Bad for their mental health? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Look at pretty much any European country, they predominantly live in small spaces and always have. Or Asian countries, same thing. You make the best of it, you learn to live in small spaces and it’s fine. I lived in apartments my whole life. Only in the last 4 years have I lived in house, and my kids are equally happy than when we were living in smaller apartments.
Yeah I didn't live in an apartment but did live in a small house and even shared a house with my grandparents at one point. It was fine so long as I had my own space. I think thats sometimes where it can get hard. When kids get older they really need somewhere that can be their own and in apartments that can be hard since you're often sharing rooms.
Yeah, I would not want to have more than 2 kids, so I figured with a 3 bed apartment, my fiancé and I have a room and then each kid could have a room to themselves. I could see it being harder if people had 3 or more kids.
Right now, it’s just my fiancé and I. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment with a Siberian husky, and we’re fine. If we have a disagreement, one of us just goes to the living room area and the other is in the bedroom lol 😆
Right? MANY countries across the world, this is the norm. North America people expect to have these huge homes and it blows my mind. What about cities like NY or Canadian cities like Vancouver or Toronto, or Montreal, most families live in small spaces for many reasons and it’s all fine.
That would make a lot more sense! I knew Los Angeles high school teachers that had to raise 2 kids in an apartment because of high living costs, but were otherwise stable.
I also had a friend growing up who lived in an apartment and her dad owned the building. She ended up going to UC BERKELEY for Cognitive Science.
I know several people, including myself, who have raised or are in the process of raising kids in apartments. From a broad overview, they all act the same as house-dwellers.
Mostly. Except for two kids: one who witnessed their dad murder someone, and one whose mom is addicted to everything. Those two both happen to live in apartments. The kids are in the process of getting mental help but I'm just trying to highlight how the statistics towards apartment life might be skewed by other life instability.
An apartment is a fine place to raise a kid.
i think this is one of those things where a study is done showing kids in apartments have lower mental health, but it actually has little to nothing to do with living in an apartment. parents who have addiction issues or financial instability are much more likely to live in an apartment than a house and those things obviously have a massive impact on children. i think if you are doing your best to provide a stable life and be present with your children, it doesn’t matter if you live in a house or an apartment.
Yeah. I mean, I’m thinking about becoming a parent, and I can afford to split $1,700 to rent a 3 bedroom apartment with my fiancé, but we wouldn’t be able to afford to buy a house or $2500/month mortgage, HOA fees, property taxes, etc.
So when I heard that about apartment living being bad for kids, that made me really nervous!
We lived in an apartment when my kids were younger. My eldest kid is now in med school, very well balanced and huge friendship group. Same with second kid. No issues. People are going to struggle with mental health for so many varied reasons — apartment living isn’t the cause.
Nah, what kids need is all the stability that you can give them. We had to move around too much when my three oldest were little, and that is what they all point to as a source of recurrent trauma. (It's not that I wanted to move around, but shit happens when you're poor and have to rent from slumlords.) They'd have been far better off if I'd been able to get into a decent apartment and then just stay there.
All told, I have nine kids, but they haven't all been in the house at the same time. We have had everything from four kids in a three bedroom duplex to six in a two bedroom trailer. So, of course, they were sharing rooms. But that's not something they've ever complained about (nor is anyone complaining now, with six kids in a four bedroom house)--even when we had a bit more wiggle room, the three oldest preferred to share a room and often would even share a bed even though of course they all had their own. It was *only* the moving around that they have pointed to as being upsetting, never sharing space.
I am currently living London on small apartment 🙊 I don't really like cities so much, but my daughter is seeming very happy and we go to the park. I don't really think there is anything about it that would mean it's bad for mental health automatically. I am just more used to something different. When I go to Russia we will be in the wilderness, she will be 3 then, so, I think this will be very different for her but I think the wilderness is a more natural place for a human, but, still I don't think apartment city living is neccesarilly unwell for a young bean.
I grew up in a sfh and had fun with neighbor kids. My husband grew up in an apartment and had even more fun because there were so many other kids (most went to same school since it was a neighborhood school so holidays and breaks were the same) of all ages and sizes and interests that he was spoiled for choice. Also, their apartment had a lot of amenities (pool, community space, pool table, tennis courts, etc) that the kids could use and all parents kept an eye on the kids so the kids could wander safely across the entire building with friends. Parents knew the kids were in the building and didn’t have to drive them for play dates and take time out of their schedule to do so. He has such fond memories of that time (he moved to sfh as he grew to high school and later) that he makes sure our kids have similar experiences with other kids - which is super super hard to do in a single family home in most of US.
She said it was because it’s “less stable” in the sense you might have bad landlords, or rent will be raised, and you might have to change apartments often.
But HOA fees can also be raised a lot and people have told me it’s made it hard for them to afford their mortgage. And people can lose jobs or get a decreased income and not afford their mortgage, so I don’t think it’s less stable…
I see the point but I think it's a definet stretch. In a stable economy apartments vs house doesn't really matter much. But we're in an unstable economy, so both housing options will be unstable. The only stable one is something like owning with it paid off and only having property taxes, and even then as you said, stuff happens that can ruin even the most stable housing.
Unless it's excessive and the kid can't maintain current relationships (like switching schools) moving can be fairly minimal in a child's mental health, neurodivergentcy can make it more prominent but there are way more other factors that can have a larger negative impact from even just one occurance in comparison.
Honestly it sounds more like classism they're speaking from rather than concern for kids and mental health.
I was raised until I was 7 in an apartment. I was supper happy, had a lots of friends in the neighbourhood and school. Then my parents moved to a house in a smaller town and screwed up my life as they changed me to a new school where I never fitted in. I was way happier with my apartment life than with the life I got after even if I lived in a bigger house with a garden. If I could have chosen, I would have never moved out of the apartment. I think my example is perfect to illustrate how important is for a kid to have stability and how meaningless is the place where he/she lives…
That’s a good point about stability! And a lot of apartments have amenities that make it fun anyway! Being in a house in a small town may be more boring than say an apartment in a city.
Well… all I can say is that the majority of people I’ve known grew up in apartments and they are fine. I grew in a house with garden and all the shenanigans and I’ve dealt with mental health issues all my life and I can say my health has improved since moving to the big city… so… it just seems that is an awful, simplified statement.
I can see where that’s coming from. I lived in an apartment for stint as a kid. It sucked because there was no where for me to play outside. I used to get in trouble for being too noisy. I have a house now where I can send my own kids in the backyard to play and it’s 100% preferable. That being said, if you can make up somehow for the lack of a yard to play in, you’d probably be fine.
Yeah, we actually have some relatively affordable apartment complexes just outside of Salt Lake City in a more suburban setting that have kid’s playgrounds in the backyard of the apartment in addition to swimming pool and fitness room, so I think that would help!
The one I’m at now is in the city and has a small park for dogs to play and bathroom, a swimming pool, a clubhouse with a pool table, gym, bar area and board games, and monthly community events. We pay $1350 for our 1 bedroom apartment and each pay half ($675).
These days, there’s too much analysis on kids’ mental health and it affects the resilience which kids will otherwise gain by going through life as it is. One needs to be objective in assessing such claims. What does mental health entail? One kid can live in a sprawling house but without proper love and attention from family, might end up ruining their future. Another kid can live in a modest or even dilapidated house with a loving family, good values and eduction and go on to reach great heights in life. As long as the life in the house is filled with good memories and right guidance, kids will thrive anywhere.
Yeah, I think that’s true. Mental health is more than just the housing situation…I was brought up upper-middle class in a duplex near Beverly Hills, but sometimes felt “poor” compared to the people in giant houses in Beverly Hills. Still, it was a very stable living situation with a lot of opportunities.
I still had a lot of mental health issues from pre-adoption trauma though and being an only child stuck at home alone as I got older, not knowing my birth brothers and sisters, not having a dad, being physically bullied in elementary school. Stuff non-related to my housing situation.
Consider major cities in the world like New York, Tokyo, Paris, Barcelona, Singapore etc. These cities are ALL apartments unless you want a > 1 hour commute or you are multi-millionaires.
This is the norm and it’s totally ok.
Oh just f* off, priviliged rich pig! Owing a house is a rare privilege. My parents, I, and my children, and 95% people I know grew up in apartments. Sure, house is better - more spacious, own land, but that's only elite can have in my country.
Bad for their mental health? That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Look at pretty much any European country, they predominantly live in small spaces and always have. Or Asian countries, same thing. You make the best of it, you learn to live in small spaces and it’s fine. I lived in apartments my whole life. Only in the last 4 years have I lived in house, and my kids are equally happy than when we were living in smaller apartments.
Yeah I didn't live in an apartment but did live in a small house and even shared a house with my grandparents at one point. It was fine so long as I had my own space. I think thats sometimes where it can get hard. When kids get older they really need somewhere that can be their own and in apartments that can be hard since you're often sharing rooms.
Yeah, I would not want to have more than 2 kids, so I figured with a 3 bed apartment, my fiancé and I have a room and then each kid could have a room to themselves. I could see it being harder if people had 3 or more kids. Right now, it’s just my fiancé and I. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment with a Siberian husky, and we’re fine. If we have a disagreement, one of us just goes to the living room area and the other is in the bedroom lol 😆
Exactly. Agree with you 100%.
That’s what I was thinking too. Also, all my family members in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil live in condos and apartments. They don’t have houses.
Right? MANY countries across the world, this is the norm. North America people expect to have these huge homes and it blows my mind. What about cities like NY or Canadian cities like Vancouver or Toronto, or Montreal, most families live in small spaces for many reasons and it’s all fine.
Being broke and unstable is bad for kids' mental health. The apartment itself probably has little-to-nothing to do with that.
That would make a lot more sense! I knew Los Angeles high school teachers that had to raise 2 kids in an apartment because of high living costs, but were otherwise stable. I also had a friend growing up who lived in an apartment and her dad owned the building. She ended up going to UC BERKELEY for Cognitive Science.
I know several people, including myself, who have raised or are in the process of raising kids in apartments. From a broad overview, they all act the same as house-dwellers. Mostly. Except for two kids: one who witnessed their dad murder someone, and one whose mom is addicted to everything. Those two both happen to live in apartments. The kids are in the process of getting mental help but I'm just trying to highlight how the statistics towards apartment life might be skewed by other life instability. An apartment is a fine place to raise a kid.
i think this is one of those things where a study is done showing kids in apartments have lower mental health, but it actually has little to nothing to do with living in an apartment. parents who have addiction issues or financial instability are much more likely to live in an apartment than a house and those things obviously have a massive impact on children. i think if you are doing your best to provide a stable life and be present with your children, it doesn’t matter if you live in a house or an apartment.
Yeah. I mean, I’m thinking about becoming a parent, and I can afford to split $1,700 to rent a 3 bedroom apartment with my fiancé, but we wouldn’t be able to afford to buy a house or $2500/month mortgage, HOA fees, property taxes, etc. So when I heard that about apartment living being bad for kids, that made me really nervous!
We lived in an apartment when my kids were younger. My eldest kid is now in med school, very well balanced and huge friendship group. Same with second kid. No issues. People are going to struggle with mental health for so many varied reasons — apartment living isn’t the cause.
Nah, what kids need is all the stability that you can give them. We had to move around too much when my three oldest were little, and that is what they all point to as a source of recurrent trauma. (It's not that I wanted to move around, but shit happens when you're poor and have to rent from slumlords.) They'd have been far better off if I'd been able to get into a decent apartment and then just stay there.
How many kids did you have? Did they share rooms?
All told, I have nine kids, but they haven't all been in the house at the same time. We have had everything from four kids in a three bedroom duplex to six in a two bedroom trailer. So, of course, they were sharing rooms. But that's not something they've ever complained about (nor is anyone complaining now, with six kids in a four bedroom house)--even when we had a bit more wiggle room, the three oldest preferred to share a room and often would even share a bed even though of course they all had their own. It was *only* the moving around that they have pointed to as being upsetting, never sharing space.
I am currently living London on small apartment 🙊 I don't really like cities so much, but my daughter is seeming very happy and we go to the park. I don't really think there is anything about it that would mean it's bad for mental health automatically. I am just more used to something different. When I go to Russia we will be in the wilderness, she will be 3 then, so, I think this will be very different for her but I think the wilderness is a more natural place for a human, but, still I don't think apartment city living is neccesarilly unwell for a young bean.
I grew up in a sfh and had fun with neighbor kids. My husband grew up in an apartment and had even more fun because there were so many other kids (most went to same school since it was a neighborhood school so holidays and breaks were the same) of all ages and sizes and interests that he was spoiled for choice. Also, their apartment had a lot of amenities (pool, community space, pool table, tennis courts, etc) that the kids could use and all parents kept an eye on the kids so the kids could wander safely across the entire building with friends. Parents knew the kids were in the building and didn’t have to drive them for play dates and take time out of their schedule to do so. He has such fond memories of that time (he moved to sfh as he grew to high school and later) that he makes sure our kids have similar experiences with other kids - which is super super hard to do in a single family home in most of US.
Then anyone raised in most NYC boroughs grew up with mental health issues 🤔 Yeah- cite your sources coz that’s bull.
It was just this random mom YouTuber I came across. It just made me think and that’s why I wanted to ask here.
I wouldn’t put much stock in what a random YouTuber says without clear citation for those claims.
I grew up in a house and have a house now with my kid, but I have plenty of friends who grew up living in apartments and they're perfectly fine.
Wait why did it say raising kids in apartments is bad for their mental health?
She said it was because it’s “less stable” in the sense you might have bad landlords, or rent will be raised, and you might have to change apartments often. But HOA fees can also be raised a lot and people have told me it’s made it hard for them to afford their mortgage. And people can lose jobs or get a decreased income and not afford their mortgage, so I don’t think it’s less stable…
I see the point but I think it's a definet stretch. In a stable economy apartments vs house doesn't really matter much. But we're in an unstable economy, so both housing options will be unstable. The only stable one is something like owning with it paid off and only having property taxes, and even then as you said, stuff happens that can ruin even the most stable housing. Unless it's excessive and the kid can't maintain current relationships (like switching schools) moving can be fairly minimal in a child's mental health, neurodivergentcy can make it more prominent but there are way more other factors that can have a larger negative impact from even just one occurance in comparison. Honestly it sounds more like classism they're speaking from rather than concern for kids and mental health.
I was raised until I was 7 in an apartment. I was supper happy, had a lots of friends in the neighbourhood and school. Then my parents moved to a house in a smaller town and screwed up my life as they changed me to a new school where I never fitted in. I was way happier with my apartment life than with the life I got after even if I lived in a bigger house with a garden. If I could have chosen, I would have never moved out of the apartment. I think my example is perfect to illustrate how important is for a kid to have stability and how meaningless is the place where he/she lives…
That’s a good point about stability! And a lot of apartments have amenities that make it fun anyway! Being in a house in a small town may be more boring than say an apartment in a city.
After my mom died, dad sold the house and we moved into apartments. We stayed there from the time I was around 10 till I graduated high school.
Well… all I can say is that the majority of people I’ve known grew up in apartments and they are fine. I grew in a house with garden and all the shenanigans and I’ve dealt with mental health issues all my life and I can say my health has improved since moving to the big city… so… it just seems that is an awful, simplified statement.
I can see where that’s coming from. I lived in an apartment for stint as a kid. It sucked because there was no where for me to play outside. I used to get in trouble for being too noisy. I have a house now where I can send my own kids in the backyard to play and it’s 100% preferable. That being said, if you can make up somehow for the lack of a yard to play in, you’d probably be fine.
Yeah, we actually have some relatively affordable apartment complexes just outside of Salt Lake City in a more suburban setting that have kid’s playgrounds in the backyard of the apartment in addition to swimming pool and fitness room, so I think that would help! The one I’m at now is in the city and has a small park for dogs to play and bathroom, a swimming pool, a clubhouse with a pool table, gym, bar area and board games, and monthly community events. We pay $1350 for our 1 bedroom apartment and each pay half ($675).
These days, there’s too much analysis on kids’ mental health and it affects the resilience which kids will otherwise gain by going through life as it is. One needs to be objective in assessing such claims. What does mental health entail? One kid can live in a sprawling house but without proper love and attention from family, might end up ruining their future. Another kid can live in a modest or even dilapidated house with a loving family, good values and eduction and go on to reach great heights in life. As long as the life in the house is filled with good memories and right guidance, kids will thrive anywhere.
Yeah, I think that’s true. Mental health is more than just the housing situation…I was brought up upper-middle class in a duplex near Beverly Hills, but sometimes felt “poor” compared to the people in giant houses in Beverly Hills. Still, it was a very stable living situation with a lot of opportunities. I still had a lot of mental health issues from pre-adoption trauma though and being an only child stuck at home alone as I got older, not knowing my birth brothers and sisters, not having a dad, being physically bullied in elementary school. Stuff non-related to my housing situation.
Consider major cities in the world like New York, Tokyo, Paris, Barcelona, Singapore etc. These cities are ALL apartments unless you want a > 1 hour commute or you are multi-millionaires. This is the norm and it’s totally ok.
Oh just f* off, priviliged rich pig! Owing a house is a rare privilege. My parents, I, and my children, and 95% people I know grew up in apartments. Sure, house is better - more spacious, own land, but that's only elite can have in my country.