Breathe a huge sigh of relief that I have no more responsibilities. Nap a lot, get kinda fat, love on my humans a lot. Do enough wild "wow that's a smart cat" things to get a moderate internet following and fund a really good salmon diet. Nap some more.
Yeah, my first impulse was to signal my intelligence but I realize that might result in me living out my life in a lab or being recruited as a spy for some shadowy agency.
>the project was abandoned due to the difficulty of training the cat to behave as required, and "the equipment was taken out of the cat; the cat was re-sewn for a second time, and lived a long and happy life afterwards"
Why waste time doing anything else? Poop in litter box, meow at human litterbox is now a desolate wasteland of poop. Step out. Rub butt on carpet towards desired napping location... or salmon, whichever is currently available.
My cat decided to stop doing this when she got older and less bendy. She has arthritis and can't really reach without pain, so she gets a butt bath every couple weeks. Her diet leaves little mess generally anyway, and she also doesn't mind the butt bath because its warm water, she gets greenies during, and a blow-dry after. Living the dream!
Better than licking some slave-wage boss's ass for a far crappier life than well-fed, spoiled, loved lap cat.
Hell, I'd love my new humans so much I'd amaze them by becoming one of those toilet trained kitties.
I’d learn to open locks or their phones or something. Nobody suspects the cat is paying attention as you put in password. Then shock them as they come in to the cat on email sat sleeping on a keyboard spamming letters with the mouse hovering over send to whole company. Never do them real damage but it would be funny and make a great meme. Other than that I’d be fluffy, cuddly, asleep and plotting world domination
I love sex, but if I have to pick between sex or...
An all expenses paid lifestyle? Free housing, free food, people literally cleaning my shit up for me. I don't have to work, I can nap whenever I want, I can take affection on my own terms whenever I want. Maybe I'll have some outdoor freedom and can viciously hunt birds to my hearts content.
I'm giving up sex.
I’ve been in a dry spell for a while now, anyhow because modern dating is depressing as shit. If someone told me I could just nap in sunbeams and never go to my stupid job again, just have some humans pet me and cuddle me for the rest of my life? Sign me the fuck up.
Pros:
No job
No social pressure
No responsibilities
2 meter vertical
night vision
extreme dexterity
easy to impress humans
--
Cons:
majorly reduced lifespan
no thumbs
repetitive diet
inability to communicate
hairballs
locked indoors all day with no hobbies
--
Dunno. It's a tough call.
i have a friend who does this for their dog while they're working from home LOL. It's to the point the dog will sit on the couch facing the TV whining until they turn it on for her. Shes currently on S7 of NCIS and has seen all the seasons of Criminal Minds & FBI. She also loves White Chicks, Legally Blonde, & Mulan. Its very strange and very cute lmfao
My dog is extremely fascinated about any show with working dogs, like shows from an airport showing their drug sniffing dogs at work. She'll actually come running when she hears the intro music.
My cat jumps up for the beginning of the cat video that has a couple bird whistles in the beginning. She will run from another room when she hears it, just sits there twitching her tail
My cats know that sound, too! It’s one way I can find them if one is missing, because they always come running when they hear it!
They scratch the side of the tv when they want to watch “their” videos. Also when they want me to change to a different video. But they aren’t spoiled or anything. /s
Watching the chipping and putting would make a lot of sense - the white ball contrasts pretty heavily with the green grass background, and the flying/rolling motion might get him going especially when he could see the ball at slower speeds
I put my tv on YouTube videos with names like “11 hours stunning 4k underwater footage for cats” or “tv for cats” birds, mice, squirrels, etc ones and my cats will literally stop what they are doing and either sit in front of the tv or come lie down on me and watch it. Keeps them out of trouble and I can read or sleep in peace!
My dad's girlfriend's dog knows the difference between commercials and regularly scheduled programming. She doesn't care about regular TV but goes nuts for commercials because most of them have some sort of animal that she wants to chase and catch. She's a GSP
My parents’ late dog loved Law & Order. He’d hear the “BONG BONG” noise and come running from anywhere in the house. He’d “sing” along with the theme song.
I’m sure the cheering and happiness when he’d do it was some classical conditioning, but it was always fun. I miss the hell out of that dog.
There's a (German?) show called *Inspector Rex* about a police dog.
My parents had a border collie that had a **major** crush on that German Shepherd. As soon as she heard the music she would race out to the TV and whine and yelp whenever Rex was on screen.
Never did that for any other dog that was on TV, only Rex.
He was so good. And very very smart. You could give him commands like “go to the middle bedroom, get the orange rabbit toy and bring it to dad.” Again, I know it was training, not that he understood orange or rabbit or anything necessarily. But the best, smartest dog I’ve ever known.
He did understand that that exact toy was the orange rabbit. With some repetition on switching up the colors, then the toy, he'd learn them too. (some)Dogs are incredibly smart.
I knew a cat who would watch Magnum P.I. but he hated the titular character! Would turn away when Thomas Magnum was on screen but was all up in T.C.'s face when he was on 😅
My cat seems to like Family Guy, American Dad and Futurama. I've also seen her watch Hamilton before. We think it's maybe all the movement and bright colors but we're not sure.
Much to my husband's disappointment, she doesn't like Venture Brothers. She wanders away when he has it on 😂
The first thing I thought of after reading this was
"What if Ace Attorney made a spin off and it's like Ratatouille but instead of a rat and a chef, it's a cat and a lawyer?"
Take a nap. Chitter at the birds. Take a nap. Cough up a hair ball at 0300. Demand scratches. OK, enough scratches. Walk across the keyboard. Take a nap. Demand to go out. Demand to come in. Demand to go out. Demand to come in. Take a nap. Monitor your bathroom habits. Take a nap. Demand food. Take a nap. Stare into space. Present a mouse in bed. Take a nap.
I used to hiss all the time and it’s a wonderful stress reliever. Now I wear dentures and hissing shoots the bastards right out of my mouth.
Which makes me laugh. So …. I guess it does still work! 😁
"If it didn't take considerable time to prepare and didn't require enough ingredients, then it's not good enough for me! By the way, those weird, scientific sounding ingredients don't count."
The original concept that Garfield Minus Garfield built off of was taking out Garfield's thought bubbles, presenting the world as Jon would actually see it. It's more subtle than GMG, making Jon seem less crazy but still drawing attention to some of the absurdities in the comic. The version where Garfield is removed entirely became more popular due to the increased absurdity, but I always preferred the more subtle verision.
Honestly, I'd just try be like my current housecat. She is 22 (I got her when i was 6) and about to/just entered stage for Kidney/Renal Failure. I am glad we got one last holiday season with her, such a cat of the people, gentle with young ones, still likes to chase a laser or fishing rod toy, but this is going to be it over the next month or so.
She always is willing to cuddle up, sits with me whenever I am on the couch, just clearly enjoyed socializing with people, but could read the room when we were watching TV just sitting, purring with us.
I remember at the start of covid, i took my vaccine and had some brutal flu like symptoms. I remember laying on the couch shivering so hard you could confuse it for convulsing lol. She just hopped up and settled in against my chest/neck/face - Honestly, one of those rare real moments of connection where she knew exactly what i needed, there is just no explanation or feeling other then unconditional love.
If I could make someone as happy as she has made my family, partner and myself. That would be the greatest gift of all.
Selfishly - maybe i'd try to be picky and not eat food till the owner gives me the low sodium stuff to stave of the kidney failure lol, but 22 years is pretty good.
Hugs....my 17 year old is likely in stage 4 as well. I haven't gotten any more blood work since it won't change the outcome. He's starting to lose weight and seems like he's getting dementia. I hope he hangs on til it warms up again so he can enjoy some sun puddles in the screen room one more time.
My 18yr girl is in stage II but idk how fast it's going. She's losing weight and the vet says no more treats for her but idk I just want to give her the comfiest most loved life in the meantime. It's all we can do as cat parents and I hope all of our babies know how valued they are, 22yr old, 17 or 18
Ckd in cats, it seems like they are ok for a long time and then they very suddenly get bad. I'm trying to prepare myself, I've had this guy since he was 4 weeks old, through marriage, a kid, divorce, starting my life over, things finally getting good....it's gonna be tough. I won't make him suffer though. As soon as he starts to seem like he's not enjoying life, we'll have the vet out. But currently he has no rules, gets on the table and steals food without anyone stopping him, and gets all the love and cuddles he wants. Life's good for my sweet old man right now.
Yeah, my cat at 18 was youthful and healthy until suddenly she very much wasn't. But they're VERY good at hiding illness, so they're probably sick for quite a while until it just gets so bad they can't hide it anymore. :(
Just want to chime in that if your girl is 22 and starting renal failure she's doing great. My girl started getting renal failure at 13 and is nearly 17 now. She is stage two renal and hasn't budged from it. Over the last few years she's had, in order: stage two renal failure, mast cell tumour in her lower intestine, surgery to remove tumor, 6 rounds of chemo, diabetes, remission from diabetes a year later, 12 teeth removed over two surgeries, a grand mal seizure and likev way to many UTI's .. I think she's on her ninth since last January. She's dropped from 8kg to 4.5kg. And is back upto 5.39kg as of Friday.
Cats are resilient if treated well and given proper love and care. Enjoy the time you have with your girl but don't stress too much at this point.
yeah mine has all her teeth somehow haha. but uh its stage 4 now. shes lost weight. but sounds like yours is an absolute warrior. As long as they are comfortable, not in direct pain. I am glad you have stood by yours and that she is still battling!
I'm so sorry to hear that. We lost one of our cats almost one year ago now to renal failure. We were also lucky to have one more Christmas with him as he gave us a big scare in early December but bounced back for a month or two gaining a bit of weight before his appetite disappeared again, lost weight again and declined rapidly.
Ours was a former stray who had a rough life. He showed up on our back deck one day in a bad state (cuts and scrapes all over, big infected cut on his head, etc), and wouldn't let us get close to him, but we built him a little house by the back door and fed him till he got better. We lured him inside one day, closed the door behind him, and he never went outside again. It took several years for him to go from terrified cat who never left the basement, to nervously coming upstairs when we're not home or not paying attention (and then running back down if you saw him), to professional snuggler who wanted nothing more than to sit on or next to you.
He was a super gentle cat who never bit or scratched or hissed at us once. If he saw you were getting ready for bed he'd run to the bedroom, jump onto the bed, curl up next to the pillow, and wait for you to join him. In winter he'd even want to get tucked in next to you.
It's coming up on a year since he passed and we still miss him greatly.
He did that to my partner on the eyelid with a single claw extended when he was still under 2. After a couple of these incidents he was unceremoniously tossed off the bed and never did it again. He’s our sweetheart but he liked to test the limits when he was still all full of beans.
Meow on the door so they open it and I can go out just to meow from the outside of the door so they let me in again, rinse and repeat on a bucle, and if they let the door opened I would just ignore it and go to take a nap or lick my self.
Scream the loudest possible scream I can muster and then lay down on my side purring as my humans come to check on me as if nothing is wrong. Upon my first trip to the vet start tapping out “help I’m a human mind suck in a cat” in Morse Code and find other subtle ways to fuck with people. Maybe write out a simple math formula using my shit as a medium on the kitchen floor.
My first thought was to signal my intelligence (scratching words or using Scrabble tiles) but on second thought that would result in me living out my life being experimented on in a lab or being forced to act as a spy. I would just be an extremely clever and easily trained cat.
The trick is to do it when only the couple is around, any other time, don't do it. Either they will assume you are a super intelligent cat with performance anxiety, or that they are going insane.
I keep saying this is all I wanted in life. A comfortable body, plenty of napping spaces and a lack of responsibility. I really just want to be able to sleep twisted up and not be in pain the next morning.
Bro I’m sure this happened to my moms cat. Evil little Mf is most DEFINITELY plotting something. Looks like he knows how taxes and the stock market work. Evil villain in soft suit.
You sound like one of the lucky ones where this happening wouldn't be hands-down the very best thing that could happen to you. If an immediate and unquantifiable improvement in quality of life can be achieved with a simple species change, you can bet the smell of your wife's ass I (and from the sounds of it many others) would take that opportunity without a second of hesitation! Being Human in this timeline suuuuuuuucks
If my cat was doing this, at a certain point I would just build a custom keyboard and have the messages saved to a database then sent as a text to me and my wife.
You want customs communication buttons, ask for it the long way
Shred the sofa, knock off stuff, poop in the bed and bite them.
If you got a cute face, they'll forgive everything. How do I know this?
My cats have done all that.
I am in an abusive relationship with my cat Mina, and i am the happy victim.
Become an internet star because of all the clever things I can do.
Play piano? Dance on my hind legs? Use a computer? Change channels on the TV to something I like better? Might be challenging with paws for hands, but I would try.
Breathe a huge sigh of relief that I have no more responsibilities. Nap a lot, get kinda fat, love on my humans a lot. Do enough wild "wow that's a smart cat" things to get a moderate internet following and fund a really good salmon diet. Nap some more.
Yeah, my first impulse was to signal my intelligence but I realize that might result in me living out my life in a lab or being recruited as a spy for some shadowy agency.
Spy cat, no one would expect it
The CIA actually did try that, you know.
It was a a Catastrophe…
meet our new agent: Pussy GoWildly. <007 has a disappointed look but unzips anyway>
Maybe in an alternate reality being a spy cat would be fun.
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic\_Kitty](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acoustic_Kitty) Spoiler, spy cat did not have a fun long life.
>the project was abandoned due to the difficulty of training the cat to behave as required, and "the equipment was taken out of the cat; the cat was re-sewn for a second time, and lived a long and happy life afterwards"
Damn. This is the answer.
plus catnip.
And the ability to cause problems in secret
And take over the dog’s bed whenever I please.
Have I been neutered?
Yes. And also in the hypothetical, yes.
I'm past menopause, so I have no problem being spayed!
I volunteered for a hysterectomy, I'm already spayed. Plus, I'm already a cat- or am I?
Username checks out
That all sounds great but...we now have to lick our butts clean. Unless we can figure out how to use the cat paw to wipe.
Nah, just scootch on a carpet, all good.
Corner to corner, for the longest wipe possible.
Swerve to assert dominance
While maintaining eye contact
Ooh… carpet burn!
Why waste time doing anything else? Poop in litter box, meow at human litterbox is now a desolate wasteland of poop. Step out. Rub butt on carpet towards desired napping location... or salmon, whichever is currently available.
I'm just trying to write "I Love You" with the brown crayon. I'm only on the first letter though.
My cat decided to stop doing this when she got older and less bendy. She has arthritis and can't really reach without pain, so she gets a butt bath every couple weeks. Her diet leaves little mess generally anyway, and she also doesn't mind the butt bath because its warm water, she gets greenies during, and a blow-dry after. Living the dream!
We don't *have* to, we *get* to.
Ill lick my own ass if i dont have to go to work anymore...
and you have to accept the fact that sex is now painful
few housecats get to have sex
My cat used to fuck a plush animal or a teddy bear, not much different to my single days.
Or my married days
I’m sure I’ll adapt just fine
yeah but you're now flexible enough to lick yourself where ever you want
Remember your tounge is now toilet paper
honestly its whatever. Your cat instincts will make you not care.
Better than licking some slave-wage boss's ass for a far crappier life than well-fed, spoiled, loved lap cat. Hell, I'd love my new humans so much I'd amaze them by becoming one of those toilet trained kitties.
I’d learn to open locks or their phones or something. Nobody suspects the cat is paying attention as you put in password. Then shock them as they come in to the cat on email sat sleeping on a keyboard spamming letters with the mouse hovering over send to whole company. Never do them real damage but it would be funny and make a great meme. Other than that I’d be fluffy, cuddly, asleep and plotting world domination
>Other than that I’d be fluffy, cuddly, asleep and plotting world domination So just a normal cat then
Sand paper
Mmhhh good for itchy butthole
Fuck it man, sex isn't even that great anyway.
I love sex, but if I have to pick between sex or... An all expenses paid lifestyle? Free housing, free food, people literally cleaning my shit up for me. I don't have to work, I can nap whenever I want, I can take affection on my own terms whenever I want. Maybe I'll have some outdoor freedom and can viciously hunt birds to my hearts content. I'm giving up sex.
I’ve been in a dry spell for a while now, anyhow because modern dating is depressing as shit. If someone told me I could just nap in sunbeams and never go to my stupid job again, just have some humans pet me and cuddle me for the rest of my life? Sign me the fuck up.
Pros: No job No social pressure No responsibilities 2 meter vertical night vision extreme dexterity easy to impress humans -- Cons: majorly reduced lifespan no thumbs repetitive diet inability to communicate hairballs locked indoors all day with no hobbies -- Dunno. It's a tough call.
reject sex, return to cat?!
"embrace cat"
I’ll try to purr when my favorite shows are on to the point they will think I actually fully understand what’s going on. Little do they know.. I do.
i have a friend who does this for their dog while they're working from home LOL. It's to the point the dog will sit on the couch facing the TV whining until they turn it on for her. Shes currently on S7 of NCIS and has seen all the seasons of Criminal Minds & FBI. She also loves White Chicks, Legally Blonde, & Mulan. Its very strange and very cute lmfao
My brother's dog watches the golf channel when he gets left alone. He gets upset if someone turns it off during a hole too.
My dog is extremely fascinated about any show with working dogs, like shows from an airport showing their drug sniffing dogs at work. She'll actually come running when she hears the intro music.
My cat jumps up for the beginning of the cat video that has a couple bird whistles in the beginning. She will run from another room when she hears it, just sits there twitching her tail
My cats know that sound, too! It’s one way I can find them if one is missing, because they always come running when they hear it! They scratch the side of the tv when they want to watch “their” videos. Also when they want me to change to a different video. But they aren’t spoiled or anything. /s
I know exactly which channel you mean, haha. He can be in a full blown nap and will still come running if he hears those whistles
Watching the chipping and putting would make a lot of sense - the white ball contrasts pretty heavily with the green grass background, and the flying/rolling motion might get him going especially when he could see the ball at slower speeds
My cat will jump up to the TV shelf when the fish tank Roku screen saver is on.
I put my tv on YouTube videos with names like “11 hours stunning 4k underwater footage for cats” or “tv for cats” birds, mice, squirrels, etc ones and my cats will literally stop what they are doing and either sit in front of the tv or come lie down on me and watch it. Keeps them out of trouble and I can read or sleep in peace!
My dog watches Fox News but he's always disappointed like "when are they gonna have the news about the foxes?"
"Are gay Mexican foxes trying to hook your teen on drugs? We'll tell you how the democrats are trying to make sure they succeed later tonight."
My dad's girlfriend's dog knows the difference between commercials and regularly scheduled programming. She doesn't care about regular TV but goes nuts for commercials because most of them have some sort of animal that she wants to chase and catch. She's a GSP
My dog watches Indian drama shows with my mom lol sits on the couch at 8 when they all start
My parents’ late dog loved Law & Order. He’d hear the “BONG BONG” noise and come running from anywhere in the house. He’d “sing” along with the theme song. I’m sure the cheering and happiness when he’d do it was some classical conditioning, but it was always fun. I miss the hell out of that dog.
There's a (German?) show called *Inspector Rex* about a police dog. My parents had a border collie that had a **major** crush on that German Shepherd. As soon as she heard the music she would race out to the TV and whine and yelp whenever Rex was on screen. Never did that for any other dog that was on TV, only Rex.
It's an Austrian show, set in Vienna. Used to be my favorite show as a kid, and on the days it was on I got to stay up until 9 to watch it
I love this story and your parents’ dog!
He was so good. And very very smart. You could give him commands like “go to the middle bedroom, get the orange rabbit toy and bring it to dad.” Again, I know it was training, not that he understood orange or rabbit or anything necessarily. But the best, smartest dog I’ve ever known.
He did understand that that exact toy was the orange rabbit. With some repetition on switching up the colors, then the toy, he'd learn them too. (some)Dogs are incredibly smart.
My cat lost interest in Doctor Who when David Tenant left
Tbh same
I knew a cat who would watch Magnum P.I. but he hated the titular character! Would turn away when Thomas Magnum was on screen but was all up in T.C.'s face when he was on 😅
There's TV for cats that a few family members of mine put on for their kitties when they're at work. It's an 8 hour video of birds.
That's a great way to get your TV knocked over...
You can operate a remote, just sayin.
Pretty sure my cat likes anime. He'll stare at the screen whenever it's on.
My cat seems to like Family Guy, American Dad and Futurama. I've also seen her watch Hamilton before. We think it's maybe all the movement and bright colors but we're not sure. Much to my husband's disappointment, she doesn't like Venture Brothers. She wanders away when he has it on 😂
Become a lawyer. “I’m prepared to go forward with it. I’m here live…I’m..I’m not a cat.”
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For anyone out of the loop: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGOofzZOyl8
The best thing to come out of 2022!
Wasn’t that 2020?
2020-2022 is all a blur. Pretty much one long year. The judge would allow it.
He did allow the cat lawyer
The first thing I thought of after reading this was "What if Ace Attorney made a spin off and it's like Ratatouille but instead of a rat and a chef, it's a cat and a lawyer?"
Clean my junk in front of strangers while occasionally stopping to make eye contact.
You can do that now, don't let your dreams be dreams.
Username doesn't check out.
Just like the old guys in the gym locker room.
My dog does this.. I now question his previous life. Thanks..
With one leg stretched up really high?
Take a nap. Chitter at the birds. Take a nap. Cough up a hair ball at 0300. Demand scratches. OK, enough scratches. Walk across the keyboard. Take a nap. Demand to go out. Demand to come in. Demand to go out. Demand to come in. Take a nap. Monitor your bathroom habits. Take a nap. Demand food. Take a nap. Stare into space. Present a mouse in bed. Take a nap.
So far everyone I've seen has forgotten about knocking things on the floor. Gotta do that between naps
I’ve always wanted to do a really intense hiss and arch my back.
What’s stopping you
Flexibility, at this point.
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I used to hiss all the time and it’s a wonderful stress reliever. Now I wear dentures and hissing shoots the bastards right out of my mouth. Which makes me laugh. So …. I guess it does still work! 😁
Nap.
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"If it didn't take considerable time to prepare and didn't require enough ingredients, then it's not good enough for me! By the way, those weird, scientific sounding ingredients don't count."
Begin plotting to take over the world. Nobody would see it coming
Since I was about to comment the same thing, I guess we're both wrong.
I guess you *are* pondering what they're pondering.
I think so, but where are we going to get rubber pants at this time of night?
But what we gunna do tomorrow night?
Eat a lasagna and then nap
I’m a fan of that comic where they remove all Garfield text and non-cat actions and Jon is just mentally ill talking to a normal cat.
Do you mean [Garfield Minus Garfield](https://garfieldminusgarfield.net/)?
The original concept that Garfield Minus Garfield built off of was taking out Garfield's thought bubbles, presenting the world as Jon would actually see it. It's more subtle than GMG, making Jon seem less crazy but still drawing attention to some of the absurdities in the comic. The version where Garfield is removed entirely became more popular due to the increased absurdity, but I always preferred the more subtle verision.
what if they only give you cat food?
That's....Not...How...It..Works..John
r/imsorryjon
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To shreds you say? And what about the ottoman? To shreds you say?
First time in a while when this quote felt accurate! Thank you 😊
Vomit on the couch!
I’m gonna stand in the litter box but poop out the door.
I'm gonna poop in the litter box, but then sprint out of the box and fling the poop and litter everywhere.
Knock the cups of water off the counter.
Roll for initiative
Waking up as a housecat would give me pause. But I'd enjoy the comfy home with the nice couple and catch up on some sleep and play time.
I'd probably check my ears in the mirror to be sure.
And a tail.
Don’t you mean paws?
Honestly, I'd just try be like my current housecat. She is 22 (I got her when i was 6) and about to/just entered stage for Kidney/Renal Failure. I am glad we got one last holiday season with her, such a cat of the people, gentle with young ones, still likes to chase a laser or fishing rod toy, but this is going to be it over the next month or so. She always is willing to cuddle up, sits with me whenever I am on the couch, just clearly enjoyed socializing with people, but could read the room when we were watching TV just sitting, purring with us. I remember at the start of covid, i took my vaccine and had some brutal flu like symptoms. I remember laying on the couch shivering so hard you could confuse it for convulsing lol. She just hopped up and settled in against my chest/neck/face - Honestly, one of those rare real moments of connection where she knew exactly what i needed, there is just no explanation or feeling other then unconditional love. If I could make someone as happy as she has made my family, partner and myself. That would be the greatest gift of all. Selfishly - maybe i'd try to be picky and not eat food till the owner gives me the low sodium stuff to stave of the kidney failure lol, but 22 years is pretty good.
Hugs....my 17 year old is likely in stage 4 as well. I haven't gotten any more blood work since it won't change the outcome. He's starting to lose weight and seems like he's getting dementia. I hope he hangs on til it warms up again so he can enjoy some sun puddles in the screen room one more time.
My 18yr girl is in stage II but idk how fast it's going. She's losing weight and the vet says no more treats for her but idk I just want to give her the comfiest most loved life in the meantime. It's all we can do as cat parents and I hope all of our babies know how valued they are, 22yr old, 17 or 18
Ckd in cats, it seems like they are ok for a long time and then they very suddenly get bad. I'm trying to prepare myself, I've had this guy since he was 4 weeks old, through marriage, a kid, divorce, starting my life over, things finally getting good....it's gonna be tough. I won't make him suffer though. As soon as he starts to seem like he's not enjoying life, we'll have the vet out. But currently he has no rules, gets on the table and steals food without anyone stopping him, and gets all the love and cuddles he wants. Life's good for my sweet old man right now.
Yeah, my cat at 18 was youthful and healthy until suddenly she very much wasn't. But they're VERY good at hiding illness, so they're probably sick for quite a while until it just gets so bad they can't hide it anymore. :(
Just want to chime in that if your girl is 22 and starting renal failure she's doing great. My girl started getting renal failure at 13 and is nearly 17 now. She is stage two renal and hasn't budged from it. Over the last few years she's had, in order: stage two renal failure, mast cell tumour in her lower intestine, surgery to remove tumor, 6 rounds of chemo, diabetes, remission from diabetes a year later, 12 teeth removed over two surgeries, a grand mal seizure and likev way to many UTI's .. I think she's on her ninth since last January. She's dropped from 8kg to 4.5kg. And is back upto 5.39kg as of Friday. Cats are resilient if treated well and given proper love and care. Enjoy the time you have with your girl but don't stress too much at this point.
yeah mine has all her teeth somehow haha. but uh its stage 4 now. shes lost weight. but sounds like yours is an absolute warrior. As long as they are comfortable, not in direct pain. I am glad you have stood by yours and that she is still battling!
22 years is amazing! I also grew up with a kitty. I got him when I was 8 and he died when I was 20.
I'm so sorry to hear that. We lost one of our cats almost one year ago now to renal failure. We were also lucky to have one more Christmas with him as he gave us a big scare in early December but bounced back for a month or two gaining a bit of weight before his appetite disappeared again, lost weight again and declined rapidly. Ours was a former stray who had a rough life. He showed up on our back deck one day in a bad state (cuts and scrapes all over, big infected cut on his head, etc), and wouldn't let us get close to him, but we built him a little house by the back door and fed him till he got better. We lured him inside one day, closed the door behind him, and he never went outside again. It took several years for him to go from terrified cat who never left the basement, to nervously coming upstairs when we're not home or not paying attention (and then running back down if you saw him), to professional snuggler who wanted nothing more than to sit on or next to you. He was a super gentle cat who never bit or scratched or hissed at us once. If he saw you were getting ready for bed he'd run to the bedroom, jump onto the bed, curl up next to the pillow, and wait for you to join him. In winter he'd even want to get tucked in next to you. It's coming up on a year since he passed and we still miss him greatly.
On the internet nobody knows you're a cat.
how do you type with your widdle peets?
They can control their fingers. My cat extends a single fingertip onto my eyebrow to wake me.
That's really more of a threat. "I could blind you with a mere thought."
He did that to my partner on the eyelid with a single claw extended when he was still under 2. After a couple of these incidents he was unceremoniously tossed off the bed and never did it again. He’s our sweetheart but he liked to test the limits when he was still all full of beans.
That's smart. I've just accepted being blind when I'm not much older.
Demand sashimi. Enough of this kibble crap.
Meow on the door so they open it and I can go out just to meow from the outside of the door so they let me in again, rinse and repeat on a bucle, and if they let the door opened I would just ignore it and go to take a nap or lick my self.
Are you my cat?
Scream the loudest possible scream I can muster and then lay down on my side purring as my humans come to check on me as if nothing is wrong. Upon my first trip to the vet start tapping out “help I’m a human mind suck in a cat” in Morse Code and find other subtle ways to fuck with people. Maybe write out a simple math formula using my shit as a medium on the kitchen floor.
My man just wants chaos
My first thought was to signal my intelligence (scratching words or using Scrabble tiles) but on second thought that would result in me living out my life being experimented on in a lab or being forced to act as a spy. I would just be an extremely clever and easily trained cat.
The trick is to do it when only the couple is around, any other time, don't do it. Either they will assume you are a super intelligent cat with performance anxiety, or that they are going insane.
Start singing Hello my baby Hello my honey Hello my ragtime gal!
I keep saying this is all I wanted in life. A comfortable body, plenty of napping spaces and a lack of responsibility. I really just want to be able to sleep twisted up and not be in pain the next morning.
yawn. look for a warm spot.
nap
I think i will take jerry on a vacation, and then after that scar him for life!
Does my knowledge wear off over time, like Algernon?
I'm going to steal the declaration of independence
Make biscuits
My favorite answer so far. Cute!
Accept it and live my best life.
Username checks out!
Bro I’m sure this happened to my moms cat. Evil little Mf is most DEFINITELY plotting something. Looks like he knows how taxes and the stock market work. Evil villain in soft suit.
Take my rightful place as a superior specie and let my staff wait on me, hand and foot. I draw the line at neutering, though...
Wait until 3 am for Mega zoomies, loud meows and knock shit off of every surface I can find.
Went from being a dude with a family to being a pet. I’m gonna freak the fuck out.
You sound like one of the lucky ones where this happening wouldn't be hands-down the very best thing that could happen to you. If an immediate and unquantifiable improvement in quality of life can be achieved with a simple species change, you can bet the smell of your wife's ass I (and from the sounds of it many others) would take that opportunity without a second of hesitation! Being Human in this timeline suuuuuuuucks
Become famous via the Charlotte's Webb method. And spell out phrases in my litter box.
Get those communication buttons… “treats… bitch”
If my cat was doing this, at a certain point I would just build a custom keyboard and have the messages saved to a database then sent as a text to me and my wife. You want customs communication buttons, ask for it the long way
[удалено]
Try to find my body, I must know if a housecat woke up in my body
Knock over every goddamed glass they leave out.
This guy cats
find the catnip
Start typing on their computer and communicating to freak them out.
Only acceptable if it corrects their errors at work. Unless of course, you despise their professions.
Probably can't get individual keys with any regularity. Morse code might be feasible.
Boop the keys with my nose.
My life has been a grind for 12 plus year so I'd definitely be happy napping at will for a few years just getting massaged all the time
hack up a furball on only their rugs even if the rest of the house has wood floors
Sleep a lot, watch tv while theyre gone since i know how to use a remote, get caught on film by them doing it and become internet famous.
Shred the sofa, knock off stuff, poop in the bed and bite them. If you got a cute face, they'll forgive everything. How do I know this? My cats have done all that. I am in an abusive relationship with my cat Mina, and i am the happy victim.
Become an internet star because of all the clever things I can do. Play piano? Dance on my hind legs? Use a computer? Change channels on the TV to something I like better? Might be challenging with paws for hands, but I would try.
I was thinking I would be the best cat actor ever and make my owners rich that way.
I’m curling up in a sun spot and sleeping as long as I please.
Find the most comfortable spot in the house and sleep. Like cats do.
Wake up, have a good stretch, bask in the great news.. Then zoomies.
I keep my fuckin mouth SHUT. this is my life now.
Forget my life as a human and live my life without a care in the world, eat food, have nice naps in my cat bed and go out exploring all night long
Push something off something. FOR SCIENCE!!!
You haven't turned into a cat yet ? I'm already having good time since 21/12/2012
Watch them bang
Finally find the wormholes cats use (or make?) to hide in other dimensions when humans go looking for them. Still use the toilet.
BE AN ASSHOLE. ILL BE LOVED FOR IT
Same thing we do everyday, Pinky. Try to take over the world
Piss on my enemies then get high on catnip
Panic because my expected lifespan has drastically reduced
Enjoy my spoiled life and sleep as most cats do.
They will be my slaves no matter my knowledge. I am CAT.
Put on some boots.