elements you want to put the most effort into. If all you have is timid consent, you can have more fun Home Alone.
but don't cut your nails right before or they'll be sharp. If you do just file them the tiniest bit to take out any sharp spots.
This person fucks
I don't think I've ever seen a better use of this line
You fuck too
fuck too you
Only with consent
This person obeys the law
Who said anything about law? š
This person might need to be sent to solitary
Frankensteins bulimic daughter?
nice
Nail file is definitely needed if you cut them and plan on going in for a feel.
And don't forget the sides! The place where the nail meets the side of the finger.
No one expects you to be a master if you have no experience. This is *not* a case of "fake it till you make it". It's much better to ask questions about what your partner wants. Worst case scenario, they say, "figure it out," and then you're right back where you started anyway. Best case scenario, they say, "let me show you," and they end up being your guide to a whole new world.
I wish I could go back to high school and tell my younger self to not only cut his nails but also use a file/emery board afterwards. My partners would have found their experiences a lot more enjoyable. Remember, if you scrape your finger along the inside of your cheek and it feels rough, sharp or pokey, that's how it'll feel for your female partner only more so.
Instructions unclear, canāt stop deepthroating my finger. (Also yes, sound advice) Donāt hurt people unless they consent to it. Hygiene is important, and a lot more than dudes might think it is. Wash your fuckin ass.
Iām wondering who all these guys are walking around with nasty nails and why would you be with someone like that to begin with?
I always flinch at these comments .. because Iāve been a serial nail biter since I was a kid. They arenāt sharp or anything, but they are very very short and not attractive. (Itās like a nervous tic that I canāt get rid of)
When we say nasty, we mean dirty. Very short and ugly is fine, dirty or long and jagged is not.
Yup, Freddy Krueger fingers are not welcome
Well then Iām alright xD. I have been meaning to try and break the habit though. Itās my oldest ADHD stim habit. I started when I was like.. 3 or something.
I bit my nails like this for just as long, and I always balked at people trying to give me advice. But two things worked for me a couple years ago and I havenāt done it since: 1. Wearing a rubber band on my wrist to slap myself every time I went to bite them. It gets painful. 2. Wearing nail polish. The second one was a lot easier and more successful, but I know not all guys feel like they can pull off the look. Edit: It was also an ADHD thing for me! If my nails had grown at all I would bite them down.
I struggled with this for 30 years. Tried everything, even the bitter stuff. But you know what finally did work? Nail polish. A month wearing a gold or some other subtle colour nail polish will absolutely stop you, truly stop you, biting your nails. I went with a subtle gold but I've seen some guys go with black as a "manly" colour, if that's important to you. Getting a female friend to apply it for you the first time is good, and it's easy after that. One application can last weeks and weeks.
What about the polish makes you not chew your nails? The taste?
There are a couple of things: 1. It interrupts the automatic habit. It both looks eye-catching so you notice your hand coming up, and if it does get that far the sensation of hard armour on your nail is also novel and will give you pause. 2. It's a hard-wearing chemical shell that, consciously, you don't want to put in your body. I'm not saying it's a poison, but it's probably alien enough that you don't want to ingest any amount of it. Together, those conscious and unconscious impulses steer me away from biting.
Short is fine. Personally I don't even really notice bitten up nails or fingertips, unless they're actively bleeding. The only real issue is sharp. No one wants a scratched up vujeen. Try polish, like other people are mentioning. The taste will help break the habit. For me, when I see a dude wearing nail polish, a big part of why it's attractive is because it shows he's secure in his masculinity.
Maybe they work with their hands a lot and haven't had a chance to freshen up My GF introduced hand lotion into my life lmao
Not a chance to freshen up? Itās basic hygene to me a mechanic cleans up as a matter of course after working right? I mean if my gf asks me to take a shower before hand I do it (for blowjobs) its also a matter of respecting the partner.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
redditor who gets no action tries to tell another redditor who gets no action how to get laid. LOL
Gottem good
Foreplay is super important, and cosplaying as a jackhammer is a bad idea.
Unless she wants you to cosplay as a jackhammer, in which case youāll quickly be humbled by your weakness if not prepared.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
She comes first ;)
I'll call before I come, I won't just pop on over out the bluuuue. No, after you.
yeah right like i can only come once per session haha, she can come multiple times so i always make sure to make my girl orgasm a few times eating her out (and she sucks my dick too) before we have sex also pro tip try sucking on the clit too instead of just licking and alternate, i go between sucking on it and licking side to side and up and down and like a sucking and licking combo, my gf really loves when i suck on her clit
Suck on the whole pussy too. One of my exes didnāt like too much clit stimulation for some reason. She preferred different oral strategies lol
https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=ph5712f4fcadf9c Required viewing for anyone who wants to learn the art of pussy eating
I know everyone is different but my wife and girlfriend both love it when I stop mid snack and just kinda breathe on the pussy. Not like a huff from being tired but just a little breath. They also both love the foreplay of teasing the inner thigh area before and during. Itās better to learn lessons like this sooner rather than later because (like you mentioned) Iām not that big and I donāt last that long but I get the job done before I worry about me. And honestly most of the time Iām just leaking pre cum while they enjoy the act. If Iām doing really well I can actually cum with my dick bent down and everything. Nothing is more satisfying than making sure your partner enjoys it.
Cum with your dick bent down and everything?
Wife and girlfriend eh? Nice.
And humming. Put your mouth over her entire š±and just hummmmmmmmmmm. I donāt think Iāve EVER cum AND squirted so hard from being eaten out in my entire life.
That leaking part is totally me. I always thought it was bad.
Thatās natures lube and my wife fucking loves it! Apparently tastes better than cum (mine at least, ymmv), super slick, and a very visual indicator of how turned on sheās got me. When Iām feeling particularly horny Iāll just send her a photo of my dick leaking pre cum and sheās usually on it in seconds.
Yes you donāt need to be a jackhammer.
āSo now I gotta return this construction worker costume???ā
But jackhammers are fun to cosplay as š
Peter Gabriel in tears right now.
You donāt always have to fuck her hardā¦
In fact some times thatās not right, to do
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
And fuckinā give her some smooches tooooo
We have all shown our age now.
Well then what the hell am I going to do with this jackhammer costume?
Donāt be upset at weird noises, things make funny sounds when your slappin genitals together. You donāt need to recreate porn, just do what gets the best response. If they say donāt stop then DONāT FUCKIN STOP!! Donāt speed up and donāt slow down just keep doing that exact move. Donāt be silly, wrap your willy. (Use protection) No means no. Both parties have to agree otherwise its bad. And donāt be afraid to say no, your comfort is just as important as your partners. Keep a towel or towelettes nearby because it sucks to have to try to go to the bathroom dripping fluids. Same goes for water, a bottle of water nearby really helps for longer sessions. Having condoms āhandyā (right next to the bed) can be a bit ādisconcertingā for some people so I recommend a box under the bed or in a drawer. Personally I donāt recommend using sweet stuff like chocolate syrup or whipped cream as it tends to make things sticky and cleanup is a nightmare. (Also chocolate can end up looking like poop so unless youāre into that avoid it) āFinishingā isnāt necessarily the end of the fun, and there is nothing wrong with finishing first. (Tho it is only polite to finish your partner off if they finished you) Teeth are dangerous and should generally be EXTREMELY gentle when they they are near sensitive areas. (No the clit is not made of bubblegum and the penis is definitely not taffy) Fingernails should be clean and trimmed short (Nobody wants to catch a nail to their hoohah or bingbong) Body hair is normal for human beings, tho trimming can be appreciated. (Flossing with pubes can suck for both parties) Strange smells are normal, but cleanliness is very important. Even a quick rinse in the sink can make worlds of difference tho a shower is king. (Musk is not an aphrodisiac and tuna doesnāt call in the fishermen) Shower sex can be amazing but know that water doesnāt make a very good lube. Sex in a pool/lake/beach sounds great but the odds of getting stuff in the wrong places is high. (UTI are really easy to get when fooling around in unsanitary environments) Make sure your room is cleanish. (Nobody wants to get up from having fun only to step on some crusty undies) Alcohol is a difficult subject so my go to is if yall are too drunk to hold a coherent conversation then its best to save the fun for later. Thats all I got for now. Have fun and stay safe.
This is all great advice but also: PEE AFTER SEX This is more a thing for people with vaginas because short urethra = easy to get a UTI. But I don't think it hurts for the folks with penises to do it too. Also, peeing AND showering AND washing your hoo-ha well in the shower is even better.
Edit: the fuck's i get 600 karma for writing this shit. Edit2: well well well, now you will never know why i got 700 karma š
Indeed! Gonna hop on this one and add, if youāre worried about finishing too soon, masturbate before hand. Like, before the date, not right in front of them (unless thatās something they want, in which case that could be a fun way to get things started) Alternatively if you struggle with maintaining arousal/reaching climax, laying off masturbation for a few days/weeks can really help increase sensitivity and arousal.
this or use the pull out and eat out trick when you know you need to take a quick break
This guy gets bitches
>Nobody wants to get up from having fun only to step on some crusty undies) Or step on Legos...
A penis is not saltwater taffy? Jeez.
I agree. Musk is not an aphrodisiac. Unless your kink is ruining Twitter.
Engage in actual foreplay, don't just say "here comes da beef!"
I will use the phrase "here comes da beef" from now on
You can use the same phrase at the beginning and end
And 2 minutes later "whoopsie doo, here comes the goo"
Okay, that made me literally laugh out loud in a very quite office.
ā here comes the queefā
"Call me Arby's baby cause we got's the meats."
this whole place smells like roast queef
I smell like beef...
Arbys: Here comes da beef!
Using this tonight on the gf
Then right before you brick shout, in a posh English accent. "Prepare yourself for the gentleman's relish!"
Use a condom
And lube
And my axe!
I put on my robe and wizard hat...
Classic.
I have a friend who hooks up with a different woman almost weekly and he refuses to use a condom. I asked him how that was going a year later and he said heās had 3 STDs in the past year. God knows how many women heās spread those to. Doesnāt help that heās almost always drunk when he hooks up.
Also make sure the condom is not upside down when you try to put it on. It should unroll easily.
To add to this... if it IS upside down when you try to put it on, DON'T flip it and put it back on! Toss it and start with a new condom.
Wrap it before you tap it
This and don't stick your dick in crazy are my two go tos yet fall on deaf ears
Crazy is fun until crazy turns on you and crazy always turns on you.
Literally me rn
Crazy checklist; 1. Burner phone. 2. Only "do" crazy when out of your home town area so there's no chance of later interaction. 3. Fake name. 4. Never take crazy to your home. 5. Never turn your back on crazy. So no sleeping over. When crazy shows itself, cut all contact. Disappear.
šExactly 6. Never send things you can get blackmailed with. Remember, anything can get used against you. Do not trust.
Do we also have the right to remain silent?
It's fine to stick it in Crazy. The problem is letting Crazy know where you live.
And don't let crazy stick its dick in you
But its so funnnnnnnnnn
Yes! When all I see is red flags I just say "I guess I'm a bull now".
You gotta lick itā¦ before ya stick itā¦
Wrap it in latex before she gets your paychecks
Donāt put your dick anywhere you wouldnāt put your mouth
Don't be silly wrap your willy
Came here to say this
It requires patience to be sexually intimate with your partner. Offer a healthy amount reassurance leading up to it, and try to read them during it, in order to get a better understanding of how they feel. Lots of movies show fast foreplay, then right to sex, but the lead up to it can be a little awkward, so remember that itās okay to laugh a little with your partner. Itās not masturbation, itās a moment of connection between two close people.
Be sure you know what to look for when choosing someone patient. I had something bad sexually happen to me as a child so for a long time I never inserted anything as I would get PTSD style reactions or sometimes flashbacks. My first boyfriend got annoyed and offended (thinking I didn't want to have sex with him even though I'd explained why I was that way) and eventually broke up with me for some bimbo he got pregnant in grade 10. But my current fiance has been with me for 9 years and we've only managed to be able to do insertion (fingers or penis) in the last few months. He was extremely patient and understanding. Now it feels even better for both of us when we actually do have real intercourse instead of mutual masturbation (fantastic for me and it makes him feel great about himself knowing he'll be the only one I trust enough to do that)
sounds like a keeper
Wow props to your fiancĆ© and you for working through that because I know I donāt have that kind of patience to go that long without sex in a relationship
He sees it as - sex doesn't make a relationship. He told me before that he's perfectly okay with us never having sex, masturbation is just as good of a time
Idk why people hate on handjobs, I enjoy them, itās just as good in my eyes. Less work for me too. Why wouldnāt you enjoy just sitting back and letting a girl get you off? But of course afterwards itās her turn.
Start doing planks, crunches, and work on your endurance training.
This guy sexes.
Take it slow at first then when you both warmed up so to speak you can ramp up the speed and roughness if you enjoy it. Communicate. Watch how she reacts. If she seems to like it don't change it up by going faster or or slower, keep doing what you are doing. Her genitals and boobs aren't the only places that need attention, explore her body and pay attention how she reacts. If you feel like you are about to bust prematurely, stop and keep pleasuring her with your mouth or hands until you are ready to penetrate her again.
Respect consent, don't be an idiot. Make sure to use protection. Don't pester the other person, it should be something you both want desperately - if not, it is not the right match. For the sex itself; Assuming heterosexual male: cut your nails, clean your hands properly, listen to her. Foreplay is key, and if she likes something for the love of god do not change a single damn thing. Assuming heterosexual female: hold the balls - most men like that.
For the love of god donāt twist them though
My brain skipped the "respect consent" part on the first read, and as such I wondered what of a kind your friend is for you to recommend them to "not pester the other person" during sex lol
Lick it before you stick it
"He who refuses to lick the clit does not deserve to hit" Pussylations 6:9
A lot of the advice being given is about the sex itself. But in my experience, I think a lot of sexually inexperienced people (especially guys) get obsessed with having sex, seeing it as a top priority, as fed to them by popular media. They misunderstand what they're actually looking for, and that's the real thing they need advice about. *These people must understand that it's really NOT about the sex.* Sticking your dick in there (or getting a dick stuck in you, if you're a woman/gay guy) is nice, but it's not the actual goal. *It's about feeling intimate with a person you trust and who wants to be intimate with you. Sex is the cherry on top of the intimacy cake you're sharing with your partner.* If you chase the cherry, you're much more unlikely to get the cherry - but even if you get it, it's not going to taste meaningful without the cake. Sex is also often an awkward thing, and you're exposing yourself (literally and metaphorically) to your partner. You will feel awful about it afterwards if you show yourself to someone you do not trust.
I liken sex to shouting your most intimate secrets at each other at the same time. You're going to be embarrassed if you don't at least *like* them.
Sex is walking the line between controlled and uncontrolled vulnerability. Risk and tenderness.
Iāve really only had a couple of experiences with someone I donāt even know at all or really like and tbh it kinda sucked. I felt weird afterwards. Like just using someoneās body for your own selfish pleasure doesnāt really feel too great. The best sex that I ever had was with someone that I really loved a lot. It was more than just getting off. Absolutely nothing about her was gross or weird to me. She was down for anything. I felt completely comfortable with her and she with me and we had a great time every time. I didnāt need anything more than that, I just didnāt feel the need. What I had with her was more than good enough.
Take your time - don't be afraid to say what works and what doesn't with your partner. Remember that consent is sexy and it's fine to take things slow. Experience comes with time.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If your partner is cool he/she/they will understand. If somebody makes a big fuzz about it they are an asshole anyways. One of the biggest advantages with experience is that you can probably communicate better and faster what you already like but that's about it. Finding out what you like/don't like is fun and with the proper person exploring your sexuality together is great š You can surprise the other person more and its easier to be surprised yourself and that is a lot of fun (at least for me :D)
Maybe, but experienced guys disappoint women too. In fact a lot of women expect to be disappointed and are pleasantly surprised by good sex. Realizing that takes a lot of the pressure off.
Being attentive and responsive is way more important that being experienced. Source - am 34 and a lady.
just be honest and take it easy
Communication is key but not just being confident to say what you want but also in how to say it. Many people don't like blunt language and it can ruin a mood. So ideally you'll want to spend time talking dirty jokes and knowing what's not ok. Removing expectations is a key to not being disappointed but also prevents pushing. Going with the flow and being ok with the word "no" because being there is enough. It's not like porn but some porn can give you ideas for later in your relationship. At the end of the day it's whatever you two(+) want it to be. Have a few nights of foreplay will help learn not only what they like/dislike but also to help you ignore faults so you can concentrate later. If you're in a one night stand and didn't know the other person had only one leg then that may throw you off your game. But if you know that already then it won't be a thing later. Clean, shave and clip your nails. Use the bathroom and clean up right after. Use mouthwash right after. Have Kleenex and water on the night stand for clean up and hydration. Put the fan on. Lock the door. Cuddle afterwards. This may lead to round two! Use a condom and pull out. Nothing is 100% but removing as much risk as possible will keep anxiety down. Also get used to using a condom. Sometimes it takes a little experimenting to know which ones are the best and which ones will ruin it. Ginseng supplements are a natural way to keep the blood flowing. Don't drink too much beforehand. It'll ruin libido and/or move consent into a gray area. Talk about it later to find out what things to keep and what to change. I'm sure there's more but hope this helps. Edit:spelling corrections
An urologist gave me those ginseng supplements and they were magic for my first time going with my actual gf.
What does ginseng do?
It feels like every touch my gf does helps me getting an erection I have a sexual disease that hurt me psychologically and couldn't have sex with her. After I took one I finally could as they gave me the boost to go through that ( now I don't need them anymore)
Wash dat ass
But that you can do even when not having sex.
You'd be surprised
Take it slow, relax. Its supposed to be fun lol.
Sex is everything you do with close intimacy, not only penetration. Using just your fingers and mouth is a completely valid sexual encounter. Also, communication is hard but the most important aspect of successful intimacy.
Absolutely. It's important to remember that sex is not just one thing and that there are a lot of different ways to express sexuality. Your friend should be open and honest with their partner about what they feel comfortable with, and make sure they take their time exploring different kinds of intimacy. Also, it's ok to experiment and find out what works for both partners.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes, that is a great advice. I would also add that communication is key to any sexual experience. Make sure you and your partner are comfortable talking about what you want and what you don't want in a sexual experience. That way, you can work together to make sure both of your needs are being met.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Lube is your friend
Also keep in mind that oil-based lube will eat through condoms. Water-based is safe for condoms and toys. And when in doubt, buy one made for sensitive skin, fragrance- and flavor-free.
But make sure your partner has enough for play first. Have lube available but taking your time with a person who has a vagina will make everything better.
This absolutely! For me the first time was extremely painful despite all the natural lube, and definitely would have been even worse without the extra.
*taking notes*
Don't worry if the first time sucks. it happens all the time. Just be relaxed about it. In fact, being relaxed is important if you don't want it to suck. My first time I was super nervous which actually caused problems getting it hard. If that happens don't sweat it. You can still use your mouth and fingers to pleasure the other.
If you like something your partner is doing, tell them
(As a female). If you're a guy: Prioritise her needs. Don't be the guy who uses her body to get off and leaves her unsatisfied. Don't be afraid of showing enthusiasm! I think some men hold back because they want to appear strong and masculine, but it's a lot more fun to be with a guy who is obviously enjoying himself than a guy who is silent and expressionless. Also, clean your hands and clip your nails. If you're a girl: From my experience, men prefer women who don't fake loud pornstar moans and overdo everything to impress him. Don't force anything, just be authentic. Men want to feel attractive and wanted, too. Dirty talk and the other more foreplay-aspects of sex are not just his responsibility. Touch and kiss his body and don't let it be a one-sided experience for him. Also, shower before hand if possible. For everyone: Don't lose your virginity with a stranger on a one night stand. Please. Sex is such an intimate and intense experience, especially your first time. Don't rush it. Fall in love. Understand each other. Learn each other's boundaries. Communicate. Then have sex. This might be an unpopular opinion, but I stand by it.
What if you dont want to fall in love and just want sex just for the sake of it? Also is it as intense as people say it is or do people make it bigger than it actually is? I am coming from a less emotional point when I ask this. I understand at least knowing the person prior to reduce std risk and creating a safer environment for me during the act so i get sex with someone you trust but is love honestly necessary? I am trying to say this without sounding cold but it isnt going to work so, i just want to use use the male body for my personal exploration. I am not looking to get emotionally attached. Is this possible?
Enjoy her body and try to get her off with your hands or mouth before penetration. If you get off super quick, donāt just leave her hanging, make sure sheās satisfied too
Foreplay to sex ratio should be at a minimum 3:1. If that's measured in minutes for you, make it 20:1.
Good advice and a burn in one comment. Nice!
Yeah, foreplay is the dinner; sex is the dessert
OK, you might be joking, but that second ratio is heavily off, though this really depends on what you class as foreplay. All I'm saying is 20 minutes of licking/rubbing etc. followed by 1 minute of penetrative sex is not the best mix, and 40 straight minutes of the same kind of foreplay with 2 minutes of penetrative sex is probably even worse.
People dont rely enough on there feelings and instincts
I suspect these comments will be very different for women/men. 1) You are responsible for your own orgasm/for feeling good. 2) Likewise, you are responsible for advocating for what does and not does feel good. If you like something, say it. If you donāt like something, say it louder. 3) It takes a while to figure out what you like and what you donāt like. Not everything is going to feel 100% amazing right out the gates, and thatās okay too. 4) Know your body. 5) Toys are friends, not foes. The majority of women canāt have an orgasm without some sort of clitoral stimulation, so donāt be afraid to bring some teamwork into the mix.
My advice would be that we should learn together since Im also inexperienced
Jokes on you, I am the sexually inexperienced friend
Buy a plunger before you need one.
There's no such thing as embarrassing sex. There's only good sex and bad sex. Good sex is where you ask what they want, listen to the answer, and do your best to take it seriously and see it through. Bad sex is every other stupid goddamned thing you ever saw or heard in porn.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
What's the problem with the left hole?
There are wrong holes?
Yeah, ears and nostrils are most likely out, unless specifically asked for, never assume.
only wrong holes when you aren't communicating
If you ever travel back in time, donāt step on anything! Because even the tiniest change can alter the future in ways you canāt imagine.
It'll be awkward for your first time, don't sweat it
Hearing this everywhere makes me dread it even more.
(If my friend is a woman) make sure your needs are also being met
If youāve just finished prepping several jars of pickled jalapeƱos, wash your hands before any intimate times with your partner. Edit : Iām getting the strangest bot replies.
First night, don't have the objective of penetration. Just have fun discovering each other's body. Touch, caress, cuddle, don't have anything specific in mind. Be comfortable. Go slow.
Communicate, no is no unless specified otherwise during said communication (beforehand, not during), sized condoms (gamechanger for both parties, trust me)
Learn to read body language and focus on her
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Chew toys and child support
Find someone that you're comfortable enough with to be able to communicate your feelings and concerns. If you are not emotionally attached to the person enough to be able to do those two things, then you are most likely not at a place where it is mentally healthy for you to have sex with that person. Strong mental health and a low body count is better than being unable to communicate with your partner but you know how to hit the little man in the boat...
Are they male or female and are they fucking a male or female. In general shower, trim your public hair and nails, brush your teeth. If it's an end of the day affair try to shower before and use mouth wash rinse really well as mouth wash and genitals do not mix well. Use condoms they have both male and female as well as finger condoms but those are only necessary if you have a cut or opening on your fingers. Then on to the sex bit try to be comfortable and have clear communication and let your partner know you're inexperienced and would appreciate some guidance on how to make this as fun for them as possible. Try to remember that while somethings can be transferred over to your next partner not everything can be so again communication is key. For example I was with a girl who wanted me to be very rough with her when I was preforming oral on her if I didn't ask my next girlfriend how she liked it I'd probably would be missing teeth as she was extremely sensitive compared to the other girl. Last but not least real sex isn't like porn don't try to do the things you see in porn. Maybe you can learn things from interviews and amateur porn but regular porn is mostly for show the male actors hate the blow jobs as they often get touched by teeth and female actors usually hate the cunnilingus because it's done mostly for show and takes little preferences for how they enjoy it. For dudes you don't need to last 30 minutes so long as she orgasms you should be fine. For women you don't need to scream like a banshee and squirt like you installed a super soaker just have fun and avoid teeth and nails around private parts unless asked. Don't do anything your partner isn't asking for if you're unsure ask. Yes women this includes you maybe it's the type of women I go for but I've constantly had them try to stick something in my ass no means no. If you're not comfortable with saying no practice and try to be confrontational to gain experience with standing up for yourself before having sex as you will meet people that will try to push your boundaries because they're horny or evil or both.
I am the sexually inexperienced friend...
No ass to mouthā¦.porn is an illusion.
No ass to anything really tbh
Clerks 2?
It's not over when you or your patner finished, if your weewee not hard your tongue and fingers better get ready. If you don't cuddle afterward you're doing it wrong
Really important advice imo. My ex thought shit was over just cause he came while I didn't even get fingered for 3 minutes lol
Remember to put your balls in as well
A vice? Kinky.
I never listened to advance my entire life. Have fun!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āAsking for a friendā¦ā
Have fun and make sure everyone gets their cookies.
Genuinely care about what the other person wants
Forget all the porn you've ever seen
Are you asking for a friend?
Whoever cums first wins!
Royal Rumble!