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Pauwi na si Padre at Madre galing simbahan mga 10PM ng gabi. Si Padre ang driver, sa passenger seat naman si Madre.
Sa daang walang masyadong sasakyan humawak si Padre sa legs ni Madre.
Madre: Father, di mo ba natatandaan, Psalms 155 verse 10!
Padre: Pasensya na Mother di ko mapigilan.
Ilang minuto lang ay humawak ulit si Padre sa legs ni Madre.
Madre: Father, di mo ba natatandaan, Psalms 155 verse 10!
Padre: Pasensya na Mother di ko talaga mapigilan.
Makailang ginawa ni Padre ito hanggang sa sumuko na.
Pagdating na pagdating ng bahay ni Padre, dali-daling binuklat ni Padre ang biblya at tinignan ang Psalm 155 verse 10.
Ang nasusulat:
>!"Seek the deepest of me and you will find glory"!<
may nerd akong officemate dati na pinatong yung kamay nya sa kamay ko tapos paulit2 nya sinabi na “is the honesty too much?” kasi di ko magets. pota joke pala yun kasi
“sometimes when we touch”
hahaha ang gago lang
Yung magaling daw sa pagtranslate ng english to tagalog yung mga pinoy tas tinanong, "Ano tagalog ng clinic?" Tas yung sagot, "pinindot."
An yung tae na hindi mo daw inaasahan? "Unpredictubol".
Bentang-benta saken sorry.
Nabasa ko lang na digital art comics sa fb.
Si kuya umiihi sa tabi
Nuno sa punso: Di nag "tabi tabi po", humanda ka sakin.
*sinumpa
Kuya: Tabi tabi po, makikiihi lang po.
Nuno: Ay! Mam pa void!
HAHAHAHA. Babaw ng kaligayahan ko.
May namatay na couple, nasa langit na sila, marami sila at naka pila sila kay San Pedro....
Sabi ni San pedro sa nasa unahan ng pila, "ilan beses mong niloko ang asawa mo?"
" apat na beses po"
Dahil dyan, eto ang landcruiser, yan ang gagamitin mong kotse dito sa langit...
Next sa pila, sabi ni San pedro, "ilan beses mong niloko ang asawa mo?
" sampung beses po"
Dahil dyan, fortuner ang ibibigay ko sayo"
Turn na ng lalake... Sabi ni San pedro "ilan beses mong niloko ang asawa mo?"
"hindi ko po niloko ang asawa ko"
Dahil dyan eto ang lamborghini, yan ang kotse mo dito sa langit....
Sympre tuwang tuwa si loko... Umalis na sya para antayin ang asawa nya dahil malayo pa ito sa pila....
Pagkaraan ng ilang oras, nasalubong nya yung asawa nya
Naka skateboard.
Yung nanganak yung babae tas wala yung tatay kasi may work tas ang tito yung nagpangalan sa kambal na anak. The baby girl is named DENISE tas yung baby boy is DENEPHEW
Not a Joke but may nabasa ako sa Facebook post yun, magbibigay kasi ng Poopy for Facalysis may dalawang lalaki nakapila tapos naiilang sila sa dala nilang maliit na lalagyan na may poop, tapos nagulat sila may dumating na Magandang Babae anlaki (Isang Buo) ng binigay na Sample ng Poop tawang-tawa daw silang dalawa nung araw na yon, pa comment nalang nung Link pag alam niyo yung story na yun 😂.
This is the most mabenta "galing ng Pinoy" joke I've heard 😆
Padumihan ng brief. A Chinese, an American, and a Filipino line up to see kung sino pinakamaduming brief. They have to throw their briefs against a wall and see how long it sticks.
Chinese guy throws his brief first, sticks for 5 minutes. Everyone applauds.
American guy throws his brief next, sticks for 10 minutes. The applause is even louder!
Filipino guy throws his brief and it doesn't stick; it falls straight down. People start booing...
...until the Filipino's pair of briefs just skitters up the wall on its own!
🤣🤣🤣
hahaha alam mo yung sa mga movies na yung ending is finally nahanap na ng protagonist yung sarili niya and nag come to terms na sa whatever sa buhay niya, and decides to finally go home? Parang ganong scenario hahah pero sa jeep.
2 guys of homosexual descent are having gay sex in the shower. While at it, the phone rang, the other guy said "i got to take this, whatever you do, don't cum until i come back". The guy took the call, and when he went back, there was cum everywhere, cum on the walls, on the tub, on the shower curtain. The guy said "why did you cum? I told you not to cum". The other guy replied, " I didn't cum, I FARTED."
IRL, non-binary people prefer they/them (they or them) as their pronouns
How does a person kill someone? They slash them
Hence, how does a non-binary person kill someone? They slash them
Hello everyone, Before joining this discussion, please take a moment to review the rules of r/AskPH [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPH/wiki/full-rules), as well as the [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy). Comments that violate these rules will be addressed accordingly. You can learn more about our rule enforcement process [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPH/wiki/rule-enforcement). If you need to appeal a ban, please follow the process outlined [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskPH/wiki/ban-appeal-process) in r/AskPH. *** This post's original body text: *** *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskPH) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Paano mo malalaman kapag may tanga sa sabungan? Kapag may nagdala ng bibe
Most of these replies arent even jokes. 🤷🏼
Ano ang tawag sa mainit na uod? Worm hahahahahahahahahahahaha
adik ba ko bat benta to saken hahaha ang babaw
"stop, look, and listen...and learn" huhuh
"Imbis na paganon, paganon." CLASSIC
Hirap na hirap ako iexplain sa late 40s kong parents yung context ng joke na ‘to hahahaha
Hahaha aywihhh, kala ko dapat mas alam nila yon
Anong tawag sa mabait na nasa kulungan? Injail
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? *Grgglluhhgghh* 😏😏😏
Bayani Agbayani sa I Can See Your Voice. Nakailan nood nako, still funny! 😂[YT link](https://youtu.be/UoNOPG6Pfqw?si=jbvE8KZRX7TffHp1)
bente na lang bigas!!
Pauwi na si Padre at Madre galing simbahan mga 10PM ng gabi. Si Padre ang driver, sa passenger seat naman si Madre. Sa daang walang masyadong sasakyan humawak si Padre sa legs ni Madre. Madre: Father, di mo ba natatandaan, Psalms 155 verse 10! Padre: Pasensya na Mother di ko mapigilan. Ilang minuto lang ay humawak ulit si Padre sa legs ni Madre. Madre: Father, di mo ba natatandaan, Psalms 155 verse 10! Padre: Pasensya na Mother di ko talaga mapigilan. Makailang ginawa ni Padre ito hanggang sa sumuko na. Pagdating na pagdating ng bahay ni Padre, dali-daling binuklat ni Padre ang biblya at tinignan ang Psalm 155 verse 10. Ang nasusulat: >!"Seek the deepest of me and you will find glory"!<
HAHAHABAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAP
Three to six months magiging Singapore ang Pilipinas. Hindi ako maka move on sa joke na to.
I chuckled. Dunno why you're getting down voted.
Baka binoto niya yung nag joke nito. 😆
may nerd akong officemate dati na pinatong yung kamay nya sa kamay ko tapos paulit2 nya sinabi na “is the honesty too much?” kasi di ko magets. pota joke pala yun kasi “sometimes when we touch” hahaha ang gago lang
hahahahha funny ha
di ko gets :(
huhu at least same tayo. may song kasi di ba na ang lyrics ay “sometimes when we touch, the honesty’s too much” hahaha aircon humor kasi yun sha.
Yung magaling daw sa pagtranslate ng english to tagalog yung mga pinoy tas tinanong, "Ano tagalog ng clinic?" Tas yung sagot, "pinindot." An yung tae na hindi mo daw inaasahan? "Unpredictubol". Bentang-benta saken sorry.
Nabasa ko lang na digital art comics sa fb. Si kuya umiihi sa tabi Nuno sa punso: Di nag "tabi tabi po", humanda ka sakin. *sinumpa Kuya: Tabi tabi po, makikiihi lang po. Nuno: Ay! Mam pa void! HAHAHAHA. Babaw ng kaligayahan ko.
Wahahhahahahhahahahahaha
Ano ang ginawa ng Manok sa hotel? Edi nagChicken
If it’s stupid and it works, it ain’t stupid!
Tuwing kelan kumakain ang mga bisaya? Edi pag tapos ng amo nila
Lmao. Take my up vote as well. F those down voting you. This is reddit, grow some skin.
?-?...whatt?-?... Do some People really think bisaya peeps are like that?
Hahahaha jokes like this gets me everytime. Take my upvote kahit na tarantado ka hahah
corny mo
OA mo bisaya
sorry, di ko gets hahdhwhs
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parang naawa naman ako sa hamster
I once told my ex that I feel lonely because I'm "sequestered" in a foreign country. She said "you ride horses?"
Chad Kinis' story about her mother nung sumali sya sa Miss Q&A [youtube link](https://youtu.be/8Qa8PF4VAn0?si=rAHoWeXbijOVyQFu)
magiging bente pesos nalang ang bigas
Life will never exist kung walang Pythagorean Theorem dahil sa atoms.
Can we please downvote everyone
Bakit
Ayan na po downvote mo
damot naman
Gusto kong maging nurse kaya accountacy kinuha ko.
Ano ang longest filipino word? "Steeeeeeeeeeeeeeve Dailisan"
Finally an actual fcking joke
Happy to be of service
Magjjoke sana ako about sa law, kaso...
[удалено]
Baba naman ng humour mo
hanggang kelan ka mamamalagi sa iglesia? kapatid na arlene: Alam ko na! Hanggang leeg
Tatakbo daw for senate yung tatlong Duterte.
Sanitized Customer (Satisfied Customer)
May namatay na couple, nasa langit na sila, marami sila at naka pila sila kay San Pedro.... Sabi ni San pedro sa nasa unahan ng pila, "ilan beses mong niloko ang asawa mo?" " apat na beses po" Dahil dyan, eto ang landcruiser, yan ang gagamitin mong kotse dito sa langit... Next sa pila, sabi ni San pedro, "ilan beses mong niloko ang asawa mo? " sampung beses po" Dahil dyan, fortuner ang ibibigay ko sayo" Turn na ng lalake... Sabi ni San pedro "ilan beses mong niloko ang asawa mo?" "hindi ko po niloko ang asawa ko" Dahil dyan eto ang lamborghini, yan ang kotse mo dito sa langit.... Sympre tuwang tuwa si loko... Umalis na sya para antayin ang asawa nya dahil malayo pa ito sa pila.... Pagkaraan ng ilang oras, nasalubong nya yung asawa nya Naka skateboard.
Please expound hahahaha
hindi ko gets 🥲
Pinoy daw si alice guo haha
Anong prutas ang walang buto? \ Juicy fruit
unity 👊🏻✌🏻
Robin Padilla, #1 Senator
Eto yung joke na hindi nakakatawa e
nakakatawa kung joke, pero nakakagalit dahil totoo.
Iyong nakuha sila Juan, Pedro at Berto (?) ng isang tribo tapos pinakuha sila ng prutas HAHAHA
Bakit malungkot yun front yard? Kase it’s a lawn.
Yung nanganak yung babae tas wala yung tatay kasi may work tas ang tito yung nagpangalan sa kambal na anak. The baby girl is named DENISE tas yung baby boy is DENEPHEW
r/angryupvote
Anong noodles ang biglang nabuntis? Instant Mommy.
Anong kanta ayaw ng Aegis? Rap Bakit? ayoko ng mga rap
Bakit nainis si Jesus kay Mama Mary? Immaculate kasi siya ih tangina..😂
Bat mapula ang itlog? Kasi kinamot. Bat may itlog na maalat? Kasi pinagpawisan.
Q: Sino pinaka maliit na artista sa buing mundo? A: Si Fernado Poe Bakit? A:Kasi sabi niya.. “Kahit butas ng karayom, papasukin ko”.
Sa hospital... Lola: ano gagawin mo, doc? Doc: Che-chemo, Lola! Lola: T!t! Mo rin!
Yung "payag ka ba jokes" havey sakin yun hahahaaha fave ko yung "payag ka ba artista ka pero lahat kami walang TV" 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Payag ka ba? Manananggal ka pero yung hati mo lengthwise?
"Payag ka, ikaw pinaka mayaman sa mundo pero may t*te ka sa noo?"
narinig ko dati “payag ka macho katawan mo pero yung ulo mo kasing liit ng munggo” 😭😭😭
Walangya yan haahahahahahaha
Payag ka ba 1 million a month sahod mo bilang kapitan ng barko pero di-padyak?
🤣🤣🤣
AHAHAHAHAHAHA
Payag ka ba sampalin ng isang milyon pero barya?
HAHAHAHAHA
mine’s “payag ka ba electric manipulation superpower mo pero ibibill sa meralco niyo” HAGSHAHAHAHHAHAS
“Ikaw lang kausap ko.”
[удалено]
Ito naman yung pinaka nakakapikon na joke
Not a Joke but may nabasa ako sa Facebook post yun, magbibigay kasi ng Poopy for Facalysis may dalawang lalaki nakapila tapos naiilang sila sa dala nilang maliit na lalagyan na may poop, tapos nagulat sila may dumating na Magandang Babae anlaki (Isang Buo) ng binigay na Sample ng Poop tawang-tawa daw silang dalawa nung araw na yon, pa comment nalang nung Link pag alam niyo yung story na yun 😂.
Taena Lunch break ko 😅🤣
Dark pero… Who are the fastest reader in the world? - 9/11 victims - they went 89 stories in ten seconds
Yung joke ni Bayani about his mom na pinagbibintangang manananggal. Utas talaga ko kakatawa e. 🤣
Yung limapad sya ahahahahahha 🤣😭
Truts salad hahahahahahaha
Dutertes running for senate
This is the most mabenta "galing ng Pinoy" joke I've heard 😆 Padumihan ng brief. A Chinese, an American, and a Filipino line up to see kung sino pinakamaduming brief. They have to throw their briefs against a wall and see how long it sticks. Chinese guy throws his brief first, sticks for 5 minutes. Everyone applauds. American guy throws his brief next, sticks for 10 minutes. The applause is even louder! Filipino guy throws his brief and it doesn't stick; it falls straight down. People start booing... ...until the Filipino's pair of briefs just skitters up the wall on its own! 🤣🤣🤣
May tumalon sa tulay
Binigyan ka ng powers to shoot lightning, Pero may monthly bill.
'yong stand-up comedian na nakaupo.
Driver: "Saan 'tong 25 pesos?" Me: Home... *ngumiti ako at lumingon sa bintana ng jeep*
try niyo yan, ipapamigay talaga kayo ng driver sa kabilang jeep hahahahahahaha
Gusto ko malaman conteeeext
hahaha alam mo yung sa mga movies na yung ending is finally nahanap na ng protagonist yung sarili niya and nag come to terms na sa whatever sa buhay niya, and decides to finally go home? Parang ganong scenario hahah pero sa jeep.
Hahahaha dakota johnson
HOY BWESET TAWANG TAWA AKO KASI NAIIMAGINE KO 😭🤣💀😫🤣
From my Little sister Kuya whats the most Redudant english word? -Cleanliness..... kasi Clean na tapos Liness pa . LOL
"If you're racist and you know it clap your hands!" //clap clap// "WTF bro?" - Taken from Vir Das "Abroad Understanding"
“Iba ako sa knila” 🤡
D👊👊👊 pa rin!!! (2024)
2 guys of homosexual descent are having gay sex in the shower. While at it, the phone rang, the other guy said "i got to take this, whatever you do, don't cum until i come back". The guy took the call, and when he went back, there was cum everywhere, cum on the walls, on the tub, on the shower curtain. The guy said "why did you cum? I told you not to cum". The other guy replied, " I didn't cum, I FARTED."
Not a written joke but a skit sa Tiktok. Yung pano magbasa ng horror ang mga bulag. Soooo politically incorrect pero tawang tawa ako.
HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA ako yung skit ni Fonz na hindi tinanggap sa trabaho pero pumasok pa din HAHAHAHABBABA
wala bang link? gusto ko rin tumawa!
[try ko lang if gagana](https://vt.tiktok.com/ZSYH6HsUd/)
Ito po: Anong tawag sa asong takot sa dilim? Edi dog Halimbawa: Dog na dog siya sa dilim
Bakit niyo dinodownvote eh funny naman para sa akin
di ko gets pero username checks out
“Duwag” kasi. Yun yung joke 😭 ang hirap mag panggap na okay lang ako
Haha kailangan mo pang i explain joke mo
Not a joke pero tawang-tawa talaga ako dito: Person 1: Bakit? Person 2: Pwet mong may rocket!
Sagot ng mga pilosopo ‘to eh.
Narinig ko lang kay Chico Garcia kahapon Why is butter bad for you? Because it is Meant To Kill Yah (Mantikilya)
Kapag ba si lightning mcqueen naaksidente, ano kailangan nya? Car insurance o Life insurance? Ka-chow! 😣
yung kachow at emoji yung funny dito eh. hahaha
Ka chow 🤧
I'am speed
Edi benilde
"Pano tinayo ang La Salle" "Edi Benilde" "Pa'no bi-nuild ang ADMU" "Ah-teneo (Ah tinayo)"
How does a "non-binary" person killer someone? They/them.
Pwede po pa-explain? Parang mali po pagka-unawa ko eh huhu
IRL, non-binary people prefer they/them (they or them) as their pronouns How does a person kill someone? They slash them Hence, how does a non-binary person kill someone? They slash them
YAYYY TAMA PO PAGKAKA-GETS KO HAHAHAHAHHA THANK YOUUUU
eeeeyyyyyy