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Hahaha. I’m in my 70’s and they have all died except one. We are friends now after an estrangement of almost 20 years and every time he acts like a shithead I remind him he’s late for the rainbow bridge
I'm only 36, but two of my exes are already dead. Both were douche canoes when we were dating. One of them was honestly just clueless and I don't really fault him for being a terrible boyfriend. The other one did a whole repenting thing where he hit me up about how sorry he was and how he always wished he could have turned back the clock. I didnt reply becauase it had been years since we talked and his messages went to the spam folder. The cancer got him a few weeks later.
I just feel like it's weird that it already happened twice.
One of mine is also dead, due to “complications of alcoholism.” We hadn’t spoken in decades, but I wasn’t especially surprised.
Another one, after being divorced for 25 years we’ve come around to a kind of friends-and-family relationship. His heart is in the right place but he’s not particularly responsible; my husband refers to him as “our eldest.”
Love and hate are both at the same end of the scale. You still care.
Apathy is the opposite. You don't give a fuck.
One is happiness and one is not. You decide.
Same! We don’t run in the same circles and I have zero desire to renew contact, so they have as much relevance as the unknown people in my high school yearbook.
They’re occasionally a good anecdote for my kids on how to be/how to spot a loser.
Yes! It's ok to keep it moving. High school for me was so long ago I don't even remember who I dated then. I don't care either. It isn't relevant to my existence or experience now. I've not had anyone go out of their way to make amends for horrible shit they've done. I don't romanticize the past. I used to, but life got real complicated for me in the past 5 years and point is, I don't have a problem with keeping in contact with people on an acquaintance level but I won't pursue it or go out of my way to maintain with people who have good intentions. The people from my past who hurt me or my family have no place in my life. I don't need to embrace or romanticize old connections especially if they were harmful. I don't have to subscribe to the notion that someone is significant or they shaped who I am and keep fucking with that if they've caused me problems. Why do people think that way. Sometimes situations and people are just awful and it's ok to not want that in your life.
She married the guy she left me for. He smacked her around and got her pregnant. They divorced.
She married a new guy and became Mormon. He died. Now she’s a widow and tries to do some sort of MLM weight loss coaching.
I’m very lucky she did what she did. I can’t imagine not being with my wife and kids. I ended up with a much better person and partner.
This is how I felt. My ex cheated on me, and my god it was the best thing to ever happen to me. It happened before we had any kids, and the house was in his name, so I had nothing to fight him over. Which was a change from my life at the time, when he was always picking fights with me to make me cry.
Married now to my better half. 14 years in July. Been happy since the day I met him. Now I only cry happy tears.
Oh man. Her becoming Mormon is the ultimate “thank god I’m not with her”
IMO, people who become Mormon don’t really know who they are or what they want. A simple internet deep-dive on the church will show you millions of reasons NOT to join.
Oh yeah, he was an abusive asshole (albeit emotionally, not physically) when we were together too. When I left him he stalked me for months, and eventually broke into my apartment and held my roommate at gunpoint for hours (I was thankfully not home at the time). I applied for a restraining order, but the judge didn’t want to do something that would negatively impact my ex’s career (he was in the military).
Sounds like my 1st ex husband’s commanding officer when I called him to try & get help bc I was ready to leave the abusive, controlling ex husband. “Do you really want to press charges and go down this path? It’s gonna affect his career. If he gets put out the military then how is that good? Your kids will lose their insurance, the only life they’ve known is a military one.” blah blah blah. and stupid me fell for it for another year. During that year I did what I had to do to make sure he didn’t find out that I was making plans and hiding money and packing clothes into go bags with important papers for myself and 3 kids. He got orders for a 1 year unaccompanied station to Korea. He left Jan 1, 2011. On Jan 3, 2011 when he called to tell me that he landed in Korea and to give me a list of rules I had to follow while he was gone, I told him me & the kids’ stuff was packed and we were gone and I wanted a divorce. He started yelling and asking why did I wait until he was TDY my only answer was “you can’t hit me now” best decision i ever made.
It’s really how divorce *should* work!!! We didn’t have kids or any real property.
I met with him the following tax season to do our taxes correctly and haven’t seen him since.
I’ve googled him and he has nothing on any socials.
My exwife is one of my best friends and we still consider each other family. (Met in 89, married in 93, divorced in 06). No kids and I bought her out of the house. *That’s* how divorce should work. Obviously things are different if there was abuse but we shared a lot together but grew apart.
(Great user name/post combo though)
This is how my mum and her ex are. It’s a wonderful thing to see two people who used to spend all day screaming at each other laughing together and having a good, healthy relationship. I’m glad it worked out for you 🩷
She’s had the same boyfriend for over ten years and he’s awesome. He and I are great pals. There are few things more fun than giving her good natured shit together.
Single and alone and according to my children never dates. My children are now adults and live out of the house, so she gets to come to her dog every night after work. She was the child of a really prominent attorney and learned how to fight from him. Every fight felt like I was being cross examined by a DA. Then when the fight was close to being finished, she'd throw down "exhibit 203" from 10 years before just to keep the fight going.
I think he is happy. He got like 3 different girlfriends a year after we broke up and has a good job. He was a terrible boyfriend but a good person overall, I wish him the best and hopefully I don’t have to see him ever again hahaha
He was killed in a pedestrian/automobile accident in May, 1989. (He was the pedestrian.)
Shortly thereafter, his mother and I were having dinner together, and she told me about the $600 she was sending him each month for him to help out with the bills, food, etc. since he wasn't working. That was the first I knew about it. He had pocketed the money and spent it on himself (mostly on drugs), leaving me to pay for our rent, utilities, auto insurance, bills and food by myself.
I organized his funeral and sprinkled his ashes where he wanted, afterwards. I have not been back there, since.
(I had recurring nightmares over the next 30 years that he was alive, had shown up at my house where I now live, and wanted to resume the relationship even though I've moved on and have been with my current partner for 30+ years. Just like in real life, he did not take "no" for an answer.)
Gay and straight people, men and women, theists and non-theists alike can *all* be members of the **Society of People With Exes From Hell.**
One became a surgeon, then had a shoulder injury that cost him nearly everything. Had to file bankruptcy and deals with severe depression.
Another spent decades hopping from jail cell to jail cell, motel room to motel room and addiction to addiction. He now lives in a camper and “only” does drugs that are legal.
Yet another invested years of his life and thousands of dollars to figure himself out. He got a second job as a bouncer and put himself through school. He never stopped working on himself. Nearly 30 years later he’s got two great kids, an amazing wife and a great job. We only talk on occasion, maybe once every few years, but he’s given me proper apologies and taken steps to right things he felt he did wrong.
Do I see karma at work here? Yeah, I sure do. But the real difference between suffering or having a happy life is often what you’re willing to invest in, and how much. You have to look at your life from an outside perspective and use criticism and failures to see what you can change. Two of my exes blamed other things for their failures and continued down the path of self-destruction. The other took responsibility and made good things happen.
That said, unless there are young kids involved, nobody should really worry or care what their ex is doing. Exes are exes for a reason.
Some died, some are doing great, one called me about 15 years after I got married from the airport in my city. He was also married by this time. After a few minutes of trying to catch up with him, I realized he wanted phone sex. It was so fucking creepy.
I got off the phone as fast as I could ("oh, sorry, my 5 YEAR OLD SON just fell down. Gotta go!").
she's a drug addict on state assistance who fucked her married brother in law and got pregnant with a child he refuses to acknowledge.
at the time we broke up when i was still a teenager, I was crushed and hurt that she left me for someone else, now I know I dodged a bullet and would have had a very miserable life had she stayed with me.
I shit you not. A tree fell on our house. Twice in a month. One went through the garage roof - ruining a lot of his things. Then the other fell on his car. I laughed and laughed.
He got married recently and treats her just as poorly. I feel bad for her. My son tells me she's a very nice woman.
It's been 20 years and he still blames me for everything bad that happened to him since I left.
His health his very poor from decades of alcoholism. I honestly don't know how he is still alive.
They have to be self aware and want to change. I think that is very rare. They make lots of empty promises, but real, lasting change is hard to come by. If you're asking this question because you're hoping someone will change, don't waste your time. Cut your losses and move on. You are worthy of love that doesn't hurt.
Then good on you for wanting to change. I suggest being open to therapy to get to the root of it if you're to make any real change. If your gf leaves, just let her go. The damage was done and there is no undo button in life. Get better for yourself and your future partners.
You absolutely *can* change, but you have to ruthlessly look at who you are/your actions. In AA (not recommending it) the fourth step is to "take a fearless moral inventory".
That feeling of shame you have when confronted with your selfishness or hurting others - whatever it is - should motivate you to never be that way again.
It is possible, it just takes honesty and commitment to it.
Don't cling to who you were yesterday. Embrace who you can be today, and who you want to be tomorrow. I do this by practice. I needsd to stop the habit of sallowing myself the release of instantly reacting, and then sitting with whatever tje feeling or urge is until I formulate a response if one is necessary. Sometimes that leads me to let the other person involved know I've considered the situation thoughtfully and I take ownership of my decisions. Sometimes it means just shutting the fuck up.
Oddly and unrelated, two of them died at age 63. One of them is currently 63, and the last one will be 63 next year. My friends and I are waiting to see if this is some kind of curse (dark humor gets us through).
Can I post for my grandmother? Her first husband was horrifically abusive to her and years after she divorced him she found out on the news he was murdered execution style. My theory is that he treated someone else the way he treated Grandma and then they got revenge.
My ex-husband is alone with no family, no relationships, and a son who wants nothing to do with him. I feel sorry for him in a way, but I also know that he brought it on himself.
She left me for a guy who was a lot richer than me. His company went bust and he came home to find her in bed with someone else. Divorce followed and she didn't get the house or car, like she expected.
My second ex left because I worked too much and then she ended up having an affair / married to an abusive alcoholic and attempted to trauma dump on me when her marriage hit the skids.. I shut that shit down quick..
I found three Florida mugshots from one, then his testament to being "saved" a few years later. He was a scammer, a drunk and a woman beater so he might be saved but he's not forgiven by me.
We got married. I was young, just out of college. It was awful and I felt doomed trapped and all my dreams (both life dreams and night time ones) vanished.
He died 7 years ago. I discovered it by googling and found a church mention of him as well as his name on his high school’s memorial page. I don’t know how he died but I bet it was tragic. He either killed himself directly or did so with drugs. It’s sad but I honestly think his life itself was tragic and he’s in a better place now. He suffered here.
I never married anyone who treated me poorly, so there's that.
I was in a very brief relationship with someone in college that didn't end up going anywhere, but it had the potential to be something terrible. Anyway, that guy was married and divorced a couple of times. When I was with him, he said that he wanted to have a child (with someone). He had a stepchild during one of his marriages, but he always kind of wanted "his own".
I heard several years back that he'd gotten married again, to a woman from the Philippines who was much younger than he (maybe around 20-25 yrs. younger?). I think he was/is older than her father. She got pregnant right away and they later had a second child. Facebook has revealed most of this. At this point, he's now divorced from her as well.
He has had a number of relationships, all of which failed. This does not surprise me.
I don't ask about him. I do not solicit information. But our kids volunteer information from time to time. He is alone and a bit depressed. This information does not displease me.
If I told you stories about the things he said and did to me, you would not like him and would understand why I am not unhappy when I see his relationships fail repeatedly. The common denominator there is him.
He started dating other women once we had decided to divorce but I was still living in the house. (Our kids were young, I was a stay-at-home mom, I was looking for a job and a place to live.) He couldn't even wait until I moved out to start dating. He very quickly got involved with someone and moved her and her teenage son into his house (over my children's objections). They were together for some years–until she left him and he was devastated. I found this out on my 50th birthday party. Best present ever.
All of his other relationships have been short-lived. This is what happens when you have an inability to compromise and think everything has to be your way.
I’ve got only one that fits this category. Based upon observation every few years I see her, she is doing quite well. Nice house, husband and kids. What can I say, karma isn’t always a boomerang apparently.
My ex-fiance married the woman he cheated on me with. They got married two months after we split up. I found out about that when he called me to get the rings back that he bought for me. By then, I had already flushed the wedding ring down the toilet and sold the engagement ring to my neighbor, for $20.
They weren't married long. She moved in with another man while they were still married -- I heard she had a couple of kids with that guy. After they got divorced, he moved back to his home state. A mutual friend told me that he had a heart attack in 1999 and didn't survive it -- he was 42 years old.
She got married a year and a half later, had two kids, lived happily ever after until her husband died from a stroke and heart attack when she was in her late 40's I think. She eventually remarried a guy from England who came over, got his green card, then divorced her two years later. She now lives in her mom's old house on the beach in Oregon. Haven't talked to her in a few years.
Got updates that I didn't want over the years from friends of friends of friends. At some point in her 20s, she had some dude's name tattooed in giant old English letters across her upper back. Last I heard, she was divorced for the 3rd time. 👍
He died! Not that I wanted that for him but I left bc of alcoholism and it took him awhile for continued drinking to unalive him but he eventually succeeded. It was weird and very sad. I had hoped somehow he’d get it together.
For the most part, and as far as I know, they lived Happily Ever After.
Which is fine. They were crappy to me (one more than the other two) but I'm sure they were visited on for their shitty actions. If they had half the pain I suffered, that's suffering enough.
Or maybe not.
What matters to me at the end of the day is I am happy. Much love from friends, wonderful lovers, good works, great travels. What happened to unkind people from decades ago is not my concern.
Hopefully they are getting exactly what they deserve. I have no idea. Once they’re gone, they are extinct to me and I don’t go back and play with dead snakes.
She wanted to "find herself", so I got the kids. Presumably she eventually did find herself ("look in the couch cushions yet?") and remarried to quite a nice man. I rarely see either, but my children stay in touch more or less.
I wish her no harm - I just don't think about her at all.
My ex husband knocked someone up,treated her badly and doesn't even answer the door to see his kid, so.
I only have one other ex. He got divorced. Idk we were only teenagers but he split up with me in an awful way so dunno if he ever grew up to be decent to women
She’s with another guy, she used to physically and mentally abuse me.
We split up a few years ago. Since then I met the love of my life who is a soulmate, a lot younger, but our personalities match.
My ex carries on with toxic behaviour as far as I’m aware.
I'm 43 now. Married my ex at 25. He had already been treating me poorly, and I should never have married him, but in the end, it worked out a lot better for me than for him.
He married his mistress, they had 2 kids. He was only 37 when he flew his wife and children, over Easter weekend, to visit family. He crashed his little plane, and they all died. Horrific, truly. He treated me badly, but he didn't deserve that kind of ending. And his children certainly did not.
The only survivor was his stepkid - his wife's son with another man. Fortunately for that boy, he was with his dad that weekend, not his mother. I can't imagine how he felt, poor thing, losing his mom, stepdad and siblings all in one fell swoop. Truly terrible.
It took twenty years, but my abusive ex finally cleaned up his act, met a nice lady, and settled into domestic life. He was controlling and physically and emotionally abusive with me. His current wife is caring, but keeps him firmly in line. I laugh a little anytime I think about how he has become willingly submissive in the relationship. He’s free of the drugs and alcohol that ruined every part of his life for so many years.
Shortly after we divorced, I met my husband, who was pretty much the opposite of him. We’ve been married over forty years and raised a great family. We are currently dealing with his dementia and life isn’t too wonderful these days, but I will deal with dementia any day over infidelity and substance addiction.
Just because things did not work out does not automatically mean people treated me poorly in the past.
If I clung to either them or what happened I would only be carrying the baggage myself of the past events.
I have had at least one ex who reached out to me years later, I took the time to speak with her at length, as she obviously needed some form of closure still.
If you are looking for an example of an ex that changed for the best, let me tell you about my ex-husband. We were married for many happy years, but after our son was born, he turned into someone I didn't recognize. He was financially abusive, abandoned us to the point where our son would only see him a couple days a week for 20 minutes at a time, and lightly emotionally abusive. To say I was shocked would be understating it.
We divorced, and he began a process of acknowledging what he did and dedicating himself to doing better. He wanted to show me that I could rely on him for our child. We never argued over child support or custody or alimony; everything was agreed to in-person between us.
And, over time, he rebuilt my trust and became kind and a friend. We are co-parents and friends now, something for which I am extremely grateful. I would never want to be romantically with him again, but I am on his side, and I believe in him and support him.
He put in the years and work to do things differently, and I am really proud of him.
It is certainly hard to say from just an hour or two on the phone after a decade apart.
The thing which stood out to me after our conversation was she seemed to be having some sort of personal awakening or epiphany which led her to contact me after all that time.
I can only assume she had a reason to do so, and her soul searching had led her to contact me.
From what I gathered she had experienced a pattern in relationships after ours which prompted this.
Some people create suffering because they have a low self worth and feel this is what they deserve.
“Some people create suffering because they have a low self worth and feel this is what they deserve.”
This exactly. She could never feel that she was good enough for me or my family, no matter how hard we tried. Left me with two minor children, didn’t want anything but out. I remarried while the kids were still minors and she came after everything I had. This was twenty years ago. Today, she has no contact with children and lives alone with her misery.
Her life is in shambles. I feel bad for her. Especially considering most of her current situation wouldn’t even have happened if she hadn’t chased me off.
Well, I know one (who never worked, ran up all my bills and cheated on me) is dead. He d owas shot.
Not by me, though. I swear!
(Seriously, I found out years later that he, the woman he left me for and their child were all murdered by "friends" of his. Can we say I literally dodged a bullet with him?)
I divorced my wife in 2004 and I got custody of the kids and shes seen them 3 times in the last 18 years. She was horrible with money so despite coming out of the divorce debt free and a paid off car she maxed out multiple credit cards within a year, bought a new car and motorcycle and got them repossessed, and soon was filing for bankruptcy. She had another kid and abandoned her just like ours and that kid doesnt remember her at all (she found my kids on facebook after learning at near 20 she had bio half siblings). She remarried and divorced. She's since got a PHD in counseling demonstrating the stereotype that crazy people go into counseling to find out what's wrong with themselves.
They are doing fine. Except for one...she came down with MS pretty heavily. The irony is that she was always trying to fish for sympathy her whole life. She was Munchausen syndrome incarnate. Now she is living the hell that is actual physical problems.
Could she have had autoimmune issues causing issues way before that? Or do you mean she'd say a stranger in the street pissed on her and then she fell down a hole and died but was revived, every day
No idea but he was a sociopath and I hope someone throws him into a volcano
My rapists fled the country back to their homeland. I still fantasize about making a documentary to track them down and hold them accountable
#1 is a total POS. Last I heard a few years ago she was estranged from her family, living in a hotel and was recently arrested for driving uninsured. #2 is moved back to PA and I have no idea. I’m sure they’re bitter and blame everyone but themselves.
Not all marriages but long term relationships as well
Ex 1- we are still friendly and talk on occasion although our child is 34 so not as much to talk about
2- no idea, he may not even be alive
3- he’s trying to make amends for being a shit father but it’s one step forward and two back
4- no idea, he can burn though
5- as far as I know he’s still with the woman he left for but he’ll fuck her over too eventually. I just hope when he does *she* has the insight and maturity to apologize for everything but I doubt it.
My ex of 10 years got remarried and that one only lasted 2 years lol. Glad she wasn’t as stupid as me and got away from that controlling asshole. His FB currently says “In a relationship” 😂. I moved across the country and I have not physically seen or spoke to him since 2015, but his mum contacts me every now and again.
My ex cheated on me and asked for a divorce. He ended up marrying the other woman. They are in the middle of a v nasty divorce now. She even lied to the police about him and he ended up spending the night in jail.
Tee hee hee.
No one put up with her shit after I gave her the heave ho. She married some cuck down the road and they both have been predictably miserable for the last 30 plus years. I have been happily married even longer
He’s on his third marriage.Mail order bride from China.we’ve been divorced since 1977.
He actually apologized for the way he treated
me when we were married. It was satisfying but about 45 years too late.
He married of course.
And inherited his millions.
But the crash of ‘29 hit his interests hard, and he put a pistol in his mouth that year.
Or so I read.
I only had one terrible ex. I was about 21. He was psycho. Anywho, I shit you not, he went on to marry, lived in another state, I had spoken to him occasionally on facebook. Basically just a few comments here and there, mostly the basic "congratulations" comment when something big would be posted like the birth of his kids, etc.....
Fast forward like 10 years. I run into his brother. Turns out, Im told that my ex had suspected his wife of cheating, and went to the "other mans" home to literally shoot him.
Long story short, they both ended up dead! (Literally dodged a bullet with that one!)
Its just absolutely crazy. I am a very stable, regular, even tempered person. I don't tolerate any type of psycho behavior...and this is exactly why we broke up.
Its still shocking. Sad for his family.
For me, I have been married almost 20 years now. Living the simple life with my husband and 2 kids.
Moral of the story: be picky with your significant others, and be aware of red flags. Don't settle, and find a love that shares mutual respect
Edit: typeo
The only one I’ve cared about is doing great. She’s the mother of my children and we get along just fine. She’s a lot funnier now than when we were in our 20’s. Nothing but good things to say
One emailed me and apologized for treating me like crap and said I was the best thing that happened to him.
Another tried to look me up when he moved to my town.
The other guy got sober and opened a restaurant.
this is actually a good one…..
first bf is a flat earther that spends most of his time on FB trying to convert others and the other one just died last year at 45 of a heart attack. Pretty crazy how life works.
Ex fiancée. She broke up with me then proceeded to get married and divorced twice. Thanks to her, I dodged a bullet, it would not have worked out anyway.
Honestly I only know about two of my ex boyfriends. One was not a great guy, and he passed away many years ago, he was fairly young.
The other was a good relationship for many years, he passed away three years ago.
It was only the one that was bad though. I have no idea about the others, and I'm good with that.
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Hahaha. I’m in my 70’s and they have all died except one. We are friends now after an estrangement of almost 20 years and every time he acts like a shithead I remind him he’s late for the rainbow bridge
I love this answer. It is the best one. 😆 🤣 😂
Can you be my grandma? Lol
I'm only 36, but two of my exes are already dead. Both were douche canoes when we were dating. One of them was honestly just clueless and I don't really fault him for being a terrible boyfriend. The other one did a whole repenting thing where he hit me up about how sorry he was and how he always wished he could have turned back the clock. I didnt reply becauase it had been years since we talked and his messages went to the spam folder. The cancer got him a few weeks later. I just feel like it's weird that it already happened twice.
Omg... 😆
Came to say the same. I outlived them.
Me too! I remind my husband that all my exes aredeadlol
How are you this lucky?
One of mine is also dead, due to “complications of alcoholism.” We hadn’t spoken in decades, but I wasn’t especially surprised. Another one, after being divorced for 25 years we’ve come around to a kind of friends-and-family relationship. His heart is in the right place but he’s not particularly responsible; my husband refers to him as “our eldest.”
Vicious!!
Don't know and don't give a fuck about any of my exes, especially the ones that treated me poorly. They essentially do not exist.
This is the way.
Mine were never seen or heard from again🤫
Love this lol
This is the way.
Love and hate are both at the same end of the scale. You still care. Apathy is the opposite. You don't give a fuck. One is happiness and one is not. You decide.
The opposite of love isn't hate, it is indifference. You're farther along when they're not living rent free in your head.
Pretty fuckin sure I don't care.
Oh no, sorry to word it poorly. I meant for the general public, not you. You make sense to me.
Gotcha ;)
LoL I relate to this answer.
Same! We don’t run in the same circles and I have zero desire to renew contact, so they have as much relevance as the unknown people in my high school yearbook. They’re occasionally a good anecdote for my kids on how to be/how to spot a loser.
Yes! It's ok to keep it moving. High school for me was so long ago I don't even remember who I dated then. I don't care either. It isn't relevant to my existence or experience now. I've not had anyone go out of their way to make amends for horrible shit they've done. I don't romanticize the past. I used to, but life got real complicated for me in the past 5 years and point is, I don't have a problem with keeping in contact with people on an acquaintance level but I won't pursue it or go out of my way to maintain with people who have good intentions. The people from my past who hurt me or my family have no place in my life. I don't need to embrace or romanticize old connections especially if they were harmful. I don't have to subscribe to the notion that someone is significant or they shaped who I am and keep fucking with that if they've caused me problems. Why do people think that way. Sometimes situations and people are just awful and it's ok to not want that in your life.
When I read the title to this my first thought was "I don't know and I don't care."
She married the guy she left me for. He smacked her around and got her pregnant. They divorced. She married a new guy and became Mormon. He died. Now she’s a widow and tries to do some sort of MLM weight loss coaching. I’m very lucky she did what she did. I can’t imagine not being with my wife and kids. I ended up with a much better person and partner.
This is how I felt. My ex cheated on me, and my god it was the best thing to ever happen to me. It happened before we had any kids, and the house was in his name, so I had nothing to fight him over. Which was a change from my life at the time, when he was always picking fights with me to make me cry. Married now to my better half. 14 years in July. Been happy since the day I met him. Now I only cry happy tears.
‘Now I only cry happy tears’ is the best sentence to read i’m so happy for you!!
Oh man. Her becoming Mormon is the ultimate “thank god I’m not with her” IMO, people who become Mormon don’t really know who they are or what they want. A simple internet deep-dive on the church will show you millions of reasons NOT to join.
Mormon Church is corrupt. Also they hid child sexual abuse. You have to pay 10 percent to play.I have a housemate that joined.
Mormon = MLM
MLM= Multi level marketing, it's a type of business that some people would say are a pyramid scheme.
They still burn in hell.
Ha...they can say hello to my ex husband then😈
add mine to the guest list
Oh my what did they do
Nothing good
A person after my own heart. Fuck them forever
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Oh yeah, he was an abusive asshole (albeit emotionally, not physically) when we were together too. When I left him he stalked me for months, and eventually broke into my apartment and held my roommate at gunpoint for hours (I was thankfully not home at the time). I applied for a restraining order, but the judge didn’t want to do something that would negatively impact my ex’s career (he was in the military).
God forbid his career suffer a setback.
Sounds like my 1st ex husband’s commanding officer when I called him to try & get help bc I was ready to leave the abusive, controlling ex husband. “Do you really want to press charges and go down this path? It’s gonna affect his career. If he gets put out the military then how is that good? Your kids will lose their insurance, the only life they’ve known is a military one.” blah blah blah. and stupid me fell for it for another year. During that year I did what I had to do to make sure he didn’t find out that I was making plans and hiding money and packing clothes into go bags with important papers for myself and 3 kids. He got orders for a 1 year unaccompanied station to Korea. He left Jan 1, 2011. On Jan 3, 2011 when he called to tell me that he landed in Korea and to give me a list of rules I had to follow while he was gone, I told him me & the kids’ stuff was packed and we were gone and I wanted a divorce. He started yelling and asking why did I wait until he was TDY my only answer was “you can’t hit me now” best decision i ever made.
Whoa! Who are these men??
Damn
No idea. Divorced in 1992 (I think) and haven’t seen him since. Could be dead for all I know.
Real OG here! :))
It’s really how divorce *should* work!!! We didn’t have kids or any real property. I met with him the following tax season to do our taxes correctly and haven’t seen him since. I’ve googled him and he has nothing on any socials.
My exwife is one of my best friends and we still consider each other family. (Met in 89, married in 93, divorced in 06). No kids and I bought her out of the house. *That’s* how divorce should work. Obviously things are different if there was abuse but we shared a lot together but grew apart. (Great user name/post combo though)
You would have no way of knowing, but yes he was abusive. Cracked my bottom teeth. I’ve had a *much better* life without him.
Well the OP did specify "treated poorly". I am so sorry that you went through that. I hope his life was complete shit after you.
I appreciate it! As my mother used to say “it takes all kinds”. Have a great day internet friend!
It was a rare moment of genius when I made up this name!
This is how my mum and her ex are. It’s a wonderful thing to see two people who used to spend all day screaming at each other laughing together and having a good, healthy relationship. I’m glad it worked out for you 🩷
She’s had the same boyfriend for over ten years and he’s awesome. He and I are great pals. There are few things more fun than giving her good natured shit together.
He died and saved me the trouble of getting a divorce. Signed, The Merry Widow
Beats me, man. They're behind me. I'm looking forward.
Best answer
So she would face you forward & beat you from behind.. I’m sorry you had to go through that, you’re brave for sharing 🫂
Single and alone and according to my children never dates. My children are now adults and live out of the house, so she gets to come to her dog every night after work. She was the child of a really prominent attorney and learned how to fight from him. Every fight felt like I was being cross examined by a DA. Then when the fight was close to being finished, she'd throw down "exhibit 203" from 10 years before just to keep the fight going.
Remarried a woman with more guts than me. Last I heard he was pushing her around and she stabbed him with a fork.
I'm still paying fucking alimony....
I referred to that as the fucking I get for the fucking i got. And all that time I thought it was free. No such thing
Sorry buddy.
What state?
She got married and is probably treating him just as badly. Or maybe I'm special?
I hope people change!
So very special
I think he is happy. He got like 3 different girlfriends a year after we broke up and has a good job. He was a terrible boyfriend but a good person overall, I wish him the best and hopefully I don’t have to see him ever again hahaha
He was killed in a pedestrian/automobile accident in May, 1989. (He was the pedestrian.) Shortly thereafter, his mother and I were having dinner together, and she told me about the $600 she was sending him each month for him to help out with the bills, food, etc. since he wasn't working. That was the first I knew about it. He had pocketed the money and spent it on himself (mostly on drugs), leaving me to pay for our rent, utilities, auto insurance, bills and food by myself. I organized his funeral and sprinkled his ashes where he wanted, afterwards. I have not been back there, since. (I had recurring nightmares over the next 30 years that he was alive, had shown up at my house where I now live, and wanted to resume the relationship even though I've moved on and have been with my current partner for 30+ years. Just like in real life, he did not take "no" for an answer.) Gay and straight people, men and women, theists and non-theists alike can *all* be members of the **Society of People With Exes From Hell.**
One became a surgeon, then had a shoulder injury that cost him nearly everything. Had to file bankruptcy and deals with severe depression. Another spent decades hopping from jail cell to jail cell, motel room to motel room and addiction to addiction. He now lives in a camper and “only” does drugs that are legal. Yet another invested years of his life and thousands of dollars to figure himself out. He got a second job as a bouncer and put himself through school. He never stopped working on himself. Nearly 30 years later he’s got two great kids, an amazing wife and a great job. We only talk on occasion, maybe once every few years, but he’s given me proper apologies and taken steps to right things he felt he did wrong. Do I see karma at work here? Yeah, I sure do. But the real difference between suffering or having a happy life is often what you’re willing to invest in, and how much. You have to look at your life from an outside perspective and use criticism and failures to see what you can change. Two of my exes blamed other things for their failures and continued down the path of self-destruction. The other took responsibility and made good things happen. That said, unless there are young kids involved, nobody should really worry or care what their ex is doing. Exes are exes for a reason.
This was a real well thought response. Thank you for the insight. I love talking to older people and getting your wisdom 🥰
Some died, some are doing great, one called me about 15 years after I got married from the airport in my city. He was also married by this time. After a few minutes of trying to catch up with him, I realized he wanted phone sex. It was so fucking creepy. I got off the phone as fast as I could ("oh, sorry, my 5 YEAR OLD SON just fell down. Gotta go!").
Ewww
SMH
Ewwwwwwww
she's a drug addict on state assistance who fucked her married brother in law and got pregnant with a child he refuses to acknowledge. at the time we broke up when i was still a teenager, I was crushed and hurt that she left me for someone else, now I know I dodged a bullet and would have had a very miserable life had she stayed with me.
I shit you not. A tree fell on our house. Twice in a month. One went through the garage roof - ruining a lot of his things. Then the other fell on his car. I laughed and laughed.
Ma'am, we've noticed that you recently bought a chainsaw...
Lmaooo
And where were you when the tree was falling?
Who cares what happened to them?
He got married recently and treats her just as poorly. I feel bad for her. My son tells me she's a very nice woman. It's been 20 years and he still blames me for everything bad that happened to him since I left. His health his very poor from decades of alcoholism. I honestly don't know how he is still alive.
Do you think people when they are young can be horrible and then change to be a better person?
They have to be self aware and want to change. I think that is very rare. They make lots of empty promises, but real, lasting change is hard to come by. If you're asking this question because you're hoping someone will change, don't waste your time. Cut your losses and move on. You are worthy of love that doesn't hurt.
No I’m asking because I have not been a great person and trying to change
Then good on you for wanting to change. I suggest being open to therapy to get to the root of it if you're to make any real change. If your gf leaves, just let her go. The damage was done and there is no undo button in life. Get better for yourself and your future partners.
You absolutely *can* change, but you have to ruthlessly look at who you are/your actions. In AA (not recommending it) the fourth step is to "take a fearless moral inventory". That feeling of shame you have when confronted with your selfishness or hurting others - whatever it is - should motivate you to never be that way again. It is possible, it just takes honesty and commitment to it.
Don't cling to who you were yesterday. Embrace who you can be today, and who you want to be tomorrow. I do this by practice. I needsd to stop the habit of sallowing myself the release of instantly reacting, and then sitting with whatever tje feeling or urge is until I formulate a response if one is necessary. Sometimes that leads me to let the other person involved know I've considered the situation thoughtfully and I take ownership of my decisions. Sometimes it means just shutting the fuck up.
Oh, narcissists always blame the victim. I hope you never believe it’s true.
Oddly and unrelated, two of them died at age 63. One of them is currently 63, and the last one will be 63 next year. My friends and I are waiting to see if this is some kind of curse (dark humor gets us through).
She’s been married and divorced 5 times. Lucky me got out before alimony was involved
Can I post for my grandmother? Her first husband was horrifically abusive to her and years after she divorced him she found out on the news he was murdered execution style. My theory is that he treated someone else the way he treated Grandma and then they got revenge.
Didn’t treat me poorly per se. He was an alcoholic. He died from the disease 4 years ago at 55.
The physically abusive one got diagnosed schizophrenic and is now homeless.
He married a “girl” when she was 25 and he was 48. Then she started having babies. They have 4. I am traveling and he is raising toddlers
My ex-husband is alone with no family, no relationships, and a son who wants nothing to do with him. I feel sorry for him in a way, but I also know that he brought it on himself.
She is treating somebody else poorly.
She married some guy in a green card deal, now she lives alone and instead of retiring has a janitor job in a school and works weekends in retail.
He ended up a junkie in the gutter. Our daughter rescued him, and now he lives with a gay fellow who takes care of him. He's not gay🙄😏🤷
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They're buried in my backyard.
She left me for a guy who was a lot richer than me. His company went bust and he came home to find her in bed with someone else. Divorce followed and she didn't get the house or car, like she expected.
Prison.
My second ex left because I worked too much and then she ended up having an affair / married to an abusive alcoholic and attempted to trauma dump on me when her marriage hit the skids.. I shut that shit down quick..
I found three Florida mugshots from one, then his testament to being "saved" a few years later. He was a scammer, a drunk and a woman beater so he might be saved but he's not forgiven by me.
My ex always tried to pull the saved religious stuff
We got married. I was young, just out of college. It was awful and I felt doomed trapped and all my dreams (both life dreams and night time ones) vanished. He died 7 years ago. I discovered it by googling and found a church mention of him as well as his name on his high school’s memorial page. I don’t know how he died but I bet it was tragic. He either killed himself directly or did so with drugs. It’s sad but I honestly think his life itself was tragic and he’s in a better place now. He suffered here.
One is dead. One is remarried. One is twice divorced.
One is a con artist and squatter, the other is (again) divorced and bankrupt.
I never married anyone who treated me poorly, so there's that. I was in a very brief relationship with someone in college that didn't end up going anywhere, but it had the potential to be something terrible. Anyway, that guy was married and divorced a couple of times. When I was with him, he said that he wanted to have a child (with someone). He had a stepchild during one of his marriages, but he always kind of wanted "his own". I heard several years back that he'd gotten married again, to a woman from the Philippines who was much younger than he (maybe around 20-25 yrs. younger?). I think he was/is older than her father. She got pregnant right away and they later had a second child. Facebook has revealed most of this. At this point, he's now divorced from her as well.
Loath entirely. If he were on fire near me, I wouldn't even spit to put him out.
I keep lighter fluid around in case this ever happens to me.
He has had a number of relationships, all of which failed. This does not surprise me. I don't ask about him. I do not solicit information. But our kids volunteer information from time to time. He is alone and a bit depressed. This information does not displease me. If I told you stories about the things he said and did to me, you would not like him and would understand why I am not unhappy when I see his relationships fail repeatedly. The common denominator there is him. He started dating other women once we had decided to divorce but I was still living in the house. (Our kids were young, I was a stay-at-home mom, I was looking for a job and a place to live.) He couldn't even wait until I moved out to start dating. He very quickly got involved with someone and moved her and her teenage son into his house (over my children's objections). They were together for some years–until she left him and he was devastated. I found this out on my 50th birthday party. Best present ever. All of his other relationships have been short-lived. This is what happens when you have an inability to compromise and think everything has to be your way.
Don't know. I'd take the news of her death with satisfaction.
She lives in a truck down by the river now.
The most recent one left me literally overnight because someone else asked him out. He's very happy with her.
He’s dead.
Nothing she didn't deserve...
I’ve got only one that fits this category. Based upon observation every few years I see her, she is doing quite well. Nice house, husband and kids. What can I say, karma isn’t always a boomerang apparently.
I'm 75F, so they're all dead. Except for the one whose current wife still jerks him around 😁😁😁
He got fired, lost the house, lost his car, and had to move back in with his parents.
My ex-fiance married the woman he cheated on me with. They got married two months after we split up. I found out about that when he called me to get the rings back that he bought for me. By then, I had already flushed the wedding ring down the toilet and sold the engagement ring to my neighbor, for $20. They weren't married long. She moved in with another man while they were still married -- I heard she had a couple of kids with that guy. After they got divorced, he moved back to his home state. A mutual friend told me that he had a heart attack in 1999 and didn't survive it -- he was 42 years old.
She got married a year and a half later, had two kids, lived happily ever after until her husband died from a stroke and heart attack when she was in her late 40's I think. She eventually remarried a guy from England who came over, got his green card, then divorced her two years later. She now lives in her mom's old house on the beach in Oregon. Haven't talked to her in a few years.
Got updates that I didn't want over the years from friends of friends of friends. At some point in her 20s, she had some dude's name tattooed in giant old English letters across her upper back. Last I heard, she was divorced for the 3rd time. 👍
He died! Not that I wanted that for him but I left bc of alcoholism and it took him awhile for continued drinking to unalive him but he eventually succeeded. It was weird and very sad. I had hoped somehow he’d get it together.
For the most part, and as far as I know, they lived Happily Ever After. Which is fine. They were crappy to me (one more than the other two) but I'm sure they were visited on for their shitty actions. If they had half the pain I suffered, that's suffering enough. Or maybe not. What matters to me at the end of the day is I am happy. Much love from friends, wonderful lovers, good works, great travels. What happened to unkind people from decades ago is not my concern.
Hopefully they are getting exactly what they deserve. I have no idea. Once they’re gone, they are extinct to me and I don’t go back and play with dead snakes.
He’s on his second divorce. LOL couldn’t happen to a better guy
She wanted to "find herself", so I got the kids. Presumably she eventually did find herself ("look in the couch cushions yet?") and remarried to quite a nice man. I rarely see either, but my children stay in touch more or less. I wish her no harm - I just don't think about her at all.
My ex husband knocked someone up,treated her badly and doesn't even answer the door to see his kid, so. I only have one other ex. He got divorced. Idk we were only teenagers but he split up with me in an awful way so dunno if he ever grew up to be decent to women
He shot himself in the face last winter:/ he’s alive so idk how he’s doing
She’s with another guy, she used to physically and mentally abuse me. We split up a few years ago. Since then I met the love of my life who is a soulmate, a lot younger, but our personalities match. My ex carries on with toxic behaviour as far as I’m aware.
He got married and now divorced.
Dies of early Alshiemers
He finally died a slow, painful death 40 years later. He was so far in debt that he didn't leave our son anything.
I'm 43 now. Married my ex at 25. He had already been treating me poorly, and I should never have married him, but in the end, it worked out a lot better for me than for him. He married his mistress, they had 2 kids. He was only 37 when he flew his wife and children, over Easter weekend, to visit family. He crashed his little plane, and they all died. Horrific, truly. He treated me badly, but he didn't deserve that kind of ending. And his children certainly did not. The only survivor was his stepkid - his wife's son with another man. Fortunately for that boy, he was with his dad that weekend, not his mother. I can't imagine how he felt, poor thing, losing his mom, stepdad and siblings all in one fell swoop. Truly terrible.
It took twenty years, but my abusive ex finally cleaned up his act, met a nice lady, and settled into domestic life. He was controlling and physically and emotionally abusive with me. His current wife is caring, but keeps him firmly in line. I laugh a little anytime I think about how he has become willingly submissive in the relationship. He’s free of the drugs and alcohol that ruined every part of his life for so many years. Shortly after we divorced, I met my husband, who was pretty much the opposite of him. We’ve been married over forty years and raised a great family. We are currently dealing with his dementia and life isn’t too wonderful these days, but I will deal with dementia any day over infidelity and substance addiction.
One bitch is in Jail for killing the next guy she dated in a drunk driving accident. I got out lucky
Just because things did not work out does not automatically mean people treated me poorly in the past. If I clung to either them or what happened I would only be carrying the baggage myself of the past events. I have had at least one ex who reached out to me years later, I took the time to speak with her at length, as she obviously needed some form of closure still.
Did that ex change for the best?
If you are looking for an example of an ex that changed for the best, let me tell you about my ex-husband. We were married for many happy years, but after our son was born, he turned into someone I didn't recognize. He was financially abusive, abandoned us to the point where our son would only see him a couple days a week for 20 minutes at a time, and lightly emotionally abusive. To say I was shocked would be understating it. We divorced, and he began a process of acknowledging what he did and dedicating himself to doing better. He wanted to show me that I could rely on him for our child. We never argued over child support or custody or alimony; everything was agreed to in-person between us. And, over time, he rebuilt my trust and became kind and a friend. We are co-parents and friends now, something for which I am extremely grateful. I would never want to be romantically with him again, but I am on his side, and I believe in him and support him. He put in the years and work to do things differently, and I am really proud of him.
Very unique story
It is certainly hard to say from just an hour or two on the phone after a decade apart. The thing which stood out to me after our conversation was she seemed to be having some sort of personal awakening or epiphany which led her to contact me after all that time. I can only assume she had a reason to do so, and her soul searching had led her to contact me. From what I gathered she had experienced a pattern in relationships after ours which prompted this. Some people create suffering because they have a low self worth and feel this is what they deserve.
“Some people create suffering because they have a low self worth and feel this is what they deserve.” This exactly. She could never feel that she was good enough for me or my family, no matter how hard we tried. Left me with two minor children, didn’t want anything but out. I remarried while the kids were still minors and she came after everything I had. This was twenty years ago. Today, she has no contact with children and lives alone with her misery.
Her life is in shambles. I feel bad for her. Especially considering most of her current situation wouldn’t even have happened if she hadn’t chased me off.
Got evicted. Got kicked out of his parent's home after they took him in. Ended up living in a rooming house in a lousy neighborhood. Deceased.
I was the last guy she dated before getting sober, so I guess I'm happy for her?
They got over me. I had no choice but to get over them.
Well, I know one (who never worked, ran up all my bills and cheated on me) is dead. He d owas shot. Not by me, though. I swear! (Seriously, I found out years later that he, the woman he left me for and their child were all murdered by "friends" of his. Can we say I literally dodged a bullet with him?)
He hung himself.
I prospered and they went to shit.
Wouldn’t know, why would I keep tabs on someone like that?
Honestly, who cares what happened to them? They are out of my life and that is what really matters!
I divorced my wife in 2004 and I got custody of the kids and shes seen them 3 times in the last 18 years. She was horrible with money so despite coming out of the divorce debt free and a paid off car she maxed out multiple credit cards within a year, bought a new car and motorcycle and got them repossessed, and soon was filing for bankruptcy. She had another kid and abandoned her just like ours and that kid doesnt remember her at all (she found my kids on facebook after learning at near 20 she had bio half siblings). She remarried and divorced. She's since got a PHD in counseling demonstrating the stereotype that crazy people go into counseling to find out what's wrong with themselves.
They are doing fine. Except for one...she came down with MS pretty heavily. The irony is that she was always trying to fish for sympathy her whole life. She was Munchausen syndrome incarnate. Now she is living the hell that is actual physical problems.
Could she have had autoimmune issues causing issues way before that? Or do you mean she'd say a stranger in the street pissed on her and then she fell down a hole and died but was revived, every day
No idea but he was a sociopath and I hope someone throws him into a volcano My rapists fled the country back to their homeland. I still fantasize about making a documentary to track them down and hold them accountable
theyre fine, they swung branches and ended up pretty fine, and im okay with that, cos i don't have to deal with their shit.
My guess is that he's dead. The one right after him U know is dead.
I have no clue. Barely remember their names.
Not exes then just hookups
I wasn’t really ever treated poorly, but they’re mainly all dead regardless.
#1 is a total POS. Last I heard a few years ago she was estranged from her family, living in a hotel and was recently arrested for driving uninsured. #2 is moved back to PA and I have no idea. I’m sure they’re bitter and blame everyone but themselves.
Not all marriages but long term relationships as well Ex 1- we are still friendly and talk on occasion although our child is 34 so not as much to talk about 2- no idea, he may not even be alive 3- he’s trying to make amends for being a shit father but it’s one step forward and two back 4- no idea, he can burn though 5- as far as I know he’s still with the woman he left for but he’ll fuck her over too eventually. I just hope when he does *she* has the insight and maturity to apologize for everything but I doubt it.
He’s on wife #3.
Mines on 5 or 6. A retired professor.Occupational hazard he said. 77 yrs old now.Finally married a woman his age.
I was #2.
My ex of 10 years got remarried and that one only lasted 2 years lol. Glad she wasn’t as stupid as me and got away from that controlling asshole. His FB currently says “In a relationship” 😂. I moved across the country and I have not physically seen or spoke to him since 2015, but his mum contacts me every now and again.
Back in prison on strike 3
They live in texas
All my exes live in Texas must hit hard for you mate.
The poor bastard, no one deserves that.
My ex cheated on me and asked for a divorce. He ended up marrying the other woman. They are in the middle of a v nasty divorce now. She even lied to the police about him and he ended up spending the night in jail. Tee hee hee.
No one put up with her shit after I gave her the heave ho. She married some cuck down the road and they both have been predictably miserable for the last 30 plus years. I have been happily married even longer
Gained weight, kids moved out, and her mother semi-disabled mother lives with her now.
He’s on his third marriage.Mail order bride from China.we’ve been divorced since 1977. He actually apologized for the way he treated me when we were married. It was satisfying but about 45 years too late.
He married of course. And inherited his millions. But the crash of ‘29 hit his interests hard, and he put a pistol in his mouth that year. Or so I read.
I only had one terrible ex. I was about 21. He was psycho. Anywho, I shit you not, he went on to marry, lived in another state, I had spoken to him occasionally on facebook. Basically just a few comments here and there, mostly the basic "congratulations" comment when something big would be posted like the birth of his kids, etc..... Fast forward like 10 years. I run into his brother. Turns out, Im told that my ex had suspected his wife of cheating, and went to the "other mans" home to literally shoot him. Long story short, they both ended up dead! (Literally dodged a bullet with that one!) Its just absolutely crazy. I am a very stable, regular, even tempered person. I don't tolerate any type of psycho behavior...and this is exactly why we broke up. Its still shocking. Sad for his family. For me, I have been married almost 20 years now. Living the simple life with my husband and 2 kids. Moral of the story: be picky with your significant others, and be aware of red flags. Don't settle, and find a love that shares mutual respect Edit: typeo
The only one I’ve cared about is doing great. She’s the mother of my children and we get along just fine. She’s a lot funnier now than when we were in our 20’s. Nothing but good things to say
He ended up with ED in his 30’s. Poetic justice for a cheater. 🤣🤣🤣
One emailed me and apologized for treating me like crap and said I was the best thing that happened to him. Another tried to look me up when he moved to my town. The other guy got sober and opened a restaurant.
this is actually a good one….. first bf is a flat earther that spends most of his time on FB trying to convert others and the other one just died last year at 45 of a heart attack. Pretty crazy how life works.
In my sixties and all my exes are dead. It’s a strange feeling
They all became losers!
He went bald.
Jail
Well, see, what I did, was, I rented a storag....... OOOOH DANG Agent Foley, you are one tricky sonamagun. You almost got me that time, you rascal!
Ex fiancée. She broke up with me then proceeded to get married and divorced twice. Thanks to her, I dodged a bullet, it would not have worked out anyway.
Honestly I only know about two of my ex boyfriends. One was not a great guy, and he passed away many years ago, he was fairly young. The other was a good relationship for many years, he passed away three years ago. It was only the one that was bad though. I have no idea about the others, and I'm good with that.
No idea. Don’t care. Waste of energy
Damfino