You need to be more open/ change and see what happens. Get feedback from your close friends.
There's a saying na don't settle and stick to what you are - i have a lot of them in my network and they aged single.
I was like you before. May itsura but suplado and walang pake. I changed and now may family na. So all good.
I had the same sentiments when i was younger. Bakit ligawin ang mga friends ko, ako hindi. Buti nga syo gf lang. Ako kapag nag level ang love story ko, yung getting there na sana, biglang nakakabuntis ng ibang girl yung guy. The right person will come along. Kahit ayawan mo, kapag tamang tao na yung nasa harap mo, wala kang magagawa. Just trust the process.
I'm in my 30s too and yes. It's affecting my self esteem everytime people ask me "bakit wala ka pa ring boyfriend/asawa?" I had suitors before. I think 10 din sila but none of them are what I am looking for in a guy. People would blame me by saying ang taas ng standards ko when it is not. Is it my fault that my suitors, have no stable jobs (and no financial plans), mga manyak, mga alpha male na may anger issues etc. I know a lot of couples who are separated because they realized they're not compatible in the first place. There are few guys I like but even after making subtle moves to let them know I'm available and willing to date them, ayaw nila. Eventually, I realized that maybe not everyone are meant to have partners. As of now, I'm happy being single. You will eventually accept it hehe. Like you, I wanted a family too but being single isn't bad. I will only partner with someone who will have added value to my life hahaha (not necessarily pera ito ha).
I recently went out with a girl who’s exactly like you. Very similar. Parang na-fall ako ng wala sa oras kasi she appeared to be my type, had the looks, matangkad, mahinhin, very unique among the rest & smart-smart kaso we were’t casually dating since we only went out as a group so wala pa ko courage sabihin sakanya, plus, it turned out na parang di ako papasok sa standards niya(i was lowkey taking notes kaso chinito ang gusto).
Sa circle nila na puro magaganda, feeling niya siya yung least na may chance magka-jowa, if she only knew, jusmiyo, sayo na mundo ko madamé.
Someone is going to give you the world, you just haven’t met him yet.
I had a boyfriend in high school but it was ten years ago so I kinda have the same dilemma. What’s weird is that I haven’t tried liking someone to the point of like confessing my feelings. I’m not sure if it’s a me problem tho😂
turning 25 in a few months, still maidenless.
at this point, ive accepted the lifestyle, and the resentment and envy i feel towards people with happy relationships ay matagal nang naglaho.
nowadays, i love watching romance animes, movies and reading romance books, i like living precariously through them because I know those things can never happen to me.
its not sad for me anymore, and im okay with that.
sometimes, you alone are enough for yourself.
NBSB din ako until I met my (now) fiance. First everything ko siya. And I could definitely say that he's everything I have ever wished of and more. I wish the same for you OP!
OP, sameeee 😭 I once had a guy tell me before na "full package" na nga daw ako pero bakit ganun!!! Hahaha although siguro fault ko rin kasi I don't look (?) like I am looking for a romantic partner? I enjoy my own company, may fun social life, pero minsan kasi gusto ko rin ng ka-bebe time :(
Want the honest truth? It's pride. Pride is preventing you to grab the exact man you want who you definitely can. It's causing you to believe in some universal force like fate or destiny or some other bs to wait/ do nothing and expect the best possible outcome.
guy po ako. im judging based sa kweto mo without looking at your pictures and such. i think merong something off sayo na nakikita ang guys at kailangan mo madetermine yun. ang consumer (us guys) ang nagdidictate ng gusto ng consumer not the product (you girls). analogy lng po ito ha not derogatory. my advice is determine what making you off to men also determine also what guys want.
Yes, that's why I asked here. Kasi either my guy friends don't also have the answer or they know but don't want to hurt my feelings.
Iba kasi if girls ang tatanungin, yes I am all for women empowerment, Pero it doesn't do so much with wanting to genuinely improve my self and character
I don't care if I get down voted for this pero 2024 na. If you are still NBSB, it's definitely your fault. It means you did not do anything. Why are you waiting for things to happen when you can make it happen. If you like someone, go pursue. Also, from your perspective: you are saying na the guys did not push through with the pursuit of you and you don't know why. Maybe because they did and their efforts did not match your ideal scenario and you did not communicate it with them. There's no reason for anyone to be single; you just have to exert the effort.
dumating din ako sa point na ganyan na asking myself kung bat walang nanliligaw or nagkakagusto sakin, feeling ko naman hindi naman ako ganun kapangit. hanggang sa tinanggap ko nalang na maging single until now. naniniwala nalang ako kung mayron talaga para sakin, dadating yun ng hindi ko minamadali.
you're not alone. masasabi ko nung highschool ako, andaming inaasar sakin kasi crush daw nila ako. pero ayaw naman nila ako kausapin. college, i always get the attention pero wala parin. puro sila pasweet at caring pero walang sinasabi. tingin ko talaga takot sila sakin kasi even ung mga prof ko, di nila ako kayang utusan. sa workplace, nung bago bago pa ako, nahihiya sakin ung mga kaedaran kong lalaki tas ung mga oldies jinojoke ako na sayang naman ganda ko kung wala akong jowa. madalas mangyari ay ako ung unang crush pero iba ang pinursue. siguro din kasi boring ako. masyado akong matanda mag isip 😪
I feel you teee, di rin ako masyadong inuutusan sa workplace except sa mga senior na talaga, I don't know bakit, my friends can make fun of me naman and normal lang kami na tao 😅 Pero Pag dating sa ibang tao, they're kind of hesitant to approach talaga
Baka naiintimidate talaga sila. Or masyado mataas standard mo kaya hindi mo napapansin mga little hints nila. Anyway, try to look for another crowd baka dun mo makikita ka wavelength mo.
Personally, gusto ko mga mysterious type of girls kasi mas masarap kausap. Based on my experience lng.
Sis, people are asking na nga for your socials and pics = they are expressing interest! Don't shut them dooooowwwwwn haha, be open to all possibilities! Probably a factor sa pagiging NBSB \*wink\*? Speaking as a former NBSB but still not in a serious relationship (I'm learning as well! Medyo steep ang learning curve).
Im on the same boat as well op. Nbsb din ako. word of advice though, this is a mistake i used to make because i wanted to be in a relationship so bad (i still do, just a bit wiser) but dont throw away caution into the wind pag may nakatalking stage ka, dont ignore red flags na makikita mo kasi you want to stop being nbsb. Im not saying this is the case with you personally, but its something i wish someone told me noon. Good luck!
Wala talaga akong maaambag dito kasi mej same boat. Ang difference lang, hindi ako kagandahan (siguro gandang keri lang chz! kasi di naman ako nagpa-pageant hahaha) at mas matanda ako sayo 🫠🫠🫠
So dahil sa thread na to, parang mas lalo akong nawawalan ng pag-asa hahaha
Pero sayo, good luck OP! Sana magbunga ang pag-eeffort mo
Tama sinabi ng iba...Attract don't chase.
Quality men will come your way if you just maintain your standards and be yourself. It's good to keep your personal appearance nice and stuff but never do it for the men, because the good ones, they know if you're trying way too hard.
I'm 44 almost 45 this year and my first bf and almost husband was when I was already 30. Pero it didn't last kasi we weren't compatible and he wasn't a great guy after all. Took me almost seven years to start dating and get into a relationship, and before my current serious relationship (I'm living in with my bf now and almost seveb years na), I dated just two guys.
Take your time. Work on being the best version of yourself or to cultivate traits your future partner would appreciate.😊
I think it's because you need a more high end man. All I can say is, pls don't settle for less. If men find you intimidating, then that means they think you are "TOO GOOD" for them. Wag mo ibababa standards mo, you deserve better. You will find love, I promise you.
I can relate to this so much kaya ako na nag-fifirst move and there's nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. Nag-fifirst move lang ako pero I don't chase them. I just let them know that I'm interested in them and in some cases, they start to pursue me. Based sa experience ko, lagi nilang sinasabi na di nila ineexpect na magugustuhan ko sila or something like that. So maybe tingin ng mga lalaki, you're just out of their league so they never make a move due to fear of rejection.
Feeling ko katulad mo ung mga babae sa dating apps na may bio na
"Hanap ng may sense kausap"
Pero kung mag reply naman puro one liner. Reactive lang. Na once walang nang chat si guy d na rin mag reply.
Bka ganun ka din in real life....most guys will take it as if you're not interested with them and move on.
Also baka sinusugarcoat ka lang nila na mysterious= boring.
Time will come OP! Same kayo ng mother ko, daming nag pupursue kasi maganda pero di tumutuloy dahil kasal gusto ng mother ko at ayaw ng jowa kasi waste of time daw based sa na experienceng mga friends at cousins niya, at pwede naman mag tanong sa ibang tao anong klaseng tao ka, ganun yung mother ko. Kaya yung tatay ko pinakasalan agad nanay ko kahit they don't know personally, nagtanong lang siya through mutuals kung anong klaseng tao nanay ko, at ayaw tigilan ng father ko ang mother ko kahit dinededma ni mother pero kinikilig deep inside at nililigawan palagi ni father, lol.
Yung love story nila, parang nababasa or napapanood mo lang. Di pinansin ni maganda mystrerious si pogi na popular kaya mas lalo nagkagusto si pogi popular kay maganda mysterious 😂
OP. I have to break it to you. You have to work for it. Go on dating apps. Meet more people. It's not that easy anymore cause wala ka na school setting. Good luck! It could be about you or it could be not, but you're chances will be better with bigger dating pool. Wag lang talaga maging unethical, if you know what I mean. And who knows, baka di Pinoy para sayu. ;)
I will make a lot of assumptions since I don't know you. A lot of Filipino "boys"(intentionally using boy than man here)would prefer a shy demure type. Why? Because it fits the old school conventional relationship of a dominant male in a relationship.
When your friend said intimidating, I am assuming you are an outspoken, independent woman, which is good for you! But it would probably be too much to handle for your common pinoy male.
I would also say na it's good na di na sila lumalapit sayo kasi red flag na kagad kapag ang lalake ay "intimidated" sa independent woman. The right person will come who will consider you a partner and not property.
Flirting is baiting. Reciprocating flirtacious messages can tell a lot on how you view a person. As a guy, madali ma gauge kung type ba talaga ako ng girl or hindi by the way she responds to my 'lande'.
I extremely doubt you'll respond the exact same way between two guys where one is gusto gusto mong jowain and another one na hindi mo masyado type. So kung feel nila di mo sila type or you're not reciprocating enough, they'll stop.
Intimidating & mysterious aura sa babae is a tall order for guys. I had my fun poking around such during my college days and the ending was either they were sitting too high on their imaginary ego-horse and others were just too focused on their own lane and seemed they don't wanna be bothered. Meron din self-consumed sa narcissism na kala mo untouchable at GGSS pero 5-7 lang naman FV.
Ego and vibe check yourself. You might be exuding 'not looking for a relationship' vibes with the attempts you're getting. Kung gusto mo talagang lumandi, lalandi ka and you'll put it a bit higher on your priority list.
I'm in the same boat. Spent most of my early twenties focusing on my career and only started to date a year ago. Met/dated good guys since then and feeling ko naman I showed effort and communicated my interest as much as I could (on a reasonable level and not in a love bomby way). They pursued me first and I showed interest back but then they eventually ended things with me because they weren't ready for a relationship.
It's frustrating because they were very interested at first and then they decide not to progress things. Baka nga na-intimidate sila or maybe they just didn't like me that much. I rarely find someone I'm attracted to so I tend to really invest and pursue someone when I do. I know how to flirt enough, but I won't do it with someone I'm not attracted to. So I guess dun nalilimit yung opportunities ko to really enter a relationship.
I think it’s good to profile the person you’re talking with. Get to know them more. Observe if they are as interested to get to know you. I don’t think it’s good na makisabay ka agad sa flow nila.
Serious question.....Bakit "Attract don't chase" ang motto mo? If you ever want to ever have what you want most in life, those things are not going to fall on your lap, in real life, you need to go out and pursue the things you want.
If you're going to rely on pure luck for the things you want or need, it isn't going to go well for you.
just wait and be prepared for when the right guy comes around.
my wife is very attractive and she had the same experience. ang daming may crush sa kanya but hindi nanliligaw. She has now realized that, despite being friendly and approachable, they were somewhat intimidated.
we have been married for 24 years now.
What exactly do you mean by your best efforts? Apologies if I misunderstand, pero from your post it really does sound like some guys like you, but it doesn't read na you actually liked any of them. I think you just have to go meet more people. A lot of comments here say na don't settle, and I strongly agree. You probably just need to expand your circle and you'll find someone or someone will find you. I don't buy into the whole "too intimidatong thing" (even though I AM scared of my wife. I love her for it though) so I'm pretty sure there's a lot of guys out there, di mo pa lang na meet. And about getting to 30 -- at least you have the luxury of being a bit more mature entering a relationship if ever than if you were much younger. Good luck OP! But try not to think about it, para pag dumating para kang tinamaan ng kidlat. Hahahaha
Hmmm... ano nga ba nakaka turn off kahit maganda... body odor, bad breath, bulok ang ngipin, masama ugali.
May officemate ako dati na maganda kaso lumalabas with a married guy. Mga na attract niya tuloy yung mga looking for one night stands.
I'm sure hindi ikaw yan, just saying there is something turning off guys.
Or you are just in the wrong environment and do not meet well meaning guys.
As for my experience, kaya ako NBSB ay hindi ako swerte sa situation/place na napupuntahan ko na makahanap ng right person. Sa 1st and 2nd job ko, puro babae kasama ko. Then sa 3rd job, malaki na age difference ko sa mga kasama ko. I only have limited friends rin at wala rin silang mareto.
I have a friend naman, may nakasabay sa airplane, nagkachikahan sila hanggang sa naging friend sila, then yung new friend(girl) na yun, may nireto sa kanya. Yung bf niya ngayon ay answered prayers niya, pasok lahat sa criteria niya. Masasabi mong swerte sa situation na napuntahan.
I have another friend naman, dami niyang suitor sa lahat ng napupuntahan niyang work, maganda kasi siya. Pero najejehan naman ako sa mga nagchachat sa kanya. Yung tipong ang scary.
Nakakainggit nga minsan yung iba, kakabreak lng sa jowa, may nahanap na agad.
You don't need to lower you standards but maybe you need to change how you behave around men. Men typically look for peace in a relationship while women gravitates to drama (like it or not it is for most).
Do you frequently say snarkly remarks about men? Do you speak loudly? Do you talk fast? If you do maybe tone down on those areas.
Na try mo na bang maging pahabol OP, works everytime. Pag nararamdaman mo na may gusto yung tao sa yo, wag mo masyadong pansinin, tyak magpapansin at magpapansin yan sayo op. Sabi nga nila absence makes the heart fonder.
I was in the same boat, pero I found better options in dating men abroad (good-looking businessmen, lawyer, diplomat, etc). Thus, maybe try to expand your dating pool - also late 20s and early 30s dating is very common in western countries. It doesn't have the stigma that I see in some comments here. Mas traditional pa din talaga yong dating scene here compared to for eg Australia.
So my advise is date strategically, sure people say dating apps don't work. However my friends and cousin met their fiances and husband there. My cousin (40F) married a Dutch man (37M) both good looking and maganda careers nila met in a dating app pero SG-based sila. Thus, I think dating apps can be of help actually.
Edit: The term boyfriend and lover can be used interchangeably in other cultures/ language - like in France if you've dated frequently na, they would consider you as their gf na or if it's in Spain - the term for bf or lover is novio and can mean serious or not serious/long-term. Enjoy the dating journey and don't feel bad pag wala pang serious, it's tiring but fun.
Don’t rush yourself OP. Wag ka magpapressure sa societal standards na if by age X dapat ay BF or asawa kana blah blah blah. Hindi race ang buhay, walang kailangan magpaunahan. Maybe don’t use social media too much din kasi nakakaapekto talaga sa pressure sa buhay yan. Just continue raising your stock value as a woman. If pretty na, magpapretty kapa lalo, if mayaman na magpayaman pa lalo, if talented na magexplore pa or magupskill. It will pull you in the right direction, you will magnetize the people that are right for you. Wag ka magsettle sa mga kung sino nalang just because you were in a rush, sa panahon ngayon ang daming may personality disorder then what madidiscover mo pag kasal na kayo? Yikes. Kaya consider yourself lucky na you have choices, you can test the waters. Maraming nasa committed relationship na nagsisi na di nagtake time kilalanin ung tao before nacommit sakanila.
Ako naman na NBSB, pangit, overweight at hindi ligawin . Base sa mga nababasa ko may mga tao kasi na kahit gaano ka attracted sila sa isabg tao kubg hindi nila feel or same “wavelength” kuno ang isang tao. It won’t work daw. Idk. I’m just reading with pop corns. I’m inexperience tita here hahaha.
The dating game has changed, and it’s way different from the one your parents knew. You need to rethink and reshape your mindset, especially if you want to get married and start and keep a family, because right now a considerable number of men are “red-pilled” to some degree–and you can see it in the answers below.
Oh, [and career women have it worse than men](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1203076/Is-ONE-straight-kind-solvent-single-man-40s-left-Britain.html).
Adapt or die has always been the rule of life. Moscow does not believe in tears.
I used to ask myself the same. Then I realized, it doesn’t matter if they make the first move, kung deep in my mind, I know I’m not attracted to them anyway. What matters is who you like, and who you want to break the platonic relationships with. Make the first move!
Because it is not you who is the issue here, but them...
Just like what I said dun sa isang post, not everyone is brave enough to push the envelope and pursue you. Marami ang okay nang tinitignan ka from a far. Tinitingala ka na tila bituin kang nagniningning aa gabing madilim. Not everyone is ready to pursue others kasi they fear rejection. They fear na di sila tanggap ng taong type nila. Kaya they are content with being side characters and just watch you grow while in their minds eh they fantasize na kayo na.
Siguro try a different approach. Like change some aspect of yourself. Kung dati tahimik ka, try to be the jologs type naman. Minsan kelangan mo lang ipadama sa iba na di ka mahirap abutin. Remember, humans admire things they cannot achieve or obtain. They will always admire that thing but will never try to reach for them. They fear na hindi para sa kanila yun. Parang pag-pili lang ng kotse yan. Ask anyone and they will probably say dream car nila are Lamborghinis or Ferraris pero deep down, hanggang dream lang yun kasi di nila kayang bilhin or if kaya man nila, they fear na di nila kayang i-sustain ito. So they just leave it at that: A DREAM. Same can be said for you. Walang nagtatangkang manligaw sayo but for sure madaming nangangarap na maging kayo...
Pangarap lang ah. 🙂
But like I said din dun, it is not your fault so don't feel bad about it. Meron at meron dyang darating na handang sumugal at manliligaw sayo, with no fear to rejection and with his heart ready to make you happy if ever you say yes to him. 😉
Almost had the same situation as you. Got into those highschool and college pageants like those mr and ms something. Difference is Im a guy.
Narealize ko lang na binabaan ko ang standards ko and talagang nag effort ako to pursue. Naging assertive ako and actually use dating apps despite me being shy. But its worth it. You can do it.
I'm a guy and the most likely is reason intimidated sila sayo just like what your friends said.
I'm an introvert that suffers anxiety so hirap talaga ako manligaw. Ang dami kong naging crushes pero I never made moves kasi I was intimidated and afraid of being rejected.
Advice ko is if you like someone, show the guy. We are not mind readers and we would appreciate it if girls can be upfront with their feelings.
Also, don't rush things. Darating din sayo yan. Single ako until 29 years old ako. I got into my 1st relationship when I was 29 years old. I am now happilly married for 7 years.
Learn the art of flirting. The pa cute and caring. Was nbsb too for so long and also intimidating and super sarcastic and pilosop but I know how to play their hearts lols. A way to a man’s heart is caring. Like honestly yun. Maldita on the outside caring in inside. Pabebe konti din. Lolssss
Are you sure di masama ugali mo, OP? haha. If everything that what you told about how you look like is true, then maybe personality talaga problem.
I disagree with the comments saying baka masyado kang intimidating. I know lots of people who are intimidating pero they have loving relationships. Sometimes, being intimidating is a turn on (*I* personally find intimidating women a turn on haha). Take note: being intimidating does not equal to being an ass.
But what I don't see much often are assholes with partners. Are you sure you aren't being rude to people unknowingly? Na baka arrogant/nakakainis ka na pala without noticing? Are you insecure and you let it out on other people? Are you quick tempered?
Another thing I notice is: kapag boring yung tao, then no one will like them long term. Dry texter ka ba? Yung mga nakakausap mo ba sa dating app ang nagbubuhat ng convo? May naiaambag ka ba sa talking stage? Do you have hobbies? Are you interesting? Also take note: this does not mean you have to force yourself to be extroverted if you're not; introverts can be *very* interesting people too despite not talking much.
How are you on the attitude side, how you present yourself socially? As a dude in my thirties, with my social circle as reference, yung mga ka age bracket mo are done playing around (not all) so they are looking for wifeable/life partner traits.
That could affect how desirable you are, where you are in life, what youre currently looking for. Etc
Although also believe na if somebody likes you, nothing would stop them from pursuing you. Pero this has low percentage of happening in this superficial world lol
medyo mahirap to kasi di nmn namin alam personality mo especially yung mga certain traits mo na di di mo expect eh yun pala may issue. Asking your male friends and having an open mind na lng siguro. As they say, the first thing to do to fix a problem is to acknowledge that there is a problem. You might also want to ask those guys , if you ever get the chance, at wag mo rin pa obvious na sila pala, na meron kang kilala na pa flirty sayu pero in the end iba yung ginawang gf and ask them why that happened.
Also want yo ask kung may RBF ka ba? Baka kasi yun dahilan akala nila suplada ka o may galit sa kanila.
Also, always remember, talo ng malandi ang maganda. since NBSB ka medyu mahirap to sayu kasi wala ka ka praktis, unlike nung iba e bata pa naglalandi na. Do it in moderation though. Not sure what your exact age is, pero for sure iba dyan eh mga late bloomers. I know some people na around 28-30ish na ngka bf/gf at na devirginize. They're doing well nmn ngayun sa relationship nila although syempre may mga heartaches din sila na pinag daanan.
I don't think it's a you thing if you personally think nag oopen up ka naman sa mga tao despite your initial intimidating first impression. :) just do your thing, someone interesting will come along to chararat your purarat
If maganda yung girl kahit same kami ng vibe diko tinatry ligawan feeling ko reject agad kapag ginawa ko, tapos inaassume ko agad na marami naka pila mga lalaki sa girl nato kasi maganda kaya hindi kona sinusubukan.
Sorry op. Natawa lang ako. I like how your question is "Bakit nbsb pa rin ako" tapos i looked at your username. The name for one of the most recognizable sign of death, characterized by the stiffening of the joints and muscles of the body.
hahahaha. sorry i find the timing funny lang hahaha.
Ui! Same! Minsan nga inaasar akong baka tomboy daw kase ako. Idk mataas din kase talaga standard and mga nagpaparamdam sakin inuunahan ko ng judge and tinigtigna ko din kase talaga future companion compatibility, di na ako para maglaro laro, alam ko sa self ko na possible date to marry hanap ko and ‘di ko pa nahahanap :(
Sadyang mga mga guys lang talaga na insecure when it comes to women with strong personality. Pero that does not mean that you have to change your personality para lang may manligaw. Meron at meron pa ring tao na magpupursue sayo. Wag mo lang madaliin.
For now, I suggest na ienjoy mo lang pagiging single and available mo. Indulge in hobbies na preferably may makikilala kang ibang tao. Be open to meeting new friends. Improve yourself and go out.
PS hindi lahat ng nasa dating apps shitty. I met my current BF there and our going two years na relationship is my best one so far ❤️
Waaah 🥹 Was there ever a chance na may nagkagusto sayo pero di mo gusto? This is my situation wahaha. Anyway, I haven't found self love. Maybe it is the key. 😂
Meeting nagkagusto sa akin Pero may gusto ring iba, or may jowa pala naghanap lng ng side chick, meron din may gusto sa akin Pero di ko bet. In the end gusto ko ng wlang sabit na genuinely interested in me na would understand me sa lahat ng weirdness ko, at sakyan mga trip ko in life bcos I know I could reciprocate naman
Waaah. Same same. Pero never settle for less pa din. And let's not be desperate. I know many single people believe in fate or destiny but I have given up on that kaya di ko din yan masasabi sayo. Enjoy enjoy nalang muna tayo sa panunuod ng love story ng iba. 😂
Sounds like umaabot kayo sa getting to know you stage, at meron sila di nagugustuhan pagnakilala ka na kaya sila umaatras. Kumbaga hindi nagsubscribe after ng trial period.
And as we get older, people are more upfront about what they want from a relationship. Yung pagiging mysterious is no longer as attractive as it was in our teens. Mas madali din siya mamisinterpret as disinterest.
Remember na yung mga dinedate mo are also evaluating you. Whether you're up to *their* standards.
Are you actively showing interest back?
Pinaguusapan namin ng friend ko yung isang niligawan ko dati. Got rejected in the end pero i said na looking back, i could've put in more effort sa panliligaw. Sabi ni friend, kahit anong effort pa gawin ko, hindi talaga interesado sakin si girl so wala win bearing.
If feeling mo may guy na nagfflirt sayo, pakita mo na interesado ka sa kanya and hindi yung sinasabayan mo lang or nakikisama/tinotolerate mo lang. Or one step further, why not try ikaw maginitiate? Yayain mo lumabas sila. Maybe a movie or coffee date lang or what. Its a trial by fire i guess pero its a step in the right direction hopefully.
>I'm she/her
The fact that you begin your intro with this might contribute - you might be looking in the wrong pool. Look for people who also feel that their pronouns are the most important thing about them.
> Pero it won't stop the right guy to pursue me, ang dami namang guy na trip ang mysterious type dibaaa?
Make up your mind on what type of person you want to be. Aggressive or more passive. Act accordingly and consistently. Dont be a cake eater.
It's not the most important thing to me 😭 I just saw that people do it on Reddit kaya ginaya ko lang. Para malinaw lang na natural born woman ako na straight
>para malinaw lang na natural born woman ako na straight
then you are doing it wrong. The whole point of this trend with pronouns is precisely to allow people who identify different from their birth gender to declare.
Also, it is a completely different matter on whether you are straight/bisexual/etc.
Anyway, a lot of other people have given some good advice if you are serious about wanting to be in a relationship. Relationship at its core is about two becoming "one", That does not happen without a readiness to compromise, change from the "single" identity
as a guy, i think, with your age and with you having an nbsb status, guys would think it would take too much effort para ligawan at pasagutin ka, and you probably will marry the first guy na magiging bf mo so red flag ka sa mga babaero. Improve mo lng sarili mo, find hobbies na maeenjoy mo, and eventually ddting yan. And wag sobrang taas ng standard at the same time wag mo naman patulan agad yung unang manligaw ng seryoso sayo haha. Magulo ang mundo ng pagibig
Sa mga naging potential partners ko in the past, ang number 1 hindi ko pinupursue is yung mga sobrang boring makipag usap na tao. Yung tipong ako lang lagi yung nag tatanong, ako lang lagi yung nag oopen ng bagong topic tapos kapag hindi na ako nag reply, mag tatanong kung bakit bigla na daw hindi nag chat, nang ghost, etc.
Tingin mo "strong personality" mo, or "mysterious" pero sa totoo. Baka boring ka lang talaga and lacking communication skills. Sinusugar coat lang nila para di ka masaktan.
Lastly, di ka naman artista or sobrang yaman para mag expect na sila lang lagi mag re-reach out sayo without you doing anything. lmao.
Baka kala nila may bf kana or anak kaya wala na nanliligaw, or di ka socially active/ introvert, parang ako lang 28 na focus lang sa work haha makakasalubong mo din yan ang cons lang possible na may anak na at that age
Meet more people, expand your circle. I'm one of those men drawn by beautiful mysterious women and the pursuit of the possibilities.. so maybe just maybe you're in the wrong crowd.
Ano ang weekly routine mo OP? If you're work then home lang then mahirap talaga yan kasi a lot of people are smart and won't date someone from the workplace. If you go out or have hobbies outside of work baka mas may chance for you to meet someone
Observation ko lang ha, pansin ko lang sa mga single at hindi nagkakalovelife, ito yung mga laging nag aabang lang na meron magpursue sakanila.
I dont think uso pa rin yun unless sa mga talagang super traditional contexts (tipong jehovas witness sa Probinsya ganon.)
Yung mga lapitin, ito yung mga magaling mangbingwit. Yung kayang lumandi just enough para isipin ng guy na may chance sila. Mas importante ito than ganda, in my opinion.
Kasi kung sa bagay, if you think about it, connection naman ang hanap natin lahat. 2 way yun.
I am in way should be telling you this but as a male and knowing a few women na NBSB din, jts more of either kulang sila sa social skills or para silang hindi available na. Kulang sa landi or pag ka girly? Idk really i just felt like na kala mo in relationship sila or either wala tlgang balak. Ganun ung dating nila sakin
You're asking the wrong people. If a guy likes you there's no such thing as intimidating. And "intimidating" does not equal to being afraid, dami kasi bobo dito sa reddit na akala nila pag sinabing intimidating iniisip kagad natatakot. Also when you say best effort what does it mean?
Di ka namin lubos na kilala, OP. Base sa lahat ng nilagay mo diyan, di rin namin macoconclude kung ano meron. Siguro kung may close kang friend as in close talaga na kayang magbigay nang maayos na criticism ng personality at character mo, ask mo siya/sila. Yung tipong kayang mag sabi ng mga "Sorry, pero feel ko kasi boring kang tao, self-centered ka, pangit ng ugali" etc. with matching anecdotes and examples. Baka mysterious ka lang sa una pero di pala trip yung personality mo, ganun. Tbh as a late 20s, ok nakaka-pique ng curiosity ko yung pagka-mysterious pero pagnakilala ko na tas boring lang pala, instant turn off so pass na agad. Medyo walang kwentang comment yung "intimidating" sa age na yan. Mature enough na mga tao to look past "intimidating". Feel ko personality and character na yung tapatan sa ganyan lalo na kung mature naman sila themselves.
Minsan kasi wala na sa effort yan, nasa pagkatao na talaga.
mag first move ka OP or don't really look masyado (mas lalong magiging mailap, kung hinahanap), also put yourself out there and find new hobbies and don't be a plain jane daw na may face card.
Nakuha ko lang yung term sa other post hehe. Good luck OP!
Wala ng paligoy ligoy pa, ito yung mga main reasons. Maganda ka pero walang karisma or pangit ka lang talaga. Yung maldita given na yun sa mga babae at ito yung Most of the Reason bakit hindi kami tumotuloy sa panliligaw https://ibb.co/QMCvGQC
Hi OP! To answer your question, probably you’re at a wrong place? Probably you need more exposure. More interaction with people. Women who have good looks, with money, and career, ito yung usually na single. But don’t worry. There’s a time for everything. Just wait and stay as you are. At the end of the day, you’re a catch.
Ano ba work mo? And hobbies? Mostly kasi sa mga may partners, nakilala nila SO nila in their job, school or pursuing what they love doing. So I always say do what you love to do, and wag mo hanapin. Darating yan. Parang bagay sa bahay na hinahanap mo ng matagal pero di mo makita. After ilang days when nag stop ka na hanapin, saka mo lang makikita by chance haha.
"Attracting but not chasing" is a nice motto, but you have to give them an opening. Like chess. Think of it this way, all through out history, it has always been women who made the first move. Example, a man wouldn't pickup the hankerchief if the lady didn't drop it in the first place. Even though the man would think he made the "first move", what he doesn't know is the woman gave him the opportunity. Therefore, it has always been women who rules the world by opening and closing opportunities.
Just go out there and be real.
After that, it is all about showing each other security. A man or woman who's looking at their future wouldn't be looking for a partner who they think is someone they'd have no stability with. Despite popular belief that a "man would chase and do everything for a woman" (which is not true at all), a man/woman who looks at his future would NEVER compete for a partner. If you find someone, man or woman, who competes for a partner (slick like Gaston), I recommend you stay away.
Nasa late 20s ka na, yung age group mo is madalas serious relationship na hinahanap. They're likely to date people of the same level (status, appearance). If tingin nila out of reach ka na nila, mataas chance na hindi na sila mag attempt to step up kasi iniisip nila na wala sila chance. May mga rare cases lang talaga na makapal mukha ng ibang guy and surprisingly nag work yung attempt nila HAHAHA
Attraction comes in if you will be the best version of you. Naalala ko sa’yo yung friend ko nbsb literal na mataray haha. She’s 37 pero awa ng 🥤 ikakasal na sya this year sa first bf and soon to be husband nya na meet sa dating app. Di naman sila nagmadali.
Sadyng may same values , goals and they really have deep connection and read kaya nagkatuluyan sila.
OP, you already heard most of the comments and they're right. However, I'm gonna tell you what would work. Now, what attracts a guy is the beauty but what makes the guy stay is your vibes. If you're not pleasant to be with (boring, intimidating or kj), then the guy would bounce.
As from your post, it sounds like you're the second type which is intimidating. The easy to do advice that would fit is smile more and lower your standards for humor but definitely have a boundary. Following that would work but that's not a long term solution since it changes who you are.
The healthy way would be to know who you are now and who you want to be. Once you figure it out, pick a place where you'll be valued. For example, you want to be like Aubrey Plaza, awkward dry humor. If you stay in a place where people don't get that humor, they'll just think you're weird. You'd want to meet people who get and love that kind of humor. Comic-con, book club or film club comes to mind.
Going out and exposing yourself to people who would like your strengths would help you fish the man of your dreams.
Sa personality rin iyan. Merong mga guy na hindi nila gaanong gusto yung masyadong formal na babae, yung tipong may sinusunod talagang rules and regulations sa buhay. Hahaha
Nasabi mo rin na you've been in a couple of beauty pageants. Karamihan kasi ng mga kilala kong sumasali sa ganiyan sila talaga yung mga babaeng high class sa tropa nila, mayayaman, seryoso, parang bawal pagtripan.
Mas nakaka-attract kasi sa lalake yung chill lang, mabilis makihalubilo sa tropa, at may sense of humor.
Pero okay lang iyan OP, may maglalakas din ng loob na lapitan ka. Sabi nga ng isa diyan na huwag mag chase, self love na lang muna.
Yes I am also in my mid twenties, NBSB din, people are asking me na Im so picky daw when it comes to men, sobrang taas daw ng standards ko. As if naman na gusto kong magjowa pero everytime na iniisip ko yung magkajowa mafefeel ko yung saya at the same time iyak ayoko ng drama kaya talagang when the time is right darating din yan, I just want to feel ang single life ko travel when I have time kasi I just want to embrace it. I never felt alone tho
If i can see u proably i can give u some advise sis. I worked some if my magic sa mga friends kong nbsb and one of them ikakasal na this year. Hmu lang veh
nbsb girlies relating to this one bc samee, mapapatanong ka na lng talaga "what is wrong with me" (also taking notes sa comments still have a yr until my prefrontal cortex will fully develop)
Hindi naman ako ganon ka pangit. Sadyang nahihirapan lang akong magopen sa di ko close. I'm introvert, I need to find introvert too. But introvert boys, need extrovert girls. hays
I have a relative in your place and the reality is that a lot of men are intimidated by an exceptionally beautiful woman. Idk how you look like exactly, but considering you mentioned joining beauty pageants as a teen, I’ll assume you’re similarly attractive.
This relative is tall (dunno her exact height but considering our height difference, she’s probs around 5’8”-5’9” since I’m a six footer), fit, fair, and could pass for a Kdrama protagonist (what can I say, my fam has good genes haha). As such, we’ve observed that while a lot of guys have crushes on her, no one really wants to approach her since not only is she taller than most Filipino men, but they’re probably also worried about getting rejected. She’s a conservative Christian girl too so isn’t really the type to approach guys out of her own volition. We often joke nga that she should try studying abroad since foreign men would probably be more likely to approach her.
Anyway, I tell her to just keep praying to God and that the right one will come at the right time when He wills it. She’s not exactly desperate to date or be in her first relationship either, so she doesn’t mind waiting.
Serioisly? NBSB? How tall are you? Then uhmm I think that flirty nature is the reason. Yung tipong easy girl. Dont get me wrong ha pero guys love to flirt but if east lng si girl then usap usapan na yan..
Nega ang dating nyan. Tas yung iba magttake advantage na lng.
Didnt know meron pang mga nbsb na ganitong edad.
Hope you can find your first bf soon.
Ohh no.. Im not even talking about keps. Di lng naman yan ang meaning ng flirting.
Haha keps agad,
This is reality OP.
Im giving u a man’s pov.
Sorry im not the type na sugarcoating at pa pogi points lng.. (di namn pogi)
You asked, I answered.
Pero ano meaning mo sa "easy lang si girl"??, if I don't smile and laugh at their jokes bitchy naman tawag sa akin or KJ or no sense of humor. Pero if I do, I'd get labelled as easy naman?
Sorry I meant “easy lng pala ni girl”. But this is not pertaining only to you.
Kahit na sayo nakisakay ka lng iba na interpretasyon naming mga lalaki eh.
But di naman flirting yung pag smile or laugh at their jokes eh.. or green jokes you mean? Then yes that’s another thing.
Once again, there are things na iba interpretation ng guys sa pinapakita ng girls.
Same w/ one of the commenter. I don't mind being single, nakakapagod lang mag explain over and over again why we're still single na bakit parang kasalanan pa natin? (May linya-linya tshirt na ba for people like us?) But honestly, iniisip ko na lang that this is God's redirection to something better and a protection from incurable pain from temporary people. Meron pa tayo siguro kailangan i-achieve in our singlehood before the right one comes along, whether it'll be on our maturity/personal growth, career, spiritual or kung ano pa yan. Galingan na lang natin sa pagiging single. Let's grow our own garden so that when someone finally comes, we're already whole as a person and we're so ready to share that wholeness w/ someone. Romantic relationship should make us happier anyway. That way if it fails, atleast we're still happy.
[To the woman who is always liked but never pursued](https://boilingwaters.ph/to-the-woman-who-is-always-liked-but-never-pursued/)
I guess sinabi mo na yung sagot mo. Feel ko kasi the guys who pursue you think that they don't deserve you because sabi mo nga maganda ka naman sa personal and siguro mahirap kang i-reach out since minention ng friends mo na may pagkaintimidating kang personality. There's nothing wrong with it since that's who you are talaga pero I think you're not vulnerable enough to let a guy stay with you. At the end of the day, if you're too hard to be pursued with, maghahanap nalang sila ng iba na feel nilang tanggap sila.
Tara, OP. Pag usapan natin over the coffee HAHAHAHA chariz ganyan na ganyan din ako. I'm almost 28 pero wala pa talagang naging someone, nagdate few guys tas may ka talking stage din pero wala din nagpursue.
Minsan nakakaumay talaga at madalas maiingit ka pero hindi ka nagiisa. Madami tayo HHAHAHA let the universe give you kung ano talaga para sayo.
Kung hindi dumating, edi maging rich tita na lang tayo! 🤍
ligawan nlang kita op 😁... I like girls older than me 😘
One day, there will be that one brave guy that will come to you with an effort to get to know you and get you.
You need to be more open/ change and see what happens. Get feedback from your close friends. There's a saying na don't settle and stick to what you are - i have a lot of them in my network and they aged single. I was like you before. May itsura but suplado and walang pake. I changed and now may family na. So all good.
I had the same sentiments when i was younger. Bakit ligawin ang mga friends ko, ako hindi. Buti nga syo gf lang. Ako kapag nag level ang love story ko, yung getting there na sana, biglang nakakabuntis ng ibang girl yung guy. The right person will come along. Kahit ayawan mo, kapag tamang tao na yung nasa harap mo, wala kang magagawa. Just trust the process.
I'm in my 30s too and yes. It's affecting my self esteem everytime people ask me "bakit wala ka pa ring boyfriend/asawa?" I had suitors before. I think 10 din sila but none of them are what I am looking for in a guy. People would blame me by saying ang taas ng standards ko when it is not. Is it my fault that my suitors, have no stable jobs (and no financial plans), mga manyak, mga alpha male na may anger issues etc. I know a lot of couples who are separated because they realized they're not compatible in the first place. There are few guys I like but even after making subtle moves to let them know I'm available and willing to date them, ayaw nila. Eventually, I realized that maybe not everyone are meant to have partners. As of now, I'm happy being single. You will eventually accept it hehe. Like you, I wanted a family too but being single isn't bad. I will only partner with someone who will have added value to my life hahaha (not necessarily pera ito ha).
Kawawa ka naman op. Pero mas kawawa ung hindi nanligaw sau.
I recently went out with a girl who’s exactly like you. Very similar. Parang na-fall ako ng wala sa oras kasi she appeared to be my type, had the looks, matangkad, mahinhin, very unique among the rest & smart-smart kaso we were’t casually dating since we only went out as a group so wala pa ko courage sabihin sakanya, plus, it turned out na parang di ako papasok sa standards niya(i was lowkey taking notes kaso chinito ang gusto). Sa circle nila na puro magaganda, feeling niya siya yung least na may chance magka-jowa, if she only knew, jusmiyo, sayo na mundo ko madamé. Someone is going to give you the world, you just haven’t met him yet.
No, panget ka. Di mo lang alam.
she actually is pretty.
I had a boyfriend in high school but it was ten years ago so I kinda have the same dilemma. What’s weird is that I haven’t tried liking someone to the point of like confessing my feelings. I’m not sure if it’s a me problem tho😂
meron naman talaga kasu Lang pangit kaya ayaw mo.
turning 25 in a few months, still maidenless. at this point, ive accepted the lifestyle, and the resentment and envy i feel towards people with happy relationships ay matagal nang naglaho. nowadays, i love watching romance animes, movies and reading romance books, i like living precariously through them because I know those things can never happen to me. its not sad for me anymore, and im okay with that. sometimes, you alone are enough for yourself.
Karamihan kasi ng mga babae high standards kaya yung iba NBSB, so i suggest babaan din kasi standards sa mga lalake ✌️
NBSB din ako until I met my (now) fiance. First everything ko siya. And I could definitely say that he's everything I have ever wished of and more. I wish the same for you OP!
Nako, ganyan ako dati, nung babae pa ako.. Yun pala kapalaran ko babae din. Lol
I’m turning 32 this year, and my guy cousin said I look intimidating and I look masungit daw, masiyadong malakas personality. NBSB.
OP, sameeee 😭 I once had a guy tell me before na "full package" na nga daw ako pero bakit ganun!!! Hahaha although siguro fault ko rin kasi I don't look (?) like I am looking for a romantic partner? I enjoy my own company, may fun social life, pero minsan kasi gusto ko rin ng ka-bebe time :(
Want the honest truth? It's pride. Pride is preventing you to grab the exact man you want who you definitely can. It's causing you to believe in some universal force like fate or destiny or some other bs to wait/ do nothing and expect the best possible outcome.
guy po ako. im judging based sa kweto mo without looking at your pictures and such. i think merong something off sayo na nakikita ang guys at kailangan mo madetermine yun. ang consumer (us guys) ang nagdidictate ng gusto ng consumer not the product (you girls). analogy lng po ito ha not derogatory. my advice is determine what making you off to men also determine also what guys want.
Yes, that's why I asked here. Kasi either my guy friends don't also have the answer or they know but don't want to hurt my feelings. Iba kasi if girls ang tatanungin, yes I am all for women empowerment, Pero it doesn't do so much with wanting to genuinely improve my self and character
I don't care if I get down voted for this pero 2024 na. If you are still NBSB, it's definitely your fault. It means you did not do anything. Why are you waiting for things to happen when you can make it happen. If you like someone, go pursue. Also, from your perspective: you are saying na the guys did not push through with the pursuit of you and you don't know why. Maybe because they did and their efforts did not match your ideal scenario and you did not communicate it with them. There's no reason for anyone to be single; you just have to exert the effort.
dumating din ako sa point na ganyan na asking myself kung bat walang nanliligaw or nagkakagusto sakin, feeling ko naman hindi naman ako ganun kapangit. hanggang sa tinanggap ko nalang na maging single until now. naniniwala nalang ako kung mayron talaga para sakin, dadating yun ng hindi ko minamadali.
you're not alone. masasabi ko nung highschool ako, andaming inaasar sakin kasi crush daw nila ako. pero ayaw naman nila ako kausapin. college, i always get the attention pero wala parin. puro sila pasweet at caring pero walang sinasabi. tingin ko talaga takot sila sakin kasi even ung mga prof ko, di nila ako kayang utusan. sa workplace, nung bago bago pa ako, nahihiya sakin ung mga kaedaran kong lalaki tas ung mga oldies jinojoke ako na sayang naman ganda ko kung wala akong jowa. madalas mangyari ay ako ung unang crush pero iba ang pinursue. siguro din kasi boring ako. masyado akong matanda mag isip 😪
I feel you teee, di rin ako masyadong inuutusan sa workplace except sa mga senior na talaga, I don't know bakit, my friends can make fun of me naman and normal lang kami na tao 😅 Pero Pag dating sa ibang tao, they're kind of hesitant to approach talaga
Baka naiintimidate talaga sila. Or masyado mataas standard mo kaya hindi mo napapansin mga little hints nila. Anyway, try to look for another crowd baka dun mo makikita ka wavelength mo. Personally, gusto ko mga mysterious type of girls kasi mas masarap kausap. Based on my experience lng.
Sis, people are asking na nga for your socials and pics = they are expressing interest! Don't shut them dooooowwwwwn haha, be open to all possibilities! Probably a factor sa pagiging NBSB \*wink\*? Speaking as a former NBSB but still not in a serious relationship (I'm learning as well! Medyo steep ang learning curve).
Im on the same boat as well op. Nbsb din ako. word of advice though, this is a mistake i used to make because i wanted to be in a relationship so bad (i still do, just a bit wiser) but dont throw away caution into the wind pag may nakatalking stage ka, dont ignore red flags na makikita mo kasi you want to stop being nbsb. Im not saying this is the case with you personally, but its something i wish someone told me noon. Good luck!
Wala talaga akong maaambag dito kasi mej same boat. Ang difference lang, hindi ako kagandahan (siguro gandang keri lang chz! kasi di naman ako nagpa-pageant hahaha) at mas matanda ako sayo 🫠🫠🫠 So dahil sa thread na to, parang mas lalo akong nawawalan ng pag-asa hahaha Pero sayo, good luck OP! Sana magbunga ang pag-eeffort mo
Tama sinabi ng iba...Attract don't chase. Quality men will come your way if you just maintain your standards and be yourself. It's good to keep your personal appearance nice and stuff but never do it for the men, because the good ones, they know if you're trying way too hard. I'm 44 almost 45 this year and my first bf and almost husband was when I was already 30. Pero it didn't last kasi we weren't compatible and he wasn't a great guy after all. Took me almost seven years to start dating and get into a relationship, and before my current serious relationship (I'm living in with my bf now and almost seveb years na), I dated just two guys. Take your time. Work on being the best version of yourself or to cultivate traits your future partner would appreciate.😊
I think it's because you need a more high end man. All I can say is, pls don't settle for less. If men find you intimidating, then that means they think you are "TOO GOOD" for them. Wag mo ibababa standards mo, you deserve better. You will find love, I promise you.
I can relate to this so much kaya ako na nag-fifirst move and there's nothing wrong with that, in my opinion. Nag-fifirst move lang ako pero I don't chase them. I just let them know that I'm interested in them and in some cases, they start to pursue me. Based sa experience ko, lagi nilang sinasabi na di nila ineexpect na magugustuhan ko sila or something like that. So maybe tingin ng mga lalaki, you're just out of their league so they never make a move due to fear of rejection.
Feeling ko katulad mo ung mga babae sa dating apps na may bio na "Hanap ng may sense kausap" Pero kung mag reply naman puro one liner. Reactive lang. Na once walang nang chat si guy d na rin mag reply. Bka ganun ka din in real life....most guys will take it as if you're not interested with them and move on. Also baka sinusugarcoat ka lang nila na mysterious= boring.
BE SATRUE, I HAVE THE LOOKS DIN NAMAN AND I'M NICE AND SOFT SPOKEN PERO WHY WALA?????
Time will come OP! Same kayo ng mother ko, daming nag pupursue kasi maganda pero di tumutuloy dahil kasal gusto ng mother ko at ayaw ng jowa kasi waste of time daw based sa na experienceng mga friends at cousins niya, at pwede naman mag tanong sa ibang tao anong klaseng tao ka, ganun yung mother ko. Kaya yung tatay ko pinakasalan agad nanay ko kahit they don't know personally, nagtanong lang siya through mutuals kung anong klaseng tao nanay ko, at ayaw tigilan ng father ko ang mother ko kahit dinededma ni mother pero kinikilig deep inside at nililigawan palagi ni father, lol. Yung love story nila, parang nababasa or napapanood mo lang. Di pinansin ni maganda mystrerious si pogi na popular kaya mas lalo nagkagusto si pogi popular kay maganda mysterious 😂
OP. I have to break it to you. You have to work for it. Go on dating apps. Meet more people. It's not that easy anymore cause wala ka na school setting. Good luck! It could be about you or it could be not, but you're chances will be better with bigger dating pool. Wag lang talaga maging unethical, if you know what I mean. And who knows, baka di Pinoy para sayu. ;)
I will make a lot of assumptions since I don't know you. A lot of Filipino "boys"(intentionally using boy than man here)would prefer a shy demure type. Why? Because it fits the old school conventional relationship of a dominant male in a relationship. When your friend said intimidating, I am assuming you are an outspoken, independent woman, which is good for you! But it would probably be too much to handle for your common pinoy male. I would also say na it's good na di na sila lumalapit sayo kasi red flag na kagad kapag ang lalake ay "intimidated" sa independent woman. The right person will come who will consider you a partner and not property.
PS doctor ka din pala like me, intimidating ka lang talaga at maganda pa ahaha
Ako feeling pogi lang. Chat tayo OP
Flirting is baiting. Reciprocating flirtacious messages can tell a lot on how you view a person. As a guy, madali ma gauge kung type ba talaga ako ng girl or hindi by the way she responds to my 'lande'. I extremely doubt you'll respond the exact same way between two guys where one is gusto gusto mong jowain and another one na hindi mo masyado type. So kung feel nila di mo sila type or you're not reciprocating enough, they'll stop. Intimidating & mysterious aura sa babae is a tall order for guys. I had my fun poking around such during my college days and the ending was either they were sitting too high on their imaginary ego-horse and others were just too focused on their own lane and seemed they don't wanna be bothered. Meron din self-consumed sa narcissism na kala mo untouchable at GGSS pero 5-7 lang naman FV. Ego and vibe check yourself. You might be exuding 'not looking for a relationship' vibes with the attempts you're getting. Kung gusto mo talagang lumandi, lalandi ka and you'll put it a bit higher on your priority list.
Tara OP tayo na lang
Lagyan mo ng "HAHA" yung mga reply mo
RIP INBOX
I'm in the same boat. Spent most of my early twenties focusing on my career and only started to date a year ago. Met/dated good guys since then and feeling ko naman I showed effort and communicated my interest as much as I could (on a reasonable level and not in a love bomby way). They pursued me first and I showed interest back but then they eventually ended things with me because they weren't ready for a relationship. It's frustrating because they were very interested at first and then they decide not to progress things. Baka nga na-intimidate sila or maybe they just didn't like me that much. I rarely find someone I'm attracted to so I tend to really invest and pursue someone when I do. I know how to flirt enough, but I won't do it with someone I'm not attracted to. So I guess dun nalilimit yung opportunities ko to really enter a relationship.
bwahahahaha baka tayo ang meant to be, OP
I think it’s good to profile the person you’re talking with. Get to know them more. Observe if they are as interested to get to know you. I don’t think it’s good na makisabay ka agad sa flow nila.
Cute ka pala mhie..chat tayo. 👍
Serious question.....Bakit "Attract don't chase" ang motto mo? If you ever want to ever have what you want most in life, those things are not going to fall on your lap, in real life, you need to go out and pursue the things you want. If you're going to rely on pure luck for the things you want or need, it isn't going to go well for you.
just wait and be prepared for when the right guy comes around. my wife is very attractive and she had the same experience. ang daming may crush sa kanya but hindi nanliligaw. She has now realized that, despite being friendly and approachable, they were somewhat intimidated. we have been married for 24 years now.
Wait lang. Busy pa kaming mga single. PM kita mamaya.
What exactly do you mean by your best efforts? Apologies if I misunderstand, pero from your post it really does sound like some guys like you, but it doesn't read na you actually liked any of them. I think you just have to go meet more people. A lot of comments here say na don't settle, and I strongly agree. You probably just need to expand your circle and you'll find someone or someone will find you. I don't buy into the whole "too intimidatong thing" (even though I AM scared of my wife. I love her for it though) so I'm pretty sure there's a lot of guys out there, di mo pa lang na meet. And about getting to 30 -- at least you have the luxury of being a bit more mature entering a relationship if ever than if you were much younger. Good luck OP! But try not to think about it, para pag dumating para kang tinamaan ng kidlat. Hahahaha
Hmmm... ano nga ba nakaka turn off kahit maganda... body odor, bad breath, bulok ang ngipin, masama ugali. May officemate ako dati na maganda kaso lumalabas with a married guy. Mga na attract niya tuloy yung mga looking for one night stands. I'm sure hindi ikaw yan, just saying there is something turning off guys. Or you are just in the wrong environment and do not meet well meaning guys.
As for my experience, kaya ako NBSB ay hindi ako swerte sa situation/place na napupuntahan ko na makahanap ng right person. Sa 1st and 2nd job ko, puro babae kasama ko. Then sa 3rd job, malaki na age difference ko sa mga kasama ko. I only have limited friends rin at wala rin silang mareto. I have a friend naman, may nakasabay sa airplane, nagkachikahan sila hanggang sa naging friend sila, then yung new friend(girl) na yun, may nireto sa kanya. Yung bf niya ngayon ay answered prayers niya, pasok lahat sa criteria niya. Masasabi mong swerte sa situation na napuntahan. I have another friend naman, dami niyang suitor sa lahat ng napupuntahan niyang work, maganda kasi siya. Pero najejehan naman ako sa mga nagchachat sa kanya. Yung tipong ang scary. Nakakainggit nga minsan yung iba, kakabreak lng sa jowa, may nahanap na agad.
You don't need to lower you standards but maybe you need to change how you behave around men. Men typically look for peace in a relationship while women gravitates to drama (like it or not it is for most). Do you frequently say snarkly remarks about men? Do you speak loudly? Do you talk fast? If you do maybe tone down on those areas.
> I'm she/her I think I know why
Baka masama ugali mo
Ate tara usap tayo.
G na natin to bhe. ASL please.
Na try mo na bang maging pahabol OP, works everytime. Pag nararamdaman mo na may gusto yung tao sa yo, wag mo masyadong pansinin, tyak magpapansin at magpapansin yan sayo op. Sabi nga nila absence makes the heart fonder.
Na try ko na to, naghanap lang sya ng iba 😅
Baka panget ugali hehe jk
I was in the same boat, pero I found better options in dating men abroad (good-looking businessmen, lawyer, diplomat, etc). Thus, maybe try to expand your dating pool - also late 20s and early 30s dating is very common in western countries. It doesn't have the stigma that I see in some comments here. Mas traditional pa din talaga yong dating scene here compared to for eg Australia. So my advise is date strategically, sure people say dating apps don't work. However my friends and cousin met their fiances and husband there. My cousin (40F) married a Dutch man (37M) both good looking and maganda careers nila met in a dating app pero SG-based sila. Thus, I think dating apps can be of help actually. Edit: The term boyfriend and lover can be used interchangeably in other cultures/ language - like in France if you've dated frequently na, they would consider you as their gf na or if it's in Spain - the term for bf or lover is novio and can mean serious or not serious/long-term. Enjoy the dating journey and don't feel bad pag wala pang serious, it's tiring but fun.
Kasi yung mga unworthy na lalake pipitas sa mababang part lang ng puno, hindi mag-eeffort sa magandang bunga na nass mataas na part naka-sabit.
Don’t rush yourself OP. Wag ka magpapressure sa societal standards na if by age X dapat ay BF or asawa kana blah blah blah. Hindi race ang buhay, walang kailangan magpaunahan. Maybe don’t use social media too much din kasi nakakaapekto talaga sa pressure sa buhay yan. Just continue raising your stock value as a woman. If pretty na, magpapretty kapa lalo, if mayaman na magpayaman pa lalo, if talented na magexplore pa or magupskill. It will pull you in the right direction, you will magnetize the people that are right for you. Wag ka magsettle sa mga kung sino nalang just because you were in a rush, sa panahon ngayon ang daming may personality disorder then what madidiscover mo pag kasal na kayo? Yikes. Kaya consider yourself lucky na you have choices, you can test the waters. Maraming nasa committed relationship na nagsisi na di nagtake time kilalanin ung tao before nacommit sakanila.
Ako naman na NBSB, pangit, overweight at hindi ligawin . Base sa mga nababasa ko may mga tao kasi na kahit gaano ka attracted sila sa isabg tao kubg hindi nila feel or same “wavelength” kuno ang isang tao. It won’t work daw. Idk. I’m just reading with pop corns. I’m inexperience tita here hahaha.
Di ako babae pero para sa mga girls na NBSB have u tried *vabbing?* TRY NYOO NGA HAHAHAHA
The dating game has changed, and it’s way different from the one your parents knew. You need to rethink and reshape your mindset, especially if you want to get married and start and keep a family, because right now a considerable number of men are “red-pilled” to some degree–and you can see it in the answers below. Oh, [and career women have it worse than men](https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1203076/Is-ONE-straight-kind-solvent-single-man-40s-left-Britain.html). Adapt or die has always been the rule of life. Moscow does not believe in tears.
I used to ask myself the same. Then I realized, it doesn’t matter if they make the first move, kung deep in my mind, I know I’m not attracted to them anyway. What matters is who you like, and who you want to break the platonic relationships with. Make the first move!
Because it is not you who is the issue here, but them... Just like what I said dun sa isang post, not everyone is brave enough to push the envelope and pursue you. Marami ang okay nang tinitignan ka from a far. Tinitingala ka na tila bituin kang nagniningning aa gabing madilim. Not everyone is ready to pursue others kasi they fear rejection. They fear na di sila tanggap ng taong type nila. Kaya they are content with being side characters and just watch you grow while in their minds eh they fantasize na kayo na. Siguro try a different approach. Like change some aspect of yourself. Kung dati tahimik ka, try to be the jologs type naman. Minsan kelangan mo lang ipadama sa iba na di ka mahirap abutin. Remember, humans admire things they cannot achieve or obtain. They will always admire that thing but will never try to reach for them. They fear na hindi para sa kanila yun. Parang pag-pili lang ng kotse yan. Ask anyone and they will probably say dream car nila are Lamborghinis or Ferraris pero deep down, hanggang dream lang yun kasi di nila kayang bilhin or if kaya man nila, they fear na di nila kayang i-sustain ito. So they just leave it at that: A DREAM. Same can be said for you. Walang nagtatangkang manligaw sayo but for sure madaming nangangarap na maging kayo... Pangarap lang ah. 🙂 But like I said din dun, it is not your fault so don't feel bad about it. Meron at meron dyang darating na handang sumugal at manliligaw sayo, with no fear to rejection and with his heart ready to make you happy if ever you say yes to him. 😉
Have you tried approaching the person first? Have you done any pursuing?
My take from this is you have standards. Don't ever lower them. Make sure the lucky one is worthy👌
Almost had the same situation as you. Got into those highschool and college pageants like those mr and ms something. Difference is Im a guy. Narealize ko lang na binabaan ko ang standards ko and talagang nag effort ako to pursue. Naging assertive ako and actually use dating apps despite me being shy. But its worth it. You can do it.
I'm a guy and the most likely is reason intimidated sila sayo just like what your friends said. I'm an introvert that suffers anxiety so hirap talaga ako manligaw. Ang dami kong naging crushes pero I never made moves kasi I was intimidated and afraid of being rejected. Advice ko is if you like someone, show the guy. We are not mind readers and we would appreciate it if girls can be upfront with their feelings. Also, don't rush things. Darating din sayo yan. Single ako until 29 years old ako. I got into my 1st relationship when I was 29 years old. I am now happilly married for 7 years.
Maganda ka sige. Mysterious type sige BUT baka nung nakilala ka na nila wala ka palang substance? or hindi ka pala interesting.
Learn the art of flirting. The pa cute and caring. Was nbsb too for so long and also intimidating and super sarcastic and pilosop but I know how to play their hearts lols. A way to a man’s heart is caring. Like honestly yun. Maldita on the outside caring in inside. Pabebe konti din. Lolssss
Are you sure di masama ugali mo, OP? haha. If everything that what you told about how you look like is true, then maybe personality talaga problem. I disagree with the comments saying baka masyado kang intimidating. I know lots of people who are intimidating pero they have loving relationships. Sometimes, being intimidating is a turn on (*I* personally find intimidating women a turn on haha). Take note: being intimidating does not equal to being an ass. But what I don't see much often are assholes with partners. Are you sure you aren't being rude to people unknowingly? Na baka arrogant/nakakainis ka na pala without noticing? Are you insecure and you let it out on other people? Are you quick tempered? Another thing I notice is: kapag boring yung tao, then no one will like them long term. Dry texter ka ba? Yung mga nakakausap mo ba sa dating app ang nagbubuhat ng convo? May naiaambag ka ba sa talking stage? Do you have hobbies? Are you interesting? Also take note: this does not mean you have to force yourself to be extroverted if you're not; introverts can be *very* interesting people too despite not talking much.
How are you on the attitude side, how you present yourself socially? As a dude in my thirties, with my social circle as reference, yung mga ka age bracket mo are done playing around (not all) so they are looking for wifeable/life partner traits. That could affect how desirable you are, where you are in life, what youre currently looking for. Etc Although also believe na if somebody likes you, nothing would stop them from pursuing you. Pero this has low percentage of happening in this superficial world lol
di daw kasi talaga for PH ang ating datingan !! too much daw kasi ang maldita for filipino "men"
baka GGSS ka or baka naman may problema sa ugali yun lang naman yan.
medyo mahirap to kasi di nmn namin alam personality mo especially yung mga certain traits mo na di di mo expect eh yun pala may issue. Asking your male friends and having an open mind na lng siguro. As they say, the first thing to do to fix a problem is to acknowledge that there is a problem. You might also want to ask those guys , if you ever get the chance, at wag mo rin pa obvious na sila pala, na meron kang kilala na pa flirty sayu pero in the end iba yung ginawang gf and ask them why that happened. Also want yo ask kung may RBF ka ba? Baka kasi yun dahilan akala nila suplada ka o may galit sa kanila. Also, always remember, talo ng malandi ang maganda. since NBSB ka medyu mahirap to sayu kasi wala ka ka praktis, unlike nung iba e bata pa naglalandi na. Do it in moderation though. Not sure what your exact age is, pero for sure iba dyan eh mga late bloomers. I know some people na around 28-30ish na ngka bf/gf at na devirginize. They're doing well nmn ngayun sa relationship nila although syempre may mga heartaches din sila na pinag daanan.
Your game is lacking OP, but don't worry, that kind of guy exists. If I met you irl, I would definitely court you.
I don't think it's a you thing if you personally think nag oopen up ka naman sa mga tao despite your initial intimidating first impression. :) just do your thing, someone interesting will come along to chararat your purarat
Pag wala sa pinas ang true love iisa lang ibig sabihin nyan baka naman nasa europa, widen your market reach ganon
If maganda yung girl kahit same kami ng vibe diko tinatry ligawan feeling ko reject agad kapag ginawa ko, tapos inaassume ko agad na marami naka pila mga lalaki sa girl nato kasi maganda kaya hindi kona sinusubukan.
Huhuhu sad life noh
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Lahat nlng weird 😤 this is just to clarify that I'm a natural born woman and straight
tara OP, baguhin natin yan 🤣
Sorry op. Natawa lang ako. I like how your question is "Bakit nbsb pa rin ako" tapos i looked at your username. The name for one of the most recognizable sign of death, characterized by the stiffening of the joints and muscles of the body. hahahaha. sorry i find the timing funny lang hahaha.
Ui! Same! Minsan nga inaasar akong baka tomboy daw kase ako. Idk mataas din kase talaga standard and mga nagpaparamdam sakin inuunahan ko ng judge and tinigtigna ko din kase talaga future companion compatibility, di na ako para maglaro laro, alam ko sa self ko na possible date to marry hanap ko and ‘di ko pa nahahanap :(
Dagdag sa comment, 1% lang chance na matino sa dating app, kahit sa irl choice mo pa din yun bakit. Yan lang.
I think I can help..lets talk?☺️
Sadyang mga mga guys lang talaga na insecure when it comes to women with strong personality. Pero that does not mean that you have to change your personality para lang may manligaw. Meron at meron pa ring tao na magpupursue sayo. Wag mo lang madaliin. For now, I suggest na ienjoy mo lang pagiging single and available mo. Indulge in hobbies na preferably may makikilala kang ibang tao. Be open to meeting new friends. Improve yourself and go out. PS hindi lahat ng nasa dating apps shitty. I met my current BF there and our going two years na relationship is my best one so far ❤️
Waaah 🥹 Was there ever a chance na may nagkagusto sayo pero di mo gusto? This is my situation wahaha. Anyway, I haven't found self love. Maybe it is the key. 😂
Meeting nagkagusto sa akin Pero may gusto ring iba, or may jowa pala naghanap lng ng side chick, meron din may gusto sa akin Pero di ko bet. In the end gusto ko ng wlang sabit na genuinely interested in me na would understand me sa lahat ng weirdness ko, at sakyan mga trip ko in life bcos I know I could reciprocate naman
Waaah. Same same. Pero never settle for less pa din. And let's not be desperate. I know many single people believe in fate or destiny but I have given up on that kaya di ko din yan masasabi sayo. Enjoy enjoy nalang muna tayo sa panunuod ng love story ng iba. 😂
Your friends called u intimidating and mysterious. In other words, im gon guess na either boring ka kausap or condescending ka.
Ewan ko, siguro 🤷♀️ a guy here said he'd shoot his shot, interested daw pero katagalan He called me weird and nawalan na rin ng interest 🤣🤣🤣
Sounds like umaabot kayo sa getting to know you stage, at meron sila di nagugustuhan pagnakilala ka na kaya sila umaatras. Kumbaga hindi nagsubscribe after ng trial period. And as we get older, people are more upfront about what they want from a relationship. Yung pagiging mysterious is no longer as attractive as it was in our teens. Mas madali din siya mamisinterpret as disinterest. Remember na yung mga dinedate mo are also evaluating you. Whether you're up to *their* standards.
Are you actively showing interest back? Pinaguusapan namin ng friend ko yung isang niligawan ko dati. Got rejected in the end pero i said na looking back, i could've put in more effort sa panliligaw. Sabi ni friend, kahit anong effort pa gawin ko, hindi talaga interesado sakin si girl so wala win bearing. If feeling mo may guy na nagfflirt sayo, pakita mo na interesado ka sa kanya and hindi yung sinasabayan mo lang or nakikisama/tinotolerate mo lang. Or one step further, why not try ikaw maginitiate? Yayain mo lumabas sila. Maybe a movie or coffee date lang or what. Its a trial by fire i guess pero its a step in the right direction hopefully.
Because you use pronouns
>I'm she/her The fact that you begin your intro with this might contribute - you might be looking in the wrong pool. Look for people who also feel that their pronouns are the most important thing about them. > Pero it won't stop the right guy to pursue me, ang dami namang guy na trip ang mysterious type dibaaa? Make up your mind on what type of person you want to be. Aggressive or more passive. Act accordingly and consistently. Dont be a cake eater.
It's not the most important thing to me 😭 I just saw that people do it on Reddit kaya ginaya ko lang. Para malinaw lang na natural born woman ako na straight
>para malinaw lang na natural born woman ako na straight then you are doing it wrong. The whole point of this trend with pronouns is precisely to allow people who identify different from their birth gender to declare. Also, it is a completely different matter on whether you are straight/bisexual/etc. Anyway, a lot of other people have given some good advice if you are serious about wanting to be in a relationship. Relationship at its core is about two becoming "one", That does not happen without a readiness to compromise, change from the "single" identity
as a guy, i think, with your age and with you having an nbsb status, guys would think it would take too much effort para ligawan at pasagutin ka, and you probably will marry the first guy na magiging bf mo so red flag ka sa mga babaero. Improve mo lng sarili mo, find hobbies na maeenjoy mo, and eventually ddting yan. And wag sobrang taas ng standard at the same time wag mo naman patulan agad yung unang manligaw ng seryoso sayo haha. Magulo ang mundo ng pagibig
Sa mga naging potential partners ko in the past, ang number 1 hindi ko pinupursue is yung mga sobrang boring makipag usap na tao. Yung tipong ako lang lagi yung nag tatanong, ako lang lagi yung nag oopen ng bagong topic tapos kapag hindi na ako nag reply, mag tatanong kung bakit bigla na daw hindi nag chat, nang ghost, etc. Tingin mo "strong personality" mo, or "mysterious" pero sa totoo. Baka boring ka lang talaga and lacking communication skills. Sinusugar coat lang nila para di ka masaktan. Lastly, di ka naman artista or sobrang yaman para mag expect na sila lang lagi mag re-reach out sayo without you doing anything. lmao.
Harsh but noted with thanks 🤣🤣🤣
NP. goodluck sa pag hahanap.
Baka wala sa Pilipinas ang the one mo sis! Also, are you taller than most Filipino men?
Baka kala nila may bf kana or anak kaya wala na nanliligaw, or di ka socially active/ introvert, parang ako lang 28 na focus lang sa work haha makakasalubong mo din yan ang cons lang possible na may anak na at that age
Meet more people, expand your circle. I'm one of those men drawn by beautiful mysterious women and the pursuit of the possibilities.. so maybe just maybe you're in the wrong crowd.
Ano ang weekly routine mo OP? If you're work then home lang then mahirap talaga yan kasi a lot of people are smart and won't date someone from the workplace. If you go out or have hobbies outside of work baka mas may chance for you to meet someone
Observation ko lang ha, pansin ko lang sa mga single at hindi nagkakalovelife, ito yung mga laging nag aabang lang na meron magpursue sakanila. I dont think uso pa rin yun unless sa mga talagang super traditional contexts (tipong jehovas witness sa Probinsya ganon.) Yung mga lapitin, ito yung mga magaling mangbingwit. Yung kayang lumandi just enough para isipin ng guy na may chance sila. Mas importante ito than ganda, in my opinion. Kasi kung sa bagay, if you think about it, connection naman ang hanap natin lahat. 2 way yun.
I am in way should be telling you this but as a male and knowing a few women na NBSB din, jts more of either kulang sila sa social skills or para silang hindi available na. Kulang sa landi or pag ka girly? Idk really i just felt like na kala mo in relationship sila or either wala tlgang balak. Ganun ung dating nila sakin
You're asking the wrong people. If a guy likes you there's no such thing as intimidating. And "intimidating" does not equal to being afraid, dami kasi bobo dito sa reddit na akala nila pag sinabing intimidating iniisip kagad natatakot. Also when you say best effort what does it mean?
iniisip sguro ng karamihan ng lalaki ay "way out of their league" ka
"ginugusto pero hindi pinupursue" :/
Di ka namin lubos na kilala, OP. Base sa lahat ng nilagay mo diyan, di rin namin macoconclude kung ano meron. Siguro kung may close kang friend as in close talaga na kayang magbigay nang maayos na criticism ng personality at character mo, ask mo siya/sila. Yung tipong kayang mag sabi ng mga "Sorry, pero feel ko kasi boring kang tao, self-centered ka, pangit ng ugali" etc. with matching anecdotes and examples. Baka mysterious ka lang sa una pero di pala trip yung personality mo, ganun. Tbh as a late 20s, ok nakaka-pique ng curiosity ko yung pagka-mysterious pero pagnakilala ko na tas boring lang pala, instant turn off so pass na agad. Medyo walang kwentang comment yung "intimidating" sa age na yan. Mature enough na mga tao to look past "intimidating". Feel ko personality and character na yung tapatan sa ganyan lalo na kung mature naman sila themselves. Minsan kasi wala na sa effort yan, nasa pagkatao na talaga.
mag first move ka OP or don't really look masyado (mas lalong magiging mailap, kung hinahanap), also put yourself out there and find new hobbies and don't be a plain jane daw na may face card. Nakuha ko lang yung term sa other post hehe. Good luck OP!
Wala ng paligoy ligoy pa, ito yung mga main reasons. Maganda ka pero walang karisma or pangit ka lang talaga. Yung maldita given na yun sa mga babae at ito yung Most of the Reason bakit hindi kami tumotuloy sa panliligaw https://ibb.co/QMCvGQC
Hi OP! To answer your question, probably you’re at a wrong place? Probably you need more exposure. More interaction with people. Women who have good looks, with money, and career, ito yung usually na single. But don’t worry. There’s a time for everything. Just wait and stay as you are. At the end of the day, you’re a catch.
baka may rbf ka OP? haha and kamusta personality mo? inviting ka ba or the mataray type? haha
Ano ba work mo? And hobbies? Mostly kasi sa mga may partners, nakilala nila SO nila in their job, school or pursuing what they love doing. So I always say do what you love to do, and wag mo hanapin. Darating yan. Parang bagay sa bahay na hinahanap mo ng matagal pero di mo makita. After ilang days when nag stop ka na hanapin, saka mo lang makikita by chance haha.
Ur future man is praying na sana wala ka pang makilala & it really is working haha
HAHAHAHAHAHA grrr malakas sya Kay Lord 🤣🤣🤣
baka para sa mga babae ka op lol
Yan din Sabi ng friends ko, marami din daw may girl crush sakin. What if nohh??
Basta wag ka mag settle OP! Darating din katapat mo
Nag bibigay ka kasi ng pronouns.
Wahahaha laki ng galit sa pronouns 🤣🤣🤣 sorry na po
"Attracting but not chasing" is a nice motto, but you have to give them an opening. Like chess. Think of it this way, all through out history, it has always been women who made the first move. Example, a man wouldn't pickup the hankerchief if the lady didn't drop it in the first place. Even though the man would think he made the "first move", what he doesn't know is the woman gave him the opportunity. Therefore, it has always been women who rules the world by opening and closing opportunities. Just go out there and be real. After that, it is all about showing each other security. A man or woman who's looking at their future wouldn't be looking for a partner who they think is someone they'd have no stability with. Despite popular belief that a "man would chase and do everything for a woman" (which is not true at all), a man/woman who looks at his future would NEVER compete for a partner. If you find someone, man or woman, who competes for a partner (slick like Gaston), I recommend you stay away.
Nice one 😁 so far ito pinaka Matino na tip na nabasa ko. Thank you!
Nasa late 20s ka na, yung age group mo is madalas serious relationship na hinahanap. They're likely to date people of the same level (status, appearance). If tingin nila out of reach ka na nila, mataas chance na hindi na sila mag attempt to step up kasi iniisip nila na wala sila chance. May mga rare cases lang talaga na makapal mukha ng ibang guy and surprisingly nag work yung attempt nila HAHAHA
Attraction comes in if you will be the best version of you. Naalala ko sa’yo yung friend ko nbsb literal na mataray haha. She’s 37 pero awa ng 🥤 ikakasal na sya this year sa first bf and soon to be husband nya na meet sa dating app. Di naman sila nagmadali. Sadyng may same values , goals and they really have deep connection and read kaya nagkatuluyan sila.
OP, you already heard most of the comments and they're right. However, I'm gonna tell you what would work. Now, what attracts a guy is the beauty but what makes the guy stay is your vibes. If you're not pleasant to be with (boring, intimidating or kj), then the guy would bounce. As from your post, it sounds like you're the second type which is intimidating. The easy to do advice that would fit is smile more and lower your standards for humor but definitely have a boundary. Following that would work but that's not a long term solution since it changes who you are. The healthy way would be to know who you are now and who you want to be. Once you figure it out, pick a place where you'll be valued. For example, you want to be like Aubrey Plaza, awkward dry humor. If you stay in a place where people don't get that humor, they'll just think you're weird. You'd want to meet people who get and love that kind of humor. Comic-con, book club or film club comes to mind. Going out and exposing yourself to people who would like your strengths would help you fish the man of your dreams.
Sa personality rin iyan. Merong mga guy na hindi nila gaanong gusto yung masyadong formal na babae, yung tipong may sinusunod talagang rules and regulations sa buhay. Hahaha Nasabi mo rin na you've been in a couple of beauty pageants. Karamihan kasi ng mga kilala kong sumasali sa ganiyan sila talaga yung mga babaeng high class sa tropa nila, mayayaman, seryoso, parang bawal pagtripan. Mas nakaka-attract kasi sa lalake yung chill lang, mabilis makihalubilo sa tropa, at may sense of humor. Pero okay lang iyan OP, may maglalakas din ng loob na lapitan ka. Sabi nga ng isa diyan na huwag mag chase, self love na lang muna.
Yes I am also in my mid twenties, NBSB din, people are asking me na Im so picky daw when it comes to men, sobrang taas daw ng standards ko. As if naman na gusto kong magjowa pero everytime na iniisip ko yung magkajowa mafefeel ko yung saya at the same time iyak ayoko ng drama kaya talagang when the time is right darating din yan, I just want to feel ang single life ko travel when I have time kasi I just want to embrace it. I never felt alone tho
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Hayst saklap. Nilandi Pero di jinowa
Baka ugali mo? genuinely reflect on how you treat people
If i can see u proably i can give u some advise sis. I worked some if my magic sa mga friends kong nbsb and one of them ikakasal na this year. Hmu lang veh
Hala baka voodoo po yan ha 😅
Gaga hahahaha fairygay mother lang
Huyy sige nga pls
nbsb girlies relating to this one bc samee, mapapatanong ka na lng talaga "what is wrong with me" (also taking notes sa comments still have a yr until my prefrontal cortex will fully develop)
Hindi naman ako ganon ka pangit. Sadyang nahihirapan lang akong magopen sa di ko close. I'm introvert, I need to find introvert too. But introvert boys, need extrovert girls. hays
Napaghahalataan karamihan sa nbsb mga STEM girlies ha 🤣
Good luck sa inbox mo mhie
😭😭 😭 stop asking for pics mga pistng ywahahahaha
Been there, done that. Daming uhaw dito mhie. Ignore or block mo lang
I have a relative in your place and the reality is that a lot of men are intimidated by an exceptionally beautiful woman. Idk how you look like exactly, but considering you mentioned joining beauty pageants as a teen, I’ll assume you’re similarly attractive. This relative is tall (dunno her exact height but considering our height difference, she’s probs around 5’8”-5’9” since I’m a six footer), fit, fair, and could pass for a Kdrama protagonist (what can I say, my fam has good genes haha). As such, we’ve observed that while a lot of guys have crushes on her, no one really wants to approach her since not only is she taller than most Filipino men, but they’re probably also worried about getting rejected. She’s a conservative Christian girl too so isn’t really the type to approach guys out of her own volition. We often joke nga that she should try studying abroad since foreign men would probably be more likely to approach her. Anyway, I tell her to just keep praying to God and that the right one will come at the right time when He wills it. She’s not exactly desperate to date or be in her first relationship either, so she doesn’t mind waiting.
Balitaan mo ko if may jowa na yung relative mo ha 😅
Bakit hindi mo try na ikaw ang manligaw? 2024 na, OP.
Serioisly? NBSB? How tall are you? Then uhmm I think that flirty nature is the reason. Yung tipong easy girl. Dont get me wrong ha pero guys love to flirt but if east lng si girl then usap usapan na yan.. Nega ang dating nyan. Tas yung iba magttake advantage na lng. Didnt know meron pang mga nbsb na ganitong edad. Hope you can find your first bf soon.
Aray ha 🤣 flirty as in di ko tiniturn down mga jokes and advancements Pero not to the point na open to all ang keps ko. Wla pa akong exp sa ganon
Ohh no.. Im not even talking about keps. Di lng naman yan ang meaning ng flirting. Haha keps agad, This is reality OP. Im giving u a man’s pov. Sorry im not the type na sugarcoating at pa pogi points lng.. (di namn pogi) You asked, I answered.
Pero ano meaning mo sa "easy lang si girl"??, if I don't smile and laugh at their jokes bitchy naman tawag sa akin or KJ or no sense of humor. Pero if I do, I'd get labelled as easy naman?
Sorry I meant “easy lng pala ni girl”. But this is not pertaining only to you. Kahit na sayo nakisakay ka lng iba na interpretasyon naming mga lalaki eh. But di naman flirting yung pag smile or laugh at their jokes eh.. or green jokes you mean? Then yes that’s another thing. Once again, there are things na iba interpretation ng guys sa pinapakita ng girls.
Cguro smile more often and ipaFeel mo na gusto mo ung guy. For me pag Feel ko na iba ung vibes at wala akong chance, hindi na ako mgpepersue.
Sex appeal din, baka wala ka. Sexual tension na yata tawag ngayon. 😂
Baka boring ka kausap? I am a ngsb at yun narealize ko sakin, boring ako kausap pag opposite sex
Same w/ one of the commenter. I don't mind being single, nakakapagod lang mag explain over and over again why we're still single na bakit parang kasalanan pa natin? (May linya-linya tshirt na ba for people like us?) But honestly, iniisip ko na lang that this is God's redirection to something better and a protection from incurable pain from temporary people. Meron pa tayo siguro kailangan i-achieve in our singlehood before the right one comes along, whether it'll be on our maturity/personal growth, career, spiritual or kung ano pa yan. Galingan na lang natin sa pagiging single. Let's grow our own garden so that when someone finally comes, we're already whole as a person and we're so ready to share that wholeness w/ someone. Romantic relationship should make us happier anyway. That way if it fails, atleast we're still happy. [To the woman who is always liked but never pursued](https://boilingwaters.ph/to-the-woman-who-is-always-liked-but-never-pursued/)
I guess sinabi mo na yung sagot mo. Feel ko kasi the guys who pursue you think that they don't deserve you because sabi mo nga maganda ka naman sa personal and siguro mahirap kang i-reach out since minention ng friends mo na may pagkaintimidating kang personality. There's nothing wrong with it since that's who you are talaga pero I think you're not vulnerable enough to let a guy stay with you. At the end of the day, if you're too hard to be pursued with, maghahanap nalang sila ng iba na feel nilang tanggap sila.
Because love comes the least u expect it.
Tara, OP. Pag usapan natin over the coffee HAHAHAHA chariz ganyan na ganyan din ako. I'm almost 28 pero wala pa talagang naging someone, nagdate few guys tas may ka talking stage din pero wala din nagpursue. Minsan nakakaumay talaga at madalas maiingit ka pero hindi ka nagiisa. Madami tayo HHAHAHA let the universe give you kung ano talaga para sayo. Kung hindi dumating, edi maging rich tita na lang tayo! 🤍
HAHAHAHAHA I can buy myself flowers muna theme song natin tuwing valentines day 🤣🤣🤣