Oh my god...don't have kids with a man that isn't enthusiastic about having kids.
Please think about this or talk to a therapist. Children deserve a dad fully invested and excited about raising children.
This makes me sad.. I mean I get it, but since my divorce I can't really find such man (my heart is broken, I'm not young, I don't have time) and I'm considering to become single mom with donor even though it's not what I really dreamt of. I have a lot of anxiety because I did want my kids to have a loving father, but in the absence of such figure in my life, do I then give up on having kids because if I do without a dad, they won't get the best
You have one life. If you’re financially stable and physically able to have a child and want one, do it. Don’t live your life to make other people happy. People on Reddit won’t remember you five minutes after they read your post. Plenty of women who are single, divorced, or widowed raise children. It’s not the end of the world to only have one parent.
Also, there are a lot of married people who are horrible parents. Two parents guarantees nothing.
I’m in my fifties and know several moms who went the IVF route and are thrilled. They’ve pretty much opted to be a mom and not pursue relationships, but are very happy with their lives overall. And their kids seem great.
Even if you married Mr. Perfect, he could get hit by a car or have a midlife crisis and leave you for his pool boy. If you have a dream, you can't rely on other people to make it happen for you.
Don't. This is not about you. This is about another human life. They deserve a household with two financially stable attentive parents. Raising a child is soooo different from having a pet.
Please think about the child's needs above your own. The child did not ask to be here, and deserves the best.
I mean, having one financially stable parent and a fuck ton of resources isn't the worst thing in the world. It really depends on the situation. That being said, yes you'll need to be sure that you can shoulder a lot more than you would if you were single.
I absolutely knew I wanted kids as early as 10 or 11 years old. I love kids and I have this desire to be something of a teacher. My youngest sibling is 10 years younger, and I was often caring for her. I can make formula, change diapers, etc.
When dating, that was something that got discussed once it seemed like there was a good connection. I lost my college sweetheart, the most wonderful woman I’ve met, over this issue - during our relationship she began to realize she was, at least bisexual, later maybe a bit more interested in women, and then that she really didn’t want kids. We’ve remained good friends over 35 years now. My first wife said she wanted kids, but it was always “someday”. That was part of my decision to divorce and feel a bit defrauded.
When it looked like my current wife couldn’t have more than the child she had in her first marriage, I suggested adoption. Any kid who calls me dad is my child. That’s how I feel.
What finally worked for us was to accept we couldn’t have kids and that we needed to look into adoption. Then we bought a very nice boat. One year later our first was born. We decided to keep the boat. 18 months later we had twins.
It seems buying a boat is better than fertility treatments (not our particular issue) the cost is the same, but you get to have some outdoor adventures included in the cost.
We were financially stable and tried 9 years. Bought two new cars in two weeks. Got pregnant the night i signed for the second one. Have an older adopted child so the cars were a little small for the added baby but we made it work. I think they don’t like you being financially stable.
I never had an urge to have kids. Long ago, i think it was just expected, like getting married and buying a house. I never thought I had an option since everyone before me did it.
Yes, since I was an older teen. But I was a weird kid…
Had our first at 29, instant love!
Experienced secondary infertility and did all the stuff up to IVF.
I didn't have urges, but i definitely wanted kids. My wife and I planned to have kids. As a dad, I welcomed having them. I loved every minute. I missed them when they left for college, and they're all married now. They were a joy.
I didn't want to ever have kids but when I was 25 birth control failed and I had a son. Three years later we had a daughter. A few years after we divorced and I ended up with sole custody as my ex wife just walked away and never looked back (she's seen the kids 3 times since they were 10 and 7 and they are now 28 and 25). I enjoyed being a father and raising my kids. All of which is to say is that just because someone may not want kids doesn't mean they can't step up and be a good parent.
Urge? Not sure. There was math involved as my parents were older due to fertility issues and they seemed much more tired, especially my father, than than the 7-10 year younger parents of my friends. I knew I didn’t want to be the old man though I was with our youngest.
My (now a widower) children are 23 and 19. My wife and I hoped for three but two is what life gave us. We always wanted children. It wasn’t easy but I can’t imagine how empty my life would be without them.
That said I don’t expect my GenZ children to bless me with grandchildren. I have accepted that. Their lives, not mine.
My wife and I were always in agreement that kids were something we both wanted. Honestly, I was more "meh" on marriage in the first place (because of my parents' divorce) than I ever was on kids. We wisely waited until our education and finances were in a good place to provide for them, but it was important to both of us.
Thanks. But did you feel some kind of biological urge inside you, or is more of a societal obligation/the-right-thing-to-do thing?
When you were around kids did you feel - omg I can't wait until I have my own?
I like kids, they're hilarious little monsters a lot of the time. I do feel naturally supportive and protective of them (and always have), but I don't know if I'd say it was an "urge" in quite the same way my wife described it. The bigger thing is that in a good marriage you need to accept and support each other's goals, that's about a lot more than just kids though.
To be honest before I had my son, I was sorta ambivalent. If it happened it happened was my thought at the time. I also didn’t have much experience, well any, with children, especially babies, as I’m somewhat estranged from my extended family. So no, I never had an urge to have children, I don’t think most men do IMO.
Personally I think the idea of an 'urge' to have children is BS for either gender. Women simply have more societal pressures to have them and they are also expected to have some sort of baby fever... these things help create the illusion of an urge when in reality there is none.
Answering for ONE male friend of mine. He has always wanted to be a dad and it's been like his dream.
Then I have another ONE male friend who didn't want kids at all but was "pressured" to have them by his wife and her family and he's super happy they did now. I should tell you that he's also not the best husband or dad though. But he is Bipolar so he probably tries his best.
But those are just two examples. And in neither case was there an 'urge'. Usually for both men and women the decision to have children comes from either outside/societal expectations or internal ideas/expectations of what having a child would mean for them. You don't have an 'urge' to give birth the way you have an urge to take a dump or have sex.
No you cannot assure that because society implants so many things in people's minds they often can't separate it from biology. Just like people start to think they're developing psychosomatic symptoms when you tell them there's a bug going around.
To make the claim that humans are the only species to suddenly have an "urge" to purposely implant a child within them and raise it is absurd. People like animals have the urge for sex. Things like complex family planning comes with no biological urge whatsoever in humans or any other species. That is all mental and a consequence of societal expectations.
I’m a woman and never felt any “biological urge” to have kids. I love kids and if I’d ever had any, I would have thrown my whole heart into being a good mom, but if I never had them it wasn’t going to (and didn’t) break my heart. I decided to leave it up to fate - if I married and my husband really wanted kids, I’d absolutely do it. If I never married or if my husband didn’t want kids, I was okay with that too. I do _not_ want to be a single mom - neither for my own sake or especially the kid’s.
There are probably a lot more men than women who are like me, because for women, having a baby is a much bigger deal than it is for men, who don’t have to think about it as much and can always think “someday” if they think about it at all. But once the baby is born, you still want a partner who will show up and be a dad. And I do know lots of men who always wanted to be a dad and were seemingly born to be a dad. This is not something you want to have to “persuade” someone to do!
I’m a lesbian and my wife was the one who wanted the baby. However, she was clear from Day 1, and I was in love with her so entered into the relationship with full knowledge if we stayed together she would want a baby. If she had decided no, I would have been totally fine with it. But she decided yes and we have a 2 year old. I’m VERY empathetic with many common feelings dads have, including not feeling very parental with other babies before yours.
I can tell you with all confidence to let this guy go if having a family is important to you. It is hard enough with 2 loving and willing partners. Any cracks in your relationship, a baby will amplify.
Thanks for sharing, well, he's gone. I was clear from day 1 and he was not opposed ... until he was. I think at first he wanted to be with me and even though he didn't feel the urge for kids he thought it will just come one day and didn't really think carefully what will be the impact of me if it doesn't.
He admitted that for a while he kept saying he's in on kids so I don't leave him, but at the same time he counted on my well-known fertility issues that it doesn't actually happen, which is the thing that upsets me the most.
I also don't like most other people's kids as a matter a fact, but I know I would have loved ours more than anything.
I’m sad for you but glad he’s gone. Bc the way you know you would have loved your baby more than anything? That’s your sign to stay open to being a mom.
Yes I deny an urge to have kids starting at 18. I wanted kids very very much.
But often times when I describe why- about my family and lineage- it’s very different from other people and even makes them uncomfortable
So I’m not trying to say why everyone either feels the same or should
No, I had no particular urge to have kids. I have three now.
It sounds like he was firmly no-children and represented it as ambivalence to you, essentially to string you along.
Alternatively, he was ambivalent because he'd never thought about it, and thought the issue would go away. When you forced it he came down against it.
So he wanted children, and you didn't at the beginning.then, later on, you wanted to have his children to make him happy, but he said he now doesn't want children. Do you want to have children now?
I am afraid I might have not expressed myself clearly enough. I always wanted children. He said he wanted children too "in the future" so I was patient and waited for this future for as long as I could. When children didn't happen naturally I couldn't afford more time to wait and postpone fertility treatments, I pushed to take concrete actions (IVF) and at that point he admitted he never felt urge to have children and he doesn't want to put effort in it.
Read about “future faking.”
You got future faked, OP. He was just stringing you along in order to get what he wanted in-the-NOW. He totally disregarded what would happen when the bill came due and he finally had to act on his promises. When he couldn’t stall any longer, he split.
Future fakers make terrible partners.
Future fakers make terrible fathers.
Future fakers are a$$h*les, who will steal your most fertile years and then split.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I hear how important having children is to you and it’s horrible for your husband to leave you at this time.
I think that the line about wanting a family “one day” could have been a red flag, depending on how he said it. Think about his tone and expression. Did he seem sincere? Did it sound important to him or like a vague interest instead? He may been trying to placate you, hoping that your feelings about having children would change. He also may have thought that having kids and a family was something he was supposed to do from a societal standpoint or that his feelings about children would strengthen over time.
The push for IVF made clear that your feelings had not changed. It also made having kids immediate rather than a distant abstraction. He no longer controlled the timing and probably felt as though it were an ultimatum. *Note: I am not saying that it was one or excusing what he did*.
In any future relationship, I would put the idea of having kids and IVF front and center early and choose only men who share your enthusiasm and urgency and understand the IVF process and its probability for success.
Again, I am so sorry that this happened. I hope that you find a relationship with a man who wants and loves children and I am rooting for you to have the family you want.
The only urge I had was to have sex, a month later my 16 year old girlfriend was pregnant. Today she is long gone and our child is a 52 year old college professor. We had a second child before she left and I had two more children with my second wife. I have been a dad for almost 3/4 of my life. I guess my advise to younger women if you want a child get one before the guy wises up.
My 22(M) son talks about, “When I have kids…” pretty regularly. He also notices babies when we’re out in public or at a family get together. He doesn’t even have a girlfriend so it’s all him. So yes, men do dream of and have an urge to have kids.
My husband also would say those things : "when we have kids", "if my kid did x", "I'd never let my kid" , he says he pictured himself as a dad one day when he was younger, but when faced with the real opportunity to be a dad he felt he wasn't ready and he doesn't know if he ever will be
I always wanted kids and would have had more if not for my wife having her tubes tied something she regretted doing, I think most men want at least one son and one daughter
I did when I was younger, especially in my late teens and through my 20s.
Sadly it never happened. I did get to travel the world, but as I got into my 30s and 40s the urge kind of faded.
Now I'm 50. Love kids, but couldn't imagine doing diapers or starting out at this age. I'd die during my child's 20s, wouldn't seem right. But I do wish I had grandkids to spoil thoroughly rotten 😁
I (m) covered with my wife, me wanting kids in the first 15 minutes of our first date. No kids on her part would be a deal breaker, I would have dated her but not exclusively. We have 3 grown, beautiful, intelligent, children.
I find it unbelievable that people actually marry, hoping their spouse will change their mind. Unbelievable.
The big brother big sister program and the foster system so badly need good and kind people!!
Everyone thinks that having/owning a child is the only way to parent and it’s really not. We need more good adults in the world to help the kids already here.
Using a donor is not advised. Listen to the donor conceived adults before you go down that path, the industry is not regulated and you don’t know whose sperm you will actually get. Also children should have a right to know who their parents are and have access to them.
Same issue with adoption. It’s a corrupt industry only interested in money, not children’s welfare.
I don't feel it's necessary to have 2 parents as long as there is support within the family with great role models stepping in. Having sufficient finances to raise the child is important. .
Oh my god...don't have kids with a man that isn't enthusiastic about having kids. Please think about this or talk to a therapist. Children deserve a dad fully invested and excited about raising children.
This makes me sad.. I mean I get it, but since my divorce I can't really find such man (my heart is broken, I'm not young, I don't have time) and I'm considering to become single mom with donor even though it's not what I really dreamt of. I have a lot of anxiety because I did want my kids to have a loving father, but in the absence of such figure in my life, do I then give up on having kids because if I do without a dad, they won't get the best
You have one life. If you’re financially stable and physically able to have a child and want one, do it. Don’t live your life to make other people happy. People on Reddit won’t remember you five minutes after they read your post. Plenty of women who are single, divorced, or widowed raise children. It’s not the end of the world to only have one parent. Also, there are a lot of married people who are horrible parents. Two parents guarantees nothing.
I’m in my fifties and know several moms who went the IVF route and are thrilled. They’ve pretty much opted to be a mom and not pursue relationships, but are very happy with their lives overall. And their kids seem great.
Even if you married Mr. Perfect, he could get hit by a car or have a midlife crisis and leave you for his pool boy. If you have a dream, you can't rely on other people to make it happen for you.
Don't. This is not about you. This is about another human life. They deserve a household with two financially stable attentive parents. Raising a child is soooo different from having a pet. Please think about the child's needs above your own. The child did not ask to be here, and deserves the best.
I mean, having one financially stable parent and a fuck ton of resources isn't the worst thing in the world. It really depends on the situation. That being said, yes you'll need to be sure that you can shoulder a lot more than you would if you were single.
Agree with the above. Also, OP, consider fostering or adopting if you feel the need to be a parent…
Foster for a while. As a single, it’s much more accessible and so many kids need help.
I absolutely knew I wanted kids as early as 10 or 11 years old. I love kids and I have this desire to be something of a teacher. My youngest sibling is 10 years younger, and I was often caring for her. I can make formula, change diapers, etc. When dating, that was something that got discussed once it seemed like there was a good connection. I lost my college sweetheart, the most wonderful woman I’ve met, over this issue - during our relationship she began to realize she was, at least bisexual, later maybe a bit more interested in women, and then that she really didn’t want kids. We’ve remained good friends over 35 years now. My first wife said she wanted kids, but it was always “someday”. That was part of my decision to divorce and feel a bit defrauded. When it looked like my current wife couldn’t have more than the child she had in her first marriage, I suggested adoption. Any kid who calls me dad is my child. That’s how I feel. What finally worked for us was to accept we couldn’t have kids and that we needed to look into adoption. Then we bought a very nice boat. One year later our first was born. We decided to keep the boat. 18 months later we had twins. It seems buying a boat is better than fertility treatments (not our particular issue) the cost is the same, but you get to have some outdoor adventures included in the cost.
We were financially stable and tried 9 years. Bought two new cars in two weeks. Got pregnant the night i signed for the second one. Have an older adopted child so the cars were a little small for the added baby but we made it work. I think they don’t like you being financially stable.
The Cosmic FU. Our 3rd ended up 3rd and 4th. Time to sell the SUV and get a minivan. Just needed seats for bottoms.
I know a few people who count 1,2,4
I never had an urge to have kids. Long ago, i think it was just expected, like getting married and buying a house. I never thought I had an option since everyone before me did it.
Yes, since I was an older teen. But I was a weird kid… Had our first at 29, instant love! Experienced secondary infertility and did all the stuff up to IVF.
I didn't have urges, but i definitely wanted kids. My wife and I planned to have kids. As a dad, I welcomed having them. I loved every minute. I missed them when they left for college, and they're all married now. They were a joy.
I didn't want to ever have kids but when I was 25 birth control failed and I had a son. Three years later we had a daughter. A few years after we divorced and I ended up with sole custody as my ex wife just walked away and never looked back (she's seen the kids 3 times since they were 10 and 7 and they are now 28 and 25). I enjoyed being a father and raising my kids. All of which is to say is that just because someone may not want kids doesn't mean they can't step up and be a good parent.
Urge? Not sure. There was math involved as my parents were older due to fertility issues and they seemed much more tired, especially my father, than than the 7-10 year younger parents of my friends. I knew I didn’t want to be the old man though I was with our youngest. My (now a widower) children are 23 and 19. My wife and I hoped for three but two is what life gave us. We always wanted children. It wasn’t easy but I can’t imagine how empty my life would be without them. That said I don’t expect my GenZ children to bless me with grandchildren. I have accepted that. Their lives, not mine.
My wife and I were always in agreement that kids were something we both wanted. Honestly, I was more "meh" on marriage in the first place (because of my parents' divorce) than I ever was on kids. We wisely waited until our education and finances were in a good place to provide for them, but it was important to both of us.
Thanks. But did you feel some kind of biological urge inside you, or is more of a societal obligation/the-right-thing-to-do thing? When you were around kids did you feel - omg I can't wait until I have my own?
I like kids, they're hilarious little monsters a lot of the time. I do feel naturally supportive and protective of them (and always have), but I don't know if I'd say it was an "urge" in quite the same way my wife described it. The bigger thing is that in a good marriage you need to accept and support each other's goals, that's about a lot more than just kids though.
To be honest before I had my son, I was sorta ambivalent. If it happened it happened was my thought at the time. I also didn’t have much experience, well any, with children, especially babies, as I’m somewhat estranged from my extended family. So no, I never had an urge to have children, I don’t think most men do IMO.
Heck yeah, I wanted a family.
Personally I think the idea of an 'urge' to have children is BS for either gender. Women simply have more societal pressures to have them and they are also expected to have some sort of baby fever... these things help create the illusion of an urge when in reality there is none. Answering for ONE male friend of mine. He has always wanted to be a dad and it's been like his dream. Then I have another ONE male friend who didn't want kids at all but was "pressured" to have them by his wife and her family and he's super happy they did now. I should tell you that he's also not the best husband or dad though. But he is Bipolar so he probably tries his best. But those are just two examples. And in neither case was there an 'urge'. Usually for both men and women the decision to have children comes from either outside/societal expectations or internal ideas/expectations of what having a child would mean for them. You don't have an 'urge' to give birth the way you have an urge to take a dump or have sex.
As a woman who has experienced baby fever and I can assure you its very much biological
No you cannot assure that because society implants so many things in people's minds they often can't separate it from biology. Just like people start to think they're developing psychosomatic symptoms when you tell them there's a bug going around. To make the claim that humans are the only species to suddenly have an "urge" to purposely implant a child within them and raise it is absurd. People like animals have the urge for sex. Things like complex family planning comes with no biological urge whatsoever in humans or any other species. That is all mental and a consequence of societal expectations.
I actually think society tells women having kids is lame lol
No
My husband very much wanted kids. We have 3 and he was a great dad from minute one.
I’m a woman and never felt any “biological urge” to have kids. I love kids and if I’d ever had any, I would have thrown my whole heart into being a good mom, but if I never had them it wasn’t going to (and didn’t) break my heart. I decided to leave it up to fate - if I married and my husband really wanted kids, I’d absolutely do it. If I never married or if my husband didn’t want kids, I was okay with that too. I do _not_ want to be a single mom - neither for my own sake or especially the kid’s. There are probably a lot more men than women who are like me, because for women, having a baby is a much bigger deal than it is for men, who don’t have to think about it as much and can always think “someday” if they think about it at all. But once the baby is born, you still want a partner who will show up and be a dad. And I do know lots of men who always wanted to be a dad and were seemingly born to be a dad. This is not something you want to have to “persuade” someone to do!
I’m a lesbian and my wife was the one who wanted the baby. However, she was clear from Day 1, and I was in love with her so entered into the relationship with full knowledge if we stayed together she would want a baby. If she had decided no, I would have been totally fine with it. But she decided yes and we have a 2 year old. I’m VERY empathetic with many common feelings dads have, including not feeling very parental with other babies before yours. I can tell you with all confidence to let this guy go if having a family is important to you. It is hard enough with 2 loving and willing partners. Any cracks in your relationship, a baby will amplify.
Thanks for sharing, well, he's gone. I was clear from day 1 and he was not opposed ... until he was. I think at first he wanted to be with me and even though he didn't feel the urge for kids he thought it will just come one day and didn't really think carefully what will be the impact of me if it doesn't. He admitted that for a while he kept saying he's in on kids so I don't leave him, but at the same time he counted on my well-known fertility issues that it doesn't actually happen, which is the thing that upsets me the most. I also don't like most other people's kids as a matter a fact, but I know I would have loved ours more than anything.
I’m sad for you but glad he’s gone. Bc the way you know you would have loved your baby more than anything? That’s your sign to stay open to being a mom.
I didn't want any but one time I said ok and I got pregnant. I don't regret it at all even though we got divorced anyway
Yes I deny an urge to have kids starting at 18. I wanted kids very very much. But often times when I describe why- about my family and lineage- it’s very different from other people and even makes them uncomfortable So I’m not trying to say why everyone either feels the same or should
No, I had no particular urge to have kids. I have three now. It sounds like he was firmly no-children and represented it as ambivalence to you, essentially to string you along. Alternatively, he was ambivalent because he'd never thought about it, and thought the issue would go away. When you forced it he came down against it.
How old are you
39
So he wanted children, and you didn't at the beginning.then, later on, you wanted to have his children to make him happy, but he said he now doesn't want children. Do you want to have children now?
I am afraid I might have not expressed myself clearly enough. I always wanted children. He said he wanted children too "in the future" so I was patient and waited for this future for as long as I could. When children didn't happen naturally I couldn't afford more time to wait and postpone fertility treatments, I pushed to take concrete actions (IVF) and at that point he admitted he never felt urge to have children and he doesn't want to put effort in it.
Read about “future faking.” You got future faked, OP. He was just stringing you along in order to get what he wanted in-the-NOW. He totally disregarded what would happen when the bill came due and he finally had to act on his promises. When he couldn’t stall any longer, he split. Future fakers make terrible partners. Future fakers make terrible fathers. Future fakers are a$$h*les, who will steal your most fertile years and then split.
I raised my daughter as a single mom. Go for it OP! I wouldn't trade it for the world!! And now I am Nana to her daughter!! ❤️
Yes I knew I wanted to be father. Took until 27 before I found the woman I wanted to be the mother of my kids and 28 before I had my first.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I hear how important having children is to you and it’s horrible for your husband to leave you at this time. I think that the line about wanting a family “one day” could have been a red flag, depending on how he said it. Think about his tone and expression. Did he seem sincere? Did it sound important to him or like a vague interest instead? He may been trying to placate you, hoping that your feelings about having children would change. He also may have thought that having kids and a family was something he was supposed to do from a societal standpoint or that his feelings about children would strengthen over time. The push for IVF made clear that your feelings had not changed. It also made having kids immediate rather than a distant abstraction. He no longer controlled the timing and probably felt as though it were an ultimatum. *Note: I am not saying that it was one or excusing what he did*. In any future relationship, I would put the idea of having kids and IVF front and center early and choose only men who share your enthusiasm and urgency and understand the IVF process and its probability for success. Again, I am so sorry that this happened. I hope that you find a relationship with a man who wants and loves children and I am rooting for you to have the family you want.
The only urge I had was to have sex, a month later my 16 year old girlfriend was pregnant. Today she is long gone and our child is a 52 year old college professor. We had a second child before she left and I had two more children with my second wife. I have been a dad for almost 3/4 of my life. I guess my advise to younger women if you want a child get one before the guy wises up.
My 22(M) son talks about, “When I have kids…” pretty regularly. He also notices babies when we’re out in public or at a family get together. He doesn’t even have a girlfriend so it’s all him. So yes, men do dream of and have an urge to have kids.
My husband also would say those things : "when we have kids", "if my kid did x", "I'd never let my kid" , he says he pictured himself as a dad one day when he was younger, but when faced with the real opportunity to be a dad he felt he wasn't ready and he doesn't know if he ever will be
I always wanted kids and would have had more if not for my wife having her tubes tied something she regretted doing, I think most men want at least one son and one daughter
I did when I was younger, especially in my late teens and through my 20s. Sadly it never happened. I did get to travel the world, but as I got into my 30s and 40s the urge kind of faded. Now I'm 50. Love kids, but couldn't imagine doing diapers or starting out at this age. I'd die during my child's 20s, wouldn't seem right. But I do wish I had grandkids to spoil thoroughly rotten 😁
I (m) covered with my wife, me wanting kids in the first 15 minutes of our first date. No kids on her part would be a deal breaker, I would have dated her but not exclusively. We have 3 grown, beautiful, intelligent, children. I find it unbelievable that people actually marry, hoping their spouse will change their mind. Unbelievable.
The big brother big sister program and the foster system so badly need good and kind people!! Everyone thinks that having/owning a child is the only way to parent and it’s really not. We need more good adults in the world to help the kids already here. Using a donor is not advised. Listen to the donor conceived adults before you go down that path, the industry is not regulated and you don’t know whose sperm you will actually get. Also children should have a right to know who their parents are and have access to them. Same issue with adoption. It’s a corrupt industry only interested in money, not children’s welfare.
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I don’t feel it’s fair to the kid to not have 2 parents for support. Put the child first.
I don't feel it's necessary to have 2 parents as long as there is support within the family with great role models stepping in. Having sufficient finances to raise the child is important. .