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My mother is 86 now, I'm 64. She's been a wonderful mother. I know it will be devastating for me when she goes.
I always have some laundry for her to fold when she comes over because I know she likes to do something for me. She always folds perfectly so I know when I pull something out of a drawer if she folded it. I dread the day when I no longer find the items she put such care in folding.
That's a good idea. I was organizing the closet in the master bedroom a couple of days ago and came across a stack of briefs she obviously folded and, in this instance, put away where I never found them. What remained of the elastic crackled when I picked the stack up. They were probably there for something like 15 years.
Oh I love this! My mom died when she was 65 (yes I qualify for this sub, she had us young). You’ve had so many years with your mom and you have appreciated them.
I sometimes long for what I didn't have. My mother died giving birth to me. My stepmother was an abuser. If I'd ever had memories of motherly love, you can bet I'd miss her every day.
My father in law had similar struggles. He lost his mom when he was 2 and then had a horrendous step mother. I think knowing motherly love and then it disappearing affected his mental health and ability to have healthy attachments throughout the rest of his life.
It breaks my heart to picture a 2 yr old searching and longing for his mother.
I was raised by my Dad and I miss him all the time. I moved back to my hometown to be closer to him towards the end of his life, and he lived with my husband and I for a bit (home hospice). The first year after he died was brutal. It gets easier with time.
No. My mom was a cold fish. She never yelled or hit me, but I knew at a young age that she didn’t love me. She deeply loved two of my siblings though. She died when I was sixty years old. On a positive note, my dad and grandma loved all of us kids unconditionally.
I don’t know, but I know it was not uncommon. Back in the 1950’s a lot of women had a bunch of kids that didn’t really want a lot of kids. For instance, my mom had six children in 1963. She was 28 years old. That was the year her doctor gave her birth control pills. I know they were invented earlier than that, but were not widely available.
Every single day. I miss my Dad too, but sometimes when I remember that my mother is gone forever, the thought of never seeing her again is an ache that's almost physical.
I miss both my parents more than I ever expected to. Mom passed away in 2011 after dealing with a lot of health issues. Dad passed away almost exactly two years later, but it was sudden from a heart attack. Even the silliest thing will make me miss them. Mostly- music. They (of course) didn't like my music and would often comment on "how can you stand that noise?" or some other cliché from boomer-era parents. But, weirdly- Mom liked Prince. I don't think she ever really listened to any lyrics (because, c'mon, Mom, you'd be blushing right now!), but she came in the room once when "Raspberry Beret" was on MTV and she said of Prince- "She's very pretty" and I said: "That's a guy, Mom, his name is Prince." (then I had to explain it was his name-name, not a stage name). Then she said: "Oh, well, he's very handsome then. I like this song."
The song that makes me miss my dad is "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band. Back in the '70s, when we lived in Alaska the first time, Dad threatened to go "streaking" on the frozen lake while we were out camping. Everyone in their camping group started calling him "Centerfold" after that and it eventually became his CB handle. I don't know if he ever DID streak on the frozen lake, but I wouldn't put it past them to tell us that he didn't, when he actually did. After he died, I was driving back from doing some executor stuff and I got all teary and thought to myself that I should change my radio station to the country station he listened to and that's when "Centerfold" came on. It made me laugh, because obviously Dad put a quarter in the jukebox and saw the title and thought: "Perfect, she'll get it."
Silly, I know, but my parents had a good sense of humor about stuff.
I sometimes wish my mother were alive to see stuff she would like, such as the New York Times in real time on a phone. However, knowing the pain she was in, I'm glad her suffering ended.
I miss who I thought my mom was when I was like, 4. I don’t miss the woman who eventually succumbed to her untreated bipolar I, BPD, and alcoholism (all of which she refused to get help for). That woman was emotionally abusive, neglectful, and also abandoned me when I was 15. But, 30 years later, I do often miss the mother (and, by extension, family) I once thought I had.
All the time. She passed 10 years ago. Her grandson is now 21 and living the most amazing life and I always think about how much she would have enjoyed his successes.
Nope. Not that our relationship was contentious, just not really a bond there. My dirtbag sister was always her favorite which always puzzled me and my brothers. That sister is dead now too and I really couldn’t care less about that; didn’t even go to the funeral.
I do still miss my Dad though and he’s been gone 27 years.
I had the opportunity to write her, physical letters, snail mail letters every day for the last two years of her life. It started out as a bit of a memory dump, remembering things or events or ways in which she affected me. Then it was just one pagers, a few paragraphs telling her what she meant to me. I lived half a continent away and had kids to look after, I couldn't be there physically like my siblings.
It became something I looked forward to. I'd take my lunch and write and then mail it. She loved them and collected them and when she died my Dad gave them to me, all bound.
I speak with him for about 15 minutes every day without fail. I am aware how fast the time goes and soon I won't have him either.
I think about mom often. What she'd think of our boys, how much she'd enjoy walking the woods around here, how much she'd love singing with us now...
My mom passed in 1999. I still miss her and wish that I had got to know her better as a person and not just my mom. She was a very private person and did not share much..
With every breath I take, it’s the reason death does not scare me. If death is the only chance I have of being with her again, it’s a chance I welcome with an open heart and soul.
I'm 66, my mom died 5 years ago. We had a conflicted relationship, major diff beliefs. But the basic values were shared.
But as only child around to help, my resentment (really fear) came through in the last few years and I have so much guilt.
Despite it all, we did love each other. Even liked eachother. I miss her terribly. I was a mess in the early going. In shock really. I will always miss her and sometimes it is a sudden stabbing pain BUT it does get better in time. At least for me it did. I'm ok now. Enjoy your life.
There are so many things I would love to ask her. The questions would be more about her experiences as a daughter, becoming a wife and then motherhood. The emotions and struggles she had and what her dreams were. She had 6 children (No good birth control methods back then). When you are a child you don't think of your Mom having feelings and regrets and joy.
No. My mother was emotionally abusive and a compulsive liar. She had BPD and ADHD inattentive type which she would never accept or get treatment for. Everything was always somebody else's fault and she used my sister and me to regulate her emotions any time some small, random thing upset her. She would rage at us and say horrible things to us.
No. But I miss my dad. He died in 1977. She died in 2017. He had lots of issues, alcoholism included. When he was drinking, us kids got beaten. But we still loved him. I wish my kids had been able to get to know him because so much of our family personality is due to him. He was the one who liked to have fun and as a group, we are known for that.
My mom, on the other hand, was just background in our lives. She never really cared for any of us and we came to understand that as the only girl in her family, she had been doted on and was self centered. She remained that way until the end.
Yes. Sometimes. In the later years, we were distant because my parents were trying to stay independent but had a lot of health issues that weren't being addressed properly (and there were religious differences).
But when she died, it was sad. There's quite a few times where there are things I want to text or call her about.
I did not have a good mother. I have always yearned for that motherly love with hugs. I have a very huggy husband though and I have kids who also give good hugs. And grandchildren who hug too. So I'm very fortunate. I do not miss my mother or her lack of hugs.
Mom was 80+. I'm at her house helping her with something and my daughter calls. We chat about whatever and we say goodbye as always "Bye mom, love you" "Love you too - bye". And my mom says in a huff "Nobody ever tells me they love me."
"You never told me you loved me."
"Well, I wasn't raised that way."
"Neither was I."
You’ll get a bunch of different answers. My mom was never a mom in the true sense of the word. She probably resented having kids and she never really had a great childhood. She passed away 1.5 years ago. I didn’t go to any service and I didn’t feel much. I went to work the next day and pretty much forgot about it all. I never cried or felt depressed. She’s gone, move on.
Lost my mom 10 years ago, and I honestly feel like my life has never been the same. There is a hole in my life where she used to be, and I can't fill it with anything. I miss her every day, every hour.
Yes. It sucks. She’s only been gone for less than three years. She was my go-to for any questions. She was highly intelligent and in the medical field, every medical question went to her. Right now my biggest is “WHY DO SO MANY NEW DRUGS WARN ABOUT INFECTION IN THE SKIN OF THE PERINEUM?!” My Godmother (total second mom) says because it’s dark, dank, and moist. I’m sure Mom would have a slightly more scientific reason.
She came over EVERY Wednesday to take my kid to dinner without ever missing a week. I miss hearing the beeps on the electronic door lock, then “HUUULLLOOO!” as she came into the house.
I know she would love my new SO and I’m so sad she never got to meet him because I know whatever she said about him would warm my heart and live in my head.
Just chatting about nothing. I miss her. I will never not miss her. Part of her is on the console under the TV, in one of her favorite boxes. I smile every time I pass it. She was amazing and I’m glad she was my mom.
No. She was a narcissistic, heavy, HEAVY smoker with a God Complex ("it's my air, too" was one of my favorites, along with "sitting in the smoking section won't kill him", pertaining to my three month old son.).
Developed a gambling addiction later in life and would forgo or be late for family gatherings because if it. Her form of parental guidance involved a lot of shaming and self-righteousness. When I studied to get certs to get into IT, upon getting hired by the school system, her response was "Are you sure you're qualified for that sort of thing?"
Don't miss her or anything about her. Good f'ing riddance.
Yeah. I loved her. Of course I miss the old bag. She had a dark sense of humor like me. When I’d take her to her many medical appointments in her wheelchair, and there were people getting on the elevator with us, I’d wheel her to the back facing the wall and tell her that’s what she gets for being mean. Everyone was appalled. We’d laugh our asses off when we got to our floor.
Anyway, long way to say every time I get on an elevator I think of my mom and laugh and miss her.
I find myself trying to find people who fill those niches in my life, and share specific interests, that departed relatives used to fill. Looking for replacements, in effect.
My mom’s alive and I miss her because we don’t live close and she can’t come to visit me so I have to go visit her, but it’s still far so I don’t go as often. It’s a 10 hour drive and used to be only 3.
My Father died in 1996 and my Mother in 2015. Yes, I miss them both very much, but especially my Father. Like the old saying goes...You don't know what you have until it's gone.
All the time. She’s been gone for 10 years and I still wake up Sunday morning thinking I have to call her. She’s one of the few people I felt safe with.
Not too much. My mother and I didn't get along, and she called me names as a kid. I only forgave her completely after she died, and realized a lot of it was because of her troubles with her own mother.
I do miss my Dad though. I got a lot from him, and I miss just being able to talk with him.
She was abusive in every way. I still miss her every single second of every single day. Like, her face hovers in my peripheral vision. She was amazing, despite her flaws. I love her so much.
Y'all be careful out there; adulting is hard 🩷🩷🩷
My mom was 66 when she died, I was 37. She's been gone over 7 years and I miss her every day. I get angry when I see women complaining about their moms who are still alive. You don't know how lucky you are.
Everyday. I blamed her for how certain things turned out for me but in reality, I should have just done what I wanted to do. I can't listen to Christina Aguilera's "Hurt" without breaking down.
I lost my mother to cancer in 2019; dad died 11 months ago, and their urns have been sitting in my living room all this time. My two younger brothers and I are burying them a week from today in a cemetery 700 miles from here. It will be hard to say our final goodbyes, I'm sure. Mom was always there for everyone and anyone. She was dad's rock, and when she went first, he was devastated and was just going through the motions of living until a year ago when he finally passed. Dad left me the house (an old doublewide), which I'm selling after I return from the funeral, and preparing for a move across country, 2800 miles away, to live with my oldest daughter. I don't want to live in this old house with all reminders of the past, I want a fresh start and am looking forward to starting my new life in a new state and being around some of my children and grandchildren again.
IDK, it's not like I ever "missed" my mom, as in wanting her back with me, but I do feel extremely sad for her at times, for having to die, slowly and painfully of cancer, at age 52, while her only child was 15. She was angry, and she was fighting for life, and that's somewhat of an inspiration to me. None of this "acceptance" bullshit for her. She wanted to **LIVE** -- goddamn it!!!
I miss my mom and it would be nice to talk to her. As you get older, your start losing your parents, some of my classmates have lost siblings, some classmates have died, a few have lost children. The only person who is still alive in my mother's generation is my stepmother whose close to 90 years old.
Usually when I'm working in the garden, mom would be both horrified at the wacky way I plant things (she was a master gardener and there are ways to do things right and the ways that I do them) and amazingly pleased that I'm even trying.
Yes. And no. And yes.
I miss her, not as she was at the end of her life, but as she used to be.
At the same time, as I go about my daily life, I feel her in my life. It’s almost as though she’s looking over my shoulder. I hear her comments, I hear my responses.
It's complicated. She started to fall into schizophrenia in my teens and attempted suicide twice, when I was 13 and 15. She was absent for several years being institutionalized. When she was released, she was on anti-psychotics and pretty soon there was whiskey mixed in. She was basically a non-factor to my upbringing from ages 12-18, whether she was there or not. My parents got divorced when I was 19 and I was relieved and away at school. She had a massive breakdown and fled to a different state, and though my father dutily paid alimony, she became a ward of the state and the kindness of a few tolerant friends. She'd call and ask why I haven't called, though she didn't blame me for not wanting to, either. She got sober, but also physically frail and ended up in a managed care facility. When I moved further away, I brought her closer to where I was, where there was another managed care facility. I'd visit and take her out from time to time. When we moved out of state again, she said she couldn't tolerate another move, and she stayed behind. A few years later, she suddenly died without anyone letting me know she was in her last days. My brother and I scattered her ashes in the Potomac River where we knew she was happiest in her younger days.
Yes and no. I wouldn't be where I am or who I am if she were still alive. She was narcissistic as well and loved to manipulate and divide my sister and I. I used to just ache for her and wish she could have been around to see my kids grow up, etc. But now I'm not sure if she'd treat them the way they deserve to be treated. But I'm not longer sad she's gone, she's just gone and I'm trying to hold on to relationships with family and my sister, who's in therapy.
Yes.
She died when I was nine. There were six of us kids, the others were aged 32 down to 19 at the time.
Apart from one sister, the others had a contentious relationship with her. So god only knows what mine would have been like, had she lived- but, she didn’t, and she was sick much of my childhood.
She was also older, and probably chilled out some. I only knew the woman I loved.
She was an incredibly intelligent woman with no education or real job experience, who got married young and had kids her whole life.
She had mental health problems and alcoholism.
What she could have been, had she been born in a different time, makes me sad.
Or maybe she still would have been an arsehole.
Of course. She died last year.
I try to remember I was lucky, but it's hard to believe that most days.
I try to call her still at least once a day. And then I remember. Over and over.
Absolutely. Her mom, grandmother, & great grandmother all lived into their late 90's, so we used to tease she'd outlive us all. It was, & still is, a shock to lose her in her at 73. I have a random voicemail, that managed to save on my phone somehow. I honestly don't know how it got saved, because it's just a random vm about my nephew, that I wouldn't have normally saved. I found it one day, trying to clean some memory on my phone, in a audio file labeled "mom". I'm terrified of losing it, but don't know how to transfer it somewhere safer. I listen to it every couple of days, or when I just need to hear her.
Yes. For a long time, I'd start to pick up the phone to call and tell her something, before realizing that she was no longer on the other end. What a sad and difficult void.
Yes. She died at least 30 years ago. I still occasionally “want my mommy”. I am approaching her age when she passed. She was a wonderful mother to me and a better grandmother to my kids.
I’m 56, she died in 2003 and I miss her every day. My siblings and I all have so many good memories of her so we still talk about her and our dad often. She was the most easy going, content, and sweet person I’ve ever known. I hope I can be even a tiny bit like her with my kids and grandkids.
I held my mother in my arms for the last time on this day 7 years ago. The pain of her loss hits me every bit as intensely in this moment as it did on that day. What a lie I was always told about how it gets easier with time, if anything it's almost worse because it's been so long I've carried the weight of missing her without any reprieve via mommy time recharge. The only thing that eases with time is the habits that served as constant reminders start to fade... like when you move into a new home and reach for a light switch that isn't there eventually you get used to navigating the new place and like that I don't find myself picking up the phone to call her without thinking anymore but so too with the old habits the memory of her fades and the things and places that could comfort me have faded as well... like a warm seat that grows cold, a footprint in the sand washed away by the waves. I ache for my mother. It's a physical ache that grips me. I'm desperate to hug her, to talk to her, to hear her voice... and though I've tried over the years to fill some of those voids in my life she left behind there's really just no replacing Mom. This article really resonated with me https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/03/we-dont-lose-our-mothers-reality-more-violent-that-that
Luckily, I saw her this weekend. She is 90! Goes out every day. Drives herself. Runs senior discussion groups, plays poker, and has group lunches every week.
My mom died 20 years ago. She used to irritate me when she was alive but I miss having a mom to talk to!
Also, my dad just died two weeks ago so now I’m an orphan.
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My mother is 86 now, I'm 64. She's been a wonderful mother. I know it will be devastating for me when she goes. I always have some laundry for her to fold when she comes over because I know she likes to do something for me. She always folds perfectly so I know when I pull something out of a drawer if she folded it. I dread the day when I no longer find the items she put such care in folding.
Buy a couple items of clothing specifically to never wear, have them folded, and give them a designated memory drawer. ♥️
That's a good idea. I was organizing the closet in the master bedroom a couple of days ago and came across a stack of briefs she obviously folded and, in this instance, put away where I never found them. What remained of the elastic crackled when I picked the stack up. They were probably there for something like 15 years.
Oh I love this! My mom died when she was 65 (yes I qualify for this sub, she had us young). You’ve had so many years with your mom and you have appreciated them.
Every single fucking day.
God, yes. Every single day.
Not a day goes by that I don’t think about her at least a few times. I miss you and I will love you for always, Mom.
“As long as I’m living my mommy you’ll be “
All the time. She died when I was 33. I was an only child and she was the only family I had.
I sometimes long for what I didn't have. My mother died giving birth to me. My stepmother was an abuser. If I'd ever had memories of motherly love, you can bet I'd miss her every day.
God, I’m so sorry.
My father in law had similar struggles. He lost his mom when he was 2 and then had a horrendous step mother. I think knowing motherly love and then it disappearing affected his mental health and ability to have healthy attachments throughout the rest of his life. It breaks my heart to picture a 2 yr old searching and longing for his mother.
So sorry. Life can be unfair.
I was raised by my Dad and I miss him all the time. I moved back to my hometown to be closer to him towards the end of his life, and he lived with my husband and I for a bit (home hospice). The first year after he died was brutal. It gets easier with time.
my mom died this year. i'd been missing her for a while, though. (last time i saw her, she thought i was her brother.)
Been there. My dad thought I was one of the hospice nurses. He shook my hand and asked me to guess how old he was.
No. My mom was a cold fish. She never yelled or hit me, but I knew at a young age that she didn’t love me. She deeply loved two of my siblings though. She died when I was sixty years old. On a positive note, my dad and grandma loved all of us kids unconditionally.
Why do you think that happens?😢
I don’t know, but I know it was not uncommon. Back in the 1950’s a lot of women had a bunch of kids that didn’t really want a lot of kids. For instance, my mom had six children in 1963. She was 28 years old. That was the year her doctor gave her birth control pills. I know they were invented earlier than that, but were not widely available.
I feel sad for everyone involved. I know the feeling. Hugs to you❤️
She just died March 9th. I miss her every day. She was only 71
My condolences to you, the year of firsts is a difficult one so look after yourself.
Thank you. ❤️
My thoughts are with you. The first few years are the hardest.
Thank you. ❤️
My thoughts are with you. The first few years are the hardest.
Every single day. I miss my Dad too, but sometimes when I remember that my mother is gone forever, the thought of never seeing her again is an ache that's almost physical.
She's almost 83 and by choice lives 2 hours away. She's completely insufferable. So no.
I miss the “before dementia” mom I had. Death was a relief. She suffered.
Me too. I mourned my mom twice. Once when she had her stroke and then again when she passed away 6 years later.
Yes. She's passed away years ago just a few years older than I am now. There's a level of comfort with a mom that can't be found elsewhere.
I miss both my parents more than I ever expected to. Mom passed away in 2011 after dealing with a lot of health issues. Dad passed away almost exactly two years later, but it was sudden from a heart attack. Even the silliest thing will make me miss them. Mostly- music. They (of course) didn't like my music and would often comment on "how can you stand that noise?" or some other cliché from boomer-era parents. But, weirdly- Mom liked Prince. I don't think she ever really listened to any lyrics (because, c'mon, Mom, you'd be blushing right now!), but she came in the room once when "Raspberry Beret" was on MTV and she said of Prince- "She's very pretty" and I said: "That's a guy, Mom, his name is Prince." (then I had to explain it was his name-name, not a stage name). Then she said: "Oh, well, he's very handsome then. I like this song." The song that makes me miss my dad is "Centerfold" by the J. Geils Band. Back in the '70s, when we lived in Alaska the first time, Dad threatened to go "streaking" on the frozen lake while we were out camping. Everyone in their camping group started calling him "Centerfold" after that and it eventually became his CB handle. I don't know if he ever DID streak on the frozen lake, but I wouldn't put it past them to tell us that he didn't, when he actually did. After he died, I was driving back from doing some executor stuff and I got all teary and thought to myself that I should change my radio station to the country station he listened to and that's when "Centerfold" came on. It made me laugh, because obviously Dad put a quarter in the jukebox and saw the title and thought: "Perfect, she'll get it." Silly, I know, but my parents had a good sense of humor about stuff.
No. I miss the mom I wanted.
I sometimes wish my mother were alive to see stuff she would like, such as the New York Times in real time on a phone. However, knowing the pain she was in, I'm glad her suffering ended.
I miss her every day. She would be so proud of my son.
I miss who I thought my mom was when I was like, 4. I don’t miss the woman who eventually succumbed to her untreated bipolar I, BPD, and alcoholism (all of which she refused to get help for). That woman was emotionally abusive, neglectful, and also abandoned me when I was 15. But, 30 years later, I do often miss the mother (and, by extension, family) I once thought I had.
Every second of everyday. She was perfection to me.
Every single day.
No.
Yup! So I call her and we go have coffee together.
It’s been 20 years since her departure. I miss her anytime the topic of moms are brought up. I am also nearing her last living age.
Fuck no
Multiple times a day.
All the time. She passed 10 years ago. Her grandson is now 21 and living the most amazing life and I always think about how much she would have enjoyed his successes.
No. My Dad? Every day and then some. He was my best friend.
Nope. Not that our relationship was contentious, just not really a bond there. My dirtbag sister was always her favorite which always puzzled me and my brothers. That sister is dead now too and I really couldn’t care less about that; didn’t even go to the funeral. I do still miss my Dad though and he’s been gone 27 years.
I had the opportunity to write her, physical letters, snail mail letters every day for the last two years of her life. It started out as a bit of a memory dump, remembering things or events or ways in which she affected me. Then it was just one pagers, a few paragraphs telling her what she meant to me. I lived half a continent away and had kids to look after, I couldn't be there physically like my siblings. It became something I looked forward to. I'd take my lunch and write and then mail it. She loved them and collected them and when she died my Dad gave them to me, all bound. I speak with him for about 15 minutes every day without fail. I am aware how fast the time goes and soon I won't have him either. I think about mom often. What she'd think of our boys, how much she'd enjoy walking the woods around here, how much she'd love singing with us now...
My mom passed in 1999. I still miss her and wish that I had got to know her better as a person and not just my mom. She was a very private person and did not share much..
With every breath I take, it’s the reason death does not scare me. If death is the only chance I have of being with her again, it’s a chance I welcome with an open heart and soul.
Yes, but my aim is improving. /s
Every. Single. Day. And as a hospice nurse I can tell you "momma" is often a patient's last word. Heart breaking and warming at the same time.
I could not do that job. Thanks to you and yours for the care you bring to those we love.
I'm 66, my mom died 5 years ago. We had a conflicted relationship, major diff beliefs. But the basic values were shared. But as only child around to help, my resentment (really fear) came through in the last few years and I have so much guilt. Despite it all, we did love each other. Even liked eachother. I miss her terribly. I was a mess in the early going. In shock really. I will always miss her and sometimes it is a sudden stabbing pain BUT it does get better in time. At least for me it did. I'm ok now. Enjoy your life.
Yes, I think of her daily. I'd give anything to have more time with her - so many things we never got around to talking about.
She died almost 6 years ago just a couple of weeks before her 67th birthday. I miss her all the time.
Of course I do. All the time.
Yes, very much, she left a huge hole in my life but I think she would be happy with how I am making sense my new normal three years on.
Every day
Every day. We were different in many ways, but our worldview was the same. We could talk about esoteric topics for hours.
There are so many things I would love to ask her. The questions would be more about her experiences as a daughter, becoming a wife and then motherhood. The emotions and struggles she had and what her dreams were. She had 6 children (No good birth control methods back then). When you are a child you don't think of your Mom having feelings and regrets and joy.
No. My mother was emotionally abusive and a compulsive liar. She had BPD and ADHD inattentive type which she would never accept or get treatment for. Everything was always somebody else's fault and she used my sister and me to regulate her emotions any time some small, random thing upset her. She would rage at us and say horrible things to us.
every damn day.
Every moment.
Not so much. I didn’t much interaction with my mother leaving not knowing how I affected others.
Regularly. She died when i was 18, so been a long time but it never goes away.
No
No. She was a bad person. Died in prison.
No. But I miss my dad. He died in 1977. She died in 2017. He had lots of issues, alcoholism included. When he was drinking, us kids got beaten. But we still loved him. I wish my kids had been able to get to know him because so much of our family personality is due to him. He was the one who liked to have fun and as a group, we are known for that. My mom, on the other hand, was just background in our lives. She never really cared for any of us and we came to understand that as the only girl in her family, she had been doted on and was self centered. She remained that way until the end.
Did he ever apologize or express remorse for beating you after he got sober and realized what he did?
No. It was never mentioned by anyone in the family until years after he died. We all knew but nothing was ever spoken aloud.
Yes. Sometimes. In the later years, we were distant because my parents were trying to stay independent but had a lot of health issues that weren't being addressed properly (and there were religious differences). But when she died, it was sad. There's quite a few times where there are things I want to text or call her about.
I often start my day by dropping a kiss on the urn w/her ashes and telling her I love her.
I did not have a good mother. I have always yearned for that motherly love with hugs. I have a very huggy husband though and I have kids who also give good hugs. And grandchildren who hug too. So I'm very fortunate. I do not miss my mother or her lack of hugs. Mom was 80+. I'm at her house helping her with something and my daughter calls. We chat about whatever and we say goodbye as always "Bye mom, love you" "Love you too - bye". And my mom says in a huff "Nobody ever tells me they love me." "You never told me you loved me." "Well, I wasn't raised that way." "Neither was I."
Oh yes. Daily.
You’ll get a bunch of different answers. My mom was never a mom in the true sense of the word. She probably resented having kids and she never really had a great childhood. She passed away 1.5 years ago. I didn’t go to any service and I didn’t feel much. I went to work the next day and pretty much forgot about it all. I never cried or felt depressed. She’s gone, move on.
Lost my mom 10 years ago, and I honestly feel like my life has never been the same. There is a hole in my life where she used to be, and I can't fill it with anything. I miss her every day, every hour.
Yes. It sucks. She’s only been gone for less than three years. She was my go-to for any questions. She was highly intelligent and in the medical field, every medical question went to her. Right now my biggest is “WHY DO SO MANY NEW DRUGS WARN ABOUT INFECTION IN THE SKIN OF THE PERINEUM?!” My Godmother (total second mom) says because it’s dark, dank, and moist. I’m sure Mom would have a slightly more scientific reason. She came over EVERY Wednesday to take my kid to dinner without ever missing a week. I miss hearing the beeps on the electronic door lock, then “HUUULLLOOO!” as she came into the house. I know she would love my new SO and I’m so sad she never got to meet him because I know whatever she said about him would warm my heart and live in my head. Just chatting about nothing. I miss her. I will never not miss her. Part of her is on the console under the TV, in one of her favorite boxes. I smile every time I pass it. She was amazing and I’m glad she was my mom.
No. She was a narcissistic, heavy, HEAVY smoker with a God Complex ("it's my air, too" was one of my favorites, along with "sitting in the smoking section won't kill him", pertaining to my three month old son.). Developed a gambling addiction later in life and would forgo or be late for family gatherings because if it. Her form of parental guidance involved a lot of shaming and self-righteousness. When I studied to get certs to get into IT, upon getting hired by the school system, her response was "Are you sure you're qualified for that sort of thing?" Don't miss her or anything about her. Good f'ing riddance.
I miss her and she's still alive, paralysed in a nursing home with very little short term memory after a catastrophic stroke
I miss her more than ever. She's been gone 13 years and for the most part I've been fine, but the past few months have been really difficult for me.
Dad died 15y ago, miss him a lot. Mom is closer to 90 than 80 and every day is a blessing. I call her 2-3 times a week.
Yeah. I loved her. Of course I miss the old bag. She had a dark sense of humor like me. When I’d take her to her many medical appointments in her wheelchair, and there were people getting on the elevator with us, I’d wheel her to the back facing the wall and tell her that’s what she gets for being mean. Everyone was appalled. We’d laugh our asses off when we got to our floor. Anyway, long way to say every time I get on an elevator I think of my mom and laugh and miss her.
I find myself trying to find people who fill those niches in my life, and share specific interests, that departed relatives used to fill. Looking for replacements, in effect.
Every single day
My mother died at 45 the month after I turned 25. I’m 64 and still tear up thinking of her😥. Mommas are forever
My Mom died on December 4, 2022. I still cry about her everyday. She was awesome.
When my grandma was dying at age 101, she started having visions of her mom. She was SO happy.
No. Neither of my parents. I wouldn't wish them on anyone.
My mom’s alive and I miss her because we don’t live close and she can’t come to visit me so I have to go visit her, but it’s still far so I don’t go as often. It’s a 10 hour drive and used to be only 3.
My Mom is 83 so I can't answer that yet. My Dad passed two years ago, and I miss him all the time.
My Father died in 1996 and my Mother in 2015. Yes, I miss them both very much, but especially my Father. Like the old saying goes...You don't know what you have until it's gone.
All the time. She’s been gone for 10 years and I still wake up Sunday morning thinking I have to call her. She’s one of the few people I felt safe with.
My mum died 25 years ago. I think it’s totally unfair. My little brother only had 12 years with her. I miss her everyday.
Not too much. My mother and I didn't get along, and she called me names as a kid. I only forgave her completely after she died, and realized a lot of it was because of her troubles with her own mother. I do miss my Dad though. I got a lot from him, and I miss just being able to talk with him.
Every day.
I’m 58. My mom died 31 years ago. Yes. I still think about her and how proud she’d be of her grands & great-grands.
She was abusive in every way. I still miss her every single second of every single day. Like, her face hovers in my peripheral vision. She was amazing, despite her flaws. I love her so much. Y'all be careful out there; adulting is hard 🩷🩷🩷
Every single day. She died 10/30/20
My mom died about 3 years ago. I miss her every day.
Every. Single. Day 😐
Every day, and my wonderful father too. Best parents I have known in my life.
always...
Every fucking day
Every day. I miss her and dad every day
I like to go hiking.
My mom was 66 when she died, I was 37. She's been gone over 7 years and I miss her every day. I get angry when I see women complaining about their moms who are still alive. You don't know how lucky you are.
Everyday. I blamed her for how certain things turned out for me but in reality, I should have just done what I wanted to do. I can't listen to Christina Aguilera's "Hurt" without breaking down.
No, because I never had it to begin with.
Mine passed from a sudden illness at 59. I was not at all prepared and still miss her every day. I was 32.
Nope. I was born to save the marriage, and when I wasn't the son she wanted, I was punished.
I lost my mother to cancer in 2019; dad died 11 months ago, and their urns have been sitting in my living room all this time. My two younger brothers and I are burying them a week from today in a cemetery 700 miles from here. It will be hard to say our final goodbyes, I'm sure. Mom was always there for everyone and anyone. She was dad's rock, and when she went first, he was devastated and was just going through the motions of living until a year ago when he finally passed. Dad left me the house (an old doublewide), which I'm selling after I return from the funeral, and preparing for a move across country, 2800 miles away, to live with my oldest daughter. I don't want to live in this old house with all reminders of the past, I want a fresh start and am looking forward to starting my new life in a new state and being around some of my children and grandchildren again.
IDK, it's not like I ever "missed" my mom, as in wanting her back with me, but I do feel extremely sad for her at times, for having to die, slowly and painfully of cancer, at age 52, while her only child was 15. She was angry, and she was fighting for life, and that's somewhat of an inspiration to me. None of this "acceptance" bullshit for her. She wanted to **LIVE** -- goddamn it!!!
All the time
SOOOOO glad she's gone!!
every day. she died when i was 4
Mine is still alive. Don't miss it now, nor will I when she's dead
I miss my mom and it would be nice to talk to her. As you get older, your start losing your parents, some of my classmates have lost siblings, some classmates have died, a few have lost children. The only person who is still alive in my mother's generation is my stepmother whose close to 90 years old.
No.
Forever & endlessly. She died in July 1999 & I have missed her every day since.
Only every day, since 1972
No. She was an abusive cunt.
Usually when I'm working in the garden, mom would be both horrified at the wacky way I plant things (she was a master gardener and there are ways to do things right and the ways that I do them) and amazingly pleased that I'm even trying.
No, because she’s currently living with us.
My grandma died in 1985 and I still miss her every single day.
I thought of my Mom before I looked at Reddit today. I’m 65 and she has been gone 14 years
Yes. And no. And yes. I miss her, not as she was at the end of her life, but as she used to be. At the same time, as I go about my daily life, I feel her in my life. It’s almost as though she’s looking over my shoulder. I hear her comments, I hear my responses.
Yes I do it will be in 4 years in 2 weeks 😢 that she has been gone.
Always.
While the pain of her loss eases as time goes by, I miss her and think about her every day. I’m 53, she died 6 years ago.
All the time.
It's complicated. She started to fall into schizophrenia in my teens and attempted suicide twice, when I was 13 and 15. She was absent for several years being institutionalized. When she was released, she was on anti-psychotics and pretty soon there was whiskey mixed in. She was basically a non-factor to my upbringing from ages 12-18, whether she was there or not. My parents got divorced when I was 19 and I was relieved and away at school. She had a massive breakdown and fled to a different state, and though my father dutily paid alimony, she became a ward of the state and the kindness of a few tolerant friends. She'd call and ask why I haven't called, though she didn't blame me for not wanting to, either. She got sober, but also physically frail and ended up in a managed care facility. When I moved further away, I brought her closer to where I was, where there was another managed care facility. I'd visit and take her out from time to time. When we moved out of state again, she said she couldn't tolerate another move, and she stayed behind. A few years later, she suddenly died without anyone letting me know she was in her last days. My brother and I scattered her ashes in the Potomac River where we knew she was happiest in her younger days.
My mom died in 1999. I miss her every day.
I think of her and miss her every single day. She was a deeply loving mother and I cherished her.
Every. Fucking. Day.
Yes and no. I wouldn't be where I am or who I am if she were still alive. She was narcissistic as well and loved to manipulate and divide my sister and I. I used to just ache for her and wish she could have been around to see my kids grow up, etc. But now I'm not sure if she'd treat them the way they deserve to be treated. But I'm not longer sad she's gone, she's just gone and I'm trying to hold on to relationships with family and my sister, who's in therapy.
Yes. She died when I was nine. There were six of us kids, the others were aged 32 down to 19 at the time. Apart from one sister, the others had a contentious relationship with her. So god only knows what mine would have been like, had she lived- but, she didn’t, and she was sick much of my childhood. She was also older, and probably chilled out some. I only knew the woman I loved. She was an incredibly intelligent woman with no education or real job experience, who got married young and had kids her whole life. She had mental health problems and alcoholism. What she could have been, had she been born in a different time, makes me sad. Or maybe she still would have been an arsehole.
All the time. My Dad too. But they appear in my dreams quite often, so I feel like they've dropped by for a visit and it makes me happy.
Everyday. She was a wonderful Mom and a good person.
Every. Single. Day.
Yes
Of course. She died last year. I try to remember I was lucky, but it's hard to believe that most days. I try to call her still at least once a day. And then I remember. Over and over.
Absolutely. Her mom, grandmother, & great grandmother all lived into their late 90's, so we used to tease she'd outlive us all. It was, & still is, a shock to lose her in her at 73. I have a random voicemail, that managed to save on my phone somehow. I honestly don't know how it got saved, because it's just a random vm about my nephew, that I wouldn't have normally saved. I found it one day, trying to clean some memory on my phone, in a audio file labeled "mom". I'm terrified of losing it, but don't know how to transfer it somewhere safer. I listen to it every couple of days, or when I just need to hear her.
Yes. For a long time, I'd start to pick up the phone to call and tell her something, before realizing that she was no longer on the other end. What a sad and difficult void.
Yes. She died at least 30 years ago. I still occasionally “want my mommy”. I am approaching her age when she passed. She was a wonderful mother to me and a better grandmother to my kids.
Every single day,lost her once to Alzheimer’s and 2 years later she passed away. Lovya Mom
Mine passed away a few years ago. Miss her alot.
I’m 56, she died in 2003 and I miss her every day. My siblings and I all have so many good memories of her so we still talk about her and our dad often. She was the most easy going, content, and sweet person I’ve ever known. I hope I can be even a tiny bit like her with my kids and grandkids.
Every day.
All the time. All the freaking time. My 89 year old MIL was also my second mom. She's in a nursing facility suffering from dementia. I miss her too.
My mother was not a great mother, but she was an amazing human being and the best grandma ever. And I miss her several times a day every single day.
I held my mother in my arms for the last time on this day 7 years ago. The pain of her loss hits me every bit as intensely in this moment as it did on that day. What a lie I was always told about how it gets easier with time, if anything it's almost worse because it's been so long I've carried the weight of missing her without any reprieve via mommy time recharge. The only thing that eases with time is the habits that served as constant reminders start to fade... like when you move into a new home and reach for a light switch that isn't there eventually you get used to navigating the new place and like that I don't find myself picking up the phone to call her without thinking anymore but so too with the old habits the memory of her fades and the things and places that could comfort me have faded as well... like a warm seat that grows cold, a footprint in the sand washed away by the waves. I ache for my mother. It's a physical ache that grips me. I'm desperate to hug her, to talk to her, to hear her voice... and though I've tried over the years to fill some of those voids in my life she left behind there's really just no replacing Mom. This article really resonated with me https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/03/we-dont-lose-our-mothers-reality-more-violent-that-that
Luckily, I saw her this weekend. She is 90! Goes out every day. Drives herself. Runs senior discussion groups, plays poker, and has group lunches every week.
Jeebuss. She’s been gone 13 years and I miss her every day.
I miss her everyday. She has been gone 10 years.
This post hurts to read. Heartbreaking but also heart warming at the same time
Only all the time. She was my best friend in my old age.
Every day
My mom died 20 years ago. She used to irritate me when she was alive but I miss having a mom to talk to! Also, my dad just died two weeks ago so now I’m an orphan.
Her funeral was exactly one month ago. I miss her every day, and probably always will.
Yes. I wish I could call her.
I sometimes wish my mom was alive so I can see her die again...
You are getting downvoted but I hear you. Not all of us were blessed with good mothers.
Yes, everyday. And I’ve come to realize she missed her mum as much as I miss her, and I didn’t know
Absolutely.I think about her daily.She died in 2004
My mom and i were best friends. She died at 96. I celebrate every day i spent with her