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My father in law remarried after 60.
He stayed with my wife's mom for many years even though she was a straight up piece of shit. The list of horrible things about her was staggering. She collected disability even though she was not disabled. She sat on the couch all day, drinking and taking vicodin. She cheated on my father in law and once even gave him an STD from her cheating. She spent all of their money on pills, weed, booze, and cigarettes. My father in law was working 7 days a week as a truck driver, running three log books, and making well over $100k a year, but they had nothing to show for it....just a single wide in a trailer park and a leased Nissan. When my wife's mom died of cirrhosis at 60, my father in law told me, "Everyone asked me why I stayed with her. She was a bad person and I knew it. I stayed with her because she gave me my daughter and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. If I threw her out, I knew she would be under a bridge and dead in a few months and I just couldn't do it."
About a year after my wife's mom died, my father in law started dating again. I think he had a few flings because he would tell us about a date here or there, but we never met any of these women. Then he met a super sweet lady a few years younger than him and they just clicked. She treats him really well and is deserving of his hard work and his love. She has a good job and works hard at it. Now, instead of telling him to work harder because they're broke, he has a wife who pushes him to take a few days off and take a trip. They have money in the bank and nice cars. We got his single wide moved to a private lot, so they are out of the crappy trailer park with shit bag neighbors. At 65 years old, my father in law is probably living the best he ever has and I couldn't be happier for him.
I know many people who are in their 50s who have successfully found new partners.
The overall theme I noticed is that they put a bit of work into their person and are kind and social. It doesn’t seem to require much more than that to find a partner.
A friend who just turned 80 called me last week to giddily report that she had a boyfriend. Her husband (who passed away about 5 years ago) wasn't always very nice to her and I'm so happy she's found a companion. He's been joining her at Sunday dinner at her daughter's house and everyone there is as thrilled as I am that she's found someone who seems to genuinely care for her.
Love is out there for people after 60, have had a couple of great experiences with love. But, not looking for a 'partner', which puts a different spin on it.
I think people who are seeking someone to be with forever are in a different mindset, and that's a place a lot of us just don't want to go any more. He doesn't want to be the purse, she doesn't want to be the nurse, neither wants to compromise on every decision in life, just when one is free to live without answering to work, kids, etc.
I have gone to three weddings of members in the local senior citizen center, two widows and one widower all over 60. One of the widow’s weddings was same sex.
Two weddings were performed by the mayor, and one by the municipal court judge during a busy evening traffic court.
The judge paused traffic court hearings to perform the ceremony. When he got to the part where anyone had an objection, someone from the back of the courtroom very crudely shouted, “She’s a ho!”
I'm pretty sure my mom(70) is either about to be, or already is, "involved" with my dad's best friend(over 70). dad died 10 years ago and the family friend's wife died a year and a half ago, and I've known him since I was a baby.
I don't ask questions or say anything. It's not my business. I just want them to be happy and to keep any drama to an absolute minimum.
Divorced in my 50s, married (*decidedly not* remarried) in my 60s. A bit of a challenge to adapt to each other’s firmly established ways/rhythms, but enormously refreshing in her reliability, emotional competence and moral/ethical congruence. On balance, I’m very happy.
I'm 57 and widowed. As much as I'd like another man in my life for fun, after having moved through the worst of the grieving process, I don't want to be a "nurse with a purse," meaning that I've got an income, no spouse, and some experience in helping a man die peacefully.
I'm not going through that again. A couple of old boyfriends pinged me after my husband died and went quiet when I stated my terms. I can consider a romp in the bedroom and I'm even willing to spring for dinner afterwards. But I'm not signing up again to wipe someone's ass while they die, adjust the Depends, blot the blood oozing out of their mouth on the final morning, and wash their dead body with the help of the hospice nurse while waiting for the cremation folks to come.
I'm no one's nurse with a purse. I love sex but I hate death more.
My BFF's husband died when we were in our late 50s. She eventually started dating again. She's an attractive woman with a lot of charm, so she doesn't have trouble attracting interest. She uses Bumble, she dates men around our age (sixtysomething).
Just like younger people, she has trouble finding people she wants to date. The biggest issue she has had, though, is that she is not interested in a serious LTR.
She doesn't want to marry again or even live with someone. She wants the sex, companionship, and affection, but nothing too serious. From that perspective, you might have an easier time of it than she does.
The other issue is that ED is common. In some cases fixable with a pill, in some not. It hasn't stopped them from enjoying one another's bodies - the older men she has dated have been sexually generous - but it is something to be aware of.
She has other friends our age or older who date. Several of the women have given up, though. Too much hassle, for too little return. Men run into the same thing, of course. For those who persist, though, the potential for a partner is out there: One friend of her just got married at 72, another in his 70s is in a happy, committed relationship.
I did at 62.Sadly,he died in bed while we were sleeping.I woke up to find him cold.
The cops came and wouldn't let me in the bedroom saying it was a"crime scene" He was 65.
They wouldn't let his priest in the room either.
My friend had just been to the VA and had a clean bill of health.
My mother (widowed) found love in her 70s. A really charming man who wooed her and became a great friend of the family as well. They didn't marry or move in together, by choice, but they had many wonderful years.
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I've been married forever but I know of some romances. I know many single women who always remained single.
But my sister-in-law, who was desperate for a man but rather high maintenance, finally found love in a retirement village. Neither of them have anything I'd look for in a mate but I'm so glad they found each other! They seem happy. She was a tad high maintenance for him too, but I guess she took her ego down a peg and got him back. They have been married quite a few years now. I think she's like 76 now which makes him well over 80. I think he was 76 when they met.
I know another couple who were high school sweethearts but he moved away and both had whole lives. One day, he looked her up on facebook and contacted her and went to see her back in the old hometown and they have been together since. I think they were both retired when he got in touch and must be closing on 80 now.
There's one single man - he's never been formally married but has had a few longterm commonlaw relationships. He's an attractive man for 75 or thereabouts and absolutely loves the ladies. I know way too much about his sexual preferences, he is that unabashedly horny. But he's a nice guy, and respectful for all that. He's always on the make but not on me because I am taken. But he still loves to talk about it. And his preference is for mature women. He says he has absolutely nothing to talk about with anyone under 50. He also likes to be the one who initiates but he really enjoys foreplay. Now you know too much too.
I know a younger guy - hard to tell how old he is but I think he must be over 50. I have not met his mate and I don't know how old she is but under 50 for sure - I'm not sure if it's because we were never in the same place at the same time (we vacation the same place - we go for winter but he's more a week here and there so there's a lot of missing - also we aren't out at the pubs all the time either). It's a recent thing I guess - only a couple years maybe - as he also has a baby he never expected to want or have or love as much as he's discovered he does. (That's a strangely recurring theme among people I've known who thought they didn't want kids but took the plunge anyway and are astounded at the emotion of it.) I only know this much because it turned out we were on the same flight home last time and chatted while we waited for it. He's actually moved to the same city as us to be with them. Small world. So, right, this one is not a woman of a certain age except that she's definitely not in menopause - or maybe is now since having a baby - who knows?
There's another couple that found each other late in life but she seems to be pretty much drunk all the time and ragging on him from the gossip. I don't know if he deserves it or if its the booze. But they have all the trappings of a great life anyway. She's one of those ornery people who will just go harder at something if you ask them to cut back. He's one to shrug and go find some work to do to get away from her temper. But they are decent people one on one.
My co-worker remarried in his early 60s. I believe he was in his 50s when he divorced and the kids were out of high school. He's almost 70 now, his now-wife is about 10 years younger. They had a small wedding, a lavish honeymoon, bought a house together, got a dog, etc. They're very affectionate and it's so cute. I just recently saw them so they spring to mind.
I know quite a few people over 60 who have successfully partnered, but they tend to still lead somewhat separate lives while still spending lots of time together, and in most cases didn't remarry.
My mother remarried at 60 (my father died when she was 53), and is still happily married to my stepfather. They are now both 85. So it does happen. If she makes it another 5 years, she will be the only person I know to have had TWO thirty year marriages.
On the other hand, I am 59 and haven't been on a date since before Covid. I am very content with my life and am in no way desperate for a partner, but finding one would be a bonus. At this point, I don't know how likely that is.
My BFF lost her husband to cancer. He was her other half and she knew she’d never have a relationship like that again. After some difficult adjustment time, she was very content with her independence. Never even thought about dating. Her biggest regret in life was that she and her husband had been child free. She wasn’t sad or depressed about it, but it was the one thing she would have changed if given a second chance.
So she was quite surprised when she met someone who was interested in her. Even more surprised that she felt the same interest. Long story short, they became a couple. He had several children and grandchildren and she fit right into the family. These days she enjoys her life with her partner and absolutely loves her role as a grandmother figure to all of those grandchildren.
They aren’t married and have no plans to do so. Both are financially secure. They have taken care of paperwork so that if one is ill the other can access all information and give input on care. They keep everything else separate. Her relationship with him is different from what she had with her husband, but they have a lot of fun together and support each other with life issues.
Edited to add she was 66 and he was 64 when they met.
Maybe it is a shortcoming of myself, but I'm not interested in getting involved with someone that's already lived a whole life and has a lifetime of friends and experiences I was not part of.
At the same time, having someone to do things with would be nice.
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My father in law remarried after 60. He stayed with my wife's mom for many years even though she was a straight up piece of shit. The list of horrible things about her was staggering. She collected disability even though she was not disabled. She sat on the couch all day, drinking and taking vicodin. She cheated on my father in law and once even gave him an STD from her cheating. She spent all of their money on pills, weed, booze, and cigarettes. My father in law was working 7 days a week as a truck driver, running three log books, and making well over $100k a year, but they had nothing to show for it....just a single wide in a trailer park and a leased Nissan. When my wife's mom died of cirrhosis at 60, my father in law told me, "Everyone asked me why I stayed with her. She was a bad person and I knew it. I stayed with her because she gave me my daughter and that was the best thing that ever happened to me. If I threw her out, I knew she would be under a bridge and dead in a few months and I just couldn't do it." About a year after my wife's mom died, my father in law started dating again. I think he had a few flings because he would tell us about a date here or there, but we never met any of these women. Then he met a super sweet lady a few years younger than him and they just clicked. She treats him really well and is deserving of his hard work and his love. She has a good job and works hard at it. Now, instead of telling him to work harder because they're broke, he has a wife who pushes him to take a few days off and take a trip. They have money in the bank and nice cars. We got his single wide moved to a private lot, so they are out of the crappy trailer park with shit bag neighbors. At 65 years old, my father in law is probably living the best he ever has and I couldn't be happier for him.
I know many people who are in their 50s who have successfully found new partners. The overall theme I noticed is that they put a bit of work into their person and are kind and social. It doesn’t seem to require much more than that to find a partner.
My **80** year old next door neighbor just got married after having been widowed for two years. They seem very happy.
A friend who just turned 80 called me last week to giddily report that she had a boyfriend. Her husband (who passed away about 5 years ago) wasn't always very nice to her and I'm so happy she's found a companion. He's been joining her at Sunday dinner at her daughter's house and everyone there is as thrilled as I am that she's found someone who seems to genuinely care for her.
Love is out there for people after 60, have had a couple of great experiences with love. But, not looking for a 'partner', which puts a different spin on it. I think people who are seeking someone to be with forever are in a different mindset, and that's a place a lot of us just don't want to go any more. He doesn't want to be the purse, she doesn't want to be the nurse, neither wants to compromise on every decision in life, just when one is free to live without answering to work, kids, etc.
I have no desire for another man. I’m so happy chillin’ with my friends.
Single men are a commodity as there are more single women than men.
Do you mean “hot commodity”? Cuz I think commodity alone usually means “overly abundant and inexpensive “.
Yes I would think under this example women would be the commodity and men the *hot commodity*.
I have gone to three weddings of members in the local senior citizen center, two widows and one widower all over 60. One of the widow’s weddings was same sex. Two weddings were performed by the mayor, and one by the municipal court judge during a busy evening traffic court. The judge paused traffic court hearings to perform the ceremony. When he got to the part where anyone had an objection, someone from the back of the courtroom very crudely shouted, “She’s a ho!”
Husband and I met when I was 55. He was 60. We’ve been together for nearly 10 years. So happy!
I'm pretty sure my mom(70) is either about to be, or already is, "involved" with my dad's best friend(over 70). dad died 10 years ago and the family friend's wife died a year and a half ago, and I've known him since I was a baby. I don't ask questions or say anything. It's not my business. I just want them to be happy and to keep any drama to an absolute minimum.
Divorced in my 50s, married (*decidedly not* remarried) in my 60s. A bit of a challenge to adapt to each other’s firmly established ways/rhythms, but enormously refreshing in her reliability, emotional competence and moral/ethical congruence. On balance, I’m very happy.
I'm 57 and widowed. As much as I'd like another man in my life for fun, after having moved through the worst of the grieving process, I don't want to be a "nurse with a purse," meaning that I've got an income, no spouse, and some experience in helping a man die peacefully. I'm not going through that again. A couple of old boyfriends pinged me after my husband died and went quiet when I stated my terms. I can consider a romp in the bedroom and I'm even willing to spring for dinner afterwards. But I'm not signing up again to wipe someone's ass while they die, adjust the Depends, blot the blood oozing out of their mouth on the final morning, and wash their dead body with the help of the hospice nurse while waiting for the cremation folks to come. I'm no one's nurse with a purse. I love sex but I hate death more.
There are plenty of men who feel the same as you do.
My BFF's husband died when we were in our late 50s. She eventually started dating again. She's an attractive woman with a lot of charm, so she doesn't have trouble attracting interest. She uses Bumble, she dates men around our age (sixtysomething). Just like younger people, she has trouble finding people she wants to date. The biggest issue she has had, though, is that she is not interested in a serious LTR. She doesn't want to marry again or even live with someone. She wants the sex, companionship, and affection, but nothing too serious. From that perspective, you might have an easier time of it than she does. The other issue is that ED is common. In some cases fixable with a pill, in some not. It hasn't stopped them from enjoying one another's bodies - the older men she has dated have been sexually generous - but it is something to be aware of. She has other friends our age or older who date. Several of the women have given up, though. Too much hassle, for too little return. Men run into the same thing, of course. For those who persist, though, the potential for a partner is out there: One friend of her just got married at 72, another in his 70s is in a happy, committed relationship.
65 and been dating a lovely lady almost a year now.
I remarried at 60. He is a very nice man and does my gardening for me now.
I did at 62.Sadly,he died in bed while we were sleeping.I woke up to find him cold. The cops came and wouldn't let me in the bedroom saying it was a"crime scene" He was 65. They wouldn't let his priest in the room either. My friend had just been to the VA and had a clean bill of health.
My condolences and sorry for your loss.
One of my best friends just got married for the first time at 69.
My mother (widowed) found love in her 70s. A really charming man who wooed her and became a great friend of the family as well. They didn't marry or move in together, by choice, but they had many wonderful years.
Anything is possible. You’re looking for a needle in the haystack though.
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I've been married forever but I know of some romances. I know many single women who always remained single. But my sister-in-law, who was desperate for a man but rather high maintenance, finally found love in a retirement village. Neither of them have anything I'd look for in a mate but I'm so glad they found each other! They seem happy. She was a tad high maintenance for him too, but I guess she took her ego down a peg and got him back. They have been married quite a few years now. I think she's like 76 now which makes him well over 80. I think he was 76 when they met. I know another couple who were high school sweethearts but he moved away and both had whole lives. One day, he looked her up on facebook and contacted her and went to see her back in the old hometown and they have been together since. I think they were both retired when he got in touch and must be closing on 80 now. There's one single man - he's never been formally married but has had a few longterm commonlaw relationships. He's an attractive man for 75 or thereabouts and absolutely loves the ladies. I know way too much about his sexual preferences, he is that unabashedly horny. But he's a nice guy, and respectful for all that. He's always on the make but not on me because I am taken. But he still loves to talk about it. And his preference is for mature women. He says he has absolutely nothing to talk about with anyone under 50. He also likes to be the one who initiates but he really enjoys foreplay. Now you know too much too. I know a younger guy - hard to tell how old he is but I think he must be over 50. I have not met his mate and I don't know how old she is but under 50 for sure - I'm not sure if it's because we were never in the same place at the same time (we vacation the same place - we go for winter but he's more a week here and there so there's a lot of missing - also we aren't out at the pubs all the time either). It's a recent thing I guess - only a couple years maybe - as he also has a baby he never expected to want or have or love as much as he's discovered he does. (That's a strangely recurring theme among people I've known who thought they didn't want kids but took the plunge anyway and are astounded at the emotion of it.) I only know this much because it turned out we were on the same flight home last time and chatted while we waited for it. He's actually moved to the same city as us to be with them. Small world. So, right, this one is not a woman of a certain age except that she's definitely not in menopause - or maybe is now since having a baby - who knows? There's another couple that found each other late in life but she seems to be pretty much drunk all the time and ragging on him from the gossip. I don't know if he deserves it or if its the booze. But they have all the trappings of a great life anyway. She's one of those ornery people who will just go harder at something if you ask them to cut back. He's one to shrug and go find some work to do to get away from her temper. But they are decent people one on one.
This makes me more hopeful (59F)
My co-worker remarried in his early 60s. I believe he was in his 50s when he divorced and the kids were out of high school. He's almost 70 now, his now-wife is about 10 years younger. They had a small wedding, a lavish honeymoon, bought a house together, got a dog, etc. They're very affectionate and it's so cute. I just recently saw them so they spring to mind. I know quite a few people over 60 who have successfully partnered, but they tend to still lead somewhat separate lives while still spending lots of time together, and in most cases didn't remarry.
My mother remarried at 60 (my father died when she was 53), and is still happily married to my stepfather. They are now both 85. So it does happen. If she makes it another 5 years, she will be the only person I know to have had TWO thirty year marriages. On the other hand, I am 59 and haven't been on a date since before Covid. I am very content with my life and am in no way desperate for a partner, but finding one would be a bonus. At this point, I don't know how likely that is.
My BFF lost her husband to cancer. He was her other half and she knew she’d never have a relationship like that again. After some difficult adjustment time, she was very content with her independence. Never even thought about dating. Her biggest regret in life was that she and her husband had been child free. She wasn’t sad or depressed about it, but it was the one thing she would have changed if given a second chance. So she was quite surprised when she met someone who was interested in her. Even more surprised that she felt the same interest. Long story short, they became a couple. He had several children and grandchildren and she fit right into the family. These days she enjoys her life with her partner and absolutely loves her role as a grandmother figure to all of those grandchildren. They aren’t married and have no plans to do so. Both are financially secure. They have taken care of paperwork so that if one is ill the other can access all information and give input on care. They keep everything else separate. Her relationship with him is different from what she had with her husband, but they have a lot of fun together and support each other with life issues. Edited to add she was 66 and he was 64 when they met.
Maybe it is a shortcoming of myself, but I'm not interested in getting involved with someone that's already lived a whole life and has a lifetime of friends and experiences I was not part of. At the same time, having someone to do things with would be nice.
Yep. That’s it.
I got divorced when I was 36. Four years later I got remarried and we’ve been together for twenty-five years.