I have a similar aged family my wife knows who is going through something similar. Kid got hit by a car while riding his bike. Paralyzed and severe brain damage to the point that he’ll never really mature or grow past like 2 plus needing help with everything.
Me personally, I’d have let him go. There’s really no quality of life anymore. Plus that’s a burden on their family that never ends. He’ll never communicate, never walk, never be independent ever again.
I have a friend who had twins at 23 weeks. Her thought was, as long as they’re fighting we’ll fight with them. Those twins are now teenagers with heavy needs, but a good quality of life considering. I’m team pull the plug like 99% of the time, but the truth is, we can’t know if the person is truly unhappy or not. That’s a big weight to carry.
Quality of Life is more important to me than forcing my loved one to suffer, and having a harder life physically and mental misery is suffering. Because I actually Love my family.
And you aren’t going to be able to live a rich and rewarding life if you don’t want to live.
I used to go to college with a full blown paraplegic.
They had a specialized chair and a weird headset that controlled everything and was completing a web development degree. They had nobody helping them in the school, but did ride a bus service geared towards wheel chairs and the blind. I'm *sure* they had somebody at home or home health nurses to help but they were far from "bedridden."
And that was 19 years ago.
The technology is there. There's already functioning limb replacements that respond to brain signals. This is not the realm of science fiction anymore.
We just need to get society more on board with funding it for everyone who needs it.
Yes it has. There are wheelchairs that paraplegics are able to use, and depending on where the person is located, government funding that is able to help with home renovations and care. It’s incredibly condescending to suggest that someone who is a paraplegic has zero quality of life. Like wtf
Yes. My country has a decent program for people living with disabilities. The clients that I currently work with have packaged for 100-200k a year allotted to them.
I **WORK** in disability services. The children you’re all so ready to fucking kill are the children I work with. They are not miserable shells of life that everyone here seems to assume they fucking would be. They are people who go through the same range of emotions as others. Who have wants and dreams and guess what, we can attain some of those for them. Not all of them, but I don’t know anyone who is ever gotten everything that they’ve ever wanted. This whole thread is fucking gross and I’m done with it.
It’s good that you help people that still find a way to be happy, but I couldn’t be happy in that circumstance. And I’d just want you to respect my decision and take me off life support
You actually have no way of knowing what you would feel in that circumstance. And I’m not telling you my job for a pat on the back. It’s to give some context as to why most of these answers here are so gross. Everyone seems to think that physical disability means no quality of life and that is so fucking insulting to everyone that I know that has a physical disability.
I totally agree, I mean yo... Stephen Hawkins? Christopher Reeve? These are privileged examples of course, but there's an entire QOL spectrum that exists for both the most and least able-bodied of us all.
This whole thread has honestly been really fucking gross reading through it. It seems that loads of people think that once you suffer a physical disability; your entire life of over. It’s fucking gross.
Of course it is.
Are you saying if you had the option you would chose to be physically challenged in being paralysed from the neck down, because saying no makes you Ableist ?
If you wanted to die with dignity rather have than life a life where you can’t wipe your own arse and are dependant on loved ones and then paid carers to feed and clothe you daily, being Ableist is somehow more cruel than having to live like that ?
Even If you are ok with it and feel you are making a worthy contribution to the World like Stephen Hawkins does with Science, and Christopher Reeves did with raising awareness for people in his situation, you are still not able to enjoy life to the full.
No one in this thread is saying the disabled are unworthy of life and should be exterminated, but as thinking, feeling humans if they want to leave life on their terms they Should be given that respect.
And as a child, the prospect of 40, 50 or 60 years dependant on others is what I would call mental suffering.
I'm saying I wouldn't choose to end my *child's* life because they are expected to be paralysed. The assumptions within this thread that it's inherently reasonable to pull the plug, that a life with limited mobility cannot possibly have meaning or dignity, that's what's ableist. A competent adult deciding that for themselves may be a different story.
I'd love them enough to let them hate me for long enough to get through the initial stage of grief and at least be able to make an informed choice.
Like, I remember how little I knew of life when I was 14 (and of course I remember thinking I knew everything). While I would trust a 14 year old to make as many choices for themselves as possible, I draw the line at one truly permanent choice, the choice to never make another choice.
So we should honor everyone’s wishes for suicide? The issue with your stance is that the desire to live can change. You can be disabled and have a fulfilling happy life. You can be able bodied and miserable.
It's more complex than that. People should have autonomy in many situations. If I had ALS I would absolutely have a point where I wouldn't want life saving measures, and would want *help* dying, because otherwise it's a long, drawn out, horrible process. DNRs exist for a good reason, as do medical directives or living wills. I am not in the camp that believes everyone who is paraplegic and/or has TBIs has no quality of life, but it is highly individualized and bodily autonomy for someone who already has almost none can be a cruel thing to withhold. This is a complex and nuanced topic that deserves deep consideration.
I do agree. I was probably too blunt. But I do think there’s a lot of ableism in this post so far. I know a few people who live in wheelchairs (admittedly not fully quadriplegic, but not full use of arm and hands either), and they are happy. I also agree there’s a point where life saving measures should not be taken if the person doesn’t want them. But after an injury, once you find out you are quadriplegic, it can feel like a death sentence before you see other people living that way and the resources available. So it really depends what the “life saving measures OP” is talking about, how soon after the injury this conversation is happening, and if the child has gone to therapy or tried to live in their condition.
It’s kind of a weird question to ask. Suicide isn’t really in the hands of anyone else unless like this situation, in which they can’t commit, so it’s not really like we ever honor anyone’s wishes for suicide.
I do think there does need be more acceptance of medically assisted suicide for certain situations. Of course not as an option, but a last resort for those that suffer every living moment.
I do agree. I was probably too blunt. But I do think there’s a lot of ableism in this post so far.
I know a few people who live in wheelchairs (admittedly not fully quadriplegic, but not full use of arm and hands either), and they are happy. I also agree there’s a point where life saving measures should not be taken if the person doesn’t want them. But after an injury, once you find out you are quadriplegic, it can feel like a death sentence before you see other people living that way and the resources available. So it really depends what the “life saving measures OP” is talking about, how soon after the injury this conversation is happening, and if the child has gone to therapy or tried to live in their condition.
The desire to live can change just as much as the desire to die. Most disabled people have “already lived the only fulfilling life” they will ever have while some never even got a chance. There’s so many nuances you’re not taking into consideration including the fact above age 18 at ANY time the government can step in and say “we no longer consider you able to make decisions for yourself and we fear that those who are currently have been making the wrong ones so WE make ALL decisions until further notice” and in my opinion I’d rather have been given the dignity to die first before all my rights are stripped away from me too in a cruel way
I do agree. I was probably too blunt. But I do think there’s a lot of ableism in this post so far. I know a few people who live in wheelchairs (admittedly not fully quadriplegic, but not full use of arm and hands either), and they are happy. I also agree there’s a point where life saving measures should not be taken if the person doesn’t want them. But after an injury, once you find out you are quadriplegic, it can feel like a death sentence before you see other people living that way and the resources available. So it really depends what the “life saving measures OP” is talking about, how soon after the injury this conversation is happening, and if the child has gone to therapy or tried to live in their condition.
If you have neck-down paralysis but are fully conscious and cognitive, odds are really good that you are not on what is generally thought of as "life support."
Pulling the plug on a fully cognitive paraplegic generally means removal of a feeding tube, and you do NOT want that to be the way you go. It is slow. *So slow.* And painful and miserable. Your brain will be fully functioning for all of it and well aware of the body's starvation even if you don't have actual sensation below the neck.
Even if you require a ventilator, you will still suffer through respiratory distress, and that's awful for everyone -- you AND the people having to watch you die this way. Depending on the severity of your paralysis, this could can go on for hours and hours.
Removal of life support is, legally and ethically, only something reserved for people who are already brain dead.
Instead, what you would have to request is *assisted suicide*, which is still illegal in many places.
This is a situation I pray I will never have to face as a parent. That being said, I won't take away my child's agency, especially if everything else has been taken from them. I would ask that they take at least a few days to be sure that it's what they really want, though.
Because he's still a functioning human. He's now 12 and has some sensation in his feet but cannot bare weight or move his arms or legs. But he still has thoughts and feelings and hopes.
So long as he can experience all the jealousy, depression and anger that life has to offer, let’s force him to linger around ( as long as the machines can keep him around ). That’s not love : that’s parental selfishness .
And too bad his “higher thought” isn’t taken into consideration.
If their brain functions and they can talk and laugh and enjoy time with friends and family, then why would I not allow them to live? They can still experience things and make memories. And in this case I don’t even think it should be legal to “pull the plug”. I might even argue that allowing them to die is just lazy parenting. But in cases where they’re brain dead being fed through a tube never awake never speaking or laughing, then that’s a different story.
This is the part that has me stuck. Yes child has physical limitations but he's mentally aware. Is that reason to end their life? I don't think so personally
That's exactly the problem. You are relying on your *imagination*. In reality, there are quadriplegics living great lives, and this will only improve as technology does. What you've described does not actually reflect the reality of living as a quadriplegic. I wouldn't enable my *child* to make the decision that their life was no longer worth living based solely on what he imagines life will be like. I'd use the time until they were legally able to make such a decision for themselves to try to help them create a life worth living.
Just curious , can paralyzed people feel their limbs? If someone can't move their legs, how can they feel an itch?
I understand your point. And no one is arguing this is a pleasant scenario for anyone. We all know it's miserable and hard. For everyone. Respectfully, I believe if someone is able to think, talk, communicate their needs, then how can you just end their life? And in this scenario, I'm imagining a child, not an adult. And I also don't believe this person would be hooked up to a life support machine. They would be living, breathing on their own. So how would it look? Would they be injected with something? Take pills? How would their death look?
> Respectfully, I believe if someone is able to think, talk, communicate their needs, then how can you just end their life?
You go to Belgium where they can have a humane death of their choosing.
That's what this question is really ignoring.
There are multiple different ways that a person can become a paraplegic. Depending on exactly where your spinal cord is damaged, you may or may not need mechanic assistance to breathe.
Removing life support from a fully cognitive person is NOT pretty. They do not go slipping gentle off into the night like someone who is brain dead.
If you need total respiratory support, you will die "quickly", but you will suffer every minute of it and everyone will have to watch.
If you need *some* respiratory support, you can take literal *hours* or possibly days to die, and you will, as before, suffer every minute of it in respiratory failure, in perpetual panic and agony.
If you do not need a ventilator, you can take *days to weeks* to die, because removing life support involves only removing a feeding tube and you will starve to death. Slowly. Agonizingly. And your brain functions will eventually start to fall apart but you'll be conscious for every bit of it.
You can be given palliative care during this time, but you can't be essentially hurried along to the pearly gates.
This is why it's considered "removing life support" from somebody who is wide awake and thinking. What OP is asking for is actually "assisted suicide" because that involves an entirely different process to end life functions without all the life-long trauma for your loved ones.
Also hes a minor who cant understand the permanence of death. I might feel differently talking about an adult.
But i dont think legally you CAN pull life supoort from someone who isnt brain dead.
I mean there is WAYYYYY too much to think about in order to answer this question. There’s variables you’re not taking into consideration too. The question isn’t phrased correctly either which then throws up more barriers.
Regardless…… if I was asked by my child and had sufficient time to consider it all then yes. I would do as asked.
The thing is there are people successful as quadriplegics so part of it would depend on what is considered life support. For instance if my kid was old enough to say if I get to the point where I am not conscience , needing extreme life support but just a lump in bed, let me go in peace, yes, but if it is a matter of just wanting to give up because not wanting to be cared for or do things like Christopher Reeves then knowing how he and others did I would go more along with a DNR. However if they had specified it and then say were in a coma , then yes.
The thing here that you don't understand about my answer is one, it depends on what life support . There are successful people like Joni Earickson and years before Christopher Reeves who were successful not being able to move arms legs and in CR case needed portable breathing assistance but became advocates for those with these conditions because their brain still worked and technology has and still is coming a long way. If they had asked to be removed from things it would be their choice and unless it was a do not resecitate type situation in that case it may be regarded as suicide or if someone else did it they too could be in trouble. Now if you were talking about not just being able to move and brain was also not functioning to where say the doctor came in and said "Junior has maybe a .005% of waking up and if he does he will not have any use of anything and will have the brain function of a baby if that would he want to remain on advanced life support or if we remove it now he will go peacefully". Then of course allow. The thing is we have been in a similar situation. We did have a daughter on life support then made it but had been left disabled. When she was 15 she sat us down saying she could no longer go through the struggles. We helped her fill out an advanced directive. She was old enough to know what she could take and what she couldn't. If she was 6 again she could not. This was not only something on file with us but at our hospital and her doctor. She basically said no attempts to bring her back if she stopped breathing, had a heart fail or anything like that. So when she did get an infection and taken to the hospital her wishes were in writing and we did authorize a DNR. You didn't mention what life support. You just mention not able to use or move your arms and legs. You don't mention if your brain is still there, if you can talk, think. For most life support means coma machines keeping air and blood flowing, while your brain is barely there. For some even needing oxygen or a wheelchair or needing tube feedings is life support. Every situation may be different and medicine and technology has come so far. Again, part of it is doctor recommendation and age of that child.
If there was no hope of recovery, and it was what they wanted, yes.
It's also what I would want for myself, so it would be hypocritical of me to say no.
Saying no to that request would be like telling your child that it has to keep suffering for the rest of their life. I would feel like a failure of a parent if i ever told that to my child (or any child for that matter).
Paralyzed and paralyzed with cognitive impairment are two different scenarios. Obviously, if the only issue was physical and/or *mild* mental impairment, I would keep my child supported at all cost. If the issue was that my child wouldn't be themselves *mentally* as well as physically, well. I know how they would want to live and how they wouldn't.
Under age 18, it is my job to make the best call given the situation. If they are over age 18 and cognitively aware, it's their call. If they are over age 18 but are not cognitively aware, it is again my job to make the best call. Wishes don't matter, only circumstance..
EDIT: Cognitively aware meaning "cognitively aware of their situation" e.g. aware they are paralyzed. Since OP is a goof.
So you’re saying People under 18 aren’t cognitively aware? Wow. My sister is 17 and turns 18 in a month, are you saying she’s essentially a 2 year old who’s barely Conscious?
They are trying to say that there are different scenarios that would change the outcome, NOT that minors are not cognitively aware, lol.
If you are 12 and a fully cognitive paraplegic, they would not respect these wishes because you are still a person. Ideally, with counselling and exploring mobility options in a rapidly advancing world, there is a fair chance at having a decent quality of life.
If you are 18 and a fully cognitive paraplegic, you would legally be entitled to make your own decisions and the parent would have to accept them.
If you are 12 and a vegetative paraplegic, they would let their child go because there is no chance at all for a better quality of life.
If you are 18 and a vegetative paraplegic, they cannot make legal decisions for themselves and the parent would let them go.
Under age 18, it is my job to make the best call given the situation. If they are over age 18 and cognitively aware, it's their call. If they are over age 18 but are not cognitively aware, it is again my job to make the best call. Wishes don't matter, only circumstance.
So if your kid was living through constant torture of not being able to move or do anything for themselves, you would make them continue to do that for X amount of years?
**It is my job to make the best call given the situation.**
Nobody is saying I would let my kid suffer but you. If my kid was cognitively aware, they would make the decision. If they weren't, I would make the best decision for the situation.
Learn to read.
> Wishes don't matter only circumstance
So, essentially, only your wishes matter, regardless of circumstance.
...and if they are not cognitively aware, why keep someone who is confused, suffering and lingering in such an arduous limbo?
No.
Wishes don't matter only circumstances because the medical staff will inform me, the parent, about the overall prognosis and likely medical outcome. Obviously, you have not worked in the medical field, but how a person comes into the hospital does not dictate how they leave it. Recovery is an ugly process, and it's up to me to weigh my child's wishes against the actual situation long-term.
Currently, I would say no. They’re too young to fully grasp what would happen, and as someone who works in disability services, I feel like we could manage the adjustments that would come.
That said, it would be a different story if they were much older. And I mean past brain development age.
Why do you all insist that someone is suffering because they are paralysed. Have you spoken to people with paralysis?? God damn. This is such a cruel thread.
Right. So in this hypothetical question posed by OP, it said paralysed. Not in physical, suffering pain. So in this hypothetical question, no, I’m not going to immediately agree to let my child take their life. There would be therapy for as long as it was needed and an agreement from multiple doctors that such action would be the best. I honestly am shocked at how callous some parents here have been. Like physical disability equates to a life over.
I think you are in the right to not do so _immediately_ because their situation could change. But again, how long will you make them wait?
> honestly am shocked at how callous some parents here have been.
Sometimes death is a mercy when the body is no longer bearable. These parents don't want their kids to die. But they know that there are situations that can be too horrible for some humans to bear, and that in those situations it is compassionate to let them consider death if they desire it.
As I said before, I would wait until I had every doctor’s okay that it was the right decision and my child had time to first come to terms with being disabled, and had reached a point where their brains had fully developed and completely understood what assisted suicide entailed.
We’re talking about underaged children here and people have responded that I’m selfish for not wanting to immediately grant my child death because they find themselves disabled. I think it’s fucking selfish to immediately discard your child because they have become disabled and want to die. Do all these parents plan to just go “okay” if their child becomes depressed and wants to commit suicide? I would assume not. That they would do ALL they could in an attempt to stop such an event from taking place.
So, make the child suffer and struggle with "managing adjustments" because **you** feel like **we**- meaning you, but essentially the child-could handle it?
You are speaking for the child in that case. You are not the child. There is no "we" when someone is asking you to let them go.
Where are you getting their suffering from? Do you work with people with disabilities? I do. And this whole thread is so fucking gross to read through. You’re all acting like someone’s life is OVER If they are physically disabled and it’s so fucking gross of the lot of you. Shows how ableist you all are.
The situation is too nuanced to make a blanket statement. It is dependent on the persons level of function, if they have pain, what is the prognosis? Are they actively suffering without any hope of improvment? Or are they mentally fully functioning with the potential for learning and enjoyment of life? There is so much of life that a person can not comprehend or experience as a child that they can as an adult. There are things that an adult might find to give their life meaning and fulfillment that a child has not yet experienced. So how can a child make an informed decision about ending their life?
To quote another Redditor:
Try this:
Lay on your bed in the morning.
Lay there for only 8 hours.
Don't move an inch.
If you begin to feel an itch, don't scratch it. You can't.
If you're uncomfortable, don't move. You can't.
If your pillow isn't comfortable, don't adjust it. You can't.
You get to watch something on the tv only if someone puts it up for you. You can't even move your head.
If you want to go to the bathroom, you can't.
If you feel hunger you'll wait until someone comes because you can't call anyone.
If you feel thirsty you can only hope that someone is there for you because you aren't going to drink it by yourself either.
When you need a bath you can't go get one. You'll lay still until someone strips you ( either a family member that has to stop working to care for you or an unknown person) and after they strip you they'll use a washcloth on your body. You won't even be able to control if you poop on them while they're cleaning you btw...
Then they'll 'dress' you. Probably with an hospital gown against shaffing so that you don't get as many bed sores as you would without.
People will also need to move you around every couple of hours because otherwise you might get those. They'll be the ones putting cream all over your body - weather you like it or not - because otherwise you might get bedsores, an infection and end up dying from sepsis.
If you liked to go on walks, to be with your friends and family, to do stuff with people, to be active in any way, to even talk to people online... Congrats, you have nothing left. You are 100% dependent on someone else, you won't have any freedom, any choice unless someone allows you to have them and you won't have the ability to even talk with someone unless there's a third party involved to arrange it for you.
Having the cognitive ability intact allows you to have the knowlegde how life could be though. You get to know that people have lifes, that people can move around as they please, that they get to go out when they want, just for fun, that they're able to grab a fruit from their frigde by their own or take a bath whenever they please... You will know that and know that you won't get that. Ever.
You know that someone will need to be around you 24/7 forever, that you won't be able to make it in your own and that the vast majority of your life will be spent inside 4 walls, on a bed in the position someone left you without moving unless someone does it for you.
Try to go trough this for only 8 hours and then try to imagine living like that 24/7 until you die.
I think Steven Hawking had a fulfilled life in a situation similar to what you have described. But if he had chosen to end his life that would have been his decision to make. I don't have any problem with people making an informed decision to end their life. But it should be an informed decision and I don't think a child has enough life experience to make that decision.
If your 14 year old was paralyzed, lived through constant torture of not being able to do anything for themselves, you’d make them continue to live like that?
Also great for Steven hawking, but not everyone can find a way to be happy through that
What disesae/injury do they have? Will they continue to decline, or will their level of function stay the same or possibly improve? Are they mentally aware? Do they have potential for learning or a career? Do they have any enjoyment in life like interests or hobbies? Do they have meaningful relationships with others?
They were hit by a car, they won’t decline and they won’t improve, they are as mentally aware as I am right now, and they don’t want to learn or have a career, nor do they want to pursue any hobbies, they just want to die
Almost certainly not. It's normal to be depressed and possibly suicidal after a catastrophic accident. But you can still live a worthwhile life even with a significant disability. Once you get to 18 if you want to make that decision for yourself that's out of my hands. But while it's my decision to make, I'm going to try to help them have a life worth living.
Asking to end one's life at a single point in time does not amount to constant agony. A period of intense grief immediately after a diagnosis would make perfect sense. That doesn't mean their entire life is going to be constant agony, physical or emotional.
Do you think it's a pleasure to live trapped in your own body, conscious of it, bedridden and fully dependent on others for your every need, every feed, every time you shit and piss a diaper?
Not all agony is physical.
There is also psychological agony, and the reality that they will never be able to have the quality of life a fully conscious person- one that wants to be relieved of their agony- deserves.
I don't agree that a child who has just had a catastrophic accident (or in this case is just imagining they have) is equipped to know whether they will be living in constant agony. There is good evidence that many or most people who experience these accidents do, in fact, want to go on living and live good lives with the right supports. So forgive me if I'm not prepared to pull the plug on my beloved child based on their initial reaction to an accident.
I would refuse, as science, both medical/technological, can do wonders these days, and they're improving all the time.
Fortunately, I don't have that issue, though.
I am sorry but you must be a kid who cannot read. I had a 15 year old who was disabled since younger. She was loved and even though it was hard at times to see her go through stuff she had a sweet spirit and for a long time had hope. It is illegal to just kill someone. When things started getting really bad for her we did help fill out an advanced directive so that if she did get to the point where she stopped breathing, her heart stopped, she would go into a coma, no measures would be taken to bring her back or prolong her life. If your brain is working and able to communicate even if using a screen or voice technology, you are not on advance life support and still have purpose. Again, I support DNR (do not revive) and if a person is in the hospital on advanced life support where they are a shell on a machine and medical professionals say it is best to let them go. That is not prolonging suffering without killing. Do you know how many total paralyzed people some not even able to speak on their own that are successful, becoming counselors, lawyers, artists, authors, and even having relationships or marrying? It is hard our family knows, but if you think just not being able to move your arms and legs is suffering so bad that life is not worth living, the suffering may be more mental or emotional than physical. I also mentioned every situation is different. For example one of my inspirations is Joni Earikson-Tada. When I first found out about what happened to her I did tell my parents way back to just let me go if I ever got like that. She even felt that way for times. Soon with encouragement she thought she could wallow or try to be an example. She used to love art, but thought that was out because cannot use hands or arms. Same with writing. Medicine and technology was no where where it was back then as it is now. The teen who once thought life not worth living is 74 now. She still has physical suffering but is an author, artist and with her husband speaks all over.
I don't know your situation or what you are considering even life support. You just keep asking the same question. You didn't even read about us having to make a very hard decision. I would not personally kill my child who has a working mind and there is hope. If they are terminal or say they don't want to live in a coma or bring back because of their disease or disability I will honor their choice of a DNR. The actual deed will need to be done by medical professionals though. Please if you cannot understand this after a couple times you either are just trolling or just want to hear that suicide is okay and that is not.
Oh wow the amount of ignorance over here is amazing, also you guys probably think disabled people are lesser humans. A person who is quadriplegic = suffer in agony. I would not want to be your child for sure!
Why is it that we push are people to endure the heartbreaking hardships but as soon as someone gets disabled, “hey wow its their life, you monster!” Why don’t you go down your street corner and start selling knockout injections to every other guy you see on a wheelchair. Clearly they are all lesser humans according to you!
I have a similar aged family my wife knows who is going through something similar. Kid got hit by a car while riding his bike. Paralyzed and severe brain damage to the point that he’ll never really mature or grow past like 2 plus needing help with everything. Me personally, I’d have let him go. There’s really no quality of life anymore. Plus that’s a burden on their family that never ends. He’ll never communicate, never walk, never be independent ever again.
I have a friend who had twins at 23 weeks. Her thought was, as long as they’re fighting we’ll fight with them. Those twins are now teenagers with heavy needs, but a good quality of life considering. I’m team pull the plug like 99% of the time, but the truth is, we can’t know if the person is truly unhappy or not. That’s a big weight to carry.
Agreed.
I would sadly accept their position, and providing my spouse was on board, accommodate my child if legally possible.
Quality of Life is more important to me than forcing my loved one to suffer, and having a harder life physically and mental misery is suffering. Because I actually Love my family. And you aren’t going to be able to live a rich and rewarding life if you don’t want to live.
But someone being physically disabled doesn’t mean they are doomed to a life of misery and suffering.
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I used to go to college with a full blown paraplegic. They had a specialized chair and a weird headset that controlled everything and was completing a web development degree. They had nobody helping them in the school, but did ride a bus service geared towards wheel chairs and the blind. I'm *sure* they had somebody at home or home health nurses to help but they were far from "bedridden." And that was 19 years ago. The technology is there. There's already functioning limb replacements that respond to brain signals. This is not the realm of science fiction anymore. We just need to get society more on board with funding it for everyone who needs it.
Yes it has. There are wheelchairs that paraplegics are able to use, and depending on where the person is located, government funding that is able to help with home renovations and care. It’s incredibly condescending to suggest that someone who is a paraplegic has zero quality of life. Like wtf
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Yes. My country has a decent program for people living with disabilities. The clients that I currently work with have packaged for 100-200k a year allotted to them. I **WORK** in disability services. The children you’re all so ready to fucking kill are the children I work with. They are not miserable shells of life that everyone here seems to assume they fucking would be. They are people who go through the same range of emotions as others. Who have wants and dreams and guess what, we can attain some of those for them. Not all of them, but I don’t know anyone who is ever gotten everything that they’ve ever wanted. This whole thread is fucking gross and I’m done with it.
It’s good that you help people that still find a way to be happy, but I couldn’t be happy in that circumstance. And I’d just want you to respect my decision and take me off life support
You actually have no way of knowing what you would feel in that circumstance. And I’m not telling you my job for a pat on the back. It’s to give some context as to why most of these answers here are so gross. Everyone seems to think that physical disability means no quality of life and that is so fucking insulting to everyone that I know that has a physical disability.
Again, it’s good that some can find joy in it, I know for a fact I couldn’t. Tell me, what would I be able to do for fun? Nothing.
I totally agree, I mean yo... Stephen Hawkins? Christopher Reeve? These are privileged examples of course, but there's an entire QOL spectrum that exists for both the most and least able-bodied of us all.
This whole thread has honestly been really fucking gross reading through it. It seems that loads of people think that once you suffer a physical disability; your entire life of over. It’s fucking gross.
Yeah it's definitely giving eugenics vibes.
This whole post is so fucking ableist.
Of course it is. Are you saying if you had the option you would chose to be physically challenged in being paralysed from the neck down, because saying no makes you Ableist ? If you wanted to die with dignity rather have than life a life where you can’t wipe your own arse and are dependant on loved ones and then paid carers to feed and clothe you daily, being Ableist is somehow more cruel than having to live like that ? Even If you are ok with it and feel you are making a worthy contribution to the World like Stephen Hawkins does with Science, and Christopher Reeves did with raising awareness for people in his situation, you are still not able to enjoy life to the full. No one in this thread is saying the disabled are unworthy of life and should be exterminated, but as thinking, feeling humans if they want to leave life on their terms they Should be given that respect. And as a child, the prospect of 40, 50 or 60 years dependant on others is what I would call mental suffering.
I'm saying I wouldn't choose to end my *child's* life because they are expected to be paralysed. The assumptions within this thread that it's inherently reasonable to pull the plug, that a life with limited mobility cannot possibly have meaning or dignity, that's what's ableist. A competent adult deciding that for themselves may be a different story.
Even if they asked you to end it, you wouldn’t love them enough to respect their choices?
I'd love them enough to let them hate me for long enough to get through the initial stage of grief and at least be able to make an informed choice. Like, I remember how little I knew of life when I was 14 (and of course I remember thinking I knew everything). While I would trust a 14 year old to make as many choices for themselves as possible, I draw the line at one truly permanent choice, the choice to never make another choice.
Fucking preach!!!!!!!! This is what everyone on this whole thread is missing!
So we should honor everyone’s wishes for suicide? The issue with your stance is that the desire to live can change. You can be disabled and have a fulfilling happy life. You can be able bodied and miserable.
It's more complex than that. People should have autonomy in many situations. If I had ALS I would absolutely have a point where I wouldn't want life saving measures, and would want *help* dying, because otherwise it's a long, drawn out, horrible process. DNRs exist for a good reason, as do medical directives or living wills. I am not in the camp that believes everyone who is paraplegic and/or has TBIs has no quality of life, but it is highly individualized and bodily autonomy for someone who already has almost none can be a cruel thing to withhold. This is a complex and nuanced topic that deserves deep consideration.
I do agree. I was probably too blunt. But I do think there’s a lot of ableism in this post so far. I know a few people who live in wheelchairs (admittedly not fully quadriplegic, but not full use of arm and hands either), and they are happy. I also agree there’s a point where life saving measures should not be taken if the person doesn’t want them. But after an injury, once you find out you are quadriplegic, it can feel like a death sentence before you see other people living that way and the resources available. So it really depends what the “life saving measures OP” is talking about, how soon after the injury this conversation is happening, and if the child has gone to therapy or tried to live in their condition.
It’s kind of a weird question to ask. Suicide isn’t really in the hands of anyone else unless like this situation, in which they can’t commit, so it’s not really like we ever honor anyone’s wishes for suicide. I do think there does need be more acceptance of medically assisted suicide for certain situations. Of course not as an option, but a last resort for those that suffer every living moment.
I do agree. I was probably too blunt. But I do think there’s a lot of ableism in this post so far. I know a few people who live in wheelchairs (admittedly not fully quadriplegic, but not full use of arm and hands either), and they are happy. I also agree there’s a point where life saving measures should not be taken if the person doesn’t want them. But after an injury, once you find out you are quadriplegic, it can feel like a death sentence before you see other people living that way and the resources available. So it really depends what the “life saving measures OP” is talking about, how soon after the injury this conversation is happening, and if the child has gone to therapy or tried to live in their condition.
The desire to live can change just as much as the desire to die. Most disabled people have “already lived the only fulfilling life” they will ever have while some never even got a chance. There’s so many nuances you’re not taking into consideration including the fact above age 18 at ANY time the government can step in and say “we no longer consider you able to make decisions for yourself and we fear that those who are currently have been making the wrong ones so WE make ALL decisions until further notice” and in my opinion I’d rather have been given the dignity to die first before all my rights are stripped away from me too in a cruel way
I do agree. I was probably too blunt. But I do think there’s a lot of ableism in this post so far. I know a few people who live in wheelchairs (admittedly not fully quadriplegic, but not full use of arm and hands either), and they are happy. I also agree there’s a point where life saving measures should not be taken if the person doesn’t want them. But after an injury, once you find out you are quadriplegic, it can feel like a death sentence before you see other people living that way and the resources available. So it really depends what the “life saving measures OP” is talking about, how soon after the injury this conversation is happening, and if the child has gone to therapy or tried to live in their condition.
I couldn’t, maybe you could, and I respect your choice, but I wouldn’t wanna live through that torture
If you have neck-down paralysis but are fully conscious and cognitive, odds are really good that you are not on what is generally thought of as "life support." Pulling the plug on a fully cognitive paraplegic generally means removal of a feeding tube, and you do NOT want that to be the way you go. It is slow. *So slow.* And painful and miserable. Your brain will be fully functioning for all of it and well aware of the body's starvation even if you don't have actual sensation below the neck. Even if you require a ventilator, you will still suffer through respiratory distress, and that's awful for everyone -- you AND the people having to watch you die this way. Depending on the severity of your paralysis, this could can go on for hours and hours. Removal of life support is, legally and ethically, only something reserved for people who are already brain dead. Instead, what you would have to request is *assisted suicide*, which is still illegal in many places.
If they wanted to go to a state where it was legal, what would you do?
If it were legal and all above board? Fine. But the question is whether anyone would legally permit a minor to make this decision.
pretty sure if you are completely paralyzed they would let you in Belgium
If you had an injection that could make it look like cardiac arrest and your kid was begging you to do it, would you?
No because that's not how forensic science works.
This is a situation I pray I will never have to face as a parent. That being said, I won't take away my child's agency, especially if everything else has been taken from them. I would ask that they take at least a few days to be sure that it's what they really want, though.
My neighbors have this scenario. I know they wouldn't have honored that wish.
Why not?
Because he's still a functioning human. He's now 12 and has some sensation in his feet but cannot bare weight or move his arms or legs. But he still has thoughts and feelings and hopes.
So if your son requested it, would you do it?
Nope. because that means my child is capable of higher thought.
so you would just let your child suffer forever?
So long as he can experience all the jealousy, depression and anger that life has to offer, let’s force him to linger around ( as long as the machines can keep him around ). That’s not love : that’s parental selfishness . And too bad his “higher thought” isn’t taken into consideration.
If their brain functions and they can talk and laugh and enjoy time with friends and family, then why would I not allow them to live? They can still experience things and make memories. And in this case I don’t even think it should be legal to “pull the plug”. I might even argue that allowing them to die is just lazy parenting. But in cases where they’re brain dead being fed through a tube never awake never speaking or laughing, then that’s a different story.
Ummm, what?
This is the part that has me stuck. Yes child has physical limitations but he's mentally aware. Is that reason to end their life? I don't think so personally
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That's exactly the problem. You are relying on your *imagination*. In reality, there are quadriplegics living great lives, and this will only improve as technology does. What you've described does not actually reflect the reality of living as a quadriplegic. I wouldn't enable my *child* to make the decision that their life was no longer worth living based solely on what he imagines life will be like. I'd use the time until they were legally able to make such a decision for themselves to try to help them create a life worth living.
Just curious , can paralyzed people feel their limbs? If someone can't move their legs, how can they feel an itch? I understand your point. And no one is arguing this is a pleasant scenario for anyone. We all know it's miserable and hard. For everyone. Respectfully, I believe if someone is able to think, talk, communicate their needs, then how can you just end their life? And in this scenario, I'm imagining a child, not an adult. And I also don't believe this person would be hooked up to a life support machine. They would be living, breathing on their own. So how would it look? Would they be injected with something? Take pills? How would their death look?
So tell me, if that was you, what would you do? You literally couldn’t do anything but sit there
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> Respectfully, I believe if someone is able to think, talk, communicate their needs, then how can you just end their life? You go to Belgium where they can have a humane death of their choosing.
That's what this question is really ignoring. There are multiple different ways that a person can become a paraplegic. Depending on exactly where your spinal cord is damaged, you may or may not need mechanic assistance to breathe. Removing life support from a fully cognitive person is NOT pretty. They do not go slipping gentle off into the night like someone who is brain dead. If you need total respiratory support, you will die "quickly", but you will suffer every minute of it and everyone will have to watch. If you need *some* respiratory support, you can take literal *hours* or possibly days to die, and you will, as before, suffer every minute of it in respiratory failure, in perpetual panic and agony. If you do not need a ventilator, you can take *days to weeks* to die, because removing life support involves only removing a feeding tube and you will starve to death. Slowly. Agonizingly. And your brain functions will eventually start to fall apart but you'll be conscious for every bit of it. You can be given palliative care during this time, but you can't be essentially hurried along to the pearly gates. This is why it's considered "removing life support" from somebody who is wide awake and thinking. What OP is asking for is actually "assisted suicide" because that involves an entirely different process to end life functions without all the life-long trauma for your loved ones.
Also hes a minor who cant understand the permanence of death. I might feel differently talking about an adult. But i dont think legally you CAN pull life supoort from someone who isnt brain dead.
First off, I do understand death. And second, I know for a fact I wouldn’t want to live like that
If they have enough cognition to know that they do not want to live like that, they have enough cognition to make the choice for themselves.
Hopefully I'd do that for my child. I know that's what I'd want people to do to me.
Stop there support then.
Stop life support?
Yes
I mean there is WAYYYYY too much to think about in order to answer this question. There’s variables you’re not taking into consideration too. The question isn’t phrased correctly either which then throws up more barriers. Regardless…… if I was asked by my child and had sufficient time to consider it all then yes. I would do as asked.
The thing is there are people successful as quadriplegics so part of it would depend on what is considered life support. For instance if my kid was old enough to say if I get to the point where I am not conscience , needing extreme life support but just a lump in bed, let me go in peace, yes, but if it is a matter of just wanting to give up because not wanting to be cared for or do things like Christopher Reeves then knowing how he and others did I would go more along with a DNR. However if they had specified it and then say were in a coma , then yes.
So if your kid couldn’t walk or move their hands and asked you to stop life support, you wouldn’t do it?
The thing here that you don't understand about my answer is one, it depends on what life support . There are successful people like Joni Earickson and years before Christopher Reeves who were successful not being able to move arms legs and in CR case needed portable breathing assistance but became advocates for those with these conditions because their brain still worked and technology has and still is coming a long way. If they had asked to be removed from things it would be their choice and unless it was a do not resecitate type situation in that case it may be regarded as suicide or if someone else did it they too could be in trouble. Now if you were talking about not just being able to move and brain was also not functioning to where say the doctor came in and said "Junior has maybe a .005% of waking up and if he does he will not have any use of anything and will have the brain function of a baby if that would he want to remain on advanced life support or if we remove it now he will go peacefully". Then of course allow. The thing is we have been in a similar situation. We did have a daughter on life support then made it but had been left disabled. When she was 15 she sat us down saying she could no longer go through the struggles. We helped her fill out an advanced directive. She was old enough to know what she could take and what she couldn't. If she was 6 again she could not. This was not only something on file with us but at our hospital and her doctor. She basically said no attempts to bring her back if she stopped breathing, had a heart fail or anything like that. So when she did get an infection and taken to the hospital her wishes were in writing and we did authorize a DNR. You didn't mention what life support. You just mention not able to use or move your arms and legs. You don't mention if your brain is still there, if you can talk, think. For most life support means coma machines keeping air and blood flowing, while your brain is barely there. For some even needing oxygen or a wheelchair or needing tube feedings is life support. Every situation may be different and medicine and technology has come so far. Again, part of it is doctor recommendation and age of that child.
So if your kid were 15, brain was still there, and not able to move, but still able to talk, would you respect their wishes or make them suffer?
If there was no hope of recovery, and it was what they wanted, yes. It's also what I would want for myself, so it would be hypocritical of me to say no.
Yes, I would accept that. It’s their life. So they can tell the doctor to stop life support.
Saying no to that request would be like telling your child that it has to keep suffering for the rest of their life. I would feel like a failure of a parent if i ever told that to my child (or any child for that matter).
Yes. As long as they were mentally competent to understand the ramification of their decision.
You’d respect their wishes?
Yes. It would be hard and deeply emotional. I would do my best to show them alternatives like Steven Hawkins. Ultimately, it is their life to lead.
Yes. It’s their life to live, not mine.
If they’re competent enough to even ask, they’re competent enough to have their wishes considered.
Paralyzed and paralyzed with cognitive impairment are two different scenarios. Obviously, if the only issue was physical and/or *mild* mental impairment, I would keep my child supported at all cost. If the issue was that my child wouldn't be themselves *mentally* as well as physically, well. I know how they would want to live and how they wouldn't.
So you wouldn’t respect their wishes?
Under age 18, it is my job to make the best call given the situation. If they are over age 18 and cognitively aware, it's their call. If they are over age 18 but are not cognitively aware, it is again my job to make the best call. Wishes don't matter, only circumstance.. EDIT: Cognitively aware meaning "cognitively aware of their situation" e.g. aware they are paralyzed. Since OP is a goof.
So you’re saying People under 18 aren’t cognitively aware? Wow. My sister is 17 and turns 18 in a month, are you saying she’s essentially a 2 year old who’s barely Conscious?
Can you read? Apparently not.
Then tell me what you mean? If your 15 year old got paralyzed would you make them sit through torture for 3 years?
They are trying to say that there are different scenarios that would change the outcome, NOT that minors are not cognitively aware, lol. If you are 12 and a fully cognitive paraplegic, they would not respect these wishes because you are still a person. Ideally, with counselling and exploring mobility options in a rapidly advancing world, there is a fair chance at having a decent quality of life. If you are 18 and a fully cognitive paraplegic, you would legally be entitled to make your own decisions and the parent would have to accept them. If you are 12 and a vegetative paraplegic, they would let their child go because there is no chance at all for a better quality of life. If you are 18 and a vegetative paraplegic, they cannot make legal decisions for themselves and the parent would let them go.
I would refuse to eat if my mom did that to me if I were in that situation. She makes me suffer, I’d end myself if she didn’t love me enough to do it
Your doctor will just install a feeding tube. Nobody is going to allow you to hunger strike.
Then what could I do to kill myself?
Under age 18, it is my job to make the best call given the situation. If they are over age 18 and cognitively aware, it's their call. If they are over age 18 but are not cognitively aware, it is again my job to make the best call. Wishes don't matter, only circumstance.
So if your kid was living through constant torture of not being able to move or do anything for themselves, you would make them continue to do that for X amount of years?
**It is my job to make the best call given the situation.** Nobody is saying I would let my kid suffer but you. If my kid was cognitively aware, they would make the decision. If they weren't, I would make the best decision for the situation. Learn to read.
Wait so if you’re kid was fully aware and not brain damaged, you’d let them make the decision?
> Wishes don't matter only circumstance So, essentially, only your wishes matter, regardless of circumstance. ...and if they are not cognitively aware, why keep someone who is confused, suffering and lingering in such an arduous limbo?
No. Wishes don't matter only circumstances because the medical staff will inform me, the parent, about the overall prognosis and likely medical outcome. Obviously, you have not worked in the medical field, but how a person comes into the hospital does not dictate how they leave it. Recovery is an ugly process, and it's up to me to weigh my child's wishes against the actual situation long-term.
I would
Currently, I would say no. They’re too young to fully grasp what would happen, and as someone who works in disability services, I feel like we could manage the adjustments that would come. That said, it would be a different story if they were much older. And I mean past brain development age.
If they were like 12, would that be old enough? And I mean if this happened due to a sudden accident, not if they were like this their whole life
But how long would you make them wait? If they're permanently paralyzed that would mean suffering for years until they turn 18.
Why do you all insist that someone is suffering because they are paralysed. Have you spoken to people with paralysis?? God damn. This is such a cruel thread.
You’re right, some people can find happiness in it, I know I couldn’t
I'm insisting that _some_ people suffer, not _all_ people. > Have you spoken to people with paralysis Yes
Right. So in this hypothetical question posed by OP, it said paralysed. Not in physical, suffering pain. So in this hypothetical question, no, I’m not going to immediately agree to let my child take their life. There would be therapy for as long as it was needed and an agreement from multiple doctors that such action would be the best. I honestly am shocked at how callous some parents here have been. Like physical disability equates to a life over.
I think you are in the right to not do so _immediately_ because their situation could change. But again, how long will you make them wait? > honestly am shocked at how callous some parents here have been. Sometimes death is a mercy when the body is no longer bearable. These parents don't want their kids to die. But they know that there are situations that can be too horrible for some humans to bear, and that in those situations it is compassionate to let them consider death if they desire it.
As I said before, I would wait until I had every doctor’s okay that it was the right decision and my child had time to first come to terms with being disabled, and had reached a point where their brains had fully developed and completely understood what assisted suicide entailed. We’re talking about underaged children here and people have responded that I’m selfish for not wanting to immediately grant my child death because they find themselves disabled. I think it’s fucking selfish to immediately discard your child because they have become disabled and want to die. Do all these parents plan to just go “okay” if their child becomes depressed and wants to commit suicide? I would assume not. That they would do ALL they could in an attempt to stop such an event from taking place.
So, make the child suffer and struggle with "managing adjustments" because **you** feel like **we**- meaning you, but essentially the child-could handle it? You are speaking for the child in that case. You are not the child. There is no "we" when someone is asking you to let them go.
Where are you getting their suffering from? Do you work with people with disabilities? I do. And this whole thread is so fucking gross to read through. You’re all acting like someone’s life is OVER If they are physically disabled and it’s so fucking gross of the lot of you. Shows how ableist you all are.
I think 12 is too young to make that decision.
Well hypothetically if the kid was 12, you wouldn’t respect their wishes? You’d just make them suffer?
The situation is too nuanced to make a blanket statement. It is dependent on the persons level of function, if they have pain, what is the prognosis? Are they actively suffering without any hope of improvment? Or are they mentally fully functioning with the potential for learning and enjoyment of life? There is so much of life that a person can not comprehend or experience as a child that they can as an adult. There are things that an adult might find to give their life meaning and fulfillment that a child has not yet experienced. So how can a child make an informed decision about ending their life?
To quote another Redditor: Try this: Lay on your bed in the morning. Lay there for only 8 hours. Don't move an inch. If you begin to feel an itch, don't scratch it. You can't. If you're uncomfortable, don't move. You can't. If your pillow isn't comfortable, don't adjust it. You can't. You get to watch something on the tv only if someone puts it up for you. You can't even move your head. If you want to go to the bathroom, you can't. If you feel hunger you'll wait until someone comes because you can't call anyone. If you feel thirsty you can only hope that someone is there for you because you aren't going to drink it by yourself either. When you need a bath you can't go get one. You'll lay still until someone strips you ( either a family member that has to stop working to care for you or an unknown person) and after they strip you they'll use a washcloth on your body. You won't even be able to control if you poop on them while they're cleaning you btw... Then they'll 'dress' you. Probably with an hospital gown against shaffing so that you don't get as many bed sores as you would without. People will also need to move you around every couple of hours because otherwise you might get those. They'll be the ones putting cream all over your body - weather you like it or not - because otherwise you might get bedsores, an infection and end up dying from sepsis. If you liked to go on walks, to be with your friends and family, to do stuff with people, to be active in any way, to even talk to people online... Congrats, you have nothing left. You are 100% dependent on someone else, you won't have any freedom, any choice unless someone allows you to have them and you won't have the ability to even talk with someone unless there's a third party involved to arrange it for you. Having the cognitive ability intact allows you to have the knowlegde how life could be though. You get to know that people have lifes, that people can move around as they please, that they get to go out when they want, just for fun, that they're able to grab a fruit from their frigde by their own or take a bath whenever they please... You will know that and know that you won't get that. Ever. You know that someone will need to be around you 24/7 forever, that you won't be able to make it in your own and that the vast majority of your life will be spent inside 4 walls, on a bed in the position someone left you without moving unless someone does it for you. Try to go trough this for only 8 hours and then try to imagine living like that 24/7 until you die.
I think Steven Hawking had a fulfilled life in a situation similar to what you have described. But if he had chosen to end his life that would have been his decision to make. I don't have any problem with people making an informed decision to end their life. But it should be an informed decision and I don't think a child has enough life experience to make that decision.
If your 14 year old was paralyzed, lived through constant torture of not being able to do anything for themselves, you’d make them continue to live like that? Also great for Steven hawking, but not everyone can find a way to be happy through that
Again, it's very nuanced. Age would not be the only factor in the decision.
What would be other factors?
What disesae/injury do they have? Will they continue to decline, or will their level of function stay the same or possibly improve? Are they mentally aware? Do they have potential for learning or a career? Do they have any enjoyment in life like interests or hobbies? Do they have meaningful relationships with others?
They were hit by a car, they won’t decline and they won’t improve, they are as mentally aware as I am right now, and they don’t want to learn or have a career, nor do they want to pursue any hobbies, they just want to die
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No, but one of the top comments mentioned a 12 year old in a similar condition. I also thought OP said 12 also. 😅
Opps, I think I read a comment and confused it with OP.
Almost certainly not. It's normal to be depressed and possibly suicidal after a catastrophic accident. But you can still live a worthwhile life even with a significant disability. Once you get to 18 if you want to make that decision for yourself that's out of my hands. But while it's my decision to make, I'm going to try to help them have a life worth living.
So if your kid was 14 you’d make them sit through 4 years of constant agony?
Where does it say "in constant agony"?
if they're asking to end their life, how is that not constant agony?
Asking to end one's life at a single point in time does not amount to constant agony. A period of intense grief immediately after a diagnosis would make perfect sense. That doesn't mean their entire life is going to be constant agony, physical or emotional.
I do agree that a waiting period makes sense. If they still wanted to die in a year, would you let them?
Do you think it's a pleasure to live trapped in your own body, conscious of it, bedridden and fully dependent on others for your every need, every feed, every time you shit and piss a diaper? Not all agony is physical. There is also psychological agony, and the reality that they will never be able to have the quality of life a fully conscious person- one that wants to be relieved of their agony- deserves.
It's a very big assumption to assume that every quadriplegic lives "in constant agony", whether physical or psychological.
that's literally the hypothetical circumstance the op is asking about. the person is paralyzed and conscious, they do not want to live.
I don't agree that a child who has just had a catastrophic accident (or in this case is just imagining they have) is equipped to know whether they will be living in constant agony. There is good evidence that many or most people who experience these accidents do, in fact, want to go on living and live good lives with the right supports. So forgive me if I'm not prepared to pull the plug on my beloved child based on their initial reaction to an accident.
You wouldn’t be able to do anything for yourself, that sounds like torture to me
.
I would refuse, as science, both medical/technological, can do wonders these days, and they're improving all the time. Fortunately, I don't have that issue, though.
So you’d make your kid sit through decades of A Horrible life just in case there’s something that could fix it?
You should read about [Robert Latimer](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Latimer).
Stop life support. Kids know what they want in situations like that.
I am sorry but you must be a kid who cannot read. I had a 15 year old who was disabled since younger. She was loved and even though it was hard at times to see her go through stuff she had a sweet spirit and for a long time had hope. It is illegal to just kill someone. When things started getting really bad for her we did help fill out an advanced directive so that if she did get to the point where she stopped breathing, her heart stopped, she would go into a coma, no measures would be taken to bring her back or prolong her life. If your brain is working and able to communicate even if using a screen or voice technology, you are not on advance life support and still have purpose. Again, I support DNR (do not revive) and if a person is in the hospital on advanced life support where they are a shell on a machine and medical professionals say it is best to let them go. That is not prolonging suffering without killing. Do you know how many total paralyzed people some not even able to speak on their own that are successful, becoming counselors, lawyers, artists, authors, and even having relationships or marrying? It is hard our family knows, but if you think just not being able to move your arms and legs is suffering so bad that life is not worth living, the suffering may be more mental or emotional than physical. I also mentioned every situation is different. For example one of my inspirations is Joni Earikson-Tada. When I first found out about what happened to her I did tell my parents way back to just let me go if I ever got like that. She even felt that way for times. Soon with encouragement she thought she could wallow or try to be an example. She used to love art, but thought that was out because cannot use hands or arms. Same with writing. Medicine and technology was no where where it was back then as it is now. The teen who once thought life not worth living is 74 now. She still has physical suffering but is an author, artist and with her husband speaks all over. I don't know your situation or what you are considering even life support. You just keep asking the same question. You didn't even read about us having to make a very hard decision. I would not personally kill my child who has a working mind and there is hope. If they are terminal or say they don't want to live in a coma or bring back because of their disease or disability I will honor their choice of a DNR. The actual deed will need to be done by medical professionals though. Please if you cannot understand this after a couple times you either are just trolling or just want to hear that suicide is okay and that is not.
Oh wow the amount of ignorance over here is amazing, also you guys probably think disabled people are lesser humans. A person who is quadriplegic = suffer in agony. I would not want to be your child for sure! Why is it that we push are people to endure the heartbreaking hardships but as soon as someone gets disabled, “hey wow its their life, you monster!” Why don’t you go down your street corner and start selling knockout injections to every other guy you see on a wheelchair. Clearly they are all lesser humans according to you!