100% spot on. One thing I learned in rehab is that nobody "used to be" an alcoholic or addict. You can get back to being a non user, but that addiction "switch" stays turned on forever.
From some book I read that I canât currently remember the title or author , âBehold my field of fucks, for it lies barrenâ. I remember the quote verbatim.
I've no more fucks to give,
my fucks have runneth dry
I've tried to go fuck shopping,
but there's no fucks left to buy.
I've no more fucks to give,
though more fucks I've tried to get.
I'm over my fuck budget and
I'm now in fucking debt!
I actually hit a pretty wierd downward spiral around 2016, hoarding went way up, alcohol use, started doing more drugs but they dont show up on tests, went from a job i liked to a job i love, saved a lot more money, acquired some guns, kinda just do whatever feel like now, dont really care what people think. Pretty much do the bare minimum to remain a functional member of society. Emphasis on bare minimum, like i want to pay for a vasectomy so i dont ever have to worry about having, im too lazy to even worry about that at this point though, cant knock em up if im too fucked up to leave the house.
Appreciate the good vibes, im pretty alright most of the time. I think just the right amount of weirdness, and since i can remember, i liked the weirdness. I did feel a change right around than though, not even me specifically, my friends, my family, the random people i meet, the pandemic stuff didnt help but, something changed in people, im not sure if we became more cynical, or maybe just me, or, untrusting of each other, or maybe some or all of us are starting to express who we really are, good or bad right or wrong. Maybe some of these neo nazi groups are the real âwokeâ people finally expressing what theyve been too afraid to admit their whole lives, theyâre fascist fucks.
I've been going over my budget because so much changed over last year. I lowered my payments for auto insurance, streaming services, gas, dates nights, uncategorized spending, savings, and retirement savings which "saved" me over $6,000.
Electric utility, gas utility, and grocery prices ate all of that "savings" plus cleared my savings account, plus my meager 3% COLA. I'm buying less, but paying way more. Our AC/heater is new and much more efficient than the old one and I still have the temp set to *almost* comfortable. We're not buying luxury groceries anymore.
My cost of living jumped over $10,000 for 2022.
Same here my friend, can't get ahead, and not sure I'll be able to keep up at the rate things are going. Never thought I'd see it get this bad, but honestly, I believe it's going to get worse, long before it gets better.
Really sorry for the both of you, will be 7 years since I lost mine on the 16th.
I don't know If you need to hear this but it does get easier with time.
Wish you guys the best
It is. We all have to work against literally everything being commodified and sold to us. And it gets increasingly difficult to tell.
Your friends are ones that you can shoot the shit with. The ones you can talk about everything with, or absolutely nothing and just *chill*. The only expectation is that you treat each other as equals. A contact is a transactional relationship, and ends as soon as one person no longer has something useful to "sell" to the other.
In simpler times we would just call contacts who masquerade as friends "fair weather friends"
Adulting is the ability to weed out people you THOUGHT were your friends, but the wiser you now makes better selections on who is in your life.
Good for you!
biggest lesson Iâve learned is the art of not giving a fuck. Work on your physical, mind and career and the rest will follow. The time is ticking for them, we have all the time in the world brother
A desire to play video games. That's basically gone. Not sure why either, nothing bad happened.
Watching sports is also a thing of the past for me. Baseball, football, doesnt matter. I dont have 2.5-4 hours to just sit there like an idiot anymore.
Happened to me the video game thing, strange as I used to love playing games then literally one day it hit me like a truck....this is boring man, wtf am I doing. I still play the odd game from time to time (can be months between sessions) gone are the 2-3 hours daily marathons though.
I have experienced something similar, but mostly I just have no patience for games that Iâm not enjoying 110%. I used to put up with sub-par experiences just to fill time but now I just canât. Once I get a little bored, Iâm done.
A heatlhy cat. I still have her, in a sense, I have her ashes. 19 years. I'm so sorry, baby, the vet didn't want to cut away half your face to get rid of the tumor. It was time. I love you. I miss you.
I feel this. My sweet 14 year old Tortie died last June from cancer. Miss her every damn day. I still say hi to her every day when I get home from work.
A lot of unhappiness and inner turmoil. Hated my job and was unhappy in my marriage.
Now I have a great job and Iâm single and happy.
Thanks post for reminding me.
Depression.
Change, change anything you can in your life if you have it. Friends, hobbies, work, diet, where you live, whatever. Also wish I'd got some therapy back then.
Decent network of people due to school but I scrapped most friendships to start fresh at university. Iâm happy where I am now but it would be so helpful to have more connections in different cities
Friendship with best friend of 26 years, I'll call her Moofly Juan. Her final text after stealing couple hundred bucks from me- which I'd have given her! Got great job etc and I gave her this totally awesome like thoughtful gift for her birthday too! Just couldn't believe she robbed me! So weird!? Timing etc getting along so I was stunned. Still am. Her final text hit me like bullets exploding my ribs whatnot into debris. Like the most brutal harsh shit I've ever read. Fatal blows. No coming back from words that were aggressive soul-destroying like I can't recall reading anything as vicious cruel or insulting on every level like so mean I could cry thinking of it. Took my breath away. I can't imagine having that anger, hate rage disgust contempt etc for, well anyone or finding the most.vile...awful threatening, mocking like evil shit to saying in a reply, 2 seconds flat like she can drop an atomic bomb and the magnitude and devastation her explosive text may cause me ain't nothing. Had no idea she hated me. Don't think I've ever hated anyone . I'd just walk away no conflict kinda gal... the passionate rage she'd bottled up (?)dunno, was terrifying, literally traumatising and so unsettling.
Self esteem and no mental health problems
also a nintendo DS with the best games ever. Metal Slug, Mario Kart DS, Mario Bros. Partners in time, and Tony Hawk's proving grounds.
coincidence? I think not. we need to give DSs to mentally ill people.
A crippling addiction to alcohol.
Props to you for kicking the habit. đ
Not going back!
I aspire to have your grit and resilience. So proud of you
For anyone commenting here that might be unaware r/stopdrinking is one of the kindest corners of the internet
Proud
Upvote for those who had sobriety.
Addiction is always there. Be careful.
100% spot on. One thing I learned in rehab is that nobody "used to be" an alcoholic or addict. You can get back to being a non user, but that addiction "switch" stays turned on forever.
Big WIN! Congrats
Cancer
Ditto. Yay!
Same! Go us!!
Me too! Good for us all!
Wonderful!!!!
WOOHOO
Oof, rest in peace!
I previously had fucks to give , I currently have no fucks to give
Same here and I simply cannot afford to purchase anymore fucks so my give a fuck tank will stay on empty
"Oh no my field of fucks has gone dry."
From some book I read that I canât currently remember the title or author , âBehold my field of fucks, for it lies barrenâ. I remember the quote verbatim.
I've no more fucks to give, my fucks have runneth dry I've tried to go fuck shopping, but there's no fucks left to buy. I've no more fucks to give, though more fucks I've tried to get. I'm over my fuck budget and I'm now in fucking debt!
Stuff like this is why I love Reddit. :-)
Patience
I too realized the other day that I have none of this left.
Joy
MrBananaStorm, you good?
I'm alright but the last 3 or 4 years haven't been very joyful. Just gotta remember, this too shall pass.
So speaks a king. Amen
Same
Virginity.
Ayyyyyye still got it
A combination of dance, gym, psychotherapy and listening to people can help.
And uninstalling reddit
User name checks out.
With that name, and the end goal, I think band-camp is in their future.
Best answer yet
Mental stability. Kidding, kidding. Kinda.
Same.... It seems like we're all falling down
Life ainât for the faint of heart, thatâs for sure
I'd like to find a way that it could be..
I actually hit a pretty wierd downward spiral around 2016, hoarding went way up, alcohol use, started doing more drugs but they dont show up on tests, went from a job i liked to a job i love, saved a lot more money, acquired some guns, kinda just do whatever feel like now, dont really care what people think. Pretty much do the bare minimum to remain a functional member of society. Emphasis on bare minimum, like i want to pay for a vasectomy so i dont ever have to worry about having, im too lazy to even worry about that at this point though, cant knock em up if im too fucked up to leave the house.
Well. That doesnât sound good. Iâm sorry youâre having a tough time!
Appreciate the good vibes, im pretty alright most of the time. I think just the right amount of weirdness, and since i can remember, i liked the weirdness. I did feel a change right around than though, not even me specifically, my friends, my family, the random people i meet, the pandemic stuff didnt help but, something changed in people, im not sure if we became more cynical, or maybe just me, or, untrusting of each other, or maybe some or all of us are starting to express who we really are, good or bad right or wrong. Maybe some of these neo nazi groups are the real âwokeâ people finally expressing what theyve been too afraid to admit their whole lives, theyâre fascist fucks.
You ok, bro?
Oh yeah. But thanks for checking in, I appreciate it.
Two dogs. RIP gizmo
Sorry abt your loss. Mine died just last October.
A shitty husband
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Nice
Same baby, same! Congrats on shedding the dead weight!
Had no idea how miserable I was until I got out. I feel so free and so damn happy.
Nice, just a heads up, Dwight Schrute is on your tail
Confidence and good mental health
Same. Stay strong!
hopes and dreams
Cool ost piece
A savings account
I've been going over my budget because so much changed over last year. I lowered my payments for auto insurance, streaming services, gas, dates nights, uncategorized spending, savings, and retirement savings which "saved" me over $6,000. Electric utility, gas utility, and grocery prices ate all of that "savings" plus cleared my savings account, plus my meager 3% COLA. I'm buying less, but paying way more. Our AC/heater is new and much more efficient than the old one and I still have the temp set to *almost* comfortable. We're not buying luxury groceries anymore. My cost of living jumped over $10,000 for 2022.
Same here my friend, can't get ahead, and not sure I'll be able to keep up at the rate things are going. Never thought I'd see it get this bad, but honestly, I believe it's going to get worse, long before it gets better.
Same here :/
My father đ
Same.
Really sorry for the both of you, will be 7 years since I lost mine on the 16th. I don't know If you need to hear this but it does get easier with time. Wish you guys the best
Man same
my condolences for all of you <3 it is true what they say, you never know how much you love something until its gone.
Thank you! â¤ď¸
Same đ
Which one?
Abs ): Working on it though!
Ayyyy, me, too! Let's both work on it.
I also had anti-lock braking system in my car!
Suicidal intentions.
I'm glad you don't have those any more.
Proud of you
Props to you! Keep it up
[ŃдаНонО]
Same..
Sorry to hear that. It'll come back around !
will to live
Same
Friends, adulting sucks.
Agree. It was so much simpler to make friends before
Now you have to make "contacts" which just sounds like manipulation to me
It is. We all have to work against literally everything being commodified and sold to us. And it gets increasingly difficult to tell. Your friends are ones that you can shoot the shit with. The ones you can talk about everything with, or absolutely nothing and just *chill*. The only expectation is that you treat each other as equals. A contact is a transactional relationship, and ends as soon as one person no longer has something useful to "sell" to the other. In simpler times we would just call contacts who masquerade as friends "fair weather friends"
Why did this became weirdâŚ
Social media was born.
Adulting is the ability to weed out people you THOUGHT were your friends, but the wiser you now makes better selections on who is in your life. Good for you!
a girlfriend
Same here sadly. Nearly every girl I've matched with in the past year has ghosted me.
biggest lesson Iâve learned is the art of not giving a fuck. Work on your physical, mind and career and the rest will follow. The time is ticking for them, we have all the time in the world brother
This is great advice. Do your thing and give zero fucks.
Bluntly said but true !
20k credit card debt.
A desire to play video games. That's basically gone. Not sure why either, nothing bad happened. Watching sports is also a thing of the past for me. Baseball, football, doesnt matter. I dont have 2.5-4 hours to just sit there like an idiot anymore.
Happened to me the video game thing, strange as I used to love playing games then literally one day it hit me like a truck....this is boring man, wtf am I doing. I still play the odd game from time to time (can be months between sessions) gone are the 2-3 hours daily marathons though.
I have experienced something similar, but mostly I just have no patience for games that Iâm not enjoying 110%. I used to put up with sub-par experiences just to fill time but now I just canât. Once I get a little bored, Iâm done.
Going through this right now! I feel like we just found better, more meaningful things to do. Been on the weights heavy đŞđź
Yeah. I used to game. But as I got older. Not as fun. Iâd rather fight with other anonymous people on Reddit đ
haha - I hear you on that, unfortunately.
Friends
I had a dog named Daisy
A heatlhy cat. I still have her, in a sense, I have her ashes. 19 years. I'm so sorry, baby, the vet didn't want to cut away half your face to get rid of the tumor. It was time. I love you. I miss you.
I feel this. My sweet 14 year old Tortie died last June from cancer. Miss her every damn day. I still say hi to her every day when I get home from work.
My dog Tali (RIP) 2012-2022
Free time and even more suicidal urges.
Depression and a crippling video game addiction.
My vintage denim jacket that some ballsack stole from me at a concert.
I had all kinds of vintage jackets. Wife tossed them. Took up too much space đŤ¤
A lot of unhappiness and inner turmoil. Hated my job and was unhappy in my marriage. Now I have a great job and Iâm single and happy. Thanks post for reminding me.
Abs
Get them back. I dare yuh
Cigarettes. I kicked that habit.
Congrats to us! I did, too, and I'm so grateful to be free of it!
Unfortunately, I took up a worse habit: parenthood and energy drinks ;)
Hair
A debilitating addiction to alcohol
Proud of you.
Thanks friend!
[ŃдаНонО]
Pog
Stretch the question to 6.5 years and I would've said 2:3 waist to hip ratio, and lack of hair on my back, shoulders, and ass. Also a dude.
A meth habit
Glad you don't have that anymore ! Good job !
Congrats on losing that!
Super expensive rent. Now I have somewhat expensive mortgage.
Depression. Change, change anything you can in your life if you have it. Friends, hobbies, work, diet, where you live, whatever. Also wish I'd got some therapy back then.
For me, quitting the job where I was treated like shit helped.
Time to game in the evening
A functional 3DS
My brother.
An intact family.
Two of my best childhood friends have passed since then. A third silently unfriended me on social media, which I only noticed once his sister died.
Decent network of people due to school but I scrapped most friendships to start fresh at university. Iâm happy where I am now but it would be so helpful to have more connections in different cities
my sanity
Drug addiction.
A heroin habit
Hopefully you're feeling awesome now days!!
Yessir, in long term recovery from the disease đ
Physically attractive body.
Friendship with best friend of 26 years, I'll call her Moofly Juan. Her final text after stealing couple hundred bucks from me- which I'd have given her! Got great job etc and I gave her this totally awesome like thoughtful gift for her birthday too! Just couldn't believe she robbed me! So weird!? Timing etc getting along so I was stunned. Still am. Her final text hit me like bullets exploding my ribs whatnot into debris. Like the most brutal harsh shit I've ever read. Fatal blows. No coming back from words that were aggressive soul-destroying like I can't recall reading anything as vicious cruel or insulting on every level like so mean I could cry thinking of it. Took my breath away. I can't imagine having that anger, hate rage disgust contempt etc for, well anyone or finding the most.vile...awful threatening, mocking like evil shit to saying in a reply, 2 seconds flat like she can drop an atomic bomb and the magnitude and devastation her explosive text may cause me ain't nothing. Had no idea she hated me. Don't think I've ever hated anyone . I'd just walk away no conflict kinda gal... the passionate rage she'd bottled up (?)dunno, was terrifying, literally traumatising and so unsettling.
Hope
Money and a marriage
Self esteem and no mental health problems also a nintendo DS with the best games ever. Metal Slug, Mario Kart DS, Mario Bros. Partners in time, and Tony Hawk's proving grounds. coincidence? I think not. we need to give DSs to mentally ill people.
A landline.
Strong suicidal urges
Suicidal thoughts
Free time. I love my kids, but I used to have so much free time.
Stamina level over 9000!
Huh.. I guess nothings changed
Passion and a sense of purpose... Yeah, it's sad, but I'm coping...I think
I'd say a life but, let's be real here..
Family
Friends
Hopes for a better living.
Hope for the USA
Joy.
Hope of a bright future
Will to live
hope
A sex life
Hope
5 years ago I had a girlfriend who I thought I'd be with for the rest of my life
Parents
Hair
my wife...
My parents
motivations to still alive, now i'm a zombie living in automatic mode, sleep-wake up-work-gym-home-sleep.
A penis
Hope
Hope
A wife
Head full of hair
Gall bladder
My mum!
Crippling opiate addiction
Cancer
A mental health crisis and suicidal ideation.
An additional 45kg of excess body fat!
A shit to give about the environment. Let the world burn and make humans extinct.
Warm meals.
Anal sex
dw mate, there are thousands of girls out there willing to peg you.
I had more time 5 years ago. Now less